Hey White Women w/ Knitting Cult Lady & White Woman Whisperer | 58 | Puritan Whiteness
Hey White Women
This episode is a wide-ranging conversation between Daniella and Rebecca about the everyday and systemic ways whiteness shapes culture, identity, and behavior. They discuss how beauty standards, camera technology, tanning culture, and even small tech features like autocapitalization reflect racial bias. A major theme is how white women often derail or center themselves in conversations about race, sometimes unintentionally, through whitesplaining or over-explaining. They explore beauty labor, the politics of hair and appearance, and how the same practices (such as time-consuming beauty...
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Hey White Women w/ Knitting Cult Lady & White Woman Whisperer | 57 | Who's Speaking Matters
Hey White Women
This episode features a deep, nuanced conversation between Daniella Mestyanek Young and Rebecca about whiteness, power, community, cultural disconnection, and the complicated dynamics of speaking about social issues publicly. They explore how race, gender, and perceived authority shape who is “allowed” to say what, and how society reacts differently depending on the identity of the speaker. Their discussion spans topics such as the weaponization of “niceness,” internal policing within white communities, the loss of joy in white American culture, the effects of cult-like systems,...
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Hey White Women w/ Knitting Cult Lady & White Woman Whisperer | 56 | Enablism
Hey White Women
In this wide-ranging and incisive conversation, Daniella Mestyanek Young and Rebecca (White Woman Whisperer) examine how white womanhood functions within patriarchal and white supremacist systems. They discuss cultural habits like performative complaining, body-shaming as small talk, and the defense of harmful relationships as coping mechanisms inherited from historical gender norms. The two connect these behaviors to broader enablism within oppressive systems, drawing parallels between interpersonal and systemic patterns of abuse. They explore the emotional labor of deconstruction—how...
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Hey White Women w/ Knitting Cult Lady & White Woman Whisperer | 55 | Weaponizing Whiteness
Hey White Women
In this episode, Daniella Mestyanek Young (Knitting Cult Lady) and Rebecca (White Woman Whisperer) unpack the process of recording the audiobook version of Daniella’s upcoming book and explore how their collaboration reflects deeper dynamics of race, privilege, and creative responsibility. They discuss rejecting the “easy” or most cost-effective route in favor of ethical decisions that honor Black voices and resist capitalist shortcuts. The conversation then broadens into weaponizing whiteness for good—how white women can leverage social privilege to confront injustice—and the...
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Hey White Women w/ Knitting Cult Lady & White Woman Whisperer | 54 | White Rapture Day
Hey White Women
Rebecca (White Woman Whisperer) and Daniella (“Knitting Cult Lady”) explore how white American culture is shaped by control, conformity, and suppression of individuality—from the witch trials to modern social norms. They connect white supremacy’s emphasis on stoicism and sameness to military culture, patriarchal family structures, beauty standards, and cult dynamics. Their conversation also unpacks the social coding of “whiteness” as denial of self, contrasting it with cultures where expression, emotion, and difference are normalized. The episode concludes with reflections on...
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Hey White Women w/ Knitting Cult Lady & White Woman Whisperer | 53 | It Can Be That Easy
Hey White Women
In this episode, Daniella (“Knitting Cult Lady”) and Rebecca (“White Woman Whisperer”) have a deep, layered conversation about deconstructing whiteness, celebrity culture, and over-identification through the lens of Taylor Swift. Daniella shares her personal process of deconstructing her identity as a lifelong Swiftie and connecting it to her broader work dismantling white womanhood and American cultic structures. Rebecca brings in a critical Black feminist lens, exploring the difference between individualism and community, white women’s relationship to innocence and denial, and how...
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Hey White Women w/ Knitting Cult Lady & White Woman Whisperer | ep52 | Consumer Privilege
Hey White Women
In this episode, Rebecca and Daniella explore the intersections of race, consumer privilege, tone policing, and digital labor—particularly how these dynamics play out for women of color online. Rebecca revisits her viral “caption gate” controversy, unpacking how white women often use moralized accessibility language (“just add captions”) as a covert way to assert dominance and demand labor. The two also dissect the cultural discomfort around Black women expressing anger, the dehumanizing expectations placed on female creators, and the myth that public educators or creators owe...
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Hey White Women w/ Knitting Cult Lady and White Woman Whisperer | ep51 | White Woman Tears
Hey White Women
This episode features Daniella (“Knitting Cult Lady”) and Rebecca (the “White Woman Whisperer”) unpacking themes of violence, privilege, whiteness, cult dynamics, and the demands placed on public figures to perform morality online. They reflect on recent events, including reactions to political violence and how white Americans process (or avoid processing) martyrdom, policing, and systemic violence. The conversation critiques the idea that “violence is never the answer” as a privileged stance, explores how audiences police creators’ responses to current events, and discusses the...
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White Women w/ Knitting Cult Lady & White Woman Whisperer | ep50 | Paradox of Proving Yourself
Hey White Women
In this conversation, Daniella Mestyanek Young (“Knitting Cult Lady”) and Rebecca (aka “White Woman Whisperer”) explore how cult dynamics show up in the U.S. military, publishing, and everyday systems of power. Daniella shares insights from her forthcoming book Culting of America, reflecting on the accessibility of ideas across mediums (books, documentaries, TikTok), and the challenges of being taken seriously while calling the military a cult. The discussion ranges from personal deconstruction journeys, the paradox of proving oneself, and the caste-like structures of whiteness, to...
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Hey White Women w/ Knitting Cult Lady and White Woman Whisperer | ep49 | Un-Gaslighting Whiteness
Hey White Women
This episode brings Daniella Mestyanek Young and Rebecca into a candid conversation about cult dynamics, purity culture, whiteness, and the process of building communities rooted in truth rather than secrecy or shame. They unpack how cult logic—like the weaponization of secrets, unquestioned authority, and worship of the written word—maps onto broader systems like white supremacy and American culture. Daniella reflects on her work writing Uncultured and her upcoming projects, highlighting how her extreme experiences serve as an entry point for others to recognize parallels in their own...
info_outlineIn this candid and wide-ranging conversation, Daniella Mestyanek Young unpacks how cult dynamics shape everyday life—from the military to motherhood, from corporate jargon to childhood punishments over “scowling at the Word of God.” She and Rebecca dig into the subtle and overt ways white supremacy trains white women into compliance and calls it safety. Daniella also breaks down the coded messages in American media—including her darkly hilarious theory that Winnie the Pooh is a cult.
Through stories of her upbringing, military career, and anti-racism work, Daniella helps listeners understand how deeply entrenched programming operates—and how to begin deconstructing it. The episode invites white women to stop waiting for a dramatic “battle vs. brunch” moment and instead get honest about the slow erosion of freedom already underway. Haley, the show’s producer, also jumps in to share a disturbing moment that made them stop letting their son watch Winnie the Pooh, connecting racism in children’s media to the broader themes of the episode.
Connect with Rebecca at:
The White Woman Whisperer Website
The White Woman Whisperer Patreon
The White Woman Whisperer TikTok
Connect with Daniella at:
You can read all about that story in my book, Uncultured-- buy signed copies here. https://bit.ly/SignedUncultured
For more info on me:
Patreon: https://bit.ly/YTPLanding
Cult book Clubs (Advanced AND Memoirs) Annual Membership: https://bit.ly/YTPLanding
Get an autographed copy of my book, Uncultured: https://bit.ly/SignedUncultured
Get my book, Uncultured, from Bookshop.org: https://bit.ly/4g1Ufw8
Daniella’s Tiktok: https://bit.ly/4bwvNC0
Instagram: https://bit.ly/4ePAOFK / daniellamyoung_
Unamerican video book (on Patreon): https://bit.ly/YTVideoBook
Secret Practice video book (on Patreon): https://bit.ly/3ZswGY8
Fundraiser for Culting of America book publishing https://tr.ee/fldwYRFTJ
🔑 Key Takeaways
Privilege is most clearly understood when it’s about something like eyesight—something not politicized but deeply unequal in terms of access.
“Winnie the Pooh is a cult”: Each character in the Hundred Acre Wood mirrors a role in coercive systems—Tigger as cult leader, Rabbit as enabler, Eeyore as the depressed second-gen scapegoat.
White women are often trained to wait for either 'brunch' or 'battle'—but this binary thinking ignores how authoritarianism creeps in quietly.
“Cotton-picking” language still shows up in kids’ media—revealing how embedded racist ideologies are in even the most innocent-seeming content.
Resting bitch face, attitude policing, and productivity metrics are all part of controlling systems—whether in cults, corporations, or culture.
The military is not a monolith: Daniella challenges assumptions about who serves, who gets platformed, and who gets believed.
Accountability means being wrong out loud—and using your own moments of unlearning as tools for others.
The goal isn’t just to de-center men or whiteness—it’s to center something better.
Chapters
0:00 The Privilege of Vision
07:10 Cultural Reflections on Perception and Behavior
10:08 Media, Representation, and Racial Dynamics
12:44 The Impact of Language and Cultural Narratives
15:46 The Role of Authority and Leadership in Communities
18:50 Brunch Culture and Social Activism
21:22 Navigating White Privilege and Social Responsibility
24:21 The Dynamics of Protest and Representation
27:12 Emergent Strategies in Social Movements
33:35 Awakening to Systemic Issues
34:59 Preparing for Difficult Conversations
37:18 The Military and Representation
39:54 Understanding Power Dynamics
41:46 The Role of Women in Patriarchy
44:57 The Impact of Leadership on Perception
46:39 Recognizing Patterns of Abuse
49:14 The Importance of Acknowledging Mistakes
52:25 Navigating Conversations on Identity
55:19 Empathy and Understanding in Activism
01:02:18 Understanding Neurodivergence and Personal Growth
01:04:48 The Dynamics of Tough Love and Communication
01:08:41 Attention as Currency in Social Dynamics
01:11:44 Building Unique Markets and Personal Branding
01:16:18 Navigating Identity and Societal Expectations
01:19:31 Skills Acquired from Cult Experiences
01:23:37 Resistance and Survival Skills in Adversity
01:30:14 The Legacy of Cults and Historical Figures
01:32:54 Patriarchy and Hierarchical Structures
01:35:17 Surviving Trauma and the Importance of Community
01:38:06 Understanding Human Experiences Across Cultures
01:40:43 Navigating Power Dynamics in Conversations
01:43:41 The Role of Privilege and Proof of PurposeProduced by Haley Phillips