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Hey White Women with Knitting Cult Lady and White Woman Whisperer | ep48 | Purity Prison

Hey White Women

Release Date: 09/11/2025

Hey White Women w/ Knitting Cult Lady & White Woman Whisperer | 58 | Puritan Whiteness show art Hey White Women w/ Knitting Cult Lady & White Woman Whisperer | 58 | Puritan Whiteness

Hey White Women

This episode is a wide-ranging conversation between Daniella and Rebecca about the everyday and systemic ways whiteness shapes culture, identity, and behavior. They discuss how beauty standards, camera technology, tanning culture, and even small tech features like autocapitalization reflect racial bias. A major theme is how white women often derail or center themselves in conversations about race, sometimes unintentionally, through whitesplaining or over-explaining. They explore beauty labor, the politics of hair and appearance, and how the same practices (such as time-consuming beauty...

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Hey White Women w/ Knitting Cult Lady & White Woman Whisperer | 57 | Who's Speaking Matters show art Hey White Women w/ Knitting Cult Lady & White Woman Whisperer | 57 | Who's Speaking Matters

Hey White Women

This episode features a deep, nuanced conversation between Daniella Mestyanek Young and Rebecca about whiteness, power, community, cultural disconnection, and the complicated dynamics of speaking about social issues publicly. They explore how race, gender, and perceived authority shape who is “allowed” to say what, and how society reacts differently depending on the identity of the speaker. Their discussion spans topics such as the weaponization of “niceness,” internal policing within white communities, the loss of joy in white American culture, the effects of cult-like systems,...

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Hey White Women w/ Knitting Cult Lady & White Woman Whisperer | 56 | Enablism show art Hey White Women w/ Knitting Cult Lady & White Woman Whisperer | 56 | Enablism

Hey White Women

In this wide-ranging and incisive conversation, Daniella Mestyanek Young and Rebecca (White Woman Whisperer) examine how white womanhood functions within patriarchal and white supremacist systems. They discuss cultural habits like performative complaining, body-shaming as small talk, and the defense of harmful relationships as coping mechanisms inherited from historical gender norms. The two connect these behaviors to broader enablism within oppressive systems, drawing parallels between interpersonal and systemic patterns of abuse. They explore the emotional labor of deconstruction—how...

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Hey White Women w/ Knitting Cult Lady & White Woman Whisperer | 55 | Weaponizing Whiteness show art Hey White Women w/ Knitting Cult Lady & White Woman Whisperer | 55 | Weaponizing Whiteness

Hey White Women

In this episode, Daniella Mestyanek Young (Knitting Cult Lady) and Rebecca (White Woman Whisperer) unpack the process of recording the audiobook version of Daniella’s upcoming book and explore how their collaboration reflects deeper dynamics of race, privilege, and creative responsibility. They discuss rejecting the “easy” or most cost-effective route in favor of ethical decisions that honor Black voices and resist capitalist shortcuts. The conversation then broadens into weaponizing whiteness for good—how white women can leverage social privilege to confront injustice—and the...

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Hey White Women w/ Knitting Cult Lady & White Woman Whisperer | 54 | White Rapture Day show art Hey White Women w/ Knitting Cult Lady & White Woman Whisperer | 54 | White Rapture Day

Hey White Women

Rebecca (White Woman Whisperer) and Daniella (“Knitting Cult Lady”) explore how white American culture is shaped by control, conformity, and suppression of individuality—from the witch trials to modern social norms. They connect white supremacy’s emphasis on stoicism and sameness to military culture, patriarchal family structures, beauty standards, and cult dynamics. Their conversation also unpacks the social coding of “whiteness” as denial of self, contrasting it with cultures where expression, emotion, and difference are normalized. The episode concludes with reflections on...

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Hey White Women w/ Knitting Cult Lady & White Woman Whisperer | 53 | It Can Be That Easy show art Hey White Women w/ Knitting Cult Lady & White Woman Whisperer | 53 | It Can Be That Easy

Hey White Women

In this episode, Daniella (“Knitting Cult Lady”) and Rebecca (“White Woman Whisperer”) have a deep, layered conversation about deconstructing whiteness, celebrity culture, and over-identification through the lens of Taylor Swift. Daniella shares her personal process of deconstructing her identity as a lifelong Swiftie and connecting it to her broader work dismantling white womanhood and American cultic structures. Rebecca brings in a critical Black feminist lens, exploring the difference between individualism and community, white women’s relationship to innocence and denial, and how...

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Hey White Women w/ Knitting Cult Lady & White Woman Whisperer | ep52 | Consumer Privilege show art Hey White Women w/ Knitting Cult Lady & White Woman Whisperer | ep52 | Consumer Privilege

Hey White Women

In this episode, Rebecca and Daniella explore the intersections of race, consumer privilege, tone policing, and digital labor—particularly how these dynamics play out for women of color online. Rebecca revisits her viral “caption gate” controversy, unpacking how white women often use moralized accessibility language (“just add captions”) as a covert way to assert dominance and demand labor. The two also dissect the cultural discomfort around Black women expressing anger, the dehumanizing expectations placed on female creators, and the myth that public educators or creators owe...

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Hey White Women w/ Knitting Cult Lady and White Woman Whisperer | ep51 | White Woman Tears show art Hey White Women w/ Knitting Cult Lady and White Woman Whisperer | ep51 | White Woman Tears

Hey White Women

This episode features Daniella (“Knitting Cult Lady”) and Rebecca (the “White Woman Whisperer”) unpacking themes of violence, privilege, whiteness, cult dynamics, and the demands placed on public figures to perform morality online. They reflect on recent events, including reactions to political violence and how white Americans process (or avoid processing) martyrdom, policing, and systemic violence. The conversation critiques the idea that “violence is never the answer” as a privileged stance, explores how audiences police creators’ responses to current events, and discusses the...

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White Women w/ Knitting Cult Lady & White Woman Whisperer | ep50 | Paradox of Proving Yourself show art White Women w/ Knitting Cult Lady & White Woman Whisperer | ep50 | Paradox of Proving Yourself

Hey White Women

In this conversation, Daniella Mestyanek Young (“Knitting Cult Lady”) and Rebecca (aka “White Woman Whisperer”) explore how cult dynamics show up in the U.S. military, publishing, and everyday systems of power. Daniella shares insights from her forthcoming book Culting of America, reflecting on the accessibility of ideas across mediums (books, documentaries, TikTok), and the challenges of being taken seriously while calling the military a cult. The discussion ranges from personal deconstruction journeys, the paradox of proving oneself, and the caste-like structures of whiteness, to...

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Hey White Women w/ Knitting Cult Lady and White Woman Whisperer | ep49 | Un-Gaslighting Whiteness show art Hey White Women w/ Knitting Cult Lady and White Woman Whisperer | ep49 | Un-Gaslighting Whiteness

Hey White Women

This episode brings Daniella Mestyanek Young and Rebecca into a candid conversation about cult dynamics, purity culture, whiteness, and the process of building communities rooted in truth rather than secrecy or shame. They unpack how cult logic—like the weaponization of secrets, unquestioned authority, and worship of the written word—maps onto broader systems like white supremacy and American culture. Daniella reflects on her work writing Uncultured and her upcoming projects, highlighting how her extreme experiences serve as an entry point for others to recognize parallels in their own...

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In this episode, Daniella and Rebecca dive into themes of creativity, body image, cultural conditioning, and the lingering impacts of cult and purity culture. Daniella shares her journey of transforming clothing and crafts as a form of healing, while Rebecca draws connections between whiteness, consumerism, and self-imposed restrictions on bodies and identities. Together, they unpack how purity culture manifests in practices like “purity balls,” clothing expectations, and even shower habits, connecting these to deeper systems of control rooted in patriarchy, whiteness, and colonization.

The conversation also explores cross-cultural experiences of communal bathing, body acceptance, and how exposure to diverse bodies and practices can shift self-perception. They highlight how ignorance—whether about washing, menstruation, or cultural traditions—becomes institutionalized and weaponized, often to exclude or control marginalized groups.

The episode closes by reflecting on language, labeling, and how subtle choices in words carry histories of colonization, while also pointing toward possibilities for decolonizing everyday life through awareness, community, and art.

Connect with Rebecca at:

The White Woman Whisperer Website

 

The White Woman Whisperer Patreon

 

The White Woman Whisperer TikTok

 

Connect with Daniella at:

You can read all about that story in my book, Uncultured-- buy signed copies here. https://bit.ly/SignedUncultured
For more info on me:
Patreon: https://bit.ly/YTPLanding
Cult book Clubs (Advanced AND Memoirs) Annual Membership: https://bit.ly/YTPLanding
Get an autographed copy of my book, Uncultured: https://bit.ly/SignedUncultured
Get my book, Uncultured, from Bookshop.org: https://bit.ly/4g1Ufw8
Daniella’s Tiktok: https://bit.ly/4bwvNC0 
Instagram:  https://bit.ly/4ePAOFK / daniellamyoung_ 
Unamerican video book (on Patreon): https://bit.ly/YTVideoBook
Secret Practice video book (on Patreon): https://bit.ly/3ZswGY8
Fundraiser for Culting of America book publishing https://tr.ee/fldwYRFTJ

Key Takeaways

  • Art as Healing and Resistance: Crafting and repurposing clothes can serve both as personal healing from trauma and as a way to resist consumerist and body-restrictive culture.

  • Purity Culture as Control: Practices like purity balls and body-based restrictions reflect patriarchal and white supremacist control, often disguised as morality or tradition.

  • Flat Stomach as “Prison”: Daniella critiques the societal fixation on a flat stomach as a harmful, imprisoning ideal tied to disordered eating and control of women’s bodies.

  • Cults and Time Travel: Beyond “space travel,” cults often promise or enforce “time travel”—keeping people fixated on returning to an idealized past or fearing an uncertain future.

  • White Culture’s War on Washing: Shower control, limited bathing, and metaphors like “brainwashing” reveal deeper histories of colonization, scarcity, and body regulation.

  • Communal Bathing as Counterculture: Exposure to communal, intergenerational bathing practices fosters body acceptance and challenges shame-based conditioning.

  • Ignorance and Shame: Whiteness often weaponizes ignorance—mocking or shaming people for “not knowing”—rather than embracing education as ongoing growth.

  • Language Matters: Word choices carry colonial and cultural weight. Shifts in language (e.g., moving away from terms like “sacred cow” or “knitter”) can open space for inclusivity.

  • Privilege as Managed Consequences: White privilege often shows up as having consequences absorbed or managed by others—shielding people from accountability.

  • Self-Dehumanization: Systems like patriarchy and whiteness train people to see themselves as unworthy, reinforcing cycles of control and comparison.

Chapters

00:00 Crafting Connections: The Art of Creation
02:56 The Healing Power of Crafting
05:49 Fashioning Identity: Clothes and Self-Perception
08:23 Cults and Cultural Commentary
11:18 The Intersection of Control and Identity
14:19 Purity Culture and Its Implications
19:36 The Control of Scarcity and Hierarchy
22:15 Self-Care vs. Self-Slavery
25:37 Deconstructing Identity and Cultural Norms
29:12 Patterns of Control in Cultures and Societies
33:17 The Impact of Purity Culture on Self-Perception
38:20 Communal Bathing and Body Acceptance
42:23 Body Image and Self-Compassion
43:23 Vulva Trauma and Representation
44:46 Cultural Ignorance and Period Stigma
46:52 Racial Dynamics and Cultural Identity
49:24 Compliments and Social Expectations
51:32 Emotional Responses and Social Norms
54:35 Privilege and Consequences
58:38 Language and Cultural Sensitivity
01:08:22 The Political Shift in Creative Spaces
01:11:25 Racism and Class Dynamics in Brazil
01:13:34 Challenging Hierarchies and Embracing Community
01:17:27 Redefining Living Spaces and Authenticity
01:21:21 The Illusion of Retirement and Life Balance
01:23:21 Exploitation of Labor and the Cult of Capitalism
01:29:10 Activism and the Power of Sitting In

Produced by Haley Phillips