Libsyn Directory

Hey White Women w/ Knitting Cult Lady and White Woman Whisperer | ep49 | Un-Gaslighting Whiteness

Release Date: 09/18/2025

Hey White Women w/ Knitting Cult Lady & White Woman Whisperer | 58 | Puritan Whiteness

Hey White Women

This episode is a wide-ranging conversation between Daniella and Rebecca about the everyday and systemic ways whiteness shapes culture, identity, and behavior. They discuss how beauty standards, camera technology, tanning culture, and even small tech features like autocapitalization reflect racial bias. A major theme is how white women often derail or center themselves in conversations about race, sometimes unintentionally, through whitesplaining or over-explaining. They explore beauty labor, the politics of hair and appearance, and how the same practices (such as time-consuming beauty...

Hey White Women w/ Knitting Cult Lady & White Woman Whisperer | 57 | Who's Speaking Matters

Hey White Women

This episode features a deep, nuanced conversation between Daniella Mestyanek Young and Rebecca about whiteness, power, community, cultural disconnection, and the complicated dynamics of speaking about social issues publicly. They explore how race, gender, and perceived authority shape who is “allowed” to say what, and how society reacts differently depending on the identity of the speaker. Their discussion spans topics such as the weaponization of “niceness,” internal policing within white communities, the loss of joy in white American culture, the effects of cult-like systems,...

Hey White Women w/ Knitting Cult Lady & White Woman Whisperer | 56 | Enablism

Hey White Women

In this wide-ranging and incisive conversation, Daniella Mestyanek Young and Rebecca (White Woman Whisperer) examine how white womanhood functions within patriarchal and white supremacist systems. They discuss cultural habits like performative complaining, body-shaming as small talk, and the defense of harmful relationships as coping mechanisms inherited from historical gender norms. The two connect these behaviors to broader enablism within oppressive systems, drawing parallels between interpersonal and systemic patterns of abuse. They explore the emotional labor of deconstruction—how...

Hey White Women w/ Knitting Cult Lady & White Woman Whisperer | 55 | Weaponizing Whiteness

Hey White Women

In this episode, Daniella Mestyanek Young (Knitting Cult Lady) and Rebecca (White Woman Whisperer) unpack the process of recording the audiobook version of Daniella’s upcoming book and explore how their collaboration reflects deeper dynamics of race, privilege, and creative responsibility. They discuss rejecting the “easy” or most cost-effective route in favor of ethical decisions that honor Black voices and resist capitalist shortcuts. The conversation then broadens into weaponizing whiteness for good—how white women can leverage social privilege to confront injustice—and the...

Hey White Women w/ Knitting Cult Lady & White Woman Whisperer | 54 | White Rapture Day

Hey White Women

Rebecca (White Woman Whisperer) and Daniella (“Knitting Cult Lady”) explore how white American culture is shaped by control, conformity, and suppression of individuality—from the witch trials to modern social norms. They connect white supremacy’s emphasis on stoicism and sameness to military culture, patriarchal family structures, beauty standards, and cult dynamics. Their conversation also unpacks the social coding of “whiteness” as denial of self, contrasting it with cultures where expression, emotion, and difference are normalized. The episode concludes with reflections on...

Hey White Women w/ Knitting Cult Lady & White Woman Whisperer | 53 | It Can Be That Easy

Hey White Women

In this episode, Daniella (“Knitting Cult Lady”) and Rebecca (“White Woman Whisperer”) have a deep, layered conversation about deconstructing whiteness, celebrity culture, and over-identification through the lens of Taylor Swift. Daniella shares her personal process of deconstructing her identity as a lifelong Swiftie and connecting it to her broader work dismantling white womanhood and American cultic structures. Rebecca brings in a critical Black feminist lens, exploring the difference between individualism and community, white women’s relationship to innocence and denial, and how...

Hey White Women w/ Knitting Cult Lady & White Woman Whisperer | ep52 | Consumer Privilege

Hey White Women

In this episode, Rebecca and Daniella explore the intersections of race, consumer privilege, tone policing, and digital labor—particularly how these dynamics play out for women of color online. Rebecca revisits her viral “caption gate” controversy, unpacking how white women often use moralized accessibility language (“just add captions”) as a covert way to assert dominance and demand labor. The two also dissect the cultural discomfort around Black women expressing anger, the dehumanizing expectations placed on female creators, and the myth that public educators or creators owe...

Hey White Women w/ Knitting Cult Lady and White Woman Whisperer | ep51 | White Woman Tears

Hey White Women

This episode features Daniella (“Knitting Cult Lady”) and Rebecca (the “White Woman Whisperer”) unpacking themes of violence, privilege, whiteness, cult dynamics, and the demands placed on public figures to perform morality online. They reflect on recent events, including reactions to political violence and how white Americans process (or avoid processing) martyrdom, policing, and systemic violence. The conversation critiques the idea that “violence is never the answer” as a privileged stance, explores how audiences police creators’ responses to current events, and discusses the...

White Women w/ Knitting Cult Lady & White Woman Whisperer | ep50 | Paradox of Proving Yourself

Hey White Women

In this conversation, Daniella Mestyanek Young (“Knitting Cult Lady”) and Rebecca (aka “White Woman Whisperer”) explore how cult dynamics show up in the U.S. military, publishing, and everyday systems of power. Daniella shares insights from her forthcoming book Culting of America, reflecting on the accessibility of ideas across mediums (books, documentaries, TikTok), and the challenges of being taken seriously while calling the military a cult. The discussion ranges from personal deconstruction journeys, the paradox of proving oneself, and the caste-like structures of whiteness, to...

Hey White Women w/ Knitting Cult Lady and White Woman Whisperer | ep49 | Un-Gaslighting Whiteness

Hey White Women

More Episodes

This episode brings Daniella Mestyanek Young and Rebecca into a candid conversation about cult dynamics, purity culture, whiteness, and the process of building communities rooted in truth rather than secrecy or shame. They unpack how cult logic—like the weaponization of secrets, unquestioned authority, and worship of the written word—maps onto broader systems like white supremacy and American culture. Daniella reflects on her work writing Uncultured and her upcoming projects, highlighting how her extreme experiences serve as an entry point for others to recognize parallels in their own lives. Rebecca emphasizes “un-gaslighting” as a practice—naming harmful cultural dynamics so people can break free from them. Together, they discuss credibility, community care, and how both survivors of cults and white women confronting systemic racism can take responsibility for their healing without centering competition or trauma-shaming. The conversation balances personal storytelling with calls to collective responsibility and imagination for healthier communities.

Connect with Rebecca at:

The White Woman Whisperer Website

The White Woman Whisperer Patreon

The White Woman Whisperer TikTok

Connect with Daniella at:

You can read all about that story in my book, Uncultured-- buy signed copies here. https://bit.ly/SignedUncultured

For more info on me:

Patreon: https://bit.ly/YTPLanding

Cult book Clubs (Advanced AND Memoirs) Annual Membership: https://bit.ly/YTPLanding

Get an autographed copy of my book, Uncultured: https://bit.ly/SignedUncultured

Get my book, Uncultured, from Bookshop.org: https://bit.ly/4g1Ufw8

Daniella’s Tiktok: https://bit.ly/4bwvNC0

Instagram: https://bit.ly/4ePAOFK / daniellamyoung_

Unamerican video book (on Patreon): https://bit.ly/YTVideoBook

Secret Practice video book (on Patreon): https://bit.ly/3ZswGY8

Fundraiser for Culting of America book publishing https://tr.ee/fldwYRFTJ

Key Takeaways

Secrets as a red flag: Both cults and oppressive systems often rely on secrecy and silencing. Naming and sharing truth is a liberating act.

Worship of the written word: Blind adherence to texts (like the Bible or Constitution) enables harm; authority must be questioned, not just accepted because it’s written.

Community building: Daniella and Rebecca frame their work as “un-gaslighting,” affirming survivors’ stories without gatekeeping what counts as “real” trauma.

Relatability as entry point: Daniella’s extreme cult background creates credibility, but the deeper goal is helping everyday people recognize how white supremacy and patriarchy function in subtler ways.

Responsibility in whiteness: White women in particular must deconstruct their complicity in white supremacy and should see themselves as “graduate students” learning, not professors teaching.

Trauma without competition: Healthy communities don’t shame members for their trauma or create hierarchies of suffering.

Credibility and confidence: Both speakers reflect on moving past needing external validation (degrees, books, male approval) and instead trusting their lived expertise.

Sustainable activism: Both stress pacing, safety, and intentionality—choosing to build platforms that reach the right people rather than chasing universal approval.

Chapters

00:00 Defending Perspectives and Building Platforms

02:54 The Value of Self-Identification and Expertise

05:59 The Role of Written Word and Capitalism

08:55 Secrets, Trauma, and Community

11:53 Cult Survivorship and Storytelling

14:32 Building a Supportive Community

17:41 Worship of the Written Word and Its Implications

20:41 Navigating Trauma and Identity

25:50 Navigating Perceptions and Identity

26:56 The Power of Saying No

29:21 Purity Culture and Its Implications

31:13 The Role of Authority in Religion

33:54 Establishing Credibility and Expertise

37:28 Audience Engagement and Reactions

39:59 Understanding Authoritarianism and Voting Behavior

42:52 The Role of Influencers in Social Change

53:47 Collaboration and Visibility in Activism

54:34 Bridging the Gap in Conversations

57:57 The Role of White Creators in Deconstructing Whiteness

01:00:55 Understanding Achievement Addiction and Its Implications

01:03:45 Redefining Cults and Coercive Control

01:07:41 Using Privilege for Positive Change

01:09:34 The Power of Collective Action

01:12:37 Navigating Conversations on Race and Privilege

Produced by Haley Phillips

Key Takeaways

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