Ep 139 - Sunnah-Centred Manhood vs Online Masculinity Culture, Dawah Bros & Feminism | Habeeb Akande

Habeeb Akande, British-Nigerian writer, historian, and sex educator, joins us to unpack topics many Muslims argue about loudly, but rarely discuss with depth, nuance, and real principles.

We talk about the modern crisis of masculinity in Muslim spaces, why “Red Pill vs feminist” has become a rigid false binary, and how figures like Andrew Tate and Jordan Peterson slot into a deeper identity struggle for some Muslim men.

We also explore how Islamic terms get weaponised in online discourse, including misusing concepts like fitrah to baptise personal opinions as “Islam”, and flattening ghayrah into coercive control rather than principled, loving boundaries.

Throughout the conversation, we return to a core theme, prophetic masculinity is not a performance, it is integrity, responsibility, and protecting the vulnerable, not exploiting religious language to justify manipulation or abuse.

Topics that we cover:

- The “tribal” pull of sport, and why it bonds men so intensely

- Why the manosphere appeals to Muslim men, identity, insecurity, and performative masculinity 

- “Red Pill vs feminist” as a trap, and how Islam pushes a more mature middle path

- Ghayrah, translation, boundaries, and how language can mislead

- Fitrah being used like a debate weapon, and why that’s dangerous

- Intimacy in the Islamic tradition, and why we turned it into a taboo topic

Timestamps:

0:00 Football banter, sports as the male soap opera

11:42 Intimacy in Islam, why it became a taboo topic

15:20 Polygyny, ethics, and exploitation

36:13 Calling out hypocrisy, double standards with women vs men

37:17 Who we “expose” vs who we excuse 

39:26 Platforming “reformed” gangsters, ignoring sisters

49:24 Minivan drug dealers debating aqeedah, the problem is control

58:00 Prophetic sexual ethics, the cave hadith, and euphemisms

1:05:51 “Protective jealousy” translation, what ghayrah actually means

1:08:14 Fitrah in manosphere debates, why it gets weaponised

1:10:10 Polygamy and fitrah claims, where the logic goes wrong

1:13:32 Haya and translation problems, how language traps people

1:14:34 “Sexual discipline” vs desire, framing that resonates today

1:19:58 Ramadan clarity, food, drink, and intercourse (not vague euphemisms)

1:24:27 What traits define healthy masculinity

1:26:15 Hijab, beard, and optics vs real akhlaq

1:40:12 Red pill thinking, religious language used as loopholes

1:44:09 Tarbiyah gap, knowledge without character formation

1:46:50 Protector and provider, stepping up not posturing

1:51:11 “Dawah bros” image, culture war performance, self branding

1:55:31 Dayuth and ghayrah, meaning vs misuse

1:56:26 “Providing” as status aesthetics, entitlement, control

2:02:56 Marriage “expertise”, divorce rates, and what wisdom actually is

2:23:23 Final reflections, wrap up