68: How the Stories We Tell Ourselves Can Make or Break Our Relationship with Lindsey Carnick

We all tell ourselves stories — about our partners, our relationships, and even about who we are. But what happens when those stories start to hurt our connection instead of helping it?

In this episode, I sit down with Lindsey Carnick to talk about something that shapes every relationship — the stories we tell ourselves.

As humans, we are meaning-making creatures. Our brains are constantly trying to connect dots, fill in blanks, and make sense of what’s happening around us — especially in our closest relationships. But sometimes, the stories we tell ourselves aren’t accurate, and they can quietly erode trust, intimacy, and emotional safety.

Lindsey and I explore how these stories form, how they impact our reactions, and what we can do to change them. We also talk about what it really means to slow down, respond with intention, and remember that you and your partner are on the same team.

In This Episode, You’ll Learn:

• Why our brains are “meaning-making machines” and how that affects relationships
• How assumptions and quick judgments can fuel conflict
• The difference between reactions and responses — and why slowing down matters
• How to recognize your body’s early warning signs of escalation
• Tools like the RLT Timeout to create space and safety during conflict
• The power of clear communication: setting your partner up for success
• Why remembering you’re on the same team can transform your perspective

If you’ve ever found yourself overthinking, assuming, or feeling misunderstood, this conversation will help you slow down, get curious, and reconnect with what’s actually true.

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• Read the show notes for this episode here.