The Communicate & Connect Podcast for Military Relationships

In The Communicate and Connect Podcast for Military Relationships, marriage counselor Dr. Elizabeth Polinsky explains relationship science and discusses educational tips for improving your relationship and navigating military family life.

063: Understanding and Overcoming the Freeze Response in Relationships with Lauren Dry 06/02/2025

062: How to deal with different parenting styles with Adam Angel 05/05/2025

062: How to deal with different parenting styles with Adam Angel Welcome to this episode of The Communicate & Connect Podcast, where we tackle the ever-relevant topic of how to deal with different parenting styles. In today's conversation, host Dr. Elizabeth Polinsky is joined by Adam Angel, a specialist in supporting new dads and an advocate for thoughtful, collaborative parenting approaches. This episode is particularly significant for military families, who often face unique challenges and transitions. Adam begins by sharing his personal journey into fatherhood during the pandemic, which led to his development of a supportive group for new dads. Throughout the discussion, Adam and Dr. Polinsky explore the factors that contribute to varying parenting styles, including cultural backgrounds, childhood experiences, and personal values. They emphasize the importance of understanding child development stages and how this knowledge can bridge gaps between differing parenting philosophies. Together, they provide actionable advice on leveraging common goals to unite parenting efforts, such as focusing on long-term outcomes like resilience, empathy, and independence in children. The conversation centers around enhancing the parent-child relationship while navigating conflicts that often arise from different views on parenting. Adam shares valuable insights into the necessity of open communication between co-parents, encouraging listeners to engage in constructive dialogues that can lead to mutual compromise and understanding. In a society where parenting can be an isolated endeavor, Adam advocates for the importance of maintaining a supportive network, which can greatly enrich the parenting experience. This episode is a must-listen for parents looking to improve their relationship dynamics and discover effective strategies for dealing with different parenting styles. Whether you're part of a military family or simply navigating the daily challenges of parenting, tune in to learn how to enhance communication and connection in your family life while successfully dealing with differing parenting styles. >>>Make sure to like, review, and subscribe to get all the future episodes and help the podcast be found by others who would benefit the most. /episode/index/show/communicateandconnectpodcast/id/35505045

061: How to improve intimacy in a relationship with Chloe Mascord 04/07/2025

060: How to make your relationship STRONG with Kristal Desantis 03/03/2025

060: How to make your relationship STRONG with Kristal Desantis Welcome to Episode 060 of The Communicate & Connect Podcast! I'm your host, Dr. Elizabeth Polinsky, and today we have an enlightening conversation with the incredible Kristal Desantis, a licensed marriage and family therapist based in Austin, Texas. In this episode, we delve into the often-overlooked dynamics of men in relationships and the societal expectations that shape their roles and behaviors. Kristal shares her insights on the shifting roles of men, particularly the challenge of being valued for performance over personhood. We'll unpack the powerful metaphor of "lipstick on a pig" to illustrate the ways we sometimes mask relationship issues, and we'll discuss the knight-in-shining-armor stereotype that many men grapple with. One of the highlights of our discussion is Kristal's book, "Strong: A Relationship Field Guide for the Modern Man," and her innovative STRONG acronym—Safety, Trust, Respect, Openness, Nurturing, and Generosity—that serves as a comprehensive guide to building resilient and loving relationships. We'll touch on practical advice for military couples, the importance of vulnerability, and the impact of societal myths on male sexual readiness and desire. You'll also learn about the fun and transformative Bonding Boot Camps that Kristal and her husband run in Texas, offering couples a chance to reconnect and build better communication skills. Plus, you'll get a sneak peek at Kristal's online courses and in-person sessions designed to strengthen relationships. So, tune in for an episode packed with valuable insights and actionable advice to help make your relationship stronger than ever. Don’t forget to check the show notes for links to Kristal’s book, courses, and more! >>>Make sure to like, review, and subscribe to get all the future episodes and help the podcast be found by others who would benefit the most. /episode/index/show/communicateandconnectpodcast/id/34837570

059: Military Spouse Relocation - Navigating leaving friends and home behind with Leigh Conant 02/03/2025

058: Coping with PCS Stress with Michelle Farmer 01/06/2025

057: Navigating living overseas and OCONUS military life with Brianna Mendoza 12/02/2024

056: How to make a Military Marriage Work with Darrell and Veronica Williams 11/04/2024

055: Attachment Theory and Domestic Violence with Jef Slootmaeckers 10/07/2024

055: Attachment Theory and Domestic Violence with Jef Slootmaeckers Welcome to Episode 55 of The Communicate & Connect Podcast! I'm your host, Dr. Elizabeth Polinsky, and in today's episode, we're diving deep into the complex world of attachment theory and its intertwining with domestic violence, especially within the military context. Joining us is Jef Slootmaeckers, an Emotionally Focused Trainer with ICEEFT and therapist with a profound understanding of the relational dynamics related to domestic violence. In this episode, we explore the intricate balance between emotional regulation and survival strategies, focusing on the pivotal questions of attachment: "Are you there for me?" "Am I good enough?" and "Do I belong?" Through the epsiode, Jef and Liz discuss how these questions influence military relationships through the challenging phases of deployment, homecoming, and everyday interactions. We discuss the cycle of pursuing and withdrawing that many couples experience, emphasizing the unique stressors of military life, and the critical need for boundaries and support in cases of intimate partner violence (IPV). Jef sheds light on the different forms of IPV and the attachment dramas that often escalate conflicts, stressing the importance of deshaming and understanding in therapeutic settings. Listeners will gain valuable insights into the emotional struggles of military families, the powerful impact of naming and processing emotions, and the hope for resolving conflicts through empathy and connection. Join us as we navigate these sensitive topics and aim to normalize the complexities of military life while offering resources and support for couples in need. Don't miss out on this enlightening conversation with Jef Slootmaeckers on attachment, love, trauma, and resilience. Don't forget to check out our for further insights into your relationship. Let's get started! >>>Make sure to like, review, and subscribe to get all the future episodes and help the podcast be found by others who would benefit the most. to help you understand the quality and security of your relationship /episode/index/show/communicateandconnectpodcast/id/32886342

054: How to Deal with Separation Anxiety in Relationships with Megan McCullough 09/02/2024

053: How to Regulate a Dysregulated Nervous System with Michelle Cantrell 08/05/2024

052: Healing from Betrayal Trauma with Kelly Bourque 07/01/2024

051: Attachment theory and marriage with Dr. Greg Cheney 06/03/2024

050: Attachment parenting with Con Sheehan 05/06/2024

049: Attachment theory and divorce with Dr. Clare Rosoman 04/01/2024

049: Attachment theory and divorce with Dr. Clare Rosoman Welcome back to The Communicate & Connect Podcast with your host, Dr. Elizabeth Polinsky. Today, we continue our special series on attachment in relationships and are joined by Dr. Clare Rosoman, a Clinical Psychologist in Brisbane, Australia. She is an international trainer in Emotionally Focused Therapy and is the author of "," and its , Dr. Rosoman brings compassion, expertise, and grounded advice on navigating the turbulent seas of heartbreak. Before we dive in, remember to take our to assess the attachment dynamics in your own relationships. In this episode, we’ll explore the realities of divorce rates among military couples and delve into the "Goldilocks flexibility" needed to manage the delicate balance between honoring our feelings and moving forward pragmatically. Dr. Rosoman will reveal how your attachment style can be a guiding north star through the process of healing and growth after a relationship loss. Together, Dr. Rosoman and I discuss attachment theory as it relates to our need for closeness, comfort, and the inevitable impact on our emotional regulation when bonds are severed. We'll also share personal reflections on how varying attachment strategies play out in real life, particularly through the lens of military deployments. This episode isn’t just about loss—it's a beacon of hope for rediscovering your capacity to thrive post-divorce, and a reminder that through understanding and grieving, we can emerge resilient and ready for deeper connections. So, let's navigate the journey of relationship loss and the transformative power of attachment theory. Whether you're grappling with the end of a relationship or seeking to understand your emotional landscape, we're here to guide you through it—with grace, empathy, and insight. >>>Make sure to like, review, and subscribe to get all the future episodes and help the podcast be found by others who would benefit the most. to help you understand the quality and security of your relationship /episode/index/show/communicateandconnectpodcast/id/30607408

048: Attachment theory and spirituality with Dr. Bill Senyard 03/04/2024

047: Attachment theory in relationships with Dr. James Hawkins 02/05/2024

046: Attachment Theory 101 01/01/2024

046: Attachment Theory 101 Welcome to The Communicate & Connect Podcast for Military Relationships. I'm your host, Elizabeth Polinsky, and today we're talking about Attachment Theory, which plays a crucial role in understanding the dynamics of intimate relationships—particularly within military couples. This series is aimed at offering valuable insights into the intricacies of human attachment and how it can impact the resilience and satisfaction of couples navigating the complexities of military life. In this episode, titled "Attachment Theory 101," we'll explore the fundamental concepts of Attachment Theory, originating from the pioneering work of John Bowlby. This theory investigates the significant impact that parent-child interactions have on personal development. We'll examine how these early attachments form an internal template that can affect our self-esteem and our ability to trust others as we grow into adulthood. Throughout this series, I'll share perspectives from various experts in the field of Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy, a methodology deeply rooted in Attachment Theory. We will discuss how secure and insecure attachment styles manifest in relationships and their implications for couples experiencing the unique pressures of military life. From fears of abandonment and independence to the need for emotional closeness, understanding these dynamics is essential for fostering a supportive and stable partnership. One of the key highlights of this episode is the relationship between attachment security and coping mechanisms. Based on my own research, I'll reveal how the quality of your marriage can significantly impact your resilience and ability to handle stress more effectively than individual coping abilities alone. This is particularly meaningful for military families, where deployment and frequent relocations pose additional stresses. To help you assess the security of your own relationship, we're introducing a free, downloadable tool called the This quiz, developed from the Brief Accessibility, Responsiveness, and Engagement Scale used in my dissertation, allows you and your partner to measure the attachment-related behaviors in your relationship. Make sure to like, review, and subscribe to get all the future episodes and help the podcast be found by others who would benefit the most. to help you understand the quality and security of yoru relatiionship /episode/index/show/communicateandconnectpodcast/id/28907728

045: Different Types of Abuse in a Relationship 12/04/2023

045: Different Types of Abuse in a Relationship Welcome back to The Communicate & Connect Podcast, where we explore the many facets of building healthy, strong, and meaningful relationships. I'm your host, Elizabeth Polinsky, and in today's episode, we're diving into a critically important and often misunderstood topic: different types of abuse in relationships. Originally, this episode wasn't on our December 2023 schedule. However, a timely rescheduling provided a much-needed opportunity to shine a light on an issue that affects numerous couples, especially those connected to the military community. This conversation was inspired by a poignant discussion I recently came across in a military spouse Facebook group. An anonymous post described concerns over a partner's control over finances, raising the question of whether it was a case of financial abuse. The advice given by others was to leave the relationship, which sparked my desire to explore the complexities of abuse further. In today's deep dive, we'll unravel the distinctions between situational partner violence and intimate terrorism, key concepts necessary for understanding when problematic behaviors transition from harmful to perilous. Our discussion will encompass various forms of abuse, including physical, emotional, sexual, financial, digital, and stalking, with real-world examples to help identify these behaviors. Understanding that abuse is not always as black-and-white as it seems is crucial in addressing and alleviating its impacts. Research shared in this episode reveals that many cases of intimate partner violence are bidirectional and situational, driven by stress and conflict rather than a calculated pattern of control. Importantly, this episode isn't just about recognizing these issues. It's about finding pathways to healing and prevention. We’ll discuss effective resources, such as emotionally focused couples therapy, that offer couples a chance to address situational violence and improve communication and conflict resolution skills. And if you or someone you know is affected by intimate terrorism or pervasive patterns of abuse, I'll guide you on how to find help through resources like the As we unpack these challenging topics, remember that these discussions might be triggering for some listeners. If you find certain parts difficult to hear, consider reaching out to military resources, like , or professionals who can support you through your journey to safety and recovery. /episode/index/show/communicateandconnectpodcast/id/28907038

044: Navigating Military Life as a Couple with Matthew and Shanon Morris 11/06/2023

043: Chronic Pain in Relationships with Drs. Dustin & Kerry Brockberg 10/02/2023

042: Advocating for Yourself with Braquelle Murphy 09/04/2023

042: Advocating for Yourself with Braquelle Murphy Welcome to The Communicate & Connect Podcast, where we delve into the essential facets of communication and relationship-building, especially for those in military life. In today's episode, we're thrilled to feature Braquelle Murphy, a licensed graduate professional counselor from Maryland who specializes in trauma therapy and working with military couples. This conversation is packed with valuable insights on the art of self-advocacy, particularly tailored for military spouses who often face unique challenges. In our engaging discussion, Braquelle opens up about her personal journey of self-advocacy, from overcoming career hurdles overseas to forging meaningful relationships in new and unfamiliar territories. As a military spouse, she knows firsthand the importance of maintaining one's identity and pursuing personal goals despite the ever-changing landscape of military life. With a focus on building resilience, she shares strategies for effectively communicating your needs, staying persistent, and leveraging available resources to achieve your dreams. Host Elizabeth Polinsky offers an inviting space for this enlightening conversation, where they explore how self-advocacy not only supports personal development but also strengthens romantic relationships. Together, they unpack the critical role of having a supportive network, be it a partner, family, or friends, and how these connections can fuel your journey toward self-fulfillment. This episode is a must-listen for anyone seeking to enhance their skills in self-advocacy, particularly those connected to the military community. Whether you're struggling with career obstacles, long-distance relationships, or the demands of military life, you'll find practical tips, heartfelt stories, and inspiration to take control of your path and build a life that aligns with your values and aspirations. Make sure to like, review, and subscribe to get all the future episodes and help the podcast be found by others who would benefit the most. /episode/index/show/communicateandconnectpodcast/id/27739632

041: Recovering from Divorce with Karen McMahon 08/01/2023

041: Recovering from Divorce with Karen McMahon Welcome to The Communicate & Connect Podcast, the go-to resource for those seeking insightful discussions around relationships and personal growth. Today, we're delving into a topic that often feels like the end of the world but can actually be the dawn of a new beginning—recovering from divorce. This episode titled "Recovering from Divorce with Karen McMahon" is a must-listen for anyone experiencing or contemplating this life-altering transition. Joining us is the incredible Karen McMahon, a divorce and relationship coach with years of experience guiding individuals through the highs and lows of divorce. Karen’s personal journey through a high-conflict divorce, which she describes as both "a living hell and the best thing that ever happened to me," is a testament to the potential for profound personal growth during one of life’s most challenging events. This episode is packed with invaluable divorce recovery strategies that offer both emotional support and practical guidance. Karen will be sharing insights on how to navigate the emotional whirlwind of divorce. We'll explore the concept of "reframing," a powerful technique that can help transform negative thoughts and stories into empowering narratives, allowing for greater emotional resilience and personal empowerment. Additionally, Karen will discuss strategies for minimizing conflict reactivity—a crucial skill not only in the process of divorce but in every facet of life. This conversation isn't just for those going through a divorce; it's for anyone interested in personal development and breaking free from destructive patterns. You'll learn how to harness this period of significant upheaval to reinvent yourself and break generational cycles, ensuring a healthier future for yourself and your children. Importantly, we'll address the unique challenges faced by military families and the potential impact of divorce on service members, offering tips to navigate these specific hurdles with strength and grace. Our host, Elizabeth Polinsky, will guide this meaningful discussion, connecting Karen's expert advice with practical steps you can take right now to start your journey towards healing and growth. Whether you're on the brink of this transition or deep in the midst of it, this episode is filled with tools and insights to help you emerge stronger, wiser, and ready to embrace your next chapter with open arms. Make sure to like, review, and subscribe to get all the future episodes and help the podcast be found by others who would benefit the most. /episode/index/show/communicateandconnectpodcast/id/27587079

040: A veterans journey toward self forgiveness with Bob Taylor 07/03/2023

039: Healing from trauma while in a relationship with Karen Robinson 06/01/2023

039: Healing from trauma while in a relationship with Karen Robinson Welcome to The Communicate & Connect Podcast, where we delve into the essentials of managing and healing from trauma while in a relationship. In episode 39, "Healing from Trauma While in a Relationship," host Elizabeth Polinsky sit down with special guest Karen Robinson, a seasoned trauma recovery expert. Karen brings a wealth of knowledge from her extensive career as a military therapist and social worker with the Department of Defense. Whether you're part of a military couple or a civilian, this episode is filled with valuable insights into how trauma can profoundly impact relationships and how couples can take active steps toward healing and reconnection. In this power-packed discussion, we explore Karen's personal journey as both a survivor and an expert, revealing how trauma manifests emotionally, physically, and relationally. She guides us through the challenges couples face, especially military couples, in maintaining effective communication and keeping the spark of playfulness alive amidst adversity. Karen offers actionable strategies for improving communication, resolving conflict, and fostering closeness, ensuring couples have the tools needed to rebuild their bond. Discover Karen’s innovative concepts like the importance of establishing boundaries for time, the healing potential of maintaining playfulness, and the necessity for effective conflict resolution strategies. Learn about the transformative potential of mindfulness, mediation strategies, and the benefits of attending couples therapy to navigate your path to recovery. With detailed advice on creating a self-care toolbox and fostering empathy, Karen provides a roadmap for couples to reconnect and thrive together. Make sure to like, review, and subscribe to get all the future episodes and help the podcast be found by others who would benefit the most. /episode/index/show/communicateandconnectpodcast/id/26993421

038: Communicating needs in a relationship with Juliette Karaman 05/01/2023

037: Treat your relationship like a business with Dr. Robin Buckley 04/03/2023

036: Military Spouse Employment with Dr. Elaina DaLomba 03/01/2023

035: The Importance of Identity in Marriage with LaQuita Monley 02/01/2023

034: Dealing with Overwhelming Emotions with Jackie Schuld 01/02/2023

034: Dealing with Overwhelming Emotions with Jackie Schuld Welcome to Episode 034 of The Communicate & Connect Podcast, where we delve into the essential skills of effective communication and relationship-building, particularly in the challenging yet rewarding context of military relationships. I’m your host, Dr. Elizabeth Polinsky, a dedicated military marriage counselor, and today we are thrilled to have Jackie Schuld, an accomplished art therapist, mental health counselor, and military brat with a deep understanding of military life, joining us for a captivating discussion on dealing with overwhelming emotions. In this episode, we tackle how to manage complex emotions in relationships and distinguish between stating facts and making judgments—a crucial element in preventing misunderstandings. With insightful guidance from Jackie, we’ll explore how unresolved personal histories can subtly influence current dynamics in marriages, and learn practical strategies to effectively address and manage these emotions. Particularly for military couples, who face unique challenges such as frequent relocations and long-distance deployments, understanding the fluctuating nature of emotional needs becomes even more vital. Jackie will introduce us to the transformative framework of Marshall Rosenberg's nonviolent communication (NVC), a powerful theory and technique that focuses on understanding how our emotions are tied to the fulfillment of our needs. She will explain how positive emotions arise from met needs like adventure, and how challenges such as anger often reflect unmet needs for justice or understanding. This episode is packed with practical advice on expressing emotions without judgment, identifying unmet needs, and finding creative solutions when partners are unavailable to meet those needs—skills that are invaluable for military couples constantly navigating the demands of military life. We’ll also discuss various types of needs, including physical, community, and spiritual, and how these can impact relationship satisfaction. Make sure to like, review, and subscribe to get all the future episodes and help the podcast be found by others who would benefit the most. /episode/index/show/communicateandconnectpodcast/id/25433640

The Communicate & Connect Podcast for Military Relationships

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