The Communicate & Connect Podcast for Military Relationships

In The Communicate and Connect Podcast for Military Relationships, marriage counselor Dr. Elizabeth Polinsky explains relationship science and discusses educational tips for improving your relationship and navigating military family life.

056: How to make a Military Marriage Work with Darrell and Veronica Williams 11/04/2024

055: Attachment Theory and Domestic Violence with Jef Slootmaeckers 10/07/2024

055: Attachment Theory and Domestic Violence with Jef Slootmaeckers Welcome to Episode 55 of The Communicate & Connect Podcast! I'm your host, Dr. Elizabeth Polinsky, and in today's episode, we're diving deep into the complex world of attachment theory and its intertwining with domestic violence, especially within the military context. Joining us is Jef Slootmaeckers, an Emotionally Focused Trainer with ICEEFT and therapist with a profound understanding of the relational dynamics related to domestic violence. In this episode, we explore the intricate balance between emotional regulation and survival strategies, focusing on the pivotal questions of attachment: "Are you there for me?" "Am I good enough?" and "Do I belong?" Through the epsiode, Jef and Liz discuss how these questions influence military relationships through the challenging phases of deployment, homecoming, and everyday interactions. We discuss the cycle of pursuing and withdrawing that many couples experience, emphasizing the unique stressors of military life, and the critical need for boundaries and support in cases of intimate partner violence (IPV). Jef sheds light on the different forms of IPV and the attachment dramas that often escalate conflicts, stressing the importance of deshaming and understanding in therapeutic settings. Listeners will gain valuable insights into the emotional struggles of military families, the powerful impact of naming and processing emotions, and the hope for resolving conflicts through empathy and connection. Join us as we navigate these sensitive topics and aim to normalize the complexities of military life while offering resources and support for couples in need. Don't miss out on this enlightening conversation with Jef Slootmaeckers on attachment, love, trauma, and resilience. Don't forget to check out our for further insights into your relationship. Let's get started! >>>Make sure to like, review, and subscribe to get all the future episodes and help the podcast be found by others who would benefit the most. to help you understand the quality and security of your relationship /episode/index/show/communicateandconnectpodcast/id/32886342

054: How to Deal with Separation Anxiety in Relationships with Megan McCullough 09/02/2024

053: How to Regulate a Dysregulated Nervous System with Michelle Cantrell 08/05/2024

052: Healing from Betrayal Trauma with Kelly Bourque 07/01/2024

051: Attachment theory and marriage with Dr. Greg Cheney 06/03/2024

050: Attachment parenting with Con Sheehan 05/06/2024

049: Attachment theory and divorce with Dr. Clare Rosoman 04/01/2024

049: Attachment theory and divorce with Dr. Clare Rosoman Welcome back to The Communicate & Connect Podcast with your host, Dr. Elizabeth Polinsky. Today, we continue our special series on attachment in relationships and are joined by Dr. Clare Rosoman, a Clinical Psychologist in Brisbane, Australia. She is an international trainer in Emotionally Focused Therapy and is the author of "," and its , Dr. Rosoman brings compassion, expertise, and grounded advice on navigating the turbulent seas of heartbreak. Before we dive in, remember to take our to assess the attachment dynamics in your own relationships. In this episode, we’ll explore the realities of divorce rates among military couples and delve into the "Goldilocks flexibility" needed to manage the delicate balance between honoring our feelings and moving forward pragmatically. Dr. Rosoman will reveal how your attachment style can be a guiding north star through the process of healing and growth after a relationship loss. Together, Dr. Rosoman and I discuss attachment theory as it relates to our need for closeness, comfort, and the inevitable impact on our emotional regulation when bonds are severed. We'll also share personal reflections on how varying attachment strategies play out in real life, particularly through the lens of military deployments. This episode isn’t just about loss—it's a beacon of hope for rediscovering your capacity to thrive post-divorce, and a reminder that through understanding and grieving, we can emerge resilient and ready for deeper connections. So, let's navigate the journey of relationship loss and the transformative power of attachment theory. Whether you're grappling with the end of a relationship or seeking to understand your emotional landscape, we're here to guide you through it—with grace, empathy, and insight. >>>Make sure to like, review, and subscribe to get all the future episodes and help the podcast be found by others who would benefit the most. to help you understand the quality and security of your relationship /episode/index/show/communicateandconnectpodcast/id/30607408

048: Attachment theory and spirituality with Dr. Bill Senyard 03/04/2024

048: Attachment theory and spirituality with Dr. Bill Senyard Welcome back to The Communicate & Connect Podcast with your host, Elizabeth Polinsky. Today, we continue our special series on attachment in relationships with a highly anticipated guest, Dr. Bill Senyard, who brings 25 years of pastoral counseling experience and a deep understanding of attachment theory principles. Before we dive in, remember to take our to assess the attachment dynamics in your own relationships. In this episode, we'll explore the profound questions of "can I count on you" and "am I worthy of love," as we discuss how our earliest experiences shape our capacity for forming secure emotional connections. Dr. Senyard will guide us through the four quadrants of attachment theory—secure, anxious, avoidant, and disorganized—shedding light on how these styles influence our behaviors and relationships. We also delve into the intersection of attachment theory and spirituality, examining how a relationship with God can provide a sense of security and value, aiding in emotional self-regulation. Dr. Senyard shares insights into how spiritual attachment impacts interactions in our relationships, with a special focus on the unique challenges that military families may face. Through this journey, we'll confront the fear cycle, understand how to express hurt constructively, and learn the role of pastoral and EFT marriage counseling in fostering secure connections. Dr. Senyard will also introduce his , offering faith-based, scientific parenting tips catered to improving parent-teen interactions, a resource that's especially relevant to our military families listening in. Whether you're looking to strengthen your relationship with your partner, navigate parenting in the digital age, or understand the power dynamics within spirituality, this episode provides guidance to help you out. So tune in as we seek to communicate, connect, and grow together right here on The Communicate & Connect Podcast. >>>Make sure to like, review, and subscribe to get all the future episodes and help the podcast be found by others who would benefit the most. to help you understand the quality and security of your relationship /episode/index/show/communicateandconnectpodcast/id/30183623

047: Attachment theory in relationships with Dr. James Hawkins 02/05/2024

047: Attachment theory in relationships with Dr. James Hawkins Welcome to The Communicate & Connect Podcast, where we dive deep into the heart of relationships to uncover the secrets of connection and communication. I'm your host, Elizabeth Polinsky, and in today’s episode, we're joined by Dr. James Hawkins, an expert Emotional Focused Therapy Trainer. Together, we'll explore the world of attachment theory in relationships, especially through the lens of military couples. The very essence of attachment – our inherent need for close, intimate connections – can sometimes lead us into a dance of pursuit and withdrawal with our partners. We’ll delve into why 80% of couples fall into this relationshiip pattern and how our past experiences shape the way we reach for or respond to our loved ones. Dr. Hawkins brings a unique perspective to the table, teaching us how to navigate emotional signals, the effects of emotional flooding, and the importance of a "mission" focus in our relationships. In discussing implications for military coouuples, we discuss the invaluable role of rituals in maintaining connections despite physical distance and the strategy of visual and emotional connection during times of separation. For all you military couples out there, we understand the nuances of emotional regulation that your lifestyle demands. From turning down the dimmer switch of emotions during deployments, to flicking it back on to reconnect with family post-deployment, this episode aims to shed light on the delicate balance needed for a secure attachment bond – a cornerstone of resilient relationships. As always, remember that while our podcast is packed with valuable insights, it's not a substitute for professional therapy. We encourage you to take our attachment quiz (link below) to gain a deeper understanding of your relationship's dynamics and know when it may be time to seek counseling. >>>Make sure to like, review, and subscribe to get all the future episodes and help the podcast be found by others who would benefit the most. to help you understand the quality and security of your relationship /episode/index/show/communicateandconnectpodcast/id/29784298

046: Attachment Theory 101 01/01/2024

045: Different Types of Abuse in a Relationship 12/04/2023

045: Different Types of Abuse in a Relationship Welcome to The Communicate & Connect Podcast! In this episode, we have a vital conversation on our agenda: Different Types of Abuse in a Relationship. We delve into this sensitive topic due to an unexpected rescheduling, but it's a discussion that cannot be overstated in its importance. In our episode, we'll explore various forms of intimate partner violence, from the more apparent physical and emotional abuse, to the often-overlooked financial and digital dating abuse. We'll dissect the differences between situational partner violence and intimate terrorism and discuss why understanding these distinctions is crucial before considering measures like divorce. Statistics reveal that intimate partner violence and emotional abuse are alarmingly common, and we'll talk about the stigma faced by male victims and the prevalence of bi-directional violence, with a specific look at its impact in military relationships. We'll also scrutinize traditional therapy approaches and why they may have fallen short, leading us to the growing research that supports the use of couple therapy, especially emotionally focused therapy, for situational couple violence. We acknowledge the societal pressures and the risks of escalation that come with experiencing violence in a relationship. Our goal is to offer a haven for listeners to learn, seek support, and understand the reality of abuse, and the importance of professional help, whether through resources like the , , or our own . Remember, this podcast is not a substitute for therapy, but a guide to educate and support. If any content in today’s episode triggers you, please reach out for help from a professional. Prepare to learn, grow, and connect as we navigate the complex and troubling waters of relationship abuse. Stay tuned as we dive deep into the different types of abuse, their manifestations, and steps toward healing and healthier relationships. >>>Make sure to like, review, and subscribe to get all the future episodes and help the podcast be found by others who would benefit the most. /episode/index/show/communicateandconnectpodcast/id/28907038

044: Navigating Military Life as a Couple with Matthew and Shanon Morris 11/06/2023

044: Navigating Military Life as a Couple with Matthew and Shanon Morris Welcome back to another episode of The Communicate & Connect Podcast! I'm your host Dr. Elizabeth Polinsky, and today we have a very special episode in store for you. We will be diving deep into the highs and lows of military life as a couple with our guests, Shanon and Matthew Morris. Shanon is a Navy veteran, and Matthew is a former Marine, making them the perfect pair to shed light on this unique and often challenging experience. In this episode, we'll discover how they met on a dating app called Bumble and embarked on a first date that lasted for hours, setting the stage for a truly meaningful connection. From there, we'll explore their whirlwind romance, with an engagement within seven months and a wedding within nine months. But as military life would have it, their journey was filled with various hurdles and hardships, including deployments, a motorcycle accident, and the tough process of going through the medical board and discharging from military service. As we delve into their story, Matthew and Shanon will share how their military career took an unexpected turn, forcing them to navigate a period of transition together. Alongside this, they also faced other major life changes, like Shanon getting laid off and discovering they were expecting a baby. Throughout it all, they found strength in their motto, "fighting naked," which encompasses vulnerability, light-heartedness, and the ability to resolve conflicts. Join us as we explore the lessons they've learned along the way, including their advice on effective communication and the importance of aligning core values. Plus, they recommend a fantastic book for couples to spark meaningful conversations about finance, spirituality, and more. So, grab your headphones and get ready for an insightful and uplifting episode on navigating military life as a couple with Shanon and Matthew Morris. Let's dive in! >>>Make sure to like, review, and subscribe to get all the future episodes and help the podcast be found by others who would benefit the most. /episode/index/show/communicateandconnectpodcast/id/28493840