3987 Hear the Hurt Behind the Words
Create Your Now with Kristianne Wargo
Talking in marriage isn’t always easy. We come to the conversation eager to share what’s on our hearts—hoping to be understood and supported. But depending on your spouse’s communication style or mood, your words can land cold, or worse, cause unintended pain. Hear the hurt behind the words. Communication is the backbone of any marriage. Desire to be supported and encouraged by other like-minded women? Join us at the . You might assume this only matters in the middle of fights or uncomfortable disagreements. But hurt shows up in marriage far more often—and in ways you might not...
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3986 Where Do I Run First?
Create Your Now with Kristianne Wargo
When life gets messy — and let’s be honest, it always does — both parents and kids face the terrifying question: “Where do I run first?” It’s not just about geography; it’s about the who and what that can catch us when we’re falling apart under overwhelm and struggle. If parents don’t provide a safe fallback, kids often sprint toward friends, teachers, coaches, or romantic interests — places that might get them, or might just judge and reject them. This question strips parenting to its core responsibility: Are we raising kids who know our love...
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3985 Wear Your Smile
Create Your Now with Kristianne Wargo
Life isn’t a constant stream of roses and rainbows. More often, it’s weeds choking the garden and storms darkening the sky. But from those weeds and storms come blooms and skies painted with the kind of beauty you cannot fake or force. It's no wonder it's hard to wear your smile. Maybe you're struggling to smile today? I get it. Sometimes smiling feels like a mask, like pretending everything’s okay when inside you’re falling apart. Desire to be supported and encouraged by other like-minded women? Join us at the . But wearing a smile isn’t about life handing you perfect...
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3984 Set the Tempo of Your Life
Create Your Now with Kristianne Wargo
You don’t have to like where you are. Maybe your life feels stuck in a loop you didn’t sign up for. Maybe your step feels heavy or your spirit’s been whispering for a shift you haven’t dared to make. Wait though! You’re not trapped. Not by your past, your mistakes, or the weight of what isn’t working. You get to decide how you show up each day. You get to set the tempo of your life—from what you hold onto to what you courageously let go. This is the wellspring of real well-being: the space inside where choice lives. It’s not about pretending you’re perfect or faking a smile....
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3983 Live Like It's Christmas!
Create Your Now with Kristianne Wargo
It’s almost springtime, and right now, the last thing on your mind might be Christmas. But there’s a powerful kind of energy that Christmas brings, one that doesn’t just come from tinsel or twinkling lights. It’s that deep-down, can’t-keep-you-down spark of happiness and purpose that ignites even when you’re running on empty. Live like it's Christmas! Remember those Christmas nights? The ones where you stayed up late, exhausted but joyful, wrapping gifts, assembling toys, or setting up big surprises for your kids? Desire to be supported and encouraged by other like-minded women?...
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3982 The Walls of Comparison
Create Your Now with Kristianne Wargo
We build walls around ourselves, thinking they’re shields—to keep others out, to guard our weaknesses and doubts. But what happens when walls don't protect you, the walls of comparison that keep you locked in? When a dream or goal demands stepping outside your comfort zone, you face more than fear or uncertainty. You face the trap of comparison. Desire to be supported and encouraged by other like-minded women? Join us at the . We can peer at what everyone else is doing and forget what we alone bring to the table. Our gifts, talents, and unique value get left behind because we’re too...
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3981 Seek the Lord
Create Your Now with Kristianne Wargo
Too much of our lives are spent running our own race—scaling mountains, crossing rugged terrains we've never faced before—chasing after answers and strength as if we must do it all alone. We push ourselves to find solutions, to prove our worth, to reach the other side on our own terms. But what if you were to seek the Lord? What if the breakthrough isn’t found in our striving or in the distant horizon? What if the source of hope and peace is much closer than we realize? Desire to be supported and encouraged by other like-minded women? Join us at the . Isaiah 55:6 reminds...
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3980 Love with Tethered Hearts
Create Your Now with Kristianne Wargo
Discomfort in a relationship is often seen as a warning sign or a problem to be avoided. But what if those uncomfortable moments, like disagreements, frustrations, and misunderstandings, are actually the very gateways to a deeper connection and more rewarding marriage? Strip away the noise and love with tethered hearts. When you strip away the noise of everyday life and the tiny irritations that pull you apart, what remains is an opportunity: a chance to grow side by side, tethered heart to heart. Desire to be supported and encouraged by other like-minded women? Join us at the . Most...
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3979 How to Win Your Parenting Conversations
Create Your Now with Kristianne Wargo
Parenting isn’t about having the loudest voice in the room or the last word every time. It’s about precision, strategy, and understanding how every move impacts the next. You may be the expert, but be careful how you share the wisdom. Whether you want to admit it or not, you can learn how to win your parenting conversations better. In honor of the Olympics, I want you to think of your parenting conversations like the sport of Curling—where every stone you throw changes the "game," and success isn’t guaranteed just because you have the advantage. Desire to be supported and encouraged by...
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3978 Gain a Heart of Wisdom
Create Your Now with Kristianne Wargo
In the rush of modern life, it’s easy to lose sight of what truly matters. So much of our energy flows toward chasing someone else’s dream, trying to fit into others’ expectations, or simply surviving the relentless pace of day-to-day routines. Consider the timeless words from Psalm 90:12 ~ “Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.” What does it mean to number our days? It’s not some grim countdown or morbid fixation. Desire to be supported and encouraged by other like-minded women? Join us at the . It’s an invitation to live each day with...
info_outlineTalking in marriage isn’t always easy. We come to the conversation eager to share what’s on our hearts—hoping to be understood and supported. But depending on your spouse’s communication style or mood, your words can land cold, or worse, cause unintended pain. Hear the hurt behind the words.
Communication is the backbone of any marriage.
Desire to be supported and encouraged by other like-minded women? Join us at the Kairos FREE Online Community. https://createyournow.com
You might assume this only matters in the middle of fights or uncomfortable disagreements.
But hurt shows up in marriage far more often—and in ways you might not even recognize in yourself.
A tone, a pause, or a simple phrase can carry layers of unspoken pain. Ignoring it doesn’t help; it only builds distance.
Think about the following:
- Tone
- Breaths
- Phrases frequently used
- Place
- Interruptions
So, how can you listen beyond words and catch the hurt your spouse might be masking?
You must build a stronger bridge than the hurt itself.
The K.I.S.S. ~ Build a stronger bridge!
A bridge allows you to get from one side to the other.
Here are three crucial moves any spouse can make:
-
Look for the Emotion Underneath the Message
Words are just the surface. What’s brewing beneath could be fear, frustration, disappointment, loneliness, or exhaustion. Instead of focusing solely on what was said, tune into how it was said. Is your spouse's voice tight or shaky? Do their eyes avoid yours? Body language and tone give away the emotional undercurrents. When you pick up on that, you acknowledge their pain even if it’s not expressed directly. -
Ask Open, Non-Defensive Questions
When hurt hides behind words, assumptions kill clarity. Instead of jumping to conclusions or getting defensive, slow down and invite your spouse to open up. Simple questions like, “That sounds tough—what’s really going on for you?” or “I want to understand what you’re feeling—can you tell me more?” shift the conversation from blame to connection. You’re signaling you’re on their side, ready to listen without judgment. -
Validate the Feeling, Not Just the Facts
Hearing hurt doesn’t mean you have to fix or agree immediately. It means acknowledging the feeling as real and important. Saying, “I can hear you’re upset, and that matters to me,” goes a long way to softening defenses and making your spouse feel safe. When people feel seen emotionally, even difficult conversations lose their sharp edges and open the door to real problem-solving.
Marriage is messy because it deals with our rawest selves—our fears, vulnerabilities, and unmet needs. The words your spouse speaks are clues, not the whole story.
By learning to hear the hurt behind the words, you build a stronger bridge to understanding and grow closer even through the hardest talks.
So next time you feel a disconnect in conversation, don’t just listen—hear the hurt. Because that’s where healing and connection begin.
"Be present. Be incredible. Be YOU!!!"
#RelationshipBuilders #CreateYourNow #LoveAndMarriage
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Cover Art by Jenny Hamson
Photo by Canva.com
Music by Mandisa - Overcomer
http://www.mandisaofficial.com
Song ID: 68209
Song Title: Overcomer
Writer(s): Ben Glover, Chris Stevens, David Garcia
Copyright © 2013 Meaux Mercy (BMI) Moody Producer Music (BMI)
One Songs (ASCAP) Ariose Music (ASCAP) Universal Music -
Brentwood Benson Publ. (ASCAP) D Soul Music (ASCAP) (adm. at CapitolCMGPublishing.com) All rights reserved. Used by permission.