Namby Pamby Kids Today and Tough Love Leaders

Years ago I inverted the pyramid and promoted the best salespeople to become the branch leaders.  The existing branch leaders were shuffled around to new branches and they provided the grey hair and the credibility needed by the older rich clientele, but didn’t have responsibility for driving revenues anymore.  They were moved because if they had stayed in the same branch, they would have undermined the authority of these “upstarts” recently promoted.  The revenue generation responsibility was shifted from guys in their 50s to a 60/40 mix of younger guys and gals, taking the average age down to 35 years of age.  It was a revolution in Japanese retail banking.

Not all made the transition from selling to leading but most did.  This was the American Dream brought to Japan.  In this brave new world, a young woman could become a branch head at the age of 35.  That was previously unimaginable.  The impact on recruiting talented, bright kids out of the best universities was profound.  We were bringing on board young people who were incredible and they chose us over the bigger more powerful competition, because they saw a new future here in Japan for themselves that hadn’t existed before.

There were many reasons for instituting this revolutionary change, but one of them was the generational divide between the older male branch leaders and the younger people they were responsible for.  Like me, they had all grown up under the tough love school of boss supervision.  When this is how you were raised in business, it is extremely hard to break free of that and try something unfamiliar and different.  The intentions are always good and were to make the younger staff better.  The issue had become the style of communication to achieve that.  Straight talk, for many in my generation, means tons of critique, criticism and maybe even verbal abuse.  That is what we got from our bosses, so we are passing it on down the generations.

The younger people today though have a lot more options than we had.  They have compliance systems, staff surveys of bosses and a fundamental change in societal attitudes working in their favour.  The demographic decline in the numbers of young people means there is a strident war for talent going on, as companies try their best to find enough young people to hire.  The young are a finite resource in a sea of strong demand.  That changes the power equation substantially from when I was a kid. We were all assured we were quite disposable.  In the modern era, criticism has to be replaced with words of encouragement. 

Bosses have to adjust their expectations.   This sounds simple, but it is confronting.  I remember once calling one of my younger staff and I left a message to call me back. There had been some internal staffing changes and I wanted to assure them that everything would be fine.  I also wanted to gauge how they were was feeling about the changes.  No call back, but later I did see a text message to my phone that said they were “not mentally ready to speak with me yet”.

I don’t know about you, but for someone brought up on tough love, that statement seemed so soft, indulgent, entitled, namby-pamby, no guts and divorced from reality.  I tell you I had fire and sparks coming out of my ears and eyes immediately I read their message.  I was furious. I could never imagine I would say such a thing to the President of the company, if I were a junior employee.  If the President left a phone message saying “call me back” then I would drop everything and make that call as soon as I got that message.  We lead a different generation today.   In their mind, there was no problem with brushing off the President, because they weren’t ready to have that conversation.

I eventually spoke with the staff member and accommodated some concerns they had and all was good and resolved - for them. I wasn’t resolved though.  Maybe I should have just left it, but I couldn’t. I had to address their phone message to me.  This person was talented and I didn't want to lose them, so I knew I was walking on a tightrope.  My tough love upbringing had their “immature, naïve, stupid, unacceptable” comments stuck firmly in my craw.  I told them quietly, calmly but firmly, that if they ever got another message from me to call me back, then they should do so pronto.  If they couldn’t manage that, then they should find another President to work for. 

They could do that easily by the way, because they are in the zone of high talent demand.  Where do we draw the line today though?  I know the way I was raised in business wasn’t the most ideal and that I am a hangover from a bygone era, but I am still here and still leading. How much crap do we have to put up with from this younger generation?  I would guess a whole lot more, certainly more than we anticipate or want.  There is no finite answer, but clearly our method of communication is going to have to change.  It has to  become much more nuanced than anything we ever experienced from our bosses. 

I will try to keep Principle #17 in my mind, “Try honestly to see things from the other person’s point of view”.  Also, Principle #8, “Talk in terms of the other person’s interests”.  And I will definitely follow Principle #1, “Don’t criticise, condemn or complain”.  If I can keep the fire and sparks within me from burning the whole thing down, then there may be hope for me yet.