277: Three Steps to Ask for What You Want and Get It
The Elegant Warrior with Heather Hansen
Release Date: 01/31/2024
343: Speak Up with Judge Rosemarie Aquilina
The Elegant Warrior with Heather Hansen
In today’s episode, Heather Hansen sits down with her good friend and returning guest, Judge Rosemarie Aquilina, Michigan judge, author, and trailblazer best known for presiding over the Larry Nassar USA Gymnastics case. Together, they dive into Judge Aquilina’s newest book, Speak Up: Lessons in Trusting Your Instincts, and unpack what it truly means to embrace your voice, conquer fear, and stand in your self-worth. Drawing from her decades on the bench, her time in the military, and her role as a mentor for women, Rosemarie shares how we can turn fear into fuel, failure into wisdom, and...
info_outline
342: The Secret Formula to Being a Successful Negotiator-Ambition + Empathy with John Lowry
The Elegant Warrior with Heather Hansen
In today’s episode, Heather sits down with John Lowry, lawyer, negotiation coach, and author of Negotiation Made Simple, to uncover what it really takes to become a confident, effective negotiator. John’s experience as a professor at Pepperdine University’s renowned Straus Institute for Dispute Resolution, CEO of The Lowry Group, and consultant to major organizations gives him a unique lens into the psychology and strategy behind every great deal. Together, Heather and John explore how mastering negotiation isn’t just about tactics; it’s about managing yourself, understanding others,...
info_outline
341: Designing Your Home and Your Life. How to Use Design Principles to Get What You Want
The Elegant Warrior with Heather Hansen
In today’s episode, Heather sits down with award-winning interior designer Manuella Moreira, founder of Manuella Moreira Interiors, to talk about what it really means to advocate for yourself in business, creativity, and life. From her leap of faith leaving a stable job to launching her own design studio, to building a media presence with features in Forbes, The New York Times, and Architectural Digest, Manuella shares how trusting your intuition and showing up with courage can open the doors you’ve been waiting for. Together, Heather and Manuella explore how self-advocacy, boundaries, and...
info_outline
340: How to Advocate for Yourself at Work. Step 3-Master the Ask
The Elegant Warrior with Heather Hansen
In today’s episode, Heather wraps up her three-part series on how to advocate for yourself at work and this one’s all about the magic moment: mastering the art of the ask. If you’ve ever hesitated to ask for what you want because you weren’t sure how to do it gracefully, persuasively, or confidently, this episode is for you. Heather breaks down what true charisma really means (it’s not about being flashy or loud!) and how you can use empathy, storytelling, and the right tone to inspire others to say yes. With powerful stories, evidence-based research, and step-by-step guidance,...
info_outline
339: How to Advocate for Yourself at Work. Step 2-Ask for What You Want Out Loud and With Delight
The Elegant Warrior with Heather Hansen
In this second episode of Heather’s three-part series on how to advocate for yourself at work, she dives into one of the most transformative steps: asking for what you want out loud and with delight. Building on the foundation from Part 1 (“Know What You Want”), Heather explores why choice and energy are everything when it comes to advocating effectively. Asking for what you want isn’t just about words—it’s about how you feel when you ask. From her years as a trial attorney to her experience coaching clients, Heather reveals how shifting your beliefs can transform your results,...
info_outline
338: How to Advocate for Yourself at Work-the 3 Steps that Work. Step 1-Know What You Want
The Elegant Warrior with Heather Hansen
In today’s episode, Heather kicks off a special three-part series on how to advocate for yourself at work, whether you’re seeking a raise, a promotion, or a new opportunity. Advocacy isn’t just about asking, it’s about asking in a way that makes you likely to get it. This first episode focuses on the foundation of self-advocacy: knowing what you want. Heather shares how clarity, specificity, and the courage to want what you want can completely change the way you approach your goals. Through real client stories and practical tools, she reveals why defining what you want is the key to...
info_outline
337: Your Extraordinary Life-How to Live It with Simone Knego
The Elegant Warrior with Heather Hansen
In today’s episode, Heather speaks with Simone Knego, author of The Extraordinary Unordinary You, about what it truly takes to build confidence, embrace your story, and live fully. From adopting three children from South Korea and Ethiopia, to climbing Mount Kilimanjaro, to co-hosting a podcast with her daughter, Simone’s life has been a series of extraordinary experiences that shaped her outlook on resilience, patience, and self-worth. Together, they unpack how confidence is not about being perfect, but about choosing to see yourself differently and taking small, brave steps toward...
info_outline
336: 3 Keys to Advocating Without Bragging
The Elegant Warrior with Heather Hansen
In today’s episode, Heather answers a powerful question from her Instagram community: How do I advocate for myself without bragging? This is a challenge so many of us, especially women, face. How do you share your gifts, your expertise, and your accomplishments with confidence and authenticity without feeling arrogant? Heather breaks it down into three core strategies that will help you shift your mindset and your approach so you can advocate with grace, clarity, and impact. In this episode, you’ll learn: Talk About the Thing, Not Yourself How externalizing your gifts makes sharing them...
info_outline
335: How to Teach and How to Learn with Dr Christie McMullen
The Elegant Warrior with Heather Hansen
In today’s episode, Heather sits down with Dr. Christie McMullen, educator, author, speaker, and leadership expert, to explore how learning truly takes root. With a 25-year career spanning high school classrooms, adult education, and leadership training, Christie brings a wealth of experience to the conversation. Her book, Learning Can Stick: A Guide to Make Every Learning Experience Safe, Logical, Fun, and Memorable, offers strategies for teaching and leading that apply far beyond the classroom. Together, Heather and Christie dive into why everyone is a teacher, whether you’re guiding...
info_outline
334: How to Transform Stress to Work for You with Dr Rebecca Heiss
The Elegant Warrior with Heather Hansen
n today’s episode, Heather speaks with Rebecca Heiss, evolutionary biologist, speaker, and author of Springboard: Transform Stress to Work for You. Rebecca shares her groundbreaking perspective on stress, not as something to eliminate, but as a force you can reframe and harness. With her Fearless Stress Formula, she teaches how to stop fighting stress and instead use it as fuel for growth, resilience, and meaning. Rebecca’s journey spans science, entrepreneurship, and personal challenge from founding an ice cream company to leading discomfort challenges and building communities. Together,...
info_outlineAdvocating is overcoming doubts and building beliefs. Ultimately, it’s the ability to ask for what you want and get it, over and over again. After 25 years of studying the art of advocacy, Heather Hansen has identified three simple steps to ask for what you want and get it.
1-Know what you want.
2-Ask for it, out loud and with delight.
3-Master the art of the ask.
In this episode, you’ll learn the specifics of all three steps. And you’ll walk away with the ability to ask for what you want–and get it.
If you want help with these 3 steps, you can get free access to the exercises that will help you to see other perspectives. The ability to do so will help you with all 3 steps. You can access those exercises here.
And if you want to own the magic of these three steps, you could join The Self Advocacy School. The opportunity to be a Founding Member will be over at the end of February, so this is your chance to get what you want, over and over again. Find out more here.
And now, in this episode you’ll learn more about:
- Advocacy and knowing what you want. (0:02)
- the definitions of advocacy
- Advocating is about asking for what you want and getting it, whether in personal or professional settings.
- How being unsure of what you want leads to paralysis and a lack of clarity in career or personal goals.
- Heather’s personal growth and career development. (4:30)
- Heather’s experience of transitioning from trial attorney to coach, highlighting the importance of practicing and being willing to make mistakes in discovering one's true desires.
- Finding and asking for what you want in life. (7:49)
- The difference between “leaping” and “creeping” to what you want.
- How Heather crept into her new career by experimenting with different roles while still maintaining her full-time job as an attorney.
- The importance of asking for what you want directly and with delight, rather than relying on manifesting or giving what you want to receive.
- Recognize the common mistake of trying to prove oneself by doing extra work, rather than simply asking for what you want.
- The importance of asking with delight. (12:27)
- Ask with delight to increase the likelihood of getting what you want.
- Advocacy skills for personal and professional growth. (15:58)
- Understand the importance of mastering the art of the ask, which involves understanding and addressing the needs and perspectives of one's jury.
- Reception skills are key to advocacy, as they involve listening and figuring out what the “jury” wants and needs, and then speaking to that perspective in a way that changes their beliefs.
Join The Self Advocacy School before February 14th to become a founding member: https://advocatetowin.com/self-advocacy-school/
Stay Connected with Heather:
- Schedule a call with Heather: https://advocatetowin.com/contact/
- Follow Heather on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/anelegantwarrior/
- Website: https://advocatetowin.com/