ERP 438: How To Develop More Resilience In Relationship — An Interview With Charisse Cooke
Empowered Relationship Podcast: Your Relationship Resource And Guide
Release Date: 08/20/2024
Empowered Relationship Podcast: Your Relationship Resource And Guide
Ever notice that it’s not the everyday conversations or simple disagreements that shape the quality of a relationship—it’s those high-stakes moments, the tough talks that feel risky and uncomfortable, that truly define the connection. Far too often, we skirt around what really needs to be said, trading short-term relief for long-term regret. Whether it’s at work or at home, these avoided discussions can lead to resentment, disconnection, and a sense of self-abandonment. In this episode, listeners will dive deep into understanding why we tend to avoid these “last 8%” conversations,...
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Are you chasing every gold star, climbing every ladder, and nailing every “right” mark—only to find yourself missing out on real fulfillment and meaningful connection? The relentless pursuit of achievement can sometimes leave us feeling lonely, disconnected from ourselves, and trapped in relationships that don’t truly nourish our hearts. When ambition runs amok, the cost may be far greater than just burnout or missed vacation days—it can lead to self-abandonment and relationships that feel more like a cage than a home. In this episode, you’ll discover how overachievement and...
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Why do the smallest disagreements with loved ones sometimes feel like the fiercest battles? Conflict in relationships often spirals into unproductive cycles of attack and defense, leaving us stuck, misunderstood, and further apart from the connection we crave. We rush to defend, strategize, and fix—yet rarely pause long enough to truly understand what matters beneath the surface. In this episode, listeners are invited to explore powerful strategies for breaking the cycle of reactivity and shifting attention toward curiosity, clarity, and genuine understanding. Through personal stories,...
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Ever feel like your to-do list is running your life and you barely have any energy left for what matters most—like connecting with loved ones or just enjoying the moment? In our fast-paced world, we often believe productivity comes from pushing ourselves harder, burning the candle at both ends, and tackling more tasks. But what if the key to a happier, healthier life starts before you even get to your goals and conversations—right in the foundation of your daily rhythms and body awareness? In this episode, you’ll discover why tuning into your body’s core needs is the missing link for...
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When was the last time you felt a sinking feeling just thinking about money? For many, money is far more than just numbers in a bank account—it's tangled up with our emotions, childhood experiences, and even our closest relationships. All too often, conversations around money get swept under the rug, leaving us to battle our financial stress and shame alone. But what if unraveling these hidden money wounds is the key to building stronger connections—with ourselves and with others? In this episode, listeners are invited to reimagine their relationship with money and begin addressing the...
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Navigating the complexities of family dynamics can sometimes feel like walking a tightrope—especially when relationships between parents and adult children become strained or even break down completely. Family estrangement is an increasingly common challenge that can leave everyone involved feeling isolated, misunderstood, and in deep pain. When communication falters and generational differences collide, how do we find a path toward empathy, healing, and growth? In this episode, listeners are invited into a heartfelt exploration of adult child-parent estrangement, its underlying causes, and...
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Many of us move through life repeating the same painful relationship patterns—feeling unsafe, unseen, or disconnected, even when we’re trying our hardest to “do everything right.” Invisible wounds from early experiences quietly shape the ways we love, cope, and relate as adults. Instead of recognizing these patterns as natural adaptations, we often turn the blame inward, not realizing that our attachment styles and protective behaviors are rooted in the body and nervous system as much as the mind. Real healing isn’t about forcing change or consuming endless self-help advice—it’s...
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Are you letting anxiety and the need to play it safe hold you hostage in your relationships and personal growth? Too often, fear—of rejection, failure, or the unknown—becomes the invisible fence shaping our actions. Perfectionism, procrastination, overthinking, and the constant urge to avoid discomfort can shrink our lives, leaving us disconnected from our true selves and the people we care about most. In this episode, we explore how fear influences perfectionism, anxiety, and avoidance in our relationships and daily lives. Discover compassionate approaches to working with...
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Feeling unseen and misunderstood in your closest relationship can be one of the loneliest experiences, even when surrounded by family and friends. It's not uncommon for couples to fall into patterns of projection, reactivity, and defensiveness, leaving genuine intimacy and deep connection feeling just out of reach. How do we move from these cycles of blame and distance towards the kind of secure, transformative partnership that brings true accompaniment, dignity, and joy? In this episode, you are invited to slow down and explore new pathways to presence and connection. Through practical tools,...
info_outlineNavigating the complex terrain of romantic relationships can often feel like walking through a maze with no clear exit in sight. Fear, disguised as stress or anger, can become an invisible barrier that hampers our ability to foster intimate connections and develop relational skills. But what if we understood our deepest fears, attachment styles, and the ways we can reclaim our emotional maturity and personal empowerment within our relationships? Imagine transforming stress and conflict into opportunities for deeper connection and understanding.
In this episode, we delve deeply into the complexities of attachment styles and their impact on relationships. Discover how different attachment styles manifest fear and the importance of recognizing these patterns in both yourself and your partner. We discuss practical strategies for managing negative thoughts, the role of nonverbal communication, and the power of physical touch in creating a secure bond. Furthermore, understand how emotional regulation, personal empowerment, and vulnerability can transform relationship dynamics.
Charisse Cooke, an attachment-based psychotherapist and author, brings over twenty years of experience in relationship dynamics. With 7000+ clinical hours, including roles in three clinical facilities and private practice in London, she specializes in understanding relationship patterns. Rooted in adult attachment theory, her compassionate approach aims to transform relational dynamics. Through online courses and social media, Charisse educates on fostering secure, authentic connections, empowering individuals to mend relationships, and building emotional resilience.
Check out the transcript of this episode on Dr. Jessica Higgin's website.
In this episode
6:00 From fascination to practice: Charisse Cooke’s journey in understanding relationships.
8:55 The power of embracing acceptance and curiosity in relationships rather than immediately viewing unexpected situations as problems.
11:55 Balancing active participation and surrender in relationships.
16:08 Navigating fear and control in committed relationships.
22:03 Strategies for avoidant attachments and building secure bonds.
35:48 Cultivating emotional resilience: Balancing immediate and long-term regulation strategies.
Mentioned
10 New Behaviours That Will Transform Your Relationship in Under 10 Weeks (course link)
ERP 410: What Are the Signs of Emotional Immaturity in Relationship?
Shifting Criticism For Connected Communication
Connect with Charisse Cooke
Websites: charissecooke.com
YouTube: youtube.com/channel/UCsTpiVcJCs65GYnITSkSAbQ?
Instagram: instagram.com/charissecooke
LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/charisse-cooke-08157845
Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins
Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship
Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins
Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts/
Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation
LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins
Twitter: @DrJessHiggins
Website: drjessicahiggins.com
Email: jessica@drjessicahiggins.com
If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the “Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins” button here.
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