ERP 468: How to Use a Trauma-Informed Approach for Repair in Relationship — An Interview with Esin Pinarli
Empowered Relationship Podcast: Your Relationship Resource And Guide
Release Date: 03/18/2025
Empowered Relationship Podcast: Your Relationship Resource And Guide
About this Episode Are you stuck in the cycle of trying to control everything in your relationship, only to find yourself drifting further away from the connection and harmony you truly crave? Sometimes, the harder we try to make things “right,” the more we lose sight of what makes love resilient, joyful, and honest. The truth is, love isn’t about micromanaging or enforcing your idea of perfection—it’s about learning to ride life’s unpredictable waves with trust, acceptance, and a willingness to let go. In this episode, listeners are invited to explore how letting go of control and...
info_outlineEmpowered Relationship Podcast: Your Relationship Resource And Guide
About this Episode Grief can strike when we least expect it, turning our world upside down and reshaping the very foundation of our relationships. When couples encounter loss—whether through miscarriage, infertility, or unexpected life changes—the path to healing can feel lonely, uncharted, and overwhelming. Even the closest partnerships can struggle to find the words, understanding, or comfort needed to move forward together. How do we navigate personal pain while remaining present for each other? Can couples truly heal side by side, even when their experiences of grief are so different?...
info_outlineEmpowered Relationship Podcast: Your Relationship Resource And Guide
About this Episode Are you and your partner living your best shared life, or just navigating the daily grind side-by-side? Many couples get caught up in routines, letting old patterns and outside pressures shape their relationships by default. The possibility of building something inspired by both partners’ deepest dreams and values can feel elusive, especially when life’s challenges, stresses, or feelings of being stuck appear insurmountable. In this episode, listeners are guided through a transformative approach to co-creating a shared future with their significant other. The...
info_outlineEmpowered Relationship Podcast: Your Relationship Resource And Guide
About this Episode Passion and intimacy are at the heart of every thriving relationship—yet even the healthiest couples can find these sparks fading over time, or wonder if their desires are truly “normal.” For so many couples, sexual connection can become routine, tangled up in old beliefs, busy schedules, and silent worries about whether you’re truly satisfied or doing it right. The search for authentic sexual fulfillment often brings up more questions than answers, leaving many people longing for deeper, more meaningful connection but uncertain about how to find it. In this episode,...
info_outlineEmpowered Relationship Podcast: Your Relationship Resource And Guide
About this Episode Is achieving a secure attachment really the ultimate marker of relationship success or could this mindset be doing more harm than good? In the quest for intimacy and connection, many of us fall into the trap of labeling ourselves and our partners, clinging to the idea that “secure” is the only way to be. But what happens when relationships don’t fit neatly into these categories, or when past experiences have shaped us in ways that make security seem out of reach? The pressure to be “securely attached” can sometimes backfire, leading to shame, blame, and a sense of...
info_outlineEmpowered Relationship Podcast: Your Relationship Resource And Guide
About this Episode Many couples find themselves caught in unproductive loops of reactivity, defensiveness, and miscommunication, often rooted in old patterns and unhealed wounds. If you’ve ever felt stuck repeating the same arguments, or struggled to respond with empathy instead of reacting on autopilot, you’re not alone. Conflict doesn’t have to drive you and your partner apart. In fact, the way you handle disagreements might be the very thing that brings you closer together or pushes you further away. In this episode, you’ll discover practical strategies for staying close through...
info_outlineEmpowered Relationship Podcast: Your Relationship Resource And Guide
About this Episode Are you stuck in a cycle of blame and resentment, wondering why forgiveness feels so elusive even though everyone says it’s the key to inner peace? Many of us hear that forgiving others will set us free, but when we try to let go of anger or seek justice for betrayals and hurts, practical steps are hard to find and genuine relief can feel out of reach. What if forgiveness isn’t just about pardoning or forgetting, but something deeper—something that could pave the way to real healing and even deeper intimacy? In this episode, listeners are invited to re-examine...
info_outlineEmpowered Relationship Podcast: Your Relationship Resource And Guide
About this Episode Words have power. They can heal, but they can also harm when we wield them without fully understanding their meaning. In today’s world, the language of therapy is everywhere, filtering from clinicians’ offices into viral social media posts, heated arguments, and everyday conversations. But with this widespread use comes a hidden problem. When words like “narcissist,” “gaslighting,” or “toxic” are misused or weaponized in our relationships, they not only muddy honest communication—they erode trust, block growth, and can even do real damage to our connections...
info_outlineEmpowered Relationship Podcast: Your Relationship Resource And Guide
About this Episode Money isn’t just about numbers—it’s woven into the fabric of our emotions, relationships, and even sense of self-worth. Have you ever noticed how anxiety, stress, or even shame can surface when dealing with finances, both individually and in your most intimate partnerships? If conversations about money leave you feeling overwhelmed, you’re not alone. The underlying emotional stories and even traumas we carry about money can impact not only our bank accounts but also our ability to connect and thrive in relationships. In this episode, you are invited to explore how...
info_outlineEmpowered Relationship Podcast: Your Relationship Resource And Guide
About this Episode Is sex in long-term relationships destined to fade into routine, become awkward, unsatisfying, or quietly avoided? Many couples find themselves sidestepping desire, making silent assumptions, or repeating the same old script while craving deeper connection and renewed excitement. The outcome is often sexual boredom, miscommunication, and a growing emotional distance that affects the entire relationship. What if the key to lasting passion isn't just about technique? What if it lives in courageous, ongoing conversations about consent, desire, and our evolving needs? In this...
info_outlineAbout this Episode
Every relationship experiences moments of disconnection. These instances, often referred to as ruptures, can feel alarming, especially when they seem to happen all too frequently. But what if conflict wasn't something to dread but rather an opportunity for growth and deeper connection? The problem many face is not the rupture itself but the lack of repair. Learning how to artfully navigate these reparative processes can transform conflicts from mounting resentment to meaningful growth. Are you ready to redefine how you view and handle conflicts in your relationships?
In this episode, we delve into the heart of using a trauma-informed approach to repair relationships. Through a blend of therapeutic insights and practical techniques, the conversation sheds light on the dynamics of conflict and the importance of repair to foster genuine connection and intimacy. By tapping into our own inner resources and acknowledging our shared vulnerabilities, listeners can learn to transform challenges into powerful moments of healing, growth, and reconnection.
Esin Pinarli is a holistic psychotherapist and relationship expert specializing in IMAGO therapy, brainspotting, Internal Family Systems (IFS), somatic practices, and psychodrama. Through an integrative experiential approach, she helps individuals and couples suffering from anxiety, depression, addiction, codependency, trauma, and relational attachment issues to navigate life's challenges so they can become fully alive, supported, and whole.
Check out the transcript of this episode on Dr. Jessica Higgin's website.
Episode Highlights
07:16 Understanding rupture and repair in relationships.
10:11 The role of conflict and repair in intimate connections.
13:38 Navigating disconnection using a trauma-informed approach.
17:06 Recognizing trauma response patterns in relationships.
23:28 Importance of reflecting and regulating responses.
25:43 Mirroring and attuning as steps in the repair process.
30:54 Nurturing vulnerability for deeper intimacy.
34:27 Cultivating empathy and understanding within partnerships.
35:24 Collaboration and accountability in healing relationship dynamics.
39:20 Handling simultaneous activation in partner dynamics.
42:47 Techniques for achieving regulation and calm.
45:56 Exploring creative solutions in conflict resolution.
Mentioned
Evolve in Love (program)
Connect with Esin Pinarli
Websites: eternalwellnesscounseling.com
Instagram: instagram.com/esinpinarli_lcsw
Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins
Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship
Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins
Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts/
Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation
LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins
Twitter: @DrJessHiggins
Website: drjessicahiggins.com
Email: [email protected]
If you have a topic you would like it to be discussed, please contact us by clicking on the “Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins” button here.
Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship.
Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here.
Thank you!
*With Amazon Affiliate Links, I may earn a few cents from Amazon, if you purchase the book from this link.