loader from loading.io

ERP 487: Staying Close Through Conflict: Strategies for Responding, Not Reacting — An Interview with Alyssa Scarano

Empowered Relationship Podcast: Your Relationship Resource And Guide

Release Date: 07/29/2025

ERP 508: The Power of Collaboration: Building Trust and Connection in Love and Life — An Interview with Leslie Grossman show art ERP 508: The Power of Collaboration: Building Trust and Connection in Love and Life — An Interview with Leslie Grossman

Empowered Relationship Podcast: Your Relationship Resource And Guide

In a world that often glorifies rugged individualism, finding real connection and mutual growth with others can feel elusive, especially when it comes to our closest relationships. The secret ingredient might just be what so many overlook: genuine collaboration—both at home and beyond. What if the key to thriving wasn’t “doing it all yourself,” but learning how to truly work together? In this episode, you’ll discover how building circles of collaboration can transform your personal relationships, family dynamics, and even your broader social and professional connections. Through...

info_outline
ERP 507:  The Power of Attention: How to Access What Really Matters in Moments of Conflict — An Interview with Dana Caspersen show art ERP 507: The Power of Attention: How to Access What Really Matters in Moments of Conflict — An Interview with Dana Caspersen

Empowered Relationship Podcast: Your Relationship Resource And Guide

Why do the smallest disagreements with loved ones sometimes feel like the fiercest battles? Conflict in relationships often spirals into unproductive cycles of attack and defense, leaving us stuck, misunderstood, and further apart from the connection we crave. We rush to defend, strategize, and fix—yet rarely pause long enough to truly understand what matters beneath the surface. In this episode, listeners are invited to explore powerful strategies for breaking the cycle of reactivity and shifting attention toward curiosity, clarity, and genuine understanding. Through personal stories,...

info_outline
ERP 506: Regulate Your Body, Transform Your Bond: The Habit Science Behind Healthy Love — An Interview with Hadlee Garrison show art ERP 506: Regulate Your Body, Transform Your Bond: The Habit Science Behind Healthy Love — An Interview with Hadlee Garrison

Empowered Relationship Podcast: Your Relationship Resource And Guide

Ever feel like your to-do list is running your life and you barely have any energy left for what matters most—like connecting with loved ones or just enjoying the moment? In our fast-paced world, we often believe productivity comes from pushing ourselves harder, burning the candle at both ends, and tackling more tasks. But what if the key to a happier, healthier life starts before you even get to your goals and conversations—right in the foundation of your daily rhythms and body awareness? In this episode, you’ll discover why tuning into your body’s core needs is the missing link for...

info_outline
ERP 505: Money Wounds in Love: Healing the Hidden Stories Behind Your Spending and Saving — An Interview with Shari Rash show art ERP 505: Money Wounds in Love: Healing the Hidden Stories Behind Your Spending and Saving — An Interview with Shari Rash

Empowered Relationship Podcast: Your Relationship Resource And Guide

When was the last time you felt a sinking feeling just thinking about money? For many, money is far more than just numbers in a bank account—it's tangled up with our emotions, childhood experiences, and even our closest relationships. All too often, conversations around money get swept under the rug, leaving us to battle our financial stress and shame alone. But what if unraveling these hidden money wounds is the key to building stronger connections—with ourselves and with others? In this episode, listeners are invited to reimagine their relationship with money and begin addressing the...

info_outline
ERP 504: Loving Through Estrangement: How Couples Can Heal, Support & Stay Connected — An Interview with Dr. Rachel Glik show art ERP 504: Loving Through Estrangement: How Couples Can Heal, Support & Stay Connected — An Interview with Dr. Rachel Glik

Empowered Relationship Podcast: Your Relationship Resource And Guide

Navigating the complexities of family dynamics can sometimes feel like walking a tightrope—especially when relationships between parents and adult children become strained or even break down completely. Family estrangement is an increasingly common challenge that can leave everyone involved feeling isolated, misunderstood, and in deep pain. When communication falters and generational differences collide, how do we find a path toward empathy, healing, and growth? In this episode, listeners are invited into a heartfelt exploration of adult child-parent estrangement, its underlying causes, and...

info_outline
503: How to Feel Safe in Love: Healing Attachment Wounds and Building Secure Relationships — An Interview with Jessica Baum show art 503: How to Feel Safe in Love: Healing Attachment Wounds and Building Secure Relationships — An Interview with Jessica Baum

Empowered Relationship Podcast: Your Relationship Resource And Guide

Many of us move through life repeating the same painful relationship patterns—feeling unsafe, unseen, or disconnected, even when we’re trying our hardest to “do everything right.” Invisible wounds from early experiences quietly shape the ways we love, cope, and relate as adults. Instead of recognizing these patterns as natural adaptations, we often turn the blame inward, not realizing that our attachment styles and protective behaviors are rooted in the body and nervous system as much as the mind. Real healing isn’t about forcing change or consuming endless self-help advice—it’s...

info_outline
ERP 502: Beyond Fear and Control: Building Emotional Flexibility in Relationships — An Interview with Dr. Patricia Zurita Ona show art ERP 502: Beyond Fear and Control: Building Emotional Flexibility in Relationships — An Interview with Dr. Patricia Zurita Ona

Empowered Relationship Podcast: Your Relationship Resource And Guide

Are you letting anxiety and the need to play it safe hold you hostage in your relationships and personal growth? Too often, fear—of rejection, failure, or the unknown—becomes the invisible fence shaping our actions. Perfectionism, procrastination, overthinking, and the constant urge to avoid discomfort can shrink our lives, leaving us disconnected from our true selves and the people we care about most. In this episode, we explore how fear influences perfectionism, anxiety, and avoidance in our relationships and daily lives. Discover compassionate approaches to working with...

info_outline
ERP 501: From Projection to Presence: The Art of Seeing and Being Seen — An Interview With David Mars show art ERP 501: From Projection to Presence: The Art of Seeing and Being Seen — An Interview With David Mars

Empowered Relationship Podcast: Your Relationship Resource And Guide

Feeling unseen and misunderstood in your closest relationship can be one of the loneliest experiences, even when surrounded by family and friends. It's not uncommon for couples to fall into patterns of projection, reactivity, and defensiveness, leaving genuine intimacy and deep connection feeling just out of reach. How do we move from these cycles of blame and distance towards the kind of secure, transformative partnership that brings true accompaniment, dignity, and joy? In this episode, you are invited to slow down and explore new pathways to presence and connection. Through practical tools,...

info_outline
ERP 500: The Practice of Us: Living the Skills That Keep Love Alive show art ERP 500: The Practice of Us: Living the Skills That Keep Love Alive

Empowered Relationship Podcast: Your Relationship Resource And Guide

This episode marks an incredible milestone—the 500th episode of the Empowered Relationship Podcast. To celebrate, Dr. Jessica Higgins and her husband, Reid Peterson, sit down for a heartfelt and revealing conversation about what it really takes to cultivate a truly empowered partnership. If you’ve ever wondered why, despite your best intentions, emotional honesty and vulnerability can feel so risky—or why differences and conflict so often create distance instead of closeness—you’re not alone. The path to authentic connection is filled with challenges that test even the strongest...

info_outline
ERP 499: Regulate to Relate: Building Embodied Safety in Love — An Interview with Aubrey Aust show art ERP 499: Regulate to Relate: Building Embodied Safety in Love — An Interview with Aubrey Aust

Empowered Relationship Podcast: Your Relationship Resource And Guide

Ever feel like you know all the “right” things to do in a relationship, but when the moment comes, your body is flooded with stress, your voice tightens, or you just shut down? Many of us long for deep connection and trust, but when life gets real, our nervous system can hijack our best intentions. The invisible forces of old wounds, protective patterns, and the lightning-fast reactions of our bodies can make true safety in love feel just out of reach. In this episode, you’ll discover practical ways to bridge the gap between knowing and feeling safe and connected with your partner....

info_outline
 
More Episodes

About this Episode

Many couples find themselves caught in unproductive loops of reactivity, defensiveness, and miscommunication, often rooted in old patterns and unhealed wounds. If you’ve ever felt stuck repeating the same arguments, or struggled to respond with empathy instead of reacting on autopilot, you’re not alone. Conflict doesn’t have to drive you and your partner apart. In fact, the way you handle disagreements might be the very thing that brings you closer together or pushes you further away.

In this episode, you’ll discover practical strategies for staying close through conflict by learning to respond rather than react. You’ll hear about how early family dynamics shape our adult responses, why curiosity can be a game-changer, and why true empathy starts with self-compassion. Through insightful metaphors like comparing relationships to yoga practice or learning to slow down a speeding car—you’ll find tools to recognize when you’re becoming triggered, regulate your emotions, and open space for meaningful, connected conversations. Whether your relationship is feeling the strain of busy daily life or you simply want to deepen your ability to navigate challenges together, this episode offers actionable guidance for building lasting intimacy through the most difficult moments.

Alyssa Scarano, LPC, NCC, is the Founder and Clinical Director of The Collective Therapy & Wellness. Known for her empathetic and compassionate approach, Alyssa views her work as a profound privilege—an opportunity to be invited into the most intimate and vulnerable parts of her clients’ lives. Specializing in relationships, she is dedicated to helping individuals heal from childhood trauma, break generational patterns, and cultivate meaningful, authentic connections with others by first supporting them in fostering self-compassion.

Check out the transcript of this episode on Dr. Jessica Higgin's website.

Episode Highlights 

07:24 How family of origin shapes our conflict responses.

10:51 Understanding childhood defense mechanisms’ lasting impact in relationships.

11:52 Adaptive responses and personal growth.

15:25 Mindful resilience through yoga.

19:35 Impact of stress and daily life on relationship dynamics.

24:06 Mapping family history and trigger awareness in couples work.

28:51 Healing challenges and emotional triggers.

32:40 Relationship dynamics and challenges.

38:55 Managing emotions and setting boundaries when one partner does more emotional work.

41:43 Slowing down reactivity: practical tools for emotional awareness.

46:16 Concrete steps for repair and connection after conflict.

Mentioned

Shifting Criticism For Connected Communication

Connect with Alyssa Scarano

Websites: collective-therapy.com

Facebook: facebook.com/collective.therapy.wellness

Instagram: instagram.com/live.collective.wellness

Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins

Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship 

Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins 

Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts/

Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation 

LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins 

Twitter: @DrJessHiggins 

Website: drjessicahiggins.com  

Email: jessica@drjessicahiggins.com

If you have a topic you would like it to be discussed, please contact us by clicking on the “Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins” button here. 

Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship. 

Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here

Thank you!  

*With Amazon Affiliate Links, I may earn a few cents from Amazon, if you purchase the book from this link.