ERP 470: How to Get Off the Emotional Roller Coaster in Relationship, So That You Can Develop a Deeper, Lasting Connection — An Interview with Drs. Susan Thau & Sondra Goldstein
Empowered Relationship Podcast: Your Relationship Resource And Guide
Release Date: 04/01/2025
ERP 492: Riding the Wave Together: Finding Ease, Resilience and Connection in Love — An Interview with Daniel Miller
Empowered Relationship Podcast: Your Relationship Resource And Guide
About this Episode Are you stuck in the cycle of trying to control everything in your relationship, only to find yourself drifting further away from the connection and harmony you truly crave? Sometimes, the harder we try to make things “right,” the more we lose sight of what makes love resilient, joyful, and honest. The truth is, love isn’t about micromanaging or enforcing your idea of perfection—it’s about learning to ride life’s unpredictable waves with trust, acceptance, and a willingness to let go. In this episode, listeners are invited to explore how letting go of control and...
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ERP 491: Grief and Healing: Navigating Loss Together as a Couple — An Interview with Madeleine Garner
Empowered Relationship Podcast: Your Relationship Resource And Guide
About this Episode Grief can strike when we least expect it, turning our world upside down and reshaping the very foundation of our relationships. When couples encounter loss—whether through miscarriage, infertility, or unexpected life changes—the path to healing can feel lonely, uncharted, and overwhelming. Even the closest partnerships can struggle to find the words, understanding, or comfort needed to move forward together. How do we navigate personal pain while remaining present for each other? Can couples truly heal side by side, even when their experiences of grief are so different?...
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ERP 490: Co-Creating Your Future: A Guide to Dreambuilding Together as a Couple — An Interview with Mary Morrissey
Empowered Relationship Podcast: Your Relationship Resource And Guide
About this Episode Are you and your partner living your best shared life, or just navigating the daily grind side-by-side? Many couples get caught up in routines, letting old patterns and outside pressures shape their relationships by default. The possibility of building something inspired by both partners’ deepest dreams and values can feel elusive, especially when life’s challenges, stresses, or feelings of being stuck appear insurmountable. In this episode, listeners are guided through a transformative approach to co-creating a shared future with their significant other. The...
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ERP 489: Flow State and Sexual Connection: A New Dimension of Intimacy — An Interview with Emily Jamea
Empowered Relationship Podcast: Your Relationship Resource And Guide
About this Episode Passion and intimacy are at the heart of every thriving relationship—yet even the healthiest couples can find these sparks fading over time, or wonder if their desires are truly “normal.” For so many couples, sexual connection can become routine, tangled up in old beliefs, busy schedules, and silent worries about whether you’re truly satisfied or doing it right. The search for authentic sexual fulfillment often brings up more questions than answers, leaving many people longing for deeper, more meaningful connection but uncertain about how to find it. In this episode,...
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ERP 488: Should a Secure Attachment Always Be the Goal? An Interview with Hanna Basel
Empowered Relationship Podcast: Your Relationship Resource And Guide
About this Episode Is achieving a secure attachment really the ultimate marker of relationship success or could this mindset be doing more harm than good? In the quest for intimacy and connection, many of us fall into the trap of labeling ourselves and our partners, clinging to the idea that “secure” is the only way to be. But what happens when relationships don’t fit neatly into these categories, or when past experiences have shaped us in ways that make security seem out of reach? The pressure to be “securely attached” can sometimes backfire, leading to shame, blame, and a sense of...
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ERP 487: Staying Close Through Conflict: Strategies for Responding, Not Reacting — An Interview with Alyssa Scarano
Empowered Relationship Podcast: Your Relationship Resource And Guide
About this Episode Many couples find themselves caught in unproductive loops of reactivity, defensiveness, and miscommunication, often rooted in old patterns and unhealed wounds. If you’ve ever felt stuck repeating the same arguments, or struggled to respond with empathy instead of reacting on autopilot, you’re not alone. Conflict doesn’t have to drive you and your partner apart. In fact, the way you handle disagreements might be the very thing that brings you closer together or pushes you further away. In this episode, you’ll discover practical strategies for staying close through...
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ERP 486: Breaking the Blame Loop: Forgiveness as a Path to Deeper Intimacy — An Interview with Dara McKinley
Empowered Relationship Podcast: Your Relationship Resource And Guide
About this Episode Are you stuck in a cycle of blame and resentment, wondering why forgiveness feels so elusive even though everyone says it’s the key to inner peace? Many of us hear that forgiving others will set us free, but when we try to let go of anger or seek justice for betrayals and hurts, practical steps are hard to find and genuine relief can feel out of reach. What if forgiveness isn’t just about pardoning or forgetting, but something deeper—something that could pave the way to real healing and even deeper intimacy? In this episode, listeners are invited to re-examine...
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ERP 485: Misused Words, Misunderstood Relationships: How Therapy Speak Can Erode Trust in Relationship — An Interview with Dr. Isabelle Morley
Empowered Relationship Podcast: Your Relationship Resource And Guide
About this Episode Words have power. They can heal, but they can also harm when we wield them without fully understanding their meaning. In today’s world, the language of therapy is everywhere, filtering from clinicians’ offices into viral social media posts, heated arguments, and everyday conversations. But with this widespread use comes a hidden problem. When words like “narcissist,” “gaslighting,” or “toxic” are misused or weaponized in our relationships, they not only muddy honest communication—they erode trust, block growth, and can even do real damage to our connections...
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ERP 484: Unpacking Your Money Story: How Money Trauma Shows up in You—and Your Relationship — An Interview with Shannah Game
Empowered Relationship Podcast: Your Relationship Resource And Guide
About this Episode Money isn’t just about numbers—it’s woven into the fabric of our emotions, relationships, and even sense of self-worth. Have you ever noticed how anxiety, stress, or even shame can surface when dealing with finances, both individually and in your most intimate partnerships? If conversations about money leave you feeling overwhelmed, you’re not alone. The underlying emotional stories and even traumas we carry about money can impact not only our bank accounts but also our ability to connect and thrive in relationships. In this episode, you are invited to explore how...
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ERP 483: Flirting with Consent: Rewriting the Script on Sexual Communication - An Interview with Danielle Harel, Ph.D and Celeste Hirschman, M.A
Empowered Relationship Podcast: Your Relationship Resource And Guide
About this Episode Is sex in long-term relationships destined to fade into routine, become awkward, unsatisfying, or quietly avoided? Many couples find themselves sidestepping desire, making silent assumptions, or repeating the same old script while craving deeper connection and renewed excitement. The outcome is often sexual boredom, miscommunication, and a growing emotional distance that affects the entire relationship. What if the key to lasting passion isn't just about technique? What if it lives in courageous, ongoing conversations about consent, desire, and our evolving needs? In this...
info_outlineAbout this Episode
One common struggle many face in a relationship is the challenge of getting off the emotional roller coaster. The highs and lows, misunderstandings, and unresolved conflicts can create a cycle of emotional upheaval, leaving partners feeling disconnected and frustrated. But what if we could find a way to smooth the ride and create deeper intimacy? If you've ever felt caught in a whirlwind of emotions in your relationships, you're not alone, and there are ways to navigate this complex terrain.
In this episode, we delve into strategies and insights aimed at helping listeners break free from these patterns. With expert guidance, the discussion illuminates ways couples can enhance their emotional intelligence, communication skills, and conflict resolution abilities. By exploring both the individual and relational aspects of these dynamics, the conversation provides tools for transforming the way partners interact with each other. This episode offers a chance to learn how to nurture a relationship's foundation while navigating life's inevitable challenges, ultimately creating a more harmonious and enduring partnership.
Susan Thau, Ph. D., Psy.D., a licensed clinical psychologist, psychoanalyst, wife, mother and grandmother treats individuals, couples and families, working intensively with emotional states. Along with Sondra Goldstein, Susan studied in a consultation group with Alan Schore, becoming interested in attachment and affect regulation. Dr Thau began as a parent educator, later Kaiser Permanente, and eventually private practice in Los Angeles where she specializes in Emotionally Focused Therapy.
Sondra is a licensed clinical psychologist in private practice for many years in Los Angeles. She is a former Clinical Associate Professor, UCLA Department of Psychology. Past study with Allan Shore, PhD, enhances her understanding of neuro-psychobiology in the processing of emotion in couples. Her study of Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) helps in understanding emotional dynamics in couples therapy. Sondra is also a wife of 53 years, a mother, and a grandmother.
Check out the transcript of this episode on Dr. Jessica Higgin's website.
Episode Highlights
03:56 Understanding the framework of Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT).
09:39 Meeting the authors: a journey of professional collaboration.
10:51 The power of vulnerability and emotional connection.
15:36 Coregulation and the impact of presence in therapy.
18:09 Navigating emotional triggers and attachment styles.
21:44 Challenges of vulnerability and the role of the therapist.
25:54 The importance of repair and building resilience.
28:30 Acknowledging individual differences in processing.
31:45 Demystifying therapy: The role of the therapist as a stranger attractor.
34:12 Developing a secure base: The journey of earned security.
39:20 Processing stress: Sensitive emotional and aggressive responses.
41:15 Dealing with differences and building a strong relationship foundation.
46:10 The role of curiosity and connection.
49:16 Resources and guidance for relationship growth.
Mentioned
Living Love That Lasts (Youtube) (video)
The Roller Coaster of Emotion in Couples Therapy (*Amazon Affiliate link) (book)
Evolve in Love (program)
Connect with Drs. Susan Thau & Sondra Goldstein
Websites: susanthauphd.com
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