Libsyn Directory

ERP 502: Beyond Fear and Control: Building Emotional Flexibility in Relationships — An Interview with Dr. Patricia Zurita Ona

Empowered Relationship Podcast: Your Relationship Resource And Guide

Release Date: 11/12/2025

ERP 502: Beyond Fear and Control: Building Emotional Flexibility in Relationships — An Interview with Dr. Patricia Zurita Ona

Empowered Relationship Podcast: Your Relationship Resource And Guide

Are you letting anxiety and the need to play it safe hold you hostage in your relationships and personal growth? Too often, fear—of rejection, failure, or the unknown—becomes the invisible fence shaping our actions. Perfectionism, procrastination, overthinking, and the constant urge to avoid discomfort can shrink our lives, leaving us disconnected from our true selves and the people we care about most. In this episode, we explore how fear influences perfectionism, anxiety, and avoidance in our relationships and daily lives. Discover compassionate approaches to working with...

ERP 501: From Projection to Presence: The Art of Seeing and Being Seen — An Interview With David Mars

Empowered Relationship Podcast: Your Relationship Resource And Guide

Feeling unseen and misunderstood in your closest relationship can be one of the loneliest experiences, even when surrounded by family and friends. It's not uncommon for couples to fall into patterns of projection, reactivity, and defensiveness, leaving genuine intimacy and deep connection feeling just out of reach. How do we move from these cycles of blame and distance towards the kind of secure, transformative partnership that brings true accompaniment, dignity, and joy? In this episode, you are invited to slow down and explore new pathways to presence and connection. Through practical tools,...

ERP 500: The Practice of Us: Living the Skills That Keep Love Alive

Empowered Relationship Podcast: Your Relationship Resource And Guide

This episode marks an incredible milestone—the 500th episode of the Empowered Relationship Podcast. To celebrate, Dr. Jessica Higgins and her husband, Reid Peterson, sit down for a heartfelt and revealing conversation about what it really takes to cultivate a truly empowered partnership. If you’ve ever wondered why, despite your best intentions, emotional honesty and vulnerability can feel so risky—or why differences and conflict so often create distance instead of closeness—you’re not alone. The path to authentic connection is filled with challenges that test even the strongest...

ERP 499: Regulate to Relate: Building Embodied Safety in Love — An Interview with Aubrey Aust

Empowered Relationship Podcast: Your Relationship Resource And Guide

Ever feel like you know all the “right” things to do in a relationship, but when the moment comes, your body is flooded with stress, your voice tightens, or you just shut down? Many of us long for deep connection and trust, but when life gets real, our nervous system can hijack our best intentions. The invisible forces of old wounds, protective patterns, and the lightning-fast reactions of our bodies can make true safety in love feel just out of reach. In this episode, you’ll discover practical ways to bridge the gap between knowing and feeling safe and connected with your partner....

ERP 498: Turn Toward, Turn On: How Couples Grow Desire (Not Just Talk About It) — An Interview with Dr. Diane Mueller

Empowered Relationship Podcast: Your Relationship Resource And Guide

Why is it that talking about desire and intimacy with your partner can feel more intimidating than any other conversation in a relationship, even when you’ve shared years—or decades—together? So many couples silently struggle with mismatched libido, lost spark, or simply the discomfort of broaching sensitive topics about sex and pleasure. When left unspoken, these issues have the power to erode connection and joy in long-term relationships. If you’ve ever wondered why desire seems to fade, or why candid discussions about passion feel off-limits, you’re not alone. In this episode,...

ERP 497: Become the Family CEO: Build a ‘Family Bank’ and Lasting Wealth — An Interview with Lavaisha Davis

Empowered Relationship Podcast: Your Relationship Resource And Guide

Have you ever faced a family crisis only to realize that financial instability adds an overwhelming weight to an already heavy moment? Or maybe you’ve felt isolated as the “first” in your family to reach new professional heights, only to discover no one handed you a playbook for building true generational wealth. Financial challenges don’t just shake our wallets—they can ripple through our relationships, legacies, and even our sense of security and belonging. In this episode, listeners are invited to think beyond individual wealth and step into a bold new perspective: managing your...

ERP 496: From Old Patterns to Strong Partnership—Using Tiny External Shifts — An Interview with Laura Day

Empowered Relationship Podcast: Your Relationship Resource And Guide

Ever felt like you’re stuck in old relationship patterns, no matter how hard you try to break free? Or perhaps you find yourself repeating the same old arguments, feeling misunderstood, or cycling through self-doubt and disconnection from your partner. The truth is, long-term intimacy often brings hidden challenges to the surface, and many of us wrestle with how to unravel deeply ingrained habits that hold us back from experiencing truly authentic, safe, and thriving partnerships. In this episode, listeners discover how making tiny, targeted external shifts—rather than endlessly searching...

ERP 495: Play the Right Money Game Together: How Couples Balance Today’s Joy with Tomorrow’s Security - An Interview With Kali & Eric Roberge

Empowered Relationship Podcast: Your Relationship Resource And Guide

Money may not buy happiness, but the tension between enjoying life today and securing a stable future can leave many couples feeling stuck, anxious, or even at odds with each other. Are you and your partner finding it difficult to strike a balance between living for the moment and building a financially secure tomorrow? Navigating finances together can bring up deep-seated fears, old money stories, and conflicting priorities—making it a journey that’s as emotional as it is practical. In this episode, you’ll discover how couples can open up the conversation about money in a way that’s...

ERP 494: Designing Love That Lasts: 6 Principles for Lasting Connection — An Interview with Dr. Sara Nasserzadeh

Empowered Relationship Podcast: Your Relationship Resource And Guide

About this Episode What if everything you know about love is a myth—built on luck, chance, and hope? The truth is, many of us walk into relationships with big dreams of “happily ever after,” only to find that real connection can feel overwhelming, elusive, or even impossible to sustain. We use words like “respect,” “trust,” and “compassion,” but rarely stop to define what they truly mean for ourselves and our partners. Without a roadmap, couples often end up lost in confusion, miscommunication, and heartbreak. In this episode, you’ll discover a fresh, research-backed...

ERP 493: What Happened to Our Sex Life? Understanding What’s Going On with Me—and Us—in the Bedroom — An Interview with Dr. Kate Balestrieri

Empowered Relationship Podcast: Your Relationship Resource And Guide

About this Episode What happened to our sex life? It’s a question that so many couples and individuals ask themselves in silence, often with a mix of confusion, frustration, and vulnerability. Desire seems to disappear overnight. Intimacy becomes awkward or routine. Shame and self-doubt creep in, making it all the harder to talk about what’s really going on—let alone figure out how to reconnect. The problem isn't just about mismatched libido or busy schedules. It's about navigating the invisible scripts, societal expectations, stress, and even past wounds that shape our most intimate...

More Episodes

In this episode, we explore how fear influences perfectionism, anxiety, and avoidance in our relationships and daily lives. Discover compassionate approaches to working with anxiety—learning why fighting it doesn’t work, and how, instead, our willingness to acknowledge, understand, and even befriend discomfort can become a gateway to deeper connection and greater freedom. Through practical tools and real-world strategies like "uncertainty workouts," values-based action, and self-compassion, this episode aims to help you navigate the messy, beautiful process of showing up more authentically for yourself and those you care about.

Dr. Patricia Zurita Ona is on a mission to help people break free from ineffective, play-it-safe patterns so they can begin living rich, purposeful, and meaningful lives. A trained psychologist, she is the author of seven books and co-author of two more. Her expertise has led her to present workshops at both national and international conferences. She also runs a boutique therapy and coaching practice that specializes in the application of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) for anxiety. Passionate about her work, she delights in creating personalized resources for every client she serves.

Episode Highlights

06:03 The interconnectedness of anxiety and its impact on life.

09:07 The importance of accepting anxiety instead of fighting it.

10:02 Using values to guide responses and reduce anxiety’s control.

13:50 The need to tolerate discomfort in relationships.

18:53 Navigating fear of commitment and embracing uncertainty.

22:49 Building tolerance for ambiguity and uncertainty.

24:32 How avoiding uncomfortable emotions can increase suffering and relates to trauma and emotional regulation.

29:52 Values-based exposure and compassionate approaches to fear.

33:41 Developing micro skills for managing difficult conversations.

35:41 Integrating self-compassion and Wise Moves for anxiety management.

38:01 Practical resources, parenting insights, and closing reflections.

Your Check List of Actions to Take

Take a moment to pause with a deep inhale and exhale, noticing sensations in your body before engaging in difficult conversations or when feeling anxious.
Instead of fighting anxiety, recognize it as a protective part of your humanity and make room for it.
When anxiety arises, ask yourself what truly matters to you in that moment to guide your response.
Embrace uncomfortable feelings in relationships without avoidance, viewing them as essential for growth and authenticity.
Intentionally expose yourself to uncertainty in small, manageable ways (like trying a new restaurant or activity) to build tolerance.
When fear surfaces, actively choose actions that align with your core values—even if they feel difficult.
Treat yourself with gentleness during moments of avoidance, procrastination, or anxiety, recognizing your effort and courage.
When facing a fearful situation, pause and check in with your body and thoughts, then proceed with intentionality rather than rushing through.