Libsyn Directory

503: How to Feel Safe in Love: Healing Attachment Wounds and Building Secure Relationships — An Interview with Jessica Baum

Empowered Relationship Podcast: Your Relationship Resource And Guide

Release Date: 11/19/2025

503: How to Feel Safe in Love: Healing Attachment Wounds and Building Secure Relationships — An Interview with Jessica Baum

Empowered Relationship Podcast: Your Relationship Resource And Guide

Many of us move through life repeating the same painful relationship patterns—feeling unsafe, unseen, or disconnected, even when we’re trying our hardest to “do everything right.” Invisible wounds from early experiences quietly shape the ways we love, cope, and relate as adults. Instead of recognizing these patterns as natural adaptations, we often turn the blame inward, not realizing that our attachment styles and protective behaviors are rooted in the body and nervous system as much as the mind. Real healing isn’t about forcing change or consuming endless self-help advice—it’s...

ERP 502: Beyond Fear and Control: Building Emotional Flexibility in Relationships — An Interview with Dr. Patricia Zurita Ona

Empowered Relationship Podcast: Your Relationship Resource And Guide

Are you letting anxiety and the need to play it safe hold you hostage in your relationships and personal growth? Too often, fear—of rejection, failure, or the unknown—becomes the invisible fence shaping our actions. Perfectionism, procrastination, overthinking, and the constant urge to avoid discomfort can shrink our lives, leaving us disconnected from our true selves and the people we care about most. In this episode, we explore how fear influences perfectionism, anxiety, and avoidance in our relationships and daily lives. Discover compassionate approaches to working with...

ERP 501: From Projection to Presence: The Art of Seeing and Being Seen — An Interview With David Mars

Empowered Relationship Podcast: Your Relationship Resource And Guide

Feeling unseen and misunderstood in your closest relationship can be one of the loneliest experiences, even when surrounded by family and friends. It's not uncommon for couples to fall into patterns of projection, reactivity, and defensiveness, leaving genuine intimacy and deep connection feeling just out of reach. How do we move from these cycles of blame and distance towards the kind of secure, transformative partnership that brings true accompaniment, dignity, and joy? In this episode, you are invited to slow down and explore new pathways to presence and connection. Through practical tools,...

ERP 500: The Practice of Us: Living the Skills That Keep Love Alive

Empowered Relationship Podcast: Your Relationship Resource And Guide

This episode marks an incredible milestone—the 500th episode of the Empowered Relationship Podcast. To celebrate, Dr. Jessica Higgins and her husband, Reid Peterson, sit down for a heartfelt and revealing conversation about what it really takes to cultivate a truly empowered partnership. If you’ve ever wondered why, despite your best intentions, emotional honesty and vulnerability can feel so risky—or why differences and conflict so often create distance instead of closeness—you’re not alone. The path to authentic connection is filled with challenges that test even the strongest...

ERP 499: Regulate to Relate: Building Embodied Safety in Love — An Interview with Aubrey Aust

Empowered Relationship Podcast: Your Relationship Resource And Guide

Ever feel like you know all the “right” things to do in a relationship, but when the moment comes, your body is flooded with stress, your voice tightens, or you just shut down? Many of us long for deep connection and trust, but when life gets real, our nervous system can hijack our best intentions. The invisible forces of old wounds, protective patterns, and the lightning-fast reactions of our bodies can make true safety in love feel just out of reach. In this episode, you’ll discover practical ways to bridge the gap between knowing and feeling safe and connected with your partner....

ERP 498: Turn Toward, Turn On: How Couples Grow Desire (Not Just Talk About It) — An Interview with Dr. Diane Mueller

Empowered Relationship Podcast: Your Relationship Resource And Guide

Why is it that talking about desire and intimacy with your partner can feel more intimidating than any other conversation in a relationship, even when you’ve shared years—or decades—together? So many couples silently struggle with mismatched libido, lost spark, or simply the discomfort of broaching sensitive topics about sex and pleasure. When left unspoken, these issues have the power to erode connection and joy in long-term relationships. If you’ve ever wondered why desire seems to fade, or why candid discussions about passion feel off-limits, you’re not alone. In this episode,...

ERP 497: Become the Family CEO: Build a ‘Family Bank’ and Lasting Wealth — An Interview with Lavaisha Davis

Empowered Relationship Podcast: Your Relationship Resource And Guide

Have you ever faced a family crisis only to realize that financial instability adds an overwhelming weight to an already heavy moment? Or maybe you’ve felt isolated as the “first” in your family to reach new professional heights, only to discover no one handed you a playbook for building true generational wealth. Financial challenges don’t just shake our wallets—they can ripple through our relationships, legacies, and even our sense of security and belonging. In this episode, listeners are invited to think beyond individual wealth and step into a bold new perspective: managing your...

ERP 496: From Old Patterns to Strong Partnership—Using Tiny External Shifts — An Interview with Laura Day

Empowered Relationship Podcast: Your Relationship Resource And Guide

Ever felt like you’re stuck in old relationship patterns, no matter how hard you try to break free? Or perhaps you find yourself repeating the same old arguments, feeling misunderstood, or cycling through self-doubt and disconnection from your partner. The truth is, long-term intimacy often brings hidden challenges to the surface, and many of us wrestle with how to unravel deeply ingrained habits that hold us back from experiencing truly authentic, safe, and thriving partnerships. In this episode, listeners discover how making tiny, targeted external shifts—rather than endlessly searching...

ERP 495: Play the Right Money Game Together: How Couples Balance Today’s Joy with Tomorrow’s Security - An Interview With Kali & Eric Roberge

Empowered Relationship Podcast: Your Relationship Resource And Guide

Money may not buy happiness, but the tension between enjoying life today and securing a stable future can leave many couples feeling stuck, anxious, or even at odds with each other. Are you and your partner finding it difficult to strike a balance between living for the moment and building a financially secure tomorrow? Navigating finances together can bring up deep-seated fears, old money stories, and conflicting priorities—making it a journey that’s as emotional as it is practical. In this episode, you’ll discover how couples can open up the conversation about money in a way that’s...

ERP 494: Designing Love That Lasts: 6 Principles for Lasting Connection — An Interview with Dr. Sara Nasserzadeh

Empowered Relationship Podcast: Your Relationship Resource And Guide

About this Episode What if everything you know about love is a myth—built on luck, chance, and hope? The truth is, many of us walk into relationships with big dreams of “happily ever after,” only to find that real connection can feel overwhelming, elusive, or even impossible to sustain. We use words like “respect,” “trust,” and “compassion,” but rarely stop to define what they truly mean for ourselves and our partners. Without a roadmap, couples often end up lost in confusion, miscommunication, and heartbreak. In this episode, you’ll discover a fresh, research-backed...

More Episodes

In this episode, we explore how secure, nourishing relationships begin with understanding the implicit memories, sensations, and patterns that live inside us. Learn how to meet old wounds with compassion, honor the protective parts that once kept you safe, and gently build new internal anchors of stability and trust. Using tools like the Wheel of Attachment and the practice of “finding your anchors,” this episode offers both a clear roadmap and grounded encouragement for anyone ready to move beyond survival mode and experience connection that feels authentic, spacious, and truly supportive.

Jessica Baum is a licensed psychotherapist, certified addiction specialist, and Imago couples therapist with advanced training in EMDR, CBT, DBT, and experiential therapy. She founded the Relationship Institute of Palm Beach and leads a global coaching company supporting clients worldwide. Passionate about trauma, attachment, and interpersonal neurobiology, Jessica helps individuals and couples heal and reconnect. Her bestselling book, Anxiously Attached, has made her a respected voice in nurturing secure, fulfilling relationships.

Episode Highlights

05:55 How early experiences shape our sense of safety.

07:48 Implicit memories and relationship patterns.

11:09 The importance of somatic (body-based) memory.

13:14 Reconnecting with the body for healing.

18:42 Understanding and honoring protective behaviors.

21:40 Building trust in healthier relationship dynamics.

25:00 The essential role of anchors in healing.

26:06 Why healing requires relationships, not willpower.

31:43 Finding and cultivating emotional anchors.

35:05 The Wheel of Attachment: A nuanced approach.

37:45 Earning security through supportive experiences.

40:31 Moving toward fulfillment: Real connection and support.

Your Check List of Actions to Take

Slow down and take mindful pauses to help connect with your body and increase present-moment awareness.
Notice physical sensations during interactions, especially in moments of emotional intensity, to access implicit memories and attachment wounds.
Practice developing interoception—your ability to sense internal bodily states—to better understand your emotional responses in relationships.
Identify and honor your protective patterns (“protectors”) rather than judging them; acknowledge they were there to support you.
Seek out safe “anchors” or individuals who can offer emotional co-regulation and support your healing process.
Use the “Wheel of Attachment” framework to explore how your early relational dynamics show up in current relationships.
If you lack supportive anchors, resource from memories of secure figures (e.g., a teacher, grandparent) or pursue professional support.
Engage in relationships and healing spaces where vulnerability, witnessing, and somatic attunement are encouraged, facilitating earned secure attachment over time.