loader from loading.io

ERP 523: The Subconscious Patterns That Keep Us Stuck in Love — And How to Break the Cycle – An Interview with Riana Malia

Empowered Relationship Podcast: Your Relationship Resource And Guide

Release Date: 04/07/2026

ERP 538: The Agreements That Hold Love Together: What a Divorce Attorney Sees Couples Learn Too Late — An Interview with Diana Romanov show art ERP 538: The Agreements That Hold Love Together: What a Divorce Attorney Sees Couples Learn Too Late — An Interview with Diana Romanov

Empowered Relationship Podcast: Your Relationship Resource And Guide

Is it ever just one big betrayal that ends a relationship—or is it those little, silent compromises and unspoken problems that slowly unravel the love you built? Too often, couples find themselves at a crossroads, wondering when things started to go wrong and why the issues weren’t tackled before it was too late. In this episode, listeners will hear stories pulled straight from the front lines of relationship dissolution and learn how to recognize the warning signs before they escalate. Through real-life examples and expert insights, the conversation shines a light on why negotiating...

info_outline
ERP 537: The Relationship Mirror: How Dreams Reveal What We’re Not Seeing — An Interview with Dr. Bonnie Buckner show art ERP 537: The Relationship Mirror: How Dreams Reveal What We’re Not Seeing — An Interview with Dr. Bonnie Buckner

Empowered Relationship Podcast: Your Relationship Resource And Guide

Ever wonder why certain conflicts keep resurfacing in your relationships, or why you wake from a vivid dream feeling shaken without understanding why? Sometimes, the real roots of our struggles with loved ones aren’t just out in the open—they're buried in the deeper layers of our own subconscious. When we ignore these internal signals, challenges can feel insurmountable, and solutions remain out of reach. In this episode, listeners will explore how dreams and moments of inner reflection can act as a mirror, revealing hidden emotions and unresolved patterns that shape the way we connect...

info_outline
ERP 536: Beyond the Budget: How Couples Align Money, Happiness, and Meaning — An Interview with Lori Atwood show art ERP 536: Beyond the Budget: How Couples Align Money, Happiness, and Meaning — An Interview with Lori Atwood

Empowered Relationship Podcast: Your Relationship Resource And Guide

Money can be the silent partner in every relationship—often creating tension, stress, and confusion that can easily escalate into conflict. Beneath the numbers, every dollar spent or saved carries deeper questions about happiness, security, and the life we’re working so hard to build together. How can couples bridge the gap between financial security and true personal fulfillment, especially when their instincts and money habits seem worlds apart? In this episode, listeners are guided through the core foundations of financial well-being and shown how to transform money conversations from...

info_outline
ERP 535: When Walls Replace Boundaries: The Hidden Path Back to Connection - An Interview with Kate King show art ERP 535: When Walls Replace Boundaries: The Hidden Path Back to Connection - An Interview with Kate King

Empowered Relationship Podcast: Your Relationship Resource And Guide

Are you building walls—or are you setting boundaries? It's a question that goes to the heart of why so many relationships end up feeling distant or disconnected. In a world where emotional safety matters more than ever, knowing when you're protecting yourself versus shutting others out can make all the difference. Too often, our automatic defenses keep us from the kind of authentic intimacy and connection we deeply crave. In this episode, listeners are guided through understanding the difference between healthy boundaries and protective walls, how early experiences shape these survival...

info_outline
ERP 534: Why Emotional Safety Isn’t Just a Conversation—It’s a Nervous System Experience - An Interview with Dr. Monique Thompson show art ERP 534: Why Emotional Safety Isn’t Just a Conversation—It’s a Nervous System Experience - An Interview with Dr. Monique Thompson

Empowered Relationship Podcast: Your Relationship Resource And Guide

Feeling safe in a relationship isn’t just about talking things through—it’s about what happens deep within our bodies. When emotional wounds strike or betrayals occur, the impact is felt not only in the heart but in the nervous system, shifting how we experience and respond to our partners. Real healing goes beyond surface-level dialogue and requires us to understand how our physiological state shapes our sense of security, trust, and connection. In this episode, listeners are guided to rethink emotional safety as a whole-body experience. By unpacking the link between the nervous system...

info_outline
ERP 533: How Couples Unintentionally Trade Passion for Stability — An Interview with Dr. Bruce Chalmer show art ERP 533: How Couples Unintentionally Trade Passion for Stability — An Interview with Dr. Bruce Chalmer

Empowered Relationship Podcast: Your Relationship Resource And Guide

Do you feel miles apart from your partner—even though you still love each other deeply? Many long-term couples gradually drift into a “roommate” dynamic: life feels stable, the relationship is intact, but something vital is missing. Over time, habits and strategies designed to avoid conflict and maintain harmony can quietly diminish the spark, intimacy, and passion that once brought you together. In this episode, you'll discover why emotional distance often develops in otherwise loving relationships and what it takes to reconnect. Through fresh insights, relatable examples, and practical...

info_outline
ERP 532: Acceptance and Change in Love: How Couples Navigate Conflict and Connection - An Interview with Dr. Shireen Rizvi show art ERP 532: Acceptance and Change in Love: How Couples Navigate Conflict and Connection - An Interview with Dr. Shireen Rizvi

Empowered Relationship Podcast: Your Relationship Resource And Guide

Navigating the ups and downs of relationships can feel like learning a new language without a guidebook. When emotions run high, or misunderstandings arise, it’s easy to get stuck in frustration or repeat patterns that don’t serve us—or our partners—well. How do you ask for what you need, stay true to yourself, and keep the connection strong, all at the same time? In this episode, the discussion explores practical tools rooted in Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) that help you strike a balance between self-respect, relationship wellbeing, and getting your needs met. Listeners will...

info_outline
ERP 531: When Desire Feels Lost: Why It’s Not the Problem and What Actually Is — An Interview with Tarisha Tourok show art ERP 531: When Desire Feels Lost: Why It’s Not the Problem and What Actually Is — An Interview with Tarisha Tourok

Empowered Relationship Podcast: Your Relationship Resource And Guide

Desire isn’t always as simple as it seems. For many couples, the initial spark of sexual and emotional intimacy can dim over time, replaced by questions, misunderstandings, and the painful sense that something has faded or is “broken.” When mismatched desire enters a relationship, it can quickly become a battleground, leaving one or both partners feeling blamed, rejected, or disconnected—not only from each other but from their own bodies and needs. In this episode, listeners are invited to look beneath the surface of desire patterns and rethink how intimacy is cultivated over time. The...

info_outline
ERP 530: When Productivity Becomes a Barrier to Intimacy — An Interview with Israa Nasir show art ERP 530: When Productivity Becomes a Barrier to Intimacy — An Interview with Israa Nasir

Empowered Relationship Podcast: Your Relationship Resource And Guide

Are you caught in the race to do more, be more, and achieve more—only to find yourself feeling stuck, disconnected, and unfulfilled? In an age where “hustle culture” pushes us to optimize every moment, a quiet crisis is unfolding: our relentless drive for productivity may actually be undermining our emotional wellness and closest relationships. In this episode, listeners are invited to take a closer look at how toxic productivity seeps into our personal lives, from romantic partnerships to friendships, and even the way we relate to ourselves. The conversation dissects the difference...

info_outline
ERP 529: Unspoken Relationship Contracts: Why You Feel Resentful and What to Do About It — An Interview with Elizabeth Webb show art ERP 529: Unspoken Relationship Contracts: Why You Feel Resentful and What to Do About It — An Interview with Elizabeth Webb

Empowered Relationship Podcast: Your Relationship Resource And Guide

Are you stuck in a cycle of giving too much—or never quite feeling your needs are met—in your relationships? So many of us find ourselves trapped in unspoken agreements, repeating old patterns of imbalance, and wondering why our closest connections leave us feeling depleted and resentful. It's all too easy to slip into roles and routines that quietly erode intimacy, joy, and our sense of self. In this episode, listeners will discover the underlying dynamics of these "relationship contracts" and how they silently shape the balance (or imbalance) in our partnerships and friendships. Through...

info_outline
 
More Episodes

Are you living a life that looks great on paper, but feels like something's missing beneath the surface? You’ve climbed the ladder, checked all the boxes, yet relationships and real fulfillment seem just out of reach. The cycle of “almost, but not quite” can leave even the most accomplished individuals wondering why old patterns keep resurfacing and why true connection remains elusive.

In this episode, listeners will explore how subconscious beliefs, habitual thought patterns, and unresolved emotional baggage shape the dynamics of love and connection. Through practical approaches like interrupting negative cycles, clarifying desires and values, and learning to rewire internal narratives, this conversation offers actionable steps to break free from unhelpful relationship patterns and begin creating the kind of intimacy and fulfillment you truly crave.

Riana helps high-achieving women who’ve built a life they’re proud of in their career, family, friendships, and growth, but still feel stuck in the same old love patterns. Through her signature method, she helps them rewire the subconscious beliefs and recode the nervous system responses that have shaped their relationships for decades, so they can finally create extraordinary love that matches the life they’ve built.

 

Episode Highlights

04:01 Finding identity during life transitions.

08:31 Getting exactly what you ordered.

11:54 Rewiring neurology and internal beliefs.

13:01 Exploring therapeutic approaches.

17:24 Breaking negative thought patterns.

22:02 Accessing emotions to change behaviors.

24:39 Creating your vision board.

27:56 Shifting to positive self-talk.

31:44 Clearing out mental clutter.

35:04 Shifting mindset and frequency.

42:27 The power of forgiveness.

46:13 Steps to heal relationships.

 

Your Checklist of Actions to Take

  • Clarify Your Desires: Take time to specifically identify what you truly want in relationships and life, beyond vague wishes, by listing your non-negotiables and values.

  • Perform the Away/Toward Exercise: Write out everything you don’t want on one piece of paper ("away") and all that you do want on another ("toward") to bring awareness to your focus.

  • Wear a Rubber Band: For 72 hours, wear a rubber band on your wrist. When you notice negative thoughts, snap them to create an instant pattern interrupt and remind yourself to shift focus.

  • Redirect Your Thinking: When you catch yourself focused on the "away" list, immediately replace the thought with something from your "toward" list or its positive opposite.

  • Cultivate Genuine Gratitude: If struggling to generate positive feelings, ground yourself in something you are authentically grateful for in the present moment.

  • Serve Others: If feeling stuck, perform a small act of kindness to shift your emotional state and break negative patterns.

  • Incrementally Improve Your Emotional State: Don’t force a leap from low emotions to joy—focus instead on moving up one or two levels on the emotional scale at a time.

  • Release the Old Story: Set boundaries around retelling painful past stories to others; instead, focus conversations on new goals and dreams to reinforce a forward-looking identity.

 

Mentioned

Extraordinary Love Index™ (Free Diagnostic Quiz)

Brilliance Brunch (Events Page)

Relationship Map To Happy, Lasting Love  (free guide)

 

Connect with Riana Malia

Website: rianamalia.com

Facebook: facebook.com/RianaMalia

YouTube: youtube.com/@rianamalia

Instagram: instagram.com/rianamalia

TikTok: tiktok.com/@rianamalia121

Podcast: podcast.rianamalia.com