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ERP 523: The Subconscious Patterns That Keep Us Stuck in Love — And How to Break the Cycle – An Interview with Riana Malia

Empowered Relationship Podcast: Your Relationship Resource And Guide

Release Date: 04/07/2026

ERP 523: The Subconscious Patterns That Keep Us Stuck in Love — And How to Break the Cycle – An Interview with Riana Malia

Empowered Relationship Podcast: Your Relationship Resource And Guide

Are you living a life that looks great on paper, but feels like something's missing beneath the surface? You’ve climbed the ladder, checked all the boxes, yet relationships and real fulfillment seem just out of reach. The cycle of “almost, but not quite” can leave even the most accomplished individuals wondering why old patterns keep resurfacing and why true connection remains elusive. In this episode, listeners will explore how subconscious beliefs, habitual thought patterns, and unresolved emotional baggage shape the dynamics of love and connection. Through practical approaches like...

ERP 522: Fair Isn’t 50/50: How Couples Build a Financial Partnership That Works - An Interview with Heather and Douglas Boneparth

Empowered Relationship Podcast: Your Relationship Resource And Guide

Money isn’t just about numbers; it’s the silent language shaping intimacy, trust, and fairness in our closest relationships. Beneath the surface of budgets and bank accounts often lies a tangled web of beliefs, emotions, and unspoken histories that can spark misunderstanding, resentment, or even distance between partners. The challenge? Finding a way to transform financial conversations from battlegrounds into bridges of deeper connection. In this episode, listeners will discover how to unpack personal money stories, identify invisible patterns, and create a foundation for fairness that...

ERP 521: Resentment as a Mirror and What It Reveals About You and Your Relationship - An Interview With Katie Rössler

Empowered Relationship Podcast: Your Relationship Resource And Guide

Resentment is the silent killer of connection—creeping in beneath the surface, quietly eroding the intimacy and trust between partners. Too often, the frustration we feel in our relationships stems not just from our partner’s actions, but from deeper unmet needs and patterns we haven’t paused to examine. When left unaddressed, this silent disconnect can blossom into the so-called “roommate syndrome,” where couples drift apart, stuck in cycles of survival mode, logistical interactions, and emotional isolation. In this episode, listeners are invited to explore how resentment actually...

ERP 520: Why We Keep Repeating the Same Relationship Patterns and How to Change Them — An Interview With Dr. Molly Burrets

Empowered Relationship Podcast: Your Relationship Resource And Guide

Have you ever wondered why you keep finding yourself in the same relationship patterns, no matter how hard you try to change? It’s almost as if, despite our best intentions and awareness, we’re drawn to the familiar—even if it’s painful. The fear of uncertainty trumps the discomfort of what we know, leaving many stuck in cycles of repeated conflict, unmet needs, and unclear intentions. In this episode, listeners are guided through the origins of these repeating patterns, from early attachment experiences to later life trauma, and how they shape the template for adult relationships. The...

ERP 519: From Love to Leadership: Creating Alignment in Family Life - An Interview with April Eldemire

Empowered Relationship Podcast: Your Relationship Resource And Guide

Love alone isn’t always enough to keep everyone under one roof feeling connected and secure. Despite the dream of harmony and the promise of new beginnings, many families find themselves struggling with uncertainty, misaligned expectations, and recurring conflicts that love simply can’t resolve. Is it possible to create a sense of “home” where everyone feels seen, heard, and supported—without sacrificing your relationship or your own well-being? In this episode, listeners will discover why building a thriving blended family isn’t just about love—it’s about creating alignment...

ERP 518: When Stress Hijacks Connection: How Couples Can Use Stress to Grow Closer — An Interview with Dr. Rebecca Heiss

Empowered Relationship Podcast: Your Relationship Resource And Guide

Ever notice how the smallest trigger in your relationship—a tone of voice, a lingering look, or a forgotten chore—can suddenly feel like a five-alarm fire? The truth is, most couples aren’t fighting about the dishes or the laundry; they’re struggling against the undercurrents of stress, anxiety, and unspoken needs that simmer just beneath the surface. When these emotions erupt, it’s not just about the task at hand but the deep human urge to be seen, valued, and connected. Left unchecked, these survival-driven stress responses can turn moments of misunderstanding into cycles of blame,...

ERP 517: Pleasure, Pain, and Partnership: Navigating Pelvic Floor Health Together - An Interview with Dr. Sara Reardon

Empowered Relationship Podcast: Your Relationship Resource And Guide

There’s a silent struggle that many couples face—issues of pain, discomfort, or disconnection in intimate life that go unspoken and unattended. For so long, pelvic floor challenges have been seen as private burdens to bear alone, surrounded by stigma or confusion about where to turn for help. But what if we viewed these not as individual problems, but as shared matters that impact the whole relationship? Could better understanding and open conversation actually transform your intimacy and emotional connection? In this episode, you’ll discover how pelvic floor health influences pleasure,...

ERP 516: Conscious Love: From Reactivity to Responsibility in Intimate Relationships — An Interview with Christian de la Huerta

Empowered Relationship Podcast: Your Relationship Resource And Guide

Why do so many relationships, despite the best intentions, end up stuck in cycles of hurt, disappointment, or disconnection? We search for “the one,” hope for a soulmate to fulfill us, and cling to romantic ideals—even as we find ourselves repeating old patterns and feeling powerless when things get tough. The real challenge, it seems, isn’t just finding love, but learning how to nurture it consciously and responsibly. What if the secret isn’t about changing others, but transforming how we relate, both to ourselves and to our loved ones? In this episode, discover how to break free...

ERP 515: How Couples Can Rethink Time to Reduce Burnout and Strengthen Connection — An Interview with Michelle Niemeyer

Empowered Relationship Podcast: Your Relationship Resource And Guide

Are you constantly racing against the clock, feeling like life’s demands are pulling you in every direction—and yet, your own needs, goals, and relationships are slipping through the cracks? Burnout, overwhelm, and the tricky balance of work, family, and personal fulfillment are challenges that leave many people wondering: Does time own me, or can I truly shape how I live within it? In this episode, the conversation delves deep into how our relationship with time can be transformed from a relentless source of stress into a foundation for personal wholeness and relational strength. You’ll...

ERP 514: Measuring What Matters: How Awareness and Alignment Create Enduring Love - An Interview with Zoey Charif

Empowered Relationship Podcast: Your Relationship Resource And Guide

Ever wondered why, despite our best intentions, we keep falling into the same relationship traps? Or how two people can feel worlds apart even when they desperately want things to work? The subtle dance of self-worth, mutual respect, and compatibility often determines whether love thrives or fizzles out. Too often, we end up settling for relationships that slowly chip away at our confidence, hoping for change while ignoring the mismatch in values, traits, and emotional needs. In this episode, listeners are guided through a groundbreaking and practical approach for understanding the science...

More Episodes

In this episode, listeners will explore how subconscious beliefs, habitual thought patterns, and unresolved emotional baggage shape the dynamics of love and connection. Through practical approaches like interrupting negative cycles, clarifying desires and values, and learning to rewire internal narratives, this conversation offers actionable steps to break free from unhelpful relationship patterns and begin creating the kind of intimacy and fulfillment you truly crave.

Riana helps high-achieving women who’ve built a life they’re proud of in their career, family, friendships, and growth, but still feel stuck in the same old love patterns. Through her signature method, she helps them rewire the subconscious beliefs and recode the nervous system responses that have shaped their relationships for decades, so they can finally create extraordinary love that matches the life they’ve built.

Episode Highlights

04:01 Finding identity during life transitions.

08:31 Getting exactly what you ordered.

11:54 Rewiring neurology and internal beliefs.

13:01 Exploring therapeutic approaches.

17:24 Breaking negative thought patterns.

22:02 Accessing emotions to change behaviors.

24:39 Creating your vision board.

27:56 Shifting to positive self-talk.

31:44 Clearing out mental clutter.

35:04 Shifting mindset and frequency.

42:27 The power of forgiveness.

46:13 Steps to heal relationships.

Your Checklist of Actions to Take

Clarify Your Desires: Take time to specifically identify what you truly want in relationships and life, beyond vague wishes, by listing your non-negotiables and values.
Perform the Away/Toward Exercise: Write out everything you don’t want on one piece of paper ("away") and all that you do want on another ("toward") to bring awareness to your focus.
Wear a Rubber Band: For 72 hours, wear a rubber band on your wrist. When you notice negative thoughts, snap them to create an instant pattern interrupt and remind yourself to shift focus.
Redirect Your Thinking: When you catch yourself focused on the "away" list, immediately replace the thought with something from your "toward" list or its positive opposite.
Cultivate Genuine Gratitude: If struggling to generate positive feelings, ground yourself in something you are authentically grateful for in the present moment.
Serve Others: If feeling stuck, perform a small act of kindness to shift your emotional state and break negative patterns.
Incrementally Improve Your Emotional State: Don’t force a leap from low emotions to joy—focus instead on moving up one or two levels on the emotional scale at a time.
Release the Old Story: Set boundaries around retelling painful past stories to others; instead, focus conversations on new goals and dreams to reinforce a forward-looking identity.