When the Big "O" Doesn’t Happen: How It Feels on Both Sides

What happens when the orgasm just… doesn’t show up? In this week’s episode of Beyond Monogamy with Adam & Pris, we dive deep into the world of orgasms (and the lack thereof). From the awkwardness of faking it, to the insecurities people face when their partner can’t “finish,” to the myths surrounding male and female orgasms — nothing is off limits.

Adam and Pris get personal, funny, and brutally honest about their own experiences in the swinging lifestyle and ethical non-monogamy. They share stories of performance anxiety, distractions, delayed ejaculation, women who take a long time (or never) to orgasm, and the mental tricks that can get in the way of the Big O. Plus, they bust through common myths like:

• “Men always finish.”

• “If he doesn’t orgasm, he’s not attracted to me.”

• “Women orgasm easily during penetration.”

• “Toys mean I’m not enough.”

• “If it didn’t end in orgasm, it was bad sex.”

This episode isn’t just about sex mechanics — it’s about shifting perspective, communication, and celebrating pleasure in all its forms (with or without the finish line).

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Episode Highlights with Timestamps

• [00:02:00] Adam shares a recent play experience where a partner admitted she rarely orgasms — and why communication made the moment better.

• [00:04:00] Pris reveals how few partners have been able to make her orgasm, and the shift she made in openly sharing what works for her.

• [00:07:00] The story of a “gold star lesbian” partner and Pris faking it… until she didn’t.

• [00:09:30] Adam admits how distractions, stress, and even clocks in the room have blocked his ability to finish.

• [00:12:00] The impact of alcohol, drugs, and overstimulation on men’s ability to orgasm.

• [00:16:00] Myth-busting: “Men always finish” and the pressure behind it.

• [00:18:00] Myth-busting: “If he doesn’t finish, he’s not attracted to me.”

• [00:23:00] Adam’s story about lasting for hours at 19 and how cultural myths about “lasting forever” shaped his views.

• [00:26:00] Myth-busting: “If she doesn’t orgasm, I failed as a lover.”

• [00:28:00] Discussion on toys: helpers, not competitors.

• [00:34:00] Squirting ≠ orgasm — important distinctions.

• [00:38:00] Adam on the insecurity of thinking women only wanted Pris, not him.

• [00:45:00] Locker room talk, cultural machismo, and how bragging about “orgasms achieved” feeds insecurity.

• [00:50:00] The psychology of orgasm, fantasies, and why some men come quicker with new partners.

• [00:53:00] How shifting perception from “must orgasm” to “enjoy the ride” changes everything.

• [00:57:00] Call to listeners: Share your “when the Big O didn’t happen” stories for a future QUICKIE episode.

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Show Notes

Welcome to another wild and real conversation on Beyond Monogamy with Adam & Pris. In this episode, When the Big O Doesn’t Happen, we tackle one of the most common, yet rarely talked about, experiences in sex: what happens when someone can’t finish.

👉 We discuss performance anxiety, pressure, myths, insecurities, swinging lifestyle dynamics, and how to shift focus toward connection and pleasure instead of just chasing orgasms.

👉 Whether you’re exploring the swinger lifestyle, polyamory, or ethical non-monogamy, this episode offers laughs, relatability, and some practical reassurance that you’re not alone when the Big O doesn’t make an appearance.

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Where to Listen & Connect

✨ Website: www.beyond-monogamy.com
✨ Full Swap Radio: Catch us streaming every Thursday at 2PM & 7PM CST on FullSwapRadio.com
✨ YouTube: @BeyondMonogamywithAdamPris — don’t forget to subscribe (help Adam get his plaque 👀)
✨ Facebook: Beyond Monogamy 4U
✨ Instagram: @beyond_monogamy_4u
✨ X (Twitter): @beyomono
✨ TikTok: @beyond.monogamy (Pris) | @adam&beyond (Adam)
✨ Reddit: r/beyond_monogamy

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Support the Show

💬 We want your stories! Have you ever been in a situation where the Big O didn’t happen? Send us your story at www.beyond-monogamy.com or leave us a voicemail. We may feature you in a future QUICKIE episode!

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