Episode 223: Clinicians Corner - From Survival to Self-Compassion: Understanding Our Protective Behaviors

In this thought-provoking Clinician’s Corner episode, Clarissa Kennedy and Molly Painschab dive deep into the ever-popular term “self-sabotage” — and why they believe it’s not only inaccurate but potentially harmful in the context of food addiction recovery.

 

Together, they explore how behaviors often labeled as self-sabotage are actually maladaptive coping strategies, formed through years of survival. These are not signs of brokenness, but evidence of brilliance in navigating pain, trauma, and unmet needs. The duo discusses how using shame-based language like “chronic relapser” or “self-sabotage” can derail healing, and instead, offer curiosity, compassion, and nervous system awareness as more empowering alternatives.

 

This episode is packed with insight, real client stories, and powerful reframes that will resonate with anyone navigating food addiction, emotional eating, or recovery setbacks.

 

Key Takeaways:

• 🔁 “Self-sabotage” often reflects nervous system dysregulation, not moral failure — these behaviors were once adaptive strategies that worked to protect you.

• 🧠 Your brain prioritizes the familiar over the functional — even if the familiar thing hurts, it still feels safer than the unknown.

• ⛔ Terms like “chronic relapser” can shut down curiosity and growth — replacing them with language like “chronic ambivalence” invites exploration and self-kindness.

• 🌪️ Recovery often feels like pressing the gas and the brake at the same time — you want to grow, but fear, beliefs, or unprocessed grief can hold you back.

• 🛠️ Even "maladaptive" behaviors are skills — they were practiced over time. With intention and compassion, new habits can be learned the same way.

• 🔍 Behaviors like bingeing after a win, or striving for perfection, are clues — not failures. Ask, “What is this trying to tell me?”

• 👥 Connection is key — community and co-regulation help us see progress we can’t always witness in ourselves.

 

Clinician Gems:

• “There’s no such thing as self-sabotage — only unmet needs and unprocessed fear.”

• “Recovery takes courage, not perfection.”

• “We don’t erase progress with a slip. Practice doesn’t disappear.”

• “The goal isn’t a perfect streak — it’s the pattern of returning.”

 

We Want to Hear From You!

What landed for you in this episode? Do you resonate with the term self-sabotage — or are you ready to retire it too? Send your feedback, topic suggestions, or stories to: [email protected]

 

Transform Within Workshop: https://sweetsobriety.newzenler.com/courses/transform-within

 

The content of our show is educational only. It does not supplement or supersede your healthcare provider's professional relationship and direction. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified mental health providers with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition, substance use disorder, or mental health concern.