#120 Why Survival Mode Might Be Killing Your Relationships
Release Date: 09/20/2023
#164: How Attachment Shapes Your Faith, Family, and Freedom – with Dr. Todd Hall
LOVE IS FEARLESS
What if the key to spiritual growth isn’t trying harder—but learning how to feel safe, seen, and loved? In this episode, Doug and Janet sit down with psychologist and author Dr. Todd Hall for a powerful conversation about attachment, transformation, and the kind of love that reshapes your life. Together, they explore how our early relational patterns affect not just our parenting and marriage—but our relationship with God. You’ll learn: How to recognize attachment patterns that keep you stuck Why behavior doesn’t change until your nervous system feels safe How to...
info_outline
#163: Beyond Punishment: Practical Habits to Shape Identity, Not Just Behavior
LOVE IS FEARLESS
What if discipline isn’t about becoming someone better—but about learning to live from the truth of who you already are? In this episode, we continue our conversation on discipline—not as punishment or control, but as the sacred practice of forming identity through daily habits of love, truth, and presence. We explore how discipline aligns with our new identity in Christ, and how we help our children grow into that truth—not by force, but by faithfulness. You’ll hear stories of real formation—what it looks like in parenting, in marriage, and even in how we relate to ourselves. We...
info_outline
#162: Discipline Is Not What You Think: How Real Formation Replaces Control
LOVE IS FEARLESS
Every family is practicing discipline—even if we don’t realize it. But the question isn’t whether discipline is happening… it’s what kind of discipline is happening—and whether it’s forming fear, frustration, or secure, lasting maturity. Some discipline conforms us to the patterns of this world; kingdom discipline transforms us into the truth of who God created us to be. In this episode, we reframe discipline as the quiet, relational work of forming the soul—not controlling behavior. We explore how real discipline starts with us, flows through meaningful...
info_outline
Bonus Episode: Rooted in Kerrville – A Restoration Story from the Inside Out
LOVE IS FEARLESS
In today’s special episode, Doug and Janet share the story behind Rooted in Kerrville—a project born from their deep love of the Texas Hill Country, their partnership with Mercy Gate Ministries, and their heartache for a community forever changed by the devastating July 4 flood. This is more than a relief effort. It’s a long-term investment in soul restoration. When the flood hit, the physical damage was immense—but so was the emotional and spiritual toll. Local nonprofits like Mercy Gate are overwhelmed. Families are grieving. And pastors and helpers are exhausted, yet...
info_outline
#161 : The Three Instruments of Formation: How Atmosphere, Discipline, and Life Shape Your Family’s Story
LOVE IS FEARLESS
Every family is being shaped by a story, whether we realize it or not. The question isn’t if formation is happening…it’s what kind of formation is happening, and whether it’s rooted in fear or freedom. In this episode, we introduce The Three Instruments of Formation—Atmosphere, Discipline, and Life—and explore how they help create secure, connected homes where faith and maturity can take root. We also revisit the Three Doors framework and share how real families—maybe even yours—are living in stories of survival, striving, or freedom. Most of us...
info_outline
#160: Why Your Home's Atmosphere Shapes Your Child's Soul
LOVE IS FEARLESS
Episode Summary: Before a single word is spoken, we’ve already told a story. The emotional and spiritual tone we carry into a room—our atmosphere—is one of the most powerful instruments of formation in family life. In this episode, we unpack what atmosphere is, why it matters, and how it quietly shapes what our children believe about love, safety, identity, and belonging. You’ll discover how the Three Doors framework (Survival, Striving, and Transformation) shows up in the “air” of our homes and why peace-building—not pressure—creates the soil where souls...
info_outline
#159: All the Things We Say to God: A Conversation with Tanner Olson on Prayer, Parenting, and Poetry
LOVE IS FEARLESS
What if prayer wasn’t about getting the words right, but about being real? In this tender and honest conversation, Janet and Doug sit down with poet and author Tanner Olson, whose new children’s book All the Things I Say to God is helping families make prayer a natural part of everyday life. They explore Tanner and his wife’s journey through infertility and adoption, the power of surrender, and what it means to live a creative life anchored in faith, family, and honest conversations with God. You’re in the Right Place If… You want to raise kids who feel safe enough...
info_outline
#158: Parenting Adult Children: Is It Too Late to Restore Our Family?
LOVE IS FEARLESS
If your children are grown—or even moving back home—and you’ve just now found language for what it means to live loved instead of afraid… this episode is for you. Today, we’re responding to questions from listeners who’ve read the manifesto, heard the message at Network 220, watched , or started exploring Practicing the Art of Being Family. They’re asking: “Do these truths still apply if my kids are already out of the house?” And, "Is there still great hope if my children are already grown?" The answer is yes. Because you’re still a parent—but...
info_outline
#157: An interview with Robby Angle - A Conversation About Trusting Jesus In Everyday Life
LOVE IS FEARLESS
Today, we have the joy of welcoming Robby Angle, President and CEO of , to the Love is Fearless Podcast! Robby is passionate about helping people move from simply knowing about grace to living out their true identity in Jesus—with trust, freedom, and relational depth. Before leading Trueface, Robby pastored thousands toward authentic community at North Point Community Church. Now, he’s helping steward a powerful new resource called —an experience designed to move believers beyond striving and into a transformational life of trusting God. Also, is designed...
info_outline
#156: How to Raise Emotionally Healthy Kids in a Chronically Overstimulated World | with Sarah Boyd
LOVE IS FEARLESS
In this special episode of LOVE IS FEARLESS, Janet and Doug are joined by Sarah Boyd—author, child and adolescent development expert, and founder of . Sarah’s new book, Turn Down the Noise, offers a much-needed guide to raising emotionally healthy kids in today’s overstimulated world. This warm, insightful conversation explores the realities families face and the hope available when we slow down, simplify, and create a safe emotional atmosphere at home. You’re in the Right Place If… You feel caught between wanting to slow down and fearing what will happen if you do....
info_outline- You’re curious about building a different lifestyle to help you heal or restore a relationship because when you stop to think about it, the lifestyle you’re living is based on cultural values, and those values are not helping you enjoy healthy relationships.
- You’re starting a new relationship. You’re ready to admit that you don’t treat people who are struggling with kindness and empathy - and that’s a sign that you don’t really like yourself very much. You are sitting with the idea that seeing yourself differently will help you see others differently.
- You’re good at fighting, controlling, manipulating, staying quiet, not rocking the boat, avoiding conflict…you may also be experiencing worldly success…but your relationships are struggling…even your relationship with yourself.
We discuss how reading good books together gives us a word bank that pulls us out of survival mode into thriving mode. One of the distinct differences in our relationship is the conversations we share - specifically, what we talk about…and that we talk a lot!
Listen now and linger in these TAKEAWAYS -
- Survival mode will offer you a lifestyle. It will keep you busy. It may keep your house clean. It may keep your kids on the honor roll and going to church. But it will not benefit your relationships. Only love is a benefit to relationships. Not success. Love happens in a different part of your brain, and we connect with that part when we connect with each other.
- Survival mode is meant to keep us not dead. It’s not meant to bring us to life.
- We are created to thrive. Thriving is different from being perfect. When perfection is the goal, we get stuck in survival mode, afraid of messing up. When life is a struggle, connect with God and others…and experience all the bells and whistles of a whole new brain…and new relationships that teach you to like yourself because they don’t freak out when you struggle.