#120 Why Survival Mode Might Be Killing Your Relationships
Release Date: 09/20/2023
#145 Q is for QUICK to Reconnect and Repair
LOVE IS FEARLESS
You're in the right place if - you've ever wondered why your home sometimes feels like a battleground rather than a safe haven, and you long for more connection and peace. you feel stuck in cycles of fear, control, and performance in your relationships and want to learn how to build a truly supportive home environment. you’re ready to shift from focusing on “good” appearances to creating a home where everyone feels safe, loved, and truly supported. if you want to understand how to make quick and meaningful repairs in relationships, even when things go wrong, to build a culture of trust...
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#144 P is for PEACE, PATTERNS, and PARENTS
LOVE IS FEARLESS
We recorded this episode less than one week after Hurricane Helene ravaged the southeastern United States, knowing it would publish one day after the presidential elections. Devastating loss is all around. So is chaos. Fear has been eating our peace for lunch since this decade began. Maybe it's because what we're experiencing isn't really peace. Maybe it's pseudo-peace. Listen in as we share wisdom from Dr. Jim Wilder, Dr. Todd Hall, Dr. Curt Thompson, Jamie Winship and more. We start this episode with this working definition of PEACE: Peace is not just the absence of conflict; it’s a deep...
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#143: O is for OUT WITH THE OLD
LOVE IS FEARLESS
Once upon a time, gas stations gave you a choice - leaded or unleaded fuel. Now, the choice we make is now how unleaded do we want to be? If we pay more, we get cleaner fuel - which is better for our vehicles, but also better for the environment. We have this choice at home, too. We can either run on the fuel by design or fuel by default. By default, we buy the cheap stuff. Fear and shame get the job done. It burns dirty, but it doesn’t cost much - and it works. By design, we make a different choice. Love and truth are not cheap. They cost us time. They require that we...
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#142: N is for NUTRITIONAL RELATIONSHIPS
LOVE IS FEARLESS
We're jumping back into THE CURATED LIFE alphabet in this episode - marking places on the map of our new life in Christ in the Kingdom of God. You're in the right place if... you’re ready to make a change - not just in what you’re eating or how much you’re exercising, but you’re ready to look honestly at the stories you’re telling yourself and at the relationships that are having a significant effect on your soul. you feel exhausted by performance-driven living and parenting and want to create a home where love, acceptance, and growth are non-negotiable. you want to understand how...
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#141: "One of Us" - Embracing Our Shared Humanity with David Gregory
LOVE IS FEARLESS
We're honored to welcome David Gregory to the Love Is Fearless podcast today. David is a bestselling author known for his compelling storytelling and insightful exploration of human connections, including our connection to God. His upcoming book, One of Us, promises to explore profound themes that resonate deeply with our journey of living loved and fearless. Join us as we dive into a conversation about identity, belonging, and the transformative power of understanding our shared humanity. We highlight these quotes from this retelling of the gospel, set in current times, in modern-day...
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#140 M is for MARRIAGE, MONEY, and MYSTERY
LOVE IS FEARLESS
Today’s episode is about how the traditions of fear and law teach us to navigate marriage, money, and mystery–and how safe relationships and secure environments transform our distorted stories. You’re in the right place if… Your marriage is good. You have a good routine. You even have date nights built into your routine. But if you’re honest, even the conversations you share on date nights have become routine–and if you’re really honest, you wonder if there’s something better than a good routine. Your finances are in good shape. You’ve survived...
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#139: L is for Listening, Language, and Legacy
LOVE IS FEARLESS
The worldview of the state we grew up in significantly impacted our view of personal identity, worthiness, and purpose in life. Our worldview teaches us what to value. It also teaches us our language, including the words we use and the stories we tell ourselves. More than that, our worldview constructs our nervous systems, so even when we want to change, we can't--without supernatural intervention. You're in the right place: If you’re brave enough to admit you’re stuck. It's not that you don't fit it in--you do. You may even be successful. But the underlying stuff that’s nagged you for...
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#138: K is for KING, KINGDOM, and KEY CHANGE
LOVE IS FEARLESS
If you’ve listened to even a few of our latest episodes, you know we’re digging in pretty deep into Jamie Winship’s teachings about our God-given unique identity and his teachings about worldview. Why is identity and worldview important? Jamie reminds us that organized religion is very resistant to paradigm shifts, and he explains it this way. “We’ve exchanged the great commandment for the great commission. Instead of lovers, we’re theological conflict starters, with a goal of overpowering.” How we see the King determines how we interact with the King. How we see...
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#137: J is for JOY, JESUS, and TRUTH-TELLING
LOVE IS FEARLESS
says, "Transformation doesn't happen in a day. Transformation happens daily." And this is true, too: Conforming doesn't happen in a day either. Conforming to the patterns of our insecure attachments happens daily, too. Until it doesn't. Father is committed to our healing and transformation, friends. Our part is to let it happen. We get to keep putting ourselves in the way of faith, hope, and love. We get to keep on remembering that we are in the Father's keeping. Join Janet and Doug in this episode about the power of JOY, JESUS, and TRUTH-TELLING and linger in these TAKEAWAYS...
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#136 I is for IDENTITY, IMAGINATION, and INNOVATION
LOVE IS FEARLESS
Episode #136 is all about wiping the fog off the mirror and looking more clearly at our worldview. For a long time, "worldview" was a philosophical concept, but it wasn't very practical to us. This episode unveils the freedom we find when we admit there's more than one way to see the world. God doesn’t see us the way the world does. God doesn’t see the world the way we do either. Seeing ourselves from God’s perspective is a big deal. Seeing the world from God’s perspective is a big deal, too. How does God view me? That’s my identity – and He...
info_outline- You’re curious about building a different lifestyle to help you heal or restore a relationship because when you stop to think about it, the lifestyle you’re living is based on cultural values, and those values are not helping you enjoy healthy relationships.
- You’re starting a new relationship. You’re ready to admit that you don’t treat people who are struggling with kindness and empathy - and that’s a sign that you don’t really like yourself very much. You are sitting with the idea that seeing yourself differently will help you see others differently.
- You’re good at fighting, controlling, manipulating, staying quiet, not rocking the boat, avoiding conflict…you may also be experiencing worldly success…but your relationships are struggling…even your relationship with yourself.
We discuss how reading good books together gives us a word bank that pulls us out of survival mode into thriving mode. One of the distinct differences in our relationship is the conversations we share - specifically, what we talk about…and that we talk a lot!
Listen now and linger in these TAKEAWAYS -
- Survival mode will offer you a lifestyle. It will keep you busy. It may keep your house clean. It may keep your kids on the honor roll and going to church. But it will not benefit your relationships. Only love is a benefit to relationships. Not success. Love happens in a different part of your brain, and we connect with that part when we connect with each other.
- Survival mode is meant to keep us not dead. It’s not meant to bring us to life.
- We are created to thrive. Thriving is different from being perfect. When perfection is the goal, we get stuck in survival mode, afraid of messing up. When life is a struggle, connect with God and others…and experience all the bells and whistles of a whole new brain…and new relationships that teach you to like yourself because they don’t freak out when you struggle.