#130: C is for CONVERSATIONS

We’re recording this episode one month after the end of the holiday season - and as much as we all get excited about Christmas parties and family gatherings…most of the families we talk to are still navigating some confusing and maybe some painful relationship struggles that have carried over into the new year.

You’re in the right place if - 

• You come from a good family but your family relationships are some of the most challenging - or maybe most painful. You want to be a good family member and do the right thing but honestly, sometimes, family is the place where there are more accusers than defenders. 
• The conversations in your family of origin haven’t changed over time because the people in your family haven’t changed. The most emotionally unstable person gets to be in charge - or have the most influence. People still choose sides as a way of self-protecting or self-promoting. When you think about it, your good family has as many things in common with a gang as it does with an alliance.
• You’re hungry for people who can help you heal instead of simply winning an argument or being the star of the show at family reunions. You’re more excited about being transformed than being conformed to the patterns of your childhood that taught you to live afraid in the first place.

Your family matters because those relationships formed your identity - whether it is the identity that God imprinted in your DNA or not. If you’re being intentional about learning to live loved instead of afraid at this season of your life right now, learning to live afraid was what you learned first in your family of origin. 

The Curated Life alphabet will give you some new landmarks to put on your daily map - so you can build a life and a community that will impact and influence you with the love that reminds you who God says you are. Listen in as Doug and Janet talk about "family conversations" in the kingdom of God and linger in these TAKEAWAYS:

• Conversations will either transform us or conform us to the patterns of this world. Conversations are culture carriers. We learn who we are and what we value in the words we hear and speak - and the patterns we develop for how we exchange words with each other - or the patterns for how we avoid exchanging words with each other. 
• Safe, generative, deep conversations are one of the most defining signposts in a culture of love - and shallow conversations riddled with guilt, shame, bullying, sarcasm, and dismissive accusations are possibly the most recognizable negative cycles in a culture of fear.
• Conversations will either transform the world around us or conform the world around us. It is not the world that generates our conversations. It is our conversations that generate our world. 

In this episode, we suggest listening to others have safe, generative, deep conversations as part of your Curated Life. Susie Larson and Jamie Winship have some of the most transformative conversations we've heard. A few suggestions include - 

Discovering Your True Self As You Fight Your Fears

Believing What's True

This LOVE IS FEARLESS episode with John Lynch shares the power of PERMISSION in a Curated Life. Why Love Is The Only Weapon Against Self-Sabotage

Janet's book includes questions that build generative conversations. Education By Design, Not Default - How Brave Love Creates Fearless Learning

 

Doug read a selection from Jamie Winship's book Living Fearless to help you experience the difference between generative and formulaic conversations. 

Share today's episode with a friend and then share your considerations and questions with each other in a safe, generative, deep conversation. Together, there is great hope.