#167 - A is for Affections, Not Addictions
LOVE IS FEARLESS
What if renewing your mind isn't just spiritual advice—it's actual brain training? In this episode, we explore how attention shapes affection, and how the difference between affections and addictions determines whether your family is being transformed or simply managed into conforming to the patterns of this world. We're introducing groundbreaking work on faith and neuroscience (stay tuned for our full interview with him next month), and discovering how Philippians 4:8 is God's prescription for mental health—not toxic positivity, but actual neural formation. This changes...
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#166: We've Forgotten How To Live
LOVE IS FEARLESS
We've become really good at managing crises, but somewhere along the way, we forgot how to live. In this season premiere, we introduce what it means to restore the lost art of being family—creating homes where a hard life is experienced differently, in secure relationships. This isn't about behavior modification or quick fixes. It's about life cultivation. Whether you're a parent, grandparent, or anyone raising or influencing children, this episode sets the foundation for everything we'll explore together this season. In This Episode, You'll Discover: Why modern parenting has become...
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#165: Building a Life of the Mind: How Mental Freedom Transforms Family Life
LOVE IS FEARLESS
Summary What if the "practical" parenting strategies you're searching for require something deeper first - the liberation of your own mind? In this episode, Janet and Doug explore the third instrument of formation: LIFE - the intentional pursuit and savoring of ideas that are good, true, and beautiful. Drawing on research about manufactured mental captivity and personal stories about breaking generational cycles, they reveal why parents can't create relational safety for their children while their own minds remain captured by anxiety-producing information systems. This isn't about adding more...
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#164: How Attachment Shapes Your Faith, Family, and Freedom – with Dr. Todd Hall
LOVE IS FEARLESS
What if the key to spiritual growth isn’t trying harder—but learning how to feel safe, seen, and loved? In this episode, Doug and Janet sit down with psychologist and author Dr. Todd Hall for a powerful conversation about attachment, transformation, and the kind of love that reshapes your life. Together, they explore how our early relational patterns affect not just our parenting and marriage—but our relationship with God. You’ll learn: How to recognize attachment patterns that keep you stuck Why behavior doesn’t change until your nervous system feels safe How to...
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#163: Beyond Punishment: Practical Habits to Shape Identity, Not Just Behavior
LOVE IS FEARLESS
What if discipline isn’t about becoming someone better—but about learning to live from the truth of who you already are? In this episode, we continue our conversation on discipline—not as punishment or control, but as the sacred practice of forming identity through daily habits of love, truth, and presence. We explore how discipline aligns with our new identity in Christ, and how we help our children grow into that truth—not by force, but by faithfulness. You’ll hear stories of real formation—what it looks like in parenting, in marriage, and even in how we relate to ourselves. We...
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#162: Discipline Is Not What You Think: How Real Formation Replaces Control
LOVE IS FEARLESS
Every family is practicing discipline—even if we don’t realize it. But the question isn’t whether discipline is happening… it’s what kind of discipline is happening—and whether it’s forming fear, frustration, or secure, lasting maturity. Some discipline conforms us to the patterns of this world; kingdom discipline transforms us into the truth of who God created us to be. In this episode, we reframe discipline as the quiet, relational work of forming the soul—not controlling behavior. We explore how real discipline starts with us, flows through meaningful...
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Bonus Episode: Rooted in Kerrville – A Restoration Story from the Inside Out
LOVE IS FEARLESS
In today’s special episode, Doug and Janet share the story behind Rooted in Kerrville—a project born from their deep love of the Texas Hill Country, their partnership with Mercy Gate Ministries, and their heartache for a community forever changed by the devastating July 4 flood. This is more than a relief effort. It’s a long-term investment in soul restoration. When the flood hit, the physical damage was immense—but so was the emotional and spiritual toll. Local nonprofits like Mercy Gate are overwhelmed. Families are grieving. And pastors and helpers are exhausted, yet...
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#161 : The Three Instruments of Formation: How Atmosphere, Discipline, and Life Shape Your Family’s Story
LOVE IS FEARLESS
Every family is being shaped by a story, whether we realize it or not. The question isn’t if formation is happening…it’s what kind of formation is happening, and whether it’s rooted in fear or freedom. In this episode, we introduce The Three Instruments of Formation—Atmosphere, Discipline, and Life—and explore how they help create secure, connected homes where faith and maturity can take root. We also revisit the Three Doors framework and share how real families—maybe even yours—are living in stories of survival, striving, or freedom. Most of us...
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#160: Why Your Home's Atmosphere Shapes Your Child's Soul
LOVE IS FEARLESS
Episode Summary: Before a single word is spoken, we’ve already told a story. The emotional and spiritual tone we carry into a room—our atmosphere—is one of the most powerful instruments of formation in family life. In this episode, we unpack what atmosphere is, why it matters, and how it quietly shapes what our children believe about love, safety, identity, and belonging. You’ll discover how the Three Doors framework (Survival, Striving, and Transformation) shows up in the “air” of our homes and why peace-building—not pressure—creates the soil where souls...
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#159: All the Things We Say to God: A Conversation with Tanner Olson on Prayer, Parenting, and Poetry
LOVE IS FEARLESS
What if prayer wasn’t about getting the words right, but about being real? In this tender and honest conversation, Janet and Doug sit down with poet and author Tanner Olson, whose new children’s book All the Things I Say to God is helping families make prayer a natural part of everyday life. They explore Tanner and his wife’s journey through infertility and adoption, the power of surrender, and what it means to live a creative life anchored in faith, family, and honest conversations with God. You’re in the Right Place If… You want to raise kids who feel safe enough...
info_outlineThis is the second episode in our Season 7 alphabet series: A is for Affections, Not Addictions. Today we're learning to curate a life that builds affections instead of addictions—and discovering that most families are stuck in a perform/binge cycle that creates neither security nor transformation.
- Why Philippians 4:8 is brain training, not just moral advice—and how attention literally rewires your nervous system
- The core distinction: "Affections form you through love. Addictions manage you through substitutes for love."
- How affections grow in families where needs are welcomed and met through relationship—and how addictions grow where needs are managed in isolation
- Why addictions aren't moral failures or lack of willpower—they're brilliant survival strategies that come at a cost
- What it actually looks like to live life together without an agenda (and why this is easier than it sounds)
- How trauma bonds form even in "good Christian families" through performance-based relating
- Dr. Lee Warren's powerful framework: "You cannot control every thought that enters your mind, but you can choose which ones you rehearse and build a home for."
- Three practical steps to shift from addictions to affections this week
"When you're together in that relaxed, no-pressure environment, your child will often let you meet their needs. They'll ask questions. They'll share what's going on in their heart—because they feel safe."
"What you attend to becomes what you believe. What you believe becomes how you interpret reality. And how you interpret reality shapes your nervous system and your relationships."
3. Ask yourself: "What am I bonding with?" This is the question we asked in Episode #127, and it's one we need to keep coming back to. What are you bonding with? What's influencing you? What are you forming affections with? Are you bonding with habits, ideas, routines, and people who are life-giving—or demanding? Because what you bond with shapes you. So choose wisely. Transformation happens when we intentionally curate a life that forms affections rather than feeds addictions.
- Episode #127: "A is for Affections" (our first exploration of this topic)
- Dr. Lee Warren's work on faith and neuroscience (full interview coming next month!)
- Philippians 4:8 - "Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things."