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#166: We've Forgotten How To Live

LOVE IS FEARLESS

Release Date: 11/05/2025

#167 - A is for Affections, Not Addictions show art #167 - A is for Affections, Not Addictions

LOVE IS FEARLESS

What if renewing your mind isn't just spiritual advice—it's actual brain training? In this episode, we explore how attention shapes affection, and how the difference between affections and addictions determines whether your family is being transformed or simply managed into conforming to the patterns of this world. We're introducing  groundbreaking work on faith and neuroscience (stay tuned for our full interview with him next month), and discovering how Philippians 4:8 is God's prescription for mental health—not toxic positivity, but actual neural formation. This changes...

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#166: We've Forgotten How To Live show art #166: We've Forgotten How To Live

LOVE IS FEARLESS

We've become really good at managing crises, but somewhere along the way, we forgot how to live. In this season premiere, we introduce what it means to restore the lost art of being family—creating homes where a hard life is experienced differently, in secure relationships. This isn't about behavior modification or quick fixes. It's about life cultivation. Whether you're a parent, grandparent, or anyone raising or influencing children, this episode sets the foundation for everything we'll explore together this season. In This Episode, You'll Discover: Why modern parenting has become...

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#165: Building a Life of the Mind: How Mental Freedom Transforms Family Life show art #165: Building a Life of the Mind: How Mental Freedom Transforms Family Life

LOVE IS FEARLESS

Summary What if the "practical" parenting strategies you're searching for require something deeper first - the liberation of your own mind? In this episode, Janet and Doug explore the third instrument of formation: LIFE - the intentional pursuit and savoring of ideas that are good, true, and beautiful. Drawing on research about manufactured mental captivity and personal stories about breaking generational cycles, they reveal why parents can't create relational safety for their children while their own minds remain captured by anxiety-producing information systems. This isn't about adding more...

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#164: How Attachment Shapes Your Faith, Family, and Freedom – with Dr. Todd Hall show art #164: How Attachment Shapes Your Faith, Family, and Freedom – with Dr. Todd Hall

LOVE IS FEARLESS

What if the key to spiritual growth isn’t trying harder—but learning how to feel safe, seen, and loved? In this episode, Doug and Janet sit down with psychologist and author Dr. Todd Hall for a powerful conversation about attachment, transformation, and the kind of love that reshapes your life. Together, they explore how our early relational patterns affect not just our parenting and marriage—but our relationship with God. You’ll learn: How to recognize attachment patterns that keep you stuck Why behavior doesn’t change until your nervous system feels safe How to...

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#163: Beyond Punishment: Practical Habits to Shape Identity, Not Just Behavior show art #163: Beyond Punishment: Practical Habits to Shape Identity, Not Just Behavior

LOVE IS FEARLESS

What if discipline isn’t about becoming someone better—but about learning to live from the truth of who you already are? In this episode, we continue our conversation on discipline—not as punishment or control, but as the sacred practice of forming identity through daily habits of love, truth, and presence. We explore how discipline aligns with our new identity in Christ, and how we help our children grow into that truth—not by force, but by faithfulness. You’ll hear stories of real formation—what it looks like in parenting, in marriage, and even in how we relate to ourselves. We...

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#162: Discipline Is Not What You Think: How Real Formation Replaces Control show art #162: Discipline Is Not What You Think: How Real Formation Replaces Control

LOVE IS FEARLESS

Every family is practicing discipline—even if we don’t realize it. But the question isn’t whether discipline is happening… it’s what kind of discipline is happening—and whether it’s forming fear, frustration, or secure, lasting maturity.  Some discipline conforms us to the patterns of this world; kingdom discipline transforms us into the truth of who God created us to be. In this episode, we reframe discipline as the quiet, relational work of forming the soul—not controlling behavior. We explore how real discipline starts with us, flows through meaningful...

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Bonus Episode: Rooted in Kerrville – A Restoration Story from the Inside Out show art Bonus Episode: Rooted in Kerrville – A Restoration Story from the Inside Out

LOVE IS FEARLESS

In today’s special episode, Doug and Janet share the story behind Rooted in Kerrville—a project born from their deep love of the Texas Hill Country, their partnership with Mercy Gate Ministries, and their heartache for a community forever changed by the devastating July 4 flood. This is more than a relief effort. It’s a long-term investment in soul restoration. When the flood hit, the physical damage was immense—but so was the emotional and spiritual toll. Local nonprofits like Mercy Gate are overwhelmed. Families are grieving. And pastors and helpers are exhausted, yet...

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#161 : The Three Instruments of Formation: How Atmosphere, Discipline, and Life Shape Your Family’s Story show art #161 : The Three Instruments of Formation: How Atmosphere, Discipline, and Life Shape Your Family’s Story

LOVE IS FEARLESS

Every family is being shaped by a story, whether we realize it or not. The question isn’t if formation is happening…it’s what kind of formation is happening, and whether it’s rooted in fear or freedom.  In this episode, we introduce The Three Instruments of Formation—Atmosphere, Discipline, and Life—and explore how they help create secure, connected homes where faith and maturity can take root. We also revisit the Three Doors framework and share how real families—maybe even yours—are living in stories of survival, striving, or freedom. Most of us...

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#160: Why Your Home's Atmosphere Shapes Your Child's Soul show art #160: Why Your Home's Atmosphere Shapes Your Child's Soul

LOVE IS FEARLESS

Episode Summary: Before a single word is spoken, we’ve already told a story. The emotional and spiritual tone we carry into a room—our atmosphere—is one of the most powerful instruments of formation in family life. In this episode, we unpack what atmosphere is, why it matters, and how it quietly shapes what our children believe about love, safety, identity, and belonging. You’ll discover how the Three Doors framework (Survival, Striving, and Transformation) shows up in the “air” of our homes and why peace-building—not pressure—creates the soil where souls...

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#159: All the Things We Say to God: A Conversation with Tanner Olson on Prayer, Parenting, and Poetry show art #159: All the Things We Say to God: A Conversation with Tanner Olson on Prayer, Parenting, and Poetry

LOVE IS FEARLESS

What if prayer wasn’t about getting the words right, but about being real? In this tender and honest conversation, Janet and Doug sit down with poet and author Tanner Olson, whose new children’s book All the Things I Say to God is helping families make prayer a natural part of everyday life. They explore Tanner and his wife’s journey through infertility and adoption, the power of surrender, and what it means to live a creative life anchored in faith, family, and honest conversations with God. You’re in the Right Place If… You want to raise kids who feel safe enough...

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More Episodes
We've become really good at managing crises, but somewhere along the way, we forgot how to live. In this season premiere, we introduce what it means to restore the lost art of being family—creating homes where a hard life is experienced differently, in secure relationships.

This isn't about behavior modification or quick fixes. It's about life cultivation. Whether you're a parent, grandparent, or anyone raising or influencing children, this episode sets the foundation for everything we'll explore together this season.

In This Episode, You'll Discover:
  • Why modern parenting has become crisis management—and what we're missing
  • The Performance/Pain Relief cycle keeping families stuck in survival mode
  • How our brains are being shaped by what we practice (survival, striving, or freedom)
  • The two lenses: Old Lens (earn, deserve, take) vs. New Lens (trust, receive)
  • What Jesus really meant in John 15 about unfruitful branches (spoiler: you're being lifted up, not burned)
  • An introduction to the LIF alphabet—a guide to living secure in a struggling world
  • One simple practice to begin transformation this week

Quotable Moments
"We've become really good problem-solvers. We know how to eliminate threats, but we've forgotten how to LIVE."

"We're starving for relational nutrition in the middle of a fast-food feast of standardized success and maximized comfort."

"A hard life is experienced differently in secure relationships. We're not offering a life without problems—we're offering a secure place to stand while navigating problems."

"Our brains are being built by what we practice. When we practice security, our brains begin to rewire."

"Unfruitful living branches are restored; dead branches are removed to protect life. God does not discard the struggling—He tends them back to life."

"You are not a dead branch about to be burned. You're a living branch being lifted up."

"The way we SEE changes everything."
 
"God won't skip you to get to your children."

Three Takeaways
  1. We're restoring the lost art of being family. This season is about learning to create homes where a hard life is experienced differently—in secure relationships. Not crisis management, but life cultivation.
  2. You're a living branch being lifted up. God doesn't discard the struggling—He tends them back to life. You're not too far gone. You're not failing. You're being repositioned to bear fruit. Trust that.
  3. This week: just notice. When you reach for something, ask yourself: Am I reaching from security (trusting and receiving from the Source) or insecurity (trying to earn, deserve, or take what I need)? Awareness is the first step. We're learning this together.
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About This Season
Season Seven: Restoring the Lost Art of Being Family is a journey through the LIF (Love Is Fearless) alphabet—a guide to creating homes where a hard life is experienced differently, in secure relationships. Each episode explores the theology, neuroscience, and practical application of living secure in a struggling world. This isn't about behavior modification—it's about transformation. Whether you're a parent, grandparent, or anyone raising or influencing children, we're learning together what it means to refuse to participate in our own demise and actively walk in the transformative power of the life we've been GIVEN.