Rise With Reb
Jo & JJ Go Mental
Jo and J.J. welcome the inspirational Reb, Transformational Life Coach who is the driving force behind the Rise With Reb programs and community. Reb shares how she went from a wheelchair to walking, despite what the doctors said. She, Jo, and J.J. discuss why it’s so hard to let go of old habits, the responsibility we have of sharing our story on social media, the importance of advocating for yourself and doing your own research, and how not to live in a pity fest.
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Carrying Ourselves and Others Through Grief
Jo & JJ Go Mental
Today Jo and J.J. focus on grief, both from the perspective of the griever and from the person trying to comfort others through their grief. They explore the right approach to carrying ourselves and others through grief. Jo also shares an experience about willfulness and effectiveness in DBT and why people really need to learn to let go of the need to be right and just accept what is. They talk about defining values, setting boundaries, and, on a lighter note, why #begrannymolly is Jo’s new life goal.
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Emotional Intelligence: When Is It Real, and When is It Self Serving?
Jo & JJ Go Mental
They’re baaack! Jo and J.J. kick off Season 2 the only way they know how - by spelling out that sometimes we can get this emotional intelligence piece wrong. Many well intentioned leaders approach emotional intelligence as a tick box exercise, merely going through the motions, rather than really understanding the objective. That faux emotional intelligence in corporate societies will likely try to cover up a more self serving agenda.
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Season 1 Recap and Looking Ahead To Season 2
Jo & JJ Go Mental
What a season! As Jo and J.J. wrap up Season 1, they identify a few of the themes that came up with the fantastic array of guests. Between fear, shame, embracing your weirdness and much more, Season 1 was chock full of learning from each other and calling in new perspectives. This week, they highlight a few stand-out moments and give us a sneak peek of what we can look forward to in Season 2.
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We Can Be Different Together: Faith Clarke
Jo & JJ Go Mental
This week, Jo and J.J. welcome Faith Clarke, Organizational Health and Inclusion Specialist who works with value-driven and diverse teams so they can deliver on business and social impact promises at the highest level. Faith is extremely passionate about inclusion for BIPOC and neuro-distinct individuals and advocating for those who “don’t belong”. She discusses the importance of mental health and how her children taught her to focus more on wisdom than having control.
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One foot on the gas, one foot on the brake with Reverend Erika Allison
Jo & JJ Go Mental
Jo and J.J. welcome Reverend Erika Allison, Queer interfaith minister, speaker, author, and spiritual counselor. Rev. Erika talks about her own experience with conversion therapy, and how harmful it can be, causing long-term effects and even high cases of suicide.
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Tax consultants don’t wear pink with Marie Louise Ashworth
Jo & JJ Go Mental
This week, Jo and J.J. are joined by Marie Louise Ashworth, President of The Network, a network of female entrepreneurs and professionals in Luxembourg. The Network is devoted to developing a supportive community of women and helping them build resilience, avoid burnout, and thrive as they meet their personal and professional goals.
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Changing Perceptions of Burnout Through The Generations
Jo & JJ Go Mental
Jo is on her own this week and shares her reflections on how the attitude around burnout has shifted throughout the generations, especially since the pandemic. Jo discusses three perceptions of burnout that she has seen a shift: that if you burnout that means you are broken or weak; that burnout and exhaustion is just a side effect of being busy which is a good thing, and that life is just tough and you should just get on with it and not complain.
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Honoring The Anger
Jo & JJ Go Mental
They discuss why doing the deep work of anger is like wading through that infamous tunnel scene in The Shawshank Redemption, how anger signals that our boundaries are being crossed, and how letting go of anger needs to be a conscious choice. They also talk about how to process anger if you can’t really act on it right then and there, and why women have such a tougher time showing anger in public.
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Letting Go and Learning To Smile With All Four Cheeks - Interview With June Burgess
Jo & JJ Go Mental
This week, Jo and J.J. are joined by June Burgess, Equine Coach, Business Director, and Entrepreneur. She talks about how she began her Equine Assistance Workshops and why working with horses can be so powerful for our mental health. Jo shares her own experience in learning to relax around the horses and how that mirrored so much about business and the need for perfectionism.
info_outlineAre you getting in your own way, and sabotaging and preventing yourself from getting what you really want or feeling as good as you can?
This week, we tackle Sam’s situation — who is nervous about an upcoming speaking gig — and discuss different methods in which he can ease the fear and feel more confident. Then, Joanna talks about her own experience of when precision turned into perfectionism, and it led her to counterproductive feelings of exhaustion and burnout. We invite you to ask yourself, at what point does the need to be precise (because your job requires it) become an unhelpful and exhausting need to be perfect (because you think that is the only way to be accepted)? What things are you doing that you think are helpful, but are actually getting in your own way? Tune in to find out!
Takeaway:
[9:02] Sam writes about a speaking engagement coming up that is bringing him a ton of anxiety. He is appearing on a panel after another colleague couldn’t do it, and having nightmares about freezing up and everyone laughing at him.
[9:51] Worrying about an event that hasn’t even happened yet, is very common, especially when it comes to public speaking, and there is no need to feel shame about having it.
[13:02] Public speaking is scary and if you can get through it without vomiting (or even just vomiting a little) that’s a win! There is nothing to prove, you are already an expert just delivering information. We talk about some visualization techniques to try to picture it going well and giving the presentation of your dreams.
[15:05] There is power in realizing that our worries and fearful thoughts are not always facts or what is happening in reality. A foundational practice you can start using is to take three deep breaths to help regulate your nervous system a little more before you try your mindfulness and visualization techniques.
[19:04] Good preparation is a great foundation to feeling prepared when it comes to speaking, and also gives you a solid footing in case something out of the expected does arise.
[21:00] The more you perform, the more you get used to that feeling of just being in the moment rather than worrying about what may come next.
[23:40] However, there can be dangers when we prepare too much. Joanna shares her experience in corporate life and how the desire to be well prepared became almost obsessive. The need to be precise and accurate is vital when you are working in a tax career, but the challenge came when that need for control bled into every other part of her life. Her anxiety turned into panic attacks and OCD behaviour. Sometimes that meant finishing the draft of an email and then spending two hours checking bullet points and semicolons - as though this was what was needed to make the content of the document correct. The more time spent on those kinds of details, the more exhausted she became. The more exhausted she became, the more anxious she was, and the more she needed to check the details.
[25:03] JJ points out that it was clear that this kind of behaviour was not helpful to Jo. Should Jo not have been able to see that, and stop the behaviour before it went too far? When we get honest and real about willful ways (ie doing things over and over even when they don’t help), we can start to see the signs and get ahead of it before we become too out of balance . As Jo points out, however, sometimes it is only with hindsight, and a lot of rest, that we can see how we were getting in our way in the past and move towards being more effective in the future.
[29:32] What are the ways you consistently behave that are ineffective?
[31:58] Adult versions of willfulness can be perfection, defensiveness, and the “yeah buts”.
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