I Got A Promotion At Work But Now I’m A Nervous Wreck! Help!
Release Date: 04/12/2021
Rise With Reb
Jo & JJ Go Mental
Jo and J.J. welcome the inspirational Reb, Transformational Life Coach who is the driving force behind the Rise With Reb programs and community. Reb shares how she went from a wheelchair to walking, despite what the doctors said. She, Jo, and J.J. discuss why it’s so hard to let go of old habits, the responsibility we have of sharing our story on social media, the importance of advocating for yourself and doing your own research, and how not to live in a pity fest.
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Carrying Ourselves and Others Through Grief
Jo & JJ Go Mental
Today Jo and J.J. focus on grief, both from the perspective of the griever and from the person trying to comfort others through their grief. They explore the right approach to carrying ourselves and others through grief. Jo also shares an experience about willfulness and effectiveness in DBT and why people really need to learn to let go of the need to be right and just accept what is. They talk about defining values, setting boundaries, and, on a lighter note, why #begrannymolly is Jo’s new life goal.
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Emotional Intelligence: When Is It Real, and When is It Self Serving?
Jo & JJ Go Mental
They’re baaack! Jo and J.J. kick off Season 2 the only way they know how - by spelling out that sometimes we can get this emotional intelligence piece wrong. Many well intentioned leaders approach emotional intelligence as a tick box exercise, merely going through the motions, rather than really understanding the objective. That faux emotional intelligence in corporate societies will likely try to cover up a more self serving agenda.
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Season 1 Recap and Looking Ahead To Season 2
Jo & JJ Go Mental
What a season! As Jo and J.J. wrap up Season 1, they identify a few of the themes that came up with the fantastic array of guests. Between fear, shame, embracing your weirdness and much more, Season 1 was chock full of learning from each other and calling in new perspectives. This week, they highlight a few stand-out moments and give us a sneak peek of what we can look forward to in Season 2.
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We Can Be Different Together: Faith Clarke
Jo & JJ Go Mental
This week, Jo and J.J. welcome Faith Clarke, Organizational Health and Inclusion Specialist who works with value-driven and diverse teams so they can deliver on business and social impact promises at the highest level. Faith is extremely passionate about inclusion for BIPOC and neuro-distinct individuals and advocating for those who “don’t belong”. She discusses the importance of mental health and how her children taught her to focus more on wisdom than having control.
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One foot on the gas, one foot on the brake with Reverend Erika Allison
Jo & JJ Go Mental
Jo and J.J. welcome Reverend Erika Allison, Queer interfaith minister, speaker, author, and spiritual counselor. Rev. Erika talks about her own experience with conversion therapy, and how harmful it can be, causing long-term effects and even high cases of suicide.
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Tax consultants don’t wear pink with Marie Louise Ashworth
Jo & JJ Go Mental
This week, Jo and J.J. are joined by Marie Louise Ashworth, President of The Network, a network of female entrepreneurs and professionals in Luxembourg. The Network is devoted to developing a supportive community of women and helping them build resilience, avoid burnout, and thrive as they meet their personal and professional goals.
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Changing Perceptions of Burnout Through The Generations
Jo & JJ Go Mental
Jo is on her own this week and shares her reflections on how the attitude around burnout has shifted throughout the generations, especially since the pandemic. Jo discusses three perceptions of burnout that she has seen a shift: that if you burnout that means you are broken or weak; that burnout and exhaustion is just a side effect of being busy which is a good thing, and that life is just tough and you should just get on with it and not complain.
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Honoring The Anger
Jo & JJ Go Mental
They discuss why doing the deep work of anger is like wading through that infamous tunnel scene in The Shawshank Redemption, how anger signals that our boundaries are being crossed, and how letting go of anger needs to be a conscious choice. They also talk about how to process anger if you can’t really act on it right then and there, and why women have such a tougher time showing anger in public.
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Letting Go and Learning To Smile With All Four Cheeks - Interview With June Burgess
Jo & JJ Go Mental
This week, Jo and J.J. are joined by June Burgess, Equine Coach, Business Director, and Entrepreneur. She talks about how she began her Equine Assistance Workshops and why working with horses can be so powerful for our mental health. Jo shares her own experience in learning to relax around the horses and how that mirrored so much about business and the need for perfectionism.
info_outlineThis week, we hear from a listener who worked hard and diligently to get a promotion at work, only to now have crippling anxiety, imposter syndrome, and a whole lot of stress about doing their new job correctly. We talk about the stress and anxiety that commonly occurs when taking on a new role at work, and how that anxiety can turn into a self-fulfilling prophecy if not managed correctly. We discuss the difference between the initial pain or fear that then creates suffering, analysis paralysis, and a feeling of non-stop impending doom.
How can we break the cycle, challenge our thoughts, and find a new way of working and living while trying our best? Tune in to find out!
Takeaway:
[4:30] Our listener this week was promoted in their job six months ago. They were excited at first, but now the reality of this new responsibility is bringing terror and fear about making a mistake and screwing everything up.
[6:31] Joanna can really relate to this situation, and talks about one such career transition that took place when she was working in corporate. After working really hard and demonstrating she was worth the promotion, the problems quickly set in after she took on the new role. She started stressing herself out about every aspect of the job, and in particular started to panic about making decisions that six months previously had been a walk in the park. She started to get so overwhelmed with worry thoughts that it affected her focus and created a self-fulfilling prophecy, until things came to a head one day when her boss took her to one side and had words with her.
[9:14] J.J. discusses how DBT approaches the difference between pain and suffering. Suffering is the non acceptance of pain. In this example, the pain is the fear and performance anxiety. The pain is natural, but the suffering occurs when we don’t accept it to be real - instead we stay in constant worry, believing our worst fears and treating our negative thoughts as facts.
[13:10] We understand that it’s ok for others to make a mistake — even in life or death situations — because to err is human. But when we do it, we tend to beat ourselves up and see it as though we’ve let everyone down on something earth-shatteringly important.
[14:47] Great leaders create an environment where their team is able to be open and honest about making a mistake, and they use their knowledge and experience to move forward in the best way. This is particularly important in companies where innovation is key - we can only have innovation if we are comfortable making mistakes. It’s not easy though, because we are brainwashed by society to try and come across as picture-perfect and as though we’ve got it all together.
[20:08]The conversation turns to burnout in the workplace, and the work that Jo is doing to break down the stigma around the topic. Many big companies are investing funds to put programmes in place to promote a better work life balance in the workplace, but in a number of cases there does not seem to be much traction or change. There may be many reasons behind that, and Jo suggests that one of them may be the mis-perception among the staff that the leaders do not really buy in the programme and are merely paying lip service. Jo suggests that the truth may be more complex - not so much that the leaders do not buy in, but more that they are not ready or willing to talk about how they are suffering in front of their teams. There are many valid reasons why a leader would be unwilling to do this - however, in not doing so there is a risk that the staff misunderstand. If they believe the leaders are just paying lip service, this will give rise to frustration among the staff, and a reluctance to change things from their side. Jo is now on a mission to talk about burnout and what leaders can do to take care of themselves, even if these are difficult conversations. And every time that she shares her TEDx or talks about the book, she gets feedback from others thanking her for sharing the story.
[25:49] In talking about the suffering that comes when we don’t face up to the emotions that we are experiencing, Jo points out that one reason this can happen is that we simply don't know we are facing those emotions. Very concretely, Jo explains that at the time she was working in corporate and riddled with fear and self doubt, she didn't actually know she was riddled with fear and self doubt. She just thought she was trying to get through the day and not screw up. With hindsight it is clear that there was that uncertainty, and if she had known it at the time, she might have been able to validate that emotion and avoid the suffering. But she didn’t.
[28.26] You know what, it’s scary to do a new job, to uplevel. And it is normal to feel scared. We need to validate that emotion, and then allow ourselves to deal with the emotion so we can move on.
[32:20] Feeling relaxed and having fun is all-around better for business and productivity. Instead of sparing your sleep and self-care, get that walk-in. Drink some water. Breathe.
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