Learning To Let Kids Go and Embracing Mistakes with Jessica Whytehorn
Release Date: 06/07/2021
Rise With Reb
Jo & JJ Go Mental
Jo and J.J. welcome the inspirational Reb, Transformational Life Coach who is the driving force behind the Rise With Reb programs and community. Reb shares how she went from a wheelchair to walking, despite what the doctors said. She, Jo, and J.J. discuss why it’s so hard to let go of old habits, the responsibility we have of sharing our story on social media, the importance of advocating for yourself and doing your own research, and how not to live in a pity fest.
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Carrying Ourselves and Others Through Grief
Jo & JJ Go Mental
Today Jo and J.J. focus on grief, both from the perspective of the griever and from the person trying to comfort others through their grief. They explore the right approach to carrying ourselves and others through grief. Jo also shares an experience about willfulness and effectiveness in DBT and why people really need to learn to let go of the need to be right and just accept what is. They talk about defining values, setting boundaries, and, on a lighter note, why #begrannymolly is Jo’s new life goal.
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Emotional Intelligence: When Is It Real, and When is It Self Serving?
Jo & JJ Go Mental
They’re baaack! Jo and J.J. kick off Season 2 the only way they know how - by spelling out that sometimes we can get this emotional intelligence piece wrong. Many well intentioned leaders approach emotional intelligence as a tick box exercise, merely going through the motions, rather than really understanding the objective. That faux emotional intelligence in corporate societies will likely try to cover up a more self serving agenda.
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Season 1 Recap and Looking Ahead To Season 2
Jo & JJ Go Mental
What a season! As Jo and J.J. wrap up Season 1, they identify a few of the themes that came up with the fantastic array of guests. Between fear, shame, embracing your weirdness and much more, Season 1 was chock full of learning from each other and calling in new perspectives. This week, they highlight a few stand-out moments and give us a sneak peek of what we can look forward to in Season 2.
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We Can Be Different Together: Faith Clarke
Jo & JJ Go Mental
This week, Jo and J.J. welcome Faith Clarke, Organizational Health and Inclusion Specialist who works with value-driven and diverse teams so they can deliver on business and social impact promises at the highest level. Faith is extremely passionate about inclusion for BIPOC and neuro-distinct individuals and advocating for those who “don’t belong”. She discusses the importance of mental health and how her children taught her to focus more on wisdom than having control.
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One foot on the gas, one foot on the brake with Reverend Erika Allison
Jo & JJ Go Mental
Jo and J.J. welcome Reverend Erika Allison, Queer interfaith minister, speaker, author, and spiritual counselor. Rev. Erika talks about her own experience with conversion therapy, and how harmful it can be, causing long-term effects and even high cases of suicide.
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Tax consultants don’t wear pink with Marie Louise Ashworth
Jo & JJ Go Mental
This week, Jo and J.J. are joined by Marie Louise Ashworth, President of The Network, a network of female entrepreneurs and professionals in Luxembourg. The Network is devoted to developing a supportive community of women and helping them build resilience, avoid burnout, and thrive as they meet their personal and professional goals.
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Changing Perceptions of Burnout Through The Generations
Jo & JJ Go Mental
Jo is on her own this week and shares her reflections on how the attitude around burnout has shifted throughout the generations, especially since the pandemic. Jo discusses three perceptions of burnout that she has seen a shift: that if you burnout that means you are broken or weak; that burnout and exhaustion is just a side effect of being busy which is a good thing, and that life is just tough and you should just get on with it and not complain.
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Honoring The Anger
Jo & JJ Go Mental
They discuss why doing the deep work of anger is like wading through that infamous tunnel scene in The Shawshank Redemption, how anger signals that our boundaries are being crossed, and how letting go of anger needs to be a conscious choice. They also talk about how to process anger if you can’t really act on it right then and there, and why women have such a tougher time showing anger in public.
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Letting Go and Learning To Smile With All Four Cheeks - Interview With June Burgess
Jo & JJ Go Mental
This week, Jo and J.J. are joined by June Burgess, Equine Coach, Business Director, and Entrepreneur. She talks about how she began her Equine Assistance Workshops and why working with horses can be so powerful for our mental health. Jo shares her own experience in learning to relax around the horses and how that mirrored so much about business and the need for perfectionism.
info_outlineJo’s good friend, HR Manager, and super step-mom Jessica Whytehorn joins the show this week. She talks with us about families from different backgrounds coming together to form a strong and respectful unit. Jessica shares her own story about how she adapted to a family that originally spoke different languages, and worked to create an element of respect and tolerance. Jessica also talks with us about how to know when to let go so the kids can fly the nest. We may be thinking the kids are not ready to be on their own or even just to take a small step towards independence, but very often it comes from the grown up not being ready. There may never be a moment and sometimes it’s just a matter of letting go bit by bit for both. How do we know when it’s time? Tune in and let’s discuss.
Takeaway:
[0:59] Jessica is an HR manager passionate about inspiring others. She has a strong belief that clear and effective communication skills can help manage almost any situation. She is also a mom to a step family of three kids, with a mix of different countries and native languages.
[3:07] Besides admittedly being a wee bit insane, Jessica joined the show because she wanted to say yes, we are all a little crazy, and that is more than okay. We are not perfect, and we can learn from our so-called failures.
[6:02] Jessica has embraced taking risks in her life and left her Jamaica home at 21 to move to Britain and eventually Belgium. Living in different countries has shown her that when you appreciate people’s differences, you can embrace them on all levels.
[7:28] It’s okay to still be playful as an adult. We often take our lives so seriously that we forget it’s fun to have fun, and allowed!
[9:00] Jessica shares a story about watching a swallow make a nest and how it dawned on her that if birds understand that their young must leave at some point, why can’t humans get this? As adults, we are scared to let our children go and have them fly the nest.
[11:12] First, we must validate the fear and heartbreak that comes with being a parent.
[17:10] Sometimes as adults we forget that they are still kids. On the one hand, are the parents ready? Jo, J.J., and Jessica share their perspective on when a child actually becomes an adult that can be out on their own. It doesn’t have to be one big event such as them moving out, but even just going for a drive the first time, or in Jessica’s sons case, learning to hand wash their own jeans.
[24:54] When you teach your children basic skills and a little responsibility, you are also showing them that you trust they can do it. This builds confidence and self esteem.
[27:15] Jessica talks about the way she brought about her step family, and immersed them into a new language. French is spoken at home and the kids are bilingual, so they are used to speaking both English and French at home.
[30:02] J.J. gives her tips for blended families. The one thing everyone agrees on is that the parents need to be a united front. Jessica very much appreciates that her kids refer to themselves as brother and sister rather than step-siblings, even when she and her husband did not insist upon it.
[34:45] It’s becoming more common to have a blended family, but yet so many situations are very turbulent. J.J. notes the grace in which Jessica has pulled it off by consistent commitment and understanding.
[35:35] We hear from a new step-mom who writes in with a question. She wants to get involved with her boyfriend’s three children, but not sure where to draw the line. The young child recently said she wanted to be a stay at home mom like her own mother, and this step-mom didn’t know if she should have offered her other opinions? First, it’s best to just be there as a sounding board, and this child may be too young to even need a second opinion on their future career. It’s important to never belittle the mom, and know that the child just wants to be heard. Unity in parenting is of utmost importance.
[42:40] When reading books on parenting advice, pay attention to your instinct and gut to see if anything resonates with your values. It’s okay to screw up, but you want to make mindful decisions as both an individual and on behalf of your family. Write the values out and involve the kids so they have clarity about the general infrastructure within your family unit.
Connect With Us:
Joanna Denton | Dr. J.J. Kelly