The Sun

“Love God and then do whatever you wish.”   St. Augustine

 This is the quote for the spiritual experience of the sun tarot card in my ultimate guide to the Raider Waite Tarot book. I had to laugh as I read it this morning sitting down to write this podcast.  

 I decided to write about the sun card because it is the solstice, and the sun symbolizes rebirth and daily renewal.  And surprise! This month and for the rest of this year I am in a process of change and renewal yet again.  I’m currently writing this on my deck in St. Augustine, Florida.  Inside my little house in the woods surrounded by magick and elemental beings are boxes ready to be packed and put into storage.  I’m moving.  Again.  I just put the last of my Seattle life into a storage locker at my good friend’s condo and now I am putting my St. Augustine things into storage until November when I hopefully move into my new house that is currently being built. 

 “Birth is not a momentary event, but a permanent process.  Our aim in life is to become completely born…living means being born every minute.” Erich Fromm.

 The process of rebirth for me has been going on for years.  But more intensely these last 2 since I was called to step up in my spiritual practice and make this move to St. Augustine. I keep laughing because it really seems to keep getting more intense when silly me thought it would chill out by now.  But relocating your life and business across the country is a process. All good things - meeting the love of one's life, co-creating a new home together, establishing a foothold in a new city, building a new community, taking yet another bar exam (I could do without this step but it's a right of passage in my profession) - these are all major things.  As is exiting a place (Seattle) where you built a life for the past 20 years. 

 What I’m learning in part is surrender.  Allowing the will of God to flow through me. Allowing the highest good to flow through me.  And not being an obstacle to my own birthing process.  Not being an obstacle to my own greatness and purpose.  I will, thy will, I say.  Let my greatest desire be that I fulfill my contract with God.  The purpose I made for myself when I was spirit before I had amnesia caused by this physical density.  

 So, I am attempting to understand with my higher self my needs and wants.  Then holding the vision for them to be met. And thus arranging my priorities to ensure that energetically, and then physically.  Versus clinging to my past self and fighting the process.  I surrender to the process of rebirthing.  

So I shared the quote that I read and laughed out loud when looking at The Sun card.  There are no coincidences that St. Augustine himself is speaking to me today.  Love God i.e. love yourself and all beings and allow the will of god to flow through you.  Then do what you want.  Well, when the will of god flows through you - you become an agent for the best and highest good. 

December of 2023 marked one year of my leap of faith to move to St. Augustine.  And although it was a month of upheaval and unmet expectations for myself and others it was actually really great - because I put my house in order.  I had to sit down with myself and decide the priorities for Angel’s life. What was it that I really desired and wanted in my life? Yes, I want to do God’s will but I’m not a robot.  I’m a human being with needs and wants and one of our 4 basic needs is love.  I decided that the most important thing to me in my life was to find my life partner.  Someone I could spend my life with who would love me for me, and I would love them for them in return - and we could be a team.  Team us.  

I also decided that I was going to fully let go of Seattle.  That I was going to ground my light here in St. Augustine. I was going to plant my energy in this soil and build my life here instead of traversing the country every other week or month and running myself ragged in the process.  

 The result of this decision? Within 2 months I was registered for the Florida Bar Exam, I found a location for my light center at the Center for Spiritual Living, and I was in a relationship with a person that I love and who loves me in return, who actually wants to spend their life with me as a team.  Not someone in it for some sense of immediate gratification but actual loyalty and commitment to building a relationship and all the co-creation that goes with that. And as a result of all of that, here I am.  Moving and rebirthing myself again.  

But not chaotically.  I’m executing (with assistance) the vision of grounding myself here in St. Augustine and the universe is supporting me because it's in alignment with my purpose.  

How do I know? Because I trust my higher self, I trust the tools of my spiritual practice and the law of the universe I am watching at play around me. I’m far from perfect, or a perfect situation but I’m doing my best and I am holding gratitude for everything given and taken away.

 So let’s talk about The Sun card and the summer solstice for a second.  The Sun = the active principle.  As the moon stands for the collective unconscious the sun stands for the collective Consciousness.  Being able to be free from autonomous programming and making actual choices authentically from our free will.   I’m going to take a step further and say that true choice from our freest of free wills comes from our positive ego that is connected to the holy spirit i.e. the collective consciousness of the ascended masters (these are those who have mastered their negative ego and now live to support those of us in the physical world i.e. Jesus, Buddha, Quan Yin, Isis, Osiris, Odin, Freya, Lakshmi, Ganesha, any archetype from any culture..the ascended masters are numerous).  

If we are connecting with our higher self and making discerning choices for our nurture and wellbeing out of love for ourselves and others we are truly living from free will and influenced by the conscious positive collective consciousness.  

On the other side, if all we are doing is playing out a record of our story fueled by programming from our subconscious (our stored repository of unexpressed and repressed emotions i.e. that suitcase full of crap you had to sit on to close and hide under your bed).  Are you really living fully? If you are motivated only by fear, jealousy, stress, pain, or the avoidance of pain your negative ego says is necessary to survive?  Is that truly a choice? Or are you choosing to be a slave to your masks, your negative ego, and unmanaged emotions? I'd say so - choosing to stay in the prison of fear we build for ourselves because we are afraid to try something different, or think it will hurt is not living.  

Life is filled with a myriad of opportunities to fuck up.  That's the point! To learn by failing forward and making mistakes.  Picking yourself up when you fall down and saying “well, maybe I won't do it that way again.”  But a lot of us (and I have been guilty of this myself) say “I have no choice!” I have to stay here doing this thing this way because if I change I’ll die.  Our negative ego is so caught up in our fight or flight mechanism we really do equate change to death.  

But that is a lie.  Change is rebirth. Growth is freedom. Failing is movement. And if you are not moving forward you are going backwards and you are letting your subconscious rule the show.  Instead we should go arms open naked on a white horse into the sun of a new day smiling because if we fall off it was one hell of a ride. 

Now - the solstice!  The sun is at its peak! This is the time of action.  Of light. Of celebration and growth.  We have all the vitamin D and all of the time and energy to accomplish all of the things! Now is the time of Joy and Illumination.  Of healing by shining light on that which was hidden.  And it's the time of the masculine energetic active principle.  So see what there is to see and be in the now making choices from your positive ego for the best and highest good.  

And that is your assignment this month.  Do or do not.  There is no Try.  Go forth!  Be in the now.  Get ‘er done.  Live your life.  Fail gloriously and celebrate the victory of doing something differently than you did before.  

 I love you all.  And as always if you need any assistance with this assignment or anything else - I can help with that!  Until next time.  Go frolic in the Sun and live joyfully.