My Journey Through Grief, Bullying & Becoming | Legally Clueless Ep 354
Release Date: 12/01/2025
When Shame Turns Life Into a Performance | For Mannerless Women
Legally Clueless
What happens when shame quietly teaches you to perform instead of be? In this episode of For Mannerless Women, Adelle Onyango sits down with Kenyan comedian, activist, and writer Justine Wanda for a deeply honest conversation about shame, identity, adoption, grief, and unlearning survival modes. Justine shares how growing up adopted shaped her sense of belonging, why humour became a shield, and how much of her early life, from school to university, was spent performing to avoid being questioned or exposed. She reflects on the slow breaking of that performance, and the relief that came with...
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The Loneliness After Boundaries | Mid Week Tease
Legally Clueless
Setting boundaries is often framed as empowering and it is. But what we don’t talk about enough is what comes after. The quiet. The emotional exhaustion. The loneliness that settles in when you stop over-giving, over-explaining, and abandoning yourself for the comfort of others. In this Mid Week Tease episode, Adelle Onyango explores the rarely discussed emotional aftermath of boundaries, especially for women who have spent years being the strong one, the reliable one, the emotionally available one. This conversation is not about “how to set boundaries.” It’s about what it feels like...
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The Loneliness After Boundaries | Mid Week Tease
Legally Clueless
Setting boundaries is often framed as empowering and it is. But what we don’t talk about enough is what comes after. The quiet. The emotional exhaustion. The loneliness that settles in when you stop over-giving, over-explaining, and abandoning yourself for the comfort of others. In this Mid Week Tease episode, Adelle Onyango explores the rarely discussed emotional aftermath of boundaries, especially for women who have spent years being the strong one, the reliable one, the emotionally available one. This conversation is not about “how to set boundaries.” It’s about what it feels like...
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Why I Chose to Be Childfree as a Kenyan Man PART 1 | Legally Clueless Ep 361
Legally Clueless
In Episode 361 of the Legally Clueless Podcast, we share Part 1 of William Genga’s story, a Kenyan man who made the decision to be childfree at a very young age and spent years defending that choice in a society that insists everyone must eventually become a parent. Born and raised in Kericho, William reflects on growing up parentified as the firstborn, constantly caring for younger relatives, and how those early experiences shaped his relationship with responsibility, autonomy, and choice. In this deeply honest episode, William opens up about: Why he decided he never wanted children, as...
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Becoming a Shame-Free Woman: Desire, Pleasure & Personal Liberation | For Mannerless Women
Legally Clueless
In this episode of For Mannerless Women, Adelle Onyango sits down with writer, filmmaker, and cultural commentator Abigail Arunga for an expansive, deeply honest conversation about shame, desire, pleasure, and what it truly means to arrive as a liberated woman. Together, they explore how women are socialised to shrink themselves, emotionally, physically, sensually and what it takes to begin unlearning that conditioning. From confronting internalised shame to reclaiming pleasure, body autonomy, and self-trust, this episode invites listeners to reflect on their own relationship with desire and...
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Choosing A Life Others Didn’t Imagine For You: Being Childfree | Mid Week Tease
Legally Clueless
What does it mean to choose a life that doesn’t come with a ready-made script? In this episode of Mid Week Tease, we sit with the quiet, complex reality of being childfree, not as a debate, not as a defence, but as a lived truth. Inspired by Part Two of Hekaya’s story in Episode 360 of Legally Clueless, this conversation explores what it really means to opt out of motherhood in a world that assumes it is every woman’s destiny. We talk about the grief that can coexist with certainty, the identity work that begins when womanhood is no longer anchored to caregiving, and the ways...
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Family, Shame, and Becoming Yourself Part 2 | Legally Clueless Ep360
Legally Clueless
In Part Two of Hekaya’s story, the conversation deepens into reproductive choice, healing, and what it means to consciously choose a childfree life. Hekaya reflects on getting pregnant while in university, choosing to terminate the pregnancy, and navigating the experience largely in silence. She speaks candidly about relief, guilt, and the shame that followed and how she continued with life before she had the language or space to process what had happened. This episode also explores Hekaya's journey toward identifying as childfree, not as a reaction, not as fear, but as clarity. She...
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Same Home, Different Childhoods: Sibling Dynamics | Mid Week Tease
Legally Clueless
What happens when siblings grow up under the same roof, but carry very different emotional experiences into adulthood? In this Mid Week Tease episode, inspired by Hekaya’s story on the Legally Clueless podcast, we explore the quiet complexity of sibling dynamics, birth order roles, comparison, and emotional safety within families. Many of us were raised believing that shared parents automatically meant shared childhoods. But psychology tells a different story. Drawing from the work of trauma-informed physician Gabor Maté and psychologist Alfred Adler, this episode gently unpacks why...
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Family, Shame, and Becoming Yourself | Legally Clueless Ep359 Part 1
Legally Clueless
In this first episode of 2026, we open the year with Part One of Hekaya’s story, a deeply reflective and honest conversation about family, identity, and the long road toward becoming yourself. Hekaya shares what it was like growing up as the last born in a family where expectations, religion, and control shaped how safe she felt to express who she truly was. She reflects on sibling dynamics, loneliness within family systems, creativity as a lifeline, and the subtle ways shame can be inherited and internalised. This episode lays the emotional foundation for a larger story, one...
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Surviving An Abusive Relationship Part 2 | Legally Clueless Ep 358
Legally Clueless
In episode 358 of the Legally Clueless Podcast, Victoria shares Part 2 of her story, a powerful journey of leaving an unsafe marriage, rebuilding life as a single mother, navigating fear and displacement, and eventually experiencing deep love and devastating loss. Picking up from childhood trauma and survival patterns explored in Part 1, this episode focuses on healing, agency, community support, and what it means to choose life after years of endurance. In this episode, we explore: Leaving an unsafe marriage with children Rebuilding life from scratch during COVID Community support and...
info_outline- Growing up between stability and sudden upheaval
- How bullying shaped her fear of physical harm
- The pressures of being a “smart girl” and eldest daughter
- Drinking, club life, and the escape it offered
- The unexpected loss of her father and her emotional shutdown
- How unprocessed grief followed her into adulthood
- The role of community in rebuilding her academic life
- The complicated balance of identity, expectations, and survival
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