Infertility and the Shame, Secrecy, and Guilt That Haunts You
IVF Failed You - The "So Now What?" Podcast
Release Date: 07/16/2025
The Grief Plateau After IVF Failed
IVF Failed You - The "So Now What?" Podcast
When IVF ends without a baby, life does not always fall apart. Sometimes it goes quiet. You may still be showing up to work, keeping plans, and getting through your days, yet something feels off. You are functioning, but not fully connected to your life. In this episode of The âSo Now What?â Podcast, you are introduced to the concept of a grief plateau and why it is so common for women who are childless not by choice after infertility and IVF failed. A grief plateau explains why life can feel paused after fertility treatments end. Not dramatic grief. Not constant sadness. But a flat, stuck...
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Childfree or Childless? You Get to Decide What That Means
IVF Failed You - The "So Now What?" Podcast
Childfree or Childless? You Get to Decide What That Means If you donât have kids, youâve probably noticed the words childfree and childless everywhere. They show up on social media, in podcasts, in articles, in movies, and in conversations about womenâs lives after infertility. And even if no one has ever asked you directly how you identify, youâve likely felt something when you hear those terms used. Maybe you pause. Maybe you feel tension. Maybe you think, I donât know how I feel about that. In this episode of The âSo Now What?â Podcast, you slow that moment down and look at...
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Post-Traumatic Growth After Infertility
IVF Failed You - The "So Now What?" Podcast
What Happens When the Future You Planned Doesnât Happen When fertility treatments end without a baby, you donât just grieve the child you hoped for. You grieve the future you were building your life around. In this episode of The So Now What? Podcast, you explore post-traumatic growth after infertility and why it matters for women who are childless not by choice. Not in a toxic-positivity way. Not as a lesson you were supposed to learn. But as a way to understand what happens after years of trying, waiting, and living in a fertility holding pattern. If youâve ever thought, Iâm not the...
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Childless After Infertility and Growing Older: Moving From Fear to Intention
IVF Failed You - The "So Now What?" Podcast
If youâre childless after infertility and growing older feels unsettling, this episode invites you to move from fear to intention and imagine a future that feels grounded and meaningful. Childlessness after infertility and growing older can bring up fears you never expected to carry. When motherhood didnât happen, aging is often framed as something to brace for rather than something you get to shape. In this episode of The âSo Now What?â Podcast, youâre invited to move from fear to intention as you explore what it means to grow older without children, reconnect with your body after...
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When IVF Failed and Time Didnât Fix It: Healing the Loss of Motherhood
IVF Failed You - The "So Now What?" Podcast
When IVF Failed and Time Didnât Fix It: Healing the Loss of Motherhood You were told time would heal this. That if you just waited long enough, the pain of leaving IVF without a baby would soften. That eventually the anger, loneliness, and grief around the dream of motherhood would fade on their own. But if youâre childless after infertility, you already know the truth. The calendar didnât fix it. In this episode of The âSo Now What?â Podcast, you explore why time alone doesnât heal the loss of motherhood when IVF failed and why that doesnât mean something is wrong with you....
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Trusting Your Decision to Remain Childless After Infertility
IVF Failed You - The "So Now What?" Podcast
When you are childless after infertility, the holiday season can feel like a spotlight you never asked for. Everyone has an opinion about your fertility decisions. Everyone has a suggestion about what you should have done. And somehow every gathering becomes an open invitation for people to ask about baby news, adoption, donor eggs, or why you stopped trying. In this weekâs episode, you learn how to stay grounded, confident, and steady when holiday opinions collide with the decisions you made after IVF Failed. You discover how to trust your intuition again and how to walk into December...
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How Childless Women Can Navigate the Holidays Ahead
IVF Failed You - The "So Now What?" Podcast
Episode 192: How Childless Women Can Navigate the Holidays Ahead The holiday season can feel emotionally heavy when youâre childless after infertility. In this episode, Lana explains why Thanksgiving and Christmas can stir up overwhelm, anxiety, numbness, and confusion when you always imagined this season with a child of your own. Youâll learn how your brain and nervous system respond during this time of year, why nothing about your reaction means youâre doing anything wrong, and how to feel more grounded and supported as the holidays approach. The holidays can feel complicated when...
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How to Feel Like You Belong Again When You Are Childless After Infertility
IVF Failed You - The "So Now What?" Podcast
How to Feel Like You Belong Again When You Are Childless After Infertility If you have ever walked into a room and instantly wondered where you fit, this episode is going to speak directly to you. When you are childless after infertility or you are still in the middle of your fertility journey, it can feel like everyone around you is living a chapter you hoped would be yours. Conversations about kids, family schedules and milestones can leave you feeling two inches outside the circle and unsure how to take your place in the room. In this episode, you learn why this happens and how to reconnect...
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Infertility and Imposter Syndrome- When You Wonder If You Really Belong
IVF Failed You - The "So Now What?" Podcast
Infertility and Imposter Syndrome- When You Wonder If You Really Belong Have you ever walked into a room and instantly questioned whether you belonged there? That is exactly what happened to me t at the annual meeting of the American Society for Reproductive Medicine (ASRM) in San Antonio. I was surrounded by fertility doctors, clinic directors, psychologists, and researchers, all experts in reproductive medicine. And for a moment, that familiar voice whispered, Who do you think you are? In this episode, I am taking you behind the scenes of what it felt like to show up as a woman who...
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Childless After Infertility: The Shift That Changes Everything
IVF Failed You - The "So Now What?" Podcast
Episode 189 | Childless After Infertility: The Shift That Changes Everything What if you could stop living in regret after infertility and start creating a life that feels amazing to wake up to? In this episode of The âSo Now What?â Podcast, Lana Manikowski shares the realization that changed everything: the moment she stopped identifying as a victim of infertility and began shaping a new story for her life after IVF failed. If you have ever wondered whether it is possible to feel fulfilled without motherhood, this episode will show you how. You will learn how to shift your mindset from...
info_outlineIf you are a woman who is childless not by choice, you know the heartbreak of infertility does not end when treatments stop. You might still feel like shame and guilt are following you around every day.
In this episode, you will hear why infertility shame and secrecy can stay with you for years after IVF or other fertility treatments. Lana shares insights from a 1998 doctoral thesis that described shame as the central emotion of infertility and explains why so little has changed in how women feel about themselves today.
You will discover how guilt convinces you that infertility was your fault, how secrecy keeps you isolated, and why infertility does not define your worth or your future.
If you are tired of feeling like you failed or like you are living life on the sidelines, this conversation will help you imagine how thriving after infertility is possible for you.
In This Episode, You Will Learn
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Why shame is often the hidden part of infertility no one talks about
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How guilt after IVF or failed fertility treatments can feel like punishment
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What happens when secrecy becomes your coping mechanism
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A client story showing how she went from feeling invisible to creating a life she is proud of
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How infertility coaching can help you rebuild your identity and confidence without children
Ready to Thrive After Infertility?
You do not have to keep guessing how to feel like yourself again after infertility. That is exactly what the Thrive Method is for.
Inside Thrive After Infertility, you will learn how to:
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Rebuild confidence in who you are without motherhood as your identity
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Reconnect with your partner and friendships you have been avoiding
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Create milestones that bring purpose and joy to your next decades
If you are ready to stop living in guilt and shame and start creating a life you love, book your free 45-minute Thrive Call.
đ Links and Resources
đ Download your free guide:
The Top 27 Things People Say When You Are Childless (and How to Respond Authentically)
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đ Explore Thrive After Infertility:
Learn more about the 12-week coaching program for women who are ready to thrive without the children they dreamed of.
Explore the program
đŹ Book Your Thrive Call:
Create a plan to rebuild your identity and find clarity about what is next.
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