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Your Infertility Journey: How to Stop Explaining It

IVF Failed You - The "So Now What?" Podcast

Release Date: 08/08/2025

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IVF Failed You - The "So Now What?" Podcast

If you’ve ever felt like friendships got harder after infertility, you’re not imagining it. When IVF failed and your life didn’t include children, you didn’t just lose the dream of motherhood. You also lost the built-in ways friendships often form. No school drop-offs. No sports schedules. No automatic community. So now you’re left wondering… how do you actually make meaningful friendships as a childless woman? In this episode, you hear a real, honest conversation about what it looks like to create connection when your life doesn’t follow the traditional path. 💛 What You’ll...

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IVF Failed You - The "So Now What?" Podcast

If you went through IVF or fertility treatments and didn’t leave with a baby, you already know this part of the story. The treatments end… and then what? No follow-up. No plan. No one checking in to ask how you’re doing after years of trying. In this episode, you hear the truth that so many women experience but rarely say out loud. When fertility treatment ends without a baby, you are often left to figure out your life on your own. You’ll hear why this gap in care exists, how it impacts women who are childless after infertility, and most importantly, how you now have the opportunity to...

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IVF Failed You - The "So Now What?" Podcast

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Rebuilding Trust With Your Body After Infertility When IVF Failed (with Holly Perkins) When IVF failed and fertility treatments ended without a baby, you did not just lose a dream. You often lost trust in your body. After years of hormones, medical procedures, weight changes, and emotional whiplash, it can feel almost impossible to want to care for yourself again. Movement can feel loaded. Exercise can feel like punishment. And sometimes the quiet thought underneath it all is: Why should I take care of you? In Episode 200, you are getting a grounded, practical conversation about rebuilding...

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IVF Failed You - The "So Now What?" Podcast

When you’re childless after IVF failed, life can look steady on the outside. You go to work. You answer emails. You show up to events. You keep functioning. But inside, something feels different. You might find yourself thinking, “I don’t know how to enjoy being me anymore.” When fertility treatments end without a baby, people assume the hardest part is over. The injections stop. The appointments end. The constant waiting slows down. But when you’re childless after IVF failed, this is often when the identity questions begin. Who am I now? What does my future look like? How do I build...

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IVF Failed You - The "So Now What?" Podcast

When IVF ends without a baby, life does not always fall apart. Sometimes it goes quiet. You may still be showing up to work, keeping plans, and getting through your days, yet something feels off. You are functioning, but not fully connected to your life. In this episode of The “So Now What?” Podcast, you are introduced to the concept of a grief plateau and why it is so common for women who are childless not by choice after infertility and IVF failed. A grief plateau explains why life can feel paused after fertility treatments end. Not dramatic grief. Not constant sadness. But a flat, stuck...

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IVF Failed You - The "So Now What?" Podcast

Childfree or Childless? You Get to Decide What That Means If you don’t have kids, you’ve probably noticed the words childfree and childless everywhere. They show up on social media, in podcasts, in articles, in movies, and in conversations about women’s lives after infertility. And even if no one has ever asked you directly how you identify, you’ve likely felt something when you hear those terms used. Maybe you pause. Maybe you feel tension. Maybe you think, I don’t know how I feel about that. In this episode of The “So Now What?” Podcast, you slow that moment down and look at...

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IVF Failed You - The "So Now What?" Podcast

What Happens When the Future You Planned Doesn’t Happen When fertility treatments end without a baby, you don’t just grieve the child you hoped for. You grieve the future you were building your life around. In this episode of The So Now What? Podcast, you explore post-traumatic growth after infertility and why it matters for women who are childless not by choice. Not in a toxic-positivity way. Not as a lesson you were supposed to learn. But as a way to understand what happens after years of trying, waiting, and living in a fertility holding pattern. If you’ve ever thought, I’m not the...

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If you’re childless after infertility and growing older feels unsettling, this episode invites you to move from fear to intention and imagine a future that feels grounded and meaningful. Childlessness after infertility and growing older can bring up fears you never expected to carry. When motherhood didn’t happen, aging is often framed as something to brace for rather than something you get to shape. In this episode of The “So Now What?” Podcast, you’re invited to move from fear to intention as you explore what it means to grow older without children, reconnect with your body after...

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IVF Failed You - The "So Now What?" Podcast

When IVF Failed and Time Didn’t Fix It: Healing the Loss of Motherhood You were told time would heal this. That if you just waited long enough, the pain of leaving IVF without a baby would soften. That eventually the anger, loneliness, and grief around the dream of motherhood would fade on their own. But if you’re childless after infertility, you already know the truth. The calendar didn’t fix it. In this episode of The “So Now What?” Podcast, you explore why time alone doesn’t heal the loss of motherhood when IVF failed and why that doesn’t mean something is wrong with you....

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Your Infertility Journey: How to Stop Explaining It

If you are childless after infertility, you have probably been on both sides of the spectrum: staying silent because you do not have the words or emotional energy to talk about your journey, and then overexplaining to justify that you “did enough” to try to become a mom.

In this episode of The So Now What? Podcast, we talk about the exhausting pressure to explain why you did not keep going with fertility treatments, adoption, or donor eggs, and how to protect your peace when people ask intrusive questions.

I share a personal passage from Chapter 1 of my bestselling book So Now What? about the moment I learned my final embryo was not viable, and how that phone call ended my fertility journey but not my life.

You will learn why the way you tell your story is one of the most powerful tools you have, and how you can start telling it in a way that feels true, peaceful, and rooted in who you are now as a woman without children.

This is the exact work I do with my clients inside Thrive After Infertility. I help you reclaim your story, stop overexplaining, and feel confident and proud in conversations about your life, even when it turned out differently than you dreamed.

In this episode, you will learn:

  • The two extremes: staying silent vs. overexplaining your childlessness

  • Why overexplaining feels like putting your pain on trial

  • How to stop offering your grief as “evidence” to be believed

  • A real-life excerpt from my book So Now What?

  • How to start telling your story on your terms without apology

  • Why this shift changes how you feel about yourself in every room you walk into

Links from this episode:

If you are ready to create a life you love without the children you dreamed of and finally feel rooted, confident, and proud of who you are, I can help you get there.