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Your Infertility Journey: How to Stop Explaining It

IVF Failed You - The "So Now What?" Podcast

Release Date: 08/08/2025

The Story a Childless, Infertile Woman Tells show art The Story a Childless, Infertile Woman Tells

IVF Failed You - The "So Now What?" Podcast

How to tell your story with pride when IVF failed and you are living childless after infertility.  When IVF fails and motherhood did not happen, it is so easy to feel like your only option is to hide. You spent years doing everything you possibly could—fertility treatments, doctors’ appointments, lifestyle changes, endless waiting. You gave your body, your money, your heart, and your time to the dream of becoming a mom. And despite all of it, you find yourself living childless after infertility. In those moments, it can feel impossible to talk about what really happened. Maybe you...

info_outline Sadness and Infertility: When It Feels Uncomfortable show art Sadness and Infertility: When It Feels Uncomfortable

IVF Failed You - The "So Now What?" Podcast

When IVF fails and you’re childless after infertility, people often try to cheer you up with “at least you can…” comments. But what these comments really reveal is how uncomfortable our society is with sadness. In this episode, I share how a recent injury reminded me of that cultural reflex, why sadness is not a flaw, and how you can create room for both grief and growth as a childless woman. Plus: details on my free class September 17 and my World Childless Week panel on September 20, Rediscovering Your Identity as a Childless Woman. Sadness and Infertility: When It Feels...

info_outline IVF Failed: Calm Your Brain and Find Peace when Childless show art IVF Failed: Calm Your Brain and Find Peace when Childless

IVF Failed You - The "So Now What?" Podcast

When IVF fails, your brain can feel like the enemy, spiraling with infertility triggers, constant comparison, and the grief of being childless after infertility. In this episode, you will discover why your brain reacts this way when fertility treatments do not work, and three simple practices to begin calming your mind and finding peace. Have you ever felt fine one moment, and then a single pregnancy announcement, bump photo, or piece of unsolicited advice left you spiraling? If IVF failed you and you are now childless, your brain may feel like the enemy. But the truth is, your brain is just...

info_outline Childless Legacy – How to Create One show art Childless Legacy – How to Create One

IVF Failed You - The "So Now What?" Podcast

Episode 181: Childless Legacy – How to Create One If you are childless after infertility, what kind of legacy are you leaving? When IVF, IUI, or years of trying to conceive did not lead to the family you dreamed of, it can feel like your story has nowhere to go. Like your legacy disappeared along with the possibility of motherhood. But what if you could create a legacy that does not depend on having a child? In this episode of The “So Now What?” Podcast, Lana shares a deeply personal reflection on what legacy really means when you are childless not by choice. Inspired by her...

info_outline Infertility and Othering: When You Don’t Belong show art Infertility and Othering: When You Don’t Belong

IVF Failed You - The "So Now What?" Podcast

Infertility and Othering: When You Don’t Belong Have you ever walked into a room and instantly thought, “I’m the only one here without kids”? That sinking feeling in your body is what is known as othering. Othering happens when you are seen, or you see yourself, as separate because you do not fit a societal mold. If you are childless after infertility or your IVF journey ended without the child you dreamed of, you know how often othering can happen. You get left out of conversations, your life experiences are dismissed, or someone makes a comment that forces you to explain why you do...

info_outline Your Infertility Journey: How to Stop Explaining It show art Your Infertility Journey: How to Stop Explaining It

IVF Failed You - The "So Now What?" Podcast

Your Infertility Journey: How to Stop Explaining It If you are childless after infertility, you have probably been on both sides of the spectrum: staying silent because you do not have the words or emotional energy to talk about your journey, and then overexplaining to justify that you “did enough” to try to become a mom. In this episode of The So Now What? Podcast, we talk about the exhausting pressure to explain why you did not keep going with fertility treatments, adoption, or donor eggs, and how to protect your peace when people ask intrusive questions. I share a personal passage from...

info_outline IVF Without a Pregnancy — No One Saw You Trying show art IVF Without a Pregnancy — No One Saw You Trying

IVF Failed You - The "So Now What?" Podcast

What if the hardest part of infertility wasn’t just the treatments… but the fact that no one even knew how hard you tried? In this episode of The "So Now What?" Podcast, we’re talking about an overlooked reality: what it feels like to go through years of IVF and fertility treatments and never even get a positive pregnancy test. No bump. No loss others can see. Just you, quietly rearranging your life around the hope of motherhood… with nothing to show for it when it didn’t work. This is for you if you’re childless after infertility and have felt the sting of being dismissed,...

info_outline Friendships When You're the Only Childless One show art Friendships When You're the Only Childless One

IVF Failed You - The "So Now What?" Podcast

You love your friends. You’ve grown up together, lived through milestones, and shared so many memories. But now they’re raising kids, and you’re navigating life after infertility. You’re the only one in the group chat without a child, and suddenly, the conversations feel distant. Do you go and feel left out? Or do you stay home and feel even more alone? In this episode of The "So Now What?" Podcast, Lana shares the story of reuniting with three of her closest college friends (all moms) and what it now feels like to show up to these friendships as a proud, childless woman. Years ago,...

info_outline Infertility and the Shame, Secrecy, and Guilt That Haunts You show art Infertility and the Shame, Secrecy, and Guilt That Haunts You

IVF Failed You - The "So Now What?" Podcast

If you are a woman who is childless not by choice, you know the heartbreak of infertility does not end when treatments stop. You might still feel like shame and guilt are following you around every day. In this episode, you will hear why infertility shame and secrecy can stay with you for years after IVF or other fertility treatments. Lana shares insights from a 1998 doctoral thesis that described shame as the central emotion of infertility and explains why so little has changed in how women feel about themselves today. You will discover how guilt convinces you that infertility was your fault,...

info_outline Childless After IVF: When the Path to Your Dreams Feels Impossible show art Childless After IVF: When the Path to Your Dreams Feels Impossible

IVF Failed You - The "So Now What?" Podcast

If you have spent years going through fertility treatments like IVF, pouring everything into your dream of motherhood, and still found yourself without a child, you know how heavy it feels to imagine a future that could ever feel as meaningful. In this week’s episode, Lana shares a deeply personal story about standing on a piece of vacant land in Michigan, a place she and her husband dreamed of building their future home, and realizing that the path to something beautiful isn't coming without obstacles. If you’re childless after infertility, it’s so easy to believe your life will always...

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Your Infertility Journey: How to Stop Explaining It

If you are childless after infertility, you have probably been on both sides of the spectrum: staying silent because you do not have the words or emotional energy to talk about your journey, and then overexplaining to justify that you “did enough” to try to become a mom.

In this episode of The So Now What? Podcast, we talk about the exhausting pressure to explain why you did not keep going with fertility treatments, adoption, or donor eggs, and how to protect your peace when people ask intrusive questions.

I share a personal passage from Chapter 1 of my bestselling book So Now What? about the moment I learned my final embryo was not viable, and how that phone call ended my fertility journey but not my life.

You will learn why the way you tell your story is one of the most powerful tools you have, and how you can start telling it in a way that feels true, peaceful, and rooted in who you are now as a woman without children.

This is the exact work I do with my clients inside Thrive After Infertility. I help you reclaim your story, stop overexplaining, and feel confident and proud in conversations about your life, even when it turned out differently than you dreamed.

In this episode, you will learn:

  • The two extremes: staying silent vs. overexplaining your childlessness

  • Why overexplaining feels like putting your pain on trial

  • How to stop offering your grief as “evidence” to be believed

  • A real-life excerpt from my book So Now What?

  • How to start telling your story on your terms without apology

  • Why this shift changes how you feel about yourself in every room you walk into

Links from this episode:

If you are ready to create a life you love without the children you dreamed of and finally feel rooted, confident, and proud of who you are, I can help you get there.