EP 236: The Art of Receiving and Giving - The Wheel of Consent with Dr. Betty Martin

Kimberly is joined by luminary thinker Dr. Betty Martin as they discuss the evolution and impact of the Wheel of Consent, a vanguard model for enthusiastic consent, asking for what you want, and living out embodied intimacy. Dr. Martin, who developed the model, shares her journey from creating the wheel through her hands-on workshops to writing a book so the wheel may reach an even larger audience, with Kimberly noting just how deep of an impact Betty’s work has had on Kimberly’s teaching and offerings. They explore the challenges of enthusiastic consent, the importance of feeling with one's hands, and the universal nature, as well as the cultural nuances, of touch and sex. Betty emphasizes the need for accurate teaching and the development of the wheel of consent in various fields, including therapy, businesses and social justice. The conversation highlights the significance of embodiment and the incomparable emotional impact of present and thoughtful touch.

 

Bio

Dr. Betty Martin spent her childhood in a large family and her youth in experimental communities, learning about people in more groups than she can count. Founding a co-housing community with countless hours of meetings taught her the value of excellent facilitation. Now she enjoys helping others learn the skills she picked up along the way. 

She graduated Chiropractic College in 1976 and practiced for almost 30 years, including several body-mind integration modalities. She has taught Peer Counseling for teens and adults, Educational Kinesiology and other bodywork for professionals, sexuality workshops for women, gender liberation, and boundary and communication workshops of many flavors, including Cuddle Party.

After retiring from her Chiropractic practice on Vashon Island, she moved into Seattle and opened a private practice as a relationship and intimacy coach, where she guided people through somatic experiences, sometimes erotic and sometimes not, so they could learn how to be comfortable in their own skin and experience pleasure in ways that supported their development. 

It was during those years of working with hundreds of people that she noticed and developed the Wheel of Consent, a practice and a model of taking apart receiving and giving. She started sharing her experience with other practitioners and developed the 5-day training, Like a Pro, focusing on the Wheel, communication and professional standards. 

In 2018 she co-founded the School of Consent, where she has trained numerous facilitators of Wheel of Consent workshops, and a handful of faculty to teach Like a Pro. She is happily handing over teaching to those she has trained, and these days contributes to other organizations’ trainings and presents to various professional groups. She also enjoys offering supervision and mentoring to practitioners.

She once again lives in community and is the proud mom of 3 and grandma of 2.

What You’ll Hear

• Dr. Martin’s background in chiropractic, body-mind integration modalities, and her development of the wheel of consent

• Betty’s 13 year writing process and how her clients led her to constantly evolve her concepts for the book

• The development of the Three-Minute Game the value of taking turns and asking for what you want

• Why receiving can often be harder than giving.

• The importance of touch and attention to intimacy

• Why training new teachers is so important to Dr. Martin

• They discuss cultural differences as it relates to touch and sex

• The emergence of the term enthusiastic consent

• The reach of The Wheel of Consent from relationships to communities to businesses to social movements

• The exercise of waking up the hands to improve ability to feel with them

 

Resources

Website: https://www.wheelofconsent.org/

Ig: @drbettymartin

Book: https://www.wheelofconsent.org/thebook

Activate Your Inner Jaguar: Sexuality and the Nervous System sign up link is here