221: Why I Work with Affair Couples as Individuals
Your Secret Is Safe With Me
Working with couples separately might seem counterintuitive when challenges arise. The dominant cultural narrative tells us that relationship problems require both partners in the same room with a therapist, working through issues together. But what if this approach actually reinforces the very dynamics that create unnecessary suffering in relationships? I regularly get asked if I work with affair couples, and the answer is absolutely yes - but not in the traditional couples counseling format. Instead, I work with affair partners concurrently but separately. This approach has...
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220: Vacillating Between Two Relationships
Your Secret Is Safe With Me
Going back and forth between two relationships can feel like being trapped in an endless ping-pong match. One moment you're certain about choosing your spouse, the next you're convinced your affair partner is the one. This exhausting cycle of changing your mind (sometimes within hours or even minutes) can leave you wondering if there's something fundamentally wrong with you. When you're caught between two people you genuinely care about, the act of choosing becomes surprisingly complex. I work with many clients who know they want to be in just one relationship, but they're...
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219: Thriving After Infidelity: Michael’s Story
Your Secret Is Safe With Me
Maybe you're in the midst of an affair, paralyzed by guilt and uncertainty. Maybe you're losing sleep, watching your health decline, and feeling like there's no good way out. Today, I want to share a remarkable story that might change how you see what's possible. The guilt was unbearable. Michael couldn't sleep, his health was declining, and he felt trapped between two worlds - a marriage that had become a roommate situation and memories of an affair that had awakened something he'd been missing for years. This week, I’m joined by my client Michael, who courageously...
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218: Creating the Future vs. Predicting the Future
Your Secret Is Safe With Me
You're already making plans for tomorrow without knowing if the internet will crash, your dog will have an emergency, or an earthquake will hit. You're creating your future every single day, despite life's fundamental uncertainty. Yet when it comes to your infidelity situation, you might be waiting for a crystal ball to show you exactly how things will turn out before making any moves. So many people tell me they need to know what divorce feels like before deciding to get divorced, or they need 90% certainty their decision will work out well. They're looking for guarantees that...
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217: The Perils of Telling the Truth
Your Secret Is Safe With Me
Have you ever felt proud of yourself for telling the truth… only to later wonder if you should have approached it differently? We often think of truth-telling as an absolute good - something that's always right and beneficial. But what if I told you that, sometimes, the truth we choose to tell isn't necessarily the most important or useful truth in a situation? This week, I share a story about how a dead rat smell in a yoga studio became the catalyst for a profound lesson about truth-telling, and how my well-intentioned truth-telling may have inadvertently created more problems...
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216: When Your Affair Partner Breaks Your Heart
Your Secret Is Safe With Me
Have you ever had someone walk out of your life without warning, only to reappear months later as if nothing happened? It's complicated enough when it happens in regular relationships. But when it involves an affair partner, the complexity multiplies tenfold. This kind of heartbreak hits differently when the relationship itself existed in secrecy, making the grief even more isolating. Join me this week as I tackle the heart-wrenching reality of what happens when an affair partner breaks your heart - and the even more complicated question of what to do if they come back....
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215: Secretly Dating While You’re Married
Your Secret Is Safe With Me
Have you ever thought about "checking out your options" before making a big relationship decision? It seems logical, right? Why make a life-changing choice without knowing what else is out there? When you're married but questioning whether you want to stay that way, the unknown can feel paralyzing. Join me this week as I dive into why people choose to secretly date while married and what actually happens when they do. Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here:
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214: What If You Make the “Wrong Decision” About Your Relationship(s)?
Your Secret Is Safe With Me
Have you ever been paralyzed by the fear of making the "wrong" decision about your relationship(s)? Maybe you're considering leaving your marriage, ending an affair, or making another significant change in your relationship status. And maybe the fear of regret is keeping you stuck. Making major relationship decisions can feel like standing at the edge of a cliff, knowing that once you jump, there's no going back. In this episode, I break down exactly what to do when you find yourself living with relationship decisions you don't like, and share practical steps for...
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213: Beginnings and Endings
Your Secret Is Safe With Me
Is it really okay to end something that's working well? After much consideration, I've decided to pause production of Your Secret is Safe With Me indefinitely while I pursue new creative endeavors. This decision wasn't made because anything is wrong—quite the opposite. My experience with this transition mirrors what many of my clients face in their relationships and life choices. There's often a belief that we shouldn't end something that's "good enough" or that we must finish everything we've started. But what if the most faithful act to ourselves is allowing evolution,...
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212: Choosing Between Two Good Things
Your Secret Is Safe With Me
Have you ever felt stuck between two good choices? Through my personal story of leaving a life I loved to join the Peace Corps, I illustrate how choosing between two good things - while challenging - can lead to profound growth and fulfillment. If you're struggling with a decision that feels impossible because both options have value, this episode is for you. Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here:
info_outlineAre you tolerating aspects of your life and relationship situations that you shouldn't? This week, I dive into what happens when we tolerate things we don’t like, and why we so often think we have to put up with them when we don’t. Find out why so many people don’t want to acknowledge that they are tolerating things they dislike in their affair relationships, the problem with disliking something and not being willing to face it, and what you can do if you are in this scenario.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://mariemurphyphd.com/196