Beyond Success
Hello Listeners - I’m taking the podcast back to its roots as an audio-only, more improvisational show after experimenting with tightly scripted video episodes on YouTube. The new (old) format gives me more freedom to think out loud, follow ideas where they go, and focus on depth and voice over visuals. Warmly, David Tian, Ph.D.
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Most smart people reach for values when they’re under a lot of pressure or stress. It feels responsible. Grounded. Mature. But under pressure, values often do the opposite of what they’re meant to do. Instead of anchoring thinking, they shut it down. Instead of sharpening judgment, they end the inquiry. Certainty replaces contact with reality, and the relief that follows feels like clarity, even when it isn’t. This pattern didn’t come from nowhere. You learned early that sounding sure keeps you safe. Speed earns trust. Confidence gets rewarded. That lesson helped you win, but it also...
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Relativism has a seductive force behind it. It offers you short-term relief for your problems - internally, relationally, and professionally. And the worst part is that it works. For a while anyway. But relativist thinking also comes with a brutal, long-term cost: It separates you from reality! This separation is subtle. Most don’t realize it until the consequences can’t be ignored - and that takes a while. And perhaps the hardest thing to wrap your head around is that it becomes more alluring the smarter you are. In fact, this loss of calibration with reality uses your...
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A tragedy occurs when you reach a certain level of achievement: The mind starts to reorder itself for destruction instead of growth. Worst part? This happens so subtly that it goes completely unnoticed… until it’s too late. As achievements accumulate, decision quality erodes. Feedback arrives later and later, so mistakes don’t get corrected. They get built into systems and culture. By the time the error becomes clear, reversing it is costly or impossible. That’s the bad news. The good news? There’s a simple (but not easy) solution to this… but you might not like it because it...
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There’s a pattern that’s so ingrained in the human psyche that Ancient Daoism noticed it long before psychology had language for cognition. It’s a pattern that sneaks up on almost every high achiever who tastes enough success. And it subtly erodes your judgement and strangles your emotional intelligence without your realizing. Worst part? The more intelligent you are, the faster your mind crumbles your judgement. And while this pattern doesn’t usually cause immediate failure, it can lead to something far worse down the road. Here’s the good news: In today’s show,...
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When you’re just starting out in your career, the feedback loop is crystal clear. There’s a cause and effect to your actions that lead to instantaneous rewards or consequences. But the more success you achieve, the more muddled this signal becomes. And the more distorted your signal, the more stressed and burnt out you become… while your confidence and self-esteem slowly evaporate. Here’s the worst part: A muddled signal is a sign from your internal environment that it needs a software update. But it’s sneaky - fear disguises itself as prudence and internal...
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All of us were fed a certain modern promise of success: Work hard, become competent, and success follows. And you know what? Despite its flaws, it mostly works. Effort compounds. Competence pays off. Success arrives. But then something strange happened. The questions that matter most don’t go away. They get louder. Not questions about strategy or leverage. Questions about connection. Meaning. Why all of this still feels… flat. Here’s the part no one warns achievers about: The modern promise of success was never meant to answer those questions. And the more success works, the more...
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If you base your entire identity around achievement, as many high achievers do, the consequences can turn fatal - internally. While building an identity around achievement can work in the short-term, you must eventually face the reality: A big part of your drive to achieve is deeply rooted in fear. This fear creates an internal friction that steals joy and presence from your life and gives you anxiety and disconnection and shame instead. But what if you could experience life without the constant grip of fear? The good news is you can get rid of it. The solution sounds quite simple, but...
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Most high achievers aren't limited by a lack of talent or lack of opportunity. They're limited by the tension they carry inside their own nervous systems. This low-grade tension drains your energy and leads to burn out, it flattens your relationships and leads to heartbreak, it blurs your decision-making and leads to humiliation. So, where does this tension even come from? Your conscience. Each time you betray your values, your nervous system takes note and interprets it as internal chaos, which unleashes a slew of biological disadvantages: Cortisol ramps up, sleep gets...
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Most people who listen to this show don’t think of themselves as “high achievers.” They think of themselves as people who should be further ahead by now. They’ve lived with low-grade panic for so long, they don’t notice it anymore. But that pressure isn’t proof that you’re failing. It’s a signal: your Internal Operating System is overdue for an upgrade. In today’s episode, I break down the 7 Phase Inner Leadership Blueprint. It shows you why your old patterns bleed into every part of your life… how your current operating system was formed long before you took on real...
info_outlineMost people treat fear as the enemy. They avoid it, numb it, or try to silence it. But here’s the truth: fear isn’t the problem. Fear is the forge where courage is born.
Every meaningful step in life requires it. Asking for the promotion. Saying what you actually want in a relationship. Telling the truth when it risks your reputation.
Without courage, integrity collapses. Relationships stay shallow. Careers stall. And fulfillment slips further out of reach.
In this new episode, David reveals why courage isn’t about being fearless, but about acting even while fear screams at you to run. You’ll hear how our deepest protective patterns—whether in love or leadership—form around fear, and why they keep us stuck until we summon the courage to face them.
Drawing on ancient wisdom, modern psychology, and real-world client stories, David explains how courage creates the self-trust, stability, and intimacy that fulfillment demands. And he offers practical steps to start cultivating courage daily—through mapping your fears, practicing small acts of bravery, and surrounding yourself with peers who lift you higher.
The life you’ve been chasing doesn’t require perfection. It requires courage. Because without it, you’re destined for mediocrity. With it, you finally open the door to growth, connection, and a life worth living.
Listen now.
Show Highlights Include:
- How fear stalls your career, keeps relationships shallow, and slowly erodes your self-worth (and how to stop letting fear control your life) (1:23)
- The twisted way avoiding your fear makes you feel them 10x worse (5:39)
- Why waiting for your fear to disappear is a losing strategy (and how to hone your fears to build courage) (7:33)
- How to guarantee your life is nothing but mediocrity (and the ONLY path to true greatness) (12:05)
- How fear can either expand your life or shrink your existence (15:19)
- The “Progressive Overload” secret for building your courageous muscle slowly over time (instead of burning out paralyzed by fear) (16:22)
- How simply hanging around more courageous people can quickly ramp up your own courage (20:26)
For more about David Tian, go here:
https://www.davidtianphd.com/about/
Feeling like success in one area of life has come at the expense of another?
Maybe you’ve crushed it in your career, but your relationships feel strained. Or you’ve built the life you thought you wanted, yet there’s still something important missing.
I’ve put together a free 3-minute assessment to help you see what’s really holding you back. Answer a few simple questions, and you’ll get instant access to a personalized masterclass that speaks directly to where you are right now.
It’s fast. It’s practical. And it could change the way you approach leadership, love, and fulfillment.
Take the first step here → https://dtphd.com/quiz