MFP 297: Expectations in Marriage
Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family
Release Date: 08/19/2024
MPF 319: How Husbands Lead
Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family
Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord. Eph 6:4 In this episode of the Messy Family Podcast, hosts Mike and Alicia Hernon celebrate their 10th year of the podcast and introduce the new studio, setting the stage for a discussion on fatherhood and leadership in the home. They emphasize that while fathers are called by God to lead, many struggle to understand what that truly means in a world that often undermines their role. True leadership is not about domination but about serving, sacrificing, and guiding with love, following...
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MPF 318: Families as Missionaries
Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family
Families don’t just have a mission, they ARE a mission! Summary When we hear “missionary” many of us automatically think of a single person serving in a third world country. Then we think, “not me!” But the reality is that all Catholics are called by their baptism to spread the good news of Jesus throughout the world. We do that first and foremost in our homes, through the pastoral care of our spouse and children, but there are other ways we can spread the Good News to the world. In this podcast, we interview Tim and Maggie Glemkowski, parents with a...
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MFP 317: Who are These Messy Families? 2024 Survey Summary
Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family
Summary Since 2018 we have been doing surveys of our listeners to find out who you are, how we can serve you more, and what your needs are. We have never shared this information with our listeners until now! Over the years we have had thousands of listeners take this survey and it's interesting to see what has remained the same and what has changed. We thought it would be encouraging to you to hear that you are not alone! The struggles that you have told us about are shared by other moms and dads too. Listen in as we talk about the make-up of most of our...
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MFP 316: A Manual for Catholic Families
Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family
“Catholic parenting is above all a work of grace” - Fr. Carter Griffin We often say there is no manual for being a parent, but this book comes pretty close! In this podcast, we interview the author of Forming Families, Forming Saints Fr. Carter Griffin. Fr. Griffin has worked for years forming young men into priests in the seminary setting. In doing so, he saw many similarities between what he was doing with young men and what parents were doing at home. The four pillars of formation in the seminary - human, intellectual, spiritual, and apostolic - can be applied in...
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MFP 315: 10 Things to Stop Doing in 2025
Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family
At the beginning of 2025 we want to challenge parents to step back and reassess their approach to family life by diving into 10 Things to Stop Doing in 2025. Are you focusing too much on your kids? Caught up in the frantic pace of life? Trying to "fix" your spouse or juggle it all? Let us give you some heartfelt encouragement to let go of habits that create stress, disconnection, and overwhelm. We guarantee this episode is packed with insights that will inspire you to parent with purpose and peace. Let’s start the year by simplifying, slowing down, and focusing on what really...
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MPF 314: Seasons of Prayer for Parents
Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family
“Be patient with everyone, but above all with yourself. I mean do not be disheartened by your imperfections, but always rise up with fresh courage” - St. Francis deSales Summary What God asks of us as parents is beyond our ability. We are all in need of God’s grace and that comes through prayer! Now, before you think, “I do not have time for prayer….” take a pause and listen to this episode. First, remember, we have been there! We had 3 kids under 3, 7 kids under 10 and then 10 under 16! We know that the crazy pace of life can make us feel like we can never...
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MPF 313: Surviving the Holidays with Grace
Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family
Kids will not always remember what you say, they will remember how they felt. Summary We have talked about the time between Thanksgiving and New Year’s being the “Momolympics”, a time when there are tons of things to buy, make, prepare, plan, and basically the happiness of your children all depends on you (at least we feel that way!) How can parents embrace the holidays with children with grace and excitement? How can we keep in mind what is truly important for our family? In this episode we give some principles, but also LOTS of practical advice as we look...
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MPF 312: The Well Ordered Family
Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family
Graces can flow into your home when nature is in its proper place. - Connor Gallagher, The Well-Ordered Family Summary Do you yearn for more order and clarity within your family? Is the chaos and busyness of modern life unsettling the harmony of your household? In this podcast, we interview Conor Gallagher, CEO of multiple businesses and father of sixteen, to talk to him about a transformative system that will restore peace and joy in your household. We love using business principles to improve family life, and in the Well-Ordered Family, Conor does just that! Join us...
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MFP 311: Family Roots - Mike's Irish Experience
Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family
In this episode, we dive into the beauty and power of family history. Mike shares the incredible story of his journey to Ireland—a dream rooted in a deep love for his heritage and a promise to pass it on to his children. From the ruins of his grandfather’s cottage to the windswept cliffs of the Aran Islands, the trip becomes a testament to the importance of staying connected to the past while building a legacy for the future. As we reflect on the stories of those who came before us, we’re reminded of the sacrifices and struggles that shaped who we are today. Alicia and Mike discuss how...
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MPF 310: Marriage, Teamwork, and Business - an interview with Dan and Brenda Vansteenburg
Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family
“Guided and strengthened by God’s grace, husband and wife advance their own perfection… and contribute jointly to the glory of God” ~ Gaudium et Spes Summary You should never marry someone with the idea that you can change them, but we do need to help our spouses become the best version of themselves. We all should have a vision, a belief that our spouse can be amazing and then work with them for their good. In this podcast, we hear the inspiring story of Dan and Brenda - a couple from two different families, faith backgrounds, and life philosophies. Though they were...
info_outlineHappiness is determined by our expectations…. If our expectations are modest… we will be happy; if our expectations are unrealistic, we end up disappointed.
~Bishop Anthony Taylor, Diocese of Little Rock
Summary
All of us come into our vocations with expectations. We have dreams and plans, but expectations are more like assumptions. We have our own experience and we expect that things will go a certain way. The problem is, we can’t always articulate these expectations or even realize that we have them until they are unfulfilled and this can cause conflict with our spouses. In this episode, we talk about the relationship between expectations and happiness, how to articulate our expectations, and how to have realistic expectations of our marriage as you grow. We also share on a personal level what our expectations were and how we handled things when we were newly married compared to how we are today. This podcast is really one that you want to discuss with your spouse to help you both learn how to communicate better and forge greater unity.
Key Takeaways
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Happiness is determined by our expectations and our ability to notice and rejoice in little things. If our expectations are modest, life will usually exceed our expectations and we will be happy; if our expectations are unrealistic, we end up disappointed.
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Many young couples have unrealistic expections of their spouse. They expect their spouse to do what only God can do: To meet all their needs for security, support and closeness.
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Don’t lower your standards, just make them more realistic and realize you need to grow in your communication skills to have a strong marriage.
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No matter if your expectations are fulfilled or now, always choose gratitude. There is always something to be thankful for and recognizing that is the key to happiness.
Couple Discussion Questions
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What were my expectations coming into our marriage?
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Which of these were fulfilled? Which has led to disappointment?
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What am I grateful for?
Resources
Article on Expectations and Happiness