MFP 297: Expectations in Marriage
Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family
Release Date: 08/19/2024
MPF 324: Moving from Isolation to Unity
Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family
Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. Genesis 2:24 Summary Unity between man and woman was God’s original plan, but the Fall not only broke our relationship with God, it also broke our relationship with each other. But the good news is that Jesus has given us grace in the sacrament of Matrimony so we can have a oneness in marriage that would be impossible otherwise! With unity, couples can handle anything life dishes out. Without it, even the easy things will seem hard. Couples need to...
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MPF 323: Desires, Vices, and Holiness for Parents
Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family
Vices are our disordered way of fulfilling our God-given good desires. Summary So many of us thought we were good people till we had kids, right? This is because kids expose our weaknesses and we need to be aware of them in order to overcome them. Listen in as we reveal Satan’s plan for you and lay out God’s great plan of using our rightly ordered desires to develop virtues and live according to His plan. The desires that God has put in our hearts for dignity, communion, justice, and peace are all good, but when we try to fulfill them on our own, they...
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MFP 322: Dealing with Mouthy Teens
Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family
A problem with disrespect from a child always goes back to a dysfunction in the parent-child relationship. Summary When our sweet children enter the teen years and adolescence is upon them, something happens that tends to cause parents stress and dismay - back talk and disrespect. Some of this is immaturity on the part of the child and some is simply lack of training in relationships. It is our job as parents to teach our children how to express their feelings, disagree, and even debate while maintaining an attitude of respect towards us and therefore, other people in their...
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MFP321: Fifty Years and Going Strong!
Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family
A husband and wife may disagree on many things, but they must absolutely agree on this: to never, ever give up. Summary When we did our listener survey, you asked for interviews of regular families who have raised children through to adulthood with grace and courage. Well, we have a treat for you! A few years ago we met Brian and Joanna Simpson of London ONT who have run the Family Foundations Institute for the past 25 years. They also have 9 children and over 35 grandchildren and they are a witness to the goodness of God despite difficulty and heartache. ...
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MPF 320: Super Habits for the Family
Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family
Summary Have you ever wanted to stop yelling at your kids? Be more courteous to your spouse? Or be more orderly at home? Enter Super Habits! These are not just new things for you to learn to do, these are life-changing actions that will make you happier, healthier and more successful in many areas. In this interview, we spoke to Dr. Andrew Abela, author of the book Super Habits and his wife Kathleen who explained to us how to apply this book to family life. They gave us some great insights and showed us how Super Habits can be the answer to what we all need...
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MPF 319: How Husbands Lead
Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family
Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord. Eph 6:4 In this episode of the Messy Family Podcast, hosts Mike and Alicia Hernon celebrate their 10th year of the podcast and introduce the new studio, setting the stage for a discussion on fatherhood and leadership in the home. They emphasize that while fathers are called by God to lead, many struggle to understand what that truly means in a world that often undermines their role. True leadership is not about domination but about serving, sacrificing, and guiding with love, following...
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MPF 318: Families as Missionaries
Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family
Families don’t just have a mission, they ARE a mission! Summary When we hear “missionary” many of us automatically think of a single person serving in a third world country. Then we think, “not me!” But the reality is that all Catholics are called by their baptism to spread the good news of Jesus throughout the world. We do that first and foremost in our homes, through the pastoral care of our spouse and children, but there are other ways we can spread the Good News to the world. In this podcast, we interview Tim and Maggie Glemkowski, parents with a...
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MFP 317: Who are These Messy Families? 2024 Survey Summary
Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family
Summary Since 2018 we have been doing surveys of our listeners to find out who you are, how we can serve you more, and what your needs are. We have never shared this information with our listeners until now! Over the years we have had thousands of listeners take this survey and it's interesting to see what has remained the same and what has changed. We thought it would be encouraging to you to hear that you are not alone! The struggles that you have told us about are shared by other moms and dads too. Listen in as we talk about the make-up of most of our...
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MFP 316: A Manual for Catholic Families
Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family
“Catholic parenting is above all a work of grace” - Fr. Carter Griffin We often say there is no manual for being a parent, but this book comes pretty close! In this podcast, we interview the author of Forming Families, Forming Saints Fr. Carter Griffin. Fr. Griffin has worked for years forming young men into priests in the seminary setting. In doing so, he saw many similarities between what he was doing with young men and what parents were doing at home. The four pillars of formation in the seminary - human, intellectual, spiritual, and apostolic - can be applied in...
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MFP 315: 10 Things to Stop Doing in 2025
Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family
At the beginning of 2025 we want to challenge parents to step back and reassess their approach to family life by diving into 10 Things to Stop Doing in 2025. Are you focusing too much on your kids? Caught up in the frantic pace of life? Trying to "fix" your spouse or juggle it all? Let us give you some heartfelt encouragement to let go of habits that create stress, disconnection, and overwhelm. We guarantee this episode is packed with insights that will inspire you to parent with purpose and peace. Let’s start the year by simplifying, slowing down, and focusing on what really...
info_outlineHappiness is determined by our expectations…. If our expectations are modest… we will be happy; if our expectations are unrealistic, we end up disappointed.
~Bishop Anthony Taylor, Diocese of Little Rock
Summary
All of us come into our vocations with expectations. We have dreams and plans, but expectations are more like assumptions. We have our own experience and we expect that things will go a certain way. The problem is, we can’t always articulate these expectations or even realize that we have them until they are unfulfilled and this can cause conflict with our spouses. In this episode, we talk about the relationship between expectations and happiness, how to articulate our expectations, and how to have realistic expectations of our marriage as you grow. We also share on a personal level what our expectations were and how we handled things when we were newly married compared to how we are today. This podcast is really one that you want to discuss with your spouse to help you both learn how to communicate better and forge greater unity.
Key Takeaways
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Happiness is determined by our expectations and our ability to notice and rejoice in little things. If our expectations are modest, life will usually exceed our expectations and we will be happy; if our expectations are unrealistic, we end up disappointed.
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Many young couples have unrealistic expections of their spouse. They expect their spouse to do what only God can do: To meet all their needs for security, support and closeness.
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Don’t lower your standards, just make them more realistic and realize you need to grow in your communication skills to have a strong marriage.
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No matter if your expectations are fulfilled or now, always choose gratitude. There is always something to be thankful for and recognizing that is the key to happiness.
Couple Discussion Questions
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What were my expectations coming into our marriage?
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Which of these were fulfilled? Which has led to disappointment?
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What am I grateful for?
Resources
Article on Expectations and Happiness