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MFP 306: What Teens/Tweens Really Need with Mark Hart

Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family

Release Date: 10/21/2024

MFP 339: Movies, kids, and imagination show art MFP 339: Movies, kids, and imagination

Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family

"Fairy tales do not tell children the dragons exist. Children already know that dragons exist. Fairy tales tell children the dragons can be killed." - G.K. Chesterton   Summary Movies shape more than behavior — they form the imagination, the moral compass, and the heart. Catholic parents are not merely protecting innocence; they are cultivating virtue and wonder. In this episode, we explore how stories shape our children, how to choose wisely, and how to use movies as part of a rich Catholic family culture. Jesus used stories to teach. So do we.   Key Takeaways   Here are four...

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MFP 338: Sharing the “Mental Load”? show art MFP 338: Sharing the “Mental Load”?

Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family

Motherhood changes you because it literally alters a woman’s brain—structurally, functionally, and in many ways, irreversibly. - Louann Brizendine, The Female Brain   Summary Women are gifted in a way that men are not.  Women can hold many different tasks in their mind at the same time, see the needs of others, and know the needs of the household and balance them all.  Sometimes this can feel empowering, but sometimes it's overwhelming, especially in times of great stress. In some circles, there is a call for men to share the “mental load”, but is that even...

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MFP 337: The Invincible Family show art MFP 337: The Invincible Family

Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family

“True power is not dependent upon the invented honors of earth.  True power is that which guides, shapes, carves, and claims the souls of men.  And the souls of men are most often won and lost at the feet of mothers.” - Kimberly Ells   Summary Does it feel like its harder to be a parent today than ever before? There are powers arrayed against the family - powers in secular philosophies, modern politics, and even our education system.  The roots of these forces are deep and have been growing for years, but we are just now seeing their ugly fruit.  We would like you...

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MFP 336: What Would You Say to Your Younger Self? An Interview with Suzanne Bilodeau show art MFP 336: What Would You Say to Your Younger Self? An Interview with Suzanne Bilodeau

Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family

God has selected you uniquely to be the mother for these children.  He will equip you for the work He wants you to do! Summary No one feels prepared to be a parent.  Even if you were one of the oldest of 10 kids in a Catholic family (like Alicia or Katie) or a family of 7 (like Suzanne) you can never really be ready!  The key to surviving, and even thriving, is stepping fully into your identity as a daughter of God.  All the love that we have for our spouse and children needs to come from a deep place of confident love from our Heavenly Father.  Listen in to this...

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MFP 335: Safety-ism show art MFP 335: Safety-ism

Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family

'Cause I love you more than you could know And your heart, it grows every time it breaks I know that it might sound strange But I wish you pain  - “Wish You Pain” by Andy Grammar   Summary Every parent wants to keep their kids safe, but is it possible to keep them “too safe”?  In this podcast episode we dive into the overwhelming cult of safety-ism, which makes keeping your child from all pain and suffering an idol. Children are really “antifragile” - meaning that they need to have an appropriate amount of stress physically, mentally and emotionally to be able to...

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MFP 334: An Addiction, a Marriage, and a Priest show art MFP 334: An Addiction, a Marriage, and a Priest

Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family

Our vows are for life, and we need overwhelming grace to live them out - Kevin Wells   Summary If you ever thought your marriage was in such bad shape that you simply did not know what to do, this podcast is for you.  We were so blessed to be able to talk to Kevin Wells, the author of The Hermit: The Priest Who Saved a Soul, a Marriage, and a Family.  This interview is deep because Kevin and his wife Krista have been through the fire together and it is only by the grace of God that they both survived.  Our discussion includes the indissolubility of the marriage vows, how...

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MFP 333:  The Family Meeting show art MFP 333: The Family Meeting

Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family

What is the rhythm of leadership in your family?   Summary Every relationship relies on communication, but when you operate as a family with many members, communication can become difficult!  Kids can get lost in the chaos, plans get forgotten, chores undone, and mom and dad are constantly putting out fires.  In comes the miracle of the Family Meeting!  Well, let’s rephrase that… A family meeting will not solve ALL your problems but it is a great step forward in leading your family and living life intentionally.  In this podcast, we discuss the REAL purpose of a...

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MFP 332: The Seven Marks of Christian Forgiveness show art MFP 332: The Seven Marks of Christian Forgiveness

Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family

If forgiveness isn’t hard, you aren’t doing it right - Dan Meola Summary  Many parents struggle with their children--not because of the kids, but because of the wounds they are carrying from their own parents.  The only path for healing those wounds is forgiveness.  But how do we forgive, especially when the hurts are deep and real?  In this podcast we sat down with Dan Meola, the founder of Life Giving Wounds, a ministry for adult children of divorce.  We talked about the importance of forgiveness,  what it is--and what it is not.  To define true...

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MFP 331: Let’s Talk About Husbands! Listener questions answered show art MFP 331: Let’s Talk About Husbands! Listener questions answered

Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family

“If we accept that God’s love is unconditional, that the Father’s love cannot be bought or sold, then we will become capable of showing boundless love and forgiving others even if they have wronged us” - Pope Francis in Amoris Laetitia Summary:  Becoming a husband and father is the biggest change a man goes through in his life.  There is simply no better “life-coaching” than family life!  But when men find their vocation difficult, it is usually their wives that they turn to or who observe this difficulty and have a desire to help.  In this podcast, we hear from...

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MFP 330: What Will Your Children Remember? show art MFP 330: What Will Your Children Remember?

Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family

“You’re not just parenting your children… you are parenting your grandchildren”   Summary Have you ever walked through a thousand-year-old castle or along a wall built by Romans nearly a millennium ago? On a recent trip to the UK, we were struck by the longevity of these structures—and the intentionality behind them. They weren’t built to last a season, but centuries. In this episode, we challenge you to think the same way about your family culture. Are you parenting just for today… or are you building something that will bless your children, grandchildren, and...

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“It’s important that we remember to talk ‘to’ our kids, not ‘at’ them” - Mark Hart

 

Summary

Parents are rightly concerned today about the influence of the culture on their teens.  As much as we would like to put our kids in a teflon bubble to shield them from the false fake culture of the world, it is just not possible!  What do our kids need from us to prepare them for life?  Join us in this podcast for a conversation with Mark Hart of Lifeteen - a speaker, author, and parent himself of teens and adult children.  Mark gives us some great insights (and laughs!) on how to talk to your kids, what they are REALLY looking for, and what not to be afraid of.   We were blessed in this conversation and we are thrilled to be able to share it with you! 

 

Key Takeaways

  • Keeping teens in a “teflon” bubble and trying to shield them from the world their whole lives doesn’t work.  We need to teach them and get them ready.

  • Kids need space to ask questions and have conversations with their parents without feeling judged.  Pushing back is a natural part of maturation. 

  • Teens demand authenticity!  They challenge us to be real and that is good for us and for the Church. 

  • Talk “to” your kids, not “at” them. 

  • Significant conversations with our teens allow our lives to re-echo across the generations.  Take time for conversations.  

  • For parents, the 20 minutes you spend focused on your child and not on yourself is as spiritually beneficial as a Holy Hour! 

  • Parents should be less concerned with WHAT your child knows and more concerned about WHO is teaching them and where they are getting their information from

  • God entrusted these souls to you for a season. They will not be living under your roof forever. 

  • See your child as a whole person.  You need to spend time with them and really “see” them.  

  • A successful home has three altars: the dinner table to share life and food, the coffee table to gather with family and friends for ideas and fun, and the marriage bed that forms the foundation of the family. 

  • Parents often think of themselves as a hose that ideas and prayer comes through, but we need to be like a fountain - filled up so much in ourselves that we spill over onto our spouse, children, and everyone around us. 

 

Couple Discussion Questions

  • Do we take time to have significant conversations with our kids?  How can we do this more? 

  • Looking at the maturity of our children, are we protecting them too  much?  Not enough? 

  • How are we doing in using the “three altars” of our home?  Are all three of them places that are giving life to our family? 

 

Links:

  • Ascension press - Bible Heroes

  • Register for the Family Board Meeting

  • WWM On Demand course 

  • Listener Survey