MFP 308: The Power of Asking for Forgiveness
Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family
Release Date: 11/04/2024
MFP 370: The Path to Healing our Broken Hearts
Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family
There is nothing that the power of the resurrection cannot redeem in your life. - Fr. Shawn Monahan Summary What do we do with the wounds we carry, especially in marriage? In this powerful episode, Fr. Shawn Monahan shares a trauma-informed vision of spirituality that meets us in our real stories. We’re all wounded, some more deeply than others, and healing begins with honest self-knowledge, self-acceptance, and inviting Christ into our pain. Fr. Shawn explains how our desires are shaped for good, how sin is seeking that good in the wrong ways, and why shame keeps us stuck....
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MFP 369: Marriages Don’t Accidentally Communicate Well
Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family
You can't have a healthy relationship if you don't develop the skill of communication. Summary Marriage doesn’t drift into great communication. You have to make the time and practice on purpose. In this episode, we share simple, realistic tools to help couples break bad habits and start talking in ways that actually bring them closer. You’ll learn how to listen without fixing, reduce daily stress through connection and fun, and build rituals that create space for meaningful conversation. We talk about appreciation, gentle ways to start hard conversations, and why prayer...
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MFP 368: The Four Horsemen in Busy Marriages
Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family
"Couples often ignore each other’s emotional needs out of mindlessness, not malice." - Dr. John Gottman Summary Let's take an honest look at how communication breaks down in busy marriages and what you can do to stop it. Most couples don’t ignore each other out of malice, but out of exhaustion, distraction, and rushed daily life. In this episode, we unpack why communication is essential for growth and connection, and how unspoken assumptions quickly lead to misunderstandings. Drawing on Dr. John Gottman’s research, we break down the Four Horsemen of Communication - ...
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MFP 367: The Need for Belonging in Marriage
Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family
“Therefore a man leaves his father and his mother and clings to his wife, and they become one flesh.” Genesis 2:24 Summary In this episode, we talk about something every person longs for: belonging. At its heart, marriage is meant to be a place where you are chosen, known, and not easily walked away from. It’s a home base, the one relationship you freely choose, where staying matters more than being perfect. Belonging in marriage isn’t about constant agreement or effortless connection. It’s about knowing someone is still there when things are hard, awkward, or unfinished. Over time,...
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MFP 366: God is Love
Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family
"Love of neighbor is a path that leads to the encounter with God… closing our eyes to our neighbour also blinds us to God." - Pope Benedict XVI, God is Love Summary We begin with Love because marriage flows from our deepest identity and relationships, not just spousal dynamics. Created in the image of a loving, Triune God, we must first ask who God is and who we are in His eyes. Our relationship with God and with ourselves forms the foundation for loving others. Pope Benedict XVI’s God Is Love reveals that eros and agape are inseparable dimensions of love: we are made to give and...
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MFP 365: Five Ways to Begin Again
Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family
"Let us begin again, for until now we have done nothing," - Saint Francis of Assisi Summary As a new year begins, many of us focus on where we fell short instead of how we’ve grown. In this episode, Mike and Alicia invite parents and couples to reflect on the past year by celebrating the gains—not just the gaps—and to recognize the common traps that keep us stuck, like doing too much, being too busy, comparing ourselves to others, or letting our loves get out of order. From there, they share five foundational ways to begin again and make this year better—not perfect, but better:...
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MFP 364: Live Intentionally in 2026
Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family
Summary This episode revisits one of the most helpful and down-to-earth conversations on the Messy Family Podcast: Family Board Meeting 2.0. It starts with a simple but challenging idea. We put a lot of thought into our jobs, but when it comes to family life, many of us are just trying to keep up. Between work, kids’ schedules, and everyday stress, it’s easy to drift into survival mode. A Family Board Meeting is a chance to pause, breathe, and get back on the same page. It’s not about being perfect or fixing everything. It’s about choosing to lead your family with intention. The...
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MFP 363: Growing Up Hernon - What it's like in a large, loud, loving family
Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family
Summary What’s it really like growing up in a big family? In this special Hernon kids takeover podcast, Mike and Alicia’s children gather around the mic to tell the honest, funny, and heartfelt story of their upbringing. From loud dinner tables and sibling fights to deep bonds, meaningful traditions, and moments of feeling unseen, the Hernon siblings share what shaped them—for better and for worse. They talk openly about the challenges of a large family, how sibling relationships filled the gaps when parents were stretched thin, and why intentional traditions mattered more...
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MFP 362: Choosing to Be Wrong Together, Over Being Right Alone
Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family
Your decisions may not always be perfect, but you can choose to make them together. Summary In this week’s podcast, we dive into one of the most important truths for married couples: you will never make a perfect decision—but you can choose unity. Today’s culture urges us to optimize everything with hacks, experts, and AI, yet the real power in family life comes from spouses acting together. We share our own stories of big decisions—moves, career changes, even grad school—and how waiting for unity brought peace and strength to our home. Join us as we unpack how to stay united:...
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MFP 361: The Story of All Stories: Catholic Parenting & Hospitality with Emily Stimpson Chapman
Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family
“Hospitality and real community starts by inviting people into your messy home…” Summary In this episode, Mike and Alicia sit down with best-selling Catholic author Emily Stimpson Chapman to talk about Advent, Storybook for young Catholics, and the beauty of simple hospitality. Emily shares the real, lived rhythms of Advent in her home—reminding parents that peace and prayerfulness grow best when traditions are tied to everyday routines and kept flexible, not burdensome. Emily also introduces her newest work, The Story of All Stories, a beautifully crafted children’s...
info_outline“Genuine humility never disturbs the soul. Rather it is accompanied by peace, joy and calm” St. Theresa of Avila
Summary
What is the biggest problem in Catholic marriages? Although we appreciate good communication tools, marriage insights, and mentors - at the end of the day the biggest problem is simply a lack of holiness. One essential tool in our quest for holiness is learning how to ask for forgiveness. When we have conflict in our home, we all need to ask ourselves the question - what could I have done differently? When we take ownership in this way, we can repent to God and then ask forgiveness of our spouse or children in order to repair that relationship. Often we will focus only on our sins and try to amend our lives, but in addition to those good things, we also need to seek to reconcile the relationship and ask for forgiveness.
Key Takeaways
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When there is conflict in the home, we always need to ask ourselves how have I contributed to this situation and what could I have done differently?
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Taking extreme ownership means that you don’t make excuses, but instead recognize that the past does not have power over you any more. You always have a choice.
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When you are aware of your weakness, you are more open to asking for forgiveness and growing in holiness
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Asking forgiveness also repairs the rupture in the relationship that happens as a result of our actions.
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When you ask forgiveness and make your heart pure through Confession, then you are able to more clearly see God. “The pure in heart shall see God” Matt 5:8
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A daily examen should include asking for forgiveness of family members we have sinned against.
Couple Discussion Questions
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Reflect on your marriage and children and ask God to show you areas in which you need to change. Go to your spouse and children and ask their forgiveness.
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When can we do a daily examen in our household? How can we incorporate regular asking of forgiveness?
References:
Dealing with Failure podcast: MPF 140
Forgiveness and Transformation MFP 165
Romans 12
Matthew 18:21-35