MFP 308: The Power of Asking for Forgiveness
Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family
Release Date: 11/04/2024
MFP 402: When Empathy Becomes Wimpy
Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family
If I understand my child’s feelings but refuse to guide them toward what is good, am I fully loving them? Summary What if empathy, one of the most important tools in parenting, can sometimes keep us from loving our children well? In this episode, Mike and Alicia explore the difference between understanding a child’s feelings and allowing those feelings to guide every decision. Drawing on Scripture and the example of God’s fatherly love, they talk honestly about compassion, authority, boundaries, service, and the deep delight parents are called to have in their children. You’ll hear...
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MFP 401: The Four Core Needs of Your Spouse and How to Address Them
Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family
Summary Marriage does not mean you will perfectly fulfill every need your spouse has, but we are called to be a channel of God’s self-giving love. Join us for this powerful conversation with Devin Schadt author of The Marriage Gap: How to Understand, Communicate, and Meet Your Spouse's Four Deepest Needs. We explore the complementary needs of husbands and wives: security and respect, strength and beauty, closeness and physical intimacy, spiritual leadership and shared mission. Devin offers practical wisdom for expressing needs without shame, blame, or manipulation; building trust through...
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MFP 400: From Rules to Responsibility, Giving Teens Freedom
Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family
“We have vastly overprotected our children in the real world. We have to give them more freedom.” —Jonathan Haidt Summary How much freedom should you give your children—and how do you know when they’re ready for more? In this episode, we explore one of parenting’s challenging balancing acts: offering children room to grow while providing the guidance and security they still need. Through the relatable picture of teaching a child to swim or drive, we consider why freedom is an art, not a formula, and why every child may need something different. We will tell you some stories...
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MFP 399: Motherhood - Losing Yourself or Becoming Yourself?
Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family
Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. - Matthew 11:28 Summary Motherhood changes everything—and sometimes that transformation feels less like a beautiful makeover and more like someone rearranged your whole life while you were trying to sleep. In this honest, hopeful episode, Alicia and guest host Katie Gamboa explore the tension between self-care and sacrificial love. How do mothers give generously without running on empty? We also challenge today’s impossible expectations: work, prepare healthy meals, raise happy children, keep the house running, and...
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MFP 398: Discovering Your Child’s Unique Gifts
Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family
“Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.” — Proverbs 22:6 Summary With so many sports, clubs, arts programs, school choices, and community activities available, how can parents help their children discover their gifts without letting a packed schedule take over family life? Rather than trying to produce a generically successful child, parents are invited to become students of the unique children God has entrusted to them. In this podcast, we encourage parents to give their kids room to try new things, change direction, fail, and...
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MFP 397: The No-Resentment Rosary
Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family
“The Holy Rosary, by age-old tradition, has shown itself particularly effective as a prayer which brings the family together.” —St. John Paul II, Rosarium Virginis Mariae, no. 41 Summary Have you ever gathered the family to pray the Rosary—and wondered if all the fidgeting, correcting, and frustration were helping your children love prayer or simply teaching them to endure it? In this episode, we take an honest look at praying the Rosary with kids. Perseverance matters, but so do creativity, patience, and sensitivity to the needs of your particular family. The goal is not merely...
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MFP 396: The Great Family Reboot
Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family
“Every action you take is a vote for the type of person you wish to become.” - James Clear Summary Is your family running on good routines—or on lost shoes, late-night permission slips, and someone yelling, “Where is your backpack?” If summer loosened every habit in your house, this episode is your invitation to hit the family reset button. We’re talking honestly about the routines that shape family culture, whether we choose them or simply fall into them. Bedtimes, chores, prayer, screens, school mornings, and family meals don’t just organize the day; over time, they help...
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MFP 395: Who Comes First? Navigating the Hard Choices of Family Life
Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family
Family life is full of competing needs, responsibilities, and relationships. And sometimes there isn't one obvious "right" answer. Summary In this listener questions episode, Mike, Alicia, and Katie tackle some of the complicated situations real families are facing: What should a mom do when her teenage son starts turning to Dad instead of her? How do you discern where your family should live? Should you move if your spouse is unhappy but your children are thriving? How do you honor your parents while putting your spouse first? They also discuss life with a large family in a small house,...
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MFP 394: NFP- Love, Life, and Learning Self-Control
Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family
Catholic couples don’t discern if they should have a child, they discern if they should postpone pregnancy. These are two different conversations. Summary This re-release of a 2015 episode presents Natural Family Planning as more than a technique: it's a way of living that contrasts sharply with a culture focused on control and convenience. We explore how modern society tends to "engineer" outcomes, even in areas like fertility, while NFP invites couples to cooperate with the natural design of the body, integrating both faith and science. This approach requires intentional...
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MFP 393: Helping Kids Grow Through Hard Things
Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family
High expectations along with high support produces resilient kids. Summary In this episode, Mike and Alicia focus on the challenge of raising resilient kids in a culture that often prioritizes comfort and protection. They emphasize that while parents naturally shield their children from pain and failure, doing so too often can actually prevent them from developing the strength and perseverance they need in life. Instead, resilience is built when kids are allowed to express appropriate struggles, learn from mistakes, and grow through adversity with the steady support of their parents. This...
info_outline“Genuine humility never disturbs the soul. Rather it is accompanied by peace, joy and calm” St. Theresa of Avila
Summary
What is the biggest problem in Catholic marriages? Although we appreciate good communication tools, marriage insights, and mentors - at the end of the day the biggest problem is simply a lack of holiness. One essential tool in our quest for holiness is learning how to ask for forgiveness. When we have conflict in our home, we all need to ask ourselves the question - what could I have done differently? When we take ownership in this way, we can repent to God and then ask forgiveness of our spouse or children in order to repair that relationship. Often we will focus only on our sins and try to amend our lives, but in addition to those good things, we also need to seek to reconcile the relationship and ask for forgiveness.
Key Takeaways
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When there is conflict in the home, we always need to ask ourselves how have I contributed to this situation and what could I have done differently?
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Taking extreme ownership means that you don’t make excuses, but instead recognize that the past does not have power over you any more. You always have a choice.
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When you are aware of your weakness, you are more open to asking for forgiveness and growing in holiness
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Asking forgiveness also repairs the rupture in the relationship that happens as a result of our actions.
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When you ask forgiveness and make your heart pure through Confession, then you are able to more clearly see God. “The pure in heart shall see God” Matt 5:8
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A daily examen should include asking for forgiveness of family members we have sinned against.
Couple Discussion Questions
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Reflect on your marriage and children and ask God to show you areas in which you need to change. Go to your spouse and children and ask their forgiveness.
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When can we do a daily examen in our household? How can we incorporate regular asking of forgiveness?
References:
Dealing with Failure podcast: MPF 140
Forgiveness and Transformation MFP 165
Romans 12
Matthew 18:21-35