MFP 363: Growing Up Hernon - What it's like in a large, loud, loving family
Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family
Release Date: 12/22/2025
MFP 380: The Hidden Power of Family Culture and How to Shape It
Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family
Family culture is more than a mission statement, it's a way of life that communicates powerfully. Summary What are you really cultivating in your home? In this episode, we explore the deeper meaning of family culture through the lens of cultus—to till, tend, and worship. Your home is a garden, and the way you live together is already forming a culture, whether intentional or not! We unpack how culture is shaped by what you value—and how those values must be visible in both what you do and how you act. It’s not big talks but consistent, daily habits that form your family....
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MFP 379: Lord, Save Me from the Complaining Child!
Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family
Your child is not a problem to be solved, but a person to be known. Summary If you’ve ever thought, “How can one small human make this much noise… about EVERYTHING?”—this episode is for you. We’re diving into the all-too-familiar world of complaining kids—the sighs, the groans, the “Do I have to?”—and how it can slowly drain the joy right out of your home. But instead of just surviving it (or losing your sanity), in this episode we will look at understanding WHY kids complain and give you some practical tools to respond in charity. With humor, honesty,...
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MFP 378: Training Children to Master Themselves
Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family
There is a need for a crusade of manliness and purity to counteract and nullify the savage work of those who think man is a beast. And that crusade is your work. ~St. Josemaría Escrivá Summary How do you talk to your kids about purity without turning it into a list of rules and constant “no’s”? Join us for this conversation with Fr. Carter Griffin about the importance of purity and self-mastery. This episode invites parents to shift the focus to what purity says yes to: love, freedom, and a future built on integrity. We discuss why teens demand authenticity and how...
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MFP 377: When Kids Take Control: What To Do and How to Stop It
Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family
When I stopped trying to fix or change my child, and explored my own role in fostering bullying behaviors, I found the answers I needed. These behaviors were a direct consequence of my own insecurities. - Sean Grover, Ph.D. Summary Parents often make excuses for their children’s outrageous behavior, whether it's a preschooler’s tantrum or a teen’s sullen refusal to do what he or she has been asked. Children who become unmanageable or verbally abusive to their parents are, in fact, bullies, although most parents don’t think of these behaviors in that way. Maybe they should. Key...
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MFP 376: Raising Kids Without Raising Your Voice
Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family
The most effective parents aren’t the loudest—they’re the most consistent. Summary Why do we yell at our kids, even when we know it doesn't work? In this episode, we unpack the hard truth behind yelling in parenting: it's often not a discipline strategy, but a reaction to stress, frustration, and lack of follow-through. While it may get quick results, it slowly weakens our authority and damages connection with our kids. We talk about why yelling becomes a habit, what it's actually teaching our children, and how to replace it with calmer, more effective discipline. You'll walk away...
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MFP 375: The Family and the Sexual Revolution
Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family
“The sexual revolution was not about freedom. It was about transferring power from families to the state.” - Dr. Jennifer Roback Morse Summary What really makes a family essential, and why does it matter so much right now? In this episode, Dr. Jennifer Roback Morse makes a compelling, research-based case for why children need both their mother and their father. We explore the irreplaceable role of mothers in forming trust and attachment, the unique responsibility of fathers to provide protection, limits, and direction, and how these roles evolve as children grow. You’ll hear why...
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MFP 374: Raising Kids Who Know Who They Are
Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family
Summary How do we help our children discover the gift that they are? In this episode, we explore the powerful cycle of identity, belonging, and mission—and how it unfolds across the key stages of childhood. From the early years of wonder and dependence, to the exploratory middle years, to the identity-shaping teen years, we unpack what children need most at each phase—and how parents can respond with confidence. We dive into how children develop their gifts, navigate friendships, and grow into their sexual identity, as we highlight the unique role parents play—not as controllers,...
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MFP 373: Parenting is Your Mission
Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family
Summary There is so much noise in the world of parenting today, and it’s easy to feel overwhelmed by pressure, comparison, and fear. In this episode, Mike and Alicia remind parents that there is not just one way to raise a family well. God has given you the grace for your mission, and your job is not to control your children or guarantee outcomes. Your call is to build a strong marriage, create a healthy home, communicate your values, and allow God to use family life to make you holy. Parenting is not about perfection — it is about faithfulness. Key Takeaways There is not just one right...
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MFP 372: Prayer for Beginners - Interview with the Science of Sainthood
Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family
"Without a life of prayer, you are really not living as a Catholic" - Matt Leonard Summary What does it really mean to “go deeper” in prayer? And what if you pray every day but don’t feel anything? This week we’re joined by Matthew Leonard, founder of The Science of Sainthood, to talk about what real spiritual growth looks like. We break down the three modes of prayer, vocal, meditation, and contemplation, and how they form a path to holiness. Matthew shares practical steps for building a daily habit of mental prayer, handling distractions, and creating space for silence....
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MFP 371: How Vulnerability Is Built in Small Moments
Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family
Love is not a feeling. It's a daily choice, a habit practiced proactively. Summary What if intimacy isn’t built in the big moments, but in the small ones you almost miss? In this episode, we explore the idea of bids for connection, the everyday ways we reach for each other through a question, a touch, a story, or even a glance across the room. We talk about what happens when those bids are noticed and met with kindness, and what slowly unfolds when they are ignored. You’ll hear how responsiveness, presence, and emotional generosity shape trust, passion, and long-term happiness...
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What’s it really like growing up in a big family?
In this special Hernon kids takeover podcast, Mike and Alicia’s children gather around the mic to tell the honest, funny, and heartfelt story of their upbringing. From loud dinner tables and sibling fights to deep bonds, meaningful traditions, and moments of feeling unseen, the Hernon siblings share what shaped them—for better and for worse.
They talk openly about the challenges of a large family, how sibling relationships filled the gaps when parents were stretched thin, and why intentional traditions mattered more than perfection. Along the way, they relive unforgettable childhood stories (including melted crayons, camping disasters, and a legendary vomiting incident), reflect on personality differences, and offer wisdom for parents raising kids today.
This episode is a gift to parents wondering if they’re “doing enough”—and a reminder that love multiplies, even when life is messy.
Key Takeways:
1. Big Families Are Hard—And That’s Not a Bad Thing
Most of the siblings admitted they didn’t always love growing up in a large family—especially as teenagers. But looking back, they see how it built character, resilience, and lifelong relationships.
2. Parents Won’t Always Get It Perfect
Several siblings shared moments when they felt overlooked or unseen. Yet the overwhelming takeaway was this: they knew they were loved, even when time and energy were limited.
3. Siblings Matter More Than We Realize
In a big family, siblings often become secondary parents, confidants, and companions. Those relationships became one of the greatest gifts of their upbringing.
4. Traditions Shape Identity
From Christmas breakfasts and dinner games to family retreats and service visits, traditions created a shared story and sense of belonging that lasted into adulthood.
5. Conflict Isn’t Failure—It’s Formation
Fighting, disagreements, and personality clashes were part of the family culture. Learning forgiveness, conflict resolution, and reconciliation turned those struggles into growth.
6. Intentionality Beats Perfection
What stood out most wasn’t flawless parenting—but parents who cared, listened, showed interest, and tried to be present whenever possible.
Couple Discussion Questions:
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How do sibling relationships function in your family right now? How might you help strengthen them?
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How do you currently handle conflict in your home—and what might forgiveness look like more intentionally?
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What kind of family culture do you hope your children will talk about someday?