The Lost Girls of ADHD: Inattentive in Girls and Women
Release Date: 04/01/2026
The Evolution of Assessment: It's More Than Just a Score
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As public understanding of neurodiversity continues to grow, evaluators face a shifting landscape when assessing clients whose traits don't match traditional, less nuanced pictures of autism. Many individuals—especially women and girls—learn to navigate daily social interactions through pattern recognition and learned strategies rather than intuitive processing, masking their traits enough to miss early identification. Dr. Jeremy Sharp, a licensed psychologist, founder of the Colorado Center for Assessment, and host of the Testing Psychologist Podcast, joins Emily to unpack the realities...
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Often, autistic girls are called shy, introverted, perfectionistic, confused, anything BUT autistic. There is a pervasive impression, even in the medical community, that autism occurs in boys vastly more often than girls. The result is, autistic girls are missing out on services and tools that are available to them. Holly Blanc Moses is a therapist, and the host of the Autism ADHD Podcast, and she joins Emily Kircher-Morris in this encore presentation to talk about missing autism in girls. You can for our upcoming continuing education course for mental health professionals, Clinical...
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The baseline premise of Augmentative and Alternative Communication (AAC) rests on the fundamental principle that communication is an inherent human right rather than a privilege to be earned through baseline cognitive compliance. Too often, school systems and clinical providers inadvertently stall access to verbal alternatives by requiring non-speaking students to prove communicative readiness or complete repetitive testing metrics. Brenda Del Monte, an AAC specialist and author, alongside Sarah Kinsella, an assistive technology specialist, join Emily Kircher-Morris to discuss ways to reverse...
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When an autistic child or teen consistently pushes back against daily expectations, traditional parenting and teaching methods often default to high-pressure enforcement. This pattern routinely triggers escalating defensive behaviors, creating a continuous loop of friction that strains the entire family system. In this encore conversation, Sandra McConnell, an advocate known as the PDA Mama Bear, joins Emily Kircher-Morris to unpack the nuanced framework of pervasive demand avoidance and explore how it reshapes typical social navigation. They talk about ways to shift the focus away from...
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The Parenting Long Game: Finding the Problem Under the Problem
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Today we talk about how parent reactivity, historical family patterns, and systemic overwhelm inadvertently trap families in cyclical power struggles. Emily Kircher-Morris welcomes Diane Dempster, a professional coach, author, and co-founder of ImpactParents, to talk about how urgency often drives parents out of an objective problem-solving mindset, and toward reactionary behaviors that over-manage their kids, rather than supporting their neurological growth. They talk about the family as an interdependent system, and about how interpersonal traps of the traditional drama triangle can cause...
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The Rewards and Punishment Paradox with Alfie Kohn
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Within traditional educational and parenting paradigms, behaviorist strategies such as token economies, behavior color charts, and positive reinforcement models are frequently treated as standard mechanisms for human development. However, these compliance-driven metrics often collapse under long-term evaluation, obscuring the critical psychological friction they introduce. Alfie Kohn, a prominent educational theorist and author of Punished by Rewards, joins the program to systematically critique the reliance on traditional behavioral modification systems, including school-wide positive...
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Educator Burnout: Why "Remember Your Why" Isn't Enough
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The high statistical prevalence of burnout in the education system has moved past the realm of speculation and into undeniable systemic reality. While modern teacher preparation programs provide good technical training, they consistently fail to equip people with the emotional tools required to withstand chronic occupational stress. Katrina G. Huels, an educational consultant, former special education leader, and author of Transformational Tools for Special Educators, joins Emily to talk about the cumulative emotional load of behavior management, chronic staffing shortages, and high...
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Deconstructing Gifted Burnout
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When highly capable children spend years cruising through an educational system where academic rigor is geared toward the average, they fail to develop the neurological muscles required to process difficulty. This week, we present an encore chat with Dr. Brian Housand, coordinator of the academically or intellectually gifted program at the University of North Carolina Wilmington, and Andi McNair, a gifted education author and digital innovation specialist. They discuss how burnout can be a result of long-term exposure to unrealistic expectations and a profound fear of failure, and how it can...
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When a neurodivergent child or teen struggles with daytime focus, emotional volatility, or low frustration tolerance, caregivers naturally look for behavioral or psychological explanations. However, chronic sleep deprivation frequently hides behind these daytime struggles, acting as an unseen amplifier for executive dysfunction and sensory overload. Dr. Melisa Moore, a clinical psychologist and board-certified behavioral sleep medicine specialist at Rady Children's Health San Diego, joins Emily Kircher-Morris to reframe sleep not as an isolated nighttime issue, but as a continuous 24-hour...
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Understanding ADHD Children
Neurodiversity Podcast
Parents often believe they know their children, when in reality they haven’t made the effort to really understand them. That understanding can be even harder when adding ADHD into the mix. Dr. Sharon Saline is a clinical psychologist and author of the book, What Your ADHD Child Wishes You Knew. She talks with Emily Kircher-Morris about how to go about understanding your child better, and how ADHD can complicate the relationship. This conversation was previously released. Perfectionism can be difficult to identify in therapy, and once identified, still very difficult to overcome. If you're a...
info_outlineWhy is inattentive ADHD so often missed, especially in girls? In this episode, Emily Kircher-Morris is joined by Cynthia Hammer, author of Living with Inattentive ADHD and founder of the Inattentive ADHD Coalition. Cynthia shares her personal journey of being diagnosed at age 49 and her late-life mission to ensure the next generation of girls doesn't have to wait decades for answers.
The two discuss the subtle clues of inattentiveness, the overlap between ADHD and autism, and how perfectionism often serves as a high-stakes masking strategy that leads to adult burnout. They also talk about the Big Sisters for ADHD Girls initiative, and the importance of early screening. It's a call to action for parents, educators, and clinicians to look past the surface and support the authentic neurodivergent self.
TAKEAWAYS
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Inattentive ADHD isn't hard to see; rather, society hasn't been trained on what to look for.
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It's been suggested that some girls begin masking as early as age three.
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While masking helps girls fit in socially, the cognitive load of playing a role often leads to severe burnout in adulthood.
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Perfectionism is frequently used as a coping mechanism to avoid the rejection sensitivity that comes with ADHD.
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There is a significant overlap between inattentive ADHD and autistic traits, particularly regarding sensory processing and social cues.
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A diagnosis provides a vital framework of self-empathy, replacing the labels of "lazy" or "unmotivated" with a biological explanation.
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Because ADHD is highly genetic, a child’s diagnosis is often the first step in recognizing neurodivergence across the entire family tree.
A reminder to sign up for a live 90-minute training workshop Emily will be presenting for parents, educators, and clinicians on Wednesday, April 15, 2026 at 12:30 PM Eastern, 9:30 AM Pacific. She joins with Elizabeth Sautter to provide a neurodiversity-affirming framework that helps kids and teens build real emotional regulation and resilience without shame, pressure, or power struggles. If you can't join live, a recording will be available shortly after the presentation ends. Register here.
Cynthia Hammer, MSW is an advocate, author, and nonprofit leader dedicated to increasing awareness and understanding of Inattentive ADHD. Diagnosed at age 49 in 1992, she has spent decades working to amplify the voices of individuals whose ADHD often goes unseen and misunderstood.
Cynthia is the author of Living with Inattentive ADHD and the founder of two nonprofit organizations, ADD Resources and the Inattentive ADHD Coalition. She currently leads the FINDtheADHDgirls initiative, a project focused on identifying and supporting girls and women whose ADHD has been overlooked. Through her writing and advocacy, Cynthia continues to expand recognition and access to support for those with inattentive ADHD.
BACKGROUND READING
FINDtheADHDgirls: website, LinkedIn, LinkedIn Showcase, Facebook, YouTube, Instagram, podcast. Inattentive ADHD Coalition: LinkedIn, Facebook, Instagram, YouTube. Cynthia Hammer: LinkedIn, Facebook
The Neurodiversity Podcast is on Facebook, Instagram, BlueSky, and you’re invited to join our Facebook Group. For more information go to www.NeurodiversityPodcast.com.
If you'd like members of your organization, school district, or company to know more about the subjects discussed on our podcast, Emily Kircher-Morris provides keynote addresses, workshops, and training sessions worldwide, in-person or virtually. You can choose from a list of established presentations, or work with Emily to develop a custom talk to fit your unique situation. To learn more, visit our website.