349: Driving Change from the Inside Out with Tara Jaye Frank

If you are feeling a bit battered by the cultural waves and political turbulence swirling around us right now, trust me—you are not alone. I’ll admit, when I woke up the morning after the 2024 election, I felt physically sick worrying about what the fallout would mean for our businesses and the hard choices ahead.

That is why I love this conversation with Tara Jaye Frank. She met me right in that messy space with the ultimate reframe, sharing a beautiful story about how a simple grocery delivery from a man named Socrates gave her the title for her new book, You Are Before the World. It is a powerful reminder that before we can tackle the chaos of the world, we have to settle and stabilize ourselves first.

We can't write people off, and we certainly can't pour from an empty cup, so let’s dive into Tara’s profound wisdom on how we can sustain ourselves while doing the heavy work of inclusion.

Key Themes from the Conversation

• Emotional Detachment as a Tool for Curiosity: Facing deep misalignment in values doesn’t mean you have to compromise who you are. Instead of absorbing disdain or getting defensive, true allyship requires shifting into the posture of a learner to understand the root of another person's perspective.

  "I have become good at that momentary emotional detachment. This conversation is not about me. My values are not at risk because I am engaging. And then I just get curious."

• The Power of Strict Media Boundaries: To protect your nervous system from chronic stress and cortisol spikes, you must take active control over how and when you consume information rather than letting alerts dictate your emotional state.

  "I get no news alerts sent to me. I retrieve the news when I feel I can take it in. I go get it, and I catch up, and then I move along."

• Relying on Routine During Dark Times: When navigating immense personal or professional disruption, implementing strict, loving routines provides a stabilizing anchor that protects mental health without requiring heavy cognitive lifting.

  "During the most difficult times in my life, I relied heavily on routine that didn't require any thinking, and that really helped me because routines calmed me down, they anchored me, they helped me reconnect to myself."

• Believing in the Generative Power of Others: Allyship means offering deep empathy and care without automatically swooping in to fix every problem, which ultimately respects and preserves the autonomy of others to navigate their own growth.

  "I have stopped automatically jumping into the deep end of other people's pools and instead, believing in their generative power. I'm watching people build confidence in their own generative power."

• Refusing to Pre-Work Unready Situations: To avoid professional exhaustion and burnout, stop over-preparing scenarios for partnerships, clients, or projects before you have the foundational data and aligned partners necessary to move forward.

  "I stopped getting ready for things that are not ready for me. I won't pre-work anymore, because to me, I now know that that is a waste unless there is alignment."

One Actionable Takeaway for Listeners

To protect your energy and remain an effective ally, audit your digital boundaries today by turning off all automated breaking news and social media alerts. Instead of allowing negative external forces to aggressively push information into your space throughout the day, choose one specific window when your nervous system is regulated to intentionally pull and process the updates you need. Think about a healthy news consumption routine you could adopt.

Get Tara's book and follow her work at:  https://tarajayefrank.com/