409 From Elite Athlete to Inmate: The Wake-Up Call That Changed His Life
Sobriety: The One Day At A Time Recovery Podcast
Release Date: 12/18/2025
Sobriety: The One Day At A Time Recovery Podcast
One of the most powerful moments in this conversation came when Amber said: “I didn’t want to do what I was doing… but it became my comfort zone.” If you’ve ever struggled with food, alcohol, or any compulsive behavior, you know exactly what she means. This episode isn’t about dieting. It’s about why the body holds on — to weight, habits, protection, and survival patterns — even when we desperately want to change. Amber walks us through her healing journey, from childhood trauma and food addiction to full recovery, and explains why binge eating isn’t a lack of discipline...
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I recently sat down with my dear friend and author, John Loxley to discuss the fundamentals of sobriety. John is 15 years sober and works in mental health services in the UK. We weren’t talking about shiny breakthroughs or dramatic transformations. We were talking about the basics — the things that quietly keep sobriety intact, year after year. Because here’s the truth: most people don’t relapse because they don’t know enough. They relapse because they slowly stop doing the things that keep them emotionally regulated, supported, and self-aware. This episode was a reminder of what...
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Hi friend, thank you for downloading the episode, my name is Arlina and I’ll be your host. In case you haven’t seen it, the new show notes include all the action steps and links to resources mentioned in the podcast, along with a link to the YouTube interview. You can access them by visiting the website at I keep hearing from listeners that they are missing some of the episodes and as it turns out, only 73% percent of listeners are subscribed. So if you could do me a favor and take a moment to make sure you are subscribed, that would be tremendously helpful. It’s the free...
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Anxiety Isn’t the Problem — It’s the Habit Loop Behind It I recently had a conversation with psychiatrist and neuroscientist Jud Brewer that stopped me in my tracks — not because it was abstract or inspirational, but because it finally explained something I’ve lived with for decades. Even in long-term sobriety. Even with years of self-work, therapy, meetings, journaling, and personal development. That thing is anxiety — and more specifically, how anxiety quietly turns into habits like worrying, overthinking, scrolling, information hoarding, procrastinating, and self-judgment. What...
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One of the biggest takeaways from this conversation with Emma is that anxiety, depression, and burnout aren’t character flaws—they’re nervous system responses to feeling unsafe. We talked about how depression often mirrors the nervous system’s shutdown response, and how anxiety shows up as fight-or-flight. When your body feels overwhelmed for too long, it doesn’t motivate you—it protects you. Why Worry Keeps You Stuck Emma explained that worry is actually reinforced behavior. When we worry and nothing bad happens, our brain learns, “That worked—do it again.” Over time, worry...
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Choosing Yourself Isn’t Selfish — It’s Necessary In this episode of The One Day at a Time Recovery Podcast, I sit down with Hakeem to talk about what happens when performance, substances, and distractions can no longer protect us from unresolved pain. Hakeem shares how the death of his younger brother, years of buried grief, elite athletics, addiction, and eventually incarceration led him to a moment of total reckoning. Sitting alone in a jail cell — without substances, screens, or distractions — he was finally forced to face himself. What stood out to me most is Hakeem’s belief...
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How Journaling, Community & Self-Compassion Can Transform Recovery: A Conversation with Sonia In this episode, Sonia from Sisters in Sobriety joins us for a deeply honest conversation about recovery, journaling, trauma, and rebuilding life after addiction. Sonia shares how her drinking escalated from teenage experimentation to daily wine-drinking as a high-functioning professional. While she never had the “traditional” external bottom, she described being emotionally bottomed out — chronically ill, blacking out, and unable to imagine a future. What finally shifted? A moment of...
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Today I am joined by Brett Eaton, who is a motivational speaker, high performance coach, and the best selling author of "Uncomfortable Either Way: The Blueprint For Building Confidence Through Discomfort”. You might think that he doesn’t fit the typical guest profile, but Brett’s expertise on building confidence, behavior change, identity shifts, and building momentum - are the foundational building blocks of sobriety. In this episode we talk about: ✅ How accepting discomfort leads to change ✅ The importance of micro-commitments ✅ Why focusing on the wins is critical...
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In today’s episode, I sit down with my dear friend Julie Bloom - She’s a coach, mental health trainer, multilingual communicator, and survivor of childhood abuse, and severe workplace trauma. Julie shares her remarkable story of navigating PTSD, burnout, trauma, addiction, and a complete midlife unraveling… and how she rebuilt her identity through emotional regulation, nonviolent communication, and deep personal healing. Together we explore: ✨ Why emotional regulation is the foundation of all healing ✨ What actually happens in the brain during triggers ✨ How to respond...
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In this powerful and deeply honest conversation, I sit down with David Shamszad, author of I Am Someone You Know: The Fight for Recovery and Mental Health, to talk about the hidden pain behind high-functioning addiction, growing up in an alcoholic home, and the courage it takes to heal. David shares his journey through childhood trauma, undiagnosed bipolar disorder, suicidal ideation, and eventual recovery, revealing how vulnerability and self-care became his path to freedom. We explore the power of telling your story, breaking cycles of generational trauma, and how choosing courage—moment...
info_outlineChoosing Yourself Isn’t Selfish — It’s Necessary
In this episode of The One Day at a Time Recovery Podcast, I sit down with Hakeem to talk about what happens when performance, substances, and distractions can no longer protect us from unresolved pain.
Hakeem shares how the death of his younger brother, years of buried grief, elite athletics, addiction, and eventually incarceration led him to a moment of total reckoning. Sitting alone in a jail cell — without substances, screens, or distractions — he was finally forced to face himself.
What stood out to me most is Hakeem’s belief that recovery isn’t just about abstinence. It’s about returning to our natural state — mentally, emotionally, and physically.
Key Takeaways From Our Conversation
1. Addiction Is About Toxic Consumption
Many people quit drinking but replace it with sugar, gambling, porn, caffeine, or overworking. The substance changes, but the avoidance doesn’t.
2. The Work Has to Happen Before the Trigger
If the inner work isn’t done first, triggers become breaking points. When the work is done, triggers become opportunities for growth.
3. The TEFIC Framework
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Triggers – noticing what activates you
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Environment – what and who surrounds you
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Foundation – sleep, routines, structure
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Invest – time, energy, and money into growth
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Contribution – giving from overflow, not depletion
4. Community Is Where Healing Accelerates
There’s something powerful about being seen and understood by people who have lived it — not just professionals talking at you, but peers walking alongside you.
Action Steps I Encourage You to Try
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Identify one “acceptable addiction” you might be using to avoid discomfort
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Build a minimum daily foundation you can keep even on hard days
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Journal on this question: What keeps showing up as a trigger in my life — and what might it be pointing to?
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Seek connection, not just more information
📚 Books & Resources Mentioned
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Choose Yourself to Be Chosen — Hakeem Bourn McFarlane
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The Untethered Soul — Michael A. Singer
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The Way of the Superior Man — David Deida
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Outwitting the Devil — Napoleon Hill
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Can’t Hurt Me — David Goggins
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Atomic Habits — James Clear (referenced)
So without further delay, please enjoy this episode, and let me know what you think!
Guest Contact Info:
Instagram: @bigdreamhakeem
👊🏼Need help applying this information to your own life?
Here are 3 ways to get started:
🎁Free Guide: 30 Tips for Your First 30 Days - With a printable PDF checklist
Grab your copy here: https://www.soberlifeschool.com
☎️Private Coaching: Make Sobriety Stick
https://www.makesobrietystick.com
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Listen to the episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or Amazon Music, or you can stream it from my website HERE. You can also watch the interview on YouTube.
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