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409 From Elite Athlete to Inmate: The Wake-Up Call That Changed His Life

Sobriety: The One Day At A Time Recovery Podcast

Release Date: 12/18/2025

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Sobriety: The One Day At A Time Recovery Podcast

This is the second episode in the step work series with Sonia Kahlon. Co host of the sisters in sobriety podcast and a woman in long term recovery. And I’m tellin you, she is coming in HOT about Step 2! Before we dive in, a quick announcement. The show notes of every episode contain a summary, all the action steps and all the books mentioned in the episode. There is also a resources tab you’ll want to check out with a bunch of free guides like how to have sober fun, 30 tips for your first 30 days, as well as links to the YouTube channel. You can find all of these free resources to enrich...

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You Don’t Have to Lose Everything First: What Step One Really Teaches Us If you’ve ever looked at the 12 steps and thought that’s not for me, you’re not alone. I thought the same thing for years. The God stuff felt like a barrier. The word “powerless” felt insulting. And the idea that my life had to look like a wreck before I qualified? That kept me stuck longer than anything else. This week on the podcast, I sat down with Sonia Kahlon — founder of EverBlume and host of the Sisters in Sobriety podcast — to start working the 12 steps together, live, on air. Sonia has nearly nine...

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What if your energy was like a bag of Skittles? That’s the metaphor Anne uses in this conversation, and once you hear it, you can’t unsee it. Every day you wake up with a limited number of Skittles. Each one represents your energy — mentally, emotionally, and physically. The problem? Most of us are throwing our Skittles away without even realizing it. We spend them worrying about things we can’t control, replaying conversations in our heads, arguing on social media, or saying yes to things we don’t actually want to do. Before we know it, our energy is gone. And we’re left feeling...

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The Beliefs That Shape Our Behavior One of the most frustrating experiences in life is knowing exactly what to do, but still not doing it. If you’ve ever tried to quit drinking, build a new habit, improve your health, or pursue a goal and found yourself slipping back into old patterns, you’re not alone. In this episode, I talk with behavioral design expert and bestselling author Nir Eyal about why this happens. The answer isn’t a lack of knowledge. It’s BELIEF. The Motivation Triangle Nir explains that motivation isn’t just about wanting something. It’s actually built on three...

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The Root Cause of Emotional Eating In Sobriety There’s something we don’t talk about enough. You quit drinking. You do the work. You go to meetings. You build a life you’re proud of. And then… You find yourself standing in the kitchen at 9pm. Again. Maybe it’s sugar. Maybe it’s “just a little snack.” Maybe it’s eating in secret. Maybe it’s feeling out of control around food in a way that feels eerily familiar. A lot of people in recovery don’t want to admit this part. But it’s common. Very common. In this week’s conversation with Ali Shapiro, we unpacked something...

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More Episodes

Choosing Yourself Isn’t Selfish — It’s Necessary

In this episode of The One Day at a Time Recovery Podcast, I sit down with Hakeem to talk about what happens when performance, substances, and distractions can no longer protect us from unresolved pain.

Hakeem shares how the death of his younger brother, years of buried grief, elite athletics, addiction, and eventually incarceration led him to a moment of total reckoning. Sitting alone in a jail cell — without substances, screens, or distractions — he was finally forced to face himself.

What stood out to me most is Hakeem’s belief that recovery isn’t just about abstinence. It’s about returning to our natural state — mentally, emotionally, and physically.

Key Takeaways From Our Conversation

1. Addiction Is About Toxic Consumption
Many people quit drinking but replace it with sugar, gambling, porn, caffeine, or overworking. The substance changes, but the avoidance doesn’t.

2. The Work Has to Happen Before the Trigger
If the inner work isn’t done first, triggers become breaking points. When the work is done, triggers become opportunities for growth.

3. The TEFIC Framework

  • Triggers – noticing what activates you

  • Environment – what and who surrounds you

  • Foundation – sleep, routines, structure

  • Invest – time, energy, and money into growth

  • Contribution – giving from overflow, not depletion

4. Community Is Where Healing Accelerates
There’s something powerful about being seen and understood by people who have lived it — not just professionals talking at you, but peers walking alongside you.

Action Steps I Encourage You to Try

  • Identify one “acceptable addiction” you might be using to avoid discomfort

  • Build a minimum daily foundation you can keep even on hard days

  • Journal on this question: What keeps showing up as a trigger in my life — and what might it be pointing to?

  • Seek connection, not just more information

 

 

📚 Books & Resources Mentioned

  • Choose Yourself to Be Chosen — Hakeem Bourn McFarlane

  • The Untethered Soul — Michael A. Singer

  • The Way of the Superior Man — David Deida

  • Outwitting the Devil — Napoleon Hill

  • Can’t Hurt Me — David Goggins

  • Atomic Habits — James Clear (referenced)



So without further delay, please enjoy this episode, and let me know what you think!

 

Guest Contact Info: 

Instagram: @bigdreamhakeem

 

👊🏼Need help applying this information to your own life?

Here are 3 ways to get started:

🎁Free Guide: 30 Tips for Your First 30 Days - With a printable PDF checklist

Grab your copy here: https://www.soberlifeschool.com

☎️Private Coaching: Make Sobriety Stick

https://www.makesobrietystick.com

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Listen to the episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or Amazon Music, or you can stream it from my website HERE. You can also watch the interview on YouTube.

https://www.youtube.com/@theonedayatatimepodcast?sub_confirmation=1

 

 

Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-one-day-at-a-time-recovery-podcast/id1212504521

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