001: We Feel the Way We Think

In this first episode of the podcast, I talk about how our thoughts influence our emotions. This principle was discovered—or rediscovered—by American psychologists and pioneers of the cognitive model, Albert Ellis and Aaron Beck. They were drawing on ancient wisdom, such as that of Greek philosopher Epictetus, who wrote in his philosophical manual, the Enchiridion:

“What disturbs men’s minds is not events but their judgements on events”

(Epictetus, The Enchiridion, c. 135 A.D.)

Going back even further, Buddhism’s sacred scripture, the Dhammapada, start with these words:

“All that we are is the result of what we have thought: it is founded on our thoughts; it is made up of our thoughts.”

Opening lines of the Dhammapada (c. 500 B.C.E., trans. F. Max Müller)

Today, cognitive-behavior therapy posits that:

1. We feel the way we think
2. When we feel depressed/angry/anxious, the thoughts that create those difficult emotions are distorted
3. You can change the way the way you feel by changing the way you think

Albert Ellis noticed the following set of beliefs in North American culture (if you are not from North America, don’t worry—those beliefs are very human and tend to be generously spread around the world):

1. It is a dire necessity for adults to be loved by significant others for almost everything they do
2. Certain acts are awful or wicked, and that people who perform such acts should be severely damned
3. It is horrible when things are not the way we like them to be
4. Human misery is invariably externally caused and is forced on us by outside people and events
5. If something is or may be dangerous or fearsome we should be terribly upset and endlessly obsess about it
6. It is easier to avoid than to face life difficulties and self-responsibilities
7. We absolutely need something other or stronger or greater than ourselves on which to rely
8. We should be thoroughly competent, intelligent, and achieving in all possible respects
9. Because something once strongly affected our life, it should indefinitely affect it
10. We must have certain and perfect control over things
11. Human happiness can be achieved by inertia and inaction
12. We have virtually no control over our emotions and that we cannot help feeling disturbed about things

Aaron Beck researched the thought content of depressed people, and found that his patients reported:

• Low self-esteem and feelings of inferiority
• Sense of deprivation or aloneness
• Self-criticism or self-blame
• Magnifying their problems
• Speaking to themselves in terms of “shoulds” and “musts”
• Wanting to escape their unsolvable problems, sometimes through suicide

(Aaron T. Beck. “Thinking and Depression: I. Idiosyncratic Content and Cognitive Distortions.” Arch Gen Psychiatry. 1963;9(4):324–333)

Types of Irrational Beliefs:

1. Core Beliefs (or Schemas) — serve as a basis for screening, categorizing, and interpreting experiences.
2. Conditional Assumptions — beliefs that shape your response to experiences and situations. Conditional assumptions that focus specifically on ways of influencing others become interpersonal strategies.
3. Automatic Thoughts — spontaneously flow through our mind in the moment.

Practice

In the following handout you will see that it is divided into 4 columns. In the first column, note what is the situation where you are feeling discomfort; for example, “Hanging up the phone after talking to mom.” In the second column, write down the thoughts that come up; e.g. “I need her to love me.” In the third column, check the box that corresponds to the type of thought, as I described earlier, e.g. Automatic Thought, if the thought is a spontaneous reaction to the situation, Conditional Assumption, if represents your interpersonal strategy, or Core Belief, if that’s one of your basic assumptions about yourself, others or the world. Finally, in the fourth column write down how that thought might be distorted.