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003: Emotions Are Constructed

Peace at Last!

Release Date: 02/20/2020

013: Hope Is a Four-Letter Word show art 013: Hope Is a Four-Letter Word

Peace at Last!

In this thought-provoking podcast episode, we delve into the complex topic of hope and its various dimensions. The discussion begins by questioning whether hope is inherently good or bad, taking inspiration from the myth of Pandora's box. This narrative leads to an exploration of different definitions of hope, from dictionaries that offer a neutral perspective to various public figures and scholars who have attempted to redefine this multifaceted emotion. The Duality of Hope The podcast delves into the duality of hope, pointing out that hope can exist on a spectrum between certainty of...

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012: You Don't Get Your Just Deserts show art 012: You Don't Get Your Just Deserts

Peace at Last!

The expression “getting your just deserts,” according to Merriam-Webster, means receiving the punishment that you deserve. This episode looks at rewards as well as punishment. The idea is to explore whether we can be said to deserve something or not. I explain that there are three separate meanings for this notion: 1. Merit — What we earn through talent and effort 2. Civil Rights — What our culture, society, and laws say we are entitled to 3. Intrinsic Deserts — What we imagine is inherently ours from the simple fact of being human See Also 1. The Tyranny of Merit (2020), by Michael...

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011: Three Little Words That Can Mess up Your Life (Part 3) — Want show art 011: Three Little Words That Can Mess up Your Life (Part 3) — Want

Peace at Last!

Today’s topic is about the word “want.” Even though we spent the last two episodes talking about how having preferences is a healthy alternative to imposing “shoulds” or “needs” upon ourselves. I present here three reasons why we fall into some thinking traps when we use the word “want.” Those reasons are: We don’t really know what is best for us. We tell ourselves that we want one thing, when evidence points to the contrary. We mainly know what we don’t want, rather than what we do want. See Also (2006), by Dan Gilbert , by Aesop (2009), by Rick Hanson Music:...

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010: Three Little Words That Can Mess up Your Life (Part 2) — Need show art 010: Three Little Words That Can Mess up Your Life (Part 2) — Need

Peace at Last!

In this second part of a miniseries on the words we say to ourselves that create tension and distress, today’s word is “Need.” Today we talk about: The psychological theories of needs, which are in fact theories of human motivation. Byron Katie’s radical approach to needs. The fallacy of speaking in terms of absolute needs. How to use the word “need” in a relative context. Practice Semantic Method — replacing “need” with “It would be nice if…” or “I would prefer it if…” and remembering that the use of the word “need” implies the subordinating conjunction...

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009: Three Little Words That Can Mess up Your Life (Part 1) — Should show art 009: Three Little Words That Can Mess up Your Life (Part 1) — Should

Peace at Last!

Are you “shoulding” all over yourself? The word “Should” happens to be one of the most insidious in the English language. In today’s episode, we talk about how: Psychoanalyst Karen Horney called “The Tyranny of the Should” this tendency to create an idealized self and a rejection of the real self. Albert Ellis spoke about the three kinds of “musts.” Using the word “should” is conveying criticism, like “scolding” oneself (or others). The value statements implied by that word are arbitrary and relative. The laws of Nature do not follow any “should,” but instead are...

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008: There Are Only Three Kinds of Business show art 008: There Are Only Three Kinds of Business

Peace at Last!

Byron Katie likes to say that there are only three kinds of business in the world: mine, yours, and God’s. God’s business refers to the forces of Nature or to events that are beyond human control. Your business, is someone else’s life, including what they feel, think, and choose to do. My business is what’s left, that is, what is within my control. In his popular book, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Stephen Covey describes the notion of Circle of Concern and Circle of Influence. We add here the Circle of Control, where Circle of Control = What I choose to do and can directly...

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007: What Is Enlightenment? show art 007: What Is Enlightenment?

Peace at Last!

We’re taking a left turn, today, from cognitive theory, and we are going to talk about spirituality and the place it occupies on the path to peace. I refer to Sam Harris’s book, Waking Up, and I quote from an episode of his podcast, Making Sense. The book Ashrams, by Arnaud Desjardins, is probably out of print. So is Spiritual Awakening, by Ram Dass. See Also - A Mind at Home With Itself, by Byron Katie and Stephen Mitchell  - Tao Te Ching, by Lao Tsu, translation by Stephen Mitchell - Ego, by Alan Watts - The Perennial Philosophy, by Aldous Huxley - The Brain’s...

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Bonus Episode — Social Distancing show art Bonus Episode — Social Distancing

Peace at Last!

If you are in the same situation as me, you are mostly staying home with the members of your household, except for necessary outings like getting food, gas, or just getting a breath of fresh air. Many of you may also be working from home, as I am. As a result, you may be feeling rather isolated. And that’s where I wanted to make my point. Had this virus hit 25 years ago, we wouldn’t have had all the technology to connect with each other like we do now. We only had telephone and maybe email for some. Now, we can see each other on a big screen TV and talk to friends and relatives who live on...

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006: Thinking Traps (Part 3) — Personalization show art 006: Thinking Traps (Part 3) — Personalization

Peace at Last!

The next 4 Thinking Traps are grouped under the category Personalization. We commit these distortions when we cannot step outside of our own egocentric perspective. Thinking Traps: Personalization Personalization (Me, Self-Blame) Helplessness Blame (Them, Other-Blame) Always Being Right Emotional Reasoning (Naïve Realism, Affective Realism) Should (Should Statement, “Musturbation”) Perfectionism Comparison Fallacy of Fairness Antidotes Reattribution  Acceptance Paradox Semantic Method  

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005: Thinking Traps (Part 2) — Arbitrary Inferences show art 005: Thinking Traps (Part 2) — Arbitrary Inferences

Peace at Last!

The next 4 Thinking Traps I am going to talk about are grouped under the category Arbitrary Inferences. They consist of making interpretations without having examined all the data. Thinking Traps: Arbitrary Inferences Jumping to Conclusions (also: Inference-Observation Confusion); Fortune Telling; Mind Reading; Labeling (also: Mislabeling) Antidotes Examine the Evidence Consider Alternate Possibilities Keep a “Don’t-Know” Mind Survey Technique Let’s Define Terms

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More Episodes

Let’s talk about emotions, today. Notice that I normally tend to use the word “emotions,” rather than the word “feelings.” The word “feeling” often tends to be ambiguous. When I used to ask untrained clients a question like “What are you feeling?” they would invariably answer in a sentence that started with, “Well, I feel like …”. It could be things like “I feel like I’m going to die,” “I feel like he’s judging me,” “I feel like I’m letting them down,” “I feel like something bad is going to happen,” etc. Those are not what I call “feeling words,” but judgments.

The Classical View of Emotions

The classical view of emotion, is the concept that we have evolved specific emotion circuits deep within our brains, and that they produce and encode a set of very basic emotions that have the same fingerprint in any human, and perhaps even in other mammals. When specific stimuli occurring in the world, these circuits will get triggered and produce the appropriate change in our body physiology, our neurochemistry, our perceived sensations, and finally in our behavior.

Furthermore, that theory claims that the basic set of emotions is so universal that any culture in the world can recognize which emotion someone expresses, just by looking at their face. Below, you’ll see the picture of a man in distress. He’s looking like he’s about to cry. This man is soccer player Cristiano Ronaldo, and the picture was taken in 2016, at the European Championship final, when Ronaldo was playing for Portugal’s national soccer team. France had just scored the decisive goal against his team.

Cristiano Ronaldo

Except that in that picture, the goal that Ronaldo had just witnessed was Portugal’s first goal against France, and the emotion displayed on his face is one of elation, and his watery eyes want to cry tears of joy. If you saw the picture before reading these words, you were primed to see a man who’s upset, and you probably agreed. It’s only in context that you could tell for sure what the expression on his face meant.

Affect and Interoception

Coming back to a definition of the word “emotion,” we consider an emotion starts with an internal sensation, using a sense called interoception. Interoception our sense of the internal state of our body. For instance, if I perceive what I label as “anxiety,” I feel a sort of constriction in the center of my chest. This is an example of interoception. But that doesn’t have to be uniquely related to emotions. If I have heartburn, I will also feel a strong feeling in the center of my chest, albeit somewhat different. That, too, is an example of interoception. The main difference between anxiety and heartburn is how I interpret the sensation, based on my context. How I give it an emotional meaning.

The concept of “affect” is your basic sense of feeling. It has two main components: Valence and Arousal. The Valence dimension goes from unpleasant to pleasant. The Arousal dimension goes from agitated to calm. Below is a circular diagram called the “Circumplex Model of Affect.” The feeling words are arranged around a circle, positioned roughly according to their level of Arousal and their level of Valence.

Circumplex Model of Affect
(Russell, 1980; the original paper did not place the words in such a neat circle)

A positive emotion will be associated with pleasant affect. A negative emotion will be associated with unpleasant affect.

Interoception and affect are hardwired in us, but our emotions are not. They are constructed, based on a large number of experiences we have had along our lives.

The Predictive Brain

According to Lisa Feldman Barrett, the brain’s job is to manage our energy budget. In order to manage this budget, the brain makes predictions. We predict what’s going to happen next and our brain manages our physiology accordingly.

Fine-Grained Emotional Concepts

The granularity of detail in how finely you can distinguish one emotion from another is a predictor of greater happiness and success in life. This capacity is called Emotional Intelligence, a term coined by Dan Goleman.

Practice

You’ll find below a handout with a list of feeling words. On the front side are words that correspond to a positive Valence—pleasant affect—and on the other side, words that correspond do a negative Valence. The negative side has a list that’s quite a bit longer than the positive side. Our culture has a finer resolution for uncomfortable emotions than it does for pleasant ones. But also our brain has a negative bias. Print out that list and expand your emotional vocabulary. When somebody asks you how you are doing, instead of replying a mundane “Fine!” try on the following feeling words, for size: “I’m feeling giddy, today!” “I’m quite cheerful, lad!” “Feeling mellow…”