#410 Learning From Our Life Stories - Part 1

Unlocking the Power of Aha Moments

Stories, Metaphors, and Hypnosis

In this longer episode, we delve into the transformative power of stories and the hidden metaphors they hold. Join me as I share a poignant story from a recent webinar for my son's Mind Mastery group, which helps people overcome anxiety and find their life purpose. This story resonated deeply with me, revealing a hidden metaphor that can be harnessed through hypnosis.

We'll explore:

 

• The concept of finding your "North Star" and aligning with your life purpose.

• A touching story about self-discovery and living authentically.

• How to identify and utilize your own aha moments for future growth.

 

You'll learn:

 

• How to reflect on past aha moments to unlock hidden strengths.

• Ways to use these moments to overcome self-doubt and excuses.

• A unique hypnosis process to integrate these insights into your daily life.

 

By the end of this episode, you'll be inspired to revisit your own life stories and aha moments, using them as powerful tools for personal development. Ready to dive in?

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Shine brightly

Paul

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And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism

Paul Clough shares a story that has a hidden metaphor for hypnosis

 

Here's your heads up to this longer podcast. It's all about stories or a particular story that is that. It just got me. It just got me. It had a hidden m, a, hidden metaphor for me that I just wanted to use. So I want to share it with you and follow it with a hypnosis process just for you. So have a listen, and then we'll dive all the way in to the unconscious mind

Hey, welcome to the longer podcast. And I'm going to guess, if you're like me, you like stories. Stories bring us in, don't they? They teach us things. And when you find a story that has a, hidden metaphor within it, something you can learn from and use, it's awesome. So that's what I'm going to share with you today. And it's via a webinar I did for my son's mind mastery group, which is a group that, that he set up to help people get rid of anxiety, confidence, and get rid of their core issue and live a meaningful life. And twice a month, I give a q and a, live q and a. And in this particular one, I share a story, a story that evokes something in me and also got me to think of how I could use that metaphor in hypnosis, to use what we've learned. Use aha moments of the past so we can use the learnings from those in the future. Because I don't like aha moments to just be a one off, a five second ah And then they're gone. I thought to myself, let's use them. Use them in the future so we can have the benefit of everything. So if that's of interest to you, I hope it is. Have a listen, and then we'll follow on with, a hypnosis track of a process that I don't know has ever been done before, but it's really interesting. And that will be on a separate track, that'll be in a separate episode, which will come out probably tomorrow. Okay? So have a listen and just enjoy the stories.

 

 

I've been thinking about finding my north star, finding your passion

 

So here we go. So the pause. Now the pause. And I'll tell you for why I'm pausing, because I'm not sure about this next bit. I'll tell you that now. I'm not sure because I, I did say it was serendipitous, because I've been doing a lot of thinking, a lot of writing as I, you know, I think about loads of bloody stuffs. Load of it. Loads of it may be called twaddle and it just goes in and out and, and gets me a little bit confused and then I get a little bit of clarity. But thinking about one of the things I've been reading lately is about, it's called, it's calling, find your calling for finding your, your passion. And someone's the person I'm reading now is calling it their north star, finding your north star. And I guess that's, you know, the direction you're heading in, where you're going, being pulled, using your life purpose and okay, and different missions will go in their different ways, but all heading towards that north Star. And I quite like that analogy. so I've been thinking about my north star. I'm always confused about where I'm going and am I doing the right thing. And then this morning I was in, I was in the gym and instead of listening to a normal podcast and doing all that stuff, I listened to a different one, had it on there for a little while. And it's mainly based in America where they have these story competitions and people get up and tell a story and they get the story of the month and the week and the whatever. And it's called the Moth, I believe it's called the Moth. Lovely web, Lovely podcast. And I thought, well, I'll listen to a few stories instead of going too deep. I don't want to go deep today. I'm just going to go on my old treadmill and do my stuff and I just want to listen to some stories. And the first story came up and it was, it was okay, it was just a story. But the, and again, where I got this from was a guy, I think I've, I have spoken about him before and I can't remember his name. He was a guy who did the homework for life with a little book, just making a note of all the good things that happened to, and he, and in his book he said there are stories that people tell which are basically just, well, they're just tales. They're nice, nice things to reminisce about, but there's maybe nothing too deep into them. They're just something you would tell and oh look, this is what happened to me on the way to work. I saw this and did that or whatever, but he said, a real story, a real story is something that has a five second aha, moment, a five second change in your life and it doesn't always come in the middle. It might come at the end of that story where just suddenly something happens and it's not normally the thing you think about. I'll give you a little example, Joe. And I'm. Excuse me for some. I'm not going to tell the whole story because this is Joe's story but some of you might have heard it. He was, he was having a bit of a time when he was young because he was going through changing careers, as it were. He was only 17 changing careers looking 18, 1718 going towards hypnosis and things like that. And to go to hypnosis, this is a weird thing I had. I got him to go to a hypnosis, class, or it was a week's workshop purely to find out where he would like to work, find his vocation. Certainly didn't think it was going to be in hypnosis because that's what it happened. Suddenly hypnosis became the thing. But that sparked his, deeper thoughts, I think. And it was on his birthday and I'll tell just very briefly he was on his birthday and he's coming home quite late because he's obviously just been celebrating with his friends and he's back in Cambridge. And I love this story because I can be there with him because he said I was standing out my, outside our front door and I can remember how the front door went and the lobby and things like that. And he said it was so, so dark and then it got really quiet and then I could hear a few birds but not many. And then it got quieter and he said, because I've been searching for this thing inside me or I've been searching for this thing, I've been looking at things like a bit of YouTube, I guess was around. I've been looking online, been reading books. There was a lot of recordings at those days, you know, how to improve your life, find your passion, find your missions. He said, I couldn't find anything. I couldn't find anything at all. But then in the quiet just before, I came inside I was just by myself and I stopped and he went really quiet. He said, then I suddenly realized there is nothing outside that's going to teach me to lead me because suddenly I went inside and found that everything I have is inside me now. And he goes into much deeper than that and it's a lovely story and it's a true story but that was that little aha, moment that suddenly he'd been searching and searching for and it could have had aha, moments all over the place. And there probably were, but not the real personal one.

 

 

A man tells two stories about being gay and proms in his family

 

So I'm listening to this story, and the first story, as I said, was pretty good. And then the second story came up. And, this guy's talking, and he's telling the story of how he'd been going out with this girl. And he was going. They arranged to go to their prom. And he said proms were really important in my family. I said, on a particular wall we have. We have photographs of all the proms that have been around. I got my mum and dad's prom. There was my sister's prom. There was my uncle and aunties. And every relation you can think of. We had pictures of the prom. and now it was mine. He said, I was going out with this girl. But he said something wasn't quite right. I didn't know what it was. And I started to do things, to organize things. He said, in as much as I was designing my suit to go. And I also designed the girlfriend's dress that she was going to wear. And, it was really quite strange because I had to go and draw them, and I can't draw. And I had to go and design them, and I can't design. And I was doing all of this, and it all felt quite strange. He said, now, as I started to do this, this girl suddenly decided this isn't right either. So she said she dumped me just like that. But he said I had, about 50 yards of silk. So I could make anything I liked, which is quite weird. But he said, there's still this funny feeling inside of me. He said, obviously my parents weren't quite so happy. Because they were looking for this blooming picture on the wall. And now this prom had disappeared. Couldn't go. He said, I did go, but it wasn't what they were looking for. So whatever photograph they took, it was not going up on that wall. And he said, I kept pushing those feelings away from me, pushing them down, but they were weird feelings. And he said, then I went through a few years, and I met other people. And he said, I think to them it was totally obvious of what was happening to me. What was changing. But what I wasn't recognizing, maybe I wasn't prepared to recognize, he said, because they all knew I was gay, and I didn't. And this isn't, that isn't the aha moment you all think that's the ha ha moment, he said, and I've been pushing that canis down. If you could do that. But he said, I just. I was trying to. It wasn't what I wanted to do, and I wasn't sure and I wasn't doing this, and I was going through my life and I was meeting friends and that, and they all knew. The weird thing was he never mentioned his parents about that, but he said, I did, actually, a few, couple of years later, the old girlfriend who dumped me, she got in contact and we met up and she said, there's a dance over there. It's a bit like a prom. Shall we go? And he said, yeah, we'll go. But she kept smiling at me in a funny way, as if to say, you know, you do know, don't you? And he said, but I hadn't really said anything, hadn't done anything. And then he said, we went. We had some weird photographs because I was dressed the way I dress, and it wasn't as most people, lads would, dress. And she was a bit weird as well. So she was out there and we had some photographs and it was like a prom photograph. And he said, that never went on a wall either. Mum and dad didn't want that at all. He said, but here's the thing. Here's the thing. I'm married now. And, everyone started clapping in this room and said, yeah, I've got a husband because we love each other. You know, we're both gay and we love it. I've come, I'm there. I'm living my life now. Still not the aha. Moment yet. And he said, we. We're married. I'm living my life the way I want to live it. So we've actually got two children. Still not the aha. Moment. And he said, none of these pictures are on the wall in my mum and dad's house. And everything went quiet. There's a little bit of sadness still. No aha moment. He said, but here's the thing. In my home with my family, of a wall, and on my wall I put every bloody picture that means so much to me. Children, my husband. Everything I do is on my wall because it's my wall and my life. And that was just a little thing that he knew with his wall. Now he's now living a true life, something that he hadn't been doing. And I felt I was really touching and it was nice. And, I was thinking, well, why has that come into. Why is this story touching me in a way that normally it's a nice story. There's a learning there and what have you. But I thought to myself, how can we learn from that type of story. Because, you see, I'm just looking at my notes a little bit. We have our own life story, don't we? And I wondered, thinking back to that very first bit we were talking about, where are the wonderful aha, moments in our lives from the past? Maybe we could reflect on them, to find them again. Because I was thinking to myself, I think I mentioned this on the last one, trying to find memories from my past, my childhood, because you can think of one or two, but the more you think about them, the more another memory might just slip in. And you go, ah, do it. And it's like they build from each other.

 

 

Think of the times in your life that have changed you

 

Well, if we look for aha moments now, think of the times in our life that have changed us. And I had a little think about this, and it's only today. And thinking, yeah, I can remember that time, and we can all go into our darkest time sometimes. But there was a five second aha, moment there, positive. In the darkness, there's a five second aha, moment that suddenly changes your life completely. And mine was something like, well, you're strong enough to do anything you want. Because five minutes before, I didn't feel strong, but suddenly I thought, hey, that's right. There was that aha, moment. Can't quite place it, but I know it happened. And I was thinking of other times in my life where I maybe was doing something. I can remember doing things in with a client and getting an aha moment. I've told you this. I'm sure I've spoken about this before. When I was stumped. I was completely stumped with a client. Didn't know what to do. Was going to say, do you know what? Hands up. Let's call it a day. But then something inside just said, shut up. Get out of the way. We've got it. And something came out. The question came out of my mouth. And even I was, like, looking at myself going, what a damn good. I actually said, I said swear words, but I said, what a damn good question. That was Cloughie. And that was an aha moment just to get out of your way, to trust yourself. And what I'm thinking about here is in those aha moments to remember them so we can use them again in the future. So it's a little bit like the going to sleep, the things we enjoyed, what can we learn from? But on those aha, are we still learning from them in times when we. For me, when times when I maybe don't feel as strong as I want to going back to that aha, that back then was a lot more dark, than it is now. And I was strong enough then. I'm more than capable now. excuse me, getting out of your way. There's so many times I've used that aha moment, but that's with clients. But I'd like to do that with other people, maybe as I'm talking, just to really concentrate and let's let things happen. Connection.

 

 

Joseph: Sometimes we give ourselves excuses about things we would like to do

 

So I was thinking about what aha, moments have you, maybe you went through and just thought to yourself, what was one aha, moment in your life that really was maybe that small in its timing, 2 seconds, 5 seconds, but was so empowering, so life shattering, changing that you experienced? And then think of, Maybe I can explore it. Not explore the bit behind it, but explore the bit that comes after. How can I use this? How can I use it more? Why? Because I'm very conscious now about wasting them, wasting the good things that have gone on in our lives. And these aha moments, are something that we've suddenly become, I know, congruent, aligned. And it's maybe not just with us, but might be, I say with us, me and my unconscious mind, but it could be with the multiverse universe or whatever our belief is up there, where suddenly we're in the moment with everything. It's a bit deep, isn't it? A bit deep, but I think it's there from and all from this one bloody story this morning, even though I've been thinking about these things before. And it's like, as I say, serendipitous things just coming together to allow us to explore and how we can have more of these, why waste them? To me, if we can have an aha moment, how can we use the learnings from that? Or how can we remind ourselves to keep using them? In times of, negativity, maybe things aren't going quite right for us. And how could we latch onto something which is so much more powerful? And then I thought to myself, I did a lot of thinking today, by the way, that's the aha moments. That's the wonderful times. Now, that person telling the story was not acknowledging the feelings he had. As I said, he was like pushing them down, pushing them away, trying to ignore them, and in effect, not living his true life. And certainly the difference between then and how he finished the story, there was a massive difference in the quality and the richness of his life. So I thought about maybe there's things in our past that we've put off, and we've talked about it before in where people have said, oh, you can't do that, you're not good enough, competition's too high. Who are you to think you are? And ah, we give up. And I say give up by saying, I'm going to put that to one side. We sort of park it, but in our heart we sort of know we'd like to unpark it. But we've got this belief, maybe that's given to us, that on that particular context, I'm not going to be there, not going to be good enough, not going to be able to achieve. Other people will put me down. The old imposter syndrome, which doesn't exist other than up in your head, comes to light. And then I thought again, that's one thing, but what about the excuses of things that we would like to do and we don't acknowledge? Maybe they're similar, but maybe they're things that we give our own excuses. So instead of somebody else saying, you can't do that, you're not good enough, maybe there's things in our life that are inside here that we'd really like to do, but we give ourselves an excuses when we'll say to ourselves, we're not good enough, or who do we think we are? I've got a family. I've got this, I've got that. Who am I to spend time on that particular thing? Who am I to think I'm sometimes better than the rest of my family doing this type of thing because they don't do it. Maybe they think, or maybe we think to ourselves and give this wonderful excuse. Well, I'm too old. I know. Joseph nearly gave this excuse when he first started. I'm too young. How am I going to work with, you know, I'm 18. How am I going to work with. Most of the clients that we had were 40 plus, they're double my age. They have double my experience, and I'm the one to help them. And he could have given himself the excuse. Well, I'll wait 20 years. Well, at least that aha. moment said no. this is your calling. This is your passion. Just go do it. It wasn't one again. Wasn't what's on the outside. It was what was on the inside that people connected to. But maybe we say we're too, say too old, too young. Maybe we say we're not fit enough, we're too fat, we're too, too malnourished. We have my knees ache. I, can't do this. I wonder what we have that if we dare to dream it now, we might not be able to do them all. But if we filtered them into what would give us the most pleasure. If we were brave enough, brave enough to look at our hopes and dreams that we've pushed to one side, I wonder what would happen. I wonder how rich our life would be. Everyone's got a decreasing Runway, but it doesn't matter how long the Runway is. It's how rich that Runway can be in experiences, in sharing and giving and helping other people on their runways. But we have to be brave to do the things that we love and more. And I thought, well, how is this all coming together? Wouldn't it be nice to, Once you expect something of yourself, you expect a result. You've got the confidence to do it, but it's up to you. And, no other bugger can put you off it unless one person lets them. And that's you. So it is you who determines what you're going to do. But can you be that brave now? I think we can be that brave. It just takes a little bit of time.

 

 

Paul Clough uses hypnosis to help people discover their aha moments

 

So here's the thing. I wonder, just for a few minutes. We've got 15 odds or so minutes left. If we went through a process, just a gentle one, just to get our, unconscious mind, like, as we go to sleep. But this time we're in a waking life. Just to get, your conscious mind to think of things as well. To think of things like our aha moments and get our unconscious mind to hook onto those and say, yes, more of this. Let's build upon this. But also the things that we've made excuses for. We've let ourselves off the hook. And for no, I don't know for what reason, but things we'd love to do that we haven't given ourselves permission to do. And let's just let our unconscious mind go through and find how richer, our life would be if we chose just one of those, let alone others. Because when we choose one, others will come along, or the one we choose will generalize into different areas of our life and spontaneously create more ideas, more creativity. So if it's okay with you to explore these type of things, and we're not going to go into the darkness, like I did for a little while, just to find out, I just want to know those aha moments. What. What was that aha, moment? What did I learn from it? So we're not going into. We're going into the past to look for the goodness, nothing else. Just so everyone's clear about that. So if it's okay for you to close your eyes just for the next few minutes, and that's where we're going to just call a short halt for this. So let your thoughts and musings go into your unconscious mind of wondering, how are we going to use this? How is Paul, how's my mate Cloughie going to put this into a hypnosis process and you won't have to wait too long. It'll be there with you on a separate track. And then put onto my hypnosis website page, which is paulCloughonline.com podcast. So they're all downloadable without the pre chat and the post chat. Okay. Because obviously the next episode will have a little reminder where we are and what to do next.

 

 

Well, thank you first of all for your company

 

Okay. So I hope you've enjoyed the stories where we're going and, hopefully are, a little intrigued, maybe curious, curious to see where we go next. So I hope. Well, thank you first of all for your company right now. And also I hope for your company on the accompanying, lots of accompanying, hypnosis track that will come out real soon. Okay. Have fun and fly. 000-0000 just before you fly, just before you fly. If, if you would like to find out a little bit more about my younger son's work, Joseph Clough, have a look at josephlough.com. you'll find all the things he does, all he does. Masses of hypnosis as well. Got a brilliant app for hypnosis and you can get everything you want, thousands of hypnosis tracks. And if you want to find about that, mind mastery, to let go of things, well, core issues, things of, you know, really deep stuff, do get on that josephClough.com and, send him an email. Anyway, that's my little thing for him. And now you can fly. Warning, you are now leaving the unplugged mind of Paul Clough. It's time to fly on your own. Be brave, my friend. Personal development unplugged.

Personal development [self improvement] [self development] [NLP] [Hypnosis]