Anxiety to Confidence - The Personal Development Unplugged Podcast

Anxiety to Confidence - The Personal Development Unplugged podcast. Dealing with all areas of anxiety, low self-esteem, fears to regain your confidence in all areas of your life, and being unique in using Hypnosis and NLP. Awarded one of the top 15 personal development podcasts A podcast for those wanting to let go of what holds them back through personal development but want it made simple and easy to understand and more importantly use, take action and make a difference to your life and the world you live in. If you want to change the way you feel and the way you act and react. If you have negative emotions, behaviors, that you want to lose forever and create something special in your life then I think you will like what you hear. In effect be the Real You Again! This genre of self-improvement, self-development, and mastery of your mind has, I believe, been made over complicated and secretive and here I am de-constructing the processes into their simple forms that we can all understand and easily use. There are no interviews just little ol’ me ;0) Who am I and what do I do?………Paul Clough. I now love helping making changes in people and to guide them to create the life they really want. A personal look at me: The above sentence was not always the case and being the best in the financial realms of the building industry was my aim and getting there by any means. I now know this is, and was, the worst way ~ even if I did make director of one of the largest building companies in Cambridge by the age of 30. One of the major realizations came on my first ever training in hypnosis. I found that it’s not a win-lose world and that a win-win is only a low basis to live. Being true to your beliefs and coming from a place of integrity where service is paramount. This understanding together with lots of NLP skills helped create my last partnership in the building industry grow from a turnover of £800k to £16m in less than twelve years and that can only be done with giving more than expected. Another shaping of me came from two traumatic events in my life that happened within six months of each other which created a number of major changes in me and my beliefs in what is possible. I have written about my experience and how I dealt with it but more importantly it really showed me my love for my three boys and theirs for me and resulted in the step up to become a trainer of NLP (which I never intended) and my close and exciting work with two of my sons. In supporting Joseph and help create change in people in our training’s and his wonderful life changing ‘Be your potential weekend’ and with Luke the continuing development of Cambridge Hypnotherapy and Hypnosis processes. My relationship with my third son Daniel just keeps getting better and better too. Not knowing how good I had become in change work, in the beginning, I generally studied, practiced, and saw clients then things started to happen when I started to work following just my instincts. Two clients come to mind both in effect dying from the effects of what was happening to them and the way they felt and within one and two sessions respectively not only won the will to live they changed virtually in front of my eyes and being apart of that process was and is the best feeling alive. The above are just three of the many brilliant learnings I have had in my life. The more formal bit Paul Clough I am a Trainer and Master Practitioner of NLP and Hypnosis and am passionate about assisting those who want to reach their full potential and his special skills form a unique foundation for success. I constantly seek and develop new skills and learning’s – through advanced levels of Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP), Time Line Therapy ™, Hypnosis and to improve everyone I work with. I have an understanding of the mind/body connection which enables me to create in my clients the difference that makes the difference ~ from excellence to outstanding. For those that want qualifications: Certified Trainer and Consultant of Neuro-Linguistic Programming Certified Master Practitioner of NLP & Time Line Therapy Certified Master Hypnotist and Hypnotherapist Together with Luke and Joseph I have consistently strived and succeeded to create ways to improve people's lives and give new beliefs of what’s possible. Our potential is without limits ~ infinite in every way.

#429 When Anxiety Whispers 01/31/2025

#429 When Anxiety Whispers When Anxiety Whispers Or Listening to the Whisper of Anxiety Transform Fear into Insight Hey, my unplugged friends! Have you ever felt anxiety creeping in, like a whisper that grows louder until it’s hard to ignore? If you’ve been there (and let’s be honest, who hasn’t?), this episode is for you. Today, we’re turning the tables on anxiety, exploring how those whispers might actually be signals for change. What if anxiety isn’t just random? What if it’s your unconscious mind’s way of keeping you safe and nudging you toward growth? Together, we’re going to discover how to really listen to those whispers without letting them take over. Here’s What You’ll Learn Today: The Hidden Message of Anxiety Anxiety isn’t just noise—it’s your unconscious mind trying to send you a message. Let’s uncover the positive intentions behind it. Breaking the Cycle Stop running from anxiety. With simple techniques like pausing, breathing, and acknowledging it, we’ll learn how to face it head-on. Curiosity as a Superpower By staying curious, we can decode what our anxiety is trying to tell us, turning fear into actionable insights. Empowerment Through Awareness When we listen to these whispers, we can learn from past experiences, break unhelpful patterns, and align with what truly matters. This episode is all about shifting your perspective. Instead of dreading anxiety, let’s celebrate it as a sign that you’re ready to grow and learn. Yes, it might feel uncomfortable, but those whispers? They’re here to guide you. Ready to transform anxiety into insight? Let’s dive in together. Tune in, and if this episode resonates with you, please share it with someone who might need a little encouragement today. Let’s spread the word and help more people on their journey of personal development! Listen now: Until next time—stay curious and shine brightly, Paul Shine Brightly 🌟 Paul Hey there! I’d love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at . Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review . Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit . Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to . Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure. Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on , Castbox, , YouTube, or on our . Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨ Music Credits Music by Wataboi, DreamHeaven, ccjmusic, and others from . And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism Some time ago, I got really anxious, and it was all to do with. I got, like, a text that was sort of threatening, wasn't a nice one. And I started to make pictures in my mind, having conversations with myself. And the pictures got worse, bigger. The words never stopped. And I kept looping from one to the other how bad this situation could be. And at the time, I've talked about this before, but at the time, I was away out of the country, so whatever happened, there was no way that I was going to meet this person who was sending this threatening text. But I still got anxious. It still affected me. Isn't that weird? Or the other w of this can happen is we just get a feeling, a feeling of fear, maybe, and we suddenly bef frightened about something. Not quite sure what, though. Or you just get that anxious feeling in your tummy, but it's not very specific, is it? It's just there. We're not quite sure what it is. We might do, we might know little about it, but not that sure, but it's just there. This episode is called When Anxiety whispers. Does that resonate with you Hey, welcome to the personal development Unplug podcast. You, you with the old earbuds in ge. Does that resonate with you? Because, you know, we're calling this, episode when Anxiety whispers. Now, neither of those is really a whisper. Was it, you know, the feeling, of fear? Anxiety doesn't feel like a whisper, but it is. And I tell you for why. Shortly you'll get it for why, where the whisper comes from. But the thing is, what I want to go through in this episode is what the whisper is trying to do for you. So what's the purpose? The purpose of having these feelings, these anxious feelings, and what it is, it's not random, is it? Or is it? We tend to think they're random. Why am I feeling this way? And I don't even know what it is that's random, but it isn't. It's your best friend, your unconscious mind, responding to something. It wants you to be safe, it wants to protect you. And so it's got a wonderful positive intention, but it doesn't feel good. But that's the whisper. Sometimes it's like letting you know, telling you that you're out of alignment. What does that mean? It's like. Well, it just doesn't. Something doesn't feel right in a relationship. We've all had those feelings, haven't we? Or is it just me. When something isn't quite right, can't put your finger on it, but you get a feeling. Every time you think about particular thing, you get a feeling, or maybe it's in your career, your job, the thing you do most days, you have this feeling that something isn't quite right. I've had that, quite a few times, and it's always proved to be right when I listen to it. Maybe it's a behavior or a habit that you've got that you know you're doing it and then you get that feeling and it's just showing you this behavior, this habit, isn't in alignment with who you really are. It's not right. It's not right for you. Might even be something like an unresolved emotion that's bubbling up to the surface now. You know, maybe just anxiety, but you're. A little bit anxiety. It feels maybe a little bit of grief or a bit of sadness or whatever. You fill in the blank. But it's like an unresolved emotion that's coming to the surface. And what this means is that you're ready, you're ready to learn. You're in the right place. So it's time to celebrate. Even though it doesn't feel that good, it's time to celebrate. Celebrate this icky feeling. Weird, cluy. I know, but come with me with this. Come with me with this. You see, the only reason it feels weird is because it tends to be a direct conflict. Your unconscious mind is trying to protect you, try to keep you safe, but they actually, you don't feel protected. and you don't feel safe. It's trying to let you learn from something, to keep you safer in the future. But at the moment, this feeling, this sadness, this grief or whatever doesn't feel good. And, so what do we do? What do we normally do? Well, we try to suppress it, don't we? We try to push it down, push it away. Try this with somebody. It's a weird thing to do. I do it with my clients. I just say, just hold your hand out, put your arm up and hold your hand out. And then I'll put my hand on their hand and I'll start to push it, push it back. I guarantee you 199.99% they'll push back. Because when you push something away, it always comes back stronger. And all this is, is a whisper, pay attention. And, when we push it away, we're notnna listen, we're notnna hear. And your unconscious mind is going to say, well you will listen to me. So I'm going to shout louder and the shouting louder is to make those feelings more intense, those negative feelings, those negative emotions more intense. Even though the positive intention is to make you feel better, it's going toa make you feel worse until you listen. So how do we listen? How do we listen to the whisper? We'll call it a whisper because a whispers. You know, some people say it's rude to whisper, but it's your unconscious mind whispering in a certain way just for you, just to you. And if you notice it doesn't stop, it will always keep whispering, trying to give you that information. So how can we listen? How can we listen to that whisper? Stopping, pausing and breathing, literally breaking the pattern. It's called a pattern interrupted nlp breaking the pattern of those thoughts and things and go woo. Just one moment, the stop and the pause and the breathing is now no longer pushing away. You're not accepting it by the way, but you're acknowledging it. I just say, well, thank you for this shitty feeling. Made myself laugh again. Thank you for trying to protect me. Thank you for whispering, thank you for getting me to pay attention. Get curious about your unconscious mind and ask what it wants you to know And once you've acknowledged it in this quiet time, and this quiet time doesn't have to be hours and hours, it could just be a couple of minutes. Just for the moment, just get curious. We can all get curious. Just think of a time when you've been curious. Could have been anything. Oh, I think I need to know something. That's curiosity. Get that feeling of curiosity and ask with your internal voice what I am afraid of. What do I need to address? What do I need to change? What is this feeling trying to tell me? and actually be more personal, I think. What are you trying to tell me? You my unconscious mind. What do I need to listen to? Give me a clue. And if you just listen with all your senses, which means not just listening to an internal voice which may be there straight away, but you may get a little memory that you can interpret. Maybe you get that emotion again and you go ah, now I know what it is. Ah yeah, I can address that and ideally will say it as usual. Get that little book with you. Have that little book handy. Phone are good enough. Ish. But a book is better because you can write it down my hand and just ask a question. If it's anxiety, is this feeling of anxiety, what are you trying to tell me? What is this anxiety telling me? What do I need to know? And you see what we're trying to do is go below the surface. Because, the feeling, the negative emotion is an effect, isn't it? It is not the issue. It is a signal. It is a whisper. It's the effect. And we're looking to find the cause of that effect, the thing that is creating that effect. And if you listen, you'll understand it. You'll get it just by acknowledging and taking your time. Because all your unconscious mind wants to do is, is share with you these things we can change. So if it's letting go of, fear, we can start to, well, face it maybe, but face it in small manageable steps. You know, if it's the think about maybe crowds and things like that, we'll just start small, just go to a coffee shop, go out with two people instead of 10. Sometimes it's a matter of having your boundaries, enforcing your boundaries, learning to say no, stop over committing people, pleasing. You don't please people by trying to please them. You don't. And maybe it's past emotions, stories from our past. Maybe you'get an indication, an idea of what went on. But the thing, you don't need to go back there. You can ask the questions. Well, if I knew of that past event without going there, what would I need to learn from it? What can you learn from it? What resources, emotions would have made it different. And you go, well, actually I don’t know another story, Paul. But you know the emotion. So what could be a different emotion that would make this, say, neutralize itself? So and if you do get that memory, well, how could it have been different? What would have been a better way? Yes, it's in the past. And the good thing is the past, it's gone. So now you can practice, if it happened in the future, to do it differently. So if you do, because sometimes we know, we know that this thing is about what happened the other day. Because it doesn't all have to be deep trauma from our past. Well, it is from the past, but you know, from our distant past. Could we, we just did something a little while ago and now we're embarrassed about it, or now we're know we've got a little bit of grief, sadness because we should have done something differently. So how could we have done it different if it happened in the future? How do we act? Be different? And just by doing that, you're, you're listening to the whisper, the whisper of your unconscious mind saying if we do this, you won't have to do it again. You've learned from the past. And that's what I'm saying, you're learning from past events to use in the future. Because there no bloody good. Keep going back to the past, harkeing on about the past. We learn from it. And just as an aside on this, and I've done this again, I'm sure it's on one of the hypnosis tracks. It's all about spinning a different feeling, feelings moving our body and, we can make them spin in a different way. So if you thought about this thing that you wanted to change, how could it be different in the future? You say, well, maybe if I was a little bit more aware, maybe not overconfident, but just comfortably in myself and aware. So what feeling would that be? If I was comfortably aware? And you'd get an idea what it would feel like and just imagine what colour that would be. I, know this is weird, but just imagine what colour that feeling would be. Comfortably aware. And if you did have that comfortably aware of feeling in that color, what direction would it spin? And again, you can just imagine it, make it up. Imagine moving your hand in that circle and you go. And as you make it faster in that colour, if that feeling of comfortably aware gets a little bit more intense, you know you've got that feeling. Using a whisper can give you a different perspective on situations And as you're spinning it, keep the hand moving if you want. And now imagine it out there in the future if it was to happen again, I'd be this way, I'd be different. Notice how you can imagine going through a similar event differently, with a different set of feelings. And notice how your behavurs would change because of those feelings. Notice how you would act differently, your physiology would be different, wouldn't it? Because you're comfortably aware as opposed to being shit scared or embarrassed or whatever. It'd be so much different. And then you can say to your unconscious mind, well, hey, thanks for the, whisper, but what would happen if we used it this way? We began to use our emotions, our behaviours this way, wouldn't it be better? And it all came from a whisper and you stopping and pausing, taking a breath, acknowledging, breaking the pattern, being curious. If you want to have a look for the hypnosis track, have a [email protected] poodcast and I'll send you a little link to the 65 hypnosis tracks. Look down for, for spinning or something like that. You'll see it, it'll jump out at you, it will. If you've got a problem, send Me an email as well and I'll jump out for you. I'll get it for you. Yeah. So there's so much we can do with a wonderful friend of yours giving you little whispers which we initially try to push away. And when we don't push away, we acknowledge we can start taking control. And control is maybe not the right word, but we can be empowered because we're at cause we are deciding how we want to be the best way we want to be the most comfortable way we want to be, the safest way we want to be. And your unconscious mind will jump at the chance to support you because that's what it does. So let's wrap this up a little bit. What do we need to remember from this? Well, you and your unconscious mind are, ah, one, you're one and not the other. And therefore your unconscious mind doesn't want to hurt you, doesn't want to scare you. Sometimes it's the only thing it could do to get your attention, just wants to protect you. So when we remember that, another thing to remember is, well, if we get these whispers, let's listen. Because when we stop, pause and breathe and we listen, we ask the right questions. What are we doing? Well, we're getting a differ perspective. And when you look at things differently, the things you look at are different. And I'll do another episode about getting a different, literally a different perspective on issues. But for the moment I'm just. This is what you're doing when you listen and you start to spin those feelings maybe, or you start to think about how you can do things differently because you've learned from the past. So we can use this as a tool, can't we now? And so this is not a foe to be frightened of. This is your best friend. Let your unconscious mind be your teacher. And what I mean by that is Maybe sometimes we could just review, review the day to come. That's a really weird thing to do. Review the day to come. And what I mean by that is you think about if there's something there that is giving you that negative emotional or a feeling that in the. You think, well, I've got to do this thing today. And it's. I don't feel that confident, maybe feel a little bit anxious. Well, how would I like it to be? What a brilliant question. How would I like it to be? I just imagine, imagine it happening that way. Certainly change the focus of your attention and certainly change the pictures in your mind because you know, you're thinking of how you'd want it to be. And then at the end of the day you might just Want to reflect and, what can I learn from it? So I guess in conclusion, what we're saying is let your unconscious mind be your teacher. Your anxiety as a tool, it s just a signal. Use it as a signal where change is to happen. It's like a little flag. Hey, if this changes, it'll be better. It's like a door that's just open, just opening a bit. And you can open that door to your dreams. You can become aligned with those dreams, your true self, your best self. Let's do it together. Listen, learn, let go and be pausing, reflecting, listening. That's what I want. for us, so we can learn and thereby taking ownership. Ownership of our bloody selves. Did you enjoy that? Did it make sense? Did it make sense? If it didn't make sense, Bloody email me [email protected]. let me know what didn't make sense and I'll try to make better sense of it. If it did resonate with you, you thought, well, maybe that's not you at the moment, but it will help in the future if anything happens. But maybe you know of somebody who is suffering a little bit from these type of feelings, negative feelings. Well, please share this episode with them. Tell them about the podcast, tell them about me, Cluffy. And also go to that hypnosis site. They're all complimetary. I've done it because I want to share what I know. My little bit of selfless service cost me money sticking it up on the website and things like that. But itn't my gift. I learned something and I'm trying to put it into action. Action that we can all use. So go to that hypnosis site at the end of this, I'll give you the I've done it before. A quick 90 seconds of hypnosis all it is and I tell you all about it. So I'll stick that at the end. Okay, have fun and just listen for the whispers. I ll make sense. And with that, enjoy every heartbeat. See you next time, my friend. Bye bye. Paul Clough puts hypnosis tracks on a separate website So the 90 seconds of hypnosis tracks. Why have I put hypnosis tracks on a separate website? Well, it's so simple really. I wanted you to have them all in one place so you can look through them all. You can find the particular one you want. I've even made them... /episode/index/show/personaldevelomentunplugged/id/34879260

FMQ 480 The Antidote To Negative Comments 01/28/2025

#428 New Year Resolution- What A Dick I Was 01/24/2025

#428 New Year Resolution- What A Dick I Was New Year Resolution What A Dick I Was I'm Rethinking Resolutions – From Dickishness to Empowerment Hey, welcome back to the Personal Development Unplugged Podcast – your space to dive into the real stuff that makes life better. In today’s episode, we’re shaking things up and rethinking New Year’s resolutions. Ever feel like you’re being a total “dick” for ranting against the whole New Year’s resolution thing? I know I have, and guess what – I’m here to apologize for it. I’ve always felt resolutions should be something we set any day of the year, not just on New Year’s Eve. But hey, who am I to decide? For many, that quiet time between Christmas and New Year is the perfect chance to reflect and set goals. So let’s embrace it! Now, here’s the deal: Instead of falling into the trap of vague and painful resolutions (you know, stuff like “lose weight” or “quit bad habits”), how about we focus on the joy of change? Let’s turn those “shoulds” into “wows” and set resolutions that excite us. How? By making them personal – focusing on what truly matters to you, not what everyone else thinks. Here’s a quick exercise: Grab a notebook and jot down three things you’d like to change about yourself – physically, emotionally, or behaviorally. Now, take about ten minutes and brainstorm anything else you’d like to change or improve. Let your imagination run wild! When you’re done, see if any of these new ideas replace the initial three you wrote down. Next, pick the one change that would make the biggest difference in your life. Ask yourself: What would this change allow me to do? How would it transform my life? What beliefs would support this change? Write those down and let yourself feel the excitement! Now comes the best part: What’s the smallest step you can take toward this change? And, most importantly, schedule it. Small, consistent steps are what lead to the big transformations. Please share what you learn: And don’t worry – I’m here to help. If you need any support or have questions, reach out to me anytime at . Let’s make these resolutions stick – and let’s make changes that really matter. Together, we can make the world a brighter place, one small step at a time. Subscribe, share, and keep growing. Shine Brightly 🌟 Paul Hey there! I’d love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at . Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review . Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit . Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to . Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure. Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on , Castbox, , YouTube, or on our . Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨ Music Credits Music by Wataboi, DreamHeaven, ccjmusic, and others from . And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism Have you ever thought what I thought? And that thought was like the title, what a dick. And that's me I'm talking about, by the way. What a dick am I. What a dick was I. And I had that thought just a little while ago. Why? Why, you ask? Because you're not. You're not a dick, Cloughie. I know you're saying that, really, I wish you well. It'd be nice if you did think that. But, hey, this is where I'm coming from. This is what I was thinking about. every year, every blooming year, I have a rant. I have a rant about New Year's resolutions. And it's about the time, it's about that time. And I was going to do that. I was going to do another rent. You see, most people, and this is what I do, I do it after most people's New Year's resolutions have disappeared. They started them with the best of intentions. Ish. And, they disappear. And I go on this rant saying how crazy it is to do New Year s resolutions in the New Year. Well, wait, I don't know what other time you do New Year s resolution. But, hey, you see, my thought was, why, only at, New year, we've got 365 days plus one on a leap year to make resolutions. And, I thought that was a brilliant thing to say. What a dick. What a bloody dick. Who am I to say what's right or wrong? And, I apologize. I truly, truly, truly apologize for being an absolute dickhead. And that's what I'm doing. I'm apologizing. So why am I doing this podcast now, then? Well, I still believe. I still believe there's 365 days in a year, plus a leap year day and all that stuff. And any day is good for a resolution. But the thing is, as I say, who am I? You see, if for some people, and, I'm one of them sometimes, well, I did it the other day. My son did it the other day. You see, for some people, this period after Christmas, before the New Year, is the only time that there seems to be time present. There seems to be spare time. It's a time of the year where we forget what day it is. You know, is it a Monday? Is it Tuesday, whatever. But there seems to be more time present. And I think sometimes the masses, the noise turns to New Year's resolutions. You know, we're pushed, I think, into New Year's resolutions. I heard the other day on the radio these people telling how good New Year's resolutions were. And I did buy it. I did buy it. I was going to do my little rant and again, what a dick. And then, then a bloody thought about it. Hooray. I thought to myself, don't be such a dick if that's what people do, if this is what we do. Because you did it yourself, Cluer. You sat down last night actually, and started to think about what you really want. It is a time to help people with that process, to help people with the process of resolutions. You use resolutions to make them successful. And the thing is, what I thought to myself was, if I can give that a little bit of help, share a couple of ways that would make that process successful. So New Year's resolution actually doesn't just bloody disappear, doesn't fade away. Then, maybe we'll start to think about that other 364 or five days that at any time when, when we do some change work, we just decide to do it. Because that day, that time will be right. So let's just have a little look or. New Year's resolutions tend to be pretty general, don't they Well, I had a little look. What, are New Year's resolutions? Yeah, I know that it's something we want to do, but just think about for a moment. I did. They tend to be pretty general, don't they? And I think they tend to be peer pressure, media pressure, you know, all that noise pressure. Lose weight. I'm gonna lose weight this year. I'm, gonna stop drinking this year. I'm gonna cut down my alcohol. I'm gonna run miles and miles and miles and miles and miles a day. And I'm going to start stop doing stuff. I'm, going to stop doing the stuff that I've been doing. I want to start doing other stuff. But when we look at each one of those, losing weight, stop drinking, running miles, stop doing the stuff that we've been doing for a long time, start doing stuff that we haven't done for a long time. I think the initial thought is, that's bloody painful. It doesn't enthused, does it? it doesn't jump out and go, yeah, yippee, I'm gonna lose weight. That's going toa be easy. O I'm just going toa stop drinking because I like drinking. I want toa run miles a day. Yeah. And all that stuff. So why wouldn't they bloody fel there we all hate pain, don't we? We all love some pleasure, don't we? I love pleasure. Pleasure is a nice thing. Wallowing. Pleasure is one of the little things I love to say. You know, there's something that gives you pleasure, wallow in it. Because it's a nice thing. And you're generally pretty safe when you do that in the world, or pretty safe in the world when you do that. It's like carrot and stick. Do you like being whoop round the head with a stick or do you be like. Or do you like being given a treat? I know that if you give someone a compliment compliment on something that they generally genuinely not generally genuinely have done a pretty good job, they will do it even better. And the stuff that they don't do quite so good, that comes up as well. Yet if you just criticize with that stick, they just retreat into a shell, and nothing gets better. so how can I help change that? That's what I thought. How can I help? Well, I look back and I use Cast Box a lot. That's a lovely little app for listening to podcasts. And, I've subscribed to my own podcast, the Personal Development unplugged podcast, just like you have. You have, you did, didn't you? If you haven't do it now. Do it right now. Just subscribe. You'll get the podcast Wednesdays and a Saturday. And you see, I look back through podcasts because you can search. And I just put the search term, goal in and there's at least 15 episodes comes up in that search just for the term gold. So I've done loads of episodes. Two very specific ones I did around about. It was in February. So it's like this thing after my rant, I then wanted to do something positive. So hash 271 and 272, which was a part two about the alternative or something. I think it was called the antidote to achieving your goals. Something like that. Now, you could do that. You could just say, Cloughie, you're such a, such a wonderful person. You're no dick. You've done all of this. I could listen to each one of those. You could, and I really hope you do. Certainly. 271-272-Because I know if you made a commitment to listen to those things would make a difference in your life, things would change. But before you do that, make a note. T71, T72 or search goal now come up. If you could change three things about you, what would they be But before you do that, having, made that note, let's just park that for the moment. And I want you to park all that peer pressure, all the things you should be doing, and we should all over ourselves what people say we should be doing, how we should look, how we should act, how we should behave. The noise, I, When I say the noise, it's like all those bloody. I'm, on it. I know TikTok and Facebook and all that stuff, but there's so much pressure there. And once you get clicking on one bit, it just keeps coming and you get more pressure. You start comparing against other people, or I should be like that, should be like that again, shooting all over ourselves. And then there's maybe pressure from the family, our friends. I call it peer pressure. But family pressure, partner pressure. And there's the pressure of the past. We look back how I used to be, how I always thought I wanted to be, and this is what I could have been and should have been and didn't do a good have, woulda, should have. So I want you to park all of that. That s. That's a pain, isn't it? That is the pain. So park it all. We don't need it. We don't want it. I just want you to think of this. And ideally, please have a little notebook. You've got one of those little notebooks, haven't you? Because we've talked about that before. A little piece of paper, a pen, pencil, and, I just want you to think for a moment. Think for a moment. If you were to change three things about you, if you could change three things about you, maybe physically, emotionally, behavurable, I your behave as your habits, maybe spiritually, maybe mentally, maybe I said issually, because I don't know that's a word. But what I mean is if there are issues that you, are affecting, you could be anxiety, could be guilt, could be a lack of confidence, could be, oh, I don't know, fear of anything, impostor syndrome, OCD anything like that. That'sually. So you've got physically, emotionally, behaviorally, spiritually, mentally and any other section. If there was just three things that you could change, what would they be? Now, I know you first of all think, well, actually, I don't know if I can change. No, no, no, I didn't say that. I said if you could. If you knew that you could make those changes right now without any fear of failure and they would make a, difference, the most difference in your life, what would those three things be? And don't worry about it for the moment, you Think. Oh, I can't pick that. Just pick three. Pick three that come to mind now and make a note of them. That so s all I want you to do. Just make a note of them for the moment. Yeah, Just three things. So imagine. Because if it was just imagination, you know you're not gonna do it. You know, you're not get my words right, Cly. They're not gonna change right now. So therefore it doesn't matter what you imagineus. You can have what you want. What you want. Not what other people want. Not the noise, not the family, not the past, not the peers. Peer pressure. Three things that if you think that if you were to have them now change, they would make the most difference in your life. I just write them down. Just write them down. Okay, that's eas, isn't it? Now I know you thought don't really need to write that down because I can remember three things now. I said write them down because we're gonn do something else now. I want you to write them down. And now I want you to take 10 minutes. Oh no, you've all got 10 bloody minutes. Everyone's got 10 minutes. And if you need to just pause this when you have 10 minutes and when you do, I want you to come back to, with that piece of paper, a different piece of paper. Because I want you to write what I want you to do for in 10 minutes, non stop, I want you to write out everything and anything that you would change. Absolutely everything. Don't let that pen leave the paper. Just go for it, man. Just go for it. No editing, no criticism, know nothing and just do it. And once you get the first two or three out, it will flow. And if you want to just pause and do it now, just go for it. Anything, and everything big, small, or big. Anything and everything that you like to have differently, to be different. And then at the end of that 10 minutes and if you did pause and now you've come back, what I want you to do is look at that list, what you've written on that page. Hopefully it's a big list. And when you look at though, everything on, that page or pages, open them out, does any one of those, maybe more than one, replace those first three things that you thought about when I asked you what would, if you could just change three things, what would they be? And just look. Because what sometimes happens is we pick the first three and they're the ones that we've been thinking about for years and years and years. And years and years. We've put in New Year's resolutions or whatever for years and years and years and years and years. And they're the stock. We just go in there, pick em out and that's a stock reply, the answer. And sometimes when we just load out all these different alternatives that we could have, it's like our unconscious mind and conscious mind come together and throw up something that's really real, that when you look at it, you go, shit, that would be good. That would really be good. I just look down that liston, see it. You'll get it. You'll see it. It'll jump out of you and go, well, that would. There's two there. Or maybe you find three new ones, it doesn't matter. But you find you take the first three and then if you replace any one, two or three of them, just do that. Find the things at, those top three now. And they're not casting stone by the way. We can change these as we go along. This is just to get you really going. But those top three, get them and I want you again, another piece of paper. Shitload of paper this isn't it, but it's good. Small steps done consistently have an incremental difference. I've talked about smaller steps before I want you to think and write at the same time. Because when you write you really think. That's what thinking is when you really get into writing. What would this change allow me to do? Allow me to be different? Just write that, if I was to be this, I have this in my life, how would that be different for me? What would that allow me to do? What new things would it attract? How would my life change? And go 1, 2, 3. Do each one individually. And as you write them, see in your mind's eye and notice each one feels so good. Mmm, yeah, they would feel yummy. I don't know why yummy came r over my head, but that'd feel so good. Each one. And as you look back at the first one again, what belief would you have to have when you've got this change inside you, when you're doing it? What's that wonderful positive belief, I can do this, I've got it. Things m like that, what type of belief you have? Make the bugger up and you'll probably find that the feelings are the same. Ish. And this belief would work for each one of them as well. Well, maybe two beliefs, whatever it is, but they'd work for each other interchangeable. And they're so positive. And when you look at all three of them now, what you've described how you feel it, that belief. Notice the one that would make the most difference, the one that you said, out of those three, if I could only have one, what would it be? The one that would make the most difference in my life. And when you do that, put a bloody great big line under it, put a highlighter over it, write number one. Yay. And then think to yourself, okay, fine. What'the one small step that I could do now, what is one small step? The smaller step. I've talked about smaller steps before. Small steps done consistently have an incremental difference. They're marvellous, they're brilliant. Don't marvelous. But hey, write down what's the one small step that you could do? Do you know what you're gonna do? Younna schedule it, do it. If you can do it now, do it. If you can do it this afternoon, do it. If you can do it tomorrow morning, do it. Schedule it down, set it on your phone, put an alarm on and do it. And once you're doing that one, think to yourself, what's the next small step I could do? Look at it again. This is that one thing. This is what it's going to allow me to do. This is what it's going to feel. This is a belief I've got about myself. Do it. Act as if we've talked about. Act as if that's on the hypnosis tracks as well. If you want a little bit of help of acting as if that would be it. The five keys to success. It's another episode and another. I think I've done that in a hypnosis track would help you get into that. Picking one small step and then another and then another. And as you start to do that and you make the incremental steps of success, you'll find you will change. Those changes will come to you naturally because you've now set your intention. You know how good it feels. Your unconscious mind is latched onto this. You're in alignment. And then as you just start to that, you can look at maybe the second one out of the two that's left. Which one? If I had only one of those two, what one could I start? What one would I have now? What would make the most difference? Pick that one and think to yourself, guess what, what would be the smallest step I could do to do that while I'm doing the others? If I could add to this, maybe I'm only going toa do this one, once a week. So what's the step I'm gonna make this week, because the other one I'm doing, I, don't know, three or four steps a week, one every... /episode/index/show/personaldevelomentunplugged/id/34695220

FMQ 479 Learning From a Wiser You 01/21/2025

#427 Letting Go of Anxiety and Loneliness 01/17/2025

#427 Letting Go of Anxiety and Loneliness Letting Go of Anxiety and Loneliness -The Deeper Dive Breaking the Cycle of Anxiety and Loneliness Transforming Isolation into Connection Hey there, my unplugged friends! Welcome back to another episode of the Personal Development Unplugged Podcast—the place where we keep things real, relatable, and ridiculously helpful. Today, we’re tackling, again but deeper, what so many of us experience: the sneaky, self-reinforcing loop of anxiety and loneliness. You know the one—it starts with feeling anxious, which leads to withdrawal, which leads to loneliness... and before you know it, you’re caught in a cycle that’s hard to escape. But don’t worry, we’re diving deep into how to break free and rediscover connection. What We’ll Chat About Today Previously, we explored some practical tips like sending a simple text or making small, meaningful connections in your day-to-day life. These are brilliant starting points, but what if they don’t quite hit the mark? That’s where the deeper work begins. In this episode, we’ll uncover how your unconscious mind might actually be keeping these feelings of anxiety and loneliness around for a reason. Yep, your unconscious is trying to help you—just in an outdated, unhelpful way. Here’s the thing: anxiety and loneliness often stem from old patterns that were created to protect you in the past. We’ll ask powerful questions like: What is this anxiety or loneliness trying to protect me from? Where did these feelings first come from? By understanding the positive intention behind these emotions, you can guide your unconscious mind to let go of what doesn’t serve you anymore and replace it with something that does. Practical Steps for Transformation I’ll share simple but powerful exercises, like jotting down your qualities and strengths or visualizing the version of you that you’re ready to step into. These tools help you tap into the wisdom and resilience you already have inside. And hey, if this feels overwhelming, don’t go it alone. A skilled therapist can be an incredible guide in this process, helping you uncover the root cause of what’s holding you back. Let’s Make a Change Together So, are you ready to unplug from anxiety and loneliness? Let’s turn these challenges into an opportunity to grow, connect, and shine even brighter. Subscribe, press play, and share this journey with someone who needs it. Shine Brightly 🌟 Paul Hey there! I’d love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at . Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review . Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit . Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to . Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure. Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on , Castbox, , YouTube, or on our . Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨ Music Credits Music by Wataboi, DreamHeaven, ccjmusic, and others from . And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism We talked about the link between anxiety and loneliness a while ago Hey, a little while ago we talked about that link between anxiety and loneliness, isn't we? And we did some cognitive work, but we talked about how anxiety and loneliness seemed to feed off each other, don't they? There's a cycle, I remember that word inextricably linked. I said, and to do something about them we needed to break the pattern. We needed a pattern interrupt, didn't we? And what we talked about was more cognitive stuff, I guess, things to do consciously. So with the anxiety I talked about reaching out to people to consciously reach out. Maybe just a text to somebody saying something like hey, just thinking about you wondered how you were just reaching out to somebody. Just generally not wanting anything in return but just making that just to know there's people out there. And then there was that loneliness where we, we were seeking connection, micro connections. And I said things like when you go to the coffee, coffee shop just and literally not just when go to a coffee shop and talk to the barista. Hey, thanks man. You lovely cup of. I love the way you do that milk. And just little things that smile to somebody just making connections, micro connections, you see, they all work. And even if this anxiety loneliness link is creating real problems, they still work. Because small baby steps call, small incremental steps help break the pattern. They act as pattern interrupts. And those synaptic gaps of yours in your neuroplasticity and all that stuff that I have no idea what I'm talking about is they fire and wire together. You're setting up new connections little by little. And little by little these micro changes, incremental changes add up to something huge over a few days, over a month. So whether loneliness and anxiety is a little thing in your life that, that will work things like joining classes. And I said, you know, for me, if I was doing it, I would join a cookery. Cause I like cookery. Or cooking, creating things in the kitchen. And so at the worst if I didn't meet anybody, I'd come out with some really good skills, but I would meet somebody like minded people. And you don't have to go out your way to, to make that conversation ca. Because they're just there in the room. That's a little thing. So even, but even if you've got this issue of loneliness and the link, with anxiety and it's more, more of a problem to you now. Those little things are things that just will help, I don't know, just break the pattern. They call it in nlp, loosening the model of the world. Because at the moment you're in this model or you have this model of the world that is so tight it's yours and you believe there's nothing else. But then when you start to loosen it by doing these little micro things, things just happen or you create little cracks in them to allow new stuff in. So if this is though something that is getting to be a real problem now, I would always say without a shadow of a doubt, go and seek help, professional help, one to one therapy. Get into therapy if you can face to face. Did great work online and I love working online, but I prefer working one to one. Why do I prefer one to one? Because when you're in the room with somebody, you just get a little bit more, I don't know, intimate signaling. You can see the whole body. So if there's any communication, nonverbal communications that your unconscious mind is giving and they become clearer. But as I say, online works just as well. It just takes a little, it's another skill, I guess. But if you can see it one to one, as I said before, go. And for me anyway, this is my, it's my field that I grew up in or was trained in. It's really looking for someone who's a master hypnotist, someone who's really good at hypnosis, who can really help guide your unconscious mind to find what it needs to learn and let go of this anxiety and this loneliness, to notice what the conflicts are and just let it go. But not only just a master hypnotist, I would suggest someone who is excellent in NLP and timeline therapy. Because you tend to find. What I found is people who have those three skills, they just seem to get results really quickly and they're results that come through in a comfortable way. You don't have to go and revisit the old any traumas of the past. You don't have to worry about that because it's not gonna happen. It's your unconscious mind that learns from the past. You just have to know how you do what you do and how you want to be. And that's the most important thing, how you want to be. But it's that philosophy of understanding. Your unconscious mind is doing something for you, but it's now no longer inappropriate. The behaviours and emotions are no Longer appropriate. But I do understand that can be a bit expensive for some people. It can be. Now what I always do is I would say to you, first of all, if you are going to seek professional help, make sure you get a consultation. Because before you do the work you really want to find if you are comfortable with what that person is going to do, how they do it, what is their philosophy and does it resonate with you and ah, are you comfortable with them? Because if you don't tick those two boxes and you have to tick both, find somebody else that ticks those two boxes if you tick those two boxes I'm comfortable with. You may not understand what you're saying, but it feels like the right thing. You've explained it in a way that resonates with me. I think you're gonna get a really good result. But then you might sayie cluy, I've done that. I ve found someone but they're a bit expensive. And when I say expensive, it's more than I can afford. That's the difference. And if it's more than you can afford, ask do you do any concessionary rates? Cause I really can't afford it. And generally and I can't speak for everyone, maybe just ourselves, my sons and I, we offer accessory rates for people who can't afford it, really can't afford it or you know, maybe on hard times they just can't afford it but they really need to help and we will reduce the rate. The other thing you can do, you can ask to pay it forward. Is there something I can do for you in return? You know, do that like for like. And sometimes you find that you have skills that that person would want, maybe just be muscle skills. But hey, you've really got to ask because I really want you to get that therapy. And by the way, what I'm talking about now will also help and it will not hinder your therapy because this is all looking to assist you to make those change or make those changes and as I say, loosen that model of the world. So when you do get into that therapy, boom, it happens even better, even quicker. But the thing is, is that it if I just say oh, we just stop here? No, of course not. It wouldn't be personal development unplugged and all the stuff that we do now, we've talked about therapies, I go do that, go and have a good look and if you're having any issues, send me an email and I'll try to guide you to the Right type of. Or right type of questions to ask. I'll tell you the email later, but do that. But the thing is this anxiety. Let's go there now. Anxiety and the loneliness. Let's get a little bit deeper. I said we're gonna dive deeper on it. And I want you to be able to, to do some more work on yourself. Not just those little cognitive, consciously incremental behavior changes, but let's get a little bit deeper, right? Because I, know it doesn't feel good to it. And if things don't feel good, it means it's not working. And when I say it's not working, it means your unconscious mind, whatever it's trying to do for you, and it's doing something positive for you, always trying to, but it's just using inappropriate behaviors and emotions and things like that now because it's making you feel maybe, I don't know, that anxiety is causing you to feel overwhelmed. Maybe there's some sadness, some grief. Maybe you're just getting really unconfident now. You know, you get that, uh, impostor syndrome You know, you get that, impostor syndrome. Or you get I'm stuck in the house or my m place and I don't want to go out anymore. Or maybe things like ocd, you get different behaviors suddenly coming up. They're all little different effects that you can get. But the real thing to do is, yes, you've got all those. And they're all labels and they're all effects. And the thing is, they are all effects of this inextricable link. I love saying that word, inextricable link between loneliness and the anxiety that's just feeding off each other. And we're not go going to deal with the overall. We're not going deal with the sadness. We're not gonna deal with the grief. We're not going to deal with the unconfidence, and impostor syndromes in isolation. Cause as I say, they're purely effects. And you don't deal with the effects we deal with the root cause. Because when we deal with that, we get empowered and things have to just let go. They just have to go disappear. Cloughie: What does anxiety and loneliness do for you in the positive Here's the question. What is this anxiety, loneliness doing for you? What is it trying to do for you in the positive? That's what we want to find out. What is, we call it the positive intention. Now, you would probably say when I'm feeling overwhelmed, when I'm feeling sad, when I'm grieving, when I feel unfident and all that other stuff, I find it very difficult, Cloughie to say, well, there's something positive here. But I assure you there is. Come with me. Because I know that it's protecting you and'protecting you from what? And that's what we want to find out because this is all to do with protection. So how do you find out? How do you find out? Well, we're going to ask questions. That's the thing. We're going toa look into that feeling, the emotions and the beliefs that are. That are there supporting this and notice what is this loneliness protecting you from what now? And also in the beginning, if you could go back a little bit in your lifetime, go back into the past and just instead of going into any traumatic events, just notice what are the type of things, what type of context is this loneliness and anxiety protect you from? And I'm going to give you a couple of example, examples. I'll say that clearly. I'll give you a couple. I say, I say it clearly. And I didn't. What are these? O here we go. I'll give you a couple of examples. Well done, Cluy. You got it out. Or maybe things at the beginning was just not looking silly in front of people, not doing things what you were considered to be right or they might think as being right, good enough. Maybe it's protecting you or for embarrassment keeping you away from the spotlight. A lot of people sometimes get to. To feel invisible, seeing that quite a number of times with my clients, they just feel invisible and they don't like that feeling and that makes them feel lonely, that gives them anxiety. But it's trying to do something for you. You see, you don't want to look silly. That would be not nice. You don't want to appear not to be able to do things right or good enough. You don't want to put yourself into positions where you'd feel embarrassed, keep you away from the spotlight. All of those are wonderful positive, wonderful positive intention to protect you from all those type of emotions. But the thing is, it doesn't feel good, does it, when you're like that? Because normally what happens is when you're. Or there tends to be a direct conflict, they're the complete reverse. My words today, the complete reverse. The complete opposite. Because it's your unconscious mind is trying to stop you looking silly, not doing things right. And you don't. But the thing is when you do that, you feel silly. You feel that you can't do it right. You feel embarrassed. It hurts to be away from the spotlight because you'd like not necessarily to be in the spotlight, but you don't want to be away from the spotlight either. And the thing is, it's acknowledging that your unconscious mind is trying to do something for you, not pushing it away. Because when you push things away, they generally push back harder. The more you push and the more you think about the negative things, the how much you don't want it tends to come back even stronger. Because what you think about most of the time is what you get whether you like it or not. And if you're thinking about this anxiety, this loneliness, guess what? You get more of it because you find more of it. Now the thing is, the real philosophy of this, type of thing, I guess, is to say, well, acknowledge your unconscious mind for doing something so, positive for you for such a long time. But if you were to learn from it, learn from the emotions, learn from the very first time, maybe learn from the complete conflict that's going on now and change it. Because you still want to be protected, don you, you want to be protected from embarrassment, you want to be protected from not being good enough, looking silly, not doing it right. But also you want to feel empowered and comfortable. And when you don't feel empowered and comfortable, it means your unconscious mind is now using inappropriate behaviors and beliefs. That's all. And if you were have changed that, wouldn't it be nice if you knew, without doubt, and you believed without doubt that whatever you did, you wouldn't look silly, you wouldn't look like you couldn't do, it right. You wouldn't be embarrassed and you could choose to be not necessari're in the spotlight, but you wouldn't be hiding. That, would d be brilliant, wouldn't it? And it's really a matter of now just educating your unconscious mind that is no longer working. Because you see, way back then in the past, when your unconscious mind created, chose to use these behavurss, emotions and beliefs, you were little, I don't know how little, how young. But whatever happens, you had very little wisdom. You had very little experience in the world. So what your unconscious mind could choose to use, as in skills, beliefs and emotions were very few and far between. You know that now you have a massive chunk of experience, a massive chunk of wisdom and knowledge that you didn't have then. So one of the questions we could ask is what was our missing back then? What didn't I know back then that I know now? What emotions, have I got now? Positive emotions that would help me be the way I want to be that I didn't have back then. What skills do I have now that I didn't have back then? And you have a myriad of all of them. now, what you could do ca. Because you might say to cluy, yeah, that makes a lot of sense. But I don't know what they are. Well, there's a number of ways we can find out. One of them is to do a thing called my qualities. It's a little process that I brought out a long time ago when I was in my little darkest times and I had to find out what my qualities were for being alive. And you just write down like a big mind map in the middle of circle saying, my qualities or the qualities of Paol not for you. You put your own name down and you draw lines away from that circle, and you just write down any quality that you've ever, ever, ever, ever had. So there is a longer podcast on this. I can't remember the number for the life of me, but you could search it. But there's also a hypnosis track in my complimentary 65 plus free hypnosis, processes. Find that one, and you can play with that to find the qualities that you have and then say to your unconscious mind, look, these are the qualities I have now. These are all the things I've learned. And they don't have been in any particular context. They're in every context. And these are what we're not using. What would it be like if we use them in place of the others? The way I'm working now, now you say, well, I understand that. Cloughie again, I'm getting there a little bit. So then I'd say, well, okay, well, you've got an idea. The qualities you have. You might even just imagine a younger you in front of you You might even just imagine a younger you in front of you. And this is a weird thing, but it's a lovely... /episode/index/show/personaldevelomentunplugged/id/34577965

FMQ 478 Let's Push Negative Emotions Away - No! 01/15/2025

FMQ 478 Let's Push Negative Emotions Away - No! Let's Push Negative Emotions Away - No! Ever had a sad feeling for no reason? or simply down? or even a feeling that just doesn't feel good and you don't know why? Yeah, Me too. And the first thing we try to do is push it away and it doesn't and usually gets a little more stronger, more intense. Why is that? And What can we do to make it disappear? Follow me by pressing play and I'll share with you my thoughts and ways to help and counterintuitively (which seems t0 always work) it's NOT by pushing it away, down or in any other direction. :O) Please share so others may learn as well as you do Shine Brightly 🌟 Paul Hey there! I’d love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at . Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review . Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit . Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to . Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure. Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on , Castbox, , YouTube, or on our . Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨ Music Credits Music by Wataboi, DreamHeaven, ccjmusic, and others from . Personal development [self improvement] [self development] [NLP] [Hypnosis] /episode/index/show/personaldevelomentunplugged/id/34507580

#426 The Cycle Of Anxiety And Loneliness And How To Break It 01/11/2025

#426 The Cycle Of Anxiety And Loneliness And How To Break It The Cycle Of Anxiety And Loneliness and How To Break It Breaking Free from Anxiety and Loneliness Simple Steps to Reconnect and Feel Whole Again Have you ever felt like anxiety and loneliness are teaming up against you? Like one just makes the other worse, and you're stuck in this cycle? Don’t worry—you’re not alone. In this episode, we’re unpacking how these two sneaky emotions work together and, more importantly, how you can break the cycle. Think of this as a friendly chat with practical tips to help you reconnect with the world around you. We’ll look at easy, doable steps to bring a bit more connection and calm into your life. It’s not about overhauling everything at once; it’s about small steps that make a big difference. Here’s what we’ll dive into: The Anxiety-Loneliness Loop: Why these feelings are so closely tied and how they can spiral out of control if you’re not careful. Simple Wins: Easy ways to start reconnecting—like sending a text, smiling at someone, or chatting with your barista. Finding Your People: How doing things you love can naturally bring you closer to others. The Magic of Intention: How a little intention and a bit of action can open the door to meaningful change. This isn’t just talk—this episode is packed with practical stuff you can try today. Whether you’re feeling a little off or stuck in a tough spot, these steps can help you find your way back to connection, calm, and maybe even a little joy. The first step? Just listen in. Sometimes, that’s all it takes to get things moving in the right direction. Oh, and if you know someone who could use this right now, feel free to share—it might just be the nudge they need. Take care, shine brightly, and I’ll see you on the other side. Warm wishes, Paul Shine Brightly 🌟 Paul Hey there! I’d love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at . Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review . Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit . Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to . Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure. Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on , Castbox, , YouTube, or on our . Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨ Music Credits Music by Wataboi, DreamHeaven, ccjmusic, and others from . And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism Hey there, you. How you doing? Ye, You. You were the old earpuds on. This episode focuses on the cycle of anxiety and loneliness Welcome to another episode of the Personal Development Unplug podcast. And today we're going to cut through even more fluff, try to get down to the nitty gritty of how things work. And it's all about this time, the cycle of anxiety and loneliness. So what we're going to look at, we're going to look at, I guess, how loneliness and anxiety, well, they just link together. One comes with the other, the other one comes with the other. And not only do they come with each other, they're linked, but they feed off each other. And, it's a cycle that can just, well, spin out of control sometimes. So I'm gonna look at all of that, plus some steps change. Because I just want you to know that everything is changeable. So if you're anxious and you're lonely together, we can find new ways. And this episode will be a little bit more general, giveiving you some, I'd call it like cognitive steps to change. And then on another episode, we can dive deeper if there's more emotional, root causes behind loneliness and that anxiety. Okay, so let's have a think. The more anxious I get, the more isolated and lonely I feel This vicious cycle, and what do I mean by vicious cycle? You see, I don't know about you, but when I get a little bit anxious now, I get that feeling, that feeling. Sometimes maybe my gut, it doesn't feel really good. You know, I, tend to feel very much alone, very much isolated. And it's. I don't know, it's like if it was with you. But I don't want to reach out for people. I don't. And that's when that loneliness sweeps in as well. And that feeds your anxiety and they just keep going on together. One feeds off the other, doesn't that. The more anxious I get, the more isolated and lonely I feel. I don't want to reach out. And then I even start to question my worth. No, what about me and, what about those relationships I. I thought I hadn and I haven't got because I'm just by myself, and that makes me boring, anxious. And you see, it's as if that anxiety is feeding off the loneliness, and the loneliness is only magnifying the anxiety. For, Fuck's sake. One's bad enough, isn't it? Anxiety, at a level is overwhelming andeed deliberate. I can't even say the word, but it stops you doing stuff. And now it's linked with this, loneliness of being unconnected, disconnected. Oh, blimey. So what's the question? What's the question we should ask ourselves? Well, how do we break the bloody cycle? How do we break that cycle? And I think we need to approach it in this particular episode in two parts. And the first one is looking at that anxiety, that feeling inside, which is in some ways turning you into a state of isolation, your isolated state. And it's as if your anxiety grows louder, doesn't it? It starts to just intensify itself. And before we get too isolated, there's such an easy step to make and all we have to do, it'a very, very small step because you know me, we don't want to do the big steps. Because if you try a big step, what happens? I'll tell you, the little metaphor I use is if you're trying to cross a stream, you're on one side and you're in this anxious state or any emotional state and you want to change, you want to jump to the other side of the stream. Well, if it's too bloody big or you find some stepping stones and they're too far apart, what happens? We try to jump and we get fucking wet. And all the. Everything which we're trying to miss out on. But if we can just find small steps that allow us to cross that stream. And you find as you do one small step and the next step might be a little bit bigger, but you're more confident, you're more confident in yourself, you're more comfortable in yourself. And you can take that little bit, little bit bigger step. Not huge, just a little bit bigger. And then you get more confident in that and you can, you build off it, you get more motivated, you can. Well, you just connect with all your energy, your motivation. And then the next one and the next one and the next one, it gets bigger and bigger and then we're on the other side. So we need to. Going back to this, stopping the doubts, the doubts of this isolation Going back to this, getting into and, stopping the doubts, the doubts of this isolation, this disconnection. A small step. And it could be as simple as texting somebody. And, not a needy text. O well, I'm anxious and things like that. No, no, no, no, no. Just a little text that you'd like to hear. Something I'LIKE how you doing, mate? Thinking about you, that's all. Just wondered how you're getting on and that's just opening the door, opening the door. and in some ways, as you do this, you'll find that your unconscious mind begins to realize that you're actually not alone. And you're building a bridge out of this anxiety and the doubts of disconnection or the doubts of connection. Simple little things like, a little text. Doesn't even have to be a phone call because maybe that's a step too big, just a small step. And as you do that, you may get into a conversation and suddenly your unconscious mind goes, actually, yeah, we have got connections. And the anxiety around this particular issue begins to subside. Yes, I know there could be deeper issues around anxiety and disconnection. And we'll go into those, like root causes and how to deal with that with real specific processes. Call it at an emotional level, psychological level. But now we're doing the cognitive steps you can take. As soon as you feel that feeling of anxiety around disconnection, being alone, does that all make sense? Does to me. And it's doable, isn't it? And that's the whole point about this episode. I want to find doable things that you could do right now. You know, we don't have to spend hours thinking about, it writing it down you can do. We're gonna find better than quicker ways than that, by the way. But these are things that you can do yourself right now, as soon as it comes. Cause you're going to break that bloody cycle. Remember, it's called a pattern interrupt. And it's just showing your unconscious mind, hey, not this, but this. And if you keep doing that every time it happens, not this, but this, it will surely just disconnect and, let you, and allow you to connect. Loneliness is not absence of people, it's lack of connection Okay, now what's the other side of this? But it's that bloody loneliness, isn't it? Let's have a little look at loneliness. And now some people would think loneliness is the absence of people, and it's bloody not, is it? Because if you really feel lonely, have you ever felt lonely? I know I have. And I'm a little bit of an introvert. And I can. I'm happy in my own space, in a crowd, but I've also been in a crowd and felt very lonely. So it's not the absence of people. Because I know that sometimes with the absence of people, I can really enjoy myself because I do know I'm connected with other people. So I've got that in my unconscious mind and my conscious mind. I know if I wanted to, I can connect. But at this moment, I choose not to. So it's not loneliness, not Isolation, it's just me being with me. But real loneliness is, as they say, not the absence of people, but it's that lack of. And the absence of connection. And it's a trait of human beings. We need like a community, we need to be able to connect and it's one of the things that keep you healthy. Yes, you've got to keep fit. Yes, you've got to eat right. Yes, you've got to get your brain going. But you also need connection with community. They're the three pillars. So if you start to notice a little bit of loneliness and sometimes we feel that by it's hard to find those connections and guess what, there's that bloody anxiety then start to build in. You see that inextricably. And I got that word, that's brilliant. I didn't think I was going to get it out of my mouth. But they're inextricably. I see. I knew I'd fall over. They're linked, aren't they? And they really are. So again, we're talking about feeling that it's harder to connect with people, harder to make those connections. That's where loneliness and then that link inextricably want to say it again. Once you start seeking connection, anxiety will fall and you're showing that you are connected So what can you do? What can you do to seek connection? Because again, once you start seeking connection, the anxiety will fall and you're showing that you are connected. You're building bridges out of this, you're breaking the cycle patterningrupts. And if we do it right, the early stages, and this is what we're really talking about in this particular episode, the early stages, we're creating new ways, not this, but that. So how we'got toa do the house, how can we do that? How can we seek connection? And again, no big jumps, no big jumps to being solely vulnerable and going to find someone and talk and you've never spoken to before and you're going toa layer out your whole life and no, no, no, no, no, that's both vulnerable but also bloody needy. And people don't like needy people, they don't need them. But things like now, again, think of small steps, but those steps get a little bit bigger with each step you take. Because like that stream, you get more confident, you get more comfortable. And that's what it's all about, being comfortable in yourself. Because then you're choosing, choosing either not to be around people or choosing to be with people because you're connected and you understand that connection. So what could you do? What could you do? Well, go to a coffee Shop, buy, drink coffee, pool. Well, drink something else, cup of tea, do something, a cold, whatever, but you can. So go and sit in a coffee shop for a little while, maybe read a book, do some work, whatever it is, to get you into a coffee shop and just say a few words to that barista like, thanks so much, this really is a lovely cup of coffee. how's your day? Thanks for this. How's your day? And mean it, don't fob it, don't pretend, because it is. They're doing you a lovely service. They made you a lovely cup of coffee. Thank you so much. Oh, I love that. I love that, that design you did with the milk. I wish I could do that. That's a first little step or maybe even simpler than that. If you see someone as you're walking by, you just smile. You've seen it before, people have done it to you, they smile. And that's bloody infectious, isn't it? Because you can't help but smile back, you know, make sure they're not weird, you know what I mean? You see someone who just walking by and you just smile, hi there, walk past. Especially if they're in your own community, you know, you see somebody a few times and you haven't spoken so you know they're okay. You just walk past, go smile and say, hi there, how's your day? And that's it, that little bit of connection. Cause each one of these will get a little bit deeper, a little bit bigger. And the thing is even like just saying thanks with a smile and smiling at people and asking them, hey, good to see you walking on. They both just feel good if it does nothing at all. They just feel good for yourself. But they also give, I know they give a good feeling to those people who receive that. And if you're going to ask that question, if you're going to ask, say that if you do ask a question of somebody you know, how's your weekend go? Maybe it's a colleague at work, maybe it's just someone you're next door, you do know them like a neighbour, someone in your community, you might just say, how was your weekend? How did it go? Because you're not asking m them, why are they all right, you're asking an open ended question, how'did your weekend go? And listen. Because if you really listen, you are doing them the ultimate service of paying attention to them. And everyone likes to have attention paid to them. And it's just a little step. You don't have to go into in depth of everything about them. Just that's a start. And we have to start small and then get incrementally bigger. I am using such long words here now. You could then as you get incremental bigger, incre. See, I fell over again incrementally bigger. You might want to say volunteer for something so you can go in and you can go out or maybe and I love this one. As these steps get bigger, you might think of well, I love cooking. I'm going to take a cookery class. Or I love learning a language. So I'm going to take a language class. Or I love drawing art. I'm going to take an art class. I love reading. I'mn to join a reading group because one thing you'll find is people in there. If you love doing these type of things and you d like to learn to do them better, they're lovely people because they have the same interest as you. And at worst if you would say you love cooking and you wanted to go to a cookery class, at worst, if you don't find connection there just by chance and you will you come out with more skills of the things you want to do anyway and they'll lead you to be more interesting and interested. It just grows that way and you're breaking the cycle. And these are lovely things to do. Absolutely lovely things to do. So let's put it all together. Haven't made myself clear, but I want to summarizsee a little bit, put it all together. If you begin to feel anxiety hitting you a little bit, just building up a little bit, step in straight away, break the habit because you know it'snna feed off something else or start something else. There's that inextricable link, you know, there'small tips like a text to somebody. How you doing my man? How you doing girl? Hey. And just remember loneliness can creep in again fin small steps to connect. You know, that smile, that little thank you and you can do it anywhere in any shop. But when you sit in a say I love coffee shops because there's an atmosphere as well. And it's an atmosphere if you want to do you can leave straight away oruse ah, you're alwaysnna be safe. And I'm going toa tell you this now what I haven't said this will feel awkward. It will, it will feel really awkward. And that's a given becausee things like this always feel awkward becausee we think we're going to do things unnaturally but it's actually Natural because you'll be yourself, but because, it feels a little bit awkward. That's m why we're only doing little steps. And when you start making those little steps, and as I say, you start showing your unconscious mind that you're not isolated. And you start showing your unconscious mind that you do have connections. Just in those small, small steps. You start getting those synaptic gaps firing and wiring together. And now you'll notice I haven't gotne into. Well, let's start visualizing yourself doing this and that. Because this isn't the episode for that. This is to get you into a mindset, as it were. Because I'm speaking to you and your unconscious mind, the both of every one of you, of how we can start. Yeah, there might be things going on at a deeper level. And, we will approach those. With intention, anything can be changed, Cloghie says We've got processes that will just smash them out of the way, out of the water. But I want you to know these are the things that you can start to do right now. And the thing about this is, this is like my final thought, I guess. This is all about intention. Because with intention, anything can be changed. And your unconscious mind has a positive intention to protect you. And it's doing this anxiety, loneliness thing in a way of protecting you. But you see, because it doesn't feel good, we now know that it's now no longer working. We have this blooming thing just coming together. And, because it's not working, we can change. And how do we know it's not working? Because the feelings aren't good. You know, anxiety is there to get you to do something. Loneliness is there to, in some ways to remind you of connection. But it's doing the exact opposite at the moment. So you've got this conflict going on. It's a direct conflict. And, we're just, just educating your unconscious mind that it can change. And you've got that wonderful intention to keep you this way. We just want to say, well, what you're doing for me is now no longer appropriate. It was appropriate back then, way back then. But now it's longer, no longer appropriate anymore. Let's find a better way. And to do that. How'd you find a better way? You stay curious, you ask wonderful questions. You know, how can I find connection? How can I connect with somebody? How can I go and smile at somebody? How can I build bridges? What is the smaller step I can take that will allow me to begin to feel more comfortable? And you see, when... /episode/index/show/personaldevelomentunplugged/id/34551910

FMQ 477 A Simple Way to Find Your Purpose 01/08/2025

#425 Anxiety - Friend Or Foe 01/04/2025

#425 Anxiety - Friend Or Foe Anxiety - Friend Or Foe Turning Anxiety Into Your Superpower :O) Hello, my friend! Welcome back to the Personal Development Unplugged Podcast, where we strip away the fluff and get real about the things that matter most. Today, we’re tackling something we’ve all felt—anxiety. But here’s the twist: we’re not here to fight it. We’re here to flip it. Now, you might think of anxiety as this annoying, persistent foe, always getting in the way of your calm. But what if we’ve been looking at it all wrong? What if anxiety could actually be an ally—a messenger, even a bit of a guide? Stick with me, and I’ll show you how to stop running from anxiety and start working with it. Here’s the thing: anxiety’s been part of the human experience for thousands of years. Back in caveman times, it helped us stay alive. Today? It’s still trying to protect us, even if it sometimes comes off like an overzealous bodyguard who jumps at shadows. But what if you could take that energy and use it to fuel something amazing? We’ll talk about how to spot when anxiety’s being helpful versus when it’s just getting in your way. And I’ll share practical tools—simple techniques—to calm that overbearing voice and turn its energy into curiosity, focus, or even excitement. Whether it’s work stress, social nerves, or just that daily hum of unease, I’m going to help you see anxiety for what it really is: a signal. A signal from your unconscious mind that something needs attention. Once we know that, we can redirect it—turn it into a stepping stone for growth, confidence, and momentum. So let’s unplug from the chaos, tune into your true potential, and work together to transform anxiety into a superpower that helps you create the life you want. Let’s get started. Subscribe - Press play - and share https://personaldevelopmentunplugged.com/425-anxiety-friend-or-foe/ Shine Brightly 🌟 Paul Hey there! I’d love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at . Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review . Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit . Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to . Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure. Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on , Castbox, , YouTube, or on our . Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨ Music Credits Music by Wataboi, DreamHeaven, ccjmusic, and others from . And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism Hey, welcome to the Personal Development Unplug podcast. It's maybe a shortcut to making change, breaking through and living the fullest life you've ever got and ever one. I'm Paul Paul Clough and today we're diving, we, you and I, into a topic that touches us all. Yeah, I think it touches us all at some point in our life and that's anxiety. And the question is, is it a friend or is it a foe? So who knows? Well, I do, because what I want to explore is, well, what anxiety really is and why bloody exists in our life. I want to determine, see if anxiety is actually helping you. Is it helping you or is it bloody just hindering you? Or can we use it? Oh, that's a different one. And over a course of time, a little bit in this podcast episode and over many others, I'm going toa give you all the tools you need to look at anxiety and change it from a foe to a friend and manage it, deal with it and just make our life, that much difference. Is anxiety hurting us or helping us? Let's think about it So what is bloody anxiety? What is it and why does it exist? Now, you may have heard this before, but a long, long time ago, generations of generations of generations ago we were cavemen. And if you heard a rustling in a bush, you'd get anxious, you'd be aware, fight, flight or freeze. And you see that little bit of anxiety to turn on fight, flight and freeze protected you or it protected your ancestors back then. And if they didn't have it, you wouldn't be bloody listening to me now, would you? So it's there, or it was there is there to protect us against potential threats. But let's come into today, are you go going toa jump at rustling a leaf? Well, maybe late at night you would, you'd still have that suddenly, oh, what's that protect you? But generally anxiety is turned on by other things, isn't it? They're more psychological. There we could term my guess as a threat, couldn't we? You know, there's a deadline. We have to get something done by a deadline. There's social pressures, peer pressures. Life just keeps bloody buzzing all around us. The noise is intense and if we listen to a lot of that noise, it can trigger off that anxiety. And the thing is now when it happens like that, you might even think, well, that anxiety is being a bit of a bully because it's pushing and fighting us and things like that. But the thing is, I want to explain to you that it's not a body, sometimes it's being inappropriate, but it's really trying to protect you. It is not hurting you. It cannot, hurt you. It's how we choose to take that anxiety on. And once we understand this, we can change our approach. Now I know some people will be affected by anxiety, more extreme than others. And I've got ways for that too. But let's just have a little think, let's just have a little thing you, know we've got. Is anxiety hurting us or helping us? You see, it could be helpful. If you've got, say, a presentation to do and you get a little bit of anxiety. well, I've got to practice, I've got to be prepared. It's waking you up because some people procrastinate, some people just let it go. Some people just, oh, I'll leave it, I'll leave it, I've got plenty of time. And then boom, it's too late. And your unconscious mind says, I don't want to do that. I want you to succeed. I want you to be prepared. But then it might go the other way around. It might start giving you those thoughts in your mind that maybe everyone is going to look at me and they're going to be saying I shouldn't be here. That all impostor syndrome. Or maybe they're going, you know, I'm going to a really mess up and give me pictures. My unconscious mind gives me pictures of all the millions of ways that I wouldn't mess up. But if I did, I could and I would, it would be this bad. So sometimes it gets overwhelming, doesn't it? And that's where I say it's like inappropriate. That little wake up call to make sure that you've got all your ducks in a row, your dobino has already stood up ready to just tip the first one and have success come out the other end. Or where you get overwhelmed and you just can't do anything. So we have to think sometimes. Is this anxiety I m feeling helpful or is it now inappropriate? Let's get that, in mind. You know, is it pushing me forward in a nice way or is it, I don't know, holding me back? Maybe, maybe it's holding me back. And that's why we're here at Personal Development Unplugged, because I want you to be able to work with your unconscious mind. I Want you to educate your unconscious mind because if it's not working, it's just not bloody working. It worked a long time ago. Maybe when you were small it really worked, a little bit of anxiety. But you got bigger, you got bigger things to do, more intense things to do. And your unconscious mind worries for you, wants to make sure that you succeed. But unfortunately that's where the conflict comes in because too much fight, flight and freeze. All the emotions going on, all those wonderful bloody pictures you make in your mind of things how, how the worst it could ever be. Well, it s just not working anymore, is it? So what you can do is a little thing you could do because I want you to start to compartmentalize this anxiety. We're going to go into loads and loads of different ways and different or different ways that your anxiety can affect you and how we can deal with it. But just for one, name it. I love the term name it and tame it. Because if you just recognize, acknowledge what you're anxious about, it can give you a better picture. So. And you know what I'm going to say? Yeah, you could do it in your mind. You could say this in your mind I'm feeling anxious because. And then fill in the blank you could do. And as you start thinking, you might forget about the first bit or the, if you come up with one answer or one bit of intuition, it just disappears, doesn't it? All the rest disappears. Write the sucker down. write it down and say, this is what I'm anxious about today. So it could be, for example, I'm anxious about this meeting because I want to make a good impression. Now we've got the positive side of it. What is your intention, not your intention for worrying, but what's your intention for the thing that you want to do that your unconscious mind is giving you that anxiety so you could if you wanted to. How do you want your body to act when you give a presentation Well, you have already. Haven't you thought about the worst case examples that might happen? Or flip it, flip the thing, Think of the outcome that you want. How do you want it to be? How do you want to perform? What type of information do you want to share? If it's this presentation, how do you want your body to act? What is your physiology you want? How do you stand? Now I'm going to mention things like act as if. Because if you know how you want to be, what would happen if you acted that way? Well, if you acted that way, you'd actually be that way. Because it is by the way you acting as you, the way you want to be. And if you saw it in your mind's eye of yourself acting that way and then you just joined yourself, as it were. And we've talked about this in the past about getting rid of anxiety from the friend of mine who told me, just step into that picture, you see as yourself. Just step into that picture. You're seeing yourself being the way you wa. Want to be and just join it. and act as if. Because you've got the skills. I mean, if you haven't got the skills, you need to be worried, learn the bloody skills. But people wouldn't ask you to present or things like that if they didn't want you to. People would't one to meet you if they didn't want to meet you, to join with you, to connect. You have everything you need and more. You just don't know it yet until you do it. From anxiety to confidence, each podcast will focus on confidence or anxiety So what's the best case scenario? how you want it to be, how you want to feel, how you want to feel before, how you want to feel during, and how you want to feel after. Now you know that, you do know that that's what you're worrying about. You're worrying about that you won't feel that way. So, as I say, just flip the script. How do you wanna be? What do you wanna do? Focus on that feeling. See yourself having a successful completion of the thing that you're worried about. Because you'll find it'll be the thing that you were worried about. And your unconscious mind is listening to you now and it will be evaluating. Is this a safer place and a safer way to be than the old worst case scenario and scaring the shit out you. Now, for me and you and your conscious mind, it's a no brainer, isn't it? That's the one to choose, the one where I'm feeling good, I'm feeling comfortable, I'm feeling safe. And that's the prime directive of the unconscious mind, to keep your bloody safe and healthy. Anxiety is not healthy. You know, if left untapped, untapped, uncorrected, uneducated, not changed, it can just spiral out of control and we don't want that and there's no need for it. And by the way, if it has spirall out of control, get you one to one help, go deal with it now. But I'll talk to you in so many different ways, over the next weeks and months, because that's what this is all about in this podcast. From anxiety to confidence. So each episode Will either be on confidence or anxiety. But they come together, don't they? Hand in hand. So if you think about it now, I mean, even just for a moment, I know we've talked about this, or I've talked about it for so much. Just before you get this anxiety, you get these pictures in your mind. You know, your heart starts going, you know you're breathing. And the pictures in your mind just. Well, they're just not the good ones, are they? Just stop for a moment. Stop, pause, push those pitchures out of the way, move them to the side, make them smaller, further away, just for a moment. And breathe. Ah. just breathe just for a moment. And then decide. We've talked about deciding pain or pleasure. Decide on the pleasure. Decide how you want to be, understand what you're being anxious about, and then decide how you would best be in place of that. That. That, anxiety couldn't exist if you felt this way. It's a wonderful thing if it can't exist by feeling this way. This is the way to feel. See it in your mind's eye right about it. Just feel it. And, it's that feeling that really connects with your unconscious mind. And, it's that breathing allows you to just be grounded maybe. I mean, there's lovely breathing techniques if you really want a breathing technique. There's lovely square, I think, box breathing and things like that. Breathing for four, hold for four, out for four, hold for four. Just do that for a few times. Maybe you make that exhalation a, little bit longer, just a couple of counts longer. And, do that for two, three, four rounds. I'll just set you on your way. It is not the solution, but it's enough to break the pattern, interrupt the pattern of that anxiety. And once you interrupt that pattern and you start to look at the ways you want to be, think about the ways you want to be, see the ways you want to be and feel it. You're going to be that one step nearer, you see, Then you'll realize anxiety is simply purely a signal. And it's not the sentence that you thought it was. It's just a signal. And you see if. And, it doesn't matter how loud that signal is, how intense that signal is. Just doing what I've said, we'll break that pat. So listen to it, because it has. If you think about all that energy, all the energy that you use in worrying, being anxious, if you could harness that and change it to excitement. Because I'TELL you one thing, if you think of A time when you. Well, think of the time when you were anxious. Where's that feeling? It's generally in your stomach, isn't it? Generally in your stomach, somewhere in your gut. And then think of a time when you were really excited, you enjoying yourself and really excited about something. Do you know what that notice where that feeling is? It's not that different, is it? Not that too different a place. So what would happen if you flip it? Just move that feeling as you breathe into that place of excitement and curiosity and then you get. Be excited about thinking of how you want to be, get curious of how you could be the way you want to be. What would it feel like? What would you see? What would you say? How would you breathe? What would your physiology be like? And I'm repeating myself, but repetition is a mother of skill. And the thing is, sometimes the first bit didn't go in, the second bit didn't go in and all of a sudden, oh, I get it now. So that's what I'm doing. I'm just repeating myself just to make sure that I understand what I'm talking about or anything. Please do share this episode. It makes more people aware of this podcast So there you go, anxiety. It could be your friend. Well, it is your friend in a way that it's communication from your best friend, your unconscious mind. So just be aware, have some understanding, have some acknowledgement of your best friend trying to do things and then you can take the appropriate action to redirect your best friend into how you want to be works. It really does work. And you know that if you need some help, there's loads of hypnosis tracks I've got here for you. They're completely complimentary, they're downloadable. If you go to poolclfonline.com podcast you can get them there. 60, 65, nearly 70. And they're all downloadable. So you can find the one that really just maybe helps. This is s a great one. I have to say this now there's a great one. I'm going to rere record it, I know I am. And it's the second episode and it's just called being comfortable, but it just takes away panic and it educates your unconscious mind how you can be different. And if you want, just as another thing you could just briefly do is just sometimes think of different times in your life where you've dealt with similar things easily and effortlessly. Get your countere examples because your unconscious mind was with you then because you see, I say that again. I lifted. I used to have a lisp when I was younger, by the way. We'll get this out. Notice that your anxiety is a friend. It's being created by your best friend. And once you're aware of it, you can do whatever you want because you can. You've got that signal and you can use the power to respond differently. I really hope you like this episode and I would if you have and you know of anybody else who would like to share this experience of knowing that anxiety is not a prison sentence, it's not a foe, it's something that we just need to adapt into a better way. Please do share this episode. If you would. Please share to as many people as you can. Because you know what? Secretly behind the surface, anxiety touches us all, doesnn't it? So if you would do that and then just click on that subscribe, I'll say that one clearly. Click on that subscribe button if you would, because that makes so much difference. You won't believe how much difference it makes. You subscribe. It just gets. It makes more people aware of this podcast. So there you go. Give me feedback. I'd love your feedback because although I'm going to gou, I'm going to do a load more episodes, on anxiety and confidence. If there's areas of anxiety or areas of unconfidence that you'd like me to dive into to, you can direct me, guide me to the things that would help you. Just email me [email protected]. do that. I'll respond. It's totally anonymous. I'm the only bugger here anyway. But you know, if we can guide, if you can guide me to the processes that you want or if there's any feedback you can give me, I would love it. Let's unplug from the noise and plug into your potential So until next time, my friend, let's unplug from the noise and plug into your potential. Did you like that? Hey, it's time to fly. Warning. You are now leaving the unplugged mind of Paul Clough. It's time to fly on your own. Be brave, my friend. Personal development unplugged. Personal development [self improvement] [self development] [NLP] [Hypnosis] /episode/index/show/personaldevelomentunplugged/id/34549900

FMQ 476 Being Fulfilled By Being At Peace With NOT Doing 01/01/2025

FMQ 476 Being Fulfilled By Being At Peace With NOT Doing Being Fulfilled By Being At Peace With NOT Doing In order to do the things we want we have to forego some things we want also. And unless we realize this consciously we get conflicted but not knowing why. The we get saddened on not achieving those things and that affects all the thing we want to achieve. Like so many things in our lives a vicious cycle appears and frustration and any number of emotions arise. And it's because of one little thing We have to be OK on, be at peace with, when choosing to do one thing, others things won't get done. When we acknowledge this consciously - BOOM! we're on our way with no regrets. Come with me and let's muse on this important little subject, especially at this time of year and all will become clear :O) Please share to be kind: And there's a video as always here: Shine Brightly 🌟 Paul Hey there! I’d love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at . Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review . Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit . Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to . Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure. Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on , Castbox, , YouTube, or on our . Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨ Music Credits Music by Wataboi, DreamHeaven, ccjmusic, and others from . Personal development [self improvement] [self development] [NLP] [Hypnosis] /episode/index/show/personaldevelomentunplugged/id/34483610

#424 Pain or Pleasure - You Decide 12/28/2024

#424 Pain or Pleasure - You Decide Pain or Pleasure - You Decide I'd Choose Pleasure Over Pain any day :O) Let’s start with a question: why does your mind so often seem to focus on pain? Those nagging worries, that endless loop of “what ifs”—sound familiar? It’s like your unconscious mind has one job: to keep you safe. But sometimes, it gets a bit too cautious and pulls you into a cycle of discomfort or fear. In this unplugged episode, we explore how to break free from that pattern. What if, instead of pain, you could choose pleasure? Yes, really. By shifting your focus, getting curious, and asking the right questions, you can guide your mind to a place of joy, safety, and comfort—and it’s simpler than you think. Here’s what we’ll uncover together: Understanding Pain’s Purpose: Why your mind brings up pain and how to address it without getting stuck there. Moving Toward Pleasure: Spot those moments of joy and learn how to stretch them out into something truly fulfilling. Curiosity as a State-Changer: Flip the script on pain by using curiosity to shift your perspective and emotional state. The Power of Questions: Discover how the questions you ask yourself can change everything. Working with Your Unconscious Mind: Build a partnership with your inner mind to find solutions that feel good and keep you safe. Pain might be your mind’s default setting, but you don’t have to stay there. You can choose to move toward pleasure—little by little, moment by moment—and transform how you experience life. So, are you ready to ditch the pain and wallow in pleasure for a change? It’s easier than you think, and trust me, it’s so worth it. Enjoy the episode, and if it hits home, please share it with someone who could use a little more pleasure in their life too! Shine Brightly 🌟 Paul Hey there! I’d love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at . Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review . Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit . Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to . Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure. Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on , Castbox, , YouTube, or on our . Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨ Music Credits Music by Wataboi, DreamHeaven, ccjmusic, and others from . And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism Paul Clough says you have the choice to feel pain or pleasure So you have the choice to either feel pain or pleasure. Really? Yeah, you have the choice, you can decide but you have to put effort into it sometimes. Which is a bit of a blow, I know, but hey, to feel more pleasure in your life, wouldn't that be wonderful? Have a listen. This is Personal Development Unplugged, with Paul Clough. In simplicity there is genius. In simplicity there is genius. Pleasure is like feeling safe, right? When you're enjoying it Got a question for you. Have you ever. Will not. Have you ever. Have you noticed you very rarely notice when you're having a good time, in the good time and you ‘re enjoying life, just enjoying it. you may be with friends or you're just doing something which just makes you feel so good. The pictures make in your mind are just natural. You can hear things and you see things and everything is just rosy. The thing is, because you're in the moment m you don't really comment to yourself or this is a really good time. It's like a comment after the event, isn't it? Because when you're just enjoying, you're just enjoying. When you're in pleasure, as it were, you're just enjoying the pleasure. You're not commenting to yourself how pleasurable it is, you're just in it. But then pain, you seem to recognise that straight away, don't we, when we're in pain. And when we're in pain, emotional pain, I guess we notice it, we think about it continuously. We make up bonky bloody questions and we get to those later. But the thing is we make those pictures in our head. We see disaster, we relive it, it's a loop. And the feelings are there and we know and we recognize pain in the moment. We know it's there. It's also like feeling safe. I think not that pleasure, is like feeling safe. No one really notices. I think when they are safe in the world you think of do you know what? I'm doing this thing and this is really safe. I'm safe. Your unconscious mind has kept you safe. It's using all its skills, all your skills, all the resources, positive beliefs, wonderful behaviours, superb emotions and creating a wonderful experience for you caus you're safe. But it doesn't have to be, you know, totally pleasurable. You could be just sitting down reading, but when you're just sitting down reading or having a couple of coffee, you don't think to yourself, you know what? This is a safe place to be to you because you just are, you're in the moment just like that pleasure. But that's the Opposite bit like that pain. When you don't feel safe, boom. You bloody know, don't you? You get that anxiety, you've got fear, you've got, I don't know, the shakes you've got again the pictures in your mind, the worst that could happen. It's a loop. And sometimes that loop goes on for a long time. It goes in and out sometimes because something distracts you. But boom, as soon as you're again by yourself may be or you suddenly think of what you might have to do and then that ah, feeling of anxiety, fear. And you don't feel safe in the world, do you? Again because it's in the present, in the moment. But it's in the moment in a different way. Because it's a negative feeling. It's a negative feeling. And those negative feelings are there for a reason, aren't they? Let's have a little look at the. Why. Why is this happening? Why is that? If that's a sentence. When you're enjoying being you, you're safe, aren't you? And your unconscious mind doesn't have to worry you're not going toa be, be eaten by a saber toothed tiger. Even that was, you know, you haven't got to hunt for food and suddenly get killed. Those days are gone. You can go to this corner shop, you can go to the supermarket, you can go anywhere, take away it's there. You can just enjoy having pleasure and you can be safe in this little old world of ours. And that's a choice by the way. Your unconscious mind can make you feel unsafe by making you curious We're going to talk about choices because you effectively have chosen to feel this good, to do the things that make you feel good, make you feel safe. And safety is obviously it stretches. I guess some people can feel safe doing things where you wouldn't feel safe, but for them it's safety. But the thing is sometimes, sometimes to keep you safe you need maybe a little bit of uncertainty. Like that saber toothed tiger isn't there. But something might come and upset this pleasure. Not quite certain. And to make sure that you are aware of what you can do or might need to do to access the resources to fight flight fear, you fight flight and freeze cluy. Come and get it together. Your unconscious mind can begin to make you feel a little unsafe because when you do that you're a little bit scared. Your unconscious mind scares you to be aware. You see there's a positive intention for all of this. For you to be aware, to keep on your guard. But then sometimes we get to that thing where we start picturing in our mind, I guess, the very worst that could happen. We see it clearly, sometimes even too clearly, more vivid than it should be. It's normally bigger. The pictures in your mind get bigger and bigger to make you aware of what could happen. Smells and the taste. Every sense is buzzing and you get that feeling. And then we ask that bonky question until we get to there. What's the worst that can happen? How bad could it be? Why me? Why is this always those questions, why me? Your unconscious mind goes, well, if that's a question you want to ask, I'll find you in answer. And it goes through all your past and finds random, out of context memories to say, look, there we are, that's why. And it sort of puts them together and you go, yeah, so what's the worst that could happen? And then you start to imagine bigger, brighter, more intense pictures in your mind. That gives you more intense feelings. All as a sense of protection. Does it feel safe? Of course it doesn't. You see, we know physical pain is a warning. It's a warning not to do something to give you protection, to heal. We know that. You know, be wary, this bruise is pain. Therefore don't keep, keep touching it, don't knock it, keep it safe. And this emotional pain is to remind you of the stuff you haven't, dealt with. You know, that sadness, anxiety, guilt, grief. You fill in the blank. And we've talked about this on, the previous podcast, pain and Pleasure. You see, that's great. If you didn't feel so bad. Your unconscious mind protecting you, protecting you in a way to keep you safe by making you feel the most unsafe right now, to make you feel so aware that you can freeze, so aware that you're overwhelmed, have those feelings so intense that you don't know what to do. And that's where the conflict comes in. It's a direct conflict. Your unconscious mind trying to keep you safe by making you feel unsafe. So what we have to do is choose. Yeah, you get to chooses. Told you. You choose pleasure, but you also choose the way you can feel unsafe or choose the way that you can be safe. How do you do that? Well, you choose with your unconscious mind. And one way to do that is to get curious. Because if you're in that state of feeling unsafe, feeling anxiety, feeling panic, feeling fear, then if you're in that state, you're not going to solve the problem because you're in the problem. You can't solve the problem from being inside the problem, you need to get outside the problem. So to get out of that issue, that problem, that feeling change states, how do you do that? Get curious. It's not a big jump. You see, curiosity is not a big jump. I'm not asking you to feel super strong, super confident. It's too big a jump. But if you could just be curious. And what does curious do? Gets you to see things differently, doesn't it? Because you're interested. I'm curious to find out. And you'll see things differently. And when you look at things differently, the things you look at are, different. And when you do that, you feel different because you're exploring. And that's all we're gonna do. And that curiosity will bring a question like, what if? Ask your unconscious mind what would be a better way to make amends So if we give a little bit of thanks before we get into this. So we're curious, but before I'm just thankful for my unconscious mind. You're doing the best you can, but it's not working. I have a little chat with our unconscious mind. Thank you for doing what you're doing, trying to keep me safe. But what you're doing is not working because I don't feel safe at all. In fact, I'm bricking myself. So when you're curious, you'd ask questions like, what if. What if there was a better way, maybe a better way to feel a little bit more confident in myself? Competence. Remember my competence, my skills, I've got. What if there's a better way to feel comfortable? You see, when you're feeling comfortable, that would be if you're suffering from anxiety, what would be a better way to make amends? That would be a lovely question for guilt, wouldn't it? Sometimes you can stress so much that you need to make amends, but that person's gone. But you can make amends by remembering not to do again. What can I learn from what I did so I can make amends? By making a difference in the world. I've learned from that event, and now I'm stronger and better for it. What if there's a better way to remember? Maybe remember. People remember things in a good way, in a way that feels thankful. It's grief, isn't it? What a better way to feel grief than feeling sad. And sad doesn't really express grief, does it? But you know what I mean. But what if you could just remember, Remember the positive things, remember the good things about someone who'maybe past. Isn't that a better way to grieve, to feel comfortable in the way you Remember people, that's the way they would like you you to remember them, wouldn't they? Now you fill in the blank. If there's something else, just think of the question, wouldn't there be a better way to. Because it's really just the way you want to feel. Because if you're feeling a little bit more comfortable or a little way, a little better about making amends, learning a better way to remember, you're asking really positive questions. Now, what I say to people isage of my clients is when you're asking these type of questions, listen with all your senses, because you might think you know the answers, but just listen, be unedited. Do not edit the answers because it might be a little memory comes to mind. Could be a word I say on tip of your tongue or a feeling, and you have to then get more curious, well, what does it mean? What are you trying to tell me? But write it down. You know, I always go on about writing things down you write down just what comes to mind. You know, if you really want to get to it, just go back to when you used to feel a little, a little bit anxious, when you used to feel a little bit of guilt or maybe a little bit of grief, or you fill in the blank and just feel it because you're feeling it anyway. So we're not actually going back into the trauma, but I just want you to feel it a little bit to tell your unconscious mind, this is what I'm working on. What would be a better way to keep me safe from X, Y, Z? And if you come up with an answer, maybe consciously you think, well, do you know what? I'd really like to feel this. I'd like to feel more comfortable. Because when I feeling comfortable, I can deal with things that, are causing me stress or anxiety and actually say to your unconscious one, wouldn't this be a better way to keep me safe? And you know it bloody is. So you're coming up with some solutions all by being curious. What do you think consciously would be a better way to deal with this? As opposed to worrying or being sad or feeling guilty or you fill in the blank. You know what it is. Just think about it. What might be a better way? What could you learn? Maybe what can to learn from this? And ask your unconscious mind, what can you learn from the paths that will allow this to disappear, the learning of which would always be with me, consciously and unconsciously. Now you might be thinking, this is too simple. Yeah, it is simple. Not too simple. It is simple. It takes work. It takes effort, but it's so effective and it's certainly so much better than staying in those negative emotions. You know what positive belief would support me to get through this, to learn. And it would d be things like I'm okay, I've got this, I'm strong enough, I can do this. So that's what I think. Obviously you've got that one to one therapy. If you haven't, if things are getting too much and your anxiety, your fear, your guilt and all that stuff, it's just too much to handle with these questions. But even just thinking about them will help ease, will help ease the pain. And you can then you're choosing, you're choosing to look for a better way. And when you choose to look for a better way, guess what happens? You find a better way. It's like that process. If you're thinking about how bad it could be, what happens is your unconscious mind goes away and finds all the answers to you whether they're right or wrong. It finds answers that sort of fits, fits a hole. The round peg in a square hole sort of fits. You bag it hard enough. But if you're asking questions how you could be different, your unconscious mind will go and find a way to be different. If you look for, ask for a better way, it will go, okay, let's find a better way. What we've got to say Heln this isn't what you're doing for me is great, but it's not. Well it's great that you're doing it for me, but it's not working anymore because I feel the pain and I choose not to feel the pain anymore. And to do that I want to find a better way. What is a better way? And I know I keep banging it on now, but it is so simple and in simplicity we know there is genius. And you'll find a way. But if you don't, you're going to eat Ma am I I say that a bit more clearly. Cly come on. And if you don't and you will by the way but if there's something you need is a little bit extra, you can email me [email protected] do say at the end of every episode I'm always at the end of an email. It be fun to just find new ways to create a better life for everyone. It is fun. And I can become curious and maybe look at my own past and find ways that maybe I have solved those problems or I can then go and think, well, how would I solve them? What would be a better way? Cause sometimes when you're looking, as I say looking in, you see the world differently. And that's where I want you to come. I want you to come out of the pain. Choose to come out of the pain and ask better questions. And by the way, when you're in pleasure, by the way, sometimes just stop for a second and go, do you know what? This is brilliant. Paul Clough: Choose to wallow in pleasure consciously and unconsciously I wonder how I could use these feelings in the future. And have fun, have pleasure, because I choose to have more pleasure in my life. In fact, choose to have more pleasure than you can stand. Choose to wallow in pleasure. Because these are all choices consciously, and unconsciously. But guide with your conscious mind. Your conscious mind is a goal setter. And we often think of goal sett as being goals, as in things that you're striving to do. These are goals that you're striving to feel, to be. And your unconscious mind is the goal getter. So ask good questions. Would it be like to feel that joy that I felt yesterday, today, again? But even better, what would it be like to feel safe and feel comfortable? Because I like feeling comfortable. Because if I'm comfortable, I'm bloody safe. I know that. And when I'm feeling comfortable, I can access all the emotions I ever want. I can just let go and enjoy. So you can ask a question when you wake up in the morning when you've got this thing to do. What would be like to feel so comfortable in when I do X yz and then let it go? Because your unconscious mind will then go and find the answers for you and you'll feel comfortable. It works, by the way. It just works. Hope you enjoyed that. Don't think it's the longest episode, but doesn't matter, does it? I'm sure there's a few golden nuggets there that you can say pick up and run with. So have more pleasure than you can stand and ask wonderful questions by being curious. Enjoy and fly. Warning, you are now leaving the unplugged mind of Paul Clough. It's time to fly on your own. Be brave, my friend. Personal development unplugged. Personal development [self improvement] [self development] [NLP] [Hypnosis] /episode/index/show/personaldevelomentunplugged/id/34427605

Fun For Christmas From Mummsey and Me 12/24/2024

#423 Healing Emotional Scars 12/21/2024

#423 Healing Emotional Scars Healing Emotional Scars Because you can Have you ever found yourself stuck in the echoes of past pain, wondering if you’re truly healing or just coping? In this episode, I’ll unpack the difference between carrying emotional scars and genuinely healing from them. Together, we’ll explore how our unconscious mind—the part of us that’s always working in the background—signals the need for healing and how we can respond. Think of emotional scars like physical ones: they’re reminders of what we’ve been through, but they don’t have to define us. I’ll share personal stories and practical steps I’ve used to move from pain toward genuine healing. You’ll discover how to tell if your emotional wounds are still raw and how to guide yourself through the healing process. Whether it’s through self-reflection, creative self-therapy, or reaching out for professional support, you’ll learn ways to support your journey back to emotional wholeness. This isn’t just for therapists—it’s for anyone ready to face their past and take steps toward a brighter future. Let’s tap into the wisdom of your unconscious mind, learn to listen to its messages, and use them to build a life of growth, self-compassion, and empowerment. So, take a moment, tune in, and let’s explore this path together. Because healing isn’t just possible—it’s inevitable when we take the first step. Please enjoy and share: Shine brightly, Paul Shine Brightly 🌟 Paul Hey there! I’d love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at . Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review . Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit . Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to . Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure. Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on , Castbox, , YouTube, or on our . Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨ Music Credits Music by Wataboi, DreamHeaven, ccjmusic, and others from . And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism Spot the difference and how to heal emotional scars in this podcast Healing emotional scars. What's all this about? Well, I start off with spot the difference and then I'll tell you stuff about healing physically, which is weird. And then we spot the difference and why the difference and how to get help and how to heal emotional scars. Okay, have a listen if that interests you. I'm sure it will See if you can spot the difference between these two statements welcome back to the longer podcast. And this one, well, I want you to spot the difference. See if you can spot what is the difference between these two statements. You know, when I think of that time, it was that shit time, it was black and it did, hurt. Do you know what? I was a mess then. I Want to tell you what that is shortly. Think of this one, see if you can spot the difference. Every time I think of that time, do you know what? It still hurts. Maybe not as much, but I still get those negative feelings. I still see those things and it's like I'm still living some of it again. Did you spot it? Did you spot it? Gonna come back to the difference in a minute because I want. Well, here's the thing, you see, let's get into the biological state. What are you talking about, Cloughie? Look, if you cut yourself, even maybe only a scratch, you don't even think about it, do you? You don't give it a second thought. You might give it a little rub and go, ow, that hurt. But in your mind, you know you're going to heal. So a scratch might stick a little plaster on it. But I do know it's gonna heal. You don't have a second thought. You don't actually think, I guess I'm gonna heal. Cause you just know it. You've got that understanding that you know your body's gonna heal itself. And if it's a deeper cut now, you may have needed help, maybe there was some medication, maybe there's some stitches, maybe even an operation. And those deeper cuts, they tend to leave a scar, don't they? A little physical scar. That to me that scar is a reminder. Reminder how serious. I say that again, A reminder how serious it was. You see, both of those times, your unconscious mind is what I believe anyway, got into its healing mode and healed you. Some people might say, well, it's just a body doing it. But I think your unconscious mind is there to serve you, to Keep you safe and keep you healthy. And it just heals you. So whether it's just a little scratch, whether it sometimes needs a little bit of help, but it still heals, but leaves that little, little scar. But then on the other hand, before the scar happens and maybe before the full healing has taken place, you get a little scab, don't you? And to me, that scab tells you to be gentle, to be careful. Healing is in process. And, you can help because it tells you and it's sometimes a little bit sore, a little bit painful. Tells you to help yourself by being aware, to protect yourself. Don't do nothing silly. Just be careful and, look after yourself while you're healing. That's what I think. So going back to those two statements, did you spot the difference? See, both of them were me. Both of them were me. See, the second one was I'm still feeling it. That was during the middle of ituse. As I think about it then it still hurts. Maybe not as much, but I can still feel it. I can still feel it in my gut. Sometimes I think I'm living it again. And you see, to me that's like the scab. Cause I'm not in that issue anymore. I've got out of it. And we do, by the way, we always get out of those issues. Think back of, the times when you thought, well, darkest at that time, my darkest time, I didn't think I was gonna get out of it, but here I am years later. But that was a scab saying, you're still feeling pain, but this time it's emotional pain. And you're feeling emotional pain from those past events. But it is an event in the past. It's not happening now, but you're still feeling a little bit of it as if it's in the present. Which means healing is still required. Healing is maybe still going on. And at that time, when it was like that, that healing came in the form of me asking questions. And one of the questions was, instead of, why is it always happening to me? How deep can I go? How horrible it feels? Because that was when I was in the bloody thing. And when I got out of that part, I asked my question, well, what the bloody hell can I do to get out of this? What can I do? And something inside me said, you're, bloody therapist Cloughie. Be your own therapist. And I did. I did loads of stuff. And I also narrated my path and narrated. I just recorded what I did. What best advice would I give myself? I initially Narrated it as being my therapist or being a therapist to my best mate. And I got it printed out. It's in the book. And I showed it to this writer who was a client of mine, said, I know I shouldn't do this, but would you just have a little look at it? And they did. They're so kind. And they came back and said, it's so bloody obvious it's you. Why didn't you be brave? Be brave and write it as you? And I did. It took me hours taking, the you to me and all that stuff to make it into to me. But I did, and it felt so good. And I created processes that help other people. Now some of those processes I actually took into trainings to help loads of people. Paul says negative emotions are signals from unconscious mind that you need help So there was good to come out of that. But it was things that I knew that worked then because I'd tried them on myself bit by bit. But I'm a therapist. I've done a lot of trainings. And, that's what I did. I know you might be saying, yeah, Paul, but I'm not a therapist. I'll get to that. I will get to that, I promise you. But that was because I was in it. It was still the scab. I was still roar. And I had to be gentle. I had to be careful. Not careful, but just careful. Be kind careful. I think not expecting too much, but not expecting too little either. But. But let's go back to the first. You know, when I think of that time, that was a shit time. It was black. It did hur. You know, was m. I was a real, real mess. I was a real mess. You know, I used to cry suddenly. Just break down, fall on the floor and cry. That's how bad I was. You sp. The difference there, you see this one was. That was me now, by the way. That is me now. Because it was horrible then. It doesn't affect me anymore because it's in the past. I've dealt with it. I've learned from it. I've learned what I needed to learn. So those emotions, are no longer needed to remind me that I still need to do work. And that's what I think these negative emotions are there. They're really a signal from your unconscious mind saying, I'm waving a flag at you. Do some work. We've still got work to do. Still got toa. Let go. Some maybe limiting beliefs. Let's do some work, find help. It's like a cry for help, I guess, from the inside, saying, you know, you're still there. You're still in it. But this wasn't, this was. It's okay, it's gone. Because it was then back then in the past. And that's what I listen to. when my clients, when I do work with them, they come in and they go o, I feel so bad, Paul. I'm feeling this anxiety and it gives me this type of feeling. I get this pain in my stomach, I can't think. It's right in the present moment they're talking of their problem in the present moment they're in it. And then we do some work and I'm going get that feeling back again. This is at the end by the way. Get that old feeling back again. You run what you said in your stomach, in your gut. And they all said, well, can't at the moment, it's gone. Said you got it pretty easily an hour ago yeah. it's gone now. So we'll just tell, talk about they. Yeah, because I remember it used to be so bad back then. We'd gone back to the past tense. They've moved on still maybe a scar just to remind them. You see that scar to some extent going back to the natural healing is you talking in the past tense to say that's how bad it was. You've learn, you've moved on. Let's see how strong you are now. And if it happens again, something like that, you know you can deal with it because you've got that little scar to remind you. But it's in the past. That scar is saying it was a deep cut back then, but not now. Cloughie suggests you talk about negative times in your past So what I'm going to ask you to do or what I'm suggesting, you just notice how you talk about the negative times in your past and it's not just talk out loud, it's how you think. How do you think about those times in the past? Because when you think about do you go back into them and feel it again? Or when you talk to your friends, you're talking in the present tense as if it's still there. Maybe not as much, but it's still there. can you still feel that feeling? Because I'd know the feeling that I had back then if I was feeling it now. Swore I would really feel it. Even a tinge of it would not be good. But it doesn't affect me anyore at all now. So I'm really grateful for my unconscious mind guiding me to be my own therapists and the stuff I'd learned and what I've done. But I know you're not a therapist, but you might be. You might be. And if you are, well, you might ask inside is that that the thing to do? But if you can really still feel them, feel those negative emotions, if you're living your life with that limiting belief, your unconscious mind is waving that flag. You haven't healed yet. So get some help. Now where would I go to get some help? I went to a therapist to nearly swore again. A really, really good one me. But I'm not asking you to come to me. You could, but you could ask. But the thing is find help. 1, 2, 1 help that is you with a therapist. A therapist who I would suggest would be a master hypnotist. Bloody good hypnotist. But with the skills of a master practitioner ###lp and the skills of a master practitioner of timeline therapy. They could just be practitioners by the way because practitioners are really good master practition just taking it to another level. They're most probably more professional I say more professional in the muches they do it as a profession therefore they're doing it all the time and they're honing their skills. But I did a lot of work when I was a practitioner and I did a lot of good work when I was a practitioner. Master practitioner just did the to down the edges as it were but I was going on for other things. So one to one and you know some way back, some way back I don't know how far this years back I did an episode which says what I think it's lot what to look for in a therapist. So you could google that or look down my if you go on the website personal development unplugged um.com do I think there's a search button there and you can look for that. It's always good. Might do it again sometime or you might think well it's not that bad Cloughie. It's not that bad that it is. I'm still really feeling it as if it is in the present but I'm sort of feeling it. Well you could maybe go on to some some programs. I've got a great program which I say it's great. It's just me saying supreme iner confidence and that's really a bigg up the name. But it's all about taking away the anxiety and coming back to inner confidence. It's really supreme inner confidence. Confidence in yourself. That's a lovely program. And you got discount if you sign up to the hypnosis programs which tells me You've also got hypnosis programs. I've got 6yd and, they're all complimentary. They're free. My son, Joseph Clough, has hundreds, thousands, probably most of those can be sought out free of at a very small price. So you could just go down and choose them and pick the one that you feel most comfortable with, the one that goes. Do you know what? That resonates with me. But set your intention first. Before you listen to any of those programs. Before you listen to any of the hypnosis programs, set your intention. I'm gonna get rid of this. That's my intention. I am gonna get rid of these feelings. I'm gonna learn what I need to learn and move on. And then you press play. Or there's another alternative. You can email me [email protected]. email me. Give me a little bit of the problem. How you feel now and how you want to feel. That's all I want. I don't want the ifs and butts and everything around it. So I'm not a counselr. I just want to know how you're doing, what you're doing now, the negative side. So I feel this. I think this affects me in this way. And then, well, how do inna be? And I wa want to be this, this and this. And I'll come up with a process, or I'll guide you to a hypnosis track, or I'll guide you to a program, or I'll probably do all of those and produce an episode just for you. But it won't be just for you. Cause it'll be for me and it'll be for everyone elseus. We'll all get something from them. So'so many different ways you can find help. But first of all, I think you need to recognize how you're thinking, how you're talking about negative times in the past. Is it a scar or is it a scab that still needs help and healing? So think, about that. Just a thought. Well, it's a big thought, I guess. And you see, the simple thing to remember is it's your unconscious mind telling you there's still just a little bit more to do. And, isn't that kind? Isn't that kind? All you have to do is then listen. You're getting those feelings. And you listen, ask questions. How can I help myself? How can I help you? What do I need to do? How can I change this? So there you go. There's a pause. J: Sharing is good. Can only do you good. I know every episode doesn't always resonate Thereuse I was thinking a minute because what I didn't realise see I might make a few notes. Not a script, but there's a few can tell it's not a script. I tell it and. But I didn't realize when I was talking about this or writing them few notes that this is all about me. It's all about me and how far I'd come. And I guess this is my unconscious mind, my best friend letting me know how far I'd come, how far we'd come and how far we'll let it go. Isn't that kind? And in my nose I just said thank you. And a little smiley face with a kiss because that's what I do with my aunt. Go just mind smiley face with a kiss. And it's your conscience. I say that again because I don't know what happened. Then it's your unconscious mind, your best friend telling you, guiding you, supporting you forever. So do listen, please just listen. If there's things going on, just listen to whatever you get. Sometimes it'll be a memory, sometimes it will be a word on the tip of your tongue. It's not always a conversation. Could be when you're writing in your journal. If you don't journal, suggest having a little go. Maybe we'll talk about that another session, another, another episode. But one of the things I found out about doing this even though I haven't told you what happened, the way it felt and the way it feels now, it doesn't feel now for me makes me understand that sharing is good. Sharing is good. Just to know that we all move on, we can all do this together. So things are good to know. And if you know things that are good, share them. If they aren't taken on board by the people, doesn't matter. It'll go in sometime, always does. I know every episode is a work of art. No I don't. I know every episode doesn't always resonate, not with everyone. But I do know a little bit of RePet say blind mate my words. Repetition is not only the mother of skill but also goes in when you're ready. You suddenly notice those golden nuggets and you pick them up and run with them. Not run off with them, but run with them. As so in that tenuous sort of link. It'be good to share this too. I think if you just share the episode because people don't tell you when they're hurting, they can show you sometimes in their call it non verbal communication, their body language. I don't think it's a body language, but it's a. They're communicating with you. So it's the language of a kind. You know, if they're a little bit distant, maybe they're not their old selves or the old self that you remember, or you see a difference between one and the other. May just want to point out, hey, this might be interesting. It might be. It's only half an hour. Can only do you good. J, if you would. I think it would be kind to share. And I say if you want to email me about anything, please do. I'll come up with something for you. Always have, always will. It's what I'm good at, I think. So please, please get my old grey matter moving for me. It's good for me, too. Okay. Have fun. And if you do trip over that subscribe button, pick it up and give you a price, will you? Paul Clough: It's time to fly on your own All right, my friend, have more fun than you can stand and let's move on, creating the life that we both deserve. Time to fly. Bye now. Warning. You are now leaving the unplugged mind of Paul Clough. It's time to fly on your own. Be brave, my friend. Personal development unplugged. Personal development [self... /episode/index/show/personaldevelomentunplugged/id/34409545

The Audio of the Video within the December Newsletter 12/20/2024

FMQ475 But I Can't Visualize 12/18/2024

#422 A Simple Process To Ovecome Fear and Anxiety 12/14/2024

#422 A Simple Process To Ovecome Fear and Anxiety From Anxiety to Confidence Let’s Make the Shift Together Let’s get real for a minute. Have you ever felt that knot in your stomach at the thought of speaking up in front of a group—even if it’s just a handful of people? You’re not alone. I’ve been there too. I’ve felt that dread, the sweaty palms, the shaky voice. But here’s the good news: it doesn’t have to stay that way. In this episode, I’m going to share my own story—how I went from terrified to totally at ease, speaking to not just a few people but hundreds. And I’ll let you in on a little secret: it didn’t take a complicated process or years of effort. It was a simple, powerful shift. What We’ll Dive Into: The magic of visualization—how imagining your success as if it’s already happening can calm your fear and build real confidence. Fueling confidence with your passion and curiosity—because when you care about what you’re saying, everything changes. Why simplicity is the ultimate tool—you don’t need tricks or hype, just a new way to see yourself. Here’s Your Challenge: There's a process in this episode too You will take a moment—just a few minutes. Close your eyes and picture yourself succeeding. Imagine standing there, calm, collected, and confident. Feel it. Step into that version of you and notice how good it feels. Practice it. Let it sink in. If you know someone who needs a little nudge to find their confidence—share this episode. You never know who might need to hear it. Let’s keep shining brightly, Paul Shine Brightly 🌟 Paul Hey there! I’d love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at . Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review . Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit . Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to . Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure. Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on , Castbox, , YouTube, or on our . Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨ Music Credits Music by Wataboi, DreamHeaven, ccjmusic, and others from . And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism So how did I change from being terrified about speaking to more than two or three people to be anxious to be uncomfortable having my stomach chant, my mind racing, being so so scared anxious to being able to talk in front of more than a hundred hundred of people. A hundred of people and enjoying the process. Speaking metaphors for telling metaphors and doing processes demonstration with people. How did I get from that to that? And guess what? It's really easy and it's simple. Come with me. So we call this personal development unplug podcast from anxiety to confidence. And I thought I'd just give you a little taste of how I used to be and how there's a simple way I was taught to master anxiety and fear and it's mastering it in a way that you let it go. It's no longer needed. You see in the early days of my NLP trainings and I spelled days with a zed because it was Daisy. I was in the days neuro linguistic programming learning wonderful sets of skills and processes to help other people make changes and changes in myself. And the thing is I used to hate giving small talks in those trainings there may be only two or three people there and I had to explain something and I hated the bloody thing asking questions because it was quite a big group, There was about 30 odd people in that particular class and stick your hand up and ask a question because you didn't understand something. I hated it. I was in fact I was pretty terrified. My heart used to be thinking what the hell am I doing here? I'm not meant to be here. What was I thinking about? Because this is frightening and it shouldn't be frightening. I'm trying to learn something and yet I'm frightened. And I'd slink my way to the back and it was pretty easy when there 30 od people you can slink your way to the back. And I'd get smaller and smaller and smaller, slide down into my chair and I would ask myself how could I learn this stuff when I'm so anxious? And it's a sort or positive question isn't it? Because my stomach was churning, my mind was racing, I was hot, I was uncomfortable. It was a nightmare. It was and I say was was a nightmare back then. It was really a nightmare. I'll tell you in a minute how that changed. But the thing is that was way back then, since then, since Then I have amazed myself when I look back now. You see, I started to help people, but then I got into training, training other people, training people to become therapists, training people to become, practitioners and master practitioners of NLP. With my son Joseph, we did NLP trainings, hypnosis, trainees, teaching people to be master hyp, hypnotists, all this stuff. And I was standing in front of maybe 20 people. And then it developed even more because since then I've sat on the end of a stage and I used to hate bloody stages. If it was a six inch stage, I, didn't like it, didn’t like standing up in front of people. But since then I've sat on tall stages, just sat on the edge, got off my chair, which was on the stage, come down and sat on the edge of the stage and told stories, told stories, done demonstrations up on that big stage, just me and one other person, answer questions. Trained all Those practitioners in NLP, timeline therapy, hypnosis to well over 100 people at a time. Now compare that to me not even speaking to one or two people. I could do one, but even then I got a bit flustered. But more than two, three, I was you. That stomach churning and the mind racing heart and uncomfortable. I love it now. I loved every minute, you know, just being able to talk about lovely metaphors about my dog Howie. Howie used to go for walks and the things we learned on those walks and how Howie would talk about various things because he was the best dog in the world by the way. And if you go, I don't know if I think you might be able to search Howie in something like KST box and he might come up because I told a metaphor about, oh, I've recorded a metaphor about that. The metaphor I used to tell on that stage. And the thing is, I enjoyed it because I was me, I was comfortable and people got it and they were comfortable for me. Amazing, isn't it? So what changed? How did I change? Well, one thing, I think it was a prerequisite. It, was I was passionate about learning, learning NLP, learning hypnosis, learning how to help others and myself. It was so important to me. It. I spent time learning my craft, learning my skills, mastering didn't do everything to start off with. I, mastered my skills. I did what I knew and knew what I did, and then I expanded what I knew and then I did what I knew. But it was like my why. I'd found my why without going through all the, the bits and pieces we talk about. Here. Because sometimes we need to do the bits and pieces to find out why. The why. It's important to me, but I just knew it in my heart. What was. This was something I really wanted to do, ended up doing it for. Well, I've ended up doing it. I haven't finished yet. For over 25 years doing this stuff. I mean, if you think about what's the point of doing stuff that's not important to you and learning stuff that's not important to you? But the thing is, here's the thing. You have that thing that. Why that motivation, the passion. That's one thing. You can have a little bit of passion, even only the passion to learn about something. Maybe it's a passion to connect with people. It doesn't have to be the stuff you're learning, like me, could be just a passion to be able to communicate, to, able to connect anything that you're passionate about. It's all you need that little bit of passion. But the thing is, the how is even more simpler than you can expect. It really was. There was no major processes. There was no anybody hypnotizing. Did a lot of hypnosis on myself and with other people. But that wasn't the change. There was no big paradigm shift. No, but it wasn't. It was so simple. So simple. You see, what happened was. And it was back in. Right in the early days of the NLP training, there was a guy there who I got on quite well with. We would sit and have a cup of coffee sometimes and do that. And I was pretty amazed by him because he was, although he wasn't, a, train in NLP, he was actually a practitioner like me, learning the NLP. But he actually did a lot of talking to groups, standing on stages. And he said, as we're talking, said, oh, I really love it, Paul. I really enjoy getting on a stage and talking to people. Oh, it's so good. And me in my little brain going, you're absolutely bloody joking. In fact, I swore a lot more than that, so that would petrify me. And I told him about being terrified of talking to two or three people. I said, I'm comfortable with you because I like you and, you know, you seem friendly. But more than that, I just. It really does get me. I want to change. I do want to change because I want to be able to participate in these training even more. I just said, how did you do it? How did you do it? You know, what was that complicated thing you did? Do you have to get into this, this speaker state where you come out and you're speaking this way and you have to get pumped up and you have to do this. And he go, what are you talking about, Cloughie? Because people call me Cloughie those days as well. Are you talking about Clovy? No, no's not a speaking state. It's not a pumped up state. Because that's not you certainly's not me. I don't speak pumped up. And if I do get excited, it's because I'm passionate and I'm excited, not because I make myself excited, because I'm just comfortable in expressing the way I want. So I said, how'the bloody hell do did you do it if you didn't get. Don't get pumped up. And you weren't taught it? She said, well, it's so simple. And I said before, in simplicity there's genius. He said, it's so simple. I'm on stage waiting to talk. Maybe I'm in the sidelines or maybe'm there's three or four people, we're all going to talk on the stage and we're all sitting on the stage and that all of a sudden I got those, that anxiety again, thinking, because I've done it before where I've had to introduce myself and I'm fifth out of 15 people. And I'm looking at, each one, I'm going, oh, don't forget your name, Paul. Please don't forget your name. Don't forget your name, Paul. I'm telling myself to forget my bloody name. And when I got, I said, I can't remember who I am, thank you. Boom. It petrified me so. Said, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Just to put that picture out of your mind. He said, this is what I do. I'm sitting there and you see, I picture myself. I imagine myself out in the front of that stage before I get there. So I'm sitting there and I'm looking at this like holograph picture of myself. I'm imagining myself out there chatting away to all the people. And it doesn't matter what size a crowd. Maybe I'm only talking to four people, five people, maybe I'm talking to 500 people. Doesn't matter the size of the crowd here. You got all these wonderful little gimmicks you could do. But he said, it doesn't matter. I just see myself over there doing it, enjoying myself. And then I just walk out into that spot where I was, I imagined myself and I catch myself up. That's what I do. Catch myself up. It's a little bit like suddenly I'm acting as if I was already there. So it is in simplicity, there is genius. It really is in simplicity, there is genius. Imagine yourself doing something exactly the way you want it to happen There you go. We've had two of those now. So if you think about it, what was I doing? And I'm sure you'do it too. If you had my. If you had that fear. If you have that fear. This is what we do, didn't we? This is what I used to do in the past. I would see myself not doing it as he was doing it, but I would see myself stuttering, faltering, getting embarrassed, and effectively failing, falling on my assse. And I'd feel all of it altogether. And guess what would happen. Yeah, it would not happen as bad as that. ###us it never happens as bad as we can imagine it. We always imagine the worse, the worst, the worse. But it wasn't pleasant, it wasn't good. I didn't enjoy it. So, of course, the next time I was thinking about it, I made the bloody pictures worse. That's what we did. And the thing is, because what you think about most of all is what you get, whether you like it or not. That's what you get. So, of course, if in the past, when I was thinking about stuttering, faltering, getting embarrassed, failing, I was thinking about it really passionately, reallyot emotions were racking up in there, and I said my stomach was churning, everything like that because the emotions were so high, my unconscious mind was going, oh, that's what you want. Because what you think about most of the time and feel is what you get, whether you like it or not. As if your unconscious mind says, if you get emotional about something, I think that's what you want. That's weird, isn't it? But that's a wonderful weird. A wonderful weird. How can that be so wonderful, Cloughie? How can it be so wonderful? It. Because that bloody process works, doesn't it? It just works. So let's put it in reverse. We do it so many times here on the personal development unplug. Let's just think. What is it? I want to be doing well. I want to be able to be comfortable. I want to be confident, not overonfident. I want to be comfortably confident in myself. Being aware of other people, becoming aware of the things I know, the things I want to explain, or maybe the things I want to connect with all that stuff. That's how I wa want to be and then just imagine yourself out there doing it. That's all you have to imagine yourself out there doing it. A little hologram of yourself doing it exactly the way you want it to do. Want it to be, rather. That's all you do. And as you do that, because we know in a moment, if we were to flow out into that me over there doing the stuff that we want to do exactly the way we want to do it, not the way we didn't want to do it, the way we do want to do it, the way we do want to be. And we float out there, we float into our body. We see what we saw, we hear what we heard we would hear. And we feel those feelings of doing it just away, just the way we want it to happen. We're trying it on, aren't we? We're trying it on. And if it doesn't feel quite as good as we want it, we can make it even better. Because it's just our bloody imagination. We're just imagining it the way we want it. And guess what? You get that good feeling. And, because it's that feeling, it's that feeling that your unconscious mind goes, oh, is this the way you want it then? Oh, bloody hell, that's what we'll do. And you get that feeling and guess what? Then you start to act as if. Act as if the way you imagined it. Because when you act as if you get those feelings again and your unconscious mind goes, yeah, we're back at it, come on. And it just happens. Just happen. Hey, hey, hey, hey. Have a thing, if it's okay with you right now, what would happen if we just did a very quick one, just to get the process into a mind so you can do it whenever you want to do it. Maybe I'll do, a little recording to do it separately, to put it in the hypnosis tracks and the process tracks I do on that other website, poolclothonline.com podcast, that's where they are. Think about what you would like to do better than you're doing already But before we go to that type of depth, let's just think. Is there something that you would like to do better than you're doing already? Just a little thing at the moment. Think of it the way you, you know, what you don't like. How would you like to be? Just if you think about it now, don't think about what you don't want. Think about what you do want. And, when you think about what you do want, think about how you want to be, how younna move, how younna breathe, how you wanna Use your facial expressions, how younna move your body, how you want to. Your tone of voice, maybe a smile, the glint in your eyes. The way you can focus. The way you can just access all the information inside you that younna share. And as you do that, just imagine now making sure, by the way, just before we do this, making sure you haven't got nothing else to do. By the way, you're not driving and all that bloody rubbish. It's not rubbish. You're not doing anything that needs your attention. That's what I'm trying to say. So if it's okay with you and no one needs your attention, it's perfectly, perfectly safe to do this. Because you might be better closing your eyes. It's a lot easier. Less distractions. So you've got to be able to close your eyes on this. If it's okay with you. If it's not, just pause for a moment. When you come back, just press play and we'do it. Close your eyes and imagine yourself performing just the way you want to perform But close your eyes. And as you close your eyes, just imagine yourself over there in front of you. Sometimes I do it like if I was on a stage down below me and in front of me so I'm looking down upon it because it's nice to get that meta view, that different perspective and see yourself doing just that bloody thing that you want to do just the way you want to do it. See yourself like performing in the way that you want to perform. Acting, not play acting but being, behaving just the way you want to be. Communicating just the way you want to be. Connecting just the way you want to connect. And when you think you've got it just about writing, don't be perfect. We've talked about perfect before. It's not going to be perfect because you're going to learn from this when it's about just as the way you want it. And just remember if you's not seeing this in 2020 vision F looking good because not everyone does that. It can be even a sense you're aware that you're doing it doesn't matter. Anything from a sense and awareness to 2020 vision is perfect in this because there's no perfect. And then just flo imagine floating out of where you are now into that you out on that stage and doing it exactly the way you are imagining it now with that tone of voice, that expression, that glint in your eyes, that smile moving your body, breathing. The way being able to articulate, connect, share your whatever you're sharing and notice how good it feels. And when you notice how good it feels. Ramp that feeling up. Just imagine you could just turn it up, make it more intense so you can really feel it, really feel it. Maybe you just want to anchor it. Remember that finger and thumb. Use a different finger, but a finger and thumb just anchor this feeling. So when you think about it in the future, you can just fire that anchor off. When you get to go to do it in real life, you can just fire that anchor off, but you can remember this. Just ask your unconscious mind to remember this. Come back into your body now. Because you've always got to come back in our body. open your eyes. Just imagine in the future, the next time you go to do this, you're gonna be that way. You're gonna act as if. I'm talk a lot more about acting... /episode/index/show/personaldevelomentunplugged/id/34203495

FMQ 474 A Brief Muse on Emotional Scars 12/11/2024

FMQ 474 A Brief Muse on Emotional Scars A Brief Muse on Emotional Scars A prequel to a longer and deeper dive into emotion scars left by trauma or significant emotional events. It's a 5 minute conversation I guess to wonder on the intention of these scars and more importantly have you fully healed. How do you know you've healed? and what to do about them if you haven't fully let go of those negative emotions and limiting beliefs. Please take this brief time to explore with me and know that help is at hand if you need it Please share to those who may need this: And if if you want to see me in person recording this here's the video link: Shine Brightly 🌟 Paul Hey there! I’d love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at . Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review . Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit . Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to . Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure. Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on , Castbox, , YouTube, or on our . Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨ Music Credits Music by Wataboi, DreamHeaven, ccjmusic, and others from . Personal development [self improvement] [self development] [NLP] [Hypnosis] /episode/index/show/personaldevelomentunplugged/id/34345490

#421 Afraid To Fail 12/07/2024

#421 Afraid To Fail Overcoming the Fear of Failure – Let’s Unplug This Together Hey, you. Yes, you. Have you ever felt stuck, frozen in the headlights of your own expectations? Like you’ve got to get it just right or not bother at all? That nagging fear of failure with that belief of "I'm not good enough"—it creeps in, doesn’t it? It stops us before we even start. But guess what? Today, we’re pulling the plug on all that. In this episode, we’re diving deep into what’s really behind that fear of failing. Spoiler alert: it’s not about being perfect. It’s about the stories we tell ourselves, the beliefs lurking in the shadows of our subconscious, and the ways we unknowingly keep ourselves stuck. But don’t worry—we’re not here to wallow. We’re here to shift. What We’ll Uncover: Why your unconscious mind stirs up all that anxiety—hint: it’s trying to protect you, just not in the best way. The roots of perfectionism and how they keep you from living your best, most adventurous life. How to rewrite those old stories—yes, the ones that tell you “you’re not good enough.” Tapping into your wins—those times you nailed it, even when you doubted yourself. Anchoring powerful, feel-good emotions to calm that inner critic and give you the courage to. There's loads of golden nuggets here along with the 'HOW' to change Please share so that others too can create the life they deserve - pay it forward Enjoy, shine and be well Paul Shine Brightly 🌟 Paul Hey there! I’d love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at . Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review . Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit . Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to . Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure. Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on , Castbox, , YouTube, or on our . Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨ Music Credits Music by Wataboi, DreamHeaven, ccjmusic, and others from . And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism The heads up to this longer podcast. Is there anything that resonates The heads up to this longer podcast. It's all about I've got to be perfect because I can't fail. I'm afraid to fail. I'm anxious to fail. I'm fearful of failing. Is there anything that resonates? Well, we've got to deep dive into this, and find ways to just let that go. And now we're going toa let it go easily and simply because that's what we do here in simplicity of those genes. Okay, come with me. Get your diving gear on and let's find ways of letting this go right now. Okay, the longer podcast, the deep dive, the deep dive in afraid to fail. And let's go straight into the pain. Really, Cloughie? Yeah, let's go into pain because it's painful. Here's a few words that I think M might resonate with you. It's got to be perfect. I've got to be perfect. It's got to be perfect. If it's not, what will people think? What will they think of me? And what will people think of what I do? Hey, what will that happen? What will happen then? What will it feel like if I get this really wrong, you know, sweating over the tiniest detail? Oh, it's no good. It's not good enough. In fact, I am not good enough. And I tell you what, let's do something that we even more. Even more. Maybe this will resonate even more than that. As you think of when you're doing something and you think it's not going to be good enough. But it's got to be perfect before it goes out into the world. You've got to be perfect before you go out in the world. Let's make a picture in our mind a wonderful movie. Better than Spielberg or anybody else could bloody produce of everything going bloody wrong. Yeah, let's do that. Make this wonderful movie, this picture in our head that shows total bloody failure. And guess what? That movie never happened, did it? That movie isn't happing. But the thing is, because of that movie in your mind, how do you feel? Well, not only you feel all that pressure of having to be perfect, people judging you. You start to get guilt, don't you? Guilt because you didn't produce the goods. But you haven't even produced the goods to hu. You get sadness because maybe you backed away from it, you didn't do it. Maybe there's a little bit of grief going with that sadness, like an extension to that sad. Then the anxiety suddenly kicks in. The fear. I ve gotta do it. I gotta do it. Don't we do this shit to us all the time? Especially when you got toa be perfect. And I want to give you a story. A story. Because this is exactly what one of my clients used to do. And when I spoke to her, she was saying this thing about I'm not good enough. And I said no, no, no, no, no. I know you're saying you're not good enough, but here's the thing. I think there's something deeper. And we went into the feeling of not feeling good enough. And she began to get the belief that was below I'm not good enough. Because I also said to her to, I'll say that again. Also said to her, I bet you're a bloody perfectionist. Because most people with the belief of I'm not good enough on everything else have that bit of perfectionism that they need to be and I'll tell you why shortly. And she said how'you know, Paul? I said well here's the thing. Did you really have to try hard at school or. She said I like to beat everyone at school. Said when you went to college, did you get any degrees? She said well, you know, I got degrees paol because I'm at the top of my job. And she worked in some type of hospital type position and she was a doctor of subkite and she was knocking it out the park. And she said I have to be my best all the time. All the time. All the time. And it's not the glass, ceiling. I've just got be best, got to do everything more than anybody else. Cannot be judged. I cannot be judged. And when we got into that feeling, she said, do you know what this belief is underneath? I'm not good enough. It's come to me now, I'm stupid. And she said, it makes so much sense to me now. And there is a real good positive behind this, you might say. Cluy. How can you be positive when you get guilt, sadness, grief, anxiety, fear, that pressure, that pressure and pressure to be perfect. And we all know, we all know there's no, you can't be perfect in this world. Nothing can be perfect. There's always something never quite perfect. You can always do that little bit better, can't you? Yeah, you can always do that a little bit better. So that was a pretty negative start, isn't it? Your unconscious mind tries to protect you from failure, anxiety and fear And here's the thing. Not going to go into the pleasure yet. Not going to go into the pleasure. But let's talk about this. There's a bloody good reason for all of this. And it's your unconscious mind trying to protect you. It's a great reason, isn't it, to be protected. Wouldn't you love to be protected all the time? Of course you would. I would. I love being in that feeling of feeling just so comfortable with myself and comfortable with the world and comfortable with everyone around me and comfortable with what I do. Wouldn't you? Yeah. See your unconscious mind, over time, something happened, something bloody small. Probably a long time ago when you was an IC icle person, something happened and it didn't quite. You did something and it wasn't quite right. Something happened. And your unconscious mind, well, I didn't like that feeling, didn't like that failure. Maybe there was a little bit of that sense of failure. Maybe there was that little bitter guilt. Maybe there's a little bit of sadness, a little bit of grief, maybe a little anxiety, a little bit of fear. And your unconscious mind says, I don't want this for you. I'm gonna protect you because I'm gonna give you this little belief. And it starts off as a little sense of I'm not good enough. That little bit of fear, little bit of anxiety to make sure you do a good job. Because then if your best friend makes sure you do a good job, how can you be judged? That seems pretty reasonable, doesn't it? But over time your unconscious mind says, I've got to accelerate this, I've got toa make it more intense because you keep doing bloody stuff that you have to do and you get bigger, more stuff comes along and you have to do it. So your unconscious mind says, I'm not gonna let you fail. I'm not gonna let you fail. I'm m not gonna have that feeling of failure. I'm really not. So I'm gonna make these feelings of anxiety, fear, I'm not good enough. Even the bits below, maybe I'm stupid and things like that even more intense. And what happens? Well, I'll tell you what happens in a minute. But here's the thing. If you do suffer from that I'm not good enough feeling, that feeling that you have to be perfect, that feeling you're gonna be judged. And you can see how that spreads into things like impostor syndrome and all that stuff. If you do suffer that, just think back, maybe go back a few years, not too long. But you'll probably notice that feeling isn't as intense as it is now. And if you went back even further, it's not as intense as it's even less intense. And it goes down because your unconscious mind has been ramping it up all to protect you. That's all it's doing. That's wonderful, isn't it? It is wonderful. The only problem is there is a bloody great conflict going on in the world here because your unconscious mind says I'm either going to protect you. Well, I will protect you either because I'm going to give you so much anxiety and stress now to make sure that you do your best job or you won't bloody do it because I'm going to frighten the Jeeus. I'GOT all these pictures in my mind. Remember all those movies going on, how bad it could be? Because you've really got to get better than that or you'got toa back away and don't do it. How do you feel in both of those situations? I bloody tell you do you feel a failure, you feel imperfect, you feel that guilt, the anxiety, the sadness, the grief, the fear, all that stuff. So there's a direct conflict. Your unconscious mind is protecting you from that stuff and the result is you feel it. And that's good in a way because now we can say to our unconscious mind I wanna change. And that's the whole thing. Let's get back to m let's go into pleasure now Let's get back to m let's see if we can go into pleasure now. Wanton pleasure is a great place to be, by the way. Wanton pleasure. Think of that. Heard that saying a Long time ago. Just go into wanton pleasure. But let's go from pain into the pleasure. And what's the first part of this pleasure? I'm going to tell you now, this is all changeable. This can be changed really quickly, really quickly. We can change this and we can be comfortable. And I said earlier in this podast, I love being comfortable in myself. I love being comfortable in the world. I love being comfortable with my friends. And whatever I'm doing, that's what I want. And you see, I tell you how much I feel that comfort. I want that comfort. The very first episode of this personal development unplugged podcast. Not the introduction one number one, but number two, it was all about being comfortable in the world. Letting go of fear, letting go of anxiety, letting go of panic attacks. They even did a hypnosis track it called #2.1 feeling comfortable. And it can change, as I say. But the thing is, firstly, where do we go wrong? Where do so many people go wrong when they try to change this? So many therapists, so many different people, they just want to change. They say, oh, do it this way, do it that way. There's a lot of cognitive stuff and they're ignoring something. They're ignoring your unconscious mind and it positive intention to try to protect you. They ignore it. They don't honour your unconscious mind. Your best friend who’s been doing it for fucking years to protect you and they ignore it completely. Now if I'm your best friend and you ignore me and I've been trying to do something for years and years and years and you ignore me, I'm going to say, do you know what? I'm going to do it even more. I'm not going to go along with this. And that's why they fail because again, they are setting up even more conflict in your mind m more conflict in your world because I just find it doesn't work. And we want to be protected in this world, don't we? We do want to be protected. And that's one of the prime directives of your unconscious mind. To heal you and protect you. That's what it's about. And it wants to protect you from failure. It wants it for you. It's been doing it for so bloody long. Thing is now it's just simply using out-dated processes, out-dated strategy, outdating emotions, behaviors, making those pictures in your mind, feeling the feeling. It's just, it worked a long time ago, but it's missing out. All those years of experience You've got all those years of skill, you've got all those learnings you've got. Because it just keeps doing the same thing. So we need to help him to change the belief. Well, not change the belief, but find a more empowering belief, to find more appropriate behaviours, empowering emotions. And, we need to basically ask your unconscious mind, which is what we re do in therapy, and you do it here. We just say to your unconscious mind, would it be okay to find a better way? Because we know there's a better. Because you know this isn't working at the moment. You can tell your unconscious mind, it feels shit, doesn't feel good. All this pressure just to work. In fact, when I was that client I was talking about earlier, when I said to her, wouldn't it be. Or how would it be? How would it be if you were to use all your skills, all your learnings, everything you've ever done, without the fear, how would you succeed? And she'd say, well, you would say. She did say. She said, I'd be even better, I'd succeed even more, and I would be happy in everything I did. And I know I couldn't be perfect. And, I know I'd learn from it because that's what it's all about, what we do. And it was that moment that she had that uh-huh, aha moment. It would be better to find a better way and without the old ways of anxiety and fear. So we enlist your unconscious mind. We say, I, know you're doing a great job for us. Thank you. You're trying so hard. But let's see if we can find a better way. And we know there's millions of better ways. There's a myriad of better ways. And when we find better ways, even one. And, I said there's millions. A myriad. I love that word, myriad. There's a richness I. You use word rich too much now. But there's a richness of better ways. There's better emotions. Just think being comfortable instead of being anxious, wouldn't that be better? Absolutely. Being a little bit confidence in your competence. You're not overconfident, but you're confident in your competence. Wouldn't that be better? Absolutely. Being able to access all your skills, your knowledge at the moment, wouldn't that be better? Absolutely. Being able to see clearly, wouldn't that be better? Absolutely. So just finding one of those ways would be better and you can have all of them. That. Find times in your past when you've been successful and enjoyed doing it So all we have to do to show you our Unconscious mind, there's better ways. And, how'you do that? Because so many people say, there you go, that's done. Just find better ways. But how the bloody hell did you do it? Well, CLU is here. Never let you go. Never let you go without a how simple way. A really. And in simplicity there's genius. You know that in simplicity there is genius. In simplicity there is genius. We simply find times in your past when you've been successful and enjoyed doing it. And it doesn't have to be in the same context, it really doesn't. It could be just doing anything. You know that time when time sometimes just stand still, you're m in the flow. But just times in the past, at any age, it doesn't have to be yesterday, could be at any time in the past when you've done something, turned out great. Maybe it was a struggle, maybe it was a little bit of a struggle to get there, but you got there and you felt great. You weren't frightened because you had that motivation, that inner confidence. You've got to do this. And if you can write them down, really do write them down. Because you what I say, and I know people sometimes say ``write the bloody stuff down all the time. Yeah, because you relive it when you write it down. And when you relive it, you feel those feelings again. And these are what we call counterexamples, counter examples to your issue. And when we relive each one, we're actually teaching our unconscious mind, look, here's a better way. And you feel those feelings and you can even think, well, what belief must I have had back then when I was doing that? Because I must have had a bloody positive belief about myself when I did that work. And if you can't think about belief, it doesn't come to you. I can make it up. Just say to yourself, what m mu ev must I have had? Because when you come up with, well, I must have had a belief about, I'm okay, I'm safe, I'm gon toa do this, I can succeed. Where did that belief just come from when you made it up? It's the belief or as close as damn it. So you know, you've got that belief and you can do more than one. Obviously you've got more than one, but because what happens when you start to thinking one, Another one comes along and another one comes along. So you need to write pretty quickly. But each one of those is another set of skillse they're nevernna be identical. It'snna be that recipe. Sometimes you more this, more that and you're showing your unconscious mind, this is it. and you can say to yourself with each one, what do we like to use these skills, these emotions, these behaviourss in place of the old way, what would we, we like to use these skills, behave as emotions in the future and imagine it, imagine it bloody happening. You see, when we ask that of the past, we learn from the past. And the thing is, when you think about those counter examples, what would happen if we were to anchor that feeling. When you thought about that time in the past and you see what you saw, hear what you heard and you feel those feelings. And as you feel those feelings, you squeeze a one finger and a thumb together just at the peak of that experience, peak of that feeling. And maybe you just say a word, maybe the belief you think you had, then let it go. And then think of the next one. And as you go through the next one, you feel that feeling. Because you see what you saw, hear what you heard, feel the feelings. As you feel those feelings, let them go so intense. And squeeze the same finger and thumb together, say that same word. You're now stacking an anchor. You're anchoring those feelings. And so when you think about what would it be like in the future, fire the anchor off. That would make the picture in your mind be so good because you're imaginine it happening the way you want it to happen. And Even if you look back at the past and you find that anger, you'd notice that memory... /episode/index/show/personaldevelomentunplugged/id/34203470

FMQ 473 The Opposite To Time Blocking 12/04/2024

FMQ 473 The Opposite To Time Blocking The Opposite of Time Blocking Time blocking I guess was made famous by Cal Newport and is an excellent way to schedule and be productive. It does mean you have to have a plan and the will to execute that plan. That's something we can dive deeper into in a longer episode - not just the plan but why we fail to plan, what stops us, and how to remove those things. But this is a 5-minute quickie to use time blocking in reverse to find out what we do all day - the diversions, the distractions - the 'stuff' that we do or don't do without realizing it and then wonder where all the time went. As some think time is finite, a runway that's always getting shorter, I'll share with you a way to find those things that we consciously choose to distract ourselves from the important work of living the best life. Enjoy and please share: Oh! And the video is here: Shine Brightly 🌟 Paul Hey there! I’d love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at . Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review . Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit . Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to . Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure. Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on , Castbox, , YouTube, or on our . Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨ Music Credits Music by Wataboi, DreamHeaven, ccjmusic, and others from . Personal development [Unplugged] [podcast][NLP][Hypnosis][self development]self improvement][awareness] /episode/index/show/personaldevelomentunplugged/id/33687467

#420 Being Your Super Hero in HYPNOSIS 11/30/2024

#420 Being Your Super Hero in HYPNOSIS Being Your Super Hero in HYPNOSIS A little while ago in episode #417 we explored what our super hero would be like, their values, beliefs, behaviors and what they stood for. I promised to create a hypnosis track that creates a closer connection with this part of you and here it is. I hope you enjoy the new deeper layers of this recording and you get to realize at both the conscious and unconscious levels of how great you are, can be and will be. This is hypnosis so DO NOT listen if you need your attention elsewhere Simply give yourself permission for a little self time and learn and be. Please share Shine Brightly 🌟 Paul Hey there! I’d love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at . Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review . Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit . Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to . Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure. Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on , Castbox, , YouTube, or on our . Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨ Music Credits Music by Wataboi, DreamHeaven, ccjmusic, and others from . Personal development [self improvement] [self development] [NLP] [Hypnosis] /episode/index/show/personaldevelomentunplugged/id/34191225

FMQ472 Why You're Afraid to Fail 11/27/2024

FMQ472 Why You're Afraid to Fail Why You're Afraid to Fail How is it that fearing failure is actually doing something good for you. In effect protect you from failure. The issue is that it also generates those negative and limiting beliefs such as 'I'm not good enough' 'I'm not worthy' and so on. The thing is there is a direct conflict in this form of protection is to actual feel a failure and really believe I'm not good enough because I didn't do the stuff I want to do because of that ,now, inappropriate fear. So let's muse how we can change this, to stay protected and do the stuff I dream of. Come with me now for 5 or so minutes and hopefully we'll dive deeper in a longer episode please share: And the video link Shine brightly Paul Please remember you can leave a comment or email me with questions, requests and feedback. If you have enjoyed this or any other episode please share and subscribe. Just email me If you want to subscribe to the podcast (I know you do) Remember for my specially designed programs for developing Supreme Inner Confidence, Free Your Life of Anxiety and specialize Hypnosis tracks go to If you want to access my FREE HYPNOSIS tracks go to Follow and inter-react on twitter @pcloughie I’m a therapist but not your therapist The information with this website or online work, techniques and exercises provided within these free and paid products are for educational purposes only. Do not use the techniques or exercises contained within some of these free or paid products whilst driving or operating machinery, or if you suffer from epilepsy, clinical depression or any other nervous or psychiatric conditions. The information provided is not a substitute for proper medical advice. If in doubt, please consult your doctor or licensed medical practitioner. Any decision you make having received any of Paul Clough's free or paid products are your own and you remain wholly responsible for any decisions and actions you take. Why not look for me and the podcast on AND the app Castbox I'm also in YouTube - copy n paste UC3BlpN4voq8aAN7ePsIMt2Q into search bar The Libsyn podcast page http://personaldevelomentunplugged.libsyn.com tunein, learnoutloud, Google Play Music Music by from , Music by from , Music by from , >, Music by from , Music by from , Personal development [Unplugged] [podcast][NLP][Hypnosis][self development]self improvement][awareness] /episode/index/show/personaldevelomentunplugged/id/33687257

#419 The Secret Of Creating A Rich Life 11/23/2024

#419 The Secret Of Creating A Rich Life The Secret Of Creating A Rich Life Ever felt like you had a brilliant idea, only to watch it slip through your fingers? It’s frustrating, isn’t it? But here’s the thing: those fleeting thoughts are like the seeds of a rich life—if you plant them by writing them down, they can grow into something incredible. In this episode, I’m sharing why jotting things down isn’t just about remembering stuff. It’s about creating clarity, capturing creativity, and turning small moments into a richer, more fulfilling life. Here’s what we’ll explore together: Preserving the treasures of your mind – Why writing helps you hold on to the gold. Turning sparks into flames – How to transform fleeting ideas into bold actions. Finding clarity in the chaos – Use writing as a tool to sort through challenges and uncover solutions. Building richness every day – Discover how this small habit leads to a more creative, inspired, and meaningful life. Your Challenge: Write It Down For the next 10 days, I challenge you to write down your ideas, dreams, and even the little moments that make you smile. Don’t overthink it—just capture them. You’ll start to see how this simple act creates a ripple effect, adding layers of richness to your life. And to share this episode and the podcast to those you think could benefit (that's all of them - right?) 419-the-secret-of-creating-a-rich-life Shine Brightly Paul Hey there! I’d love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at . Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review . Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit . Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to . Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure. Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on , Castbox, , YouTube, or on our . Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨ Music Credits Music by Wataboi, DreamHeaven, ccjmusic, and others from . And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism So here we are at Personal Development Unplugged. So what do we do here? Just before we get into the meat and gravy of this, episode, what is the Personal Development Unplugged podcast about? Well, for me, it's about breaking down the complicated steps to create a life of richness, to create the hero in you and you to become your own hero, your best self, the best version of you. And we all have issues. We all have things that we need to let go of. And that's what we do here. We let go of issues right here. Don't have to have all that therapy, but you can, because I'm a therapist. Not your therapist, but I am a therapist. I'm bloody good hypnotist, I think. And I'll use hypnosis here, but we'll work out wonderful ways to create the life we deserve. setting up goals, dreams, wishes, making them all come into reality, breaking down those blocks, the things that stop us, clearing up issues and anything else, what comes along. So that's what it's all about. So let's jump into the real meat and gravy, as they say, or what? I said, let's jump in now. How many times have you forgotten great ideas or great memories Hey, I've got a real good question for you. And it's not, why do I always start with hey? But the real question is, how many times, if you're like me, I've had a great idea, something that just comes out of nowhere and you think, ah, that is awesome. Absolutely awesome. Yeah, I'll do something about that and you don't. Something else comes along and you've forgotten about it for a little while. In fact, you might have forgotten about it for a long time until. Until you see something and you go, that's exactly the thing I thought about. That was my idea. Why didn't you do anything about it at the time? And, I know someone actually said there's, like these ideas floating around the ether, the multiverse, the universe, and they're the same idea is falling on lots of different people, but it's only the people who take action on those ideas. They're the ones who do it. And all the other people go, oh, that could have been me. I had that type of idea. Oh, look at them. And you see, it all comes down to, I guess, the real basics of success and I guess the basics of personal development. Because personal development is easy, or it should be easy, should be made simple. And that's what we do here in personal development Unplugged. break down the complicated make into simple steps and then do it. But here's the thing. What happened to that idea? Why did it disappear? Why didn't you do anything about it? Well, it's simple. It is simple. And again, is a basic of your personal development that we can get so far. But there's this one key, it's another key. There's lots of keys, but this is one key that really does work. And I know you might go. When you hear about it, you're going to go, oh, cloughy, you talk about this so much. Okay, I do. But do you follow it? And that's the bit. You don't know what it is yet. You see, this was. I've, been doing it for a long time, but then it was reminded, or I was re reminded that to do it more on a number of occasions. One was way back, oh, four years ago now. Over four years ago. And I recorded something about it, and it was 190. That's how far back it is. July 2020, because I'd been listening to the old Joe Rogan podcast, and he uses a bit more colorful language than this, but he was talking about how he creates the things that he creates. And he says he doesn't just come to me and I just do it. I have to write that sucker down. Well, he didn't say sucker, but you can guess what he said. I have to write it down. And then when I write it down, I can work on it. And, why is it so important? Why is it so important over, and above for getting great ideas? Because you have forgotten great ideas. Well, I know I have. And then I've seen some bugger do them in my place. But I've also forgotten great memories. Yeah, because when you record great memories by writing that sucker down, you get it in all modalities because you have to describe the pictures in your mind. And it also helps with your visualization because you're remembering things. And if you can do it at the time you are recording great memories. So it's not like a diary. Oh, I had this great time with my friend. No, you can just go into your memory right now and describe the memory in the way that it feels, the way that it made you feel. Because it's a feeling, the feeling, the emotion, the wonderful positive emotion that when you describe it, you feel it again. And if you ever come back to it, and you would, because it's such a good thing, you'd read it again, that memory would pop into your mind's eye and you'd feel it in all senses. And that's the wonderful thing. Not just visual, because you can see things. But if you don't get the emotions, you don't get the internal voice, the really good one, the positive belief that goes with it. Memories disappear and yeah, we can vaguely remember them, but wouldn't it be nice to. It's like a photograph, I guess, isn't it? You know, we always look at photographs and come back, but that's what it is. But you're doing it yourself now. You can explore all different things as well. You can explore issues because I always say, you know, really get to think about your issue. Deep work, thinking. And it doesn't have to be long time, deep work, thinking, but to explore them. You can think about it. Sit there with your cup of coffee thinking away. Someone interrupts you and guess what? Oh, what was I thinking about? What the hell was it? And it's gone, isn't it? And what's happened? Well, it obviously wasn't that important, says your unconscious mind. Well, let that one go. But if you begin to explore an issue, you can mind map it. You can talk about and, express the emotions. You can look and think about the positive intention. Why, you know, what is important about this? What is the positive intention behind having this issue? You can ask yourself questions, and you know, I'm big on questions, but not just thinking about them, but writing them down and writing the answers. And you don't have to write the answer straight away. That's the whole point of writing that sucker down, because it's there for you. Come back when you've got another five minutes. Because when you do that, because you've left it open, your unconscious mind carries on, the thought process, it delves down deep inside your unconscious memories, your skills, the things, all sorts of experiences and wisdom. And we'll find answers for you. So when you go back, it's as if the switch goes on and things just come to your mind. Come to your pen, as it were. So that's memories, that's issues. But what about this? Say right now you're experiencing something really good. Make notes when you come across something happening right now What would happen if you made a note of that right now? Not just think about, oh, that's lovely, at the end of the day, which it is, and go through it again. But when you write it down, it's as if you're capturing the moment. And again, to write it down, you have to use that internal voice of yours to describe it. And when you describe it, you have to look at the pictures really deeply, the pictures in your mind. And when you see them and you describe them and you feel them again, it makes so much more. In fact, I think I've talked about this before. it was again, the name of the man has disappeared. It was doing storytelling and things like that. But he said, I just had that little book that you. You. When you come across something happening right now, you make a little note of it. He called it homework for Life. And that was to create stories. But for me, it was to create great memories in the now, so I don't have to try to remember a great memory. I'm recording it right in the moment. And all this does is either get your unconscious mind to recognize the feelings, the good ones, or delve deeper to find new ways so you can feel better in the future. What else is writing this sucker down? Do? Well, for me, when you. When you're looking at issues, it gives you clarity, it creates more clarity. You can tend to look at things from different perspectives, because when you do that, you know, if you look at something differently, what you look at appears different, and you get a different perspective on that issue. And as soon as you have that, it's like a reframe. Ah. it doesn't just mean this. It also could mean this. And, that's a positive. How can I use this as a positive? So you start to get more clarity. You get more options, as if you're doing projects and things like that, or your goals, your dreams, you know, you write that dream down. I know. I used to produce a little book called the Dream Book, where you went through this process, and it just brought those dreams into certainly more clarity, gave you more thought, and suddenly more options would appear in your mind. And it sets off this. I don't know what it is, but the more you do it, it's as if you're attracting more ideas, more options. Now, you don't have to take them all up, but you put them down. And when you come back sometimes you go, ah, I didn't think that was possible, but now it is. Because you're a different person when you come back to those notes again and you see they're all reviewable. You can adapt them. The things all this is impossible. What? Cluffy, you're saying it's impossible? Yes, impossible if you don't write that sucker down. Because I guarantee you one of the old personal development Claphy guarantees. Because I do it myself. I've done it myself and I still do it. Occasionally you forget that bugger. And why would you want to do that when you're not just developing yourself, but just you're learning? You imagine how many of us, when we read a book, actually make notes as we go along. I'm really guilty of not doing that. I'm trying to do better. Trying. I'm even set my intention now when I read then what can I wonder what I'm going to learn from this? Could I learn what's the most important thing to learn on, this next 10 minutes? And then write that sucker down because there's no point in setting intention of what you're going to learn. And then forget the fucker. Excuse me swearing, but that's what happens, isn't it? And I want you to have this richness, richness of memories that, as you look at a little book, boom, I just come, come to you. And you can do it in so many wonderful ways. I mean, you can just write them down. You can have little pictures, I mean, mind maps. I'm a, mind map freak. Mind maps. Tony Bazan developed the mind map. It's such a simple way, a simple way to remember things. It's such a simple way to create those options, to add more ideas, to park things, to put them back. And the thing is, they're never, ever forgotten. You can park them, but they're still there. And, if you ask questions about these things, you know, what can I learn from this? What am I not doing if I started doing now, would allow this issue to disappear. What am I doing that if I stopped doing would allow this issue to disappear? What would this be like if it was easy? You can't just think of those. You need to write them down. And to me, doing them on a bloody computer doesn't work. Get that? Muscle memory, the handwriting. I mean, there's a great thing and I talked about it on a five minute quickie. Again, can't remember how years ago. And I've called it, because in my mind I Can't remember what it was really called. I called it things Like Outer Limits thinking, where for 10 minutes, with one piece of paper, you write down every sort of idea, everything you'd like to do, get a theme, and go, what can I do to really create this? Or if it's just to have fun, what are all the things I could, do and have fun if it's in a relationship, how can I make this relationship richer? And, without editing 10 minutes, you. You just keep writing. Your pen doesn't come off the page. And I tell you what, it's like dumping everything in your mind. And you get through the first couple of minutes because you've all. That's all the conscious stuff. And when the unconscious stuff comes out, you go, shit, there's some good stuff here. Now, some of it is so wild, you might think, never going to happen. But, what will happen is even that wild shit will bring thoughts to you in the future because it'll always be there. Because if you think, oh, if I could do that, though, if I could, what would it feel like? Oh, now I'm getting the feeling of the wish fulfilled. And now your unconscious mind go, well, that's maybe too far a bridge too far a jump too far, but here's a step that gets us halfway there. Now, how can you do this? I mean, it's so bloody simple. My challenge to you is do this for about a week You need a pen, your pencil. I have what I call a puzzle book, which is a book of plain paper. I have my journal, and these, things come from my journal. Then I'll pop it in the puzzle book. Or you have these little things called a field book, and they're only tiny, tiny, tiny little books, but you can put them in your pocket. So when that moment happens or you see something, someone being kind over there, just make a note of it, because it made you feel good. And that also makes you think, I wonder if I could do something similar to be kind to somebody else, that type of thing. Or if you hear something and you go, that's wonderful. How many times that, if you like me, you hear something on a podcast and you go, you're on for me. It's generally on the treadmill. And I go, oh, that is awesome. Bloody word awesome again, that is such a good thing. I must remember that. I must remember that. And then you say to yourself with a great hypnotic bloody thing which says, don't forget it. And what do you do? You're telling yourself to forget it. But if you. Very quickly, as soon as you stop that running you go, ah, write it down. Take it, take it in your shorts. When you go into the gym, taking your little bag, it's awesome because it's so small. And the thing is, and the biggest takeaway from this is because you can return to it time and time again, it gets richer. And the more you do it, guess what? It gets easier. It's effortless. Effortless. And even looking at your puzzle book, your journal, the little field book, it acts as an anchor, an anchor for ideas. Say you just had an idea book and you write ideas on it with a big light bulb or something like that. Every time you see it, your unconscious mind will go around and go, oh, let's give him another one. Let's give her another one. And what happens? Our life becomes richer. We start trying to find even more ways to learn even more. And it's as if the more you do this, something richer comes along, something even gooder comes along. And what are we doing? We're taking responsibility for the richness of our life. And you could say, well, this is a bit like creating your reality, isn't it? You could say that because you're thinking of things, you're writing them down, you're getting that feeling, and that feeling is your motivation. It's your why. In some ways, you just haven't written out the why, but you could, because you've got a book to write out. Why is this so important to me now? What will it allow me to do? You could have a little page of stock questions. As you look at one, jumps out to you and go, that's going to give me the answer to something new. I think if you just did this a few minutes a day, carried a little field book, which costs you bugger all, a little notebook you can even buy. And I noticed this, I've bought them. You instead of. If you got like a Biro, you can buy Biro's now. There are, only about 3 inches long, 75 millimeters long. They fit. They're smaller than the bloody book. You have no excuses, because we've all got excuses, haven't we? Oh, I can't find a pen or. I could never do that. Try it. Do it. My challenge again, My challenge to you is do this for about a week. Do it, everyone could do something for a week. You can always do something for 10 days. Do it for 10 days and notice how different your life is. And the thing is, it's only got to be different by 5% to go. This is good. And I bet you it's going to be bigger than that. I bet you're going to have better ideas. I bet you're going to feel better. I bet things are just going to suddenly come your way. And if nothing else, you'll have a list of wonderful memories that you'll always be able to recall because you just read them. Because sometimes I can't remember. Now you've got this wonderful little tomb, tome, tome of memories. And they're not photographs. They're, as you read it, they're in your words describing the wonderful feelings you had. And then you get it back again. I'm harping on about this a bit, aren't I? But I do think, do think if you could just do this for a few days, you will find a difference. And even if you go, oh, I can't get a field book, I can't get a journal, I can't get a paper book, get a piece of paper, get a little card. I mean, the great one is you get these little cards and you stick them in a wallet, stick them in a purse, stick them in your pocket,... /episode/index/show/personaldevelomentunplugged/id/33953052

FMQ 471 One Simple Step To Success 11/20/2024

FMQ 471 One Simple Step To Success One Simple Step To Success Here's the one step that we miss out and when we do we create anxiety, overwhelm and everything else negative. And if you choose this step, and it's simple and easy but as always it takes effort. We all have ideas, intuitions that come to us unexpectedly and we always say to ourselves - AWESOME!!!! I'll remember that and..............we forget the blooming thing ..........gone forever. So what is this step that I bet you don't do and if you did greatness, excitement and success would follow And ......... there's no downside So have a listen for 5 minutes and then take the step and share And the video link id here too: Shine brightly Paul Please remember you can leave a comment or email me with questions, requests and feedback. If you have enjoyed this or any other episode please share and subscribe. Just email me If you want to subscribe to the podcast (I know you do) Remember for my specially designed programs for developing Supreme Inner Confidence, Free Your Life of Anxiety and specialize Hypnosis tracks go to If you want to access my FREE HYPNOSIS tracks go to Follow and inter-react on twitter @pcloughie I’m a therapist but not your therapist The information with this website or online work, techniques and exercises provided within these free and paid products are for educational purposes only. Do not use the techniques or exercises contained within some of these free or paid products whilst driving or operating machinery, or if you suffer from epilepsy, clinical depression or any other nervous or psychiatric conditions. The information provided is not a substitute for proper medical advice. If in doubt, please consult your doctor or licensed medical practitioner. Any decision you make having received any of Paul Clough's free or paid products are your own and you remain wholly responsible for any decisions and actions you take. Why not look for me and the podcast on AND the app Castbox I'm also in YouTube - copy n paste UC3BlpN4voq8aAN7ePsIMt2Q into search bar The Libsyn podcast page http://personaldevelomentunplugged.libsyn.com tunein, learnoutloud, Google Play Music Music by from , Music by from , Music by from , >, Music by from , Music by from , Personal development [self improvement] [self development] [NLP] [Hypnosis] /episode/index/show/personaldevelomentunplugged/id/33665622

#418 How To Think - For Success 11/16/2024

#418 How To Think - For Success How to Think Better for Success Are you ready to unleash the power of your own mind and turn those dreams into reality? This episode is all about learning how to think better—simple, down-to-earth strategies to shift your thoughts toward success. Through a mix of storytelling and practical tools, I’ll share personal insights and experiences that have helped me along my journey. Together, we’ll dive into the art of *intentional thinking* and explore ways to create your own “puzzle book” to spark creativity and keep your mind focused. You’ll discover how dedicating even a little time each day to clear, intentional thinking can bring clarity, solve problems, and unlock fresh ideas. Writing, as you’ll find, isn’t just about putting words on paper; it’s a way to expand your thinking and gain new perspectives. We’ll also tackle some classic excuses we all have—“I don’t have time!”—and explore why time isn’t the barrier we think it is. Here’s what’s inside this episode: The Power of Intentional Thinking** – How setting a clear direction for your thoughts can lead to real breakthroughs. Creating a Puzzle Book** – A tool to help organize ideas, connect dots, and keep those creative juices flowing. Overcoming Excuses** – The “no time” myth, busted. I’ll show you simple ways to make time for your own thinking sessions. Building a Thinking Habit** – Practical ways to make regular thinking a part of your life. What You'll Take Away: Clarity and Focus** – Get a handle on what’s urgent vs. what’s important, so you can move forward meaningfully. Confidence and Calm** – Experience that peace of mind that comes from having a clear direction. Inspiration to Act** – Feel ready to tackle new challenges and inspire others along the way. *Are you ready to think better?* Jump in and start your journey now. And hey, let’s spread some good vibes—share this episode and let’s create a wave of positive change. Shine brightly, Paul Shine brightly Paul Please remember you can leave a comment or email me with questions, requests and feedback. If you have enjoyed this or any other episode please share and subscribe. Just email me If you want to subscribe to the podcast (I know you do) Remember for my specially designed programs for developing Supreme Inner Confidence, Free Your Life of Anxiety and specialize Hypnosis tracks go to If you want to access my FREE HYPNOSIS tracks go to Follow and inter-react on twitter @pcloughie I’m a therapist but not your therapist The information with this website or online work, techniques and exercises provided within these free and paid products are for educational purposes only. Do not use the techniques or exercises contained within some of these free or paid products whilst driving or operating machinery, or if you suffer from epilepsy, clinical depression or any other nervous or psychiatric conditions. The information provided is not a substitute for proper medical advice. If in doubt, please consult your doctor or licensed medical practitioner. Any decision you make having received any of Paul Clough's free or paid products are your own and you remain wholly responsible for any decisions and actions you take. Why not look for me and the podcast on AND the app Castbox I'm also in YouTube - copy n paste UC3BlpN4voq8aAN7ePsIMt2Q into search bar The Libsyn podcast page http://personaldevelomentunplugged.libsyn.com tunein, learnoutloud, Google Play Music Music by from , Music by from , Music by from , >, Music by from , Music by from , And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism Hey, how to think better for success. Who am I to tell you? But I've got a couple of things, just got a couple of things that I know that if you did them, you would create success for your life and those dreams and goals would become your reality. And it all starts with stories, because we love a story. I got two or three of those. So come and dive in with me and learn. Or just sample a few ways of thinking better. How to think better for success. Thought about this and I made loads of notes. And then looking at my notes again, I thought, who the nearly swore. Who am I to tell people how to think better? Now I do think I've got some things to share and it's not the only way, but I do think I'm on the right track. If anyone's listening to Jordan Peterson, I really think he's got it when he thinks writing is thinking. Because if you think about it, if you didn't think when you wrote, you just have a mass of lines everywhere and that'd be crazy. And I know you're thinking now, oh, shit, he's talking about writing it down again. Well, bit. Bit more than that. A bit more than that. I want to tell you a couple of stories. Maybe three. Maybe three sort of little stories. They're not much, but they're a little bit, you see, not. Well, a few years ago, A few years ago, my eldest son came to me and said, hey, dad, do you want to go away for a couple of days? I want to hire a barn, one of those converted barns. Not a barn with. With animals in, you know, but a converted barn for a couple of days. So we could just think. You think in one end of the barn, I'll think in the other end of the barn and we'll have lunch and then you'll think again and then we'll go out for dinner, and, then maybe one afternoon we'll just have a little ride around and things like that, see the countryside. But we'll. It'll be nice to be together, but also nice to get into a thinking mode, to plan. And I thought, that's a hell of an idea. Because you see, before I used to prattle on about, about sort of thinking and setting intentions, but it didn't really do anything. But going there was really setting intention. As soon as you walked through the door, you knew what you're going to do. We had a great time, did lots of thinking, still got me in my books, my notes I made, and so did he. And it was lovely to be with one of my sons just for a couple of days by ourselves. Awesome. And in my, My other life, when I used to be in, like a business type thing, and my partner, Mike, and he would often say to me, hey, Paul, we got this thing happening. It's like an issue. We've got a problem. Go away for a little while and think of how you think we could tackle it. Now, I'm an options man. I love options. And I would do, option one, option two, option C, D, four, five, whatever. And I'd come back to him with these lovely options. I'd really spend a lot of time thinking of the, different things, mitigations and all that stuff. I was following all different processes, and it really worked well. So I used to go away quietly by myself and do it. And then I'd go through with Paul. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Just before we go. Too bad. We. Which one? Well, I like to go through it with you. No, no, just tell me which one. Because you've done a lot of thought on this. You know the answer. You done a lot of thinking. So I came up with, well, I think it's this one. So we'll do it then, because we're going to use your plan, and if there's something better comes along and we find that we can do it even better, we'll just change course, we'll be flexible. And that's exactly what I liked. And I think that type of thinking with options and mitigations got me into, when I started into this, getting deeper into personal development and trying to solve my own issues. Because as much as I do all this work and I do hypnotherapy and I work with clients, you know, we all have issues, we all have stuff. you know, if you want to get better at life, you want to enjoy life, create a better life for yourself, have dreams and goals, you know, this podcast was just a little idea at one time, then it became something into reality, but came through this like a thought process that I did. And I think with these type of things, I developed this thing I call my puzzle book because I used to have a lot of journaling and thinking in journaling, but I wanted something more specific. And what is a puzzle book? Well, a puzzle book to me is a book with plain paper in it. Plain sheets of paper. That's all. I don't like lines because they. They restrict Me, my lines restrict me. M dots are quite good sometimes but I really prefer plain sheet. A4 size if I can get it slightly, maybe a little bit smaller. But when I open it out I've got a nice big double sheet type thing. Anyway, enough about the puzzle book because you can buy them anywhere because it's literally just a book with pieces of paper. But for me when I sit down with that, it in itself and of itself, I love that thing. It fires off my intention when I sit down. It's like triggering my unconscious mind. Thinking is anchored to the puzzle book and because of that I changed my state. I'm sure I changed my state. Love my mind maps in there. But they just things seem to flow not always straight away but it allows me to be open, open to ideas sometimes strange and weird thoughts, creative thoughts that just might work. And I've done a little podcast on spending a few moments, a day or a week just doing the most weirdest thoughts you could have about what you want in life. Not just weird thoughts because that would be weird. And writing those suckers down. And that's the whole point about this puzzle book. You write them down when you just spend time. And I know I made a note that the previous longer podcast about thinking about your hero, becoming your hero. Cloughie says most of his ideas come from either his puzzle book or journal The best version of yourself getting more something you can get hold of, something you can see more clearly. That came from just someone mentioning something than me going into the puzzle book and it just exploded into thoughts and I got more clear. So if you look at be your superhero or be your hero, something like that, it's only a couple of podcast episodes back that came from that. But when I thought about it, virtually every, everything I've talked about seems to come from either in my puzzle book or my journal. And what are they? They're all sitting down thinking and writing. Writing is thinking and it's a wonderful habit to get into. And as I said, a lot of my writing can be just in the form of a mind map which explodes in my mind sometimes giving me all the different options, different thoughts that I can develop them. And I say it just allows me to see options taking time. But I know what you're going to say, well, not you personally because I know you're in there, in here for the, for the long haul. But there's, there'll be some who will say, oh, Cloughie, I haven't got enough time. I haven't got enough time to sit down and think. And that's Bollocks. It really is. It's a load of old balls. That's just a petty, flimsy excuse. It's for wimps. It is, it's an excuse. People think, I think they haven't got time. And you see if you believe that and you haven't got time to sit down and think about things, what happens? And I made two or three notes about this. You know, they just react. They react there and then. There's no thought at all. React without thought. There's no plan. There's no plan of any kind. In fact, it's just a reaction, isn't it? Just a reaction with no real intention. And what tends to happen is they might get lucky. They might get lucky and come up with something, but they end up doing something. The first thing that comes to mind, a knee jerk reaction and that goes wrong. And then they find something else and that goes wrong. Then they get overwhelmed and then they. It's just such a waste of fucking time. And it could have been stopped so easily if they'd have stopped and thought, did a little bit of thinking first. And this thing about time. We waste time every bloody way, don't we? Have a look, have a look of how much you do on the typical things. Social media, maybe gossiping, maybe just actually just bonky stuff walking around. I even started putting in my diary. Instead of planning, along with planning the things I wanted to do in the day, I actually wrote down what I actually did. And as soon as I started writing down what I did, it made me think of what I'm going to do next. And I started to get more things done just by looking at it going, no, I don't want to keep writing down. I spent 15, 20 minutes looking at bloody social media. I want to be writing down that I'm making changes, doing stuff. Even if it was sitting down thinking 15 minutes. And what else happens when people don't think? Well, they end up just doing the urgent things that keeps things giving the impression that they're busy. Oh, I'm so busy. I'm so busy now. You're fooling yourself if that's the case because you're doing those urgent things, you're not doing the important things, you're just doing stuff. And there's that knee jerk reaction again. Does this make sense? maybe, I'm talking about me time ago. Hopefully I didn't do a lot of this, but I'd seen it. I see it so much, people just doing, you know, these urgent things. Flitting and flopping to each different thing and not making any bloody difference in the world. Certainly not making no difference to their life and creating more problems. I see a lot of this when I deal with clients because they come in, certainly when they come from business and I'm doing my coaching course, maybe overwhelm, because there's so much going on. And if they just resolved one thing from a place of clarity, the world would change. And it does change when we get there. Putting 10 minutes aside to think about a particular subject can make life better So how long. Here's a question to you. How long does thinking actually take? I got you thinking now. How long did that take? I didn't. I didn't plan that. That just came out that way. But thinking can be as much as five minutes, where you just stop and, pause and you think to yourself, what am I going to do next? Is this going to make my life better or worse? What a wonderful question. Because then you can go, actually, I need to stop and think maybe a little bit deeper about this because I don't know, maybe you don't know the answer. I don't know if it's gonna make. It seems to think I'm gonna make my life better. But on the other hand, oh, but least that stopping and pausing has got you to think of all. What would make my m. Life better? If this is gonna be it, how can I do it? Lovely questions again, but you're writing these things down. Because if you just sit there and think about it, great start. But then someone goes, hey, did you want a coffee or did you want this? Oh, yeah, that's great. How you been? And it's all gone. Those thoughts are gone, and you're back to reacting, doing the urgent stuff. Now. You could actually just put 10 minutes aside, allowing yourself to be open with the intention of thinking about a particular subject. So you got that first one is, something happens. I just stopped before you react. Have a little field book in your pocket or something like that, or just a piece of paper, scrap of paper, just notes. But ten minutes to think about something more specific. So you're getting close to that puzzly book type thing, because that's the next one. I think sometimes it's. I love. Let's Talk about Me. I. I love sitting there for about 30 minutes with a puzzle book. And it's not every day. I don't do it every day. Do it at least once a week. I think, on things I find that are important to me. They haven't got urgent yet, but they are important. And I might sit down for 30 minutes might be less, but the mere fact I get that puzzle book out again and says it fires my unconscious mind because I have an intention. And you see, when you think about that 30 minutes, that's nothing compared to that bloody time that you waste on that social media, on gossip, on just simply doom scrolling all that stuff. And the thing is when you're not wasting that time and you're doing, it's just an investment in you and it's such a small investment that has such a high return, the return on your investment, the RII return on investment, I think that's what it was in business, is so high that you can't help but being more successful. And with that success comes, I want to say happiness, but it comes with maybe a calmness, maybe it comes with a little bit of peace of mind, maybe it comes with awareness, maybe it comes with conviction, maybe it comes with an expectation because you know what you're doing, you get from that, you get confidence. And when you do this, and here's a kicker, your unconscious mind can start to think, hey, this is a safer way to be because we are creating a world, a life for ourselves with less stress. We're dealing with stress before it becomes stressful, we're dealing with anxiety before it become anxious. We're planning our success, you and I are then planning our, our success and mitigating, I'm going to say failure, but mitigating where our results aren't what we want or what, what may come and blindside us or may come along. We can mitigate that as best we can. And therefore again we get more confident because we know what we're intending to happen and we know how we can, you know, mitigate things that aren't quite, may happen the other way. And again we've got it covered. And your unconscious mind goes, this is a great place to be. And it only took 30 minutes and we weren't going down the route of doom scrolling gossiping. That's great to have, great to communicate. But now think when you've got yourself in control as much as control is, but when you feel great about yourself and you feel like you've got purpose and you feel like you've got everything in hand, those conversations you have with other people are so, so much more richer. So I've got a challenge for you. Get yourself a bloody puzzle book. Now am I going to get those excuses? I don't know So I've got a challenge for you. Get yourself a bloody puzzle book. Now am I going to get those excuses? I don't know where to get one. you talk about a field book. What's a field, A Field book is just a small, little thin book. Have a look on places like Amazon or ebay or whatever, they're cheap. Or you can get a larger book and call it a puzzle book. How much are they then? They're peanuts. A few dollars, few pounds. When I say a few. One, two or three. You don't have to go mad because it's a plain book or, you know, I nearly swore. But just get a piece of paper, you know, print some out the copy machine, anything, piece of paper. Get a pen, pencil, whatever you bloody like. And I want you in your diary. Oh, I haven't got a diary. Well, get a bloody diary page, a day diary, that's all you need. I have one with times on it, so I can really block it out. But I want you to block out some five minutes and some 10 minutes for thinking time daily, every day, at least a, ah, five minute, or I would suggest a ten minute, because once you get into it, you'll want to spend longer than five minutes. But 10 minutes is something where you go, well, I can put 10 minutes aside because I'm going to have my cup of coffee, I want to just sit down the first thing in the morning. Sometime in the day, lunchtime, my break time, anytime on my commute, unless you're driving, of course. And, block it in your bloody diary. So before you start the week, you know roughly what you're going to be doing most days. So block it down. You can move them around a little bit, but once they're blocked in, you have to do it. And, block in 1:30 minutes time for yourself. Time to create success, time to think. Time to really get deeper into a specific issue, a specific thing, a project that you want to just solve, resolve, get better at, maybe learn it. Because they don't have to be all issues, do they? Things that you... /episode/index/show/personaldevelomentunplugged/id/33665577

FMQ 470 Who'll Remember You 11/13/2024

FMQ 470 Who'll Remember You Who'll Remember You No One! The sad fact is a few years after we've left this mortal life very few will remember us and in a couple of generations most will not know who you were and what you did. So in this 5-minute muse let's get positive and make the most of our lives for us and those around us NOW. If you're going to create a legacy create it in the present. This may be a short episode but I do believe it carries an important message. No more excuses - Let's live Please share so others can be reminded and the video link to this this recording: Shine brightly Paul Please remember you can leave a comment or email me with questions, requests and feedback. If you have enjoyed this or any other episode please share and subscribe. Just email me If you want to subscribe to the podcast (I know you do) Remember for my specially designed programs for developing Supreme Inner Confidence, Free Your Life of Anxiety and specialize Hypnosis tracks go to If you want to access my FREE HYPNOSIS tracks go to Follow and inter-react on twitter @pcloughie I’m a therapist but not your therapist The information with this website or online work, techniques and exercises provided within these free and paid products are for educational purposes only. Do not use the techniques or exercises contained within some of these free or paid products whilst driving or operating machinery, or if you suffer from epilepsy, clinical depression or any other nervous or psychiatric conditions. The information provided is not a substitute for proper medical advice. If in doubt, please consult your doctor or licensed medical practitioner. Any decision you make having received any of Paul Clough's free or paid products are your own and you remain wholly responsible for any decisions and actions you take. Why not look for me and the podcast on AND the app Castbox I'm also in YouTube - copy n paste UC3BlpN4voq8aAN7ePsIMt2Q into search bar The Libsyn podcast page http://personaldevelomentunplugged.libsyn.com tunein, learnoutloud, Google Play Music Music by from , Music by from , Music by from , >, Music by from , Music by from , Personal development [self improvement] [self development] [NLP] [Hypnosis] /episode/index/show/personaldevelomentunplugged/id/33665597

#417 How To Be A Hero 11/09/2024

#417 How To Be A Hero Be Your Own Hero – A Journey to Self-Discovery Unplugging Personal Development, Finding the Real You Hey there, Cloughie here! In today’s episode of *Personal Development Unplugged*, we’re breaking free from the usual self-improvement treadmill to explore something more authentic. Have you ever felt lost in the quest to become "the best version of yourself"? I have. That’s why I’m here to propose a new direction: instead of chasing perfection, let’s learn to **be our own hero**. The Gym Epiphany In a rare quiet moment at the gym, I had a realization that hit me like a ton of bricks. Being your own hero isn’t about comparison or constant improvement; it’s about identifying and embodying the unique qualities that *truly matter* to you. So, grab a pen and your "puzzle book" because we’re diving deep into this together. Questions to Kickstart Your Journey We’re getting hands-on with some powerful questions to help you craft your personal hero. Here’s what to ask yourself: - What does my hero stand for? - What values do they hold, and what kind of life do they live? - How do they show up in service to others? - What dreams fuel their journey? aren’t just “feel-good” questions; they’re tools to uncover what really drives you and align with your own unique potential. This Episode is for YOU if: - You’re tired of feeling pressured to be the “best” version of yourself - You want to reconnect with a sense of purpose that feels real - You’re ready to visualize and live out the values that make you feel most alive Your Journey Starts Here By the end of our time together, I hope you’ll walk away with a clearer picture of your hero and a renewed commitment to live in alignment with that vision—one small, powerful step at a time. Listen, Share, Shine So if this episode inspires you, please share it. Let’s create a ripple of people who are ready to live with purpose and shine brightly as their own heroes. Catch the episode at: Shine brightly, Paul Clough Please remember you can leave a comment or email me with questions, requests and feedback. If you have enjoyed this or any other episode please share and subscribe. Just email me If you want to subscribe to the podcast (I know you do) Remember for my specially designed programs for developing Supreme Inner Confidence, Free Your Life of Anxiety and specialize Hypnosis tracks go to If you want to access my FREE HYPNOSIS tracks go to Follow and inter-react on twitter @pcloughie I’m a therapist but not your therapist The information with this website or online work, techniques and exercises provided within these free and paid products are for educational purposes only. Do not use the techniques or exercises contained within some of these free or paid products whilst driving or operating machinery, or if you suffer from epilepsy, clinical depression or any other nervous or psychiatric conditions. The information provided is not a substitute for proper medical advice. If in doubt, please consult your doctor or licensed medical practitioner. Any decision you make having received any of Paul Clough's free or paid products are your own and you remain wholly responsible for any decisions and actions you take. Why not look for me and the podcast on AND the app Castbox I'm also in YouTube - copy n paste UC3BlpN4voq8aAN7ePsIMt2Q into search bar The Libsyn podcast page http://personaldevelomentunplugged.libsyn.com tunein, learnoutloud, Google Play Music Music by from , Music by from , Music by from , >, Music by from , Music by from , And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism Hey, in all these, bits of self development, self improvement and going to make the best version of yourself and all that. Constant never end improvement. My question is towards what and how and who? So I've delved into that in a special way. I think you find it interesting Hey, friend, I need your help. I need your help because. Are you puzzled as I am? Because I'm puzzled and I'm puzzled about bloody personal development, which is quite strange because I've been in that type of genre for bloody years. You know, helping people with hypnotherapy, hypnosis, timeline therapy, nlp. All about developing ourselves and to what end. So what is the direction of personal development? It's a lovely term, personal development, self development. But what we get these things. There's a lovely thing called Can I. Constant and, never ending improvement. Again, great thing. The actual concept of constant and never ending improvement is good, but to me it's slightly overwhelming. everyday constant, never ending improvement. Something I'd like to do, but I'm m confused. And then there's that one thing. Can we do 1% better each time we do it or 1% every day? Which is a bit like constant and never ending improvement, but you know, sounds good because they do. They're all like these wonderful memes. And I hate memes, by the way. Well, most of them. It just sounds good, you know, striving to be better. sounds m good too, doesn't it? Yeah. I'm in personal development because I want to be. I want to be better. What a generalization that is. I just want to be better, you see. Towards what? What we. Where are we heading in our personal development M why are we doing this? You know, where are we? What is the target? what is the aim? Towards what? Constant never ending improvement. Towards what? 1% more towards what? Striving to be better towards what? And that's why I'm getting confused. And I shouldn't be. I shouldn't be because this is part of my life sharing these type of things. And so this is why I'm opening up to you. Because I'm a little bit lost. Well, I was. I think. I think I was lost. You see, this thing just puzzled me, you know, what is the best version of ourselves? Because that's what I've been talking about as well. The aim is to become the best version of ourselves. But again, how general is that? The best version. What does it mean? What do you think of when you do that? I get a very fuzzy picture of myself sometimes. And it's the same bloody picture. Sometimes it's over and over again. Bit like the act of gratitude, you know, you can do it really well, but sometimes it's just by rote, isn't it? Same things. And when I think of that best version of myself, or a little while ago, it didn't inspire me anymore. And that was sad because this is my life. It's your life, isn't it? Are you confused? But I want you to help me. Well, help me as I just go through this. You see, a little while ago, not too long ago, I had an aha, moment again. I was in the bloody gym then. I was. It always seems to happen when I'm on that bloody walking machine. So I'm gonna go in there more often, I think. There I was walking away and I was listening to a podcast which included David Goggins. I love David Goggins. He's a bit way out there, but inspirational. And he swears a lot, which is, no mad, no bad thing, I don't think, anyway. And to his credit, I think, you know, don't be like me, don't be like me if you want, be inspired to think a little bit like me. But he did inspire me to think because he said this one. Well, how many? One, two, three, four words. Four words. And it was lost in a sentence because they carried on talking, but to me, suddenly, boom, it was there. Four words. Dramatic pause. What were those four? Be your own hero is what I'm looking for in life I'll tell you what those four words were. Be your own hero. I thought, fuck, yeah, that. That's what I'm looking for, be my own hero. Because I can. Well, it gives me something to work on, to flesh out, doesn't it? And what a way to live. Striving to be your own hero. Imagine if you were living your life as your own hero And before we go into that, just imagine, just for a moment, without visualizing anything at all, just think if you were living your life as your own hero, what'd it feel like? And to me, it gave me such a buzz. If I could only live like my own hero, that would be it. Now I've got something to strive for, because that is the best version of myself. That is what I would try to improve every day. Constant, never end improvement. To be that hero. If I only improve 1% a day to become my own hero, it would be there. If I just strived to be closer, not better, but to be closer to that version of My own hero. What a way to live. That's what I think. To me anyway. What do you think? Take a moment now just to think. If I was to be my own hero, living my life. Wow. Because that would be it, wouldn't it? But let's dive a little bit deeper. well, I did, you see. I did. I did with the help of my son's mastermind group because I asked them to help me to contribute to flesh it out, as it were. Now let's see if we can might even put this into a process. Later on I might put it into a hypnosis track, See where we go with that. But first of all, let's just think. And I got my puzzle book out for this by the way. Think about it. That's my puzzle book. I do, I can, I can sell the puzzle books to you. In fact, they are available in every good bookshop because they're just a plain, plain paper. You can get them lined, you can get them with little dots on what look like squares. But I love plain paper because it gives me the freedom. Or you can have, it's a piece of paper, it doesn't matter. But I use my puzzle book. And in the middle of my puzzle book, right in the middle, I open the, open up two pages so I've got the whole like all of it. And in the middle I put be your own hero. I thought, yeah, that's pretty good. But then I put after it, aspire to be your own hero. Cloughie. And I drew a little smiley face with a, with a halo over the top. I don't know why it made me laugh, but I, I started asking myself questions to flesh this out. And I want you to think if you could, which maybe helped me inspire myself to flesh it out, ask these questions. And I started to get some answers and answer the questions and I maybe just fill in some of the things I got which may get you consciously and unconsciously, because I want your unconscious mind to think about this. Because if you think about it unconsciously, if you're living your life as your superhero, you are living the best life you are the healthiest you have, or you're dealing with any stress and problems you're dealing with them. Therefore you're in the safest possible world of your own, which is where your unconscious you, the unconscious mind want them to be. Isn't it talking to your best friend now. So anyway, I'll come back to that. Yeah. What are your highest values? What would your superhero stand for So what is your best. So what would your hero Stand for what is. Stand for who? What would they stand for? Your best hero. You see, I wrote down fairness. if there is such a thing as fairness in an unfair world, because the world is unfair. And that's another. Another topic. But fairness, as best they could. But that was the first thing that came to mind, just to be fair, treating people with fairness. That's what my superhero would do. Superhero now, by the way. And what wouldn't your hero stand for? What wouldn't they accept? And for me, it jumped out and I was a bit harsh because I said, liars. I won't accept lies. People who don't tell the truth. My superhero wouldn't accept selfishness or rudeness or any of that. Just not acceptable. And that just got me to think, that's a. There's some stuff in there. Maybe I'll flesh that out again. But maybe you could think, what would your superhero not. Not accept? And what would they stand for? Firm. You, see in there, there's a set of values in there. So what is. Or what are is better word, the values of your superhero, the ones you despire to be. You see, I thought of mine. What are my highest values? And I've had these since I found them, basically when I did, a values exercise way, way, way back into a distant age. And it was always trusted honesty. And I wrote those down and ticked them again because I can't think of anything higher for me. So my hero, my superheroes, would have in his heart, trust and honesty. And then there was a side. Listening before talking. I don't know where that came from. That just slipped in. And, I know I have been thinking about that for a long time. In fact, there's. I think I've either have done or will do an episode on that. How to be heard. That's what it's called, how to be heard. In fact, I think that was the last one bit short because it muddled up in episodes in my head. But hey, listening before talking. What would your superhero, your hero, believe in Now, what would your superhero, your hero, believe in? What would their beliefs be? And I thought about this, and again, what I did was I wrote these questions down and then I came back to them because I wanted them to, I hoped, come from not my. Just my conscious mind, but from my unconscious mind and let my conscious mind, like, decipher what I was thinking inside. And the same type of beliefs that I try to have as best I can, I know they're right. Sometimes they get a little bit. They're bent or pushed against, but I'VE got this. I'm okay now. They're so subtle to me. They just give me that inner strength. I'm okay. And then I thought, well, that's fine, but is there anything else below that? And the belief I got was everyone can change if they want to. That just means leaving the door open, doesn't it? And I thought, well, that's again, come from all my work with therapy. People want to change. We can find a way because I've got this. And it just made sense to me. But what beliefs would your hero have? What would they have at their core along with those values? Because values and beliefs at identity level are, ah, so powerful. They're what set our direction. I think they're what, you know, inspire us, even though we don't know. Sometimes they could say below the surface. But this is like bringing them out into our conscious awareness. And we can go, yeah, yeah. And, I thought, keep going with this. Who does my hero look up to? Who does your hero look up to? And, I didn't have a person in mind. Nothing came up. But then I thought, well, anyone showing kindness, because that leaves it so open to looking for people who show kindness. And again, looking for anyone who is showing up to stand up and be prepared to stand up for what's right. And that's a little bit like the very beginning, isn't it? What would your hero stand for? And, not accept? And then this one that hit me a little bit, little bit in me. Well, a lot of it is in me. It's all me, isn't it? It's all about me. But this is all about you too. But the one thing that came along and then just like, knocked me between the eyes was someone who can say sorry when it's needed, when it's proper, when it's, when it's, when it's the right thing to do. Because I know I don't, I don't do that, don't do it always. I have to force myself sometimes. And I don't know why. And that's something I'll have to be working on. Maybe that's too much information, you know. And, I got a lot of stuff. I got a lot of stuff. Everyone's got stuff. I got good stuff to share and I got some stuff inside still to work on. Everyone's got stuff to work on. But again, if my superhero, and if I could aspire to be that, then I will be saying sorry if I need to, if it's needed. Because it can't be right all the time. Oh, we always want to make a mistake about loads, isn't it? and then I thought of this. What dreams does my hero have? Have a think now. What? What do you think? Your hero? If you could aspire to be that person, what dreams would they have? Because you sometimes think, well, maybe that hero would have everything. But no, they still have dreams. But, wow, what dreams would they be? Because they're coming from a foundation of absolute wonder. I haven't got an answer for this yet because I'm still dreaming to be my hero, and I find it hard to get hold of that. But they'll come. It'll come. I'll come back to this puzzle book. Look out, look at this. And suddenly I'll know I'll get the answer, because that's the whole. This is an aside now. this is a great thing about having things like a puzzle book and writing that sucker down. Because I did at least two to three efforts on this. First of all, I just wrote out one or two questions with that central theme, and then I began to flesh it out. Then I got a few more questions, and I know I'll flesh it out even more because it's a work in progress, isn't it? You know, I'm a work in progress. You're a bloody work in progress. We're all nearly swore. We're all work in progress, aren't we? I did swear so. Because it felt good. How does your superhero provide service? What is selfless service But maybe you want to think about that. What are your dreams? And are they the dreams that your superhero still, has? And then I thought, well, I got this lovely person now. My hero, the one I strive and aspire to be. How does my hero provide service? Because I do believe we. We should be giving. And I don't like the word should, but, you know, everyone should give service to somebody, to something. Doesn't be somebody. Could be something. Could be the land, could be. Could be animals, could be anything at all. But what is selfless service? You know, it's that one where you don't expect any repayment whatsoever. It's for free with my compliments, no charge. You know, you're welcome. That's the only thing I want to be able to say, you're welcome, and do it. I made this note again. It's sopy. And I even wrote sopy in brackets with love and a smile. That's how my hero provides service. I'm not sure what. What it would be in what. What genre, what type of thing, but I just know that my Superhero would be looking to do and give your welcome with love and a smile. And to do that I, made a note. Mastering becoming a master of emotions, becoming a master of actions, becoming master of beliefs, and becoming a master of skills. Because to give selfless service, you're giving your skills. So you need to be able to access all those skills and practice accessing those skills and practicing using those skills. Because just having them is no fucking good at all. If you know a lot but don't use it, what's the point of knowing it? That's just ego driven, isn't it? But if you can do what you know and know what you do and get and put it into the form of selfless service where you're welcome, he said with love and a smile, that's my hero. That's what I want to strive to be. And then, I put, how does a hero, my hero behave in the world? Because we have values, we have beliefs, we have skills. But it also ends up as a behavior, doesn't it? Everything is a behavior. And I've got. It's quite strange with integrity. But again, what does integrity mean? I got an idea, obviously, but then I wrote softly with inner pride and in capital letters, the last bit with the heart of a warrior and the warriors written in capital letters uppercase. Because if you can have inner pride, act and behave like a warrior inside with integrity and with everything else I've put together, I thought I've got the makings. I've got a recipe of a real hero that I can strive to be because it inspires me. And I wonder what yours does. How would your hero behave in the world? Here's the thing that I know that you see all these things and the more I'm going to flesh it out and the more you're going to flesh it out are, inside you anyway. Already you have all of these wonderful skills, traits, whatever you want to call it, they're in there because they would if you, you couldn't be able to bring them out on paper to think about them if they weren't in there... /episode/index/show/personaldevelomentunplugged/id/33665567

FMQ 469 What Are You Putting Off Achieving 11/06/2024

FMQ 469 What Are You Putting Off Achieving What Are You Putting Off? Achieving NOW A 5 minute muse that just might change the way you think. What do you really want in your life that you are putting off - achieving? Because we do, we are - putting off those things we want ad it's not a nice thought because we've put it off. But if you ask this question you might just begin to start the one thing that would make the difference. What's the QUESTION? Well you have to listen because it's a podcast And when you have share with at least on other so they get to be on their way to making the life the deserve and dream of: And the video of this is here: Shine brightly Paul Please remember you can leave a comment or email me with questions, requests and feedback. If you have enjoyed this or any other episode please share and subscribe. Just email me If you want to subscribe to the podcast (I know you do) Remember for my specially designed programs for developing Supreme Inner Confidence, Free Your Life of Anxiety and specialize Hypnosis tracks go to If you want to access my FREE HYPNOSIS tracks go to Follow and inter-react on twitter @pcloughie I’m a therapist but not your therapist The information with this website or online work, techniques and exercises provided within these free and paid products are for educational purposes only. Do not use the techniques or exercises contained within some of these free or paid products whilst driving or operating machinery, or if you suffer from epilepsy, clinical depression or any other nervous or psychiatric conditions. The information provided is not a substitute for proper medical advice. If in doubt, please consult your doctor or licensed medical practitioner. Any decision you make having received any of Paul Clough's free or paid products are your own and you remain wholly responsible for any decisions and actions you take. Why not look for me and the podcast on AND the app Castbox I'm also in YouTube - copy n paste UC3BlpN4voq8aAN7ePsIMt2Q into search bar The Libsyn podcast page http://personaldevelomentunplugged.libsyn.com tunein, learnoutloud, Google Play Music Music by from , Music by from , Music by from , >, Music by from , Music by from , Personal development [self improvement] [self development] [NLP] [Hypnosis] /episode/index/show/personaldevelomentunplugged/id/33665562

#416 How To Be Heard When No-one's Listening 11/02/2024

#416 How To Be Heard When No-one's Listening How To Be Heard When No-one's Listening Listen to Be Heard: Transforming Conversations & Connections Hey, do you ever feel like you're just *not being heard*? It’s that feeling that no matter how much you try to express yourself, it just doesn’t seem to land. It’s something we all face, because, deep down, we all crave that feeling of being listened to and understood. But here’s the secret: it’s not really about how loudly we speak; it’s about how deeply we listen—starting with listening to ourselves. In today’s episode, we’re peeling back the layers on the art of communication and discovering how you can finally be heard by others in a way that resonates. I’ll be sharing some personal insights and real-life moments that taught me just how powerful true listening can be. And we’ll be looking at some of the biggest hurdles that get in our way—like that pesky inner voice that tells us we’re not worth it, or that whispers doubt when we try to connect. But here’s the thing: *we can change that.* Here’s what we’ll be diving into today: 1. **The Real Barrier to Being Heard: Your Own Inner Voice.** Sometimes, the biggest obstacle to being heard isn’t the person in front of us but the voice in our own head. I’ll walk you through some of the ways I’ve learned to quiet this inner chatter, and how you can start asking yourself better questions to shift your perspective. 2. **The Power of Questions in Communication.** Have you ever thought about how you phrase the questions in your mind? Not just questions to others, but the ones you ask yourself. We’ll explore how asking the right questions can instantly improve how you connect with people, making them more receptive and engaged in the conversation . 3. **How Listening Is the Key to Being Heard.** Yep, you heard it right! The art of listening can make others listen to you, too. When you practice becoming an attentive listener, it opens the door for more meaningful exchanges—and in a way, they can’t help but want to listen to you in return. **What You’ll Walk Away With:** - **Practical Steps for Better Communication.** I’ll give you the tools to ask yourself the right questions, so you can engage others without the strain of feeling unheard. - **The Role of Self-Reflection and Visualization.** By pausing to reflect on what you need out of a conversation and envisioning that outcome, you’ll start noticing your words resonate more. - **How Vulnerability and Genuine Curiosity Create Stronger Connections.** It’s amazing how, when you show a real interest in others, those walls between you start to fall, building the foundation for truly rich relationships. By the end of this episode, you’ll have a toolkit to not only be heard but to hear others in a way that’s deeply enriching. It’s all about stepping out of your own way, letting go of those old barriers, and embracing a fresh, straightforward approach to communication. Ready to transform the way you connect with others? Let’s dive in. Link to share, please pay it forward Shine brightly, Paul *P.S. Remember, I’d love to hear from you! Drop a comment or email me with your thoughts, questions, or feedback at . And if this episode resonates, please share it with others and subscribe to stay connected.* If you want to subscribe to the podcast (I know you do) Remember for my specially designed programs for developing Supreme Inner Confidence, Free Your Life of Anxiety and specialize Hypnosis tracks go to If you want to access my FREE HYPNOSIS tracks go to Follow and inter-react on twitter @pcloughie I’m a therapist but not your therapist The information with this website or online work, techniques and exercises provided within these free and paid products are for educational purposes only. Do not use the techniques or exercises contained within some of these free or paid products whilst driving or operating machinery, or if you suffer from epilepsy, clinical depression or any other nervous or psychiatric conditions. The information provided is not a substitute for proper medical advice. If in doubt, please consult your doctor or licensed medical practitioner. Any decision you make having received any of Paul Clough's free or paid products are your own and you remain wholly responsible for any decisions and actions you take. Why not look for me and the podcast on AND the app Castbox I'm also in YouTube - copy n paste UC3BlpN4voq8aAN7ePsIMt2Q into search bar The Libsyn podcast page http://personaldevelomentunplugged.libsyn.com tunein, learnoutloud, Google Play Music Music by from , Music by from , Music by from , >, Music by from , Music by from , And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism Do you ever feel that you're not being listened to Do you ever feel that you're not listened to, that you're not being heard? And we all want to be heard, don't we? We all want to be listened to. Well, I've got some examples of what happens, and I've got some answers of how we can be heard, how we can be. How we can be listened, and how we can use it to become the best version of ourselves. Okay, that's of interest. Take a listen. T his is Personal Development Unplugged, with Paul Clough. In simplicity, there is genius. In simplicity, there is genius. Just want you to know this. The answers are always hiding in plain sight. And this is for me. Well, sort of the intention of this episode is to remind me to do something, to get out of my own way. M. Maybe. And I think, well, let me. Let me do this. Let me do this. Have you heard. Have these words ever come from your lips? You just don't get it. Are you listening to me? Are you actually listening to me? What is it about it? What don't you understand? What? Why? How many times does that get said? You know, have you said it? How have you said it? I don't know. Or is it just me? It can't just be me, can it? Is this episode just about the things that. Well, maybe, you see, maybe this is all about me. This is me sharing my personal stuff all the time. Now, I've decided to try to go that way more because I think what one person experiences, so many other people do too. So if, as I go through this, maybe it'll just resonate a little deeper with you. And then when we get to the solutions, because we're always going to find solutions somewhere, maybe they'll resonate too. You see, you say that out loud. You don't get it. No, you're not. You're not listening. But then there's that bloody inner voice that we have in there where we start commenting on this. A commentary. Well, I've never. They never listen to me. Why are they never listening? Why that? Why don't they. What? Why fuck, me? No one understands me. And, why don't they. To get that. Never had that again. Or that could just be me. Maybe you don't swear. And then we get to the next bit of that. That internal voice with again, where we start to share some limiting beliefs that, we've come up with because of this. The things like, well, I must be stupid. I must be stupid. You know, no one's. You know, and it's just not worth it not worth. Not worth it. And in fact, because of that, I'm not worth it. Now, that's so general, isn't it? They're all so general. Got nothing to do with this at all, really. Because guess what? None of that is actually true, is it? Because people do listen. You're not stupid. You are worth it. So it's not true. Now, here's the problem I have, and I think it's true. When you say those sort of things to yourself, said it before, there's only one person listening to you, and that's your unconscious mind. And, by saying those things, I'm never listened to. No one understands me. I'm stupid, not worth it. It's like you're reinforcing those bloody things and your unconscious mind, your best friend, your servant, no, not a servant, likes to serve you because it's you says, oh, if that's what you really think, I'll find you some examples to make it seem even truer. And, you do, and it just perpetuates. And, this keeps going on, doesn't it? And you see, all those things are just shit questions and shit statements. Why are they shit? Well, ask yourself, how good are they working for you right now? I'll ask myself. Well, that's what I ask myself. I'm not asking you, asking me how good are they working for me. When I say things like that, even on the outside, with my outside voice or that internal voice of mine. And it's not bloody working, is it? Because, again, I'm not communicating. I'm not sharing what I know. I'm not. It's just not helping. And it gets worse, doesn't it? I talk to myself, by the way. Yeah, it gets worse because of those type of things. How do I get others to listen to me? I've got some questions This was getting to me because I wanted to be able to be listened to, to be heard. So I sat down and had a little think. I want to share with you just a couple, a couple of ways how I'm overcoming this so I can be heard, so I can share the things that I feel are important. And, maybe people will. Well, if nothing, if they don't understand it, they might understand me better. And I'm going to do it in reverse order. What does that mean? Well, these bonky, shitty statements and questions we're asking ourselves, you see, we ask better questions, don't we? That would be the way. Stop asking bonky questions and be more intentional. What do you really want? Because if I'm going to say I'm never listened to, that's not really going to get me anywhere, is it? If I'm telling myself I'm stupid or not worth it, it's not going to get me anywhere. What do I really want? What's my intention? Well, if my intentions to be heard, maybe just ask myself, how can I get better, at communicating? What a question. How can I say or ask things differently? Now you can think those and you go, oh, well, maybe I could, you know, think about what I'm going to say first. Maybe just, I don't know, maybe contemplate, pause, breathe, all that stuff. But there are better questions. And the thing is, I believe, and this is what I try to do now is I get my little old puzzle book out. Me piece of paper, me pen, and it doesn't take long. I just quietly write these type of questions down. And I'll muse and I'll think, how, how can I say things differently? What do I want to communicate? There was my intention for communicating these things communic. What was my intention for saying these things? And it's because I want to get a better connection with people. I, know that. And I really do want to get that connection. I do really want to share what I feel and what I think. Now once I get that on paper, I can now really get my unconscious mind as well to think. Because having written it down, it's like my internal voice. I'm looking at the words I write, everything goes inside. And my unconscious mind can actually start to think about it too. You know, what do I do? How could I be listened to? How can I be listened to? What can I do to be listened differently? Is it my posture? Is it my voice? Is it my. You know, there's things which are going on which are, doing things. How can I just say things differently? Maybe it's a different set of words. Maybe I've got to think about that other person. And I don't like the word make. But what would make others listen to me? So how could I maybe. How could I get others to listen to me? I've got the answers to that and it's a bit weird. So that's the second part. But I'm not there yet. I'm still on my questions. So how can I say things differently and still and, be understood better? And I know I'm not stupid. So how, if I was to imagine it, how would I want those things to be? Those, those events to be? How would I like to be there? Maybe that's part of the answer in number two in a moment. But maybe I could learn something by just thinking how I want it to be One thing. What got me was I said, I wrote down. Is what I'm saying worth it? No, the obvious answer to that as well. It's obviously worth it to me. But then I turn it on its head. What's it worth to the other person? And, why should they listen? And then to get motivation, it hit me a little bit, said, well, what would it be like? I'll say that bit more clearly. What would it be like if I was understood? If I was seen and what. And I was heard? What would that be like? What opportunities would it give me? How would my connection grow? That gives me motivation to start thinking again. You know, how can I say things differently? How can I say. Say things in a way that it would be valuable to that other person to share something. Maybe it's just to share it with me, but to say it in a way that got them to feel what I feel, that they would actually listen to me. And that's the thing about this thing about listening to me. We go back to the second part that I thought of, which was like, number one of they're not listening to me. The first part I've dealt with all the internal voices, ish. Just got to come up with the answers. But the start is to think about it, to visualize it. But how do I get people to listen? And I, ask myself the question, what about you, Cluffy? What about you? Do you really listen to others? The old two ears and one mouth came to mind. Do I really listen? Got me. Because I was more interested in me, what I had to say. To really listen to somebody is to. And, uh, when I say listen, I wasn't thinking about the other person that much, was I? I mean. And, when I say listen, and I've talked about listening before in episodes, I can't remember which ones, but there's. To really listen to somebody is to. And there's a knot in here. Not listening with half a mind of what you're going to be saying next. You're knowing what you want to say and waiting for that gap. And you effectively disregard anything they've bloody said because you haven't listened to it. You just waited for a gap in their conversation to go, but, no, but this is what it should be. Now, that's not listening, is it? You're still listening to yourself, by the way. This is not you, me. I'm still listening to myself when I do that. So it's really a matter of getting out of your way. This is one of the notes I made. Step out of your way. Because if you really want to be heard, maybe you just have to listen more clearly, more openly. So stop that talking to yourself of what you want to say and really listen. Because I thought about this, and people say. And it makes sense to me now, if you want to be heard and, listened to. Become a good listener. Not to. No, no, fuck that. Not a good listener. Become. Become a great listener. Pay attention. Pay attention with only them, that person in mind. And what happens when you do that? Well, things happen, don't they? You begin to understand that person better. You may not agree, but at least you understand where they're coming from. Maybe because of your open mind and I think even more importantly, and this is what you want for you, this is what I want for myself. They will feel understood because I want to feel understood. And if I really listen to them and they feel understood, guess what happens in that wonderful act of rapport? They will respond. They will. They, will respond by listening to you. Just like you listen to them. Oh, blimey, isn't that the thing to do? Because it's that thing when you really listen to somebody. You. You somehow get to be in their shoes. If you're really open, with no thought of your own. Just a. I want to just say to yourself, I've got time. I want to understand you. And because of that, you will then talk to them in a different way. Now, here's the thing. Just a quick one. Just come to my mind. Listen to yourself sometimes. Get out of your way. Just listen to yourself, and maybe you'll understand yourself better. You'll talk to yourself better. You'll ask better questions. Oh, there we go. Get those questions again. And when you really listen to yourself better, who are you listening to? Your conscious mind and your unconscious mind. You know, you're maybe thinking about the better questions you can ask yourself now. Because you know what your intention is, what you want. When you listen to yourself. Maybe it's that personal issue that you're going through, and you need to listen to yourself openly, not have that one thing in mind. But no, I want to listen to myself. Set myself some good questions so I can find some bloody great answers. And then I can try them on. Try them on either with visualization, but when you visualize, try, on to see what it feels like. So see what you'll see, hear what you'll hear. And feel the bloody feelings. And if it feels good, you go, this m. Is something I can work on. And then maybe you'll share it with somebody and maybe when they talk or they share themselves with you, you'll listen better and you'll learn more. It's all about learning, isn't it? And then acting upon those learnings. And, when we do that, isn't it a wonderful thing to give time to people just to listen? And maybe we just use it as a skill to start off with, just want to listen, get myself out the bloody way. You know, it's counterintuitive. If you really want to be heard, you got to listen better yourself. And then you become a better you. That's the thing. What I thought is important about this. It's not important or as important. No, get the other way around, Cloughie. It's important to be heard, but it's not as important to be a better you. And that better you. You know, in some ways, listening is like a selfless service. But you are going to get something in return. You're going to understand people better. You're going to maybe find things that you will help you as well, because you're really listening. And you go, ah, I never thought about that. Now that is interesting. I'll take that away with me. Maybe I don't agree with it in total, but there's something in there. Because you've listened, really listened. So that's it, really. Sometimes it's difficult to know what you do want in a podcast That was me talking about me, because I don't get listened to enough. It's a weird thing for someone who does a podcast, but it's always a thing. These answers are hiding in plain sight. They are for me anyway. And I just miss them sometimes. And sometimes it's just sitting down and thinking, you know, what I want, what am m I or what don't I want to start off with? Well, I don't, because sometimes it's difficult to know what you do want. So let's find out what I don't want. And then, well, if I didn't have that, what would I have instead? So I don't want to be ignored. I want to be listened to. I want to be able to share the things that are important to me. Well, to do that, I don't get a right. It's not my right to be listened to. I have to listen first. I have to give first. Because the thing is with that act of selfless service, you say it before you do it for no want of return at all. But you get dolloped on, with wonderful things in return. It's wonderful that way. And these are just little things in life. Because what's it all about, you know, when we really communicate with people, Isn't it lovely when we really understand somebody? Isn't that lovely? You know, don't, know why I keep saying, you know. But I often think, and I've had it before, maybe you have. Does this resonate with you occasionally? It's not always, but I want to do it more. When I've really listened to somebody, I've suddenly found out something really special about them that I didn't know. And I thought, wow, you surprised me. You know, they tell you what they're interested in, what their hobbies or what they've experienced in the past, you go, wow, you did that. Oh, wow. And it inspires you to do more. And all you've done is... /episode/index/show/personaldevelomentunplugged/id/33611872

FMQ 468 The Secret To Speeding Up 10/30/2024

FMQ 468 The Secret To Speeding Up The Secret To Speeding Up The secret is, as usual, hiding in plain sight and is counterintuitive. And I'll start, in this 5-minute quickie episode start with a story, a metaphor and then muse. The story is about something you would never ever do yet in real life we do it all too much with disastrous results. Results such a: Burnout Overwhelm Anxiety Loss of Confidence and so much more AND......... There is a simple solution! please press play and have a listen. It would be really nice if you would pay this forward by sharing this episode and the podcast ‎ And if you haven't already subscribe - it really makes a difference you wouldn't believe Oh! and if you want to see this being recorded Shine brightly Paul Please remember you can leave a comment or email me with questions, requests and feedback. If you have enjoyed this or any other episode please share and subscribe. Just email me If you want to subscribe to the podcast (I know you do) Remember for my specially designed programs for developing Supreme Inner Confidence, Free Your Life of Anxiety and specialize Hypnosis tracks go to If you want to access my FREE HYPNOSIS tracks go to Follow and inter-react on twitter @pcloughie I’m a therapist but not your therapist The information with this website or online work, techniques and exercises provided within these free and paid products are for educational purposes only. Do not use the techniques or exercises contained within some of these free or paid products whilst driving or operating machinery, or if you suffer from epilepsy, clinical depression or any other nervous or psychiatric conditions. The information provided is not a substitute for proper medical advice. If in doubt, please consult your doctor or licensed medical practitioner. Any decision you make having received any of Paul Clough's free or paid products are your own and you remain wholly responsible for any decisions and actions you take. Why not look for me and the podcast on AND the app Castbox I'm also in YouTube - copy n paste UC3BlpN4voq8aAN7ePsIMt2Q into search bar The Libsyn podcast page http://personaldevelomentunplugged.libsyn.com tunein, learnoutloud, Google Play Music Music by from , Music by from , Music by from , >, Music by from , Music by from , Personal development [self improvement] [self development] [NLP] [Hypnosis] /episode/index/show/personaldevelomentunplugged/id/33483692

#415 My Real Life Metaphor To See The World Clearly 10/26/2024

#415 My Real Life Metaphor To See The World Clearly My Real Life Metaphor To See The World Clearly Seeing the World More Clearly: A Journey of Self-Investment Hey, welcome! Let’s talk about clarity—what does it really mean to see the world clearly? And not just in the visual sense, but through the lens of your own personal development. In this episode, I (Paul Clough) share a personal story that might just give you that ‘aha’ moment—a story that acts as a mirror for your own journey. Let’s get into how investing in yourself can lead to clearer vision and, ultimately, a more fulfilling life. Here’s the thing: personal growth isn’t selfish. It’s not about being self-centered; it’s about being self-aware. It’s about becoming the best version of you—not just for you, but for the people around you. Imagine this: when you see the world more clearly, you’re able to show up as your true self—the real you—and that’s a gift to everyone. So, what are we diving into today? Self-investment. Yep, that can sound scary. We often avoid it because, let’s be real, the idea of change and improvement freaks us out. But that’s exactly why it’s so important! Getting over the fear of becoming your best self is like cleaning foggy glasses—you suddenly start to see the world differently, and things just… click. The ripple effect. Working on yourself isn’t just about you. It’s the most generous thing you can do for the world. When you grow, you naturally inspire others to grow too. It’s contagious. Kindness as a power tool. Think of kindness as your superpower—not just being kind to others, but being kind to yourself. When you live with kindness and push yourself toward your full potential, life takes on a whole new meaning. What are you going to learn? How to recognize and create real, dynamic changes in your life. It’s about small shifts that lead to massive transformations. The importance of regular self-reflection. It’s not enough to grow once and call it a day—this is an ongoing journey, and guess what? You can tweak, adjust, and improve along the way. Acting “as if.” Want to be more confident, more compassionate, more successful? Start acting as if you already are. You’ll be amazed at how quickly this simple mindset shift can turn into reality. This episode is about loving yourself, living kindly, and embracing continuous growth. You might just find that as you invest in yourself, the world becomes a brighter, clearer place, not just for you, but for everyone in your life. So, ready to see the world more clearly? Let’s make that happen! Shine brightly, Paul Clough P.S. Share the episode and start the ripple effect: Please remember you can leave a comment or email me with questions, requests and feedback. If you have enjoyed this or any other episode please share and subscribe. Just email me If you want to subscribe to the podcast (I know you do) Remember for my specially designed programs for developing Supreme Inner Confidence, Free Your Life of Anxiety and specialize Hypnosis tracks go to If you want to access my FREE HYPNOSIS tracks go to Follow and inter-react on twitter @pcloughie I’m a therapist but not your therapist The information with this website or online work, techniques and exercises provided within these free and paid products are for educational purposes only. Do not use the techniques or exercises contained within some of these free or paid products whilst driving or operating machinery, or if you suffer from epilepsy, clinical depression or any other nervous or psychiatric conditions. The information provided is not a substitute for proper medical advice. If in doubt, please consult your doctor or licensed medical practitioner. Any decision you make having received any of Paul Clough's free or paid products are your own and you remain wholly responsible for any decisions and actions you take. Why not look for me and the podcast on AND the app Castbox I'm also in YouTube - copy n paste UC3BlpN4voq8aAN7ePsIMt2Q into search bar The Libsyn podcast page http://personaldevelomentunplugged.libsyn.com tunein, learnoutloud, Google Play Music Music by from , Music by from , Music by from , >, Music by from , Music by from , And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism Paul Clough talks about personal development in this podcast Hey, I've got a simple, real life metaphor that really happened to me. And suddenly I found something else of how to see the world more clearly. Okay, please have a listen. Cause I think you'll enjoy it. Some time ago, I decided to change the way I see the world Hey. Some time ago, I decided to change the way that I see the world. Literally, how I see the world. You see, I had a lens. Well, both lens replacements, in my eyes. You see, before, in order to see sort of clearly, I had to wear glasses. And glasses for driving and long distance and things like that, and telly and that. But after a while, I didn't wear them so often. And, do you know what happens? Well, you just get used to the blur. It becomes normal. It becomes your normal. My normal. Well, it did became my normal. M so I decided I wanted to see a bit more clearly. I wanted to see the world clearly. So I literally had someone take out the lenses in my bloody eyes and, replace them with new ones. Yeah. And I am, not a brave little soldier, but I did it because I really wanted to see clearly. So was it expensive? Yeah, it was a little bit. It was. But it was important. So I found the money. It was important. It was important to see the world with more clarity, not just that blur where things, you know, the colors just faded into each other and the details just disappeared. Was I nervous? Yeah, I was. I told you, I'm not a brave little soldier. So was it uncomfortable? Yeah, it was a bit. It was uncomfortable. But when I think about it now, it wasn't very long. It was more uncomfortable thinking about it, I think. And then when it's done, it's gone. Did I have to do stuff? Did I have to have, like, a continuing thing? Was it just there and then? Yeah, I had to do bloody eye drops. I had to sleep with goggles on just in case I scratched myself and things like that. And did it turn out perfect? Well, not quite. Didn't turn out quite perfect. It was better. It was better. And, you see, it was only, this last week I went back because I wanted to see if I could tweak it, have one more little treatment. I had to keep working on it because I wasn't quite happy with the way I was. Was it pleasant? Well, not exactly. And then we're back to the bloody eye drops and back to the goggles. Yep, there. We're there again. So a little bit more uncomfortableness. But am I happy now? Oh yeah. Oh yeah. And when I think back, and this is what got me into this, this, this thought and this story, I invested in me, I m invested in me. And therefore, it's like a real life metaphor. And you see, I always tell my clients when they get embarrassed about working on themselves, paying for therapy, maybe they think that they should be spending their time and their money on their family not working on themselves, because that's selfish, isn't it? And I find that's the most, well, selfish thing to do, not, not to work on yourself. You see, who would the p. Who would the people that you love prefer to be around when we're talking about you? Would they prefer to be around you when you're feeling your true self? You know, when you're seeing the world more clearly. And when I say clearly in seeing, I'm talking about through the emotions and limiting beliefs and negative emotions. And those feelings, when they're gone and you're feeling good with yourself, wouldn't they prefer to be around you when you're feeling that way? Of course they would. Of course they would. But the thing is, when they're feeling good about feeling, about being around you because you feel good, what happens to you? Will you feel bloody even gooder, if that's a word, you feel even better and then they feel better. And, it's a lovely spiral of going upwards as opposed to downwards. That's the opposite, isn't it? But they just feel really good. Yeah. So, investing, you see, I, I do a lot of talking and thinking of being kinder. Talked about it quite a bit. So it's in my, it's in my mind and it's. This is about me, but I think it might resonate maybe if you just, just give it a time. Just give it a moment or two as I speak, you see, I wanted to be kinder and thinking about being kinder, using my skills to do that. Why? Why would I want to do that? Well, because I don't think I'm doing enough. I don't do it enough. I can be kind, but it's not at the forefront of my horizon, my thinking. And when I was thinking about it, I'm not happy to blindly put up with it, not living to my potential, because there is potential in being kind again. When you're kind to somebody, you feel good, they feel good. Win win. But when you feel good and you're kind, people just want more of you. I guess. What would make the most dynamic change in you and affect everything else So when we think about it, how kind of you, you know, are you living your life to your true potential? Are you? What might happen if you did? What might happen if you did live your life to your true potential? Now, I know you're here listening. So you're into this personal development malarkey where you want to get a little bit better in your life. Strive to be the best version of yourself. And, that's why I want to make it all about you, you see? It is all about you. You have to come first. The old aeroplane thing, you know, put on your. If the air masks come down, put them on you before you deal with somebody else, so you can deal with other people because you're in a better state. And that's what I said right at the beginning. When you're feeling good about yourself, maybe you still want to get better. Well, you will. But when you're feeling good about yourself, people get the best of you. They see the best of you. So it is all about investing in yourself, taking the time, because it does take time. Taking the effort, because it does take bloody effort, doesn't it? I know it's simple when we break it down like we do here, break down the complicated into simple steps. And it's pretty easy, those steps, because they're simple, they're easy. But it does take effort, doesn't it? Does take effort to see yourself clearly, not as you are now, but how you can be, how, you want to be. My son Joseph has a lovely saying. That's Joseph Clough. Search him on the Internet. He is massive. But he has this little saying. He says, what you want wants you. Yeah. Have a think about that. What you want wants you, because it does. And if you want the best for yourself, that's what's there for you. It wants you to be the best for yourself. The whole world, the whole multiverse universe wants you to be the best version of yourself. But again, you have to put yourself into number one. And it's not just kindness, is it? It's not, is it? It's a great place to start, I believe, but it's whatever change you want to make. To make. I love to say this, to make the most dynamic change in you and then affect everything else in that dynamic. Change. Love the word dynamic. It feels like there's motion, emotion in it, isn't it? What would make the most dynamic change in you and affect everything else? It's like saying, what is the one thing that if you change, that everything else would have to change too? Just have a think now. Just have a think. If you could. What would you change? for me, it was kindness. That was the thing on my horizon. To see clearly, to be kind, to see opportunities of kindness, to be kind. Maybe that's because I felt that was. Well, I did. It was not on, as I said, the highest part of my agenda. And I thought it should be, should be of a higher value to me. But this dynamic change, is it quick? Well, it could be. Could be. If you've got something that you really need to change and it's really, you know, bringing you down, maybe because it's anxiety, maybe there's fear, maybe there's guilt, maybe there's grief, maybe there's, oh, everything. But if it's affecting you, go and see a therapist. You know that talk about it so many times, go. from my experience, if you find a great master hypnotist who is a great master practitioner of NLP, who is a great master practitioner of timeline therapy, you will blow that out of the water so quickly. But you do have to make the effort, don't you? You do have to make the effort. And you know, I've got something. How to find or what to look for in a great, great therapist somewhere back in the ether of all these episodes. Just search, it, you'll find it. But working on yourself, because you don't have to be a graduate therapist, because we're always continually working on ourselves, aren't we? That's why you're here. So it takes time. And to work on yourself in that time, you could say, just look at the back catalogue of the episodes here. There's loads of them. And those hypnosis tracks, they're all there for you. Where'd you get them? Paulcloughonline.com podcast. And there's so many other great podcasts around. I'm going to do a little episode on the ones that I find so good for me, and hopefully they'll be good for you. NLP is about learning from the past, not reliving it So you have to put the effort in, you have to spend the time, you have to make that decision. And is it comfortable? Yeah, well, not always, is it? It's not always comfortable. Just like the eyes. But it doesn't have to hurt again. What do you mean? Cloughie. Because sometimes people think you have to go back into the pain again, go back into the past, into those places of bloody trauma or whatever they are, and go back and re experience them, which is a load of bollocks you can think of. It really is. You don't have to go back to the places that you thought were hurtful. To find out that they're still bloody hurtful. No, no, no, no. Not at all. My sons and I work completely different. And it's such a wonderful way. You learn from the past, not relive it. You get your unconscious mind to learn from the past and not relive it. That's what the hypnosis is about. That's what the NLP is about. It's everything I do here is about learning, not reliving. The only times you relive are the good bloody things. When you're having a fucking fantastic time and it's good for you, good for everyone else and good for planet Earth, then you do relive that part. You anchor those parts so you can fire them off in the future whenever you need them. And again, there's anchoring in. That is his hypnosis tracks bullcliffonline.com podcast just a little one. And they're all free, by the way. They're free, complimentary. You don't even have to put anything down, just your name and an email, because it's all about unconscious learning. And when you get the unconscious learning, sometimes you get the conscious learning. And when you do that thinking, that puzzle book thinking, yeah, you get some conscious learning as well. But you're directing your unconscious mind to learn. And you see, the learning frees us from the negative emotions and the negative limiting beliefs because they're only there because we haven't learned. We only have anxieties and fears and things like that because our, unconscious mind is still using those emotions because we haven't learned the lessons from those past experiences. So once the unconscious mind learns what it needs to know, and it can let go of those negative emotions, let go of those limiting beliefs, because they no longer serve you because you have the learnings, it's the whole basis of timeline therapy, which is a beautiful, beautiful process. Thanks to Tad James for that. Bless him. He's up in heaven now. But what a process he developed there. When you're developing yourself, you have to have regular checkups So going back to like, that metaphor of the eyes, you have to have regular checkups. But when you're developing yourself, isn't that like reviewing how far you've come, what needs to be refined? I. What needs to be tweaked? Maybe you discover something else that needs a little bit of work. Because as you move through, I'm not going to call it, a comfort zone, your familiar zone, because that's what it all it is. As you go through that imaginary boundary, you come to things, you go, oh, oh, I didn't that's giving me just a little bit of concern, or maybe I just thinking I'm bit of an imposter here and all that crap. So you just do some tweaking. But when you review, you go, hang on a minute. I have come so far. I have learned so much. I ain't an imposter. I deserve to be here. And you learn anyway. You've got to be kind to yourself first before you can love others Back to that kindness. Back to that thing about kindness. I like the theme of kindness here. You see, when we work on ourselves, we work with our self development, our, personal development, whatever you want to call it, is. We want to work with kindness, don't we? Be kind to ourselves, for God's sake. You know, going to get soppy now, but, you know, you got to love yourself first before you can love others. You've got to be kind to yourself first before you can be kind to others. Because if not, you're not in alignment, you're not congruent. That's a lovely word as well, congruent. But you're not living your true self. You can't try to love others. You cannot try to be kind to others. You cannot whatever you want to be if you're not being it yourself, truly. So you have to live the way you want to be, don't you? Live the way you want to be. How do you do that? Act as if. So if you act as if, for example, you're being kind and looking. and to do that, you'd have to look for opportunities to be kind, and then you have to act on those opportunities, and then all of a sudden, you're being kind. If you want to be confident, not over competent. So let's say competent. Act as if. How would somebody act as if. How would you act as if you had that right amount of confidence. Not overconfidence, but, the appropriate amount of confidence, how would you act? How would you breathe? How would you stand? And if you want to remember to remind yourself, get a sticky note and stick it everywhere. Act as if. And this really just starts from being kind and loving to yourself first. Yeah, soppy. I said that before. It's soppy, but it really is true. Taking time out just to be with yourself, but it's also being kind to yourself. And, loving to yourself is investing in you first. Now, this all sounds absolutely bloody wonderful, doesn't it? And, the metaphor here is to get you thinking, get your unconscious mind to go, oh, yeah. What can we do? Well, we'll probably dive in. Well, I will do some more, longer podcasts with the steps of how to be kind to yourself, how to love yourself, how to whatever, whatever, whatever. But if there's anything particular you want to know, bloody ask. Don't be bashful, don't be shy. Just ask. Email me [email protected]. and that's all you have to do. I'll get back to you personally, and then we'll divide, divide, devise a process, or I'll remember one that I've learned. So that's why I said, this is a just simple truth through a real story, seeing the world more clearly, becoming, well, maybe just thoughtful for the moment because. And the reason I'm hanging in here with this one is because I feel it's so important, because it's the foundation to build upon. What's that, Paul? Being kind of to yourself. Being loving to yourself. And, from that foundation, you can develop yourself into anything you choose. You really can. And sometimes, as I say, it won't be better roses. It might,... /episode/index/show/personaldevelomentunplugged/id/33377307

Anxiety to Confidence - The Personal Development Unplugged Podcast

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