Anxiety to Confidence - The Personal Development Unplugged Podcast
Personal Development Unplugged – Anxiety to Confidence A top 15 personal development podcast helping you let go of anxiety, low self-esteem, fears and limiting beliefs — so you can become the real you again. Hosted by Paul Clough, this podcast blends Hypnosis, NLP and simple practical processes to create real change in the way you feel, act and live. No interviews. No fluff. Just straightforward tools, mindset shifts and guided processes you can actually use. If you want to build confidence, take control of your emotions and create something meaningful in your life — you’re in the right place. 👉 It’s time to fly.
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FMQ 531 The Missing Part Of Success
05/01/2026
FMQ 531 The Missing Part Of Success
The Missing Part Of Success The Seed of Success Most People Miss We hear it all the time… “Think positive.” “Have the right mindset.” “Say your affirmations.” And yes… that’s part of it. But what if that’s only half the equation? In this Five Minute Quickie, we uncover the missing piece of success — the part hardly anyone talks about, yet it changes everything. > It’s Not Just Psychology… It’s Physiology You can have: The perfect plan The right words The strongest mindset …but if your body isn’t aligned? It won’t land. Success isn’t just in your thoughts — it’s in: The way you move The way you breathe Your tone of voice Your energy It’s how you show up Because the truth is… You can’t separate the mind and the body. They work together — always. Acting “As If” — The Real Way This isn’t about faking it till you make it. That’s… well… fake. This is about: Becoming aligned Being congruent Acting as the real you When your psychology + physiology match… That’s when things click. Same words. Different energy. Completely different results. Where This Shows Up in Your Life Career: People feel your certainty (or your doubt) Relationships: It’s not what you say — it’s how you say it Confidence: It’s embodied, not just thought about When it’s all aligned… You don’t try to be convincing You are convincing The Ripple Effect Here’s the bigger picture… When you step into this aligned way of being: You stop forcing things You become the example You inspire others — naturally No effort. No pretending. Just being. And that’s where real change spreads. What’s Next? In the Deeper Dive, we go beyond the “what”… Into the HOW How to align your psychology and physiology How to become the real you (not a fake version) Because that’s where everything changes. Ready to Go Deeper? If this sparked something in you… Subscribe so you don’t miss the deep dive Share this with someone who needs that missing piece Pay it forward — let’s create that ripple And if you want more… Visit the hypnosis tracks and resources Remember: Success isn’t just in your head It’s in your whole being Align it… and watch what happens. Please Share with a friend Shine Brightly 🌟 Paul Hey there! I’d love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at . Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review . Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit . Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to . Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure. Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on , Castbox, , YouTube, or on our . Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨ Music Credits Music by from , Music by from , Music by from , Music by from , Music by from . Music by from . Music by from . And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism Welcome, welcome to the FMQ, the seed, the seed of, in this case, the seed of success. We always have a longer podcast of diving deeper, but I want you to think of a few things. All you have to do is, well, listen for a little bit, watch for a little bit, get your mind going, and see what intuitively comes up as being the right thing to do. So, the physiology of success. I'm a winner. I'm a winner. I've got a winner's mindset. Do you know what? I say positive things over and over again. I have a positive mantra, and do you know what? It gets louder and louder and louder and louder. I've got this. I've got this. Oh, that's not the physiology of success, is it? That's the psychology of success. That's up in here, and you need it up here. Some people will say, you know, there's 10% of success is in the mind, but it's that special 10%, and they're not wrong. They're not wrong, but you can't have one without the other. You can't have a mind without the body. You can't have a body without the mind. You can't have all the things that make your mind fresh and alive without a body that's fresh and alive and acting in a particular way, and what I'm talking about is the physiology of success. If you think about it, or if you can remember the five keys to success, I talk about it loads of times. I've got it everywhere. The fifth key is acting, acting as if with a psychology and a physiology of success. The two together, you can't have one without the other. Now, knowing that you need up here, it would be silly if you didn't have everything else, wouldn't it? You see, and I'm not talking about being physically fit, but you might need it for certain things. If your goals, your dreams, and desires are one of being superbly fit, yeah, you're going to need your body. You're going to have to do all sorts of things. If you're mountain climbing or doing all that stuff, you're going to have to do that, but I'm not talking about the physically fit bit. You have to be that anyway, and if you're in personal development, you are going to want that part of your body or part of you to be as best it can be, just as you want your brain to be the best it can be, so you can be integrated, aligned, congruent, all that stuff. That's what we do, but without a physiology of success. It's the way you move, the way you breathe, where your muscles just seem to act as if you're doing what you should be doing. So, what I mean is, I guess what I mean is, if you could just think about doing something, you have it all up here, you've learnt what it's all about, but you've never actually done it, you'd have a bit of a problem, but if you can visualise it a little bit, visualise yourself and see yourself doing it, or watching somebody else do it and go, ah, I see how they move, how they balance, you're starting to get the physiology of success. You're beginning to act as if, and if you're going to succeed at anything in life, every goal, every dream, every desire, every different part of your life, when you've got it, you are acting as if you've got it, because you have, you're thinking you've got it, because you have, you're aligned, and you see, without it, without the two together, you're lost. So, you can do all the planning, you can do all the steps, but we need to get this physiology of success, acting as if, because as I say, this applies to everything. It applies to things like your career, you know, if you're trying to be a salesman, or you're giving ideas, and you're motivating people, if you act like you're depressed, and you're cunched over, and you've got nothing about you, it ain't going to happen, is it? You might have the right words, but without the right, call it, some people call it body language, but that's not it, is it? It's that, that just a communication, nonverbal communication, where your nonverbals, your body, your movement, the sound of your voice, the way you breathe, the way you look, the intensity, as well as what the words mean, that's when you get it. Relationships, you can say to somebody, I love you, I love you, oh, you mean the most to me, or you can say, yeah, I love you, yeah, you mean the most to me, don't you? Yeah, same words, same bloody words, but they're not together, you have to put them all together. So, relationships, going out with your friends, socializing, everything that you want is aligned, and this is where we're going to go, how do we get the psychology and the physiology of success? Are we going to talk about physiology, because I think, I believe not many people talk about it, they talk about how you've got to think, how, what type of words, you know, the tactics, but they don't tell you how to put it all together, because when you put it all together, and you do it properly, you're not faking it until you make it, we've talked about that so many other times, you're not faking it, it's in the bloody title, faking, and when you're the real you, and they call it the authentic you, but the real you, you're not faking it, are you? You know, because you can't fake yourself, you know you're telling little fibs if you're not fully aligned, so we've got to get that physiology of success, truly aligned, being yourself, and how are we going to do that? Well, that's in the next Deeper Dive, you see, in the next Deeper Dive, we're going to explore something I think is really fascinating, I think you'll find it fascinating, it'll be so interesting, because it's not just the what, it's how, the bit that people miss out, and what happens when you do, and when you start, you know, changing yourself back into yourself as it were, your goals, your dreams, everything you want to create in life, the good life, the brilliant life, will start to come to you naturally, and the thing is, this is what I found out after a while, it's not just about you, I used to think it was just about you, you've got to get it, but when you're in this wonderful way of being, then you create changes in other people too, because you show them what's available to them, look at him, look at her, oh man, if she can have it, if he can have it, I can do it too, you become the example of what can be done, and that's without trying, you don't try to be the example, you just are, and the ripples of change go further and wider, so if you want to come into this little Deeper Dive of knowing how to be the real you, come with me, I'll see you next time on Deeper Dive. So before you leave this unplugged mind of mine, this hypnotic mind, if you enjoyed this podcast or any of the other podcasts, please do subscribe, it helps this podcast grow and affect so many more people, and we love to leave everyone in a better place than we found them, and this will help, help the podcast, it will help you, and it will help well everyone that you know, so if you could just subscribe and share, share this podcast to everyone you blooming well know, that's the only cost, pay it forward to everyone, and when you do that, boom, we are all going to make a difference to this little old planet Earth of ours, and the people in it, but let's make a world, a good world, a nice world, okay, okay, you can now prepare to leave this unplugged mind. Warning, you are now leaving the unplugged mind of Paul Clough, it's time to fly and run Personal development [self improvement] [self development] [NLP] [Hypnosis]
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#479 What Are You Afraid Of Losing
04/24/2026
#479 What Are You Afraid Of Losing
What Are You Afraid Of Losing? Here’s a question for you… What are you afraid of losing? Not gaining… not achieving… But losing. Because here’s the thing… I’ve been doing a bit of deeper work on myself lately — you know, when life shifts a little and things you’ve always done… just don’t have that same spark anymore. And in that space… that little void… I found myself looking for something new. A new direction… a bit more passion… a bit more something. But the harder I looked… The more it seemed to disappear. Now that’s frustrating, isn’t it? And it got me thinking… What if it’s not about what I’m trying to find… But what I’m afraid of losing? Because we all do it, don’t we? We hold on to things — even emotional stuff, even old ways of being — And we don’t always know why. And maybe… just maybe… That’s what’s getting in the way of finding what we really want. So this is just a seed… A question to sit with. What are you afraid of losing? And how might that be holding you back? In the longer episode, we’re going to dive deeper into this… We’ll explore what’s really going on underneath… And more importantly… We’ll go through a process together — not just talking about it, but actually finding your answer. Because that’s where the change happens. The Next Step If this got you thinking… stay with me. Make sure you’re subscribed so you don’t miss the next episode — That’s where we do the real work. And maybe… just maybe… You’ll find something you didn’t expect. Please Share the Seed If you know someone who’s searching… Or maybe feeling a bit stuck… Share this with them. or the video Let’s get more people asking better questions. Shine Brightly 🌟 Paul Hey there! I’d love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at . Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review . Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit . Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to . Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure. Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on , Castbox, , YouTube, or on our . Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨ Music Credits Music by from , Music by from , Music by from , Music by from , Music by from . Music by from . Music by from . And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism And just let that go, just let that go for a moment. You can open your eyes again if you did close your eyes. And maybe we can think of a real life, back in the real world as we are. And notice, where does this show up for you the most? Where does this holding on, this fear of losing, show up for you? And again, recall where and what have you been trying to move toward? It's moving towards now, moving towards and that thing is holding you back. And just think, you know, it could be as simple as, you know, you want to move away from the thing that you always feel, staying in that comfort zone as it were, that familiar zone. Maybe it's this projects that you want to do, but you're just not getting there. Or is that career move you want to do? Or that relationship you want to take another step further? Or you just want to, but do you recognise any of those? I think you might just do a little bit. But you're holding onto those roles that no longer fit, aren't they? And I'm going to dive into that on a lot longer episode or another longer episode, because there's so many different things that we can talk about that. But the thing is, I want to give you a little bit of a, little bit of a push, a bit of a challenge. I want you to consider this. It's not laziness. It's not lack of motivation. That's just an excuse, by the way. It is that protection thing, isn't it? Because once we accept that and acknowledge it, and that's the work we've just done, here's the empowering bit. If it's all about protection, you can choose what to do with it. Yeah, you get to choose what you do with that protection, because this is you. This is all about you. You can choose, as we've done before, do you want to hold on? Or do you want to loosen the grip? You see, here's the thing. You're not stuck. You're not stuck one bit. You might feel stuck, but you're not stuck. You're just being careful. And the thing is, when you're just being careful, you could become curious, because that's a safe way of being, isn't it? Being careful and curious to find out new things. And when you do that, curiosity can become courageous. And when you're courageous, guess what? You are perfectly safe. And what I want you to think of is, maybe you give permission to that part of you that's been protecting you for so, so long, holding you back from fear of losing things. Just stand down for a minute. Give it permission to take a rest. It'll always be there for you if you need it, but just to take a rest. It's like a centurion or a sentry guard. Give it permission to stand at ease, at ease, because this is all about just becoming careful and curious. Nothing to lose. That's what I did. And when I did this, I found so many different things that I could look towards. And some of them, yeah, I ignored. But some of them, oh, I ignored. Oh, this is different. This is gonna make my life richer. And as soon as that part of me, the one that was holding me back, as it were, afraid of losing stuff, suddenly said, oh, this is new stuff, this is good stuff. I hope it'd be better than the other stuff, but it fits me right now. So have a think. You see, think about rippling, the ripples. The ripples of change go far and wide. You'll never know how far they go. But when you let go of what no longer serves you, because it no longer serves you, you don't just change your life. Oh, no, no, no, no, no. And your life will change immeasurably. I said before, you begin to be the example of what can be done. You become the example to show other people what's possible. Look at them. They did this, they were so good. And then they changed and they did this. I see them doing new stuff. And they're so, well, it just builds. It's infectious. And you become that wonderful example of growth. And the thing is, it's not just the example of growth to others, I can't say others, but you become the example to yourself. You suddenly understand what is possible. And then you become confidence because of your competence. Because it's careful curiosity, that's competence. You give yourself permission now to go further and find a richer world. And then it's a bit like that butterfly I talk about being on the other side of the world where it's just flapping its wings gently. But now you become the wind of change. Yeah, because it isn't just about you. As I said, it isn't just about you. No, not at all. So let me just go back over something. Let me go back over it. Think of this. What are you afraid of losing? Imagine the one that interests you from these questions. What are you afraid of losing? And is that losing real? Or simply imagined? For me, it wasn't bloody real. In fact, it was holding me back from wonderful things. What is, and then you're going back into me again, what is that fear trying to protect you from? Ask the question, what is this fear trying to protect me from? And I say, for me, it was like losing my identity. And then I found that was bullshit. Because I'm me. And the richer things I find in life to fill that void, man, I build on all my experiences. I don't let go of the experience that I've had to find something new. I build upon them. What might prove possible when I loosen the grip? And that's exactly what I did. When I loosened that grip, things just became so much clearer. That candle inside me started to, it wouldn't roar because it's a wonderful candle, but it got brighter. And the brighter it got, the better I felt, the more curious I felt, and the richer my life became. And here's, as we talk about identity, who, who would you become if you allowed the change? Or say it this way, who would I become if I allowed change? Write that one down. Sit down quietly with your G and T, your cup of water, your whatever. Sit down quietly for five minutes and just go and repeat it. Who would I become if I allowed change? That's it. And I think, well, especially when you say, I give permission to that part of me to be at ease, to protect me when I need protecting, but just notice that's a role that I don't need quite so much anymore. Not in that way. Yeah. Hopefully, hopefully that has sparked something. It's resonated with you. That's my covert, because I've told you about it, that's how it's, not covert anymore. But that's my, that's the message I wanted to bring. Give you all these different ways of, of understanding that we think we're losing stuff and we're not. So I hope that sparked something in you. And I'd love to hear about it. You know how to do that? It's the email feedback at personaldevelopmentunplugged.com. I'd love to hear everything that is sparked about you. Let me know. Please share this with as many as you can, certainly interested people, because you might be able to give them a nudge to be free, to find freedom, free to be curious, courageous, creative, and just create a rich life for themselves. Never have it, but please press that imaginary button, or in my head, but it's on your player of choice to subscribe to this. That's the only two things, pay it forward. And if this means something to you, oh dear, I can't breathe. Please press subscribe. That's all I ask. And what I wanted to, to say was, from the metaphor of who's driving your bus, because maybe you weren't quite driving it fully. Now you drive the bus. You drive the bus of your life. And I'm just here to maybe help you steer a little bit smoother. And if we get a puncture, I can come with a repair kit. There's metaphors coming out all over the place, isn't there? And just remember, if it's okay just to remember, to be reminded and re-reminded, you don't have to let go of everything, because you're going to build up on everything. And sometimes, just to reinforce it again, it's just about losing your grip, loosening your grip. And you see, you don't have to spit your dummy, throw everything out the window, just a little bit, a little bit. Because when you start doing that, well then we'll start throwing loads of stuff you don't need out and finding new stuff. Have more fun than you can stand, because my friend, from Paul, Personal Development Unplugged, the podcast, anxiety to confidence and all that stuff. Hopefully, just lighten that candle a little brighter, because it's time to fly. Enjoy. Warning. You are now leaving the unplugged mind of Paul Clough. It's time to fly now. Be brave, my friend. Personal Development Unplugged. Transcribed by . to remove this message. Personal development [self improvement] [self development] [NLP] [Hypnosis]
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FMQ530 What Are You Afraid Of Losing?
04/17/2026
FMQ530 What Are You Afraid Of Losing?
FMQ530 What Are You Afraid of Losing? (And How It’s Holding You Back) Here’s a question for you… What are you afraid of losing? Not gaining… not achieving… But losing. Because here’s the thing… I’ve been doing a bit of deeper work on myself lately — you know, when life shifts a little and things you’ve always done… just don’t have that same spark anymore. And in that space… that little void… I found myself looking for something new. A new direction… a bit more passion… a bit more something. But the harder I looked… The more it seemed to disappear. Now that’s frustrating, isn’t it? And it got me thinking… What if it’s not about what I’m trying to find… But what I’m afraid of losing? Because we all do it, don’t we? We hold on to things — even emotional stuff, even old ways of being — And we don’t always know why. And maybe… just maybe… That’s what’s getting in the way of finding what we really want. So this is just a seed… A question to sit with. What are you afraid of losing? And how might that be holding you back? In the longer episode, we’re going to dive deeper into this… We’ll explore what’s really going on underneath… And more importantly… We’ll go through a process together — not just talking about it, but actually finding your answer. Because that’s where the change happens. What's the Next Step? If this got you thinking… stay with me. Make sure you’re subscribed so you don’t miss the next episode —What's the next That’s where we do the real work. And maybe… just maybe… You’ll find something you didn’t expect. Share the Seed If you know someone who’s searching… Or maybe feeling a bit stuck… Share this with them. and have a look at the video too Let’s get more people asking better questions. Shine Brightly 🌟 Paul Hey there! I’d love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at . Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review . Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit . Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to . Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure. Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on , Castbox, , YouTube, or on our . Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨ Music Credits Music by from , Music by from , Music by from , Music by from , Music by from . Music by from . Music by from . And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism Welcome to the Personal Development Unplugged podcast with me Paul. And this is a five minute quickie. A seed, where I sow a seed or some thoughts of mine, where I want to go with a longer podcast where we can dive deeper. But instead of just diving deep into subjects, I found that was sometimes too big a jump. And I needed to think along different lines and get my thoughts to germinate. And I want to do it with you too. So I wanted to share what I'm thinking about, so you can think about it too. And then on the longer podcast, we're together walking hand in hand, as it were, diving deeper into subjects. And the subject I've been working on is, as you can see from the title, what are you afraid of losing? What are you afraid of losing? Now, I've been doing something over the last couple of months, which is, for me, a little bit unusual. I've been doing even deeper work on myself. Yeah, deeper work on myself, because things have been changing in my life. And you see, those things, I've been losing some of the things I've been doing for years. And in that void that's been created, I felt lost a little bit. I felt I hadn't got things that I was passionate about anymore. Still get hypnosis and things like that. But there are other parts of my life that just seemed to, well, they didn't have that spark anymore. The little candle inside me just started to get dimmer. And I wanted to find new interest to spark passion. And I called it, this investigation, My North Star. Yeah, I have to keep looking that way, because I never know which blooming camera I'm on. But I'm back again. But My North Star is my direction, where I want my life to be filled with more passion, more interest, more creativity, and be more worthwhile. I feel my life has been pretty worthwhile up to now, but I want to be even more, especially with this, these voids I've created. I want them to be filled with good stuff, not just boring stuff. And I hope in my little adventure of creating this for myself, and I'm getting there, there'll be things of interest I can share with you too. So if you're having trouble with finding your direction, your passions, your mission, for being in the world, your best version of yourself and why you're here, stay with me. But the thing is, I discovered something quite weird. And what the weird thing was, is the harder I bloody looked, it was like the further it disappeared. It was really frustrating, because I looked and looked and looked, I kept thinking about that stuff. I just couldn't get it, as if I wanted something. I wanted something I could hold, to have, and it disappeared. And then something happened in my mind as I was thinking around this. What am I afraid of losing? Which is weird, isn't it? Put the two together, looking for something, looking for something that's really going to be really good, really, really, really, really good. But having this fear of losing something. And it got me thinking about emotional issues. We have emotional issues, but sometimes we hold on to them, don't we? Why is that? What are we afraid of losing? There's a theme there. Then I thought to myself, what about personal development? Which is a little bit like I'm doing myself. Sometimes when we're in this lovely bit of life of personal development, we're trying to progress ourselves, get that 1% better every day and all the stuff and all the good things, you know, creating that best version of ourselves or moving towards it. It's there, we've just got to move towards it. But sometimes we falter, don't we? We plateau. And there's reasons why we plateau. But sometimes we just don't move on from that plateau. Why is that? What are we afraid of losing? That's what keeps coming to my mind. Now I thought to myself, what about goals, our dreams, our desires? Sometimes we work on them and it just happens, doesn't it? But then there are other times. And to me, sometimes they're the big things, bit like this North Star of mine. My goal, my dream, my real passionate desire to find something new in my life, to create something which is a benefit to me, the people around me, a little old planet Earth, which makes it totally ecological and fun. Why don't we achieve them sometimes? And I put it again. I think sometimes we're afraid of losing something. And it's that fear of losing is stopping us creating marvellous, magical things in our life. What are we afraid of losing? And the thing is, these are just questions, aren't they? They're just questions. But the longer podcast, I think I've got a bit of the answer. I'm not going to say I've got the total answer because there's always more answers to find. But I think when you find the answer, as I did, boom. Once I understood what I was afraid of losing, things just got big. They became clear again. And the more I looked, the more I found. So on the longer podcast, if you come with me, this is of interest to you. We're going to go deeper into what we're afraid of losing, how we can let go of that fear, understand what's happening on the inside. Find that passion, find that purpose. And guess what? There'll be at least one process in that longer podcast. I don't know what it is yet. But we're going to have at least one or two processes because I love that is part of this passion that I'm finding now. I don't just want to do talk about stuff. I hear so many people talk and they don't back it up. They don't give you the how. They don't help you through that process. They just tell you, well, this is what you're going to look for. But no, don't tell you how to look for it. Well, I'm not going to tell you how to look for it. We're going to look for it together in a process. And those answers that you find through the process, and I hope through the thoughts that we have, the deeper dive, will allow you to succeed in your life. Because that's the whole basis, really, of personal development unplugged. It's using all the skills from NLP, hypnosis, everything I've ever got, into supporting you and me, by the way. You support me in finding our dreams, creating our dreams, succeeding in our dreams, and making little old planet Earth a better place to live. And there is an end. The end is finding that real you. The real you that's going to make this life so worthwhile. And I'll have a few questions along the way that'll make you think too. And the thing is, when we find that real you, and it's a simple little statement, it will create the ripples that will go so far and wide. It will change your life. It will change the lives around you, your friends, your family. And I think you'll make a difference to little old planet Earth. Which is, I know I repeat it so many times, but if we can make one little tiny difference, like that butterfly flapping on the other side of the world, we're going to make a hurricane of change. The wind of change. So please come with me. Please come with me on that longer podcast, which will be the one that follows this. And it'll be called something like, what are you afraid of losing? But it might be called, what are you afraid of? I don't know. I ain't got there yet. This is all in the making, and that's part of this. So come with me. Please share. So other people might be of interest, or it might be of interest to you. You're interested in this stuff. Maybe have a little listen to old Cluffy here. He might have something for you. The video is a bit bonky. They're not that professional, but hopefully the audio quality is pretty good. And he's got some real interesting things that help you change. If you do that, that'd be great. Just share it along and press that. I haven't got the old things that come up on the screen. Just press the bloody subscribe button. So you don't miss the longer podcasts. And they always pop on your playing device of choice. All that stuff. When you do that, we're going to make a change together. So come with me and sit down for a spell next time. Okay. Have more fun than you can stand. And guess what? It's time to fly. So before you leave this unplugged mind of mine, this hypnotic mind, if you enjoyed this podcast or any of the other podcasts, please do subscribe. It helps this podcast grow and affect so many more people. And we love to leave everyone in a better place than we found them. And this will help help the podcast. It will help you and it will help everyone that you know. So if you could just subscribe and share, share this podcast to everyone you know, that's the only cost, pay it forward to everyone. And when you do that, boom, we are all going to make a difference to this little old planet earth of ours and the people in it. Let's make a good world, a nice world. Okay. Okay. You can now prepare to leave this unplugged mind. Warning. You are now leaving the unplugged mind of Paul Clough. It's time to fly. Be brave, my friend. Personal development unplugged. Transcribed by . Personal development [self improvement] [self development] [NLP] [Hypnosis]
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#478 The Big Why - The Ripple Effect Of Personal Development
04/10/2026
#478 The Big Why - The Ripple Effect Of Personal Development
Your Growth Serves: Find Your Why, Build Confidence & Create Meaningful Impact What if personal development wasn’t just about fixing yourself… but fulfilling something bigger? In this deeper dive from the FMQ “The Big Why – Let’s Refresh”, we move beyond goals, habits and self-improvement — and into something far more powerful: Service through growth Because when your “why” is only about you, motivation fades. But when your growth begins to serve others, everything changes. In this episode, you’ll experience a powerful process to help you: Reconnect with your deeper purpose See the ripple effect your growth creates And step into a version of you that is aligned, motivated and meaningful This isn’t about pushing yourself anymore… It’s about being pulled by purpose. What You’ll Discover Why most people lose motivation in personal development The real power behind discovering your true “why” The shift from self-improvement → self-exploration → service How your growth creates a ripple effect in every area of life Why meaning and purpose fuel consistent motivation How to move from “I have to” → “I get to” Turning your life into a hero’s adventure, not a grind The Processes Inside This Episode 🔹 Process 1 – The Ripple Effect Visualisation Experience your future self growing into your ultimate vision …and notice how that growth: Transforms your confidence, relationships, and direction Creates a ripple effect into the lives of others Installs the belief: “My growth serves” Process 2 – Clarity Through Reflection Simple but powerful questions to anchor your growth: What do I need to let go of? What do I need to learn? Who am I becoming? How will this benefit others? This is where insight turns into real change Key Takeaway Personal development isn’t something you have to do. It’s something you get to experience. And when your growth becomes about more than just you… You stop pushing You start being pulled And life becomes an adventure full of meaning Core Message “My growth serves.” Say it. Feel it. Live it. Because when you grow: You change your life You change the people around you You contribute to something bigger than you And that’s where true motivation lives. Questions To Reflect On Don’t just listen — use this. What am I ready to let go of? What do I need to learn next? Who am I becoming? What impact will my growth have on others? And most importantly: What’s my real “why”… now? Topics Explored in This Episode finding your why personal development motivation purpose and meaning in life self growth and transformation confidence and identity change mindset and success psychology overcoming procrastination personal development tools and techniques creating purpose-driven success self improvement vs self exploration Final Thought What would it be like… To walk through today And suddenly feel happy… for no reason? Maybe your unconscious mind is already working on that. And Finally please share this episode Or the video of the whole thing Shine Brightly 🌟 Paul I’d love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at . Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review . Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit . Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to . Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure. Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on , Castbox, , YouTube, or on our . Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨ Music Credits Music by from , Music by from , Music by from , Music by from , Music by from . Music by from . Music by from . And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism #478 The Big Why - The Ripple effect Of Personal Development So you're back for this deeper dive. And the big why, the big why the ripple effect of personal development is what people don't tell you. And when it works, and it does work, it affects all areas of your life. So that's why I love promoting and being part of personal development. And that's why I do personal development unplugged. You see, the question you need to ask yourself about being involved in trying to develop yourself being the best version of yourself, why are you bloody doing it? What is your why? And maybe you think, well, it's therapy. Because I've got an ism, or I've got like anxiety. I've got an inferiority complex, you know, I shouldn't be here. I got those limiting beliefs of I'm not good enough. I'm not worthy. I don't deserve this. I think I'm invisible. That's one that comes up a lot. I'm invisible, stay hidden. And they're all perfectly good reasons. And they're not excuses this time. They're reasons for you to develop yourself, to be able to let them go, find the tools within personal development, and change the way you feel. Because you're not entitled, you must have a life feeling the way you want to feel. You know, it's your choice. Your choice, nobody else's. So you can do that. I mean, if you were to get really curious, maybe you'd think, yeah, it's therapy, but I really just want to get really confident. And the thing is, no one can give you confidence because you have confidence inside you. Let's think about that for a moment. I've got the confidence inside me. Well, where the hell is it, Cluffy? Well, it comes from competence. And we're going to talk about that shortly. But you don't want to be overconfident, do you? Because that's where you create issues in your life. And sometimes overconfidence is a way of trying to get those negative beliefs reinforced. I knew I couldn't do it. I'm a failure, which is so, well, it's false. It really is. So let's just think for a little while, think of all the things you'd like to change. Because that's part of personal development. But there's other things. Let me tell you a little story. Because we like a story before we get into the deep stuff. And this is the thing about the ripples. Lovely young lady come to see me a few years ago now. And she said, well, I've got this phobia of loud noises. And I'm thinking, that's interesting. We live in a life, the neighborhood where we live is really quiet. So I said, where'd you get these loud noises? I want to know, because I don't hear them. And she said, well, they're all over the place. Where we live in the summer, there's a fireworks display every Saturday night for all the tourists. And they frighten the life out of me. Oh, I've heard those. But they're not that loud. But if they affect you, they do. And she says, if you think about it, most parties now have some type of firework display. They always have some bangers or things. And in fact, people will make and buy fireworks just to let them off in the street. Yeah, I've heard that too. And it's terrible. I can't go out. I can't go to a party just in case. I can't go out on a Saturday night because of that firework display. And it's really, really ruining, you know, what I should have. I'm a young girl, I should be able to enjoy myself. And you're dead right. She was dead right. So we did some work. And then she phoned me up because I said, you know, you got to test this stuff. There's no good doing the work and then not testing because we've got to see that it works. Maybe you have to tweak a little bit. And she phoned back and said, I went to a birthday party over the weekend. And there was lots of fireworks. They actually had a firework display. They brought one in and I was very nervous, Paul. But then there was nothing. In fact, I watched and I was really interested and curious. I hadn't seen it because they're always hidden, but they were beautiful. Yeah, the loud noises did give me a little bit. But that's what loud noises do to everybody, isn't it? But she said, here's the weird thing. And it wasn't weird to me, by the way. But when you get this, the ripples, she said at work, things have changed. I'm so confident in myself. I speak up. I share my opinions. I never used to do that. I always hid. But now when I go out socialising, I'm confident in myself. It made such a difference to my life. I didn't realise how this affected me, but I'm so pleased. And that's what it is. It's the ripples of change. You never know how far they go. And you never know in which direction. But when you do change one thing in your life, and you get a little bit more confident there, you get more confident over there. And it's proper confidence, confidence in your competence. And in this episode and episodes to follow, we're going to find your why, the real why. Because when you know the real why, you'll be pulled, you'll be motivated. And that's real. You can't stop yourself then. Because you just want to do these things. And then you will be striving to be the best version of yourself. Internal conflict gets resolved. We'll do a little bit today, we'll do it. And if you notice, we've been doing this on every longer podcast now, resolving conflicts. So go backwards and forwards through the catalogue. Come with me. And when you find that why, we'll be installing like a motivational alignment, you'll be aligned. So you won't have the negative beliefs trying to stop you doing things because it's safer doing the things you want to do when we do it in the right way. When we've got access to the right tools, resources, your unconscious mind comes with us and says, this is safer, I don't need all that negative stuff, we've learned from it. That's where the alignment comes in, conscious and unconscious alignment, learnings. And that's where you find growth. And then we'll just explore this ripple effect. Because when you start to notice where you find all the different things that are changing your life that you didn't realise, then you go, wow, do you know what, I can do whatever I like. As long as it's ecological, you know, good for me, good for the people around me and good for little old planet Earth. That's when I'm really going to be my best version. A little bit of selfless service in there, doing things for others, because that's the way, that's what happens when you really start to change with personal development. But let's have a little think, this confidence and competence. I'm very much into competence. Because when you're competent in an area of your life, you will be confident in yourself there, because you just know. It's when you're not competent, and you're just confident you can do something. You know, I could be confident, I could fly a plane, I would not come with me by the way, because I've never flown a plane. But I'm just confident. But if you're competent, and you learn things, you build upon them. Again, the ripple effect, you start learning things, because you see things in a different way. And you have curiosity. I love curiosity, because that feeds the learnings and the learning state within us. And when we learn, we grow, we strive to be the best version of ourselves. And when we do that, you know, just having confidence alone, by the way, is delusional, a delusion. Because it's nothing, it's not based on anything at all. So we don't want confidence, we want inner confidence. I have a programme called Supreme Inner Confidence, being confident in yourself. I'm not selling that. Well, I am selling it, but I'm not pushing it now. Have a look at paulcloughonline.com if you want to have a little look. There's a 30 day money back guarantee, and it only takes two weeks or 14 days, so you got plenty of time, send it back, I don't care. But it'll make a difference. But you see, when you have that confidence, it builds confidence inside you. And that allows you to stretch. And when you stretch, you grow. And when you stretch, you grow, and the ripples keep changing. They change you, they change different areas of your life. And they also change the people around you. And that growth, I guess, sometimes triggers resistance. It's a little scary, isn't it? But when we just push a little bit, just beyond our comfort zone, our familiar zone, we tend to find it wasn't that scary. We'd be putting up an invisible barrier. And now we don't need to. Because that resistance is purely an unconscious way of protecting you. Your unconscious mind saying, whoa, this might be scary. But if we can show each time that we stretch ourselves with safety, with resources, such as hypnosis, such as the processes of NLP that we do here, your unconscious mind can get the resources it needs to be able to use them to say, to keep you safe and grow. Yeah. And so if you think about it, if resistance isn't the enemy anymore, what is it protecting? Because there's no need to protect anything at all. Think of this for a moment. Think of this for a moment. If you were to identify a goal, something you want, you know, if you got that goal, what might you lose if you succeed? How can I lose something? You might say, how can I lose anything if I succeed? Well, think of this. You would leave, yeah, you'd leave it behind, but you'd lose that anxiety you had about it, that fear you had about it. You'd lose that, I don't deserve to be here belief. You'd lose, I'm not worthy. I'm not good enough belief. Because you're succeeding. And if the goal's an appropriate goal, and supported by your unconscious mind, and you do it in wonderful ways with the processes here at Personal Development Unplugged and the hypnosis here, you're just going to get better and better. And you can ask yourself, then what value is this protecting? Because if I lose things like anxiety and fear, because I'm more competent, I'm safer, because anxiety keeps you safe in a way, but it makes you feel so bloody terrible, you're not safe. So there's that clash, that complete clash, conflict, we need to find a better way. That's what we do here. So we find a higher value. What do you really want? And why is comebacks to the why? Why do you want it? Because we find a safer way, a safer value. And we can imagine it, visualise it, and then get comfortable with it. And when we're comfortable, we notice that we're working towards something, not coming away. And when you're working towards something which is really good, and is aligned with your values, aligned with your goals, aligned with your safety, it's a lovely gentle stretch. Yeah. So here's the thing, what we want to do is begin to align the future, the future with the way you want to be, with your self image, that self image that you have, the real you. So think of this for the moment. Maybe, I don't know if you want to close your eyes or not. But maybe you just begin to think, what would it be like if you brought a goal to mind? And notice that the feeling you would have getting it and got it would be that feeling of success. Not the overconfidence, because you'll have got there and feel how competent you feel. Because you've learned along the way, you've had to stretch yourself. But when your unconscious mind is protecting you, that goal becomes congruent with the ultimate vision of yourself, that real you. And when you're the real you, and you have access to all your learnings, all your experiences, that's when you can truly grow. And you can let go of emotions, negative emotions, limiting belief, but we do the work as well. We find processes to learn from those isms as they were. And when we learn from them, we can then use the learnings to achieve those goals, to stretch and get them. And when we can visualise that, see yourself successfully completing something that in the past you were a little bit hesitant. Notice when you get there, what new opportunities, feel like. Notice how it feels like you're being pulled towards a new goal, more opportunities to allow you to grow. What would that feel like? And maybe notice, just be aware of different areas of your life now changing too. Confidence is spreading, the learnings, the skill sets, your skills stacking, and being able to use different skills or skills in different areas of your life. Maybe you feel comfortable talking at work, and now you feel comfortable talking socially, expressing your ideas. Yeah. And that's just a small thing, a small thing. We can think about that. Because again, I want you to just realise the difference, the difference of having either overconfidence or maybe not really knowing your why, but knowing there's a why there, the why to develop yourself, personal development, and making it unplugged as it were. And we're slowly exploring this in a very light way. And we can do it, and I think I will, do this in a deeper hypnotic style. So we can align your why and resolving in a conflict. What would that be like? Yeah. Now, now think about it for the moment. Think. Let's think about the bigger picture. You see, most people think of personal development being a bit selfish, because all you're doing is working on yourself. But the thing is, if you've seen somebody who is anxious, nervous, you feel it, don't you? You feel it yourself. You feel anxious yourself. If someone's very negative all the time, maybe depressed, they bring you down, don't they? Whereas when you can, say, regulate your emotions, because negative emotions will always be there. But now we have the tools to deal with them or learn from them. And we're feeling, say, grounded. We're feeling our true self. It makes others feel safe too. You become the change you want to see in others. So it's the most unselfish thing to do, to work on yourself. And you see, when you get that inner competence and inner confidence, and you behave in that way, other people get confident with you. You bring them along. No longer is that tall poppy syndrome where they try to cut you down. You bring them along with you. And you see, when they see you stretch, striving to be a better version, giving selfless service, it's as if you're giving permission to the people around you to say, this is good, this is okay. And you're not doing it for ego now. No ego here. And where does that ripple effect go when you're that way? Let's think about it. When you're more confident in yourself, and you're feeling good about yourself, genuinely aligned with your goals, you have goals that you're striving for, you're achieving, what happens to your family dynamics? How you connect, how you share in your family. And these don't have to be just family members. These are people who act like family members too. Think of it at work, how your stature changes, your words change because of your inner confidence. Because you're growing, you're moving on, moving up. You're showing the world who you really are. You're not hiding,...
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FMQ529 The Big Why - Let's Refresh
04/03/2026
FMQ529 The Big Why - Let's Refresh
FMQ529 – The Big Why: Let’s Refresh Sometimes we just need to pause… and refresh. Not another technique. Not another goal. Not another productivity hack. Just a simple question: Why are you doing this personal development thing anyway? In this short FMQ episode I invite you to take a moment to review where you are on your personal development adventure. Whether you’re brand new to this work or you’ve been exploring it for years, a refresh is powerful. Looking at how far you’ve come, what you’ve learned, and where you truly want to go next. Because personal development isn’t just about fixing problems. Yes, we resolve anxiety, panic, limiting beliefs and all those other “isms”… but it’s also about learning new skills, developing competence, and becoming a better version of yourself. And here’s the difference many people miss: Confidence without competence can fall apart. But competence naturally creates confidence. The real key though is motivation. When your why is clear, you stop pushing yourself forward… and instead feel pulled toward the life you want. And that’s what this episode seeds for the longer podcast episode — discovering something most people overlook in personal development: The ripple effect. So before the next episode, take a moment to reflect: What do you want to let go of? What do you want to learn? What do you want to achieve? And most importantly… why? Bring that curiosity with you into the next episode and we’ll unlock something powerful together. Have more fun than you can stand. It’s time to fly and share But Before you do ➜ Continue the Journey In this short FMQ episode we’ve refreshed one important question: Why are you really doing personal development? But there’s something even more powerful most people never realise. When you begin changing yourself, something unexpected starts to happen… Your growth creates ripples. In the next full episode of Personal Development Unplugged we explore: • Why confidence without competence can sabotage progress • How hidden value clashes block motivation • A powerful process to align your “why” • And how your personal growth quietly influences everyone around you If you want motivation that pulls you forward instead of pushing you… Don’t miss the next episode. Shine Brightly 🌟 Paul Hey there! I’d love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at . Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review . Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit . Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to . Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure. Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on , Castbox, , YouTube, or on our . Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨ Music Credits Music by from , Music by from , Music by from , Music by from , Music by from . Music by from . Music by from . And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism FMQ529 The Big why Let's Refresh Welcome to this shorter episode because I want to sow, as usual, a seed. But it's a refresh. A refresh because I think we can all do with refreshing what we know or what we think or our aims and goals. Because it doesn't really matter whether you're a master of personal development, or been doing it a long time anyway, or brand new. It really doesn't matter because every time, even just looking at what we've done and how far we've come along, we've achieved what we've achieved, what we've done. It's great to refresh, to review. To review what we've done, what we've achieved, or review where we're going. But also just to know why are we doing this bloody thing? What are we doing it for? And there's something really, really special about personal development when you really get into it. And it's something that not a lot of people tell you about. And if you knew about it, you'd do it even more. Are you going to tell me Cloughie? Yeah, I mean indeed, but not yet. Probably on the longer podcast. Well, I know I'm going to tell you on the longer podcast. You see, some people see it as therapy. Personal development as therapy. And the longer episodes here at Personal Development Unplugged are very therapeutic. I try to include at least one process within every longer podcast. So in some ways it is a therapy. But some of those processes are for a completely different aim, have a different aim. They're for creating new skills, using new skills. I'll talk about that shortly. And you see, even the subtitle of this podcast, the Personal Development Unplugged podcast, if I could say it right, is anxiety to confidence. Because that's where I want people to be able to go. And it's anyway how close you are to confidence and being the most confident person in the world. But that's not just confidence, it's competence. It's another difference that people don't tell you. If you can be competent, then you will be confident in you. But if you just get confident about things, you could be wrong. You were confident you could do that, and you crashed and burned. And that's not a good feeling. And it's only a sort of good-ish feeling if you learn from it. But sometimes when we crash and burn, it sets us back, because we don't learn from it. And then that sets another pattern of negativity, as it were, negative beliefs. So what else? You see, some see personal development as a resolution, resolving trauma. Yeah, and it is in some ways. Then you've got all those bloody isms. Yeah, isms. You've got anxiety, you've got depression, you've got panic attacks, you've got FOMO, that being just insecure. You've got other emotions such as grief, sadness, anger. Now personal development, here anyway, is a way of letting those go. They're here for a reason, by the way. And we learn from, because then we are developing ourselves. But there's the other side of it. It's about learning new tools. Learning tools that we can develop ourselves, so we can strive to be the best person, the best edition, as it were, of ourselves, and keep going for that little bit more, that 1% more. Can I? Constant and never ending improvement. But the thing is, when you do strive for more, and you push in that boundary, you're just going and stretching and stretching. Sometimes that can bring up emotions, negative beliefs. And that's where personal development unplug comes in again. Because the more we push, sometimes we come across something and we need to resolve that. Then we have to set goals. And sometimes when we're setting our goals, we find sometimes we procrastinate. Sometimes we get to a point, I just don't know what to do. Again, personal development brings in tools to allow you to let go of procrastination, get those positive beliefs, and start to find the patterns, the strategy for success, to become the ultimate vision of yourself, which you'll never actually be by the way, because it's ultimate. We're going to keep going for it. But what we're going to do is enjoy this adventure. That's the thing other people don't tell you. It's like, it's a thing I have to do and I have to troll through it and push through it. Now you get pulled through it. Pulled through it because there's a desire to be better. And the desire to enjoy this adventure, to have fun along the way. It's not just that target, that goal in mind. No, it's every step along the way. If we can have fun every step of the way, creating changes in ourselves, what a wonderful thing. But the thing is, it comes down to one thing. What's that one thing, Cluffy? I will tell you, I will tell you. It's your why. Why do you want to improve yourself? And this could be in any genre. This could be in any area of your life. Because you may be cracking at me, you know, really doing it really well in one area of your life, but the other area, not so much. But why do you want to do it? It's when we find our why. And sometimes there's some little bits of pulling us back in that why. There's a clash of values maybe. I want to do this so much, but it means I have to neglect this so much. And I don't want to neglect that, but I really want that. Well, there's that clash of values that we come up with a process to allow you to achieve your goals. But is that why? Once we find our why, we get total motivation. And that's why I say it's like being pulled towards the goal that you want for yourself. And the thing about all of this, and again, some people do hint at this. There's one or two guys I really respect, and they are really pushing it. But a lot forget it's all about service. Because when you become the best version of yourself, you're showing other people, your friends, your colleagues, people just around you, what is possible and how much is possible. Well, that's the limit of your imagination. And no one controls that. If you can imagine it, we can find a way to get it. Unconscious mind never knows what's real or imagined. So when we can start to imagine it, limiting beliefs disappear. It becomes something that we think we've already done. And that's part of the process we use here in Personal Development Unplugged. Getting your unconscious mind to go, yeah, I can do this. I can see the benefit of it. I can see it is safe to do so. It's comfortable. Because that's where all these issues come in, by the way. There's always a degree of your unconscious mind trying to keep you safe, but holding you back from things. There's a real clash when that happens. And when we can educate the unconscious mind that it's actually better for us to find these new ways. You just, well, you change in leaps and bounds. And that's where I want to go. Because it's that one thing that people don't talk about what happens when you do. And that's what we're going to talk about at the longer podcast. Okay, so be with me, come with me in the longer podcast, the next episode. And we're going to find about ripples. Yeah, ripples. You have a little hint there. But I just want you to think over the next few days. Where am I on this little adventure of personal development? What are the things I want to let go of? What are the things I want to learn? And what are the things I want to achieve? And then when you come with that in mind and curiosity, we'll be able to do stuff. And that'll really get you into that motivated state of mind, where then the longer podcasts and future will things will all just come together. Okay, so have fun, more fun than you can stand. And I'll see you on the next longer episode to really crack this personal development lock. Okay. See you then it's time to fly. Bye bye. So before you leave this unplugged mind of mine, this hypnotic mind. If you enjoyed this podcast, or any of the other podcasts, please do subscribe. It helps this podcast grow and affect so many more people. And we love to leave everyone in a better place that we found them. And this will help help the podcast, it will help you and it will help everyone that you know. So if you could just subscribe and share, share this podcast to everyone you know, that's the only cost, pay it forward to everyone. And when you do that, boom, we are all going to make a difference to this little old planet Earth of ours, and the people in it. Let's make a good world, a nice world. Okay. Okay, you can now prepare to leave this unplugged mind. Warning, you are now leaving the unplugged mind of Paul Clough. It's time to fly. Be brave, my friend. Personal Development Unplugged Transcribed by . Personal development [self improvement] [self development] [NLP] [Hypnosis]
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#477 Don't Blame Your Parents Or Anyone Else
03/27/2026
#477 Don't Blame Your Parents Or Anyone Else
Don't Blame Your Parents Or Anyone Else . Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review . Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit . Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to . Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure. Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on , Castbox, , YouTube, or on our . Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨ Music Credits Music by from , Music by from , Music by from , Music by from , Music by from . Music by from . Music by from . And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism #477 Don't Blame Your Parents Or Anyone Else . So we're back with the longer deeper dive from the FMQ. Who or what is to blame for your failure? Do you remember that one? Remember those excuses? The excuses? Oh, it was the weather. Look, I can't do it because the weather's not right. I have to wait for the summer. I have to wait for the winter. The economics, well, you know, it's not quite right at the moment. You know? Or, well, if it wasn't for them, because they didn't accept me, they didn't support me, you know, and then we get that belief, which is, I'm not good enough. I don't belong here. It's just all excuses, isn't it? Well, we think they're reasons, don't we? We think they're reasons, bloody good reasons why we haven't succeeded. This is blame, isn't it? We're blaming somebody else or something else. Maybe we're, we're blaming, well, that trauma I experienced when I was younger. That's given me all these other isms. Because you get isms, don't you? Everyone has an ism these days. And they, I'm sure they were about a long time ago, but it didn't seem to be an excuse then. People got on. They dealt with things. They took responsibility. We'll go there later. We even blame our parents, don't we? They didn't support me. They didn't guide me. They weren't there for me. I've even got a thing that I used to blame. It was an ex-boss of mine. And he was a mentor. He was a superb guy when I was a fledgling in my first career. And he supported me. He did everything for me. Until one day. Until one day, he didn't. And he did it quite publicly. And to the point where I had to leave that company. And he didn't bat an eyelid. So I thought, anyway, so I thought, in my mind, God, why did you do that? I needed your help. I could have stayed. I could have done something if you'd have been there. So it's your fault. And I harboured that resentment. Because I lost a bit of confidence. I lost a lot of confidence. And I thought, you're to blame. I never used to be like that. Now I am. That's gone, by the way. Because I did some work. We did one of the processes, and I did promise you two. Two processes, and that's what you're going to get today, in this episode. And one of the processes is to let go of that connection with somebody. Somebody who you're blaming, or you feel is to blame. Or you use an excuse to blame. I did for a little while. And then I did this particular process we're going to do. And if I met him now, it would be cool. I'd be okay. And he'd be okay. And you see, it's all about, are we living at the effect side of life? Because it's cause and effect. And each one I've told you is an effect. We're giving what we think are reasons, and in fact, they're excuses. Now we have a real issue here. You see, one of the questions just below the conscious level is maybe the question that you don't like to answer. And what is it? Well, if I stop blaming dot dot dot dot dot, what happens to my story? You know, what happens? Because it's a story I've been telling myself for so long. And if that goes, I'll tell you. We're going to go through the answers, but I'll tell you, you're going to feel absolutely brilliant when it goes. Your story will be your true story. The real you, the empowered you, because that's where we're going. Empowerment, which seems really grand, but it is when it feels that good. So at the moment, if you feel like this, it's like it happened to me. This happened to me. It's a story I'm telling again. They did this. Another story we're telling. Because of X, I can't do that. Cause and effect. They're all causes, aren't they? And effect. But the real thing is, you're not a victim. You're not. And that's victimhood, if that's a word. We're just sitting in that victim little mentality and blaming the past, blaming the people, blaming everything. It's all because, because, because, because. And we're going to change that. There will be a shift. Now this is a covert bit, but I'm going to tell you it because it's now overt. This is a shift I want to make. I want you to be able to say, this happened to me. It did happen. Past tense. But I learnt. And I've learnt this. And this is how I'm using it. I want you to be able to say, that shaped me to the person I am now. It doesn't define me. I define me. I do that. I've got my dreams, my goals, my values. I have my positive, supportive beliefs. I define me. But I learn from the past. I learn from my experiences. I create me. I build me. And at the bottom of that is, I choose. I choose how I want to be. I choose the steps I make. I choose my opportunities. I create them. Massive shift there. But all it takes is a little, little bit of refinement. That's it. Now, we said two processes. I'm just letting that sink in just a little bit. Because consciously, you might be thinking about it. But unconsciously, that's going in. Unconsciously, it's being seen as, oh, that's so much more powerful. Oh, that's so much more safer than living on the effect, the victim side. When we take control. When we access all the resources we've got. All the learnings we've got. We become safe. Because if you think about it, every excuse you give doesn't feel safe, does it? Because just one little thing. If you're blaming other people for where you are now, you're accepting that you have to wait for them to change before you can change. That's bollocks. We acknowledge it. We acknowledge it happened. We're learning from it. It shaped me. But now I get to do this, because I've learned. So what did I do with that old boss of mine? A little process. And it worked so wonderfully well. And you can do it too. You can do it too. And you can do it with me now, because we're going to do it now. So you don't have to do this eyes closed. When I did it with him, and I also did it with a, I did this, I do it a number of times, but two examples. One, I did it with him because he was dragging me down. And I did it with a real good friend of mine. And we were in business together. And I was going to change my direction in the business. And I didn't think we could let go of each other. So we allowed, or I allowed this process to let go of him and send him on his way, safe and sound. So it can be done for, call it for the good, and letting go of the heaviness and the stuff that you want to let go. So it's a wonderful process. It's not just for the negativity or negative side of your life. It can be done for positive. It's a great process. And what I did was, now, I'll explain it first, and then we'll do it together, if it's okay. So you might want to find a place where you can be, or will be undisturbed. So you can close your eyes, you don't have to on this one, because it's just, it's like a visualisation and imagining somebody in front of you. And as you imagine them in front of you, you'll notice how you're connected. Some people see it as a beam of light. Some people see it as a little thread. Some people see it as like an umbilical cord. I see it differently for both of those. For the guy I was letting go to do his own thing and me to do my own thing, I saw quite a few different connections, like little beam of lights coming from my body to his in different places. For the other one, the one, the ex-boss, I wanted to let go of that resentment, that hurt, that blame. I just saw a little thread. I've been dragging him around. So here's what I want you to do. Find that safe place. Find that safe place where you'll be undisturbed for only about three or four minutes. If you have to wait, pause, pause this and then get into that place. But just anywhere will do. If you want to close your eyes, you can. You can do it sitting down or standing up. I didn't mind standing up because I just, for me, that's the way I like to do it. But anywhere is perfect for you. And then I want you to imagine that person standing in front of you, maybe a couple of meters away, just in front of you. And there they are. If you want, you can pass on a thanks for the good things, things that you respected. For the boss, there were things he did for me when he was my mentor and I thanked him. I had so much gratitude for the opportunity he gave me and how he taught. Similarly to my colleague, of the way we worked, the way he supported me, gave me opportunity. And I thank them both. But we're doing one person at a time. And as you do that, just imagine or bring to mind, how you see that connection with them. Is it little beams of light coming from your body to theirs? Is it a very thin, like gossamer steel thread? Maybe it's a rope, maybe it's an umbilical cord. Whatever it is, it's fine. Just imagine seeing yourself connected to you, to them and giving that thanks. You can maybe just begin to feel. If it's a negative emotion beginning to disappear, dissolve. You know, we're neutralizing that resentment and reclaiming our personal power. If it's with somebody that you're just letting go in your life and think of like a past partner, you can just thank them and then feel that personal power coming back. Just notice everything and you maybe just ask yourself, for your unconscious mind to ask itself, what did I, what can I learn from this connection to make me stronger? And one thing we could just realize, that everyone is doing the best they can with the resources they can access right now. They're not their behaviors, that's not the person. Because behind every positive, every behavior is a positive intention. They're doing the best they can for themselves with the resources that they're being able to access at the moment. Maybe they were suffering from anxiety, depression, you don't know. Maybe there was problems elsewhere that you didn't know about. They were doing the best they can, they're not their behaviors. So maybe as that slips into your unconscious mind as another resource, you can just thank them for the lessons learned. And as you do that, imagine in your hand is like a metaphorical knife, some people think of it as a sword or maybe just a pair of scissors and just cut that cord or dim those lights and turn them off and allow them to disappear into the past where they belong. That's right. Dissolving all the emotional residue. Letting it go. Knowing that in the future if you met them again you would meet them clean with this inner power, this inner strength and all the learnings. Because you'd be in charge of you. And when you've done that, take a wonderful deep breath and open your eyes and come back to me and notice how you feel. Notice how you feel. For me it was really weird. I seemed with my boss to understand what he was going through even though I didn't really know consciously. But I could imagine things I'd forgotten because that blame, that resentment was in the forefront of my mind and as soon as that peeled away, disappeared like a fog just blowing away, I could see clearly. I felt I could see clearly and that was so good. With my colleague who I was letting go to continue his business while I did a different business, this type of stuff, I felt a lightness. A lightness that it was okay. It was like giving myself permission to do the things that I wanted to do. I wasn't being held back and it was okay. It was okay. I was on another step of my adventure, my journey. I don't like the word journey but it was my adventure to a new life, a new part of my life, another step in another part, another chapter of my book as it were, my own personal book of my life. So just let that sink in and sometimes you can maybe let it go for a day or two and then just notice how you feel the next day. Just check in. When you bring that person to mind, just bring them to mind and picture in your mind and go, how do I feel now? Ah okay and then you can just let it go. So there's that one. It's a lovely little process and you can, because it's so simple and in simplicity, there's genius. If you wanted to you could spend a little longer doing it but quite honestly you don't need to. It's really just recognising, acknowledging, thanking, getting your unconscious mind to learn and then letting go. But you can replay that whenever you want and what I'll probably be doing is I'll be doing this as a separate track for my hypnosis page. So it'll be complimentary hypnosis where you can spend a bit longer and go into a deeper state if that's what you feel like. If you feel you need that deeper state and you get that deeper unconscious knowing, then I'll be doing that I think. But I'll let you know. But you don't need it if you don't need it but if you do, I think it'll be available. So there you go, that was process number one. So what's process number two Cloughie, you might say? Well, it's our parents isn't it? Sometimes we blame our parents and we blame them for the expectations we had as a child I think. That was for me. I had what I thought was the dream that I wanted to do and I didn't feel supported. I didn't feel that I was given the right advice. In fact I feel, I feel, I can't remember specifically but I felt I was told you'll never make it. It's too difficult. Don't do that. Go for the safe and the steady. Now I can understand that now. I can understand why that advice was particular to them because I've given that type of advice to my children and I'm thinking oh really Cloughie? Can I add to it now? And that's what I do. I give them two sides of the of this of what I think might be the story they they need to take and then they can develop it and they do. But sometimes you know we think of our family members that are not supporting us you know maybe we've inherited their narratives. their beliefs, their unmet expectations, because sometimes parents like to live through their children, don't they? And sometimes we take all of that on as an identity. And when you think about it, that was your parents doing the best they could with the resources they could access. They were doing the best they could with their connections to their parents, your grandparents, and even their going back and back. Where did those beliefs come from? Generations ago, they've all been just evolved a little bit, but sometimes those were different circumstances in the world. That belief supported them back then, but now it's not yours. But you took it on as a sponge. So you're responsible in some ways, even though you were a tiny little child. You took it on as a sponge because you just loved your parents. They were the only people that you would take that information from uncritically, because that's what we were when we were that young. But even as we grew older a little bit, they were doing the best they can. That was not their behaviour. Who they were as an identity level was not their behaviour. That's the bit you saw. They were always doing the best they can with a wonderful positive intention, but sometimes it wasn't right for you. So how are we going to let go of that? How are we going to let go of that? Now, you might need a tissue. I've done this a couple of times and we needed tissues, but you don't necessarily need them. It's not bad tissues. It's just tears of joy normally. Tears of joy. All we're going to do is visualise parents individually. Again, maybe there's a certain parent that you attribute a little bit more blame, unsupportiveness, wasn't there for you maybe, and you hold that at the unconscious level maybe, or you wish it was different. So pick that one. And here's what we're going to do. I want you to again, find a safe space, a place where you'll be undisturbed. And it's adding on again. Take three, four, five minutes. And again, you can do it standing, sitting, lying, you can do this one in any position you like. So all I want you to do is take a deep breath. And as you let it go, maybe allow your eyes to close because this one you can really focus in on now. Because this isn't about letting go. It's about noticing, noticing something special. So as you breathe gently and easily, you can feel yourself getting more and more comfortable. And as you become more and more comfortable with every breath, just imagine in front of you and below you, just over there, a stage, a little stage in front of you and below you. And on that stage, in a moment, we're going to have that parent come onto that stage. But not as they are now, not as they are in your mind, your memories maybe. But I want you to see them in a moment as a two year old, maybe even younger, no more than two year old, maybe a one year old, maybe as a little baby. So imagine now inviting them to come onto that stage over there below you and in front of you. As a child, an innocent child, that's who they are. Innocent, waiting to learn from the world just as you were. Waiting with all those wonderful expectations that they weren't really aware of, the whole life ahead of them, full of just love. Accepting love, giving love, pure innocence. And see that for, or see them for what they were then. Just an innocent little child, waiting to go on their adventure, to go through their experiences, to form their own beliefs, whatever they are there. They're just waiting for it to happen now. And just notice that how you feel for them now, at that age. Pure love, pure innocence. No expectations now. No blame. How can you blame an innocent child? And allow that to go deep into your unconscious mind. Because that's a memory. It isn't yours. It's theirs. But we all started this way. And in some ways, we, well, we chose our own path. Doing the best we can, with the resources available to us. Sometimes experiences were not dumped on, but had to be gone through. Because that was their past and their future. Doing the best they can, learning as best they can. Maybe they didn't have the opportunities as they grew up, as you have now, to be able to learn through processes like this. And maybe you can now feel this connection with them. The innocence, the love. And maybe just ask yourself, I wonder what I can learn from this. And how can I use that learnings in the future? To grow. To be me. To choose my life. Knowing this. Because they had their...
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FMQ528 Who or What Is To Blame For Your Failure
03/20/2026
FMQ528 Who or What Is To Blame For Your Failure
Who or What Is To Blame For Your Failure What are you blaming right now? The weather? The economy? Your lack of time? Your past? Your boss? Your parents? In this Five Minute Quickie (that’s never quite five minutes 😄), I’m planting a seed that might feel a little uncomfortable… Because blame feels justified. It feels intelligent. It feels protective. It even feels responsible sometimes. But what if it’s actually costing you your power? In this episode I begin to unpack: The hidden cost of living at the effect side of life Why excuses can feel like safety How trauma (big T or little t) can become an identity Why dragging the past forward drains your energy And how learning — not reliving — is the real shift This isn’t about dismissing your experience. It’s about transforming it. In the longer episode, we’ll go deep into: Letting go of blame (without diving back into trauma) Releasing anger, guilt, disappointment and resentment Healing the “parent story” Clearing unresolved emotional ties Moving fully to the cause side of life Because when you stop blaming… You start choosing. And when you start choosing? Everything changes. The Seed Question If nothing outside you was to blame… What would you do next? If this hits home, share it with someone who might be quietly carrying resentment or excuses around like heavy luggage. And make sure you join me for the deeper dive — because we’re not analysing the past… We’re releasing it. Subscribe, follow, and visit the free hypnosis page at personaldevelopmentunplugged.com. More fun than you can stand. Wallow in pleasure. Shine Brightly 🌟 Paul Hey there! I’d love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at . Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review . Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit . Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to . Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure. Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on , Castbox, , YouTube, or on our . Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨ Music Credits Music by from , Music by from , Music by from , Music by from , Music by from . Music by from . Music by from . And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism Welcome to the seed of a longer podcast, the FMQ, the five minute quickie that lasts even longer now, and gives you hopefully something to think about, something to ponder, digest, let it germinate and do whatever it does, so when you come to the longer podcast, boom, we can go even deeper and make some wonderful changes in our life. And this one's called, and I'm not quite sure what it's called actually, it's either Who Do You Blame? or Who or What's to Blame? You see, some people like to blame the weather for the things they can't do. Some people like to blame the economic environment. Some people like to blame, well, time, I haven't got enough time. And that's just a fact, isn't it? Living at the effect side of life. And they're all wonderful reasons, aren't they? Are they balls? They're not reasons. They're not reasons at all. They're bloody excuses. And we're going to dive deeply into that on the longer podcast. But we're also going to dive into something I think is even more important. Because everyone talks about cause and effect, living at the cause side, or living at the effect, living at the effect with all those excuses, or coming back to cause and becoming empowered. And we do that here. Because I believe in that 100%. Once you start living at the cause side of life, you take control. Everything is your responsibility. And with that comes all the glory. And the glory is just living the life you want to choose because you chose it, and you did it. But then again, what else can you blame? Well, we've all suffered trauma, haven't we? Some with a capital T, and some with a little t. I think I've maybe had a little t when I was younger, a big T in the middle. And now I don't know what the bloody hell I've got. And maybe you think you haven't had any trauma. Maybe you think you know that you've got trauma in your life, and you're still blaming it for what's happening into your life right now. And if I hadn't suffered it back then, and if those people hadn't been there back then, well, that's something we can really dive into to let go. Because it's draining. Drains all your energy dragging that crap around. But if you might think, well, actually, I don't think I've got any trauma in my life. Well, I think if that's the case, you created strategies to cope and also have the learnings from it. You've learned from it. So that trauma no longer exists in your life. It might be a distant memory. It was bad back then. But because you've learned it, it's in the past, past tense. And if you have, if I had a hat, which I haven't, I'd take it off you. And I'll go, awesome. I'd doff my cap to you. Because this is still going to apply to you, it is. You see, you might not have or can remember trauma, but you might have people that you blame. Blame for the things that didn't happen in your life. And now you're here. I mean, we're going to dive into in the longer podcast, who we blame. And why, what it costs us and what it wasn't and what it is. See, I have an example in my life when an ex-boss of mine, he let me down more than 100%. If you can get more than 100%, that's what he did. And he did it in front of other people. And he was my mentor. He did such good things for me. And then he did something which was terrible to me. But now, I can, I know if I met him, he might be dead by now. But if I did meet him, or if I knew when I did the work on myself, if I were going to meet him, I'd have been fine. I'd have been fine. I'd have started again. Because I'd have understood something. And it's understanding and learning, which then allows you to take responsibility for what you're doing now, and allows you to let go of that and be freer. No more reasons, which are bloody excuses. You see, that's where I want to go. And there's the other thing. Now these all might hit a bell, but the other one is, it's my bloody parents, my mum, my dad, or mother and father. I don't know, I call them my mum and my dad. You know, back then when we were little, little boys and girls, did they protect us from that thing? Did they encourage us? Or did they discourage us? Way back then. Now, did they do the things they should have done? They could have done? Well, maybe they didn't. What else didn't they do? Come on, fill in the blank. It's your experience, your thoughts, your limiting belief. It's a belief anyway. I don't think it's that supportive. But hey, they're the things we're going to be letting go in the longer podcast. We'll be diving to all of that and developing and creating a lovely process. In fact, I think there might be two, I'm not sure. I like to do two, but there's definitely going to be one. Well, there is, I know now. There's going to be two wonderful processes. One about our parent thing and one about letting go of other people. And you see, in that way, we let go of blame, anger, sadness, guilt, everything, emotion, disappointment, anything, because we can be at peace. And once we're at peace with it, and we've learnt from it, and we've had that experience in our life, we can grow from it. If you think of every person who's a thought lead and all that, they've all had shit lives right at the very beginning. I think some of them might have made it up though. But we do grow from the traumas, big T, little T, once we've learnt from, and they give us opportunities. And maybe we'll just sit and learn how to then create the life we want, because we won't have excuses, we won't have reasons, but we'll have empowerment. We'll have responsibility. But with that responsibility, we'll have the resources, because that effect, the emotions, limiting beliefs caused by our blame, has been holding us, holding us back, giving us all sorts of visions, visualisations, chatting in our head, why we can't do it, and all this stuff. Once we get that out of the way, the positive self-talk comes in, I got this, good day, I get to do this. And we start to plan because we can, we think we're, and we know, we have that opportunity, and we can grasp it. We're not going to be dragging around that old crap. It's there to let go now. So if you're ready for that, I think you are. You wouldn't be listening if you weren't. And if you know of somebody who you know is blaming other things, blaming everything, blaming themselves, then share this with them, please. Because on this deeper dive to come, the longer podcast, the hashtag podcast, I think it's very simple, by the way, and it's not traumatic. Don't worry about that. We're not going to delve into the trauma and all that rubbish, because we're going to let it go and let it go. You don't have to dive into it, let your unconscious mind learn. Just let go of all the things we're dragging around with us that we've been blaming, the people, the things, the trauma, maybe our parents. But please share that with someone you think might be secretly, sometimes they're secretly keeping it inside. But we know, we know by watching their non-verbals, their body language, as it were, the tone of voice, when something, oh, you can just see that little trigger, or maybe they're, you know, they're putting off things. And behind that is generally that thing that we're holding on to that we don't need to. And blame is a, is a crazy thing. Sometimes it makes us feel bad, doesn't it, in the short term. But hey, I would rather be encouraging myself, celebrating myself, of what's possible and the things I am doing and I'm going to do. So if that enthused you, like it's enthusing me, I'll see you on the longer podcast, and we're going to have fun letting go and creating the life we deserve. Okay, I'll see you then. Transcribed by . Personal development [self improvement] [self development] [NLP] [Hypnosis]
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#476 Empathy - A Way That Works Without The Pain
03/13/2026
#476 Empathy - A Way That Works Without The Pain
Empathy - A Way That Works Without The Pain In the FMQ527 I said something that probably made you blink. Empathy sucks. And I meant it. Not because caring is wrong. Not because helping people is wrong. Not because being sensitive is wrong. But because absorbing other people’s pain is not helping them — and it’s definitely not helping you. In this deeper dive, I show you: Why emotional dumping drains you Why empathy often becomes a hiding strategy The crucial difference between empathy and compassion How to stay grounded when people offload on you And how to become truly empathetic… with yourself Because here’s the truth: If you feel everyone else’s pain, you’ll drown. If you stay grounded and compassionate, you can actually help. And the real work? It starts with self-empathy. What We Explore 1️⃣ Why Empathy Can Be Harmful Emotional dumping and energy drain Why taking on others’ pain doesn’t serve them How empathy can become a badge of honour How it can also become unconscious avoidance of your own emotions 2️⃣ The Shift: Empathy ➜ Compassion Empathy = I feel your pain. Compassion = I recognise your pain — and I can support you without absorbing it. Compassion allows you to: Stay grounded Sustain your energy Think clearly Offer real support Stay emotionally stable It’s the difference between drowning with someone… or throwing them a rope. 3️⃣ Process One – Sitting With Your Emotion Instead of pushing emotions away: Sit with the feeling Acknowledge it Ask: What are you trying to do for me? What are you protecting me from? What are you trying to teach me? Every emotion has a positive intention. When you learn the lesson — the emotion doesn’t need to shout anymore. 4️⃣ Process Two – Compassion Without Merging (Visualisation) I guide you through: Grounding yourself Breathing deliberately Creating a subtle protective boundary Supporting someone without absorbing their pain You remain: Present Steady Caring Strong And when you walk away? You’re still yourself. 5️⃣ Process Three – Deep Self-Empathy Installation This is the powerful one. You: Place the emotion in front of you Speak to it with curiosity Thank it Discover its intention Ask what it needs Create a better strategy for that intention Future pace the change You keep the intention. You release the pain. That’s self-empathy. The Core Takeaway Before you help anyone else… Check in with yourself. Am I grounded? Am I breathing? Am I compassionate? Or am I merging and hiding? One emotion. One learning. Then it can let go. That’s how you help yourself. That’s how you genuinely help others. And that’s how empathy finally works. Key Quotes From This Episode “Empathy absorbs. Compassion supports.” “Every emotion has a positive intention.” “Learn the lesson — and the emotion doesn’t need to stay.” “Help yourself first. Then you’re truly available to others.” If This Resonated… Subscribe so you don’t miss the next FMQ seed and deeper dive. Share this with someone who: Is emotionally drained Always takes on other people’s pain Or thinks empathy is the only way to care and don't forget the video Let’s move from drowning together… to lifting each other properly. Shine Brightly 🌟 Paul Hey there! I’d love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at . Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review . Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit . Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to . Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure. Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on , Castbox, , YouTube, or on our . Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨ Music Credits Music by from , Music by from , Music by from , Music by from , Music by from . Music by from . Music by from . And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism #476 empathy - a way that works without the pain So, you're back for the longer, deeper dive. And following on from the previous FMQ, it's all about empathy. Empathy and to be empathetic without feeling the pain. Because if you remember from that FMQ, I said empathy sucks. I did. You did listen, didn't you? You did listen. Empathy sucks. And it does. Everyone pushes empathy as being the biggest thing since sliced bread and empathy. Because, you know, it what it is. There's such a better way to help people. And more importantly, help yourself. Being empathetic with yourself. That's where it should start. Number one. With number one. You see, let me just re-explain something. Oh, by the way, just jumping in before I do that. If you didn't know, I do this also on video at YouTube. They're a bit bonky, I know. Got two cameras. There we go. And a bit of light in the background. And apart from that, that's as professional as we get. But if you wanted to see me doing this, you can. But anyway, let's get back to the real stuff. When I said empathy sucks. Think about this. I talked about emotional dumping. That's what people do when they think, oh, I want to be so vulnerable. I'm going to dump on somebody. They just dump everything out they've got. And it's embarrassing. And because you want to be empathetic, you let them dump on you. You take on their pain. And they walk away going, oh, I feel so much lighter, so much lighter. And you're going, oh, I got to think about things. I worry about people do this. And you see, that's totally inappropriate. Totally inappropriate. It's just too much. You got to get out of that. You really do. You see, I know a couple examples of when people just absorb pain. My mother was one. People used to come round, offload everything. And she would worry, have sleepless nights, thinking about them, what she could do. And she couldn't do anything about it. But it affected her. There's a great, she's dead now, unfortunately. She's left this planet. But Victoria, is it? Virginia Satir was a great family therapist. And she had in her mind a belief that if I can't feel the pain, the pain of the people I'm working with, and really feel it as deeply as them, then I can't help. And she felt that pain so much, whether it was linked to the illnesses she got before she died, because she did, she suffered. And she was doing it for a wonderful reason. So was mum. But I think there's a better way. And you see, I think some ways, people who just do that dump on you, and you become the empath. Well, it's easier for them to do that than listening to themselves. It's like a shield, isn't it? A protective shield. I'm going to just put it all out there. Because in some ways, I can walk away and leave it where I put it with somebody else. That's not right, is it? Not right. And I think we have these things where we have to repress, suppress. That's no good either, by the way. And I think having empathy is in some ways, unconscious hiding. What do you mean, Cloughie? What do you mean? I'll tell you what I mean. There's a song there somewhere. I'll tell you what I want. Anyway, but it's like, if I can throw all my stuff to somebody else, means I don't have to deal with it myself. So we're hiding, we're giving ourselves safety by hiding away from the emotions that we feel. The emotions that are present. And it's up to us. We have responsibility to ourselves to deal with that ourselves. Because we're the only bugger who can. Everyone can talk. Yes, you can go to a therapist, you know, one to one, you know, one to one, go to a great hypnotist, an NLP practitioner, timeline practitioner, they will really help. But at the end of the day, you have to do it. You have to come up, have the will to do whatever it takes and do the work. They're working with you. They're not working on you. That's what a lot of people think. I do hypnosis on that person. I want NLP done on me. No, they work with you. You have to put the effort in. They're just a guide. They don't have great processes. And you see, being that empathetic, it hurts, doesn't it? It hurts taking on other people's pain. We've got enough of it our own sometimes. We don't need it. So what are we going to do? What are we going to do? Well, I want to shift it. Shift it in a way that taking away the belief about how good being an empathetic or empathy person is, and take away that belief. I'm empathetic and that's who I am. Because we think that's a little badge of honour sometimes. Two, I'm responsible for my state first. And I'll show you how to do that in a couple of processes, two or three processes I want to go through. But I'm responsible for my emotional state first. Does that make sense? A little bit like the metaphor everyone uses from an aeroplane, put your own air supply on first before you help other people. You have to be okay yourself. You see, if you're an empathetic, you're getting drained. It's bringing you down. And that's so negative. It creates a heaviness in your mental ability, your emotional ability and affects your physical abilities. And that's not dealing with things about yourself first, is it now? And if you try to suppress that, what happens? Fights back, doesn't it? The ripples get stronger. And we really do have to, I think sometimes it's like this thing where it deflects. Well, if I'm listening to everyone else, I don't need to listen to myself. And you see, your own emotions are not your enemies. They're not. They're there to help you. They're just signals. Signals to say, I've got something for you to learn. Let's change. And if you avoid that through kindness to other people, you're still avoiding, still avoiding us. Avoiding us, that's a word, isn't it? But you're still avoiding yourself, dealing with yourself. And that's what I'm putting this all down to. There's a better way than being or having empathy for people, I believe. But also it's more about, I'm here for you. No other bugger, just you. Let's help ourselves, deal with ourselves. And then we can be compassionate and help other people. And that's where I want to go, to compassion. Let's compare the two. Let's compare empathy to compassion. Empathy, I feel your pain. I feel your pain. Do you really want to feel other people's pain to help them? Or do you want to recognise their pain? And that's where compassion comes in. I recognise you are in pain. You're hurting. I mean, when I'm working with a clinically depressed person, do I have to feel clinically depressed to help? Because if I do, I won't be able to help them. I've got to be able to recognise the pain they're in, and then come up with a process to help them and guide them out of that. Empathy absorbs their pain. You absorb it into your own body. You can't help but try on. What's the point of that? I mean, is that supporting them? Just knowing their pain? Feeling their pain? No, but compassion is supporting them. Supporting them in a way to help get rid of it. Change. What else does empathy do? Well, it drains you of energy, drains you completely. Whereas if you're compassionate, your energy is sustained. You're able to use all your energy to help people and yourself. Empathy is reactive. Oh, there we are. I'll do that. But when you're compassionate, you are grounded, grounded, and therefore you're able to use all the skills you've got to see things, to reframe things, to help people, support people. As we said, hopefully that makes a difference to you. Because my answer is, what would you rather do? Would you rather feel pain, absorb the pain, get drained of energy, be reactive? Or would you rather be able to recognise people's pain and therefore support them? And when you're supporting them, come from a sustained energy level that you have. And by that way, you remain grounded. Which would you rather have? I think it's a no-bloody brainer, which is why empathy sucks. I'm never going to go away from that, by the way, with one exception. I'll tell you that now, where empathy doesn't suck. If you're in and around somebody who is having the most wonderful time, feels joy, love, everything, they're really enjoying themselves. That's when you can be empathetic. Feel the joy. Because you can learn from that. You can learn from the good feelings. I love this feeling. How can I generate it in myself? It doesn't drain. But that doesn't normally happen. People don't come and jump around because they're too busy enjoying themselves. So try to find that, match them. If you see that, that's what I do. So what's the first process I want to talk about? Because I think there is three. But the first process is, and it is so simple. And it's all about dealing with yourself. Forget other people at the moment. Because as I said before, I think empathy is deflecting. It's masking. It's a shield. But those emotions inside you, the negative emotions inside you, are there for a reason. They have a positive intention. So what do you do? We've done it a few times before. We just want to sit with that feeling. Sit with it and acknowledge it. That's it. Just sit in the feeling. You're not going to do anything. You're not going to try to push it away. You're not going to try to change it. There are processes where we change the modalities and some modalities of the pain that you're in, or the emotional pain, or the emotion itself. Move it around in your body, change its colour, change its weight, shape. But we're not doing that. This is just sitting and asking questions. So once you are sitting in the middle of that emotion, sometimes if you sit there just for a minute or two, it will disappear. Because it's been recognised. Because sometimes emotions just want to be recognised, acknowledged. Because in some way you'll get the learnings from it unconsciously. But you can ask, what are you, this emotion in me, trying to do for me? What are you trying to protect me from? It's when you get that intuitive, you go, ah, I get it. But you also realise there's this clash, there's a direct conflict, because what your emotion is trying to protect you from is creating the same feeling. You know, sometimes there's an emotion trying to stop you from feeling fear by giving you fear. That's the whole thing. But if you were calm and collected, you'd be okay. So what are you trying to teach me? That's another one. What are you trying to teach me? And just sit. And the thing is, you have to sit with that, acknowledge it and just listen with all your senses. Because sometimes things don't always come out in words, they're always audible. They can come through as maybe a visualisation, an aha moment. Maybe there's a word on the tip of your tongue, or a memory that suddenly comes back. I've had a couple of these and suddenly, oh, that was years ago, man. I say to myself, that was years ago. That's gone. It existed back then, but no longer now. So I don't need that. You've just been, you know, you've been here, still trying to do the same thing. And it's no longer necessary. Take a chill pill, take a rest. And sometimes that's enough, that acknowledgement. It's okay. You could say, well, you know, if I listened to this with all my senses, instead of pushing it away, what would happen? What would happen just sitting here acknowledging it? Sometimes just thanking the part is enough. So sit in that feeling. Thank you. Thank you for doing what you do, because it's doing it relentlessly. It is using loads of energy, by the way, trying to make you aware. And if you let go of that negative energy, you've got a void to fill with positive energy. Wonderful things. So listen and thank it. Thank you for being so persistent. Give me the learnings and then we'll just let it go. And when you say that, thank you. What's the learnings? Just notice what shifts. Sometimes it's a feeling of lightness. Sometimes it's just, I don't know what, I feel different. And sometimes you don't even notice a difference. But, there is a but, when you look back over the week that's just gone after doing the work, just sitting there, you go, oh, I'm no longer doing that thing that I used to do. No, you're no longer feeling anxious about that thing. I'm feeling more confident now because I'm doing things differently. You've got a new norm. And that's what it's all about. Because you've got to remember, every negative emotion, in fact, every emotion, not negative, has a positive intention. And when we learn that positive intention, we can find better ways if they're negative. This isn't working. How can we find a better way and keep the intention? Most people try to put, when you push and suppress, you're pushing away an intention, which is to protect you and save you, not save you, but yeah, maybe save you, protect you in different ways. And when you work with it, you begin to access different things, different ways. Yeah. Does that make sense? That make sense? So, that's one, just sitting. Here's what I'd like to do a little visualisation. I can say visualisation, but not just that. I want to do a little visualisation with you. And visualisations can be open eyes. We all daydream with our eyes open. Or sometimes it's better to close your eyes because you just avoid all the distractions out there. And visualisation, by the way, doesn't have to be in 20-20 vision, seeing everything in perfect contrast. No, it could be just an awareness that things are out there. And anything in between, from awareness to perfect 20-20 vision, is just right for you. Some days it's clearer than others. Some people say, oh, but I can't visualise. And yes, you bloody do. Sometimes you find it difficult when you're asked to visualise, but then you're wandering around and you've got all these pictures in your mind. That's visualisation. You know, when you think about memories, it's a visualisation because it's not happening. It's gone. But now you're recalling it in visual, auditory, all those terms. I just want you to imagine this. So if you want to close your eyes for a moment, just make sure that no one needs your attention. You've got a safe space just to sit, maybe lay down if you're at home, but just stand anywhere you like. But just notice for a moment, visualise this. Imagine you're with somebody and they're offloading on you. They're being supersonically vulnerable. But instead of being that old empathetic, I want you to visualise it in a different way. So there they are, they're offloading. And just imagine this. Imagine grounding yourself in the moment. Just be in your body, grounded to the floor. Maybe you could imagine there's like...
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FMQ527 Empathy Sucks!
03/06/2026
FMQ527 Empathy Sucks!
Empathy Sucks (Unless It's With Yourself) I said it. Empathy sucks. Now before you unsubscribe and send me a strongly worded email… hear me out. In this episode I’m diving deep into something that most people believe is a virtue — feeling other people’s pain. And yes, empathy can be beautiful. But if all you do is absorb the emotions of others, carry their struggles, and ignore your own… that’s not kindness. That’s self-neglect. Here’s what I explore in this episode: Why absorbing other people’s pain drains your emotional energy How empathy can become a way of avoiding your own feelings Why suppressed emotions don’t disappear — they generalise The difference between empathy and compassion (and why it matters) How to process your own emotions so they stop running your life Simple processes to turn emotional overwhelm into emotional strength I truly believe this: If you deal with your stuff first, you help people better. When you stop hiding from your own emotions and learn from them instead, something shifts. You become grounded. Present. Powerful. And far more able to support others without drowning in their experience. This episode includes practical processes to: Work with difficult emotions Discover the positive intention behind them Stop suppressing and start learning Shift from emotional sponge to compassionate supporter Because compassion sustains. Empathy without boundaries drains. And if you’re going to feel deeply… start by feeling for yourself. This Episode Is For You If: You feel emotionally drained by other people You often absorb the moods of those around you You struggle to process your own emotions You consider yourself “an empath” but feel overwhelmed You want stronger emotional resilience You want to help others without losing yourself A Simple Practice From This Episode Before helping someone else this week, ask yourself: “Am I grounded… or am I hiding?” Then sit with one emotion of your own. Ask: What are you trying to teach me? What are you protecting me from? What can I learn from you? Learn the lesson. And watch what shifts. Share The Love If this episode resonated with you: Subscribe Share it with someone who gives too much of themselves Leave a review Let’s help more people become emotionally strong instead of emotionally overloaded. And as always… Have more fun than you can stand. Shine Brightly 🌟 Paul Hey there! I’d love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at . Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review . Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit . Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to . Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure. Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on , Castbox, , YouTube, or on our . Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨ Music Credits Music by from , Music by from , Music by from , Music by from , Music by from . And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism Hey, welcome to the five minute quickie, the seed that I sow for a longer podcast. And hopefully you'll find if you, if you have an issue, by the way, if you have an issue and they're not, not directly talked about in the episodes, I think you'll find that I've made, made them in a way that if you concentrate on your issue and set your intention to learn about your issue and how to let it go with every episode, you'll find that they're, they're ambiguously linked. I'll say that again, ambiguously linked. Done it in a way that you can really use these for so many issues. In fact, you can have any issue you like as many as you like, but pick one and have a listen and you'll find that it will help. That's my plan anyway. And today we've got another seed and it's about one of the banes of life. And what is it? Bloody empathy. Empathy because it bloody sucks. Now, title is something different. You have to read the title, but you know, why do I say empathy sucks? I've said it for a long time is that if all you do is feel the pain of others, then, you know, it just adds to yours, doesn't it? It adds to your pain. The people who just dump on you. And I don't mean it in a nasty way. They're not doing it consciously. Well, maybe some people are, but most people do it unconsciously. They offload, don't they? They offload their pain. And because you're empathetic and you think it's a good thing to do, you feel their pain, you take their pain, you live with their pain and you add it to yours. And that's why I think it sucks. But I also think being empathetic does have a sort of positive intention because it hides you away from your pain. Get it? Hides it away from your pain. Now, you have to think about that for a little while. Because you can say, no, no, no, no, no. This is really good that I'm helping somebody. But you're not concentrating on yourself. You're not setting an intention to deal with your stuff first, because if you deal with your stuff first, you will help people a lot better. You will. And I think sometimes when you're in that way of being empathetic and you're hiding things from yourself, you're hiding that emotion from yourself and what it's trying to do for you. Because everything has an intention. Every emotion you have is here for a reason, negative or positive. You're learning. Or you could and should learn from them. And when you learn from the negatives, they just disappear. But here's the thing. I know it's a form of safety. But when you're not dealing with yourself first, then there's a little bit of a clash, isn't there? And we need to do that. Because it's not really safety, is it? If you're not dealing with yourself, how safe are you? Well, you're not really. You're hiding again. I say hiding. So what are we going to do? You see, one of the reasons we push negative emotions away is because they're painful. They're bloody painful. We push them away. We suppress them. We repress them. And what happens? The more you push, those emotions push back. And they don't only push back in the context that they were created in. They generalise, they generalise into different areas of your life. And what happens then is, well, unless you're prepared to learn from them and deal with them, they just get worse, bigger, stronger and in more areas of your life, which is a real shit. And you can deal with it. You really can. Now you've got, as I said, loads of other episodes, but this particular longer episode coming next is to deal with this thing called empathy, but dealing with it in the right way. If you're going to be empathetic, be bloody empathetic to yourself. So what can we do about it? These emotions that you're ignoring, you're trying to hide, you're pushing away, you're suppressing, repressing more than we've said it all before. What can you do about it? Well, I've got a plan, a plan and maybe a couple of processes that I'm going to put into the longer episode, because that's what we need to do. And the thing is, these processes, guess what they are? They are simple. And what does simple do? In simplicity, there is genius. Because it's easy to do. It's easy to follow. Sometimes it's a little bit hard because it takes effort. That's the only only hardship. You have to take effort. You have to set your intention. I'm going to do this. I'm going to find the learnings because this part of me is making me feel this emotion that I'm trying to push away. But if I if I work with it and learn from it, it will disappear and I'll be a better person for it. So that's where we're going on the deeper, deeper, that's where we're going on the longer episode with a deeper dive. And just in case you don't agree with me, and that's fine. It's just my opinion, my thoughts. If you don't agree with me that empathy sucks, that's just a belief. And I think it's a limiting belief because I'll show you why when we deal with it. Because I think if you really want to help people, change your empathy into being compassionate. Compassion. That's where you really get to help people. You can be there for them, support them. You don't have to feel the pain to know they're in pain. But you can use all your compassion to support them. And that feels bloody good. Oh, there is one other thing before we go, where empathy doesn't suck. Even though I said it does suck. There's one place where it doesn't suck. Because feeling other people's emotions can be when they're feeling joy, feeling happy, when they're celebrating, you go feel that celebration, you go feel the happiness, you go feel that joy, support them in that way. Oh, we're being compassionate again, because we're meeting them with that wonderful feeling again. And we're just, well, that's what we're going to do. We're going to be there, we're going to be for them. But more importantly, you have to be compassionate with yourself, you have to be more empathetic with yourself. And that's where we're going. Long way around. But I think you'll enjoy it. Even though it seems a bit weird, come and play. Come and sit down for a change, maybe for a spell, all that magical stuff. And let's just see where it goes. Because you might find it just really gels to set your intention when you come with me on the longer podcast. I want to learn from this. What can I learn from this? And I guarantee you when you say that to yourself, with a pure, honest intention, you will learn something big. Come with me on the longer podcast, comes out next week. I have more fun than you can stand. Okay, see you soon. Bye bye now, go fly. So before you leave this unplugged mind of mine, this hypnotic mind, if you enjoyed this podcast or any of the other podcasts, please do subscribe. It helps this podcast grow and affect so many more people. And we love to leave everyone in a better place than we found them. And this will help help the podcast, it will help you and it will help everyone that you know. So if you just subscribe and share, share this podcast to everyone you know. That's the only cost, pay it forward to everyone. And when you do that, boom, we are all going to make a difference to this little old planet Earth of ours, and the people in it. Let's make a good world, a nice world. Okay, okay, you can now prepare to leave this unplugged mind. Warning, you are now leaving the unplugged mind of Paul Clough. It's time to fly. Be brave, my friend. Personal Development Unplugged Transcribed by . Personal development [self improvement] [self development] [NLP] [Hypnosis]
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Here's A new Hypnosis track from #475.1 Creating The Life You Haven't Lived Yet
03/01/2026
Here's A new Hypnosis track from #475.1 Creating The Life You Haven't Lived Yet
HYPNOSIS Creating The Life You Haven't Lived - Yet I thought it would be nice to take the process from the longer podcast and remix it to a deeper and even more comfortable way to connect with your Unconscious mind and sow the seeds of what you dream of for you in the future. So please enjoy with my compliments And........ Let me know what you need now to ensure they happen bigger, better and quicker than you could imagine :o) Get your unique link here: Oh! You will also find a further 65+ more complimentary deep hypnosis tracks and NLP processes Shine Brightly 🌟 Paul Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure. Hey there! I’d love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at . Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review . Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit . Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to . Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on , Castbox, , YouTube, or on our . Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨ Music Credits Music by from , Music by from , Music by from , Music by from , Music by from . Music by from . Music by from . Personal development [self improvement] [self development] [NLP] [Hypnosis]
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#475 Creating The Life You Haven't Lived Yet
02/27/2026
#475 Creating The Life You Haven't Lived Yet
Creating The Life You Haven't Lived Yet In the last FMQ, I talked about the idea that there’s a book inside you. In this episode, I take that idea further. Because here’s what I truly believe… You’re already writing your life. One page at a time. One day at a time. The question is — are you writing it consciously? In this episode I guide you through a creative visualisation process that helps you: Step out of “life just happening” Stop letting other people write your chapters Feel your future before it physically exists Align your unconscious mind with what you truly want Take one small, powerful step forward This isn’t about pretending the past didn’t happen. It’s about deciding what happens next. And you don’t have to be 100% ready. You just have to start. What We Do Together In This Episode I guide you into a relaxed, curious state. You sit at a desk. There’s a book in front of you called: My Life, My Adventure. The past chapters are written. You acknowledge them. You thank them. And then… You begin writing the next chapter. Not perfectly. Not dramatically. Just intentionally. You float outside yourself. You see yourself writing. You feel support from the people who care about you. You see yourself through loving eyes. And then you ask one powerful question: What small step can I take now? Because the magic isn’t in dreaming. It’s in deciding. What I Want You To Take From This You are not stuck. You are not finished. You are not defined by previous chapters. Responsibility is not blame — it’s power. Your future starts now. And remember… Even if you do nothing differently today — you’re still writing a page. So why not write it on purpose? If This Resonates Subscribe. Share this with someone who needs it. And take one small step. Have more fun than you can stand. Wallow in pleasure. Shine Brightly 🌟 Paul Hey there! I’d love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at . Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review . Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit . Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to . Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure. Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on , Castbox, , YouTube, or on our . Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨ Music Credits Music by from , Music by from , Music by from , Music by from , Music by from . And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism Hey, so welcome back. It's Longer Dive, creating the life you haven't, you haven't lived yet. And there's a few things that surround what I'm going to be talking about. It's like my intention and a few observations I've made about the subject. And looking as if you were looking down on this subject, my thoughts were, this starts now. It starts right now. And you don't have to be ready, by the way, you don't have to be ready. You just have to start now. And what I want to tell you is, you know, this is your choice. Of course, it's your choice. But you get the right to choose. And the thing is, I believe in you. I believe in you. I want to support you in this. Yeah, bit hammy, isn't it? But that's what I'm going to do. That's why I'm here. How do I want you to feel through all of this? Well, that feeling is, I want is, I can do this. I can do this. And why is it so important? Even though you don't know what I'm going to talk about, why is it so important? Because it's our responsibility, yours and mine. No one else's. No one gets involved in this. It's our responsibility to create this life we haven't yet lived yet. And that's what we're going to do. You see, I talked on the last FMQ about everyone's got a book inside them. But not everyone has to write it, not write it physically out there. You can do, you can do. Awesome. If you feel like you've got a book, but this is like taking that metaphor of the book of your life. And I've got a lovely process that I want to, I've adapted, that I was going to help you actually get your unconscious mind to begin to align with your conscious mind and write the chapters of what's yet to happen. So you're an author. You are an author already. In fact, you write a page a day, at least. You write a page a day because you create the life you're going to live today, right now. You may not know it consciously, but that's what you do. And you decide your day. Again, is it conscious? Sometimes. Unconscious? Absolutely. Put the two together. It can create mayhem. It can create wonders. But when we set our intention of how we want to be, and they're aligned, conscious and unconscious, we can now start writing those paragraphs, those chapters and form a wonderful dedication. Because we can dedicate this and our life to the people who's come to us in the past, but we've still got mentors to come and experiences to come in the future. And I think sometimes we get involved with other people sometimes too much. We try to write their chapters, their paragraphs. And it's not our responsibility. Yes, we can be there to support, mentor, but ultimately it's up to them to take responsibility, write their own and create their own life. And then there's the other side of that. Sometimes we let other buggers write our lives as if they're imposing what we should do. Oh, you could do this. You ought to do that. Why don't you do this? It's such as, oh, that's the right thing to do. And they don't bloody know because they're not you. They haven't got your experiences. They haven't got your learnings. They haven't got anything. They just know you from over there, but they don't know you in here, do they? Only one person knows you in here and that's you. Anyway, having said all of that, what the fuck am I talking about? I'm sorry. Well, this is what I'm going to do. Just follow along with me. If you could just take this time out, be open, be curious and follow along with me. Because on this metaphor that everyone has a book inside them, whether you actually physically write it or whether you just create it, it's just a story, but you are creating that story. You can look back over yesterday, that was part of your story. You look back over a month ago, that was just a year ago, but you look into the future and decide how you want it to be. Because it's your choice, you can either live on the effect side of life, which is cause and effect, allow other people to cause you to be a certain way, or it's the weather, a financial situation, oh I can't do this because, because, because. All bloody reasons. Good reasons? No, they're excuses, aren't they? Cause and effect. You're living in the effect side of life, but when you start to take responsibility, you are creating, you're choosing. You chose, if you did, to live at the effect side of life, you chose that unconsciously, consciously, you let it happen. Now you can stop because you can do this. You can begin to write every paragraph, every chapter creatively. You see when you become at cause, you take responsibility, you become totally bloody empowered because it's you. I've got this, happy day. So that's what we're going to do, we're going to take responsibility for this creation. And the best part about this process, the process I want to share with you, it doesn't matter if you're feeling a hundred percent, absolutely wonderful, or maybe you're not loving the world and you're struggling, or you're struggling just a little bit, or you're struggling big time, or even if you're in therapy. Why? Because it works on your desires, your dreams, and giving your permission to create and have those dreams and desires. So it doesn't really matter what chapters have gone on before, it's now creating your future, how you want to be. So it doesn't matter whatever stage you are in your life right now, this is going to help, this is going to do something. You are going to be the director of your book, well the author. So what I want you to do is whatever state of mind you're in at the moment, just suspend a little bit of doubt if you've got any, and for a few moments open up your curiosity. Give yourself a break, yeah just give yourself a break to say well if it did work, if I did follow Cloughie's little process, I wonder how good it could happen, I wonder what wonderful effects it will have, that's an awesome question. And you see what we're going to do is this wonderful process based on an NLP process called, it's a visualization, maybe a bit hypnosis, a bit hypnotic, but it's called my autobiography, but I've changed it slightly, I've adapted it to be for not the life you've lived, but the life you want to live, yours, no one else's. So that's what we're going to do, and all you're going to do is put aside 10 minutes, that's all, just 10 minutes, well give or take, that's all it is. Have you got 10 minutes? Of course you bloody have, everyone's got bloody 10 minutes, especially with the chance of creating something really nice, really good, good for a change right now. Now you may need a little notebook or a big one, I don't care, a piece of paper, a pen, because sometimes we get instant ahas, instant insights, that's it, I've got it. Write the bugger down, because you don't write it down, what happens, someone says, oh by the way, bugger it's gone, what was I thinking about, it's disappeared. So let's write the bugger down, you can go back to it, and that's what we're going to do. And remember curiosity, what does curiosity feel like? Because I want you to feel curious just before you do this process, because when you're curious and you've got this little thought in mind, I wonder what I can learn from this, you're going to learn big time. So this is what I want you to do, I just want you to find a comfortable place, a place where you will be undisturbed for around 10 minutes or so. So if you need to pause, come back to this when you've got somewhere nice and gentle, it could be on the outside, out in the fresh air, could be inside in a nice quiet place, and set that intention. I wonder what I can learn from this right now. Okay, so get that feeling of curiosity, remember a time when you were so curious and you learnt something great, and if you were to feel that feeling right now, what would that be like? And as you feel that feeling, allow your eyes to close, because you've got this safe space where you're going to be undisturbed for 10 minutes or so. You're lying down or sitting down, it doesn't matter. And breathe, take a wonderful in-breath, hold it just for a few seconds and let it out long and slow. That's right. And as you do that, you may even wonder how comfortable you could be. What would it be like to be twice as comfortable as you are right now? What would that feel? Oh yeah. And if your muscles around your eyes were so soft, maybe the eyelids wouldn't want to work, but that softness in the muscles of your eyes can penetrate all your body, all the muscles, the sinews, everything. Just with every out-breath, you get more and more comfortable. It's all you need to be. And as you do that, I want you to imagine you're sitting in a room. You're in a room, sitting at a desk. And on that desk, there's a lovely book. Some of it has already been written in. And if you looked at the cover, it would say, My Life, My Adventure. And you notice the pages have been written on. Your life that's gone by, it's already been written. The ups and the downs, the pleasures, maybe even trauma. It doesn't matter. It's gone. It's gone and been done with. You've learned from it. And as you sit there, you can see a wonderful pen and you can think now, I wonder, how would I like tomorrow? Maybe how would I like next month to be? Maybe how would I like the next six months to be? I wonder what I'm planning to do and enjoy over the next year. And that book, the unwritten pages, it's really thick because you've got so many pages to fill. Now, as you begin to think and that you pick up that pen, begin to put it on the page, it might start writing. But as you just think, get curious of how you would like the days of the rest of your life to be, to experience, to enjoy, to create. I want you to imagine leaving your body and floating outside this room because on one wall, it's a clear wall, like a lovely plastic glass. It's all the same. And you're on the other side now, looking at you, writing. Yeah, you, you're writing the rest of that book, how you want your life to be. All the adventures, the things you want, the pleasures, like your hero's journey, following your path, your passions. You're over there writing them now. See the smile on your face as you're creating wonderful, wonderful characters that you meet along the way. But then as you stand here, looking at you at that desk, you also notice beside you, people who you love. They're here too, looking at you over there. People you love. And then the other side, there's people you respect. Maybe your mentors, maybe people you've read about. They're all here, all here with you. You may not be able to see them all, but you can feel the essence and energy of their presence. And you can imagine, if you wanted to, looking through any of their eyes and seeing what they would see as they look at you, creating your future, looking through the eyes of love for you, sending you all their energy. So you can use it with inspiration, intuition, ahas, those moments of just wonder. So you can create over there, beginning to create something that you can sometimes not even imagine possible, but now you can because you have all the support. Maybe you look through the eyes of someone who loves you and look through their eyes, through the eyes of love at you over there. Feel that love being sent to you over there, giving you the quality of pure love. That's right, all this energy, all this wonderful love being, as it were, beamed to you, that you over there. And just from here, you might want to begin to think, if that you over there could have the life they want in all different areas of their life. Maybe all the different areas of context could be family, could be social, could be work, relationships, mental, physical, spiritual, connection, family. They can dream of how they want it in each area. No editing, because each time they think about it, how their life would be, they can feel it. You can feel it now. Feel how you would send the energy of how you want your relationships to be in the future, how you want your career to be in the future, your social life, your free time. How do you want to be physically, emotionally, having that connection? And feel it. Feel each one from here and send that feeling to that you over there. And just let that happen over and over again. Your unconscious mind can do it even more. But your conscious mind can imagine now, become the dreamer. And your unconscious mind can be the dream maker. That's right. If you're taking responsibility, you're empowered, and you can have it any way you want, because this is you, this is yours, your imagination of how you want the rest of your life to be. And as you feel each one of those, begin to bring them all together. As you float back into that room, into that you, sitting in that chair, in that chair and at that desk. And you might not see the words being written because you're writing this day by day in real life. I want you to take those feelings and magnify them. Magnify the feeling of how you want life to be. The ultimate vision of yourself, your best version. When you're creating the life you were meant to do. The reason you're here on this little old planet Earth, making a difference. Socially, at work, career, selfless service, feeling of wonderful relationships. What it's like to be mentally strong, emotionally so good, accessing all wonderful positive emotions and spreading true love. How it feels to be physically, just the way you want it. Having that connection. Maybe there's a spiritual side of this too. And feel them all. So this you, writing your book, can have everything you dream of. And as you do that, I want you to float all the way out of this room now, leave that you out there, at that desk, to continue writing and come back into you right now. And just for a moment, just wonder, what have I learned from this? What can I do right now? How can I begin to create the next paragraph, the next chapter of my life? How can I begin to create the life I dream of? What's a smaller step in each and every one of those wonderful contexts, areas of your life? So you know you're creating this. And allow that just to settle in and knowing, knowing, and be curious. I wonder how rich can this be? Because it's going to be the rest of your life creating the adventure of your life, of enjoyment, of joy, of love, of wonderful adventures, meeting wonderful people, doing all wonderful things, and being the true you, you were meant to be. And with that, take a wonderful in-breath with me. Let it out nice and slow. And open your eyes. There you go. Open your eyes. Look around the room, give yourself, well, can you spell your surname backwards just to bring yourself back into the E-I-H-G-U-O-L-C. Cloughie, that's me, backwards. There you go. It just breaks, whoops, breaksy. Breaks that little thing now. So now we can live that life. And if you do have that paper and pen, pencil, and if there is anything, I love it in a little book because they carry it around with you because at any moment you could get that intuition, that aha moment. So you can record the things, the insights, the intuitions, the wonderful, ah, that's what I'm going to do. And then you can just let that book inside you to be written as you create it. If there's anything you need, there are several thousand bloody episodes now of this tiny little podcast. So there's loads of tools, processes here, lots of insights. If you need a help to find something that matches your needs, let me know, feedback at personaldevelopmentunplugged.com. That's my email address. And I'll try to direct you to different areas. You've also got, because this, some of this is you're going to want to say, well, what type of state do I want to be in? How do I want to plan my future? How do I, this one particular goal that I'm really now so enthused about, how can I go about it? There are, I say, loads of previous episodes. There is a complimentary, I don't like the word free, but it is free, complimentary hypnosis track, 65, six of them at the moment. I'm going to do more, all different areas of, of change work. So you can just sit down for change and maybe just sit down for a spell and allow them to be your tools for creating the life you want. But most importantly, just take responsibility to live it because it's...
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FMQ 526 Writing Your Future
02/20/2026
FMQ 526 Writing Your Future
Writing Your Future Everyone says, “There’s a book inside you.” But what if that book isn’t about writing your past… What if it’s about writing your future? In this Five Minute Quickie, Paul takes the metaphor of “the book inside you” and flips it into something powerful — a way to consciously create the next chapters of your life. Your past chapters? Already written. Some brilliant. Some messy. All done. But the unwritten chapters? They’re rich with possibility. And here’s the key — you are the author. In this short episode, you’ll begin to: Reframe your past through learning and growth See your future as unwritten potential Fire up your imagination intentionally Start designing the emotional tone of your next chapters Prepare for a deeper process in the upcoming longer episode This isn’t about fantasy. It’s about engaging your unconscious mind through metaphor — the language it understands best — so it can begin spotting opportunities aligned with your dreams. The only limit? Your imagination. And you’re in charge of that. Listen now — and become the author of your life, not lived. Share what you hear Shine Brightly 🌟 Paul Hey there! I’d love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at . Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review . Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit . Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to . Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure. Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on , Castbox, , YouTube, or on our . Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨ Music Credits Music by from , Music by from , Music by from , Music by from , Music by from . And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism FMQ 526 Writing your future Welcome my friend, welcome to another FMQ. A seed, a seed that I want to sow to generate, create a richness in your life. A life to come, because you've already lived a good chunk of your life, or a part of your life, or what, well you've lived anyway because you're listening here. But we've got a runway, a runway that needs to be filled I guess, needs to be filled. And I heard the other day, and I forgot to make a note of the guy's name, but someone said, everyone, everyone has a book inside them. I thought, you see I get it when people say that, and people literally think, well I've got this book inside me, I've got to write it. And some actually do write it. I've written a book, I'm not going to say it's a very good one, but it was all about me giving therapy to myself when I went through a dark period. And it was called It Doesn't Have to Be This Way, because that's the way I felt. I didn't want it to be this way, and then I created processes to get me out of that. I know another guy, a friend of mine, who's written five books, five, five books, and none of them have ever been printed yet, because he's writing them for himself. He has books inside him that he wanted to write just for himself. Maybe one day he'll let them out, who knows. But taking that aside, that literal view, everybody's got a book inside them, you know, not everyone wants to write a book, do they? No, not everyone. But I do believe in the metaphor now, because I've got a different take on that. And in this different take, or with this different take, I'd like to use the metaphor to create something special. I'd like to be able to create a process using the metaphor, if you've got a book inside you, to create the life you dream of, to allow those dreams to become your reality. And that'd be good, because we all have dreams, don't we? And I'm here, well, I'm supporting your dreams. That's one of my aims for this podcast, to support your dreams and support you in achieving those dreams. You know, get you through the naysayers, the people who throw, metaphorically, throw rocks at our dreams. Sometimes they try to just hold us back, because they don't want to let us go. But we've all got dreams inside us. And I believe those dreams are on our runway, runway for the rest of our life, or they can be. And you see, if you think about the metaphor of having a book inside you, if you think about it, you've got a dedication where you would give thanks to the people in your life. You've got chapters, chapters you've already written, the past, the life that you've lived, some shit ones. And there's some great ones, you know, there's some great ones. But there's a huge difference in those chapters. But they've already been written, haven't they? Well, maybe not the complete dedication, because you know, there may be people you come and find along the way, like the hero's journey. You find mentors, friends, accomplices, people who support you, people who give you maybe a little bit of pushback, the challenges. But the past has already been written. It's all been done. It's been dusted. You got the t-shirt, you've been there, done that, got the t-shirt. And you can't you can, because the past is only your perception of the past, isn't it? And when you change, your perception changes. You see, when we can learn things from the past, it changes its role. The past changes role because it has new learnings for you. You see, when we, you, I, grow by learning from our experiences, those past chapters, we take on the learnings, they go inside, our perception changes, our view of those events of the past change because we have the learnings and our beliefs change. We grow. And then, this is what I think, the unwritten part, the rest of your book, the future that hasn't happened yet and is going to come into the now, hasn't happened yet. And it's rich in opportunities, isn't it? Wow, it's so rich because you can create those opportunities with new perceptions, new learnings, new dreams, goals, aims in mind, all of that. And the thing is, keeping that metaphor going, you are the author. You get to decide, no other fucker, as soon as we square in, but this came out, but no one else has the right to decide how you write your future, how you live your future. And that's where we're going to go on the longer podcast. We're going to dive in deeper because I know there's a process in this metaphor that we can find at least one, if not two processes, maybe more, that's going to allow you to follow the metaphor through, but give your unconscious mind, because it follows metaphors and imaginations so much better than you telling it, to create your dreams. So for you to write your dreams, to feel them and then have them come into fruition, wouldn't that be brilliant? So what I'm going to ask you to do, a couple of things. I want to get your imagination fired up. So I want you to begin to think, if this was a book, how would you like the final chapters to be? I'm going to say finally, you can have as many as you like, and you can make them as rich and imaginative as you want, because it's yours. And as you do that, you'll get a feeling. So I just want you to think about that for the moment. Just think of the things you'd like to write about, what those chapters may be, if you had that book. And that's what I just want you to think about for the moment. So when we get into that longer, deeper dive, I can get you to hook into and re-remember thoughts you've had from now until then. I'll also get you to think of even richer ones in the longer podcast. Think again. That's my aim. So we can take this metaphor and allow your unconscious mind to start creating, looking for opportunities to allow those dreams, those goals in mind, those aims to come to fruition. And maybe your imagination along the way will make them bigger and brighter, because you can. Because with each successful step in the now, as it comes along, you'll be able to think, well, if I could do this, what else is available to me? And the only limit, is there a limit Cloughie? You're saying there's a limit? Yeah, there is a limit. The limit is only your imagination and you're in charge of that. No other bugger. So allow your imagination to run wild for what you want, what will make you happy, what will make you feel so good, what will give you joy, what will bring love or any other emotion you want to have. Okay? Because when we get those emotions, everything else will just be right. If you would, just pass this on, pay it forward, so other people can come along into the deeper dive and allow them to write their future. If you do that, and press that subscribe button. So when the longer, deeper podcast comes along, bing, it flashes up for you. And then you can sit back, find a space, because there'll be, if there's a process, it's probably going to be close your eyes a little bit. Maybe just have a pad and pen or a pencil just to make a few notes as well. So you can be fully prepared to create what you want. Yeah. Okay. You go fly my friend. I'll see you on the deeper dive. So before you leave this unplugged mind of mine, this hypnotic mind, if you enjoyed this podcast or any of the other podcasts, please do subscribe. It helps this podcast grow and affect so many more people. And we love to leave everyone in a better place than we found them. And this will help help the podcast, it will help you and it will help everyone that you know. So if you can just subscribe and share, share this podcast to everyone you know. That's the only cost, pay it forward to everyone. And when you do that, boom, we are all going to make a difference to this little old planet earth of ours and the people in it. But let's make a good world, a nice world. Okay. Okay. You can now prepare to leave this unplugged mind. You are now leaving the unplugged mind of Paul Clough. It's time to fly. Be brave, my friend. Personal development unplugged. Transcribed by . Personal development [self improvement] [self development] [NLP] [Hypnosis]
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#474 Vulnerability Starts Here - Inside
02/13/2026
#474 Vulnerability Starts Here - Inside
Vulnerability Starts Here – Inside Everyone’s talking about vulnerability… But most of it starts in the wrong place. In this episode of Personal Development Unplugged, I slow it right down and take the pressure off. Because real vulnerability isn’t about oversharing, trauma-dumping, or spilling your guts to the nearest person who’ll listen. It starts inside. This episode is about learning how to be honest with yourself first — safely, simply, and in a way that actually creates change. Inside this episode, I guide you through two powerful, practical steps you can use whether you’re struggling right now, carrying something from the past, or just want better emotional resilience for whatever comes next. No forcing. No reliving trauma. No pressure to “open up” before you’re ready. Just awareness, understanding, and control. What you’ll experience in this episode: Why vulnerability is often misunderstood (and why oversharing isn’t the answer) How being honest with yourself changes everything A simple internal process to acknowledge emotions without drowning in them How to work with the part of you that’s been “pushing it down” A powerful visualisation to safely explore honesty with someone you respect How to gain insight without needing anyone else present Why vulnerability doesn’t have to be uncomfortable, messy, or embarrassing How small internal shifts create real-world confidence and connection This episode includes guided internal processes and creative visualisation, designed to help your unconscious mind let go of what it no longer needs — gently, respectfully, and effectively. If you’ve ever thought: “If only they knew how I really felt…” …this one’s for you. Listen. Experience. Then pay it forward. Key Takeaways Vulnerability starts with honesty to yourself, not exposure to others Acknowledging emotions is different from accepting or reliving them Internal safety comes before external sharing You can gain insight and relief without involving anyone else When you feel safe inside, vulnerability becomes natural, not forced Your Call to Action If this episode resonated: Subscribe so you don’t miss the deeper dives Share this episode with someone who might need it Email me at if there’s something you want help with Shine Brightly 🌟 Paul Hey there! I’d love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at . Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review . Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit . Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to . Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure. Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on , Castbox, , YouTube, or on our . Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨ Music Credits Music by from , Music by from , Music by from , Music by from , Music by from . And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism #474 Vulnerability starts here - Inside So welcome. Vulnerability starts here. If you listen to FMQ 525, you'll have got into a little bit where we said, or I said, it seems to me like everyone, everyone and his bloody dog seems to go on about being so bloody vulnerable. You know, just spill it all out there. As if it's that easy. Just spill it out. Just all out to anybody, whoever's there, whoever's close enough to listen. Now, for most of us, it's not that easy. Because it's private, isn't it? Don't like to share these things. And really, sometimes and most of the time, it's not usually appropriate because maybe the circumstance or the context is not appropriate, or the person you're sharing with. It's not an appropriate person to share it with. And most of all, you need to be, well, be vulnerable. You can't be vulnerable to every dick, Tom or Harry or Tom, Dick and Harry, as we say in the UK. And I want to take the pressure off. Because I know you're not one of these people who just, you know, spill it all out. Because that's inappropriate. You know, sometimes you had it when someone tells you too much too soon. You know, it's overwhelming. And it's embarrassing, isn't it? You hide, you want to get away. And you don't want to be that person. And you're not that person. So I want to take the pressure off. And I want to take the pressure off by sharing with you some very simple first steps. Simple first steps, we know what simplicity is. Simplicity is genius. In simplicity, there's genius. And these steps, well, I think they just work. Because they work in a very special way. They start at the core. And I believe it will allow you to be in control. Be in control and truly understand your specific vulnerability, because everyone's bloody different, isn't it? But these two steps, processes, call them what you will. They allow for that. They allow the general, but they're specific, because they allow you to add to the process, your specific needs, your specific issue. Because I've designed it so they're just for you. And I think that's something that, well, it's just going to work. Now, way back in that FMQ, I sort of hinted, or I might have been very direct. Being vulnerable, I think, is about being honest. Honest with ourselves first. Fuck the rest. It's about being honest with ourselves first. No excuses. No reasons why you can't understand, or don't want to understand, because we're going to find out. You know, we've got that confirmation bias, we're going to put that to one side. No excuses, because when you become vulnerable to yourself, I believe things just get different. They become different. They become easy to understand. And it's the understanding of our issues, from a distance, not in it. Can't read the label when you're in the jar, but we're just going to be honest. And in that way, we don't need to ask for help at this moment, because when we suffer, when we suffer issues and don't ask for help, it's like pushing it down, doesn't it? Because being vulnerable to others, and it is helpful, by the way, it is helpful when we've done these two processes, by the way, these two steps. Being vulnerable to others and being honest, it's really fucking hard. But when you get this understanding, and you find the right person, man, it'll change. And you don't always have to find the right person to be vulnerable to. Because when you go through these steps, being vulnerable can just be like being yourself. And what would that be like? Being yourself in amongst others, and with yourself. That'd be awesome, wouldn't it? I know that feeling. I've struggled with that feeling. And it's a dream. At that time, it was a dream to be so open, but in control of that openness. But what tends to happen, I think is, and if you're like me, you're going through an issue. And you're thinking, if only they knew how bad I feel, if only you over there knew how bad I feel, how isolated I feel, how alone this feeling makes me inside now, frightened, scared. Sometimes you're scared to face it. Because it's uncomfortable. But follow me, come with me, because it doesn't have to be uncomfortable. Because we don't have to know, we no longer then have to push it down. We don't. We're not going to push it down. You see, and you may be thinking, you may be thinking to yourself, well, I'm listening to this old boy, this Cloughie, and I don't seem to have those issues. I'm fine. I don't think you're being honest. Not that, not right now, maybe you're fine right now, but you've had issues in the past. Well, I bet you haven't shared it. Maybe you had that little voice, if only they knew. I'm a little bit frightened. I'm a little bit isolated. I'm a little bit alone. I feel frightened and scared. Push it down a little bit. Don't want to deal with it. You've had them in the past, maybe. If you haven't, that's awesome. You've dealt with it. But you may know somebody who's going through this. You might see the signs of them holding it down. Because we say, what we do is we just push it down. And I think I said that saying, push it down, buttercup. Let's just get on with it. But no, we're going to get on with it, but go through these steps. You see, the first thing I think we do when I say be honest, be honest with ourselves, we need to acknowledge for ourselves or to ourselves how we really feel, how we really feel, and just sit with it. That may be the one and only step you have to do. If it's small, if it's a small issue, and you don't like this, but I don't want to talk about it. Just sit with that feeling, sit in the middle of that emotion. And sometimes just sitting with it, you'll begin to understand it. You're not accepting it, by the way. I always say this, never accept it, just acknowledge it. Because it's happening, it's happening right now. So when you get that emotion, that feeling, sit in it. How do you do that? Well, find where it is in your body, just close your eyes and just notice where it is in your body. And just put your attention on it. Just sit with it. Maybe you can just understand what you can learn from it. I wonder what this feeling is doing for me. What is it trying to do for me? And sometimes we get that aha moment, or the understanding, or just sometimes, just literally becoming aware, sitting in that emotion will allow it to disappear because it's been acknowledged, because most of the time, as we say, we're pushing it down, pushing it away, doing everything we bloody can. And the more you push things away, the more you push it down, the more it will get stronger and push it back and push it up. And so just by acknowledging it, you go, okay, you're here. Think your fear. I think you're frightened, or whatever emotion it is. And just sit with it. And then just let it go. It's like stepping away from those biases, stepping away from hiding, just sitting there. And you see, as an example, in some of the therapy that I, my sons do, and a lot of people do, by the way, it's called timeline therapy. See, if we can see, well, not necessarily see, but become aware, because you don't always see these things. So don't worry if you can't, well, I can't see this feeling, I can't feel it, just notice it. It's an awareness. And if we can become aware of these emotions from different angles, we can learn. And that's the whole basis of timeline therapy, being able to let your unconscious mind learn what it needs to learn from the very root cause of this issue. When it learns what it needs to learn, the emotion, and the limiting belief attached to that emotion, that event, that very first event, the root cause of all of this. Well, it just disappears because you have what you needed to learn. And when you have those learnings, the emotion is no longer appropriate, it doesn't, it's not needed. The emotions are only there because you haven't learned from it. But that requires you going to see someone who is a practitioner of timeline therapy. And if you can find one, and there are loads and loads of them out, you will get the respite you need. You'll be free, free to go and find some more issues. So I'd suggest that. But there's a but and an and. If you go there, great, but what we're going to do, these two steps are going to help anyway. And even if you haven't got an issue, you can imagine an issue from the past and work in these two steps to understand the processes too. Maybe you'll learn a little bit more about what happened in the past. And maybe you just let those little echoes go too. So here's what I want you to do. And it's be about being honest, honest, first of all, step one, honest with ourselves. Now this is ever so easy. Because what I want you to do, it's going to mean closing your eyes, you don't have to close your eyes. But if you close your eyes, it just makes it that little bit more easier. Because there's less distractions around. And you can focus, focus on the process, because that's what I want you to do. Give yourself permission to spend a few minutes playing with this process, because we're going to have fun doing it. Serious fun. And then just let it go. So if it's okay with you, remember, I'm a therapist, but not your therapist. But we're just going to learn. Here's what I want you to do. Let's imagine in front of you there's another you. Well in fact it's you, but it's this issue, this thing that you've been pushing down, you don't want to, you know, you've been getting away from it, but now it's here. Just ask, just notice, become aware that you can have that issue in itself, be in front of you. May have a shape, may have a colour, might even look like yourself, who knows? It'll be what it'll be and it is what it is. It might be that you just have an awareness of the essence and the energy of that issue in front of you. So it's anything from awareness to being aware of something else there and just sit with that for the moment. This is like just becoming aware of your issue, acknowledging it. So you just acknowledge it. Maybe you want to thank it. You go, what? Thank it? Yeah, because it's trying to do something for you, hasn't gone away, it's been persistent, it's been consistent, because it wants to help you. Now, what we're going to do is ask this issue a question in a moment. Why do we ask it a question? Because we want to either find the answer, because when we get the learnings, things disappear. Or we're going to loosen the model of the world, loosen that issue just a little bit by giving it the acknowledgement that it needs, then it can start helping you in a different way. Especially when you ask this question or two questions. There's two questions I want you to ask of this issue. Maybe think of it as a part of you that's running this issue. That's another way to look at it or be aware of it. There's a part of you that's running this issue. Because that's how we talk sometimes, isn't it? There's this part of me that just keeps doing this. Well, have that part come out in front of you. If that's an easy way to become aware. So you say, ask that part to come out in front of you and ask, what can I learn from you? What do you want me to know? The learnings of which and the knowings of which will allow these negative emotions, maybe the limiting belief and inappropriate behaviours to just disappear because I'll have what I need to learn, what I need to know. And sit with that for a moment. Just sit with it. Notice the response you get. And it might be just like an understanding. Just an understanding. Yeah, just do that. What do you want me to learn? What do I need to know? The knowing of which, the learning of which will allow you to disappear. Because I'll have what I need to learn and know. There, that's, you know, you're asking lovely questions. Acknowledging that there is something to learn. You've thanked that part. For looking after you, for keeping you safe. But it's time to stand down. And notice what you get. Maybe you do get a voice, like a conversation. Maybe it's just an understanding, an awareness, an intuition. And if you don't get one now, I think you'll get an understanding when maybe you're just doing something completely different. Maybe just going for a walk, maybe being quiet. You'll suddenly get, oh, now I understand. And you can just thank it and let it go. Now there is another question, another question you can ask. Because sometimes, that part of you, the part of you that's running this little issue, been pushed down so long. It's been ignored, isn't it? You've been pushing it away. But sometimes if we ask this other question, simple little question, but this time it's like roles reversed. You're saying, well, what can I do for you? What would you like me to do for you? What is it you need from me that will allow you to support me in a better way? Allow me to be safe in a more, in a comfortable way? What is it you need from me? What can I do from you? And once you say that, let my words, if need be, become your voice to that part of you. What can I do for you? And just listen. Listen with all your senses. Maybe you'll see something in your mind's eye. Maybe you'll hear what it needs. Maybe you'll feel intuitively, just understand what this part needs from you. When I do this, a lot of the times I just get, please acknowledge me. Just this thank you, but just acknowledge me for being here. I've felt ignored for such a long time because this part of you could be so young. Just acknowledge me and that's it. Recognise me. And sometimes when I do this, most of the time I do this and I get that, it's as if everything just disappears. And I feel so different. I feel resourceful. I feel open. And then I can feel gratitude. Gratitude for that part of me and gratitude for the whole of me. Yeah. So that's one, one simple step. Just sit there for a moment. That's right. And you can obviously repeat this if you want to go and maybe, well, I've listened to this because I wanted to understand the process Paul, but I'm going to come back. I'll just bookmark that, that point in time of this episode and then come back to that. And here's a second step though. Now, what I've said to you right at the very beginning is being vulnerable to others, being honest with others, how you feel, how, because you'd like to share it with somebody. You'd like someone, maybe just a little bit of advice, a little bit of help. And that's, as I said to you, and I did swear, I said, it's fucking hard. You know, you might be embarrassed, you know, because people, you think people think of you in one way, you know, and you, I'm embarrassed that to admit that I'm feeling this particular way. Well, the second step is so wonderful, so easy and wonderful. Is there somebody who you would like to share this with? And the beauty of this, this wonderful genius step is it doesn't have to be somebody, you know, but well, there may be someone who you respect in your, in your company, you know, you're the people that you know, friends that you just know would help. And that's cool. We could pick one of those or pick the one, but say there's somebody who you really respect that you haven't met. You've maybe read an autobiography, read about them, maybe seen them on YouTube. Maybe you've seen them on videos or whatever. But there's somebody who you really respect. Maybe they've gone through the type of issue that you're pushing down that you haven't told anybody about. And you can pick them because this is what we're going to do. And it's a lovely process. It's called perceptual positions if you want to know what the NLP process is that I'm using. But here's what we're going to do. You see, you're looking...
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FMQ 525 They Don't Know I'm Suffering
02/05/2026
FMQ 525 They Don't Know I'm Suffering
They Don't Know I'm Suffering We talk a lot about vulnerability these days — maybe too much, and often in the wrong way. In this Five Minute Quickie, I challenge the idea that vulnerability means oversharing or spilling everything too soon. Because for most people who are suffering — anxiety, overwhelm, feeling broken, or just “not quite right” — the real issue is this: People don’t know what’s going on inside. And we’re embarrassed to tell them. This episode plants the seed for a deeper dive into: Why “suck it up” beliefs don’t keep you safe How your unconscious mind is trying (and failing) to protect you A healthier, simpler way to understand vulnerability What freedom from inner suffering could feel like This is for everyone — whether you’re suffering a little, a lot, or not right now at all. The deeper dive is coming next. Please share this with others so we can all come together on the longer episode Shine Brightly 🌟 Paul Hey there! I’d love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at . Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review . Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit . Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to . Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure. Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on , Castbox, , YouTube, or on our . Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨ Music Credits Music by from , Music by from , Music by from , Music by from , Music by from . And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism Hey, welcome to the five minute quickie. Well, it's not five minutes, but it's a seed for a longer, deeper dive into something that I think is quite serious. You see, I get confused. I am confused. Why am I confused? Because every man, every man, his dog, wife, family, relations, talk about vulnerability, bloody vulnerability. It's over-talked. And to me, it starts, and the way they talk about it, it starts too far in. And those who follow that, and when I say follow that, I mean, they go overboard, don't they? And it's embarrassing. They give out so much personal stuff. And it's intense. And it's probably too soon. And it's just too much information. Too much. And it becomes embarrassing because what do you do? What do you do when you hear it? You know, for me, it's like, and I'm a therapist, not their therapist, but, and I could go into therapy mode, but I think, you know, this is not the, we're in the, maybe in a bar, pub. This is just too much. Sometimes you've only just met the buggers and it's like, gosh, you see, this is what I think in reality, when we suffer issues, experiences, you know, they could be large, could be small. Doesn't really matter inside. We would like other people to know that we are suffering because you can't see it. Can you? It's not as if you're limping or something like that. It's inside. You're suffering inside, large or small. Could be just anxiety. Could be, could be something massive. And they don't, don't know. And we just, we would like people to know, don't you? You do. I do. I know I do. I feel, you know, I'd love to be able to speak to you, but no, no, no, no. You see what happens is I think it's embarrassing to say it. It's embarrassing to let it out, you know, because we've got these things called like, suck it up, suck it up, buttercup. You know, you push it down, push it down, man up, woman up, get on with life. Just get on with it. And then there's old limiting beliefs. Those old limiting beliefs that go, well, they'll think less of me. They won't understand me. They just, you know, if I show weakness, that's a real bad thing. And it isn't by the way, it isn't. But here's the thing. They are all excuses. They're excuses. And you're choosing to use those excuses. And now in my notes, I thought to myself, fuck, that's hard, Cluffy. That's a hard one to take. But I have to take it myself because I do the same thing. And when I look back and I can look at myself in like a meta position, I can say, yeah, he chose to do that because who else chose? Who else chose to say those things, do those things or not say those things and suck it up, push it down. We chose. Now I'm not saying necessarily we chose consciously. I don't think we do. We just do it because they're like limiting beliefs. Those limiting beliefs are in there and they just, they just kick off, don't they? They get triggered. So it's unconscious. So it's an unconscious choice, but your unconscious mind is your unconscious mind. It's choosing, but it's choosing for you for a wonderful reason. Don't feel very good. Don't feel wonderful, but it's a wonderful reason trying to protect you. And it's given us all this bullshit beliefs. I call it bullshit because we could call them limiting beliefs, but they're bullshit beliefs and all that self-talk, but it's trying to protect you for your own good, but it's not working, is it? Because you see, this is my thought. You have a thought. You have a thought, Cluffy? Yeah, I have a thought about what vulnerability really is or could be in my mind. You see, I think it's more to do with honesty and that's not being straight with others or not straight with others. You know, it's about something else, which I'll go into in a minute. And that's where we're going to dive deeply into on that longer, deeper podcast of that episode. You see, I've got a plan. I've also got a process that I think just might make the difference. And what do I mean by that? Well, first of all, let's go back a little bit, rewind. Who is this episode for? The longer, deeper dive? Well, in my mind, it's bloody everyone. You see, it doesn't matter whether you're suffering a little, got a little bit of anxiety, got a little bit of this, a little bit of that, or you're suffering a lot. Or you're not suffering at the moment because there's always a time that you might, you see. And I want to deep dive into those beliefs, those limiting beliefs, those suck it up beliefs and all that stuff, and how they're not keeping you safe. How, although it's a wonderful intention to keep you safe, the behaviours and the beliefs and all that BS stuff is now no longer appropriate. It's no longer working. And how do you know it's not working? How do you know? Just have a little think. Have a little think that you know it's not working. And I'll tell you for why. It's because it doesn't feel comfortable. It doesn't feel safe. And if it doesn't feel safe, it doesn't feel comfortable, then it's not working. But we do want to feel safe, don't we? We want to be safe in the world. We want to be comfortable in the world. We want to let go of issues so we can really be, really be safe. We don't want to hide behind these things and keep our issues. We want to let them go. And that's how in the longer, deeper dive, we want to, in effect, explain to your unconscious mind what it's trying to do is a wonderful thing. However, it's no longer working. Let's find a better way. And you see, it's all about simpleness, simple ways. We know in simplicity, there is genius. In simplicity, there is genius. In simplicity, there is genius. Keeping everything in a nice, easy way so we can understand it consciously, and our unconscious mind can understand it even more better. And you see, we're going to use some lovely, simple steps that work to get you or your friend back from feeling broken. Because we do sometimes we feel broken, we can feel anxious, we can feel every bloody syndrome in the world. We get depressed. We get, you know, don't want to leave the house. I don't want to meet people, social anxiety in every way, shape or form. And they grow. If they don't get tapped, they can grow, they can get more intense. And even if they are intense, we can still work on this. So that's who we, that's who it's for. And I want you to be the person who you really want to be, who you really are. You know, let's let this go and be that person. And we can be vulnerable. But in a special way, we can be honest in a special way. I mean, just for a moment, just for a moment. Just before I go, if you're suffering a little, if you're suffering a lot, even if you're not suffering, but you could imagine that if you were just for a moment, just for a moment, take a breath and imagine what it would feel like to be free, to be free of issues and to have the tools to deal with any issues that came knocking on your door. What would that feel like? Just feel it now for a moment. Imagine it, make it up, make it up to just get an idea, idea what it would feel like, because we're showing our unconscious mind, this is a great feeling. And with this great feeling, I could probably do a lot more than I'm doing. And I can do it in a way that creates wonderful results. Then I get lucky, serendipity comes knocking on my door and all these opportunities keep coming. And I start to be my real self, my real me. So that's where we're going. That's the seed. So you know, come back to me, come back to the road. You can keep that feeling as long as you want, by the way. But that's the feeling I'm looking for to start off with, sowing the seed of what's possible. So if you're in any way, if you're part of everyone, either with a small issue, with a big issue or no issue at all, but it doesn't matter. You never know. It could be a friend you're looking, listening for and looking for. Just get to the next deeper dive and we'll have some fun. Because change can be fun, by the way. Serious fun, but it's fun nevertheless. So come with me on that deeper dive, on the next deeper dive. Come and sit with me for a spell. We love that way. Sit with me for a spell. Sit with me for a change. Come and listen for a change. Because change could be easy. It can be comfortable. So let's do that. Come to the longer podcast, the longer episode where we do the deep dives. Do subscribe, please. Press that subscribe button only because I want you to have that longer episode come straight into that device that you listen to, that you don't miss it. It's always there. And if there's anything that you want to dive into, just send me an email. Feedback at personaldevelopmentunplugged.com. That's me and we'll get into it. So until the next time, my friend, on that deeper dive and all the rest, have more fun than you can stand. And I'll see you, hear you. No, you'll hear me on the deeper dives. Bye-bye now. Transcribed by . Personal development [self improvement] [self development] [NLP] [Hypnosis]
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#473.1 Your Hypnosis track to Bliss and Joy
02/01/2026
#473.1 Your Hypnosis track to Bliss and Joy
Your Hypnosis Track to Bliss and Joy So following on from episode #473 Experiencing Joy and Bliss - A Creative Visualisation, I have remastered the visualisation process into a deep hypnosis track to engage your unconscious mind even more. It's only around 20 minutes long so we can all find time to experience deep feelings of Bliss and Joy and use them to direct our unconscious mind to find more in the waking world. Yay! If you've already signed into the complimentary 60+ hypnosis and NLP track,s then use the same link and it'll be at the top of the list. If you haven't yet signed up (no credit card or personal details asked), go to and get all that free personal development 'stuff'. And it's all downloadable, so you can use it anywhere and anytime. Please share Enjoy Shine Brightly 🌟 Paul Hey there! I’d love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at . Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review . Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit . Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to . Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure. Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on , Castbox, , YouTube, or on our . Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨ Music Credits Music by from , Music by from , Music by from , Music by from , Music by from . Personal development [self improvement] [self development] [NLP] [Hypnosis]
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#473 Experiencing Joy and Bliss - A Creative Visualisation
01/30/2026
#473 Experiencing Joy and Bliss - A Creative Visualisation
Experiencing Joy and Bliss - A Creative Visualisation What if joy and bliss weren’t things you had to chase… What if they were already inside you, waiting to be remembered? In this deeper episode of Personal Development Unplugged, Paul guides you through a powerful creative visualisation designed to help you experience joy, bliss, and deep personal pride – not just think about them. This is not about forcing positivity or pretending everything is perfect. It’s about sending a clear emotional signal to your unconscious mind: “This is how I want to feel.” Using imagination, memory, sensory awareness, and gentle NLP-style anchoring, you’ll explore what joy truly feels like for you – and how that feeling can begin to influence your future choices, goals, and direction in life. This episode works best when you can set aside around 20 minutes with no distractions. It’s an internal experience – subtle, safe, and deeply personal. In this episode, you’ll: Discover why feelings, not goals, are the real compass of personal development Experience a guided creative visualisation for joy, bliss, and personal pride Learn how imagination can bypass internal resistance and unlock change Anchor empowering emotional states you can access whenever you choose Begin building a “base camp” for future growth and deeper work Explore how joy can become a signal your unconscious mind follows This episode gently sets the foundation for upcoming deeper dives into joy, purpose, and removing what gets in the way of feeling truly alive. Best enjoyed somewhere comfortable, safe, and uninterrupted with headphones Your Key Takeaways Your unconscious mind often knows more than your conscious plans Joy and bliss are states, not rewards Imagination is a valid and powerful route to emotional change You can consciously anchor empowering feelings Feeling good isn’t selfish – it’s ecological Your Call to Action Subscribe so you don’t miss the upcoming deeper dives Share this episode with someone who could use more joy in their life Explore Paul’s hypnosis and visualization tracks at paulcloughonline.com/podcast Send feedback or suggestions to Shine Brightly 🌟 Paul Hey there! I’d love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at . Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review . Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit . Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to . Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure. Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on , Castbox, , YouTube, or on our . Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨ Music Credits Music by from , Music by from , Music by from , Music by from , Music by from . Music by And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism Hi there, just before we dive into exploring bliss, joy, I just wanted to say this is like creative visualisation. So you may, well maybe closing your eyes, it's certainly maybe better to do that so we can really get in touch with some intense feelings of joy and bliss and wonderful personal pride. So to that end, if you're doing things or have things that need your attention, it's probably best to listen to this at another time, put say 20 minutes aside, because that's all it's going to take. So where you can just be comfortable and listen, inside, outside, but nothing that needs your attention. Okay, just want to say that before we start, because I want you to enjoy this experience. So intense and have a wonderful experience too. Okay, so here we go. So as we move into a new year, and it doesn't really matter whether we're moving into a new year or not, I wanted to explore something first. Because I always think that we're not clever enough to know exactly what we want. You, me, we think we do. We have this idea, this aim of the things we'd like to do, the things that maybe we think will give us the passion or follow our passion, our meaning, our purpose, and we give it a damn good go. But sometimes I think our unconscious mind knows more. And in fact, while we're focusing on where we think we're going, our unconscious mind can use our peripheral vision so much more to see opportunities that we don't see, that will actually give us more meaning in life, more passion. And how do we direct that? Well, I think it's all about feelings. How do we want to feel? Now, as long as this feeling, and the behaviours that give us this feeling are good for us, either going to be healthy, going to be safe, good for other people. So we're not doing it, you know, one for us and not for you. It's good for other people too. People around us, people we love, people we don't even know, but it's good for them. And it's good for little old planet Earth. And if we get that right, and that feeling will give us all of that, then I think your unconscious mind will find even more benefits, as it were, more opportunities, things that we weren't aware of. It's like those aha moments, those sudden fits of intuition that you go, ah, oh yeah. Oh, this makes sense. Oh, what a coincidence. Serendipity has hit me again. And that's how I think those happen. So before we go on to deeper dives, I thought it'd be nice just to, to find out what joy is for you, for me, for you. It might be, and I have to say, there's a gap there because it's you. If I say what, what I think joy is for you, then that would be my joy. This one, I get this wonderful feeling when I get joy, that I'm just alive in my body. I feel right, if right's the right term. I just feel good. I feel I'm in the right place. I feel super competent in what I'm doing. And I'm enjoying what I'm doing in the flow, in the moment. So what might it be for you? Because there's only me and you here. Now, sometimes you might not be able to come up with what you think it is. Because when you think about it, joy, and I've put joy and bliss together. Joy, bliss. Sometimes we can't admit to the feeling. Because when we admit to what the feeling of joy and bliss is, we have to also admit that we haven't got it. And I think that's okay. Because one thing about it is, it'll always, or can be, just a little bit better. So you can have the most wonderful joy and bliss, knowing that as you live your life in joy and bliss, we can just have it a little bit more intense. Make it a little bit. So it's okay. And this is something we're just going to do in our mind, I guess. So we can just imagineer it. And when we imagineer things, it doesn't really matter, does it? Because we're just thinking, making things up. And sometimes you'll remember, remember times of joy and bliss. And if you do, awesome. And we can take that further. Or we can just imagine it. Make it up. And I'm happy with making it up. Because when we make up how joy and bliss feels, it comes from us anyway. So in some ways, we are getting through that barrier, that filter, and allowing it to come to our mind, just through the power of imagineering. Or we can do both at the same time. So we use our remembering skills and then spice it up. Or we can spice up the feeling and suddenly allow a memory that may just go with it too. Either way and every way, it's okay. So if you're happy to come with me, just to examine, just to explore joy and bliss. And who wouldn't want to do that? Just put some time aside. Because this feeling we're going to explore is like a direct message, encrypted, no one knows, message to your unconscious mind. That this is how I want to feel. And I'm not going to suggest that you close your eyes now. I'm not going to suggest that. But you could. If you want to close your eyes now, that's no problem. But I'm not going to suggest that. I'm not even going to suggest that you simply let them close all by themselves when they're ready to close now. Or you could try to keep them open as long as you can before they close. You choose. It's your choice. But as you sit and listen intensely, with a feeling of maybe just curiosity. What does curious and curiosity feel like? Can you remember a time when you were curious? When you were so interested? And with a sense of curiosity, maybe. Maybe you could recall a time of the past. A time of the past that when you think about it now, it filled you with so much personal pride. So much personal pride. You felt the real you. Recall a time in the past. Or imagine now what that would feel like. To feel an immense feeling of personal pride. Because we mentioned two words together, pride and joy. You're my pride and joy. So when we're feeling so much personal pride, maybe that's the time when we feel joy, bliss. Or maybe just imagine now what that would feel like. Where would you feel it? Would you feel it all over? Would you maybe just feel it in your heart? Maybe you could feel your heart beating beating with joy, bliss, pride. So much. So intense. Maybe you can feel a warmth, a temperature. Some people feel it as a color. Maybe you just feel it. Feel it so intensely. And as you do feel it, to feel that joy, the bliss, so much personal pride flowing through every cell of your body. I wonder what color it does have. What would you imagine that color to be? When you have so much joy and bliss pumping around you. Your heart literally filled with joy and bliss. Feel it. Feel it now. Now you can feel the temperature with that color. Your whole body, the whole you radiating this joy, this bliss. Not just on the inside, you just know secretly you're radiating joy, bliss, intense personal pride. And as you feel all of that, I want you to wonder. You may even say these words with me. I wonder what it would be like if this feeling was doubled. Yeah. Imagine having this feeling now in everything you do. Would that be good? Hell yes, that would be good, wouldn't it? Imagine having it, this feeling, bliss, joy, intense personal pride in everything you do. When you're by yourself, with yourself, with your loved ones, with your friends, your colleagues, just being, filled with this feeling of joy, bliss, intense personal pride. Here's a question for you. Feeling this wonderful feeling that's already doubled. Could you stand to double it again now? Double it and double it. And use every part of you to remember this now. Remember it consciously, remember it unconsciously. I want your unconscious mind to remember this, to know when you feel this feeling. This is pure safety, the feeling of healing, the feeling of living your passion, the feeling of, that's right, the feeling of that. Imagine having this feeling in everything you did and everything that you do. So when you look to the future, how enticing it will be, knowing that you will be bringing to the world this wonderful feeling of joy, bliss, intense personal pride. And when you review, knowing how this joy, bliss, intense personal pride has created the most wonderful parts of the past. So just sit in this joy, bliss, personal pride, intense personal pride, just for a moment longer, so you can really remember this. Now I don't know if you want to take your little finger and your thumb and just gently squeeze them together to anchor this feeling. Or you could just put a finger on the back of a knuckle and as you feel this feeling, you can begin to slide it gently up the knuckle towards your wrist. And as you do that, intensify this feeling. And then come back to that knuckle and then slide it up again and make that feeling even more intense. So every time in the future, when you press that knuckle and slide your finger towards your wrist, you get this feeling even more intense. So you can use it as your intentional anchor. I don't know. Everything is choice. And what would you do and be able to do, having this feeling and the most wonderful positive intentions to create the real you, the ultimate vision of you, following your purpose with passion, every mission that you take on, filled with joy, bliss and ultimate intense personal pride. What would that do? And then I'm not going to suggest, I'm not going to suggest you, if you did close your eyes, you can open them now. And maybe if you didn't close them, you can open them even wider and just, well, just think about spelling your surname backwards or your telephone number backwards, or just looking around and smiling at the world, just to get back into our normal state, knowing that you can go and think about this joy, this bliss, this intense personal pride feeling. More often, because the more you think about it, the more you're telling your unconscious mind, this is the way to go, please. This is what I want to feel in all the things that we do. And if you were to think about that in your goals, your aims, your directions in life, for all different areas of your life, all those different contexts, how would your life be when you look back at it and go, yeah, so you can look forward now. But the things you're doing today, the things you're doing tomorrow, the things you're doing next week, and imagine as you think about them being successful, you could just squeeze that little finger and thumb together, or just slide from that knuckle and feel that intense feeling of bliss, joy, and notice how that changes your way of looking at the world and your goals, your dreams. And that's where we're going to dive into creating joy and all these things, or finding out if there's anything stopping us feeling this intense personal pride, joy, and bliss in everything that we do. Then we'll find a process for it. But I just wanted to dive into this gently and easily, just so we've got a base camp, as it were, of where we're going and where, if you can feel it now, you've already got it. It's a matter of letting it out into the world, isn't it? Opening the doors, opening something in your heart to allow this to happen. Your choice. I hope you enjoyed that, and I'll see you on the next shorter podcast, which is the five-minute quickies, which are about 10 minutes sowing the seed for where we're going in the deeper dives, so you can really prepare yourself and look forward to it. Hope you do. If you did enjoy this type of interlude, I'd love you to let me know. Feedback at personaldevelopmentunplugged.com. That's the email address to use. I'd love to hear what you thought. And if there's anything you think, ways that I can improve this, I know there's millions of ways, but if there's something that either bugs you or you think, well, if you could really enhance it by doing this, Cloughie, I'd love to hear that too, on that same email address. Feedback at personaldevelopmentunplugged.com. Remember to subscribe so you don't miss these. And if you would share this, so other people can start to start their life, their day, their morning, their hour, their minute, with a feeling of joy, bliss, intense personal pride, that would be awesome. So please share the episode. Until next time, my friend, have more joy, bliss, intense personal pride, and you can stand. Enjoy. Bye bye now. Transcribed by . Personal development [self improvement] [self development] [NLP] [Hypnosis]
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FMQ 524 Heading For Joy - Wanna Come With Me
01/23/2026
FMQ 524 Heading For Joy - Wanna Come With Me
Heading For Joy - Wanna Come With Me What if personal development wasn’t about fixing what’s wrong… but about deliberately heading for joy? In this Five Minute Quickie, I share where we’re heading next on the Personal Development Unplugged journey — and it’s all about creating a life that feels worth living. A life with joy, intention, and chapters you’re proud of. We explore: Why joy might be the most underrated success metric The “book inside you” and how you’re already writing it A different take on vulnerability (not the over-sharing nonsense) Why empathy isn’t quite what people think it is A powerful question about suffering… and why you don’t have to do it alone This episode sets the direction for the deeper dives to come — using mindset, imagination, and inner work to let go of suffering and create more joy, one seed at a time. If you’re up for less struggle, more meaning, and a lot more joy… come with me. Oh! And bring others along, too, by sharing this Shine Brightly 🌟 Paul Hey there! I’d love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at . Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review . Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit . Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to . Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure. Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on , Castbox, , YouTube, or on our . Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨ Music Credits Music by from , Music by from , Music by from , Music by from , Music by from . And Will Marshall And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism FMQ 524 Heading For Joy - Wanna Come With Me You're going to come with me? You see, I'm trying to set out a few episodes ahead now. Give you an idea of where we're heading. And obviously, personal development is an intention, isn't it? You have your own intention of where you want to go. But to me, sometimes it's more about how you want to feel. And if you think about it, if you've got joy in your life, you're doing pretty well. And you'll probably be doing things that are really, really good because they're providing joy in your life. So, think about it. I want you to think about a few things before we head into the deeper dives. Here's the things I want you to think about. You see, everyone has a book inside them. Well, not everyone wants to write a book. Do you want to write a book? Hmm. But in a deeper dive, I want to uncover the book that's inside you. Because there is one. You're living the bloody thing. And with a little bit of hypno, hypnosis, maybe visualisation, a little bit of internal work, we can find out the remaining chapters of your book. So, you don't have to write it. But what you have to do is live it and create the chapters of your life to come. So, at the end of the book, you can say, yeah, that's a life well lived. I lived it with passion. I lived it with intention. And I'm fucking proud of me. Yeah, and that's what I want for you. So, that'll be one of the deep dives we're doing. Then, this is what gets me sometimes. These thought leaders. These fucking influencers. You know, they spout off about, you have to live a life of vulnerability. You have to be oh so bloody vulnerable, spilling your guts out, spilling your life out to anybody and everybody, because that's the only way to live. Is it? Have you ever been with anybody who gives too much, too soon? It's embarrassing, isn't it? And it's not comfortable, is it? It's not a comfortable place to be. So, where are we going to go? Well, I have a different way of being vulnerable and how to work with vulnerability. And yes, we'll dive into it. And of course, I'm going to say it again, probably say it again, with a little bit of hypnosis, with a little bit of visualisation and just diving deep into our unconscious mind. So, that's another deep dive. So, what else? You see, I want to talk about empathy, because empathy is a good thing to have. Is it? Well, sort of. It's a bloody buzzword. I hear so many people on podcasts go, oh, let's be empathetic, let's do this, let's... It's all got to be empathy. Empathy, empathy, empathy. And you see, it is important-ish, but not in the way most people think. And I want you to be empathetic in a different way. And I'm going to deep dive in that too, so you can understand how you can use empathy. And you'll find that that will also link into that book inside yourself. And living the chapters and creating the chapters, it will link into being vulnerable. It all goes in. You see, I heard this wonderful, wonderful, bloody statement, and it was an awesome statement. So awesome, I might even repeat it twice. And there's a swear word in it. And the statement is this. What is your capacity for suffering alone here? And why the fuck should you? That was the statement. I'm going to repeat it. What is your capacity for suffering alone here? And why the fuck should you? You see, in this version of personal development, the unplugged version, my version, it's all about letting go of suffering and finding joy in your life. And that's my intention, for me, to find more joy in my life. And as I work through it, I want to share it with you. So you can find the tools that I use, the tools that I have used, the tools I use with my clients, and processes that just create more joy in our life. Now, if that's all we do in 2026, I think that might spill into a few more years after that. But if all we do is create joy in our lives, what will it be like? Here's another question. Because firstly, you won't be suffering alone unless you suffer joy. And suffering joy must be a damn good thing to do. But when you have joy in your life, the people around you get to be around you when you're joyful. And that's really good for them. Good for them in so many different ways. They get to feel joy. They get to see someone being joyful. And they can learn from it. You can be that shining example, shining lights into little cracks into their life to show them where joy can come from. And being joyful, it means we're going to be good for little old planet Earth. And you get those three together, we are totally ecological. That's right. So imagine if you could, just for a moment, before I go, what does joy feel like? If everything was to disappear from your life, every negative emotion, every limiting belief, was disappeared just for a second or two. Just imagine it now disappearing for a second or two. Right now. What would joy feel like? And what would happen if that feeling of joy was to keep doubling every day, every week? You were finding more joy in more things. And it doesn't have to be boom joy. It could be that little seed of joy. There you go. And you have that little, little seed of joy just bursting through. That would be a good life to have, I think, wouldn't it? So that's where we're heading. Well, that's where I'm going. You want to come with me? Cool. If you don't, well, at least I've given you the heads up and you're not going to waste your time with me. But if that's where you want to go, come along. Subscribe so you don't miss any of them because one of those might be the one thing, the one thing that makes a difference, the difference that makes a difference. Subscribe. Share this with other people. You know I say that every time. That's the only payment is to pay it forward because it's no point in just having joy in your life. I like being around people who have joy in their life too. Let's share all this with everybody and have fun. So come with me every week. We'll sow the seeds and then we'll do the deep dives. Have more joy than you can stand every day. Till the next time my friend. Boom! We go deep diving. Transcribed by . Personal development [self improvement] [self development] [NLP] [Hypnosis]
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#472 If You Thought This Was Bad
01/16/2026
#472 If You Thought This Was Bad
If You Thought This Was Bad Including deep hypnosis If you thought this was bad… it isn’t. And that’s actually good news. In this deeper dive, I’m talking honestly about what happens when life feels overwhelming, when things get pushed down instead of talked through, and why “suck it up, buttercup” is one of the biggest myths we’ve ever been sold in personal development. This episode is about not being broken, even when you feel like you are. It’s about understanding that feeling low, anxious, lost, or like a failure is not the end — it’s a starting point. A platform to move from, not a prison to live in. Inside this episode, we explore: Why suppressing emotions only makes things worse How feeling “not good enough” can actually be the best place to begin change The difference between pity and genuine support Why imagination is one of your most powerful tools for transformation How to reconnect with the best version of you — even if you can’t see it yet And embedded within this episode is a deep guided hypnosis / guided imagery process designed to help you: Let go of limiting beliefs and emotional weight Reconnect with your inner strengths and qualities Experience what it feels like to be your best self Begin acting as if change is already underway You don’t need to be “fixed”. You don’t need to be perfect. You just need the right tools — and a bit of encouragement. What You’ll Experience A safe, grounded hypnosis process (eyes closed, no distractions) Powerful imagery to reconnect you with confidence, ease, and self-belief A reminder that growth doesn’t have to be hard — it can be fun Practical encouragement to start using the tools you already have And I’ve got your back. Call to Action If this episode resonated: Subscribe so you don’t miss future episodes Share this podcast with someone who might need it Pay it forward — growth shared is growth multiplied Shine Brightly 🌟 Paul Hey there! I’d love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at . Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review . Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit . Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to . Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure. Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on , Castbox, , YouTube, or on our . Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨ Music Credits Music by from , Music by from , Music by from , Music by from , Music by from . And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism transcript copy #473 If You Thought This Was Bad So the deeper dive today. Welcome. The deeper dive. If you thought this was bad, you're wrong. If you thought you have to suck it up, buttercup, keep it to yourself. Remember we talked about that on the previous FMQ. You see, it's a new year, isn't it? It's a new year. And some, some people are following or failing in their new year's resolutions. And you know, I hate new year's resolutions with a vengeance. For some, life's shit. It is at the moment. It's too hard. Maybe we've got this belief that I'll never succeed anyway. I shouldn't be here and all that rubbish, all limiting beliefs, one of a positive intention, but they're limiting. And I can remember, I can remember this a long time ago, saying to myself, why the fuck bother, Clive? It's not worth it. Too far down. Can't do it. But when I said that to myself, what I didn't do, I didn't suck it up. I didn't suck it up, buttercup. I wasn't a buttercup and I didn't suck it up, but I did keep it to myself. I did man up by pushing it down. Cause that's what men and women do. We man up, women up and we push things down. We suppress them. Don't tell people about them, do we? We don't say, I need help. Can you help me? Suck it up, push it down. What a load of old bollocks. It's a waste of time. Such a waste of time. Cause it just causes more problems, doesn't it? More problems. You need help. Ask for help. And that's where we're going. Cause if you thought this was bad, it's not. You see, this might be you now, the way I was, and I really just didn't think I was going to make it. And if it isn't you now, cause I didn't think back then that would have been me. I thought I had a pretty good life and then boom, something happened and I got, well, the results were plain to see then. Sucking it up, pushing it down. And even though I thought I was doing it well, people knew. Some people helped. Some people are brilliant helpers. Others, maybe not. Because I wouldn't let them in. I wouldn't let them in. And the thing is, because I didn't feel that way, you might think, well, that'll never happen to me. But just in case, not to put it into your future, but just in case it ever did, here you will have the tools. The tools to make sure that you can deal with it. So remember, suck it up, buttercup. Push it down. Keep it to yourself. It's such a load of bollocks, in the personal development world that is. Unless you're looking for pity. We said this before, if you're looking for pity, this isn't the place. Go to a pity party. But if you, in that pity, think, well, I need a little bit of help. You can stay. You can stay. Because we're here to help everybody. I'm here to help everybody. I'm helping you. I'm helping me. Helping everybody. So, but if you are still here, I want to have a look at those feelings. When I say those feelings, they're like the negative emotions that we experience. Not necessarily all the time. Sometimes we do with anxiety. Sometimes anxiety can be pretty all the time. These negative emotions are never all the time, but they can feel so. Because when we're in that bloody jam jar, can't read the label, we think this is our world. This is our, call it familiar zone. But there's also the thoughts that we have with those negative, attached to those negative emotions, the thoughts, the pictures we make in our mind. That bloody self-talk. We need to look at it differently, don't we? If you've ever seen it, and I haven't seen it lately, there's a lovely t-shirt around and it says, I'm broken. But it also shows a smiley face with a bit of plaster, maybe a couple of stitches and a black eye, but there's still a smile on it. It's still a smiley place. So if you feel broken, a bit like me, if you feel broken, or just a little bit broken, or maybe worried about being broken, or anything to do with broken, basically. If you feel like a failure, maybe feeling that you can't go on, maybe feel that you shouldn't be here. Maybe you think to yourself, why me? Why is it always happening to me? I'll never get out of this. You know what? That's fucking great. And you're going to say to me, Paul, what's great about this? Tell you what's great. We've got a platform. We've got a place to start from. We've got a place to push from. To move away from, towards something brilliant. To create a life where we can access, experience all the wonderful dreams, desires, goals, that at this moment in time, you may not even dare dream them, but you will. You'll be able to imagine them. We're going to go through that in the next episodes as they come along. But even if you don't feel broken, you know, maybe you're just a little bit of a failure. Not that you are, but you might think it. Maybe you get a little bit anxious now and again. Maybe you get that little bit of, don't think I should be here. Who am I? Who am I to even do this? Think about it. Dream about it. Who am I? But that's still a wonderful platform. I'm not good enough. It's a wonderful platform to move away from because we can. And we can go towards, and in my notes, I went dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, because we're going towards whatever you choose. That's the thing. Whatever you choose, where you want to go, what you want to experience, what you want to share, what you want to bring to the world. Yeah, that would be awesome, wouldn't it? So let's think. Let's just acknowledge something. A little swear word coming up. But it's, fuck it, I'm here. I am here. I'm breathing. I'm in this world. I'm above ground. Might have those funny old feelings, funny old beliefs, thoughts. But I am here. Touch yourself, hit you, smack yourself on the heart, head, heart, whatever. You can feel it. Feel your body. You're here. Breathe. We are here in this world. Now, a long time ago, way, way, way back to hashtag 78, it was called opening up, letting you in. And it was my sharing of personal challenges. But in that, I talked about my qualities. It was a process that came to me. I don't think anybody ever else has done it, but maybe they have. Maybe that's where I got it from subconsciously, unconsciously, and I just brought it out for myself when I needed it. But I don't think so. But anyway, it was all about the qualities that I had, and I didn't think I had many. But I think with this platform, let's go back to the qualities that you've learnt. You've learnt via experience. You've learnt by people telling you, reading stuff, looking at stuff, just being in life. So if you want to have a listen to that, I might even do another rendition of it as well, another episode to bring it to life again. But there's also a hypnosis track. Hashtag 78.1, funny enough, called My Qualities. Where do you get that from? Well, it's paulcloughonline.com forward slash podcast. I might even at the end of this, throw in the 90 seconds of hypnosis so you get it all. So don't worry about that, taking a note now, we'll put it at the end of this podcast. But you see, I want you to imagine, because imagination cannot be overrun. It's your imagination. It's only you who controls your imagination. No one else. And you can imagine what you choose, because you don't even have to think it's viable. You don't have to think that it's possible, because it's just bloody imagination. It's like, I wish. Now, if it could be like that, that would be great. I can imagine what it could be like. So I want, maybe, imagine the feeling that you would experience when you're succeeding. When all of this shit in your life has gone. You know, actually being the real you, not the old you, because the old you was part of that stuff that created all those negative feelings, emotions, beliefs, behaviours and all that stuff. Like a desire, like a dreams. But if you were succeeding, if that was all disappear right now, and you could have life the way you wanted it, feel the way you want, be the way you want, behave the way you want, and attract everything that you want. I wonder what that would feel like. Yeah. I mean, we can do this now and we will. But I'd love you to do my qualities, just to get a feeling of how good you bloody are. Because you forget about it, you forget of all the things that you can do, have done. But just think now. Now, I'm going to do it in sort of hypnosis fashion. Because I really, you could call it just guided imagery, if you don't like hypnosis, because that's the same thing. We're just going to do guided imagery. But I want you to relax. I want you to relax and take a breath. But before we do that, remember, I'm a therapist, not your therapist, but this is only guided imagery, because I just want you to experience what it would feel like, what you can create in your mind, of how you want it to feel like when you're succeeding, being the best self. And if you could, I want you to close your eyes in a minute. But if you're going to close your eyes, you're going to listen to this and go into your mind, well, you need to make sure that you're going to be undisturbed. You're not gonna be driving. You know, that would be stupid, wouldn't it? You're not going to be, I don't know what they call it, operating machinery. Don't do that. You want to find, just make sure you're going to be undisturbed. You're going to close your eyes, it won't be too long, maybe 10 or so minutes. But just make sure that you'll be undisturbed. So if that's okay with you, this is what we're going to do. And please remember, I am a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. Okay? Just before you close your eyes, I want you to take a gentle in-breath for the count of four. Now. One, two, three, four. Now hold it for the count of four. Two, three, four. And now let it out to a slow count of eight and allow your eyes to close through all the way to eight. So when you're there, your eyes are closed. And I just want you to breathe gently. Just breathe. In fact, I have a wonderful way of breathing in this state. And it's all about making every in-breath more gentle than the one before. It's so simple. Simple as that. And as you breathe that way, allow your in-breath to take you into a lovely place of comfort. And then as you breathe out, just imagine you're being drawn in to a place of comfort, even more so. So in-breath, you feel good and relaxed. And out-breath, you're just drawn into a wonderful place of comfort. It's your place of comfort. And just imagine going deeper and deeper into that place. And as you do that, just imagine, maybe ask the question, what would it be like to feel twice as comfortable as I do now? What would it be like now? Feel it. And then ask yourself, in this imagination, imaginary, what would it be like to begin to imagine how I want to be? If I could see a me over there, just over there, that's it, being the way I dream of, or could dream of. How do you want to be? Being the best version of myself. And be it over there. What would that look like? What would you see? And access all the powers of your imagination now. See that you over there. See it so clearly. Having let go of all that stuff. Or just become aware of it. Did the work. And now is living the best life. They are experiencing wonderful life. Wonderful things happening. Their best self. Wonderful emotions. Your best self. Not just happiness, but maybe joy. Maybe even bliss. Excitement. Connection. And even dreaming more dreams. Because you can. To create a reality. So every day is a new day for creating even better change. To striving to be an even better you. New opportunities. What does that look like over there? So many new opportunities. Do they have a smile on their face? Do they have a twinkle in their eye? Or even their eyes? How do they breathe? Do they move with an ease and a comfort and a confidence? Just sense it now of who they are. That's right. Just watch them for the moment. Maybe you could imagine even more right now. What else? Even more. As you do that, imagine they begin to walk towards you. And you somehow go towards them. Coming together. And maybe in this wonderful imagineering of yours as one, you can imagine now. You're them. This is me. You're you. This is you. Experiencing life. Just the way you could ever, ever want to be. Feel the physical feelings of being in this body. Walking. The ease of movement. Feel the smile on the inside and the outside. Because you can. Feel the lightness of movement. Maybe feel the excitement. Maybe the joy. The emotions. They're your feelings. You feel them now. Whatever you would feel right now, you're feeling them right now. Of living your best life. Make them even more. And moving towards an even better one. Feel those emotions. See what you'd see in the world. And hear what you'd say to yourself. The encouragement you would give to yourself. Talk about the new dreams that you have. The new opportunities you're going to take. The life that you're going to create for yourself. Because you can. You can. I wonder, if you could access the most powerful positive sets of belief, or beliefs, how would they sound in your head? Hear them now. What would you say to yourself? How would you believe in yourself so positively? And maybe, you could imagine sharing this with other people too. So they too can come on your adventure. Because that's what it is. It's an adventure. We're not quite sure what's going to happen, but we know it's going to be better. Every day. Every breath. A new breath. A new day. To create new things. And feel what that would feel like. To experience the confidence in your competence. Feeling so confident. So good. Imagine that feeling going all the way around your body. Feeling now. From the tips of your toes, to your unconscious nose. Exactly how to trigger this. To create it. That's right. And then, maybe just keeping this feeling. Because you could imagine, maybe now, as when you come back to the now, you could have this feeling and begin to act as if you have it already. So when you go through the processes, choosing the thoughts, the dreams, to act as the of creating this now. You could act as if you have it already. What would that be like? And maybe just say to yourself the immortal words. I call them immortal words. I think they come from Shakti Gawain. This or something better. This or something better. This or something better. And with a wonderful sense of gratitude, you can take a wonderful in-breath. Open your eyes. And go, yeah, I got this. Yeah. So come back into the world. Look around. Feel that lightness. Feel the brightness. And then just think to yourself. So what's the difference between then, that you in the future, but you can act as if now, and now? Well, here's what I thought when I did this. Well, now I'm clueless and I'm toolless. There in the future, I was clued in. I was tooled up. I love that. Tooled up. But right now, you see, you're just not using the tools. You might not have the tools. And that's where the next episodes, my dreams for this podcast is to be able to supply you with the tools, the processes to make change easily or easy and effortlessly. Keep them simple because in simplicity, there's what? Genius. Now you may say to yourself, I have the tools. Well, maybe you have got the tools. But if you're like me, I have to question myself. I've got a lot of tools, but do I use them? Am I being a master of what I know and doing, knowing what I know? Say that again. Knowing what to do and doing what I know. Yeah. Have a think about that. So how do we, and I say we, because it's you and I, make those changes. Now, you see, I think this is just a work in progress. That's me. I'm just a work in progress. I get stuff that comes and still knocks me to the side. I find a tool and I do something about it because I want my life to be better. And I want to be living my...
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FMQ 523 Lets Start Over
01/09/2026
FMQ 523 Lets Start Over
Lets Start Over A brand new year often brings pressure to reinvent everything. But in this Five Minute Quickie, Paul invites you to start over without throwing everything away. This episode is about recommitting — to your growth, your tools, and your intention to become the best version of yourself. Not by chasing pity or staying stuck, but by choosing encouragement, responsibility, and action. With over a thousand episodes behind him, Paul explains why revisiting the fundamentals of personal development isn’t going backwards — it’s how real mastery is built. You may have heard it before… but you’re not the same person listening now. Inside this FMQ, you’ll explore: Why “starting over” doesn’t mean starting from scratch The difference between healthy honesty and unhelpful pity Why reminders are often more powerful than new information How mastery comes from doing what you know — consistently The importance of sharing what you learn to deepen your growth This episode sets the tone for the year ahead: practical tools, encouragement, personal responsibility, and meaningful change — for you, and for the people around you. And if you want a say in where this podcast goes next, Paul invites you to get involved. Let's share this message and ask others to do the same Let’s start over — properly. Shine Brightly 🌟 Paul Hey there! I’d love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at . Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review . Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit . Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to . Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure. Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on , Castbox, , YouTube, or on our . Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨ Music Credits Music by from , Music by from , Music by from , Music by from , Music by from . And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism FMQ 523 Lets Start Over Welcome to a brand new year. Yeah, brand new year. And it's got me thinking because I do like to review where we're going, what we're doing. And that's why the title of this FMQ is Let's Start Over. But I'm not starting over, over. You see, something got me. I heard on... Well, I heard, I think it's a Navy SEALS type thing that they say to themselves. And it's, suck it up buttercup. Keep it to yourself. And I'm going to guess, in a hostile environment, you can't show your emotions. So you do have to suck it up. You do have to keep it to yourself. But then I thought, there's another, another place that we should suck it up buttercup, keep it to yourself. And that's if you're looking for pity. And if you're looking for pity, you don't want to be here. Okay? Because this is a place where I know you and I are looking to change the way we feel. Looking to change the way we think and look to change any limiting beliefs and negative emotions. Well, how we feel, but then those limiting beliefs change what we believe. And maybe we want to have access to tools, help, things that will help us change and encouragement. And that's what I've been thinking about here in this little old unplugged mind of mine. You see, there's over a thousand episodes here in Personal Development Unplugged. Over a thousand. That's massive. Don't know where or how it all came out of this little brain of mine. But the thing is, I want to continue to help. And when I say continue to help, I'm helping me as well. So it doesn't matter where you are on this adventure. This adventure of personal development, self-improvement, looking to be and stretching yourself to be the best version of yourself. Because there's always going to be something here for you. I have challenges. And I've been doing this stuff for bloody years. Still get challenges. But I also have the tools to help me with those challenges. And I want to share them with you. Because you see, on this adventure of personal development, self-improvement, you're looking for your best self. There's a richness in rewards. There's a richness in life. A richness of experience. And that's what I want to share with you. So, in a way, I do want to start over again. Go back. I'm not going to go all the way back to episode number one. No. I want to start delivering new tools. But because I've done over a thousand episodes, doesn't mean we can't go back to the type of things I did talk about. And have talked about. Because they're still valid. And I don't expect you to go back and go, oh, I wonder what Paul was doing on episode 12. But what I do want to do is start to cover those basics again. And also develop them into new stuff. Because even if I go over some of the stuff I've talked about in those last thousand episodes, they're going to be different. The presentation is going to be different. The message is going to be different. Because I'm different. So even if you've heard it before, if you think you know it before, or known about it before, you've learnt it before, couple of things. I will deliver it differently. And you will hear it differently. Because you're different. You've changed. You've come further along this adventure. So we're both different people. We're both with lots of different experience and learnings. And we'll listen and allow different things to come in. So there'll still be an improvement. And the other thing is, it's great to be re-reminded, if that's such a word. Reminded. Of the things that you know. Because, go and think of that mastery. Doing what you know and knowing what you do. Because you might know this stuff, but are you using it? I have that same challenging questions to me. I ask myself, do you remember that stuff you've all learnt? Are you still using it Cloughie? And sometimes I'm thinking, well I hope I'm using it unconsciously. Sometimes when I look back at the videos I can see how I am using some of the things I've learnt unconsciously. They're in the muscle for me. But there's other things I sometimes have maybe left behind and I want to develop again. Make them interesting. So we can use them and really make some headway this year. Really make a difference. Make a difference to you, me. The things that we believe. The emotions that we experience. Experiences in this adventure. Get everything the way we want. And then be able to share it with people. Because when you share it, you really do get mastery. Because then you do know what you're doing and you are doing what you know. And when we share it, we just grow. And sharing in a wonderful way helps other people grow too. Which is so ecological, which has to be the basis of why we want to grow and be our best self. To serve and help others and serve and help this little old planet Earth. Because for fuck's sake, it does need it, doesn't it? There's a lot of shit going on out there. And if we can all do our little little bit, like the old butterfly flapping at one side of the world, creating a storm of change over the other. And if we all flap, we'll make a difference, won't we? So that's where we're going to go. Oh, and the other thing I want to give you, completely free, is all the encouragement you can stand. I want to give you every bit of encouragement because I want you to get your dreams, your goals, your desires. Everything. The full shebang. So, if that is for you, no, suck it up, buttercup. Keep it to yourself. Unless it's pity and you're not going to be here anyway, are you? But if that's for you, we're in for a doozy. A real doozy. And that's starting with next week's deeper, deeper dive. It's going to be exciting. I'm looking forward to it. And one thing is, if you want to influence where we go next year, or this year, I'm recording it last year, now. But if you want to influence the type of things we do, learn, discover, experience, the direction we're going, so they meet your desires, your goals, your dreams and everything else, send me that email. Feedback at personaldevelopmentunplugged.com Just give me a little pointer of the type of things you would like to dive deeper into. That's what I'm going to do. If not, you just have to come with me what comes out of my head. But I'd love your feedback on that. And there's a cost for all of this. As you know, there is a cost. I mean, everything else, you don't actually pay it, in a way. But what you do do is, if you could, pay it forward. Pay it forward. Pay it forward what you learn, share what you learn, and if you could just share this this podcast. If you could, to your friends, your colleagues, but also if you could share it on social media. I know social media is a bit we don't have too much social media but there are people, if we can get them to see where we're going together, what we're going to do. Show them, give them encouragement to come here. And we can just create more of that storm of change. So come sit down for a change. Because it's not magic, but it will be magical. The changes you experience will be magical. If you've got the will to do whatever it takes. And that was on one of the previous hypnosis tracks, wasn't it? The will to do whatever it takes. The secret ingredient of obtaining your your dreams, your goals, your desires, the richness of life. So please pay that forward if you could. And also remember, we're going to be banging out hypnosis and NLP processes as much as I can. My processes as much as I can. So they're really specific into each one. And I'll also if I can, keep putting them on my other site, paulcloughonline.com to where I have all my hypnosis tracks. About 60 something rather, I don't know. There's plenty there. Plenty. Something for all occasions as they say. And if you want to go there now, it's paulcloughonline.com forward slash podcast. And you get your unique link to all of those. To do that, have some fun. So we're going to dive in on the longer podcast. We're going to start over. So get ready to suck it up, and share. Have fun. And I'm going to see you on the deeper one. And every other one. Until then, have more fun than you can stand. Ta-ra. Transcribed by . Personal development [self improvement] [self development] [NLP] [Hypnosis]
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Your Free Hypnosis track from #471 The Secret Ingredient To Being Your best Self
01/04/2026
Your Free Hypnosis track from #471 The Secret Ingredient To Being Your best Self
Your Free Hypnosis track from #471 The Secret Ingredient To Being Your Best Self Let's go deeper than the longer podcast episode with the remixed version of the hypnosis process and install that secret ingredient into your unconscious and conscious minds. It's available for downloading, so you can listen anytime and as many times as you choose. Where Do I Get It? Visit to obtain your unique link. Alternatively, if you already have a link from a previous visit, you can use it. You'll find all this content, plus 60+ other hypnosis and NLP processes, all available with my compliments. Shine Brightly 🌟 Paul Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure. Hey there! I’d love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at . Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review . Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit . Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to . Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on , Castbox, , YouTube, or on our . Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨ Music Credits Music by from , Music by from , Music by from , Music by from , Music by from . Personal development [self improvement] [self development] [NLP] [Hypnosis]
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#471 The Secret Ingredient To Living Your Best Life Including Hypnosis
01/02/2026
#471 The Secret Ingredient To Living Your Best Life Including Hypnosis
#471 The Secret Ingredient to Living Your Best Life Including Hypnosis What if the reason things haven’t quite stuck yet isn’t what you want… but why you want it? In this longer, deeper episode of Personal Development Unplugged, I take you beyond goal-setting, beyond wishy-washy intentions, and right into the one missing ingredient that makes real, lasting change inevitable. This episode includes a guided hypnosis / deep visualisation process designed to help you connect emotionally and unconsciously with the version of you who is already living their best life — and to install the inner resource that makes it all possible. We explore why New Year’s resolutions fail, why motivation fizzles out, and how your unconscious mind can be guided to work for you instead of against you. In this episode, you’ll discover: Why “who do you want to be?” isn’t enough without a powerful why The secret ingredient that turns desire into action How your unconscious mind learns just as powerfully from imagination as reality Why visualising your future self isn’t fantasy — it’s training A practical demonstration showing how imagination rewires behaviour A deep hypnosis process to connect with your future self and install commitment How to access the will to do whatever it takes Why alignment with your values creates effortless momentum How living your best life benefits you, others, and the world around you 🎧 Best experienced with headphones 🔁 Listen more than once to deepen the effect Important note: Please do not listen to the hypnosis section while driving or operating machinery. Choose a safe, quiet place where you can relax fully. Get involved: If there’s an issue you’d like me to dive into with future hypnosis processes, email me at — I read every message myself. And if this episode helped you… please share it. You never know whose life it might quietly change. Shine Brightly 🌟 Paul Hey there! I’d love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at . Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review . Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit . Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to . Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure. Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on , Castbox, , YouTube, or on our . Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨ Music Credits Music by from , Music by from , Music by from , Music by from , Music by from . And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism # 471 the secret ingredient to living your best life with Hypnosis Hey, welcome to the longer episode, the deeper dive on who do you want to be? Do you remember a week ago or the previous episode, the five minute quickie, which was actually 14 minutes, was who do you want to be? And today we're going to do a process. Now it could be a deep hypnosis process, or it could be a light visualization. If you're on the video, it's probably going to be a light visualization. If it's on audio, I'm going to add in some deeper stuff. So your choice. You can always flip between the two. But the thing is, it's not who you want to be. It's bloody why. The why you want to be who you want to be. You see, without your why, there's probably not going to be anything. You might start, you might start in the right direction of who you want to be, who you think you want to be. But then sometimes it'll fizzle out. I'm sure, like me, you do like me, don't you? But just like me, you started something, maybe without thinking too deeply about it. You didn't really think about your intention. You certainly didn't think about what was important about it. It just seemed important at the time, just felt that way. And you went and did it. And what happened? Fizzled out. It's a bit like bloody New Year's resolutions, isn't it? We have to do this thing. We make these lists of what we're going to do. No real conviction, no real importance. I could, I wish, that type of stuff. Wishy-washy wishes. And you see, to get there, you want a secret ingredient. I call it a secret ingredient. It's a secret step, but it's not secret because you've got it inside you. It's a resource that's untapped. It's untapped until you find your why. And when you find your why and what's important, boom. But I'm going to go into that a little bit later. I'm not going to give it all away now because I don't do that. I want you to think at the moment, if you were being who you really want to be, just for the moment, doing the things that the person you want to be would be doing, the desires, the dreams that you have right now, that you over there would be doing it in your mind. Imagine that person in your mind, that ultimate vision of you, the person you want to be is actually there right now doing that stuff. It's achieved everything you want to achieve. The wishes, the dreams, the abundance. And it's not just abundance of financial abundance, which it can be, but it's abundance of riches, experiences, feelings, emotions, things that touch you, touch you on the inside, make you feel awesome. You know, there are experiences like you out there who is doing all the things that you dream of doing, has had a richness of experiences from where you are now to where they are over there. And if you thought about it now, just for a little bit, just let your mind go for this one. I just want you to think for a minute, imagine, just a little bit of imagination. You can have your eyes open because it's just I want you to think for the moment. And you can think in words, you can think in writing words, writing is good. What would they, you be doing? What type of things would they be doing when they are fulfilling your dreams, fulfilling your desires, having this abundance of riches? Think about it now. What type of opportunities would be coming your way in that situation? Because you've achieved all the things you want to do. You've done all the steps. You've created those opportunities yourself. You've accessed the resources that you needed. You've learned what you needed to learn. And you put it into action. You haven't just learned it. You've actually done and used the things you've learned. Because that's mastery, isn't it? Doing what you know, knowing what you do. Think about it now. Imagine it right now. Say you could fly out into the future, right out there, right out to the future, to a time in the future. This is imagination. So it's your time. No one can tell you any different. It's you. It's your imagination. You're in charge. Fly out into the future just for a minute. And if you were to look down over there, there they are, being and doing all the things you've dreamed of. What would they look like? What would they, how would you see? What would be happening to them? Imagine if you could feel it actually there and really being there. How would they move? How would just, how would they be living their life? And I say they, that's you, that you down there in the future. Your best self. Overcome a few issues on the way, maybe. Let go of a load of bloody issues. Let go of things like anxiety, depression, fear, guilt, anything like that. All that stuff that we don't need. A little bit of grief just disappears because now we've got the learnings and now you can see yourself having that abundance, the abundance of life that you dream for. Yeah. You can even feel it now, can't you? I can feel it for you. I can imagine what you're seeing and it's brilliant. Be so proud of yourself over there. You've achieved it. Well, you know, because you use something to get there and it was worth it, wasn't it? Just seeing yourself there. It's so worth it. Putting the effort in, doing the reps, living out your intention with every heartbeat. Just take a moment to take that all in. Yeah. Feels quite good, doesn't it? And that's just imagination. So here's the thing. Come back to now. Come back to now. And just understand now, your unconscious mind likes to work from the past. Your past experiences, because your past experiences is what we learn from. Can't learn from the future, because it hasn't fucking happened. But it loves to use the experiences of the past to create behaviours and beliefs that keep you safe and allow you to get what you want. Sometimes there's a bit of a clash because, you know, it's trying to do something for you and it's not quite working, such as that anxiety, that fear, that guilt, that grief, OCD, all the stuff, all the syndromes you can think of. It's trying to do its best for you. But if we learn from the past, then everything in the now becomes that much better. It allows you to access all the resources that you need to have the life you dream of. And because you, well, you know, I said you can't learn from the future. Thing is, or can you? Can you learn from the future? I believe you can. I told you, you can't. I said your unconscious mind can't. Can't learn from the future. But the thing is, and here's the real kicker, your unconscious mind, your best friend has real problems. Problems in a good way of understanding and realising what's imagined and what's real, because what's imagined appears to be real to your unconscious mind. I'll give you a quick example and it's a really simple example between real and imagined and how things can change. Just imagine you were standing in front of me. In fact, if you're not standing in front of me, stand up. I don't care where you are. Stand up and push both arms in front of you as if you were looking through your fingers in front of you. Just point your fingers out there and just turn to the right. Turn to the right as far as you can go without straining. If you've got a bad back, don't do this at all. But just turn to your right and notice as you look through your fingers, when you're in that furthest point, just make a mental note where you've got to and then bring your arms back and bring them down to your sides. Now close your eyes and don't move your arms, but imagine you're lifting your arms and turning to the right. Imagine going and doing what you've just done in real life, but imagine going six inches, what's that, 15 centimetres, 150 millimetres past that point that you got before. Just imagine going, oh it's so easy to go past that point and then bring your arms all the way back in front of you. Have them come back to your sides and then imagine again, don't move them, eyes closed, just lift them up again. Imagine lifting them up. It's the imagination. Your arms are staying by your sides. Imagine those arms going to the right again, going past that first point, going past that second point, that six inches, 150, whatever it was, and imagine going even further and further and further, as if you can go all the way around to the back of you, like an owl, but with your arms. Imagine it's so easy to stretch all the way around. It's not even a stretch, it's just a movement and you can see all the wall in your mind. Going further and then bring your arms all the way back to the beginning in your mind, allow them in your mind, imagination, to come back to your sides and be in your body again. Now open your eyes, now lift your arms in real life, lift them up again where they are and now turn to the right and notice how far you go. Yeah, isn't it weird? You go further than you could before. And how does that happen? Because your unconscious mind doesn't realise what's real or imagined and you've done it. You've done it in your imagination, so your unconscious mind thinks you've already done it, so you can do it again. See, we've learnt from the future because you haven't done that yet, have you? Yeah, isn't it interesting? It's weird, it's a lovely weird, but now let's just imagine we're going to do it with, say, hypnosis or visualisation depending if you listen to the audio or you're watching. So here we go. Now it's going to be a little bit spacey I guess, just a little bit, because we're going to close our eyes. Because I want you to close your eyes, because I do, and the reason I do is because it's going to take all the distractions away from you, so please do make sure if you're going to close your eyes, you do not need anybody's attention or no one needs your attention. You're not driving, you're not doing nothing like that, that you're working machinery and all that stuff they say about, because we're going to close our eyes and we're going to go deep inside our own mind, into our own imagination, maybe unconsciously, because we're going to guide your unconscious mind into your future self and then we're going to find that one resource, that one resource that you will never use before when you haven't got what you wanted, when you've got what you wanted, you've used it before but you didn't realise it. So now just have a look around, make sure everything is safe and sound, get really comfortable, you can sit down, lay down, do whatever you want, find a comfortable place, as I say, where you'll be undisturbed. Okay, so it's time, time to enter hypnosis. So you found that comfortable place, somewhere where you'll be undisturbed for the next few minutes and as you sit and lay down, you can just breathe normally and I want you to take a wonderful, gentle in-breath for the count of four and then hold it for the count of four. And as you breathe out gently for the count of eight, allow your eyes to close and then breathe normally and as you breathe easily and effortlessly, I want you just for a moment, bring that issue to mind and set your intention to solve it, to let it go, to find a better way. We're going to find better ways and as you do that, begin to start to make every in-breath more gentle than the one before, as you drift down, every in-breath more gentle than the one before, just all the way down. Just going into trance is easy. All you have to do, drifting down, is be prepared to do whatever it takes. As you breathe and want the change, as if you're being drawn inside and I know you want the change, you're drawn inside to that most comfortable place. I know you'll get the results you want where all you have to do is let yourself go and you can do that. Maybe you'll just think of how it'll be and then as we drift past five, we go to four, drifting even deeper down. How soft the muscles around your eyes could be. And what would it be like if they were so soft? And that softness was to spread through every muscle as you breathe out. So with that out-breath you're drawn inside and the muscles just get so comfortable too. Dream of all the things, maybe even dreams. Letting go. Letting go to sleep in trance. Now you can, naturally, nothing, but safe place to dream with your imagination, where we go inside, imagineering. Because imagineering and your imagination is yours and yours alone. Comfortable, lasting change. And as you imagine what you want to have in life, how you want it to be, the emotions you want to feel, you can begin to just notice the muscles behind your eyes. The value, how soft could they be? Pure, wonderful values of life. And those wonderful behaviours. And as you notice they can be even softer than that. You see, you can imagine that softness again will permeate. And that's what you can do with these processes. Just allow them to happen. Comfort can spread, having the will to do whatever it takes. Being drawn into comfort. Maybe how you want to live. Become aware of that place of comfort. And as you become aware of it, it's all over. It begins to spread. Get bigger. That's right. Because this is what it's all about. Being comfortable. Mind is listening to every word I say. So whilst you drift and dream of all those wonderful things you want to have happen in life, your unconscious mind can now find a way to help you. It knows the direction you want to go. And that's all you need to do. With crystal clear action you want to go. You don't need comfort resonating with you. Change. You don't need to know the how. You just need to know the why. Your why. Having the will to do whatever it takes. And your best friend. What will allow you to do? In harmony. And how good would it be for you? And then how good would it be for those around you? Maybe you'll become aware of zero. That's right. Over there. Zero. And as we go into zero. Because in a moment you'll enter and go through zero. And when you do, my words will become your reality. And you'll follow and do everything I say with one caveat. And if I say anything at all which is against your values, your morals or anything you'd ever do, then you'll ignore that suggestion. Your dreams. And what this is, to guide you and go deeper still. So when you go through zero, you'll be in that wonderful hypnotic state where my words become your reality. To find new ways. To guide. To guide you to that wonderful change. The last change. So go through zero now. Minus one. Minus two. Minus three and minus four and minus five. And maybe you'll drift up to minus four and minus three. But you'll just go to whatever level, however depth of trance that is appropriate for you right now. To sleep in trance. Into trance. Into change. Just breathe and allow yourself to drift inside. Into a wonderful comfortable place. And as you drift into that comfortable place, I want you to imagine now. Imagine that future self. The one we thought about just a little while ago. That future self that is living out your desires. Living out your dreams. Living with abundance. Abundance of joy. Abundance of love. Happiness. Just enjoying every heartbeat. Fear has disappeared. Grief. Anxiety. Every negative emotion has just disappeared. What's in its place? Imagine now. You can feel what's in its place. Maybe it's that wonderful self-esteem. That feeling good about yourself. I have that inner strength. That inner strength that is like, I'm just here. I'm just here in me. I'm rock solid. I'm okay. I'm okay with me. I'm okay with me in this world. My confidence is in my competence. And as you feel that, what emotions are you experiencing now? When you're living your true self. Being that ultimate vision of yourself. That best version of yourself. Living your dreams. Your desires. Living in abundance of everything. What will you see? How will you see the world? Will you see it slightly brighter? Will you see it more welcoming? Will you see it as an opportunity? How will you speak to yourself? And what will be those positive beliefs that you have that affirm who you really are? You might even smell and taste success. And feel that feeling of...
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My Christmas and New Year Message
12/22/2025
My Christmas and New Year Message
My Christmas and New Year Message Personal Development Unplugged This is a short Christmas and New Year message from me to you. A moment to pause. A moment to reflect on how far you’ve come. And a gentle invitation to think about who you want to become — without pressure, without rigid resolutions. I share why I don’t believe in New Year’s resolutions, why every day is a chance to grow richer in life, and why loneliness is something we can choose to change. This is also a heartfelt invitation for you to help shape the podcast in the year ahead by letting me know what you want support with. Most of all, this is a thank you — for listening, sharing, and paying it forward. Have a wonderful Christmas, a peaceful break, and I’ll see you in the New Year for deeper dives, practical processes, and meaningful change. 🎁 Merry Christmas ✨ Happy New Year 💛 And thank you for being here Shine Brightly 🌟 Paul Hey there! I’d love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at . Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review . Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit . Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to . Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure. Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on , Castbox, , YouTube, or on our . Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨ Music Credits Music by from , Music by from , Music by from , Music by from , Music by from . And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism My Christmas and New Year Message Hi there, I just wanted to wish you happy Christmas time, happy holiday for those people who don't celebrate Christmas, just a happy new year. And I wanted to say that if you're planning your new year's resolutions, do go ahead and do them and then in the new year you can come back to the Personal Development Unplugged podcast where we can then make sure they happen because I don't like new year's resolutions because every day is a time for making changes, reviewing. I love this time of year to review how far you've come and if you look back and go back 12 months whether you set new year's resolutions or not, and I hope you didn't, but just notice how far you've come and also notice how you want to make your life richer. So it's not a new year's resolution, I want to lose weight, I want to do this, no, I want to become more. I want to look after my health, my longevity. I want to be fit when I'm older. I want to look as fit as Paul when I'm his age. That's a low bar and I want to be able to socialise. I want to be able to talk to people. I want to be able to learn. I want to do all these things and we can talk about that in the new year because I'm very concerned that there's a lot of people who are very lonely and I want you to join with me in banning that loneliness, having the choice to be alone but realise you can have a choice to not be alone. And I want to get even deeper into the subjects such as body suicides, depression, sadness, guilt, bereavement, all that stuff that really bring us down. And I want to get into them in a way that is both really interesting, different, but with processes that really, well you know, make a difference. They may only make a little difference but a little difference and a little bit more and a little bit more, when you do look back you'll notice how much you've changed. And again I always say this, I need your help to do that because I know what I go through and I talk about my own personal things that are happening to me and they lead me to what I hope helps other people. But if you would just let me know the type of areas of your life you'd like to change. It doesn't mean to say they've all got to be issues, but we all have issues in some way so we can change issues. But it could be I just want to go to here, to here, to here. I want to improve more. How can I do that? What processes would you concoct for me? I know we're not the biggest podcast in the world but I think the message is a lot stronger than a lot and it is only a solo cast, it's all dedicated to you. No interviews, no here's my latest book and that's the only reason I'm on here. I get so many requests for people to come because I've written a book well bloody good job for you but this is about you and it's about me trying to help you because that is the only way I can keep sharing what I've got but a few years quite a few years of learning all the bits and pieces about hypnosis NLP different personal development ways of working and creating a few more of my own and I want to be able to give them and share them to you and the cost of which is absolutely nothing is it other than yes there is yes there is a bloody cost it's to pay it forward that's the only thing I ask if you could pay pay it forward by sharing sharing this not this not this episode obviously because this is just happy Christmas and things like that my little little plan for the year but pay it forward by sharing which if you share something that you found useful you know your tribe but your your friends will also find it useful I know and the thing is it's like all these issues that we have we very rarely talk about we fudge them how are you yeah I'm fine that you're not fucking fine but you hold it or am I just talking about myself I know I hold a lot in sometimes and I shouldn't if we share things then they go just below the surface that person doesn't have to admit they're not fine just then but as you share them they get there and then they feel they can open up because they make changes and I always used to say when people used to ask me you know what do you do I said I'm just a lifesaver that's all I do just saves lives and even my friends always you say you know are you saving any lives today Paul or did you save any lives today and it's the odd one and you could be the same you could be that lifesaver too for them and you probably won't know it but you might but inside here you'll bloody know it it'll feel good so with that have the most wonderful wonderful time and maybe take this time in the quiet if there is a quiet spot normally is just after Christmas before the new year just to see how far you've come because it's amazing when you look back to notice all the changes that you actually have made your new qualities as they were you know have a have a listen to the episode of my qualities and the hypnosis track of my qualities where'd you find that paulcloughonline.com forward slash podcast get or get them all but my qualities is where you really find what you all the resources you've you have naturally but also the things you've added to them have a go at that and then you can from there go well if I could do all of that what else can I do what else do I want to do how else do I want to change who do I want to be who am I destined to be because I'm gonna set that that goal be the person you dream of because you can okay that's it have a wonderful time and I'm gonna see you when I see you WARNING! You are now leaving the unplugged mind of Paul Clough. It's time to fly and run. Be brave my friend. personal development unplugged Transcribed by . Personal development [self improvement] [self development] [NLP] [Hypnosis]
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FMQ 522 Who Do You Want To Be
12/19/2025
FMQ 522 Who Do You Want To Be
Who Do You Want To Be? As the year begins to wind down, this Five Minute Quickie (that may run a little longer 😄) invites you to pause, reflect, and ask yourself some powerful questions. This isn’t about New Year’s resolutions – it’s about intention. In this episode, Paul challenges you to look at: Why you’re really listening What you truly want Who you want to become Because the quality of your life doesn’t change by accident… it changes when you get clear on your why. This short but powerful episode is the seed for the next deeper dive, where we’ll explore how to align your unconscious mind with the person you truly want to be. Key themes: Self-reflection without pressure Intention over resolution The identity behind change Planting the seed for real transformation Listen now and start asking the question that changes everything: Who do you want to be? Maybe one of your skills will be to share what you learn and you could start here with this episode :) Shine Brightly 🌟 Paul Hey there! I’d love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at . Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review . Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit . Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to . Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure. Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on , Castbox, , YouTube, or on our . Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨ Music Credits Music by from , Music by from , Music by from , Music by from , Music by from . And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism So, welcome to the 5 minute quickie that is now probably a 10 minute quickie, being the seed to something longer, to deeper thinking, deeper diving. And as we're coming to the end of the year, I know some people will have their thoughts on New Year's resolutions, and if you know me at all, I don't do New Year's resolutions. I don't think they're good. They fail. And I'm sure I'll talk about it in the New Year, but I think it's a great time to contemplate. So I want to start that at the moment. We've gone into loneliness and we're coming out of it and we're going to dive back in again shortly. But I just wanted to ask you a few questions today. Just a few quick questions in a way that, well hopefully they get you thinking. Thinking in a way that we can start to use them, use your thoughts. So what am I talking about? So, question to you. Why are you listening? Why are you listening here? Question, why are you here? Why are you here? Why are you listening here? I mean, do you listen to other people? Other podcasts? I'm sure you do, don't you? But do you read, in this wonderful genre of self-development, about moving on, moving up, letting go of stuff? Maybe you've got an issue, an issue or two. I think we've all got bloody issues or two. Some are big, some are just little ones that knock around the side but could do well with, you know, they don't support us so we can get rid of them. So have you got an issue or two that you want to lose? And in all of that, whatever you're doing, is it working? Is it working? How's that going for you? How's it going? Because you see, I just want you to reflect for the moment. We're going to dive, as I say, in a longer podcast into how we can make sure that we use what we learn, use what we listen, hear, read, think up here, how we can use them to create this world for us, our reality, being our best self. So why all these questions? Because I want you to think, and it's not just you, this is for me too. I want to get to think of our why's. It's been pushed around a lot, isn't it? You've got to get your why, but your why is important because the important things are your why's. It's your intention, and it's the reason behind your intention. It's the direction you're heading in, your aim. And it's that intention for wanting more or less in the case of the issues such as anxiety, low self-esteem, all that OCD, depression, sadness, guilt, fear, anything like that. We need to know our why, our intention. And so before we go deeper in the longer podcast, because that's what we do here now, we're going to really deep dives with hypnosis. Because that's where we go into our unconscious mind. Some might call it subconscious, I call it unconscious. Go to an unconscious mind where these things are generated, looked after, and we educate our unconscious mind to change. So maybe, just for a moment, you want to take another think, a thunk, to answer those questions honestly. So let's think, just for a moment or two, think, why am I listening here? What is my intention? What do I want to get out of this? Because sometimes, and I've done it myself, I just listen to a podcast with no intention at all. And guess what? I walk out the other side and I might have learned something, I might have. But there are other times when I've actually said, I want to see what I can learn from this. What can I gain from this? And when I set my intention, because I know it's important, I want to change, I want to find something. Guess what? I bloody find it. I find those golden nuggets, they don't disappear. So just think for a moment, why are you here? What do you want to get from this podcast? What do you want to get from other podcasts? Listening to others in this wonderful field, this field of creating the best version of you, creating the best reality for you, living your best life, because you deserve it. What else? Why or what is your why? What is your intention for moving up, moving on? Letting experiences that hold you back go. Not letting them affect the now and anything that happens in the future that comes into your now. What's your intention for doing it? See, when we know our intention, we can then start to create the behaviours, access the skills that we need, find new skills, new mentors, find just the help we need, the resources inside and out to create that change. But we need to know that intention and we need to know why we have that intention. Why is it important to us? And also, we've talked about the odd issue that we have. Think about, do you have an issue? Because we all have issues, we might have some anxiety around different contexts of our lives. Maybe it's at work, maybe it's at home, maybe it's in a relationship. We all have fears. Maybe we have things like sadness, guilt. Don't affect us 100% of the time, because they never do, but they're always below the surface, aren't they? And then they get triggered at certain points. And sometimes, like a bloody adult, we go, well, I can handle this, because I'm an adult. And adults don't handle it, they just make excuses. Why not to handle it, to let it go, it'll be okay, I can manage it, we deal with it. But why do you want to deal with it? And here's one way to, what would it allow you to do? What would it allow you to do if they were to disappear? And that's self-sabotage. What else have we got? Imposters, imposter theory, or whatever we call it. Syndrome, imposter syndrome, not a theory, Paul. I don't think it's anything, but it's something that affects us emotionally, and stops us doing the things we really want to do. So if we know why we want to do it, the reason we want to do it, and what it's stopping us doing, what opportunities is it disallowing us, if that's a word. And as you think for that for the moment, as you do that, and you can do this with your eyes open, or eyes closed. Just take away the distractions, but it doesn't matter. I just want you to see yourself. We've talked about it before, as if all those negative things, or we take them as negative, have disappeared. We're actually learning, we're moving on. We're accessing all the wonderful resources we have inside, and growing, striving, increasing our richness of life. If you could see yourself over there, in that way, what would you look like? What would you look like from over here, looking at yourself? Is that you over there, someone you would desire to be? I know it is, but I ask you the question, because I want you to think. If I had the resources of that me over there, would I be enjoying life? Would I be enjoying it more than I am at the moment? And you can enjoy your life right now, but we can always have a bit more, can't we? Just a little bit more. If we let go of that stuff, we get new stuff, we find new mentors, we have new experiences, which we learn from. Imagine what it would feel like to be that you over there. Just imagine it for a moment. Because you can, just by looking at yourself over there. Imagine what it feels like now. If you wanted to, you could ask that you over there to come a bit closer. So you can really feel, in fact, so close that you can feel every sinew, every emotion, every just wonderful way of being. Because that's, in effect, at the moment, your best self. But it can get even better. And the only reason, I think, that you're not getting it, you're not being that best version of yourself, is because we haven't worked out that why. We haven't worked out our intention. And there's something else. There's a magic ingredient that you need, that I know you've got, but you may be not accessing it. Well, I know you're not accessing it, because that would be you over there, right now, if you were accessing that special thing, that special resource. Which, by the way, keep that feeling. Keep that good feeling. Keep it until the longer podcast, where we're going to dive deeper into what do we need to be the person we want to be? What do we need to do? How are we going to create that? Because they're in there already. It's a matter of letting them out. So think about that. Letting that feeling out into reality. Hold that thought until the longer podcast. I hope you like doing this, by the way. I hope you like doing this. It's a new venture for me in creating different things. Because on that longer podcast, I know we're going to have some hypnosis. I know we're going to have a process that is going to tickle your little buds, as they say. And I hopefully encourage you to take that little, it's only a little step, but it's a little step that makes a difference. The difference that makes a difference. Please share this if you would. Because sharing this episode, or all the past episodes, if you've enjoyed it, obviously if you haven't enjoyed it, why would you share it? But I hope you've enjoyed it. If you set your intention to enjoy it, you will, and find something new. I encourage you to set your intention every time you press play. What can I learn? What can I find that's important to make me change, or allow me to change, to guide me to change? That would be a great intention. And if you share it, it just means more people get to listen to the stuff that we're putting out. And it does grow. It doesn't make anything for me, but it does grow. And it gets to more people. And if we can help more people get to be where they want to be, we've all done our job, haven't we? We've all done our bit of selfless service. If you do that, that'd be wonderful. Press subscribe, so you don't miss the next longer podcast that will come up automatically on your little fandangle thing that you listen to, or watch this on. And more importantly, have more fun than you can stand. Okay. So with that, I'm going to bid you farewell, my friend. And see you in the longer podcast. Ta-ra. Warning. You are now hearing the unplugged mind of Paul Clough. It's time to fly and run. Be brave, my friend. Personal Development Unplugged. Transcribed by . Personal development [self improvement] [self development] [NLP] [Hypnosis]
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#470 Why Am I Feeling Alone And Feeling........?
12/12/2025
#470 Why Am I Feeling Alone And Feeling........?
Why Am I Feeling Alone And Feeling........? In this powerful longer episode, I dive into the hidden causes of loneliness — why we feel alone, why it often starts as protection, and how we unintentionally reinforce it with the wrong questions. Then I'll guide you through a gentle, refined hypnosis process to help you reconnect with yourself, shift your emotions, and find comfort, peace, and connection again. Practical tools. Better questions. Deep self-work. And the reminder we all need: You are never alone. You are always with yourself. Here's The Key Takeaways Loneliness is often an unconscious protection response. You are always the centre of your own world — so get into rapport with yourself. Bad questions create bad emotional loops. Better questions create better states and better choices. Hypnosis can reconnect you to comfort, contentment, and possibility. Small steps lead you out of the familiar zone and into real change. If this helped, share it with someone who might need it today. Subscribe. Follow. And wallow in pleasure at personaldevelopmentunplugged.com and where all the free hypnosis tracks live. Shine Brightly 🌟 Paul Hey there! I’d love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at . Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review . Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit . Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to . Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure. Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on , Castbox, , YouTube, or on our . Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨ Music Credits Music by from , Music by from , Music by from , Music by from , Music by from . And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism So welcome to a longer podcast. Why am I feeling alone? Why am I alone and feeling... And I said dot, dot, dot, dot, dot because we feel so many different emotions when we're alone, don't we? But a long time ago, when I was... I talk about going through my dark times and things like that, but as I was coming out of it, I got more into my journaling again and in the front of a journal, I just wrote this little sentence and it just made so much more sense to me and it was, you're never alone, you're never by yourself, you're always with yourself. You see, it doesn't matter where you go, does it? You can go everywhere to try to find yourself or you can go everywhere to fucking lose yourself, can't you? Keep changing the environment, hoping something's going to happen and guess what? You're always fucking there, you're dragging yourself along. It's your shadow, you are your own shadow, remember that, but you are never alone. You're never by yourself, you are always with yourself and when we can get into a rapport with ourself, that's when I think things really start changing. Now, have you also noticed wherever you are and whoever you're with, you're the centre of your world, aren't you? It doesn't matter, everything starts and ends with you. You choose to be, act and believe, that's it, it's your choice but it's all in here, you are, whether you're in a crowd, whether you're by yourself, you're always in here, you are the centre of your world and everyone else is the centre of their world and we choose to do what we do and that's it, so we're never alone because we're the centre of our world, so we're never alone, back to the beginning, never by yourself, you're always with yourself and here's a bit of a harsh reality. Solitude, loneliness, is a choice, your choice, though when it feels it isn't, you get that feeling of maybe, I don't know, despair, sadness, you come up with a negative emotion but it doesn't feel like a choice, does it? Because why would you choose something like that? I know I've been there a couple of times, one was not good but never really, really, really bad, but I can only tell you my experience, it just didn't feel like I was choosing to be that way, why the f**k would you? Why the f**k would you? But the thing is, what I did realise and I do believe, in fact I think I know it to be right but it's a belief, it could prove anything, I think it's your unconscious mind is trying to protect us in some way, what the hell it is, I don't know, but it's trying to keep us safe from something, maybe it's from even more hurt from the outside, something on the outside has hurt us and we put the barriers up, keep inside, shut people out, but the thing is we shut everyone out, don't we? Not just the people we consider may have hurt us or the things out there that have hurt us, but we shut everyone out. So it's an unconscious decision, do this, it's a behaviour, remember behaviours can all be changed by the way, so this isn't all dark, I'm just setting the scene of how I experienced it, but it is an unconscious process to protect you, and the thing is, I said this to everyone, wouldn't it be lovely, wouldn't it be great, wouldn't it be paradise, wouldn't it be absolutely the end of the world, if you knew, you could never be hurt, or you could do things and not feel hurt inside, and that's where the conflict comes in you see, because in order to protect us from being hurt, we're actually feeling hurt through this solitude, this loneliness, you know, through the feelings of despair, sadness or whatever, you fill in the bloody blank, it just doesn't feel good, and as a protection mechanism, I think it needs to be changed, don't you? If you could change it you would, wouldn't you? So, what do we choose instead of that isolation, what do we choose? Well actually, we tend to choose until we let it go, more isolation, more pain, because in some way it's now become familiar to us, isn't it? Because I don't call it a comfort zone, I call it a familiar zone, it's not comfortable, but we are familiar with this pain now, and we're not sure what's on the outside, and that can be a little bit scary, and we think it's the unknown, but we actually know it, we've walled it away, we've put a defence, an armour up, some type of war against all of this, we can't see through this pain, this despair, this sadness, this, you fill in the blank, to what's on the other side, it's that wonderful metaphor, a little brief one which says, when you're in the jar, you can't read the label. Now, here's the thing, I'm going to put myself in your position, your voice, and say, hey Cluffy, you keep telling me it's a bloody choice, don't you? Keep telling me a choice, do you think I'd choose this? That's what you're saying, isn't it? Do you think I'd choose this way? And I said, you know, that's what we say to ourselves, and yes, I do believe that it's a choice, but going back to what I said a minute ago, it's not a conscious choice, because consciously you would change if you could, but your unconscious mind says, I know better, I'm trying to protect you even more, and some time ago in the past, you know, it bloody worked, it had to have worked, your unconscious mind wouldn't keep doing it if it didn't work. As a prime director of your unconscious mind, it has to keep you healthy, and it has to keep you safe. And that's it, full stop. Keep you healed, keep you healthy, and well, healing, and keep you safe. Well, there's loads more, little bits, but they're the two prime directors of your unconscious mind. And one of the reasons I think it's reinforced as well, and you tell me if I'm wrong, is I know your unconscious mind is doing this more and more and more, more and more intense, hence we're getting these intense feelings of loneliness, sadness, despair, and all that stuff. It needs to be guided to a better way, but until we start talking to ourselves differently, what are you talking about? What I'm saying is, it's the questions that we ask ourselves. And the questions are, well, they're questions, but you don't always realise you're questioning yourself. The things like, why the hell is this happening to me? Why won't this ever end? Why me? And your unconscious mind is a wonderful servant, you see, it will go away through all your memories, memories of the past, and find examples of why it won't end. Examples of why it's all about you, why it's always happening. You see, they won't fit the whole, but they're close enough and it jams them in. Because you've asked what I would call a fucking boggy question. Now, what are yours? I've just told you a few, they must have been mine, I reckon. But what are your questions that you continually ask yourself? They may be things like, why me? You know, you hear people say, you know, if it's going to happen, it's going to happen to me, and it bloody does, because they're setting things up. So what are your questions? What are your questions? The answers will come to you. If they're out there, on that piece of paper, guess what? You'll start to realise this isn't the right question to ask, it's just not. And your unconscious mind is always listening to you. It's always earwigging there, what's that question? I'll go and get the answer, I'll go to find proper answers, because they're just bonky answers. But if you're going to ask a stupid question, you're going to get stupid answers. And I know you're not doing it deliberately. It's just a thing that we naturally go to through those emotions. So they're like, they're feeding themselves. So I want you to just get them on paper to notice, you know, how bonky they are, how asking that question, you don't really want to know that answer, because it doesn't really matter. Why? Yeah, why? Why does this happen to me? Who cares how we want to think of a better question? I don't want to know why. I don't want to know, you know, why it won't end. I want to know how we can get move on. So I want you to choose your questions, your thoughts in a better way. And what might better questions be? Let's have a think together. Let's have a think together. Well, maybe, I don't know, how can I learn from this? How can I learn from this? Because there's something happening in my life that I can learn from. Now, we don't know what it is. But it's a much more positive question. Because if I can learn from things, if I can maybe learn, oh, I can see what I'm doing. And now I can maybe do it in a different way. How can I, you know, how can I use this to grow? That's a radically different question. How can we use this to grow? Because if you think about it, we've generally grown out of all our negative experiences, we tend to grow so much more through them than the positive ones, because the positive ones, we just wallow in them, we love them. But it's those things that have happened in our past, that have been a little bit, you know, on the hurtful side, they've been more, I know, more significant, say, they're more a significant event in your life, you tend to learn from those. And the things when you've learned, guess what happens? The pain of that event disappears. The negative emotion of that disappears, the limiting belief that you had around yourself disappears. In mine, I got so unconfident about myself, my self-confidence had completely gone. But now that has gone, because I learned from what was happening at that time. And as things changed, I got more, I got my old confidence back and more, I grew from it. Maybe a question of how can I change now to feel? And you fill in the blank, how do you want to feel? Now, some people would go, well, I want to feel super confident, super this, super that. No, no, how about just comfortable? Let's just go to comfortable for the moment. So what do I need to do to let this go and be comfortable? How can I replicate the times in my past when I've been comfortable? Maybe I've been content. Maybe I've been connected. Yeah. Because we've always felt somewhere in your life, you felt connected. Somewhere in your life, you feel comfortable, content, you have. So you could bring them back to mind, couldn't you? And go, ah, just notice the difference between how that feels and how you felt a few minutes ago, or you've been feeling for the last God knows how long. How many ways can I reach out to others? Who could help me? What skills do I have to be able to change? What do I need to learn to be able to change? These are great questions, aren't they? Here's another one. If this was easy to change, what would that be like? And that question, once you've gone through those others, because they start, they start to come out. And I think then you finish off with this type of question. You know, this was easy to get this, this and this. What would that be like? You tend to see answers, because the answer to that question is, how would it be easy? Yes, you're going to put effort into it. But you're finding the simple way and in simplicity, there's genius. So what would that be like? So the list does go on and I want you to write those down, follow mine, write mine out, and then let your own mind come up with new positive. Are they positive about the future? Are they positive about being the way you want to be? Now you know from the previous longer podcast about being where you want to be and your goals and things like that. This is great. But this is something else. Again, they all add together. One of these will break that. I don't like to say break the camel's back, but you know, one of these will be the last straw that gets you back into the you you should be, the you you really are, the you you deserve to be. So whatever you do, if you're going to use therapy to help you get over this, because you've got to do something. Now you know you've chosen it unconsciously and your unconscious mind needs to choose a different way. You can help it, find a better way, notice how you want to feel, then ask the questions of how do you get there? What have you got to learn to be there? What have I got to change to be there? Who have I got to talk to to get there? All that stuff. But whether you choose therapy or do it yourself, this will help. So if there's no one around, by the way, no one around, or you can find a space where you're not going to be disturbed, where you do not need any, you don't need your attention to do anything like driving, in charge of machinery or people or anything, where you just sit down quietly for maybe just five minutes, come with me for five minutes and find a nice quiet spot. If it's safe to do so, only ever if it's safe to do so. If it isn't, just press pause. And when you've got five minutes, then you can press play to either do that now or just find that quiet space and close your eyes. And as you close your eyes, just breathe. Breathe normally. And as you breathe normally, well, just allow your out breath to take you deep inside. That's right. Just for a moment. And thank your unconscious mind. Your best friend. Your best friend. It is your best friend. For doing what it's been doing. Yeah, I know it's been rough. More than that, I know. But if you're trying to protect the best way, it knew how back then. And now we're going to search for a better way. Because there's so many better ways. So just breathe. And remember, you can say these words in your mind with your inner voice or just let my words go in. Just remember, I'm never alone. I'm never by myself. I'm always with myself, with you, my unconscious mind, striving to keep me safe. And just begin to imagine if the isolation, the loneliness, the despair and all those things were to disappear right now. Right now it's gone. Completely gone. And you could just feel comfortable in yourself, comfortable in the world. Maybe a little content. Maybe a little at peace. Just notice somewhere in your body now, there's a place where that feeling of comfortableness resides. But peace. Content. And allow your unconscious mind to draw you down there now, just for a moment or two. And from there, just begin to notice you can ask a question of your best friend. And we're going to ask wonderful questions. I know you're trying to protect me. Did I feel unsafe? You fill in the blank. But how can I use this now to change and be comfortable? Be content to find peace? What things can you do for me? From all the wonderful things you've done in the past, all my experiences, to have me feel connected, positive for the future? What steps do I need to make now to grow and become the person I'm destined to be? Because I can grow. That's right. You could ask your unconscious mind to go through all your wonderful experiences when you've, you have felt safe. You have felt content. And take the essence of those memories, the skills that you used unconsciously, and project that into the future. And how can I use these wonderful skills to be different? To be whole. To feel good about myself. That's right. And what would it be like to let go of all these negative emotions? And live a life of wonder. Live a life of wonder. Maybe joy. Love and bliss. And I want you to begin to just notice what bliss might feel like. Make it up. Imagine, create it. And how comfortable that would feel in the future. Imagine your future being filled with connection, learnings, enjoyment, love, joy. Fulfillment. Yeah, being fulfilled. And send that to your unconscious mind, that feeling. And ask, how can we get to these feelings instead? Because these are the feelings that make me feel really protected. And thank your unconscious mind for doing what it's done. And thank your unconscious mind for what it's going to do in the future. To apply all these wonderful things, answers to your questions. Just for a moment, take a moment just to rest in this feeling. And maybe just say thank you. And this or something better. And believe it. And from there, with a wonderful sense of gratitude, take a wonderful in-breath with me. Let it out. Open your eyes and come back into the real world. And I want you now to start to look at maybe different places you can find instruction of how to change, how you want to change. There's lots of episodes here. Lots of hypnosis tracks. But most of all, maybe just get a little book and write down the ways you want to feel. Write down some of those really good questions. Think about things that if you did them, they'd make you feel the way you want to feel. Yes, we can have big and we can have small. Start with the small, but write the big ones down too. So you get these feelings that are going to pull you. Instead of being pushed, you're going to be pulled into the future with motivation. And just keep asking wonderful questions and keep thinking of wonderful things that you could do. Maybe they are big. As I said, they may be big and you think it's a bit too big. Yeah, but what's the first step along the way? What's the first step along the way? If you listen to the last longer podcast, it gives you an idea...
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FMQ 521 Come And Play For A Change
12/05/2025
FMQ 521 Come And Play For A Change
Come And Play For A Change In this slightly longer Five-Minute Quickie, I’m inviting you to do something different… to come and play. Play with ideas, play with possibilities, and play with the truth about those heavy beliefs we sometimes carry like “I’ve got no one.” In this FMQ, we explore: How “I’ve got no one” is a belief, not the truth Why every belief — even identity-level stuff — can be changed Why it often feels like our issues only happen to us Why working with compassion (not empathy) creates real change How every issue is just a behaviour — and behaviours can change How these seeds we explore now lead directly into the deeper work in the following longer episode This is your invitation to come play with me, to explore lightly but honestly, and to get ready for the deeper dive where we really shift these things. Because it’s not magic… but it’s bloody magical. Next steps: Make sure you’re subscribed, share this with someone who needs a little support today, and keep an eye out for the longer episode — it’s a good one. Shine Brightly 🌟 Paul Hey there! I’d love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at . Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review . Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit . Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to . Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure. Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on , Castbox, , YouTube, or on our . Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨ Music Credits Music by from , Music by from , Music by from , Music by from , Music by from . And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism Hey, welcome. Welcome to the Personal Development Unplugged podcast with me, Paul, where we are going to dive deeper into serious subjects, but in a way that's hopefully serious, but fun, funnily serious, because changing can be fun. And that's why I've said come and play for a change. And this is just like the seed I'm sowing that I want to drop inside you. And then we can nurture it, water it, feed it, and let it grow into the special person that you are. And one of the subjects I want to talk about, or will be talking about, is the thought, and it may be just me, may be just me, but there's a thought that we have, which is a belief, isn't it? Thinking you've got no one. Thinking you've got no one. What a belief to have. What a belief to have. How's that? How's that working for you? Because, you know, you're right. You are right. You've got no one. What? Why are you saying that? I thought this was, I know what you're thinking now. I thought you were going to try to make things better, Paul. Help me change. But the thing is, if it's a belief, and a belief of, you know, with an identity bit, there's a little bit of I in there. I've got no one. And there'll be a belief below that, giving you the reason why you've got no one, which you're going to believe. Well, if you believe that, then you're right. Because that's what you believe. But beliefs can be changed. Every belief can be changed. Every core belief can be changed, if it's right to do so, because some of them do no longer, what? Do no longer? Yeah, no longer serve us. They were okay in the beginning, but they're no longer any good. So we're going to get rid of them, because that's what we do here. You see, every issue that we have is only happening to you. Or every issue that's happening to me is only happening to me. You see, everyone else is fucking fine, aren't they? You see them wandering around, they're fine. That's a lot of bollocks, isn't it? I'm sorry, I'm swearing, because I do swear. No, it's not offensive. It's just me being a little bit, well, passionate. It's my passionate way of speaking, which is a lot of bollocks. Oh, it isn't. It isn't. But the thing is, we do feel that it's only us, isn't it? Only us. You've got no one, because it's only affecting me. I know I feel that when I've gone through either dark stages in my life, or even mild stages. You know, something happens, you go, oh, only me. And I'm going to talk deeper about that in the longer podcast, why it's only happening to you, or it feels that way. And this is the beginning, as I said, the season. I'm going to keep saying these seeds, the seeds of our dives, I call them dives, but exploring issues that can be so destructive. They're destructive to ourselves and the people around us. And I know we don't want that. We don't want that. If you were to really go inside and explore, I know you don't want that for anybody else. And I know if you were really honest, you don't want it for yourself. And the thing about this is, I asked myself the question, okay, Cloughie, so are you an expert in all of this, all of these bloody issues? And my honest answer was, fuck no, of course I'm not. I haven't experienced all the issues firsthand. I've experienced some, and I've got out of them and I'm going to teach you how to do how I did it. And also, but the thing is, I have a belief. You see, I have helped others let go of so many issues that I haven't experienced. You see, that's not empathy, you see, because I don't need to know how you feel. Nice. We've talked about it before. It's all about compassion. I want to know how you do what you do, how you want to be, and how I can help you make that change. That's where I come from. And I've done it so many times because I believe everything that we do is just a behaviour. Now, that's common bloody sense, isn't it? I'm doing something, it's a behaviour. But we don't think of our issues as behaviours. I even think as a belief as a behaviour. And some of them can be really supportive, and some of them can be just shit. But they're shit for a reason. And that's what we're going to dive deeply into and then find different ways of doing this behaviour. Honouring our unconscious mind. Yeah, I'll do lots of processes, maybe a little bit of hypnosis. So come with me and play for a change. Because everything is a behaviour. Every compulsion is a behaviour. Every addiction to me, my belief is a behaviour. And every behaviour can change. We can change our behaviours easy. Sometimes it takes a little bit of effort. But the principles are simple. Because in simplicity, guess what? There's genius. And you make things complicated, they just get bloody complicated. And I can't do complicated. I want to do simple, effective ways to help you change. So that's where we're going. Look for the next longer podcast because it's a real good one. It's going to be a good one. I'm recording it. Yeah, I know it's going to be a good one. Because that's why I jumped in here to look at the way I'm dressed. Because I just just wanted to get on and explain to you where I'm going. And I want you to come with me. Now, I know you may be saying, I'm fine. I'm fine. We all say that, by the way, we all say we're fine, even when we're not. So, but the thing is, sometimes we are fine. And then sometimes we're not. And so by listening to this, and joining me in the processes, they'll help you in the future, you'll know to come back. But even on little issues, we're going to talk about serious stuff that has, well, a serious in the way that they affect our lives seriously. As we said, the consequences of carrying on like this, we hurt other people hurt ourselves. We don't want that. But the process can be used for all manner of different things. So it could be a small issue that you're anxious about, have a little touch of fear, we can still use the same process, because the process is just the process of changing a behavior. And you say, I don't worry how big the behavior is, as it were, how big this issue is, because we can bring it down to these basics in its simplest form, and then make the simplest change, which then blows out the water and creates a life that we all deserve. I hope this makes sense. I hope you will come and play with me for a change. You'll come and sit down for a change. It's not magic, but it's fucking magical. That's a change. I'm sorry, I'm swearing far too much. Am I? If it offends you, let me know. Feedback at personaldevelopmentunplugged.com. If there's something that you you're suffering, and it's an issue that you want to change, let me know because I'd rather deal with that sooner rather than later. I don't want to just come up with it haphazardly. I want to deal with the things that you want to have dealt with. So let me know. Same email address. They're all the same. They all come to me because there's no other bugger here. It's only me. So please do that and come and experience change, because then you begin to enjoy every heartbeat. And guess what? Your unconscious mind will start to surprise you to feel happy for no reason. And that is a wonderful concept. To feel happy for no bloody reason when you're wandering around in your day. So come and play and share with everybody you can, because we all need a little bit of help some days. And that's days with a D-A-Z-E. Days. Enjoy. Enjoy every heartbeat. Subscribe by the way. Press subscribe because you'll get these. Don't want to miss one. Don't want to miss one. And have more fun than you can stand. As I said, so go fly. And I'll see you in the longer podcast and every other one. Bye bye now. Warning, you are now leaving the unplugged mind of Paul Clough. It's time to fly now. Be brave my friend. Personal Development Unplugged Transcribed by . Personal development [Unplugged] [podcast][NLP][Hypnosis][self development]self improvement][awareness]
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#469 I'm Not Good Enough - Where'd That Go?
11/28/2025
#469 I'm Not Good Enough - Where'd That Go?
“I’m Not Good Enough – Where’d That Go?” In this deep-dive episode of Personal Development Unplugged, we go straight to the heart of that old familiar belief: “I’m not good enough.” Where did it come from? Why does it stick? And more importantly… how the hell do we finally let it go? Following on from FMQ 520, we go far deeper — unpacking the real intention behind that belief (yep, your unconscious mind is actually trying to protect you), the conflict it accidentally creates, and how to guide it toward a better way of keeping you safe. And then… we do the thing. A guided process — powerful, imaginative, and deeply integrative — designed to dissolve the old belief, honour the intention behind it, and install new, empowering beliefs that actually support you. Not named, not formal — just a beautifully crafted experience that uses memory, imagination, counterexamples, and emotional safety to shift how you see yourself. What you’ll learn in this episode Where “I’m not good enough” really comes from Why it is helping you — but in the worst possible way How your unconscious mind gets stuck in a loop of “protecting” you by holding you back Why perfectionism is just the same belief wearing a different hat How to honour the original intention so your unconscious mind joins the team How to use imagination + real memories to generate powerful new beliefs A full guided process to change how you feel about the past and the future How to use this again to reinforce confidence, safety, and inner alignment The reminder that you are always more than you think you are Hypnosis-style process included Yep — this episode includes a guided inner process (eyes closed, deep focus) allowing you to revisit past experiences safely and then rehearse future success with new beliefs installed. Not formal hypnosis — but absolutely hypnotic in effect. Why this episode matters Because this belief — I’m not good enough — is the quiet saboteur behind so much anxiety, overwhelm, perfectionism, avoidance, and self-sabotage. When it shifts, life opens up. You get back your choices, your confidence, your comfort in your own skin. And your unconscious mind gets to protect you in a far better way. Takeaways Your unconscious mind always means well Protection and progress only conflict when the strategy is outdated You can change a belief by giving your unconscious mind better evidence and better options You don’t need to “feel ready” — you need to feel safe You can install empowering beliefs now and rehearse a new future You’re already capable; you just needed access to the right internal resources Please share this episode Shine Brightly 🌟 Paul Hey there! I’d love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at . Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review . Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit . Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to . Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure. Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on , Castbox, , YouTube, or on our . Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨ Music Credits Music by from , Music by from , Music by from , Music by from , Music by from . And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism So welcome to this longer podcast with me, Paul, Personal Development Unplugged. And it is unplugged in the way that we're going to do stuff that creates change in your life, okay? And if you were with me on the last FMQ, the five minute quickie, which is now a little bit longer, it was all about, I'm not good enough, where did it come from? We were looking very quickly and easily to find what was the cause of that belief? Because I believe, I'm not good enough, or I don't belong here, or those very general beliefs, because we have them in different areas of our life, came from somewhere else, came from something just below that, a more subtle belief, that are then generalised into different areas of our life. And if you found it, big props, I don't even know what props mean, but big props to you. And, well, congratulations, well done. It means, to me, it means you're really in tune with that, and you did what it takes to get there. But if you didn't, it doesn't matter. Well, it doesn't, no, it doesn't matter at all. Because this is still for you. Because I'm going to cover both people who found their cause, fine. People who didn't, fine. It's just for you. And we haven't done any work, sometimes it disappears when you find the cause. But if you still feel, I'm not good enough, I don't belong here, it's still affecting you, you're just in the right place, you're in the right place to, let's discover some changes, or how to change. But the thing is, I want to ask you a question. I'm not good enough. I don't belong here. Whatever that belief that you have is. Is it doing you any good? Is it doing, I know it doesn't feel good. I know it seems to stop you doing stuff. It's a negative feeling, isn't it? I know it's only a belief, but the feeling you get in your body is not so good. But is it doing anything for you? Do you know why answer is? Hell bloody yes, nearly swore. I'll try not to swear this time, but I probably will. Hell yes. Of course, it's doing some good for you. Because it's your unconscious mind protecting you, keeping you safe. Now you might say, I'm going to swear now, how the fuck is it keeping me safe, Paul? Because it doesn't feel good. And if it doesn't feel good, how am I safe? Well, I'll tell you for why. I'll tell you for why. Well, it's your unconscious mind trying to protect you. It's no longer appropriate. This feeling, this belief is not working because it doesn't feel good. But it's a hell yes, because it's the only thing your unconscious mind can do at the moment until we guide it into a different area to get it to view, to see, to experience a different way of being. And suddenly you're going, hell fire, there is a way. And if there's a better way, it has to choose it. That's the thing written in stone. Your unconscious mind has to find a better way. Its prime directive is to keep you healthy, to heal you and to keep you safe. And if it finds it's not doing it, it has to find a better way. And this is why we're here for. So protection, how is it protecting you? Well, if you put it into another way, it's your best friend, your unconscious mind has given you the belief of I'm not good enough or that I'm just below the surface. It's giving you that feeling that's stopping you doing something because it doesn't want you to fail. It doesn't want you to feel the feelings of a failure. It doesn't want you to feel the embarrassment of not succeeding. Now we have a problem because when it stops you doing it, that thing, because it doesn't want you to do it and fail and get embarrassed and get hurt and all that stuff. How do you feel? Shall I tell you how you feel? You feel a bloody failure, don't you? Because you haven't done it. So there's a direct conflict, isn't it? Think of that direct conflict. I'm trying to protect you from feeling a failure. So I give you the feeling of feeling a failure. Now I'm talking to you, the unconscious mind, to listen because there's a way out. There's a better way. You just have to bear with me for a moment or two. See, the other way your unconscious mind does it, it says, well, you know, if I don't want you to fail or feel that emotion of failure, that embarrassment, that hurt, everything else that goes with it, you are going to have to be a bloody perfectionist. You're going to have to do everything in your best ability. And guess what? That's bloody hard, isn't it? There's anxiety that comes with it. And anxiety is not the best motivator. It's overwhelming sometimes. And therefore we do fail when we go to present things or do things. Or again, we don't do it. Or we get to be so perfect. And what happens is, well, there ain't no such thing as perfection, is there? You can always do a little bit better. So therefore, you failed. And failure is only feedback. And we can learn from that. But not when you're feeling I'm not good enough. And I don't like this feeling. I'm not going to do it again. Or I'm going to try doubly hard. Now, think of this just for the moment as a sidestep. What would happen if you did that thing, but feeling comfortable and secure? How different would it be if that belief of I'm not good enough, or the one below the surface of that was to completely disappear? If that feeling that goes with I'm not good enough, I don't deserve it, I shouldn't be here, completely disappeared? What would happen? Well, you'd smash it, you wouldn't have overwhelm, you wouldn't have anxiety, you wouldn't have any fear. And you do your best. And even if your best didn't quite make it, you go, well, I did do my best. And I can learn to be better. And I'm proud of the best that I did. There you go. I tried. And that's it. If you turn up and try, put the reps in and you turn up, how can you be any better than your best? But you see, in both of those, in the negative sides, you know, the bit where I want to hold you back, or I'm going to make you do so much and be overwhelmed by being a perfectionist. What a wonderful intention. You know, what, what, what, what, what, what, Cloughie? Well, the intention to keep you safe, the intention to allow you to either succeed or to stop you, well, either way, to stop you feeling a failure, stop you feeling that hurt and embarrassment, all the other stuff we talked about. But you see, can you again see that direct conflict? What I'm trying to do for you, if I was your best friend, your unconscious mind, if I was doing that for you, and it's not working, then I have a conflict. Because what I'm trying to do is stop you being good enough, or not good enough. I want you to be good enough. And in fact, I'm doing the very opposite. So I've got to change, haven't I? You, the unconscious mind has to change to find a better way. And just understanding that is that little step forward. But the thing is, we have to find a better way. But what a lot of therapists do, they just tell you to be more confident. They tell you just to get this feeling and do this and do that. And that's bulls. Because they forget, they're throwing away that intention. And your unconscious mind wants to keep that intention to keep you safe. And by honouring that intention, we get your unconscious mind on board saying, we're not going to take that away. We're going to find better ways to support that intention of keeping you safe. And by doing that, we're going to take away the pain, the embarrassment, the failure, all that stuff, and have you feeling good about yourself. Now, when you feel good about yourself, you're safe, aren't you? As long as you're not overconfident, we're not going to go there. Because we want to keep you safe. Now, I say this all the time, if this feeling of I'm not good enough is really, really bringing you down. And you want to change really quickly. Go and see a therapist one to one. See someone who's a hypnotist, a master hypnotist, NLP practitioner, good timeline therapist. That's what I would do because that's the way I've trained. And I know from my experience, you get results really quickly. And even if you're going to do that, guess what? This is going to help. What we're going to do today, in this podcast, in this episode is going to help. Because this is a belief, a limiting belief. Yes, it has a negative emotion, but they're linked. When one goes, the other one goes. But the belief is generally stronger than the emotions. Because I take an emotion as being, in some ways, a behaviour. And the belief is just that little bit higher. So we get rid of the higher and the rest has to disappear. So knowing that beliefs are chosen. I didn't choose a book, you know, chosen at the unconscious level. And they're chosen from the experiences that you've had over time. We experienced something, maybe nothing happens and we experienced a similar thing. Something happened. And then we experienced it a third time and we think, oh dear, I'm not good enough. Because those experiences have made us feel that way. And we take on that belief that I must be not good enough. And to protect you from those feelings. I'm going to give you that feeling even more to pull you back. We've gone over that. We've got this wonderful intention. But here's the thing. Let's throw this on its head. Let's get counter intuitive. Yeah, sort of counter intuitive. There are different experiences you've had in the past. And those experiences have been when you have been good enough. When you've succeeded in doing something. And guess what, when you have been good enough and you've succeeded, guess what happens? You enjoyed it. And you put all that together and you feel safe. Now the thing about safety, and I've talked about it before, is you only ever feel unsafe. When you're doing things and you're in the moment and you're in the flow and you're enjoying stuff, you're just comfortable, you're there. So you don't feel unsafe. And when you feel unsafe, you know you're unsafe. So we're going to use our imagination and our memories. Now, first of all, let's use our imagination. If you could choose a belief, what would support you? A belief that would support you in all you want to do, what would that be? And I'm going to give you an example because they don't have to be massive. And it's not necessarily, I feel good enough, or I believe I'm good enough. It's that the direct opposite isn't always the belief that's going to support you through this. It's things like, I'm here to learn and grow, and I can. I've got that. I've got this. I think there's one in the Navy Seals, happy day. I've got this. Nothing can hurt me because I'm okay. It's just feedback because I'm here to learn. I could be my best whenever I choose. I choose to be my best now. It's those type of beliefs we could do. So just pick one. And I know you might say, oh, they didn't quite make sense or, you know, they don't feel real. I don't care if they feel real. I just want you to pick one and make it up if need be. Because they're not set in stone. We could change them, but just pick one to play with. Now, think of some examples. Maybe you've got some examples in your life when you actually did feel good enough. I know you did. So we've got one we've made up, but just think about time in the past when you succeeded. You felt good enough because you succeeded. It was it was a pleasant experience. You enjoyed it. Pick one of those. And as you pick that, what we call a counter example, a real life example, what do you think the belief you had there was that supported you? And again, you might not get consciously. So use your imagination and say, well, what belief must I have had in that memory, in that time in the past? What belief must I make it up? So now we've got two different beliefs, haven't we? Two beliefs. We've got to pick one of each beliefs that support you. One you've made up, one you've from a real life example in your past. Maybe you've had to just imagine what that belief is, but it doesn't matter. Because the thing about that is, where did you think that belief came up when you just made it up? It came from inside. So it's probably the right belief anyway. Your unconscious mind gave it to you. So here's the thing. Now, this is obviously going to be eyes closed. We said right at the beginning, eyes closed, just to take away the distractions. Even though it's not hypnosis, it's better to have your eyes closed because we just don't want anyone needing your attention. You can really go into this because when you lose or change the belief of I'm not good enough, it's going to change your world in such a wonderful way. So make sure no one needs your attention. You're not driving, you're not having machinery or anything around you that needs your conscious awareness. Find a nice little quiet place maybe where you're going to be undisturbed. It's only going to be a few minutes. And close your eyes. And what I want you to do as your eyes are closed, just breathe gently for a moment. Maybe take an in-breath for the count of four. Two, three, four. And then let it out really slowly. Sometimes we do it through pursed lips and it allows you to get into your parasympathetic. Oh, I've got big words. And just feel more comfortable. So just breathe like that for a couple of times now. In for four, nice long breath out. And I want you to bring to mind, again, this is a five out of ten on the level of emotion. Ten out of ten being the worst it could get, nought out of ten is feeling nothing. And as you do that, pick a memory where you didn't feel good at. Five out of ten, no more than that, no more at all. Where you didn't feel good at. Now you've got that. I don't want you to run through it yet. I want you to imagine there's a movie screen in front of you. Because on that movie screen, it's like that memory, but rewound to 15 minutes before it started. Don't worry about it. You might not see it in 20-20 vision. It might be just an awareness and anything between awareness and 20-20 vision is perfect for you. It's just right for you right now. So as you breathe gently, you know you've got like that still picture of a movie in pause, as it were, of that time in the past when you used to feel not good enough. Five out of ten. And I want you to remember those two beliefs. The one from a previous example in your life, an experience in your life where you did feel good. And that belief that you must have had. And that belief that you've made up, as it were. You know a belief that would really support you. Now I've got this. Happy days. I'm here to learn and have fun. And as you bring those two beliefs together, as they were, and you can begin to feel the feelings of what those two beliefs do to you at the unconscious and conscious level. How does it feel when you feel those two beliefs are so strong? And as you feel that feeling, and you can hear those two beliefs going in your internal dialogue, you can imagine pressing play and watch that movie of the past. But this time with this feeling and these two beliefs, they're in play. And notice how that movie of that memory changes. How it could have been if you'd have had these two beliefs and this emotion. How they would have created wonderful behaviours. Maybe give you that inner confidence, that competence or feeling of calmness. Just notice how that movie changed. Because it does and...
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FMQ 520 I'm Not Good Enough Where'd That Come From?
11/21/2025
FMQ 520 I'm Not Good Enough Where'd That Come From?
I'm Not Good Enough Where'd That Come From? In this slightly longer Five-Minute Quickie, we’re digging into one of the sneakiest, most stubborn beliefs so many of us carry around: “I’m not good enough.” Where did it come from? Why does it stick? And how do we uncover what’s really underneath it? This FMQ is all about preparing you for the deeper dive coming in the next longer episode, where I’ll be guiding you through a process to change this belief for good. But first, we need a seed — a direction — so when we get there, your unconscious mind is already lined up and ready to shift. What We Explore Today How “I’m not good enough” often starts with something very specific. Why a general belief always has a more personal root underneath it. The types of life experiences where this message gets planted. How your unconscious mind tries (clumsily!) to protect you with limiting beliefs. A gentle exercise to uncover the real identity belief below the surface. Your Mini-Mission Before we get to the long episode: Notice the feeling of “I’m not good enough.” Keep the intensity no higher than a 5 out of 10. Ask: “I’m not good enough because I’m…?” Let the deeper belief rise — something identity-level like “I’m stupid,” “I’m invisible,” “I’m useless.” Just notice it. No fixing today — just understanding. This gentle curiosity will set you up beautifully for the transformation we’ll create together next week. Don’t Miss the Next Episode That’s where we take this seed, this awareness, and change the belief at the unconscious level. Not with willpower. Not with talking. But with a real process. Share with your friends so we can all make this change together Shine Brightly 🌟 Paul Hey there! I’d love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at . Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review . Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit . Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to . Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure. Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on , Castbox, , YouTube, or on our . Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨ Music Credits Music by from , Music by from , Music by from , Music by from , Music by from . And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism FMQ520 I'm Not Good Enough Where'd That Come From Hey, this five-minute quickie, I'm not good enough. Where did that come from? Slow down, Paul. Where did that come from? And we're going to go there, we're going to just have a little look at this to see where this belief of I'm not good enough, oh, you know, I don't deserve it, or, you know, I have to be a perfectionist, a perfectionist, I don't know why I said that. But just that, I think we've all got a belief like I'm not good enough. And the I think it comes from something else, something more specific. And when we look at the specific and understand it, guess what, sometimes it just disappears. And the thing is, that's what we're going to do. This is, again, a FMQ with a difference. Because it's not just me rambling, although it is a bit. It's all about working out something. So we're prepared for a longer podcast. And in that longer podcast, we can then dive more deeply into that subject and allow it to disappear, come up with a process. So this is what we're going to do. I'm not good enough. Where did it really come from? Now, a lot of you and me, we've just been told it. You've just been told it, you've been told it by your family, maybe members of your family. Sometimes when we think back, we can remember being told, you're just not good enough, you'll never make it. I know I was told that one time about I wanted to be an artist. I don't think I was ever going to be that good. But I had a dream to be an artist. And guess what, I was told, oh, there's so many good artists that don't make it, and you're never going to make it. Now that had more than just the effect of saying, oh, well, you know, I'm not gonna be an artist. It did create negative beliefs in my life, which I've changed now. I've changed. And you can because you can change all negative beliefs, by the way, even a core belief, identity belief, we can change them. So don't worry about that. Where else have you been told it? Have you thought about school? Now, what were you told at school? My son, Joseph, is a perfect example for this. He was told at his, I think it was his last year of primary school, before going on to big school. He was asked to stand up in class and answer a question. And he got embarrassed. He got nervous and couldn't answer and was told by the teacher, well, if you can't answer this, Joseph, you'll never make it in the big school. And he struggled. He really struggled to to go through big school. I didn't know this at the time. He told me later, but he really struggled. But the thing is, never make it. What a load of bollocks that is, because he now is changing people's lives, or helping change. He doesn't do it specifically. He is a facilitator for changing people's lives. And he does it online. He's got millions of downloads. He runs such a successful online mastermind group, as it were. It's a mastermind family that changes, has a whole set of modules of helping people change their core issues, negative core issues, to come out the other side and enjoying their dreams, creating their dreams. He has a wonderful set of hypnosis tracks, far bigger than mine. Oh, it's massive. One of the biggest online. Joseph Clough hypnosis. You have to listen to that and see if you can tell what happened when he was a child, because he has changed. What else? Maybe friends. Maybe those bloody kids having a, you know, bullying. I remember working with a guy who got bullied so much. That he just couldn't talk to people. And how did it affect him? Well, he couldn't talk to his daughters. We had to do some work on that. But when we changed that belief about not being able to talk, oh, he changed. And he didn't just change with his daughters. He changed in his work. He changed everything in his life. He had an inner confidence, as it were. What else? Well, you see, sometimes it's your unconscious mind. Your unconscious mind chooses for you to have a belief of, I'm not good enough, or something just before that, that morphs or generalizes into, I'm not good enough. Something happens when you're younger and your unconscious mind goes, I don't like this for you. I want to protect you from it. And it gives you a feeling. It gives you a negative belief, a limiting belief that over time, it uses in different areas of your life, not the same type of problem, but similar problems. And therefore the generalizes into, I'm not good enough from a specific to a general. And if you work on that general, you'll get a general result. And for you, I want a specific result. Because when you let go of the specific issue, all the effects have to disappear too. They just disappear. So what I want you to do is when you're thinking of, I'm not good enough, I want you to think of examples. Not 10 out of 10, if 10 is the worst, not being, I don't feel it at all, but a five, five out of 10, because this is just exploratory. And what I want you to do is think, go back in, in your memories. You find that feeling of I'm not good enough. And with that feeling, imagine being just drawn back into the past, just a little bit, make sure it's a five, no more five out of 10. Just drawn back to think of times when you just didn't feel good enough. It was, that was an event that made you feel this way. But when you're there, just feel that feeling. And maybe you'll find the cause of it. The very first time you felt that way. And you see, when you get to that very first time, you tend to find there's a different emotion there. It could be fear, could be embarrassment. That's been generalizing to, I'm not good enough, because you can see how it would, wouldn't you over time. But just spend a little time doing that. Say, I am saying over and over again, nothing more than a five out of 10. Because I don't want you to go on a, on something which is traumatic and go back in the past, because that's a fucking no, no, you don't do that. There's plenty of other processes that we can do that doesn't need that at all. This is just following I'm not good enough back. And it's just curiosity. See if I can find the cause of I'm not good enough. But the thing is, here's the thing. If you're, if you do that, and you find the cause, great, you got an idea, you got an idea where it came from. But here's the thing. If you didn't, or you think, oh, I don't really want to do that. I don't want to go back in time. No worries. Got you covered. Because I can do it in any way, shape or form. Because that's what we do here. So how do you do it? This part is just right for you. Or if you didn't find this just right for you. I want you to start with that general belief. I'm not good at, or whatever it is for you. I don't belong here. It's that you can imagine it's like an umbrella belief. But and it covers different areas. And that's how it's generalized. So start with that. And as you think about it, you'll get that emotion. Yeah. So I'm not good enough. I shouldn't be here. I don't belong. Whatever it is. You fill in the blank and get that feeling. Where is it in your body? Where exactly is it in your body? And put your hand on it. I always tell my clients, I ask, where'd you feel that feeling? Oh, I feel it here, Paul. I feel it in my gut. So put your hand on it. Because when you put your hand on it, you're selling your unconscious mind. Not only the feeling, I know where it is. Here it is. You're having a dialogue now, communication with your unconscious mind. And as you feel the feeling, and this is, this is the thing. Feel the feeling now. Feel the feeling and say, I'm not good enough because I'm, and keep asking that. I'm not good enough because I'm, I'm not good enough because I'm, and what'll happen as you get into that feeling, keep thinking of that feeling, is to ask your unconscious mind, I want to find the cause of this belief, the real belief that's underneath it. I'm not good enough. Feel the feeling because I'm, and it'll be something like, I'm stupid. I'm useless. I should be invisible. Something like that. And it'll have I in front of it because it's an identity belief. And that's what I say, we can change beliefs about our identity, easy and effortlessly, but you've got to find them first. When you think about it, and it comes up, and I've had so many times when I've worked with people and they are so good at what they do, yet they have this feeling of not good enough. And when we go back, they go, oh, actually, Paul, I'm stupid. And I can now remember being told that by certain people. And I can remember, not necessarily a specific event, but it being there, and it makes so much sense now. I can see how my unconscious mind didn't like that and has protected me. And things like made me want to be a perfectionist, had to try super hard. Now, the thing is, with you trying super hard when you're like that, because of the fear, the fear of failure, the fear of being an embarrassment or being embarrassed, the fear of just standing out in a not a good way, failing. And we know there's no failure by any feedback, but at the time, we think it's failure. And our unconscious mind makes us, to protect us, gives us this feeling, I'm not good enough. Or I'm stupid and generalise into things like I'm not good enough. And it makes you want to be a perfectionist or just protect you to make sure you do that. And then it gets overwhelming. And because of that, it then spreads into other areas of life. But now we've got it. And what we're going to do when we got it, you got to listen to the longer podcast. Because this is like selling the seed, I just want you to explore, be curious. Where did this come from? I'm not good enough. I don't belong here. That type of thing, you fill in the blank. And then we find that belief that just below the surface. And you'll know it. Because it's like that thing where you just get that intuition, I can't even say the bloody thing, intuition, where you go, this feels right. I don't know how it how I know it's right. It just feels right. And now we've got a grasp of it. And we're going to take it and change it. But just sometimes understanding it, it'll disappear. Because you can go, Oh, I can see how my own contrast wanted to try to protect me. But now we're going to find a better way. And that's where we go with the longer podcast. Okay. So that's where it came from. Look out for the longer podcast, because that's where we're going to let it go. Okay. So until then, remember to subscribe, remember to share, do all of this stuff. And I'll see you in the longer podcast. Have fun. See you soon. Transcribed by . Personal development [Unplugged] [podcast][NLP][Hypnosis][self development]self improvement][awareness]
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#468 I Feel Sh*t So Let's Change
11/14/2025
#468 I Feel Sh*t So Let's Change
I Feel Sh*t So Let's Change This Episode in a Nutshell In this deeper dive of Personal Development Unplugged, we get real about feeling stuck, low, anxious or just “not ourselves” — and what to actually do about it. No more endless talking, analysing or looping the same bloody thoughts. This is about changing how you feel at the unconscious level, where these issues were created… and where they can be changed. If you’ve ever struggled to remember what “good” even feels like, or wondered why you can’t just think your way out of the cycle, this episode gives you a gentle, powerful way to move forward — using your imagination, memory, and your very real inner resources. What You’ll Learn • Why “talking about your issue” rarely creates real change Talking keeps you in your conscious mind — the part that didn’t create the problem. So it can’t resolve it. • Why your unconscious mind is the key Your unconscious created these feelings to protect you. It just chose a bad strategy. So we go back to that level to educate it and update it. • How to discover how you actually want to feel (Not as easy as people pretend. But we make it easy.) • How to use memories to unlock feelings you thought you’d lost If you can imagine the feeling, you have felt it before — we just need to uncover the counter-examples. • A step-by-step method to go from “how I feel now” → “how I want to feel” Including the powerful “middle feeling” bridge that stops your brain panicking and makes real change doable. • How to create experiences in your future that your unconscious mind believes are real And therefore starts acting on them now. Why This Matters Because you deserve better than living with old, outdated emotional programmes. Because you are more than the issue you’re experiencing. Because feeling good, calm, confident or safe isn’t a fantasy — it’s a memory inside you waiting to be brought forward. And because change doesn’t require force, pressure or reliving the past. It requires permission, imagination and simple steps. Your Simple Action Steps Write down how you feel now. Be honest. No judgement. Write down how you want to feel. This is the feeling you’d choose if everything was just right. Find the halfway feeling. The emotional stepping stone. Use your imagination: Visualise yourself feeling the way you want to feel, in the exact context where you currently struggle. Drop into a memory: Let your unconscious find a time you actually felt this way before. Blend them. Bring that old feeling into the imagined future — your brain doesn’t know the difference. Repeat with curiosity. It’s simple. It’s gentle. And it works. Cloughie’s Notes (The Heart-to-Heart Bit) You are not broken. You don’t need fixing. You simply learned a way of coping that doesn’t serve you anymore. And just as you learned it, you can unlearn it. And relearn something far better. This episode is my way of guiding you to the place where you can make that change — easily, naturally, gently. Because you matter. And because I know what it’s like to feel lost. And I know what it’s like to find the way back. Useful Links • Free Hypnosis Library: paulcloughonline.com/podcast • Episode Mentioned: #78.1 – "My Qualities" • Instagram & Email: If something comes up, message me. We’ll explore it in future episodes. Call to Action If this episode touched you, helped you, or even nudged you a little — please share it with someone who might need it. And subscribe, because the next episodes are going even deeper with real processes that create real change. Have more fun than you can stand. And remember: Change isn’t magic… but it is magical. Shine Brightly 🌟 Paul Hey there! I’d love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at . Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review . Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit . Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to . Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure. Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on , Castbox, , YouTube, or on our . Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨ Music Credits Music by from , Music by from , Music by from , Music by from , Music by from . And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism #468 I Feel Sh*t So Let's Change Hey my friend, back for a longer episode of the Personal Development Unplugged podcast. So meet your friend Paul. And on the last FMQ, which is supposed to be a five minute quickie, but now they're slightly longer because they're seeded as in sowing the seed for the longer podcast. And it was the last one was time to stop talking. Time to change. And one of the things I asked you to do if you did listen to that was to decide, think how you want to feel. Now, if you did listen to that and you did write them down, that'd be brilliant. If you didn't, it'd be good to go back. But if not, just carry on listening because you see, for some people, how you want to feel to think and be asked how you want to feel. It's bloody difficult. You've lived with this for so long. I'll go into that in a minute. But for some of you, you haven't really got an issue issue. And you're thinking, why am I going to listen to this? Because everyone has a little issue. Even if you don't have a big issue, you have times where you're going to do something in the day. And we can decide how we want to change, how we want to be, how we want to feel, how we want to act and the beliefs we have with that. So this is going to help too. And if you've got an issue, and it's a big issue, you know what I always say, please go and see a therapist one to one, get in their face as it were, get them to guide you to make that change quickly. See a wonderful hypnotherapist who does timeline therapy and NLP and you will get get your result really quickly. And if you do decide to do that, what we're going to do today will still help. In fact, it will probably speed up the process anyway. But we've always, we've all got something I guess we're slightly anxious about, nervous, fearful, maybe it's a little bit of, I don't belong here. You know, I feel an imposter. All that stuff is there. But you see, when you're in it, in the issue, and it is an issue, and you've had it for a long time, it's really difficult to know how to feel, or how you want to feel. I've worked with a lady a long time ago, 15 years clinically depressed, that's what she was diagnosed at, told by doctors at the hospital, went as far as the hospital, no more drugs, we've got no more drugs that can help you. So it's this awe, and I had to ask, but what's the awe? And she said, well, I don't know, you know, I'm just on these drugs, Paul, I just need to change. And I said, I want you to think of the last time you were happy. Not wackedly happy, but just mildly happy. And she said, I don't think I've ever been happy. And now I knew that was a lie. But in those 15 years, like the walls of that depression had been her only experience, and it knocked out all the others. So sometimes it's very difficult to remember. Remember times when, how you want to feel, or just to remember times when you felt good. Now then, I can remember a time, and I can remember it quite clearly now, but without the emotion. It was a time back in my past when it didn't feel bad. I felt absolutely devastated. I was so bad, so bad that I would just fall down on the floor, not dramatically. I just crumple up on the floor and start crying. And I knew something had triggered it off. I knew I was in a shit place. I just couldn't stop. And then I'd carry on. And it was so weird. So weird. I had to carry out a job on the outside, and be the Cloughie that everyone thought I was. But inside, I wasn't that at all. It was terrible. So what I have to say, that is the worst time of my life. I actually wrote a book about it called, it doesn't have to be this way. You can't find it because I didn't publish it. I did it online and things like that. But now I've left that alone. But it was me talking about how I became my own therapist. And the very first thing I did when I was my own therapist, was to try to feel alive again. Because I didn't feel I had anything at all. Now I know, or I'm hoping, you don't feel that way. Not as bad as that. And you can maybe think of times in the past when you felt the way you wanted to feel. If you remember, I've asked you to make that list. How would you like to feel instead? But if it's difficult, this is what I want you to do first. And this is what I did. And when I did it, it made a difference to me. And I'll explain it in a minute. And also, this process I developed for myself. We begin, or my son and I began to use it in our trainings to help people. And it just seems, or we use it now all the time. And I've called it my qualities. And basically, it's a mind map. And in the middle of my piece of paper, I do a circle and it's just my qualities. And I wanted somehow inside me, my uncle's mindset, start writing this. Let's find out a little bit to remember about you, Cloughie. And the thing is, I sat there with that piece of paper in my special little quiet place outside in the garden. It was just me, the birds, lovely sunshine, feeling shit, feeling down, really down. A black hole really. And could I find a bloody quality? Not one, not one. And I thought, well, I've got to write something down. So what did I write? I said, well, you're breathing. That is a quality of life, isn't it? It is a quality. Because if you haven't got that quality, you ain't here. So I wrote, well, one of my qualities, at least I can breathe. And then I thought, well, if I can breathe, what else can I do? Well, there's all the things I can do. I can walk, I can talk, I can write. I've learned lots of things. So if I've learned lots of things, I have the ability to learn. That's a quality to be able to learn. And then I thought of something like, well, if I've learned and stuff I've been doing is I've been sharing my learnings. So in some way, I'm a little bit of a teacher. And then you go, well, actually, I'm a pretty good hypnotist. So there's a quality, isn't it? And no hypnosis, I've learned hypnosis, I can learn, I can share, and I can use hypnosis to help others. So here's a quality, I help others. And then it was like the floodgates didn't open like, but they opened a bit. And more qualities came to my mind. And I wrote them down, each one, a line away from that middle circle of my qualities. And over a period, I guess it was about an hour, I filled up the whole bloody page. And that day, the floodgates opened more and more and more. So my mind was able to really find all the qualities that I had. And I know when I look at it now, I've got so many more. But just sitting in my quiet place, just looking at my qualities, it gave me a feeling of hope, a little bit of confidence in myself, but to feel that I'm someone who is worth looking after. Now, if you feel like that, not as down as that, if you're down as that, you know, I was my own therapist, but go and see a therapist. But when you're, just do this exercise for me anyway. Because wherever you are in your life, knowing your qualities, because we forget the bloody things we don't think we've taken for granted. And I'll tell you what you have more qualities than you can think of right now. And when you understand your qualities, you go, you know what your self esteem starts to get up there because you think, yeah, I'm a bloody good person. I've got all this stuff. And what else? And what else? And how can I add to this? Now find yourself a quiet place, piece of paper and a pen, pencil in the middle, draw a circle, write my qualities and then draw lines away. And at the end of every line or on a line, write down one of your qualities and just sit with it. Keep sitting with it and it'll come out. Now, if you want some hypnosis to help you with this, I did one a long, long time ago. And it's hashtag 78.1. So that was a longer podcast, hashtag 78. You can have a listen to that if you wanted to. There'll be more on this. Or go to my hypnosis site, paulcloughonline.com forward slash podcast and get access to 60 odd hypnosis tracks. One of them, 78.1, go down there and have a listen to that too. And that would like put it all together. And as you're there, just flick through, flick through all the rest because there'll be one or two that jump out at you and they're going to go add this to what we're going to do. Because this will help you find the ways you want to feel. But the thing is, even now with all my qualities, I've got my qualities now. You've done it quietly, you sat down, you read them and go, yeah, that's me. There's more to come, I know, because you will be empowered. You're going to get some real inner confidence in yourself, self-esteem. And you know, you're worth a lot more than you thought. But what does this mean? What is it? What? How is this going to help you find out how you want to feel? I'll tell you, because it's brought your self-esteem up a little bit. But now we're going to get back into really how you want to feel. And it's in small steps. But first of all, write down how you want to feel. Now, you may have done it easily and effortlessly, from the last five minute quickie. If you did, maybe just look at them again and maybe add one or two. But what I want to do now is, and by the way, if you haven't done it, start to think of how you want to feel. You see, but what I want you to do, because you know how you feel now. And maybe just, if you've got, again, a piece of paper, you've literally got three columns. On the left hand column, it's how do I feel now? And on the far right hand column, how do I want to feel? And I know, as I said before, they're not opposite. They're not just, I'm unconfident, I want to feel confident. No, it may be, I just want to feel calm, collected. I want to feel comfortable. I want to feel competent. I want to feel, there's so many different, but you put down how you feel now and then, oops, and how you want to feel at the end. If you could have that feeling, what would it be? Now, the thing is, you've got a list now, probably. We're going to do one at a time. But the thing is, it's a hell of a jump to go from how you feel now to how you want to feel. And I understand that. So look at your qualities. Just forget that self-esteem. And then look at the first one. This is how I feel right now. This is how I want to feel. Now, in between that, there's a middle feeling, a middle feeling that's like a step towards how you want to feel. And I just want you to go through and think, well, what is the midway point of feelings, that emotion? What would it be? So maybe it's to get to confidence. I just want to feel competent. I just want to feel in myself, secure in my, maybe secure in myself, something like that. And you find these midway points, midway emotions, midway feelings. They're like the stepping stone from one to the other, how you feel now to how you want to feel. Here's a stepping stone in between. Now then, here's a little bit, you know, just to try to think of that, how I want to feel. Try to think of the opposite to me. And the thing is, make it up. Because sometimes it's so difficult, you know, because we get conscious in it. But using your imagination. You see, if you think about it, well, because it's in my imagination, it doesn't have to be true. Because I'm just dreaming it. So think of that context of when I feel, when I'm in this context, this is how I feel. This is this type of event. This is how I feel. And I don't like it. But in the same context, if it was just the way I want it, let's just imagine how I want to be, see it in your mind. See yourself, just play with it. See yourself being exactly the way you want to be. And that's all it is. It's just your imagination. So you can be exactly how you want to be. And as you do that, you'll be able to get a feeling. And that's the feeling you want. Now what's that middle step? So you've got a feeling now you really have got the feeling of how you want to be. And that middle step, the in-between emotion. And sometimes you might just feel it, you might not be able to put a label to it, just feel it. Maybe you just feel it, or you've got a label to it. I want you to close your eyes. Just for a moment. Make sure there's nothing that you need, or needs your attention, you're not driving or doing anything like that. You can do eyes open. It's just sometimes it blocks away the distractions. And I want to think of a time as you go into that middle feeling, think of a time when you had that feeling. Just think about it. There's a memory somewhere that you had that feeling. And write it out. Just a couple of lines. I remember. This is what happened. This is the way I felt. Now it could well be that the how you feel and how you want to feel is not that far too far apart. You know, say this isn't the biggest issue. It's just I get anxious when I do this. How do I want to feel? Well, I know and it's not that big a jump. When you write down instead of having the middle, the intermediate step, as it were, you've just got the start, how you feel now and how you want to feel. Go again into your memory, go, I want to imagine myself being that way, the way I really want to be. And as I imagine myself, I've got that feeling. When did I feel that feeling before? Because I know you have. And the reason I know you have is because you wouldn't be able to feel the bloody thing if you didn't or hadn't felt it before, because it would be so totally alien to you. So go into that feeling, go into that and then just guide yourself back into a memory when you felt it before. And as you go back into that memory, just notice how comfortable you feel, because sometimes we never know when we're safe and being protected because we're just in the moment. We're feeling comfortable. We're just doing what we're doing and we're enjoying it. We only feel unsafe, fearful, anxious. But in that feeling of how you want to be, there is no anxiety. There is no fear. It's just you being the way you want to be. And because of that, you are totally safe because you're seeing yourself being totally safe. Now, what we're doing here, we are creating counter examples. So when you go back into your memories, you go, there was a time when I was, it doesn't matter how old you were, there was a time when I felt that way. It's a counter example to your unconscious mind saying, look, you're creating this...
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FMQ 519 Talking's Over It's Time To Change
11/07/2025
FMQ 519 Talking's Over It's Time To Change
Talking's Over It's Time To Change In this slightly-longer FMQ, we’re taking a gentle but powerful step toward real change. No more talking about the issue. No more cycling through the same thoughts. This episode is all about shifting your focus to what actually creates transformation — how you want to feel. So many of us get stuck talking, thinking, analysing… and nothing changes. Why? Because talking doesn’t always touch the unconscious mind — the place where these patterns were created in the first place. In this FMQ, I share: The real difference between empathy and compassion (and why empathy can overload you) Why talking about problems rarely changes them Where real emotional change really happens The simple, powerful pre-work for next week’s longer deep-dive episode How focusing on “how I want to feel” can quietly shift things even before you do any formal process This episode is your gentle setup — your seed — for the bigger, deeper process in next week’s longer podcast. And it’s beautifully simple. ✅ Your 7-Day Challenge (The Seed for Next Week) Each day, take 2–3 quiet minutes and write down: How would I like to feel? Not the issue. Not the problem. Not “what’s wrong”. Just: How do I want to feel instead? Do it in different contexts if you want: With people At work Alone In difficult moments In good moments Then… let it simmer. Let your unconscious mind start doing what it does best. Next week, we’ll take everything you’ve written and go deep with a full process to help make those feelings part of your natural way of being. Why This Matters Because talking doesn’t always change anything — but educating the unconscious mind does. And this tiny step gets you ready for a huge one. Share It Share this FMQ with someone who needs to feel better, think differently, or get ready for some genuine positive change. You might kickstart something wonderful for them. Shine Brightly 🌟 Paul Hey there! I’d love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at . Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review . Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit . Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to . Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure. Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on , Castbox, , YouTube, or on our . Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨ Music Credits Music by from , Music by from , Music by from , Music by from , Music by from . And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism FMQ 519 Talking's Over It's Time To Change Welcome to the five minute quickie podcast with a slight difference. Slight difference is I want you to think about things. So on a longer podcast, we can dive deeply into the subject and also with processes that allow you to change your issues. But what is it today? What is it today? Well, compassion or empathy. You see, I have real trouble with empathy. You see, empathy, if I can say it right, seems to be that you have to feel the feelings of that person to understand them. And I know some really nice people who are mega empathetic. And the thing is, I don't think it does them any good, because they really feel the feelings of someone who is in pain. And they feel in pain. I don't mind empathy when you're, you know, when you're feeling good, I'll join you in that one like no one's business. I'll be there quick as a flash. But as a therapist, I don't want to feel your pain. I really don't. My mother, bless her, she was super empathetic. She would have people come round. And in my mind, they were like, they dumped all their emotional pain on her, left it with her and walked away smiling. And she would then be for days thinking about it, worried about it, feeling it. I don't think that's healthy, do you? Now, what's the difference? Compassion. Compassion. Compassion to me is to understand how you feel, how it affects you. What are the effects of the way you're feeling? How, well, how bad is it? But I need to know from you, how bad it is. What does it feel like? You know, I don't need to feel it myself. Because I trust you. I trust you if you know what, you are the expert in how you feel. Now, there's a real thing in this about having issues. Issues that make you feel pretty shit. And you think, you know, people talk about these things. And this is where the empathy goes, I think. Because they talk and they talk and they talk. And they keep talking and they keep talking about their issue, talking about their issue. And guess what? Nothing changes. And why doesn't it change? Now I know, yeah, yeah, yeah. I know sometimes it does change. Sometimes we get that aha moment. Sometimes that person we're talking to isn't empathetic and can reframe something, get you to think of something in a different way. And you go, oh, that makes so much sense. But that's generally on the lighter side. With issues that are painful, or affect us in so many different ways, talking doesn't necessarily do it, does it? Sure, if you think about it, this is my thoughts anyway. You have been thinking about this for a long time, thinking about your issue, talking to yourself, why me? How bad is it going to be? All those wonderful, bonky, stupid questions. Yes, they're stupid, because they're asking how bad it could be. And your unconscious mind will come and get it for you, show you. But the thing is, all that talking, has it made a scrap of difference? No. Now you see, this is what I think. You see, if you'd have chosen to create this way, way of being, this feeling, consciously, all that thinking, all that talking would have solved it, wouldn't it? Because if you create a problem consciously, you can solve it consciously. And if it's not going, you must have chosen this at an unconscious level. Now, you know that I believe your unconscious mind chooses these ways in a way to protect you. And at the time when it did it, it was the only thing it could do with the experience and wisdom that you had back then. But now it's no longer appropriate. There are better ways. And the thing is, because it was created, chosen by you at the unconscious level, that's where we go to make our changes. We have to educate your unconscious mind. Some people would say reprogram. I don't really like reprogramming. It's just educating your unconscious mind to say, well, are there better ways to keep you protected? We're not going to take away that positive intention of keeping you safe, but is there a better way? Now you and I know there's better ways, far better ways. Now, this is what I want you to do. Because in the longer podcast, I want to dive into this and have a process or two to change. But first of all, I want you to think in a different way. Not why has it happened to me? How bad it can get? All those, as I say, those bonky questions. I want you to start to think quietly, take some time out and just sit down quietly. A piece of paper and a pencil pen is so much better because I want you to write them down so you don't forget them. And then when you come to the longer podcast, we can have a quick squint at them and go, yeah, they're the ones. But the thing is, it's not the issue. I don't want you to write out the issue. Really, Cluffy? Yeah. I thought we were working on issues. No, this is the difference. This is the difference that I think makes a difference. I want you over the next seven odd days, because that's that's been roughly the period next week when the longer podcast comes out, to just sit down five minutes a day, maybe at the most, and write down how you would like to feel. Yeah. How would you like to feel? Forget the way you're feeling because it's not always the opposite. Maybe it is calmness, maybe it's contentment, maybe it's confidence in your competence or competence in your confidence. Maybe it's connection. There are so many different emotions we could have. I don't want you to sit down quiet and go, well, OK, if I could feel the way I want to feel. What would be the most appropriate feeling that I would feel comfortable in? Safe. And it could be in different contexts, remember. So it could well be that, well, sometimes I get this feeling when I'm with people, socialising. How would I like to be? Maybe at work, and there's those meetings, I get, oh, how would I like to feel? Maybe when I'm by myself, how would I like to feel? Always how you like to feel, would like to feel. You can even think, well, if I felt that way, what would the consequences be? What would be the effects of me feeling that way, instead of the old way? But don't think of the old way. Sorry, didn't mean to say that. In those contexts, when I feel the way I want to feel, what would be the effect on the people around me? Me, my confidence, and even further into the future. And that's all I want you to do. Nothing more. Just sit down. That's easy, isn't it? Everyone can do this for two or three minutes. That's all it takes. How do I want to feel? Ask the question, think of a context, and write the bugger down. And I'll tell you what, if you do this, can't guarantee it, can't guarantee it, but what tends to happen is things start to change without you doing any work. But that's what you've got to find out. And you won't find out unless you do this little bit of work. And if you want to change, and you have the will to do whatever it takes, this is easy. And everything we do is easy. And in simplicity, there's genius, and that's what it is. But it takes effort. But I'm only asking you for two minutes of effort. That's all. Two minutes a day, write down how you want to feel. And at the end of the week, maybe, well, what would the consequences and the effects be if I felt those ways in the future? That's it. Notice how you feel differently during those seven days. And then I'll see you at the longer podcast. And then we'll really dive into creating, how to create the way you want to feel to have happen in your life. Okay, that's what we're going to do. Have fun. Have more fun than you can stand. Really hit this one in a lovely gentle way. Just be easy on yourself. Just sit down, think of a comfortable, comfortable feeling. How would I like to feel? Get curious. Okay. So until the next time, my friend, you go do that. Have more fun than you can stand. As I say, share this with people, by the way, because I'd love them to do the same thing. So they could listen to the longer podcast and make the changes that they need to make for themselves. Because that's what you do. You're going to be making this change yourself. Not me, not at all. I will guide you, but you're going to drive the bus. Have fun. And I'll see you next week. I'll see you at the next episode. Time to fly personal development. Unplugged. Transcribed by . Personal development [self improvement] [self development] [NLP] [Hypnosis]
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#467 How To Achieve Your Goals Easily
10/31/2025
#467 How To Achieve Your Goals Easily
How To Achieve Your Goals Easily There’s an easier way to achieve your dreams and goals — one that actually feels good and keeps you motivated the whole way through. In this episode, I share a simple but powerful approach to goal setting that most people miss: starting from the last step — that moment when you’ve already achieved your goal — and using that feeling to drive you forward. You’ll discover how to find your true why, anchor your motivation, and create a plan that’s realistic, energising, and deeply aligned with what you want. And there’s more — I’ll also guide you through a special hypnosis process designed to connect your conscious and unconscious minds, so the path to your goals becomes effortless and natural. This isn’t about grinding harder or forcing success. It’s about feeling your way into it — knowing exactly what success looks and feels like so you can enjoy every step along the way. In this episode: The often-overlooked final step that makes all the difference in goal achievement How to find and anchor your true motivation (your why) Why traditional goal-setting keeps you stuck and how to flip it The role of your unconscious mind in creating success A guided hypnosis process to help you align and take inspired action Takeaway: When you start from the feeling of already having achieved your goal, and anchor that emotion, everything changes. Obstacles shrink, motivation grows, and the steps become natural. Listen now — and let’s make your goals easier, more joyful, and truly yours. Then let's share it with others Shine Brightly 🌟 Oh! And the video link Paul Hey there! I’d love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at . Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review . Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit . Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to . Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure. Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on , Castbox, , YouTube, or on our . Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨ Music Credits Music by from , Music by from , Music by from , Music by from , Music by from . And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism #467 How To Achieve Your Goals Easily . Hey, welcome to the Lungar podcast. How to achieve your goals the easy way. And yes, there is an easy way. And if you think about it, everyone talks, gives advice, maybe gives a workshop, give masterclasses in goal setting. And so many just go through the steps. But some forget that visualisation of the last step. And the last step is not the last step just before you get it. The last step is having already got your goal. You've achieved it. You're just about to move on. And you see, when you know that that's the step and you have it, so you know the step, you have that step, things just seem so good. You feel so incredible. You feel so motivated. You feel so confident because you've already achieved it. It's as if you have already achieved it. And I do this in so many ways in my trainer's training. I had to visualise not getting the certificate because that wasn't it for me. It was sitting alone on these steps out on the balcony in Santa Cruz University, holding my certificate just by myself saying, Bloody hell Cloughie, we did it. That was my confirmation. And the thing is, the weird thing about that was, when we were given the certificates, someone had forgotten to sign them. So the certificates didn't actually mean anything. That's so weird. So weird. But that feeling that I took through the whole of, it was July, a few years ago, but the whole of July, I had that sense, that feeling, Cloughie, we've done it. And that helped me through all sorts of obstacles and things like that. But we just did it. And that's the one thing that a lot of people forget. They think it's just, imagine you've got the, no, no, think of the very last step to know to guarantee that you've got that step. Because if you think about it, that is your feeling of the why, isn't it? Your why. Because if it doesn't feel great, then it isn't the right goal. Or you haven't just massaged the goal to be the right goal for you. You've maybe just followed a path that your peers say this is the thing to do or society or whatever it is. But you get that feeling and you go, yeah, this is it. This is right for me. And that's what it is right for you. So it becomes your why. Now, some people also, even if they do that, they forget, forget to anchor that feeling. Anchoring is stimulus and response. So when you feel that feeling of the feeling of the wish fulfilled, that feeling that you've got that goal, you've achieved it, you're about to move on, you get that feeling. Now, when you think when you're about to go through your goal, all the steps to achieve that goal, yeah, you're going to get that feeling, but to fire it at will by firing off an anchor, man, you're motivated. Your unconscious mind goes, this is where we're going. You're telling your unconscious mind exactly the direction you want to go. And it makes all the steps that you put in front of you easier. And even if there are obstacles, like the hero's journey, you're leaving home, you're moving around different obstacles, mentors come along, all that stuff, that anchor will allow you to go all the way and come back home with that goal completed. Now, I'm doing a lot of this, but some start at the beginning of a goal. So you've got your goal, you know what you're going to do, we've forgotten about the last step, we've forgotten about the anchoring, but we're just going to do the goal setting. And what's the first step you're going to do? And then they work out all the steps. Now, problem is, when you start at the beginning, and you slightly go a little bit off to the left, or maybe a little bit to the right, or something distracts you, you're miles off course. And as you go miles off course, you tend to get deflated. This is my thought, this doesn't feel right. You know, you can think about your goal, but it's not tangible, you can't grip it in your hands, because somehow you've taken a wrong step. So that doesn't work. So let's turn it around. Some really do get it right. Some really do get it right. And they think of the last step, they get that feeling. Some might even anchor it. And they don't start at the first step, they start at the very last step. And work back through every step of the way, every step in detail. So you know exactly what you're going to do. Now, in theory, that's the best thing to do. If this is my last step, what have I got to do just before that step? And what have I got to do just before that step? What have I got to do before that step? And bloody overwhelming, isn't that? That's great. That is a wonderful way to do it. Ish. I only say ish, because it's my opinion. That is a better way. If you did those three things, get that feeling, get that why. Maybe anchor it, and then start from the last step. But that could mean waiting round, or waiting around, because you've got to do all that bloody work from the last step, the step before that step before that step before that. And then it's so overwhelming. It's overwhelming because you think, shit, this is going to take longer than I thought. This is going to take so much more effort. And sometimes it takes so long to get your foot on the first bloody run of that goal, to make the first step, to make the first movement, that you're disillusioned, you haven't, the motivation's gone and you've forgotten the bloody why now, because you spent so many times all that step there, then I got to do this, then I got to do that, then I got to do this. So there is a different way. And I think it's a really easy way. It's an easy way to, I think, achieve your goal, but also to enjoy the process. Because if you don't enjoy the process and the actions of the goals, yes, that might be difficult. But you still got to enjoy and have that feeling of the wish fulfilled, have that feeling of the last step and feel motivated through. Because if you don't, you won't get through the hurdles, the little obstacles in the way. You won't see opportunities. You won't be able to circumvent them or even find that the goal can be even better. So what's the answer? You're probably saying, what's the answer, Cloughie? I know you are. I'm not going to give it to you. Yes, I am. Yes, I am. I just made myself laugh that is. Anyway, so what's the answer? The last step is so critical. It is critical. And sometimes it's difficult to find the last step. We tend to think the last step is this, but it's actually one more step on. You know, some people, I used to, we used to talk to our therapists, or we used to train therapists in getting their, you know, the programme of getting a lovely life, professional life of being a therapist. And we'd say, you know, what is your last step? When you know you're really, you're supporting yourself. And they go, my diary is full. My diary is full. Now I know I've got it because I've got a full diary, because at the moment, it's one or two people. And you go, okay, yeah, fine. That could be a last step. But what if they cancel? What if they cancel? Okay. What about if I see a check? If I see a check? Okay. Checks are in the old days, by the way. But even if someone puts some money through it, it bounces. It doesn't come right. They don't commit. Maybe the last step is paying your tax bill. Because that means you've done the work. You've been paid. And you're celebrating by paying your tax, because you've earned the money that you want. And the tax bill is the tax bill you want to pay, because it demonstrates how much you've earned. That could be the very last step. Now, to make some people say, oh, I don't want to pay tax. But if you know that you are contributing, but you know that that would mean that you have earned supporting yourself, and you had a great time doing it. Maybe that's the last step. Okay, so you need to think about that last step to make sure it is the very last step. Remember what I said about my certificate? It wasn't bloody signed. But it wasn't until I sat by myself and looked at that certificate with the signatures, saying Paul Clough. So if I train a NLP, yeah, we did it Cloughie. And even that we did it Cloughie is a wonderful. It's just in there all the time with me now. We did it. So that's important. That is really important. And we also have to think of responsibility. Again, sometimes we, you see, I can give a sort of guarantee. But the guarantee is, you have to do the will, have the will to do whatever it takes, because you really want it. And it can't be anybody else's. You can't be doing it for anybody else. It's purely for you. Because that feeling of the wish fulfilled, the feeling of completing is just yours alone. Remember, it's just yours alone. Yeah, other people get the benefit. But it's yours alone. So just be honest, and also be honest, how long you're going to take. Now, remember, when we think about how long it will take. Sometimes in the short term, we go, oh, well, we can do this, this and this and this. And we overestimate what we can do in the short term. But countering that we always overestimate what we could do in the long term. So we have to take into account what we've got to do in our life in the world in the short term. Because you've got other responsibilities. But also think, well, it's going to take this long, maybe it's going to take six months to get this goal. Well, six months, could I do it in five, honestly do it in five? Or is it over? Is that too tight? Maybe five is doable. Maybe it's a month. Okay, a month that I've got things to do, but I think, maybe pull it back to three, or is a month too short? Maybe it's five weeks. So just get it right. Be honest with yourself, look at the stuff you've got going around you, because those will pull against that. We forget, you know, I can do this goal. But you forget you've got other goals, or other responsibilities. So just look at the responsibilities you've got. Look what time you've got available. And when that time available, how long will it take? And remember, you've got to take a bit of time out, by the way, because you can't do seven days a week for however long. You need a bit of time to yourself to just relax. Because you need to give yourself the present of just being by yourself sometimes or just going, I'm taking stock of myself, going to do a review, I'm just going to enjoy myself for a day, do nothing. Because that's revitalising yourself. Maybe just spend the time just thinking of that wish fulfilled, that last step. Now, here's the thing. We don't work from the last step. We have that, because we've got to anchor it. Because we said that's what people do. That's a good, the good thing to people do. We look at the last step. The one that we know that guarantees us success. We've got success. We anchor it. We might even give ourselves a little word, we've got this Cloughie. We've got this. Or whatever your wholesome would be. It'll come to you. Because we're going to fire that off with every step along the way. But now we look at where would halfway be? Where would halfway be? What would I have to be achieving at the halfway stage in order for me to get to that goal? Where would the halfway be? Now, sometimes you might go, well, halfway is, that's quite a long way too. Maybe that's three months down the line on a six months contract. Or contract, we talk about Cloughie. A six months project, a six months goal. So maybe you want to bring it down a little bit. Make it manageable. Because all these steps want to be manageable, so you can hit them. And when you hit them, you go, yeah, we did that. Well, come on, bring on the next one. We're moving, we're getting there. We're moving towards what we want. We don't want to go away from stuff we want to move towards with wonderful, a wonderful sense of purpose and success. So maybe just take four weeks. Where would I have to be in any length of goal in four weeks? Now, obviously, if it's a four week goal, you want to make it in two weeks. Yeah, halfway, because halfway is doable. But on a longer, longer project, a longer goal, four weeks is manageable. Whatever you do, though, it's got to be halfway if it's less than four weeks, or four weeks, if that's less than half. Because anything can be done in four weeks. And you can manage four weeks, you can look at what your responsibilities are in four weeks. The things you need to do to make sure when you think of where you have to be in that four weeks, in order for you to get to your goal, it's doable. Because when it's doable, you can commit. So in that four weeks, you say, okay, what's the very first step? Just before that? So it's like the first step, the very last step, then the very last step before that last bit of that four weeks that I'd have to achieve. Because now you're on just the one before that, and then the one bit just before that. And now you're only working out the steps in four weeks. Now they're manageable. They're also, you can do it pretty quickly. And you're not, it's not overwhelming, because it's only four weeks. And if it is overwhelming, bring it even smaller, maybe two weeks, where I would have to be in two weeks in order to get to the four weeks in order to get to the next two weeks after that six weeks. Easy peasy. Easy peasy. In simplicity, there's genius. And this is so fucking simple. But it means with every step of the way, firing off the anchor, getting that feeling and that word, go through every step, you are going to crush it every two weeks. Well, every day, if there's a daily part you're going to do, because it's doable. So just break it down into those periods. We're going to visualise the process in a minute. Because I want you to go through this process. It'll be like visualising a little bit hypnosis, maybe you're going to go into a different place because your eyes will be closed. You'll be visualising, seeing something in your mind, which is, you know, another dimension. The reason your eyes are closed, by the way, you don't need to. No one needs to close their eyes to visualise. We daydream every daydream day of the week. But it just takes away the distractions of everything out there. So you can go inside and really give your time to yourself. The reason I want to do it this way is because a lot of goal setting is all consciousness, or using your conscious mind to do everything. And that's fine. That's fine. But you're not just your conscious mind. You're your conscious mind and your unconscious mind. And when they work together, boom, absolutely boom, you've got it. So that's why I want to get this, you know, they call it alignment. Being congruent. Because when you truly believe unconsciously and consciously, this is the thing to do. This is the direction to go. You get that feeling. You're unstoppable, man. Woman, guy, whoever you are. Friend. So here's what we're going to do. And I'll explain a little bit of the process first. And then we'll just do it together. So the first of all, you're going to state your outcome. What the hell is this goal? Be specific. And I'd like you to, you know, a lot of the times write the buggy, the thing down, get it out your head onto paper, because when it's on paper, it's out your head. And when it's out your head, you can start looking at it, make sure it's exactly the way you want it. So you know what it is specifically, and you always come back to it again. Then imagine, we're going to imagine the very last step, the step that you know, you've already got it. We're going to feel it. And we're going to feel it with all our senses, which is weird, because you're going to feel it through your sight, your hearing, the sense of smell, taste of success, all of that. And you really get that feeling. Then we're going to anchor it. And anchoring is just getting a finger and thumb. And as you get that feeling, you're going to squeeze it. Do it uniquely. So it's not something you would normally do. And then just do this. Maybe we'll do a little five minute quickie on anchoring, but it's simply that. Just finger and thumb together when you get that feeling. Because the next time when you want to fire it off, you squeeze that finger and thumb together, say the word that comes to mind. You'll have that feeling again. Then you're going to imagine how long it's going to take. And then halfway. And if halfway is too...
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