Anxiety to Confidence - The Personal Development Unplugged Podcast
Anxiety to Confidence - The Personal Development Unplugged podcast. Dealing with all areas of anxiety, low self-esteem, fears to regain your confidence in all areas of your life, and being unique in using Hypnosis and NLP. Awarded one of the top 15 personal development podcasts A podcast for those wanting to let go of what holds them back through personal development but want it made simple and easy to understand and more importantly use, take action and make a difference to your life and the world you live in. If you want to change the way you feel and the way you act and react. If you have negative emotions, behaviors, that you want to lose forever and create something special in your life then I think you will like what you hear. In effect be the Real You Again! This genre of self-improvement, self-development, and mastery of your mind has, I believe, been made over complicated and secretive and here I am de-constructing the processes into their simple forms that we can all understand and easily use. There are no interviews just little ol’ me ;0) Who am I and what do I do?………Paul Clough. I now love helping making changes in people and to guide them to create the life they really want. A personal look at me: The above sentence was not always the case and being the best in the financial realms of the building industry was my aim and getting there by any means. I now know this is, and was, the worst way ~ even if I did make director of one of the largest building companies in Cambridge by the age of 30. One of the major realizations came on my first ever training in hypnosis. I found that it’s not a win-lose world and that a win-win is only a low basis to live. Being true to your beliefs and coming from a place of integrity where service is paramount. This understanding together with lots of NLP skills helped create my last partnership in the building industry grow from a turnover of £800k to £16m in less than twelve years and that can only be done with giving more than expected. Another shaping of me came from two traumatic events in my life that happened within six months of each other which created a number of major changes in me and my beliefs in what is possible. I have written about my experience and how I dealt with it but more importantly it really showed me my love for my three boys and theirs for me and resulted in the step up to become a trainer of NLP (which I never intended) and my close and exciting work with two of my sons. In supporting Joseph and help create change in people in our training’s and his wonderful life changing ‘Be your potential weekend’ and with Luke the continuing development of Cambridge Hypnotherapy and Hypnosis processes. My relationship with my third son Daniel just keeps getting better and better too. Not knowing how good I had become in change work, in the beginning, I generally studied, practiced, and saw clients then things started to happen when I started to work following just my instincts. Two clients come to mind both in effect dying from the effects of what was happening to them and the way they felt and within one and two sessions respectively not only won the will to live they changed virtually in front of my eyes and being apart of that process was and is the best feeling alive. The above are just three of the many brilliant learnings I have had in my life. The more formal bit Paul Clough I am a Trainer and Master Practitioner of NLP and Hypnosis and am passionate about assisting those who want to reach their full potential and his special skills form a unique foundation for success. I constantly seek and develop new skills and learning’s – through advanced levels of Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP), Time Line Therapy ™, Hypnosis and to improve everyone I work with. I have an understanding of the mind/body connection which enables me to create in my clients the difference that makes the difference ~ from excellence to outstanding. For those that want qualifications: Certified Trainer and Consultant of Neuro-Linguistic Programming Certified Master Practitioner of NLP & Time Line Therapy Certified Master Hypnotist and Hypnotherapist Together with Luke and Joseph I have consistently strived and succeeded to create ways to improve people's lives and give new beliefs of what’s possible. Our potential is without limits ~ infinite in every way.
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FMQ A Twist To The Act Of Gratitude
04/20/2024
FMQ A Twist To The Act Of Gratitude
A Twist To The Act of Gratitude I often feel the act of gratitude, writing those 5 things you're grateful for can end up being a little bit by rote, and the feeling just diluted. This got me thinking of how we can vary this to keep things alive. This is not a replacement just a little spicing up and gets you thinking a little deeper about what you are grateful for. Sometimes just breaking the pattern ( a pattern interrupt) can make all the difference. And feeling grateful, truly grateful makes all the difference to our lives and what we attract in them. Please share And there is as usual now a video of this recording here at YouTube Shine brightly Paul Please remember you can leave a comment or email me with questions, requests and feedback. If you have enjoyed this or any other episode please share and subscribe. Just email me If you want to subscribe to the podcast (I know you do) Remember for my specially designed programs for developing Supreme Inner Confidence, Free Your Life of Anxiety and specialize Hypnosis tracks go to If you want to access my FREE HYPNOSIS tracks go to Follow and inter-react on twitter @pcloughie I’m a therapist but not your therapist The information with this website or online work, techniques and exercises provided within these free and paid products are for educational purposes only. Do not use the techniques or exercises contained within some of these free or paid products whilst driving or operating machinery, or if you suffer from epilepsy, clinical depression or any other nervous or psychiatric conditions. The information provided is not a substitute for proper medical advice. If in doubt, please consult your doctor or licensed medical practitioner. Any decision you make having received any of Paul Clough's free or paid products are your own and you remain wholly responsible for any decisions and actions you take. Why not look for me and the podcast on AND the app Castbox I'm also in YouTube - copy n paste UC3BlpN4voq8aAN7ePsIMt2Q into search bar The Libsyn podcast page http://personaldevelomentunplugged.libsyn.com tunein, learnoutloud, Google Play Music Music by from , Music by from , Music by from , >, Music by from , Music by from , Personal development [self improvement] [self development] [NLP] [Hypnosis]
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#387 I'm Scarred and Imperfect PART 2
04/17/2024
#387 I'm Scarred and Imperfect PART 2
I'm Scarred and Imperfect PART 2 We've done the talk now it's the walk In the journey of self-discovery and personal growth, embracing imperfections isn't just about accepting them; it's also about engaging in the profound act of self-healing. When we confront our scars and imperfections head-on, we embark on a journey of healing that can lead to greater self-awareness, resilience, and inner peace. Self-healing begins with acknowledging and accepting our imperfections without judgment or self-criticism. It's about recognizing that our scars, whether physical or emotional, are part of our story but do not define us. Instead of viewing them as flaws to be hidden or fixed, we can see them as opportunities for growth and transformation. One of the most powerful tools in self-healing is self-compassion. Just as we would show kindness and understanding to a friend facing challenges, we can offer the same compassion to ourselves. Self-compassion involves treating ourselves with gentleness, patience, and understanding, especially in times of struggle or pain. Another essential aspect of self-healing is forgiveness. This includes forgiving ourselves for past mistakes, letting go of resentments, and releasing the burdens of guilt or shame. Forgiveness doesn't mean condoning harmful behavior or forgetting the past; rather, it's about freeing ourselves from the emotional weight that holds us back from healing and growth. Self-care is also integral to the process of self-healing. This involves prioritizing our physical, emotional, and spiritual well-being through practices such as exercise, mindfulness, creative expression, and seeking support from loved ones or professionals when needed. By nurturing ourselves holistically, we create the conditions for healing to take place. Finally, self-healing requires courage and vulnerability. It's about facing our fears, confronting painful emotions, and being willing to explore the depths of our inner selves. This journey isn't always easy or linear, but it is incredibly rewarding, leading to greater self-awareness, resilience, and a deeper sense of connection to ourselves and others. In embracing imperfections as opportunities for growth and engaging in the art of self-healing, we empower ourselves to live more authentically, wholeheartedly, and compassionately. As we navigate this journey, may we remember that our scars are not signs of weakness but testaments to our strength and capacity for transformation. And that's where we go now - into the process of self-care and that transformation. Buckle up!!! Shine brightly Paul Please remember you can leave a comment or email me with questions, requests and feedback. If you have enjoyed this or any other episode please share and subscribe. Just email me If you want to subscribe to the podcast (I know you do) Remember for my specially designed programs for developing Supreme Inner Confidence, Free Your Life of Anxiety and specialize Hypnosis tracks go to If you want to access my FREE HYPNOSIS tracks go to Follow and inter-react on twitter @pcloughie I’m a therapist but not your therapist The information with this website or online work, techniques and exercises provided within these free and paid products are for educational purposes only. Do not use the techniques or exercises contained within some of these free or paid products whilst driving or operating machinery, or if you suffer from epilepsy, clinical depression or any other nervous or psychiatric conditions. The information provided is not a substitute for proper medical advice. If in doubt, please consult your doctor or licensed medical practitioner. Any decision you make having received any of Paul Clough's free or paid products are your own and you remain wholly responsible for any decisions and actions you take. Why not look for me and the podcast on AND the app Castbox I'm also in YouTube - copy n paste UC3BlpN4voq8aAN7ePsIMt2Q into search bar The Libsyn podcast page http://personaldevelomentunplugged.libsyn.com tunein, learnoutloud, Google Play Music Music by from , Music by from , Music by from , >, Music by from , Music by from , And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism Let's dive straight in with a recap. So are you going to be open and honest with me, with yourself So here's your heads up to this part two. The part two of I'm, scarred. I've got imperfections, and I'm celebrating them because I'm acknowledging them. Let's dive straight in with a recap. Personal, personal. Developer. Developer. Plugged. plugged, plugged, plugged. So you're back for more. Back for more. So are you going to be open and honest with me, with yourself? Are you going to notice? Because let's recap. This is part two. Let's just very quickly recap. We know that all. We're all a little bit broken, we're all a little bit damaged. We've all got a little ism now and again. We've got a little bit of fear. We'Ve got a little bit of anxiety. We'Ve got a little bit of I'm. Not good enough in different contexts. And we want to bring those out, out into the light and put a spotlight on them and understand how we can learn from them. So you can remember what we talked about, because only a couple of days ago, you might even be putting one and two together. I don't know. But now let's go through the process of what we're going to do with when we acknowledge these imperfections, these little scars. And if for some of you, they are pretty big, just remember, one to one therapy is absolutely awesome, but you'll have done the work. Listen to this. You'll have done a lot of the work for yourself and the therapist, because you'll know the one thing, the one thing that, when changed, will make the difference. That's where we're going, by the way. That's where we're going. Little heads up. So, are we going to be good? So, really set your intention now I'm going to find the one thing that when I change it, it's going to affect my life immeasurably in a wonderful way. So, having said that now, and we're all in the same little groove, let's go. Let's go and have the second part of I'm scarred, I'm imperfect. Okay, let's go. What are your qualities? What are the things that you do well So. So now what you've made that mind map of some people might call it my faults, my imperfections, my acknowledgement, my mind map of my imperfections. And you will, notice then you're recognizing that you've lived a life, because someone who hasn't lived a life doesn't have qualities or have imperfections. They are a straight liner. So I want you to flip it because you have lived a life, and you've lived a life, and you've experienced other things in your life, the good things, the positive things, and you've learned a bloody lot. You wouldn't be here if you hadn't learned and want more. So what are your qualities? What are the things that you do well? You enjoy? Now? Simple mind map, my qualities. Now, I don't know what number it is. I'll see if I can find it. Before the end, but I did a longer podcast on my qualities and how it came about, because it came about when I was really broken, really, really, really broken, and I had to bring it out just to find out whether, you know, find something in my life that had a quality. One thing I think that was, I can breathe. That's how bad it was, you know? Okay, well done, cluffy. You can breathe. So you're here, at least you're still above ground. But that, that's how it came about. But this is now to bring to light the things that you do well, the things that you enjoy. And you've only got to have done. It once, because if you've done something well once, that means you could do it well again. And there are things like, have you ever helped anybody? Have you ever, you know, been selfless. Service, didn't want anything in reply, but. You just helped somebody. Maybe you've just made someone smile and. Just took away the. The edge. Maybe things you've learned, you know, like me, I've learned hypnosis, and then I've learned deeper into all the different processes that I can use. And some I've just, you know, made them my own in some way. And that, to me, was my quality. Now, I know that you have done similar things with the things that you enjoy. You know, maybe it's some type of sport and you don't have to excel. In it, really, you know, to a top level professional. No, I did that well. I enjoyed it. I did it with a good intention, and I, you know, I got where. Got to a level, which I'm happy with. I know I can get better. but this is a quality in me. Maybe you just maybe like looking after animals, being with your best friend, telling jokes, making people laugh, telling stories, just being there. So many different things that you can put out or put out onto that piece of paper. And if you want, you also have a hypnosis track for it to use with that mind map of my qualities. And all you have to do where you know where to go. It's paulclufonline.com podcast. And you'll get that email and you get your personal link and you go there and you scroll down and you go, oh, there it is, my qualities. I'll have a little listen to that. And it's hypnosis. so it goes in the conscious and unconscious level. Whoa. Because a lot of this is conscious, but your unconscious mind is always listening. Remember Deepak Trop, I can't say his name, Deepak Chopra wrote in one of his books, your unconscious mind is always listening in on your conversations. And your conversations can be verbal. That, internal voice of yours could. Be what you're thinking, the pitches you. Make in your mind. Well, when you start looking at your. Qualities, you're going to feel good, and your unconscious mind is listening, watching. Now, what I want you to do is look at both mind maps Now, what I want you to do is look at both, both of those mind maps now. And, as you look at your qualities, you know, you've got the, the ability to learn and do things. You've got a load of skills there. We would call it in the hypnosis. World or hypnotherapy world, as resources. You've got a load of resources there to help you change. And then with that, if you look at them all and go, how good. Do I feel about looking at all my qualities? Get that inner feeling, that emotion, and then look at that page of your imperfections and just notice, if I could only change one of those, just one, which one would make the most difference to my qualities? Which one would make those qualities shine even more? Because it will. One of them will just jump out. You go round that circle. You go, ah, that's it. That's the one I'm going to work on. I'm not going to do the rest. Not yet. Because, you see, when you change one, those other buggers change and they don't feel as bad or they disappear completely. That's the beauty of doing it this way. You don't do a scattergun approach, pray and spray, or spray and pray, whichever way that goes. You just look at it and let your unconscious mind and your conscious mind come together and go, if I could. Only change one of those. Which one of those imperfections, those isms, if I got a handle on it, if I changed it, what one would make the most difference to my qualities? And when you look at that, you're going to take, okay, that's the one. Now, we can, get it on another page, maybe. What small steps can I start to use? Where do you find those bloody steps? Well, first of all, you have to schedule it down. We've talked about this so many times. Schedule a better time down for yourself. Because no other bugger is going to work on yourself for you. You've got a wonderful, powerful brain. You got a wonderful, most superpower of an unconscious mind with all those resources. So if you put down half an. Hour a week, wow, bugger me, half an hour cloughy, I can spare longer than that. Yeah, but you don't. I didn't, but I do now. I'm going to schedule in. I got a gap. There's my half hour. Oh, I can do it again on Thursday. See, here we go. Now, what do you do in those small steps? Maybe you go through that list of hypnosis tracks and go, actually, this one really helps deal with this imperfection in air quotes. So, maybe you have a listen to that because in that hypnosis and. You go to the associated longer podcast because they're obviously linked, it will give you the skills, some processes, some thoughts, how to use this imperfection, to learn from it, even if you just, not even as you do that, as you can reflect in that time to reframe it. What is the positive intention? What is it trying to do for me. Cluffy says working on loneliness has helped him become more creative A little bit about that loneliness. I was talking about. See, I got when I was looking to find my new why. I don't know why I called it a new why, because I've obviously got a why. Part of it is doing this. Obviously, I say obviously. It's obvious to me that I'm trying to share what I've learned with as. Many people as I can. Because if I can just help you, that's me done. Done a good job. But when I look back through my. Life, all the things where I felt was my passion, my why, I did most of them by myself. And then I looked at that and. Said, well, that's when you focus, Cluffy. That's when you really get deep. That's when you start to get to. Do the stuff that is creative. So I said to myself, that is a superpower. When I want to do stuff which. Is good, creative, selfless service, I'm going to do it because no one else can. I want to use my best friend so I'm not alone anymore because I've got a best friend inside. And then I remembered what I write. In my journal, every journal for I don't know how many years a front page says, you're never alone, you never by yourself. You're always with yourself. You're with your best friend. So you can't be bloody alone. Cluffy, you dick. And I go, ah, that's right. So this loneliness is two things. It's allowing me to become creative because that's when I function my best. But also I realize I need connection so I can work on that connection in a different context. So when I see my friends, I make an effort now to find connection with my, with me mates. Go and have a beer now, and we just sit and just talk about football or anything. A sucker. And it's just being social. But when I want to do the. Stuff I want to do, I'm happy. Now that I'm not completely weird by doing things on my own. But as the things we've said before, you are uniquely weird. So am I. So now, having worked on that loneliness. Thinking, okay, I'm okay with it. I'm no longer sad because I got. Really sad when I told you about that day, a couple of days, I was really quite inside. I didn't show it too well because. Again, you're hiding this bloody stuff. I wasn't showing it up until I. Sat down, scheduled some time, did a little bit of self hypnosis and found out the positive intention. And, I'm happy with that now, because now I know I can be this and that, not this or it's. And so which one will you do now? I know you don't know at the. Moment because you probably haven't been scribbling out the mind maps as you do, but I do suggest if you do that, you will find something that, that you go, ah, that's the one. Because when you think about all the things, all the isms, all the things. It'S overwhelming when you find that one thing. What if I just change that a little bit? That'll flip. That will make a big difference. And when you do it and you work on it, and then you look. Back and you review, because we always schedule do. And then review, you look back and go, actually, that feeling's gone. Oh, for me, as I say, you. Know, that feeling is when, I'm happy to be creative in different ways and I'm also doing different things in different contexts now, things I wasn't doing. Weren'T doing, wasn't doing. And it's made such a difference. So changing one thing has now changed. So many different things. But I found the one thing, the one thing that would make a difference. And you can't get it wrong because it will jump out at you. And also, once you look back and. You may go, well, maybe once I've. Done that, if there was one other thing that's still there, if it's still there, which other thing would I change? Because it's going to be a moving target, as it were. You might go, well, I can actually help. I can schedule the time It's a different map of the world. Now, we all live with our own maps of the world, but our map of the world is not the territory. It's not reality. It's our reality. So let's change it. Let's acknowledge it. Shine a light on these buggers. Learn and, change. Now you might go, and this is where I want to come in. This is where I want to help. You might go, well, I can actually. See this thing about, you know, I've got the same as you cluffy or, you know, I've got this anxiety here. Or do that or whatever, and I. Don'T know what to do. I don't know what. I can schedule the time. Yeah, I can do that, but I don't know what steps to take. I don't know really which hypnosis track. So what do you do with that? Let me know. Let, me know by email me. I can't. My words this morning. Email me at feedbackersonaldevelopmentunplugged. Um.com. Do mind maps to help you change imperfections in your life Which area, which con, you know, which area in your life would you like to change or what type of imperfection and, what context? That's all I need, maybe. How would you like to be? They're the three. What would you like to change? How has it affected you? May be and how would you like to be? And then we'll do something. You'll get a personal reply from me. I can't say it's obvious, but. You will, because that's what I do. But you'll see then, as we've done before, we have, I've had questions and a longer podcast comes from it, and it not only helps that person who's asked a question, but it helps so many others because you can adapt the answers. That's nearly, ah, that gives me. The thing I can start working on. And once you get the flow going. Your unconscious mind goes, care, come on. Let'S do it now. Now you want to learn. I don't need to keep hitting you. With this bloody, anxiety, this fear now because you want to learn about it. And now we can move on because you've shown me the direction you want to go. You've shown me how you want to feel, because sometimes even just visualizing what you want to feel is enough. And, then m we can really be celebrating how open and honest we are. We can celebrate these little imperfections. In a way that means we're celebrating. Because we're celebrating. We're going to change, going to make a big difference. You see, you can try to hide it. This is my meta part of this. You could try to hide this, push it down. Apparently, there's a thing that blokes do. They push it down, keep it away. What happens keeps bubbling up, gets more intense because it's wrong. It's there for a reason. And as you let it come into the spotlight, then you can start learning. Because, you know, at the end of the day, this life is not what they call a bed of roses. There are great times when it is....
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#386 I'm Scarred and Imperfect
04/13/2024
#386 I'm Scarred and Imperfect
I'm Scarred and Imperfect Part 1 Let's celebrate just how we are and then learn how to we can change to be who we wish to be and have what we wish to have. We do need to acknowledge where we are in this striving to be the best version of ourselves so we can build on it, start and continue to build from a firm and stable foundation. To me - We're all a ikkle bit broken or a little bit damaged, we've all got a few 'isms' and we carry a little bit of baggage and that's great! Because when we do truthfully acknowledge this to ourselves we can begin to make meaningful changes, which I guess is why you listen hear. When we try to deny that imposter syndrome ism, guilt ism, anxiety ism and every other emotional ism you can think of we will continue the internal conflict and waste that valuable energy we have. Let's use it to create a life we can be proud of. As usual I'll share some personal stories and insights. In this episode we'll lay all the ground work for the changes you want to make ready for part 2. I won't keep you hanging for part 2 so get your skates on and DO THE WORK, which isn't hard but you have to do it if you want the results - and I know you do :O) Please share the episode so others may learn too Personal development [self improvement] [self development] [NLP] [Hypnosis] Shine brightly Paul Please remember you can leave a comment or email me with questions, requests and feedback. If you have enjoyed this or any other episode please share and subscribe. Just email me If you want to subscribe to the podcast (I know you do) Remember for my specially designed programs for developing Supreme Inner Confidence, Free Your Life of Anxiety and specialize Hypnosis tracks go to If you want to access my FREE HYPNOSIS tracks go to Follow and inter-react on twitter @pcloughie I’m a therapist but not your therapist The information with this website or online work, techniques and exercises provided within these free and paid products are for educational purposes only. Do not use the techniques or exercises contained within some of these free or paid products whilst driving or operating machinery, or if you suffer from epilepsy, clinical depression or any other nervous or psychiatric conditions. The information provided is not a substitute for proper medical advice. If in doubt, please consult your doctor or licensed medical practitioner. Any decision you make having received any of Paul Clough's free or paid products are your own and you remain wholly responsible for any decisions and actions you take. Why not look for me and the podcast on AND the app Castbox I'm also in YouTube - copy n paste UC3BlpN4voq8aAN7ePsIMt2Q into search bar The Libsyn podcast page http://personaldevelomentunplugged.libsyn.com tunein, learnoutloud, Google Play Music Music by from , Music by from , Music by from , >, Music by from , Music by from , And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism Heads up to the longer podcast. It'll come on in the next few days So here's your heads up. Heads up to the longer podcast. I'm scarred. I'm imperfect. Yay. I say, yay. Yay. Yeah. I'm celebrating. I'm celebrating and acknowledging that we're all a little bit broken, we're all a little bit damaged, we're all a little bit ism'd. And that's great because that means when we acknowledge it, we are going to change our world in such a wonderful way. And if you'd like to do that, have a listen after the little 15 2nd intro. So, just to let you know, before we get into the whole of this podcast, when I recorded it, it just went on in a good way. And I felt there's a time when we should split it up in the middle so we can let things just integrate the thoughts, get together, and then hit the second half where we really get deep into the process of being able to look at these imperfections, these scars, and, make a difference to our lives. So look out for that. I'm not going to leave you hanging and have you hanging days and days and weeks and weeks. It'll come on in the next, I think the next three or four days. Okay, so listen to this first half, get into it, and then following few days will come that second half. But I think that'll give you time to really, I don't know, get your mind processing what we can do. We're back with a longer podcast. I'm scared. He's not scared Okay, here we go. Boom. And we're back with a longer podcast. I'm scared. He's not scared. I'm scared. I'm imperfect. That was a title. You have to be honest about what you're thinking about, m And, I have a question for you. I've got a question. Are you open? Open to what? Cloughie open. To be honest. maybe you might think. Honest about what? Well, let me tell you, m, I'll go through a few things. Have you seen that t shirt? The t shirt is advertised on a lot of social media. And it says, I'm broken with the okay in the middle is brighter, so you see it looks like I'm okay. But then you read it a little bit closer and it says, I'm broken. With that funny smiley face with a bandage or two and a cut and things like that, and a little plaster. I love it. I bought one. I thought about it for such a long time because I just loved that. Just love the emoji of it all. I'm broken. And let's admit it, we're all a bit, aren't we? We're all a bit broken. Somewhere. Some people maybe think they're broken more than others, but we've all got a little bit inside us, I think. Just, a little bit broken. Here's another one for you. Hear it. Hear it being talked about. Other people saying they're damaged. But I'm damaged. Yeah, that could be you speaking, couldn't it? And I hear you. I'm damaged. You are damaged. So am I. And so is every other bugger. Everyone. He's just a little bit damaged. I don't care what they say. I, know they're damaged. Yeah, we do. We are. We're a little bit broken. We're a little bit damaged. Everyone's got a bloody ism. They have. I've got an ism. Perfectionism. Knowing I can never be perfect. I mean, that's a real conflict in itself. And it comes from. Yeah, I'm not good enough. And, we've all got one of those, haven't, we. We've all got that. We've all got the other isms. Depression. Depression. Ism. Fear of missing out ism. I'm an imposter ism. We've all got those. We've all got them in bits, you know, we got little bits of it. Different criteria. Not different criteria, different context. I, may be as confident as anybody in the world in one context, and I could be a scared little mouse. Maybe in another context, maybe not quite. Scared. But we all think we're an impostor somewhere along the line, in a context or other. But you have to be honest. You have to be open to be honest. Somewhere we have these things going on, maybe not, you know, so they're massive, massive, massive. But if you go through your life and the things you've done maybe yesterday or the week, in the week, and just notice when you just felt a little bit m. that wasn't good. Oh, I felt a bit scared. Felt a little bit broken. Maybe I thought I was missing out. Maybe I thought, buck and me, they'll find me out here. You know. Shall I go on? Shall I go on? Yes, I will go on. I will. I want to get personal. Not with you. Not with you, of course. Well, I will. But this is about me, you see. I'm an introvert. Now, is that broken? Maybe. M maybe sometimes when it'll be better to be not extrovert, but be open and connected as opposed to sitting in the corner or it feels like I'm sitting in the corner, even when I'm, in a room with people, sometimes I think, I think too much. They are thinking about thinking too much, and it bogs me down. I wonder why I do that. We don't ask why here. I wonder, what could I learn from that? But on the other hand, I know sometimes I don't think enough. Do you ever get lonely? Do you ever feel isolated So again, we've got another dichotomy, we've got another conflict. I get lonely. Do you? Do you ever get lonely? And I don't necessarily mean, like, the big pandemic of loneliness that we're experiencing in the world now, but there are times when I just feel quite lonely now, whether that's because I'm an only child. And when you're an only child, what do you do? You think a lot. You talk to yourself. There's no other bugger around to talk to, to play with. And, maybe sometimes that's good, but other times feel I might be missing out, you know, from siblings, people who maybe protect you, maybe push you up, support you, maybe they knock you down. I don't know. We're all a little bit like that, are we? Or is that just me? Does any of this resonate with you? What else? What about you? I've been open. I've been honest. I mean, I get angry too much. I'm working on that, and it's gone down a lot, at least I think it has. So all these things I'm working at, and working on with myself, some of them aren't m quite. They're not very comfortable. But I do know each one of those is just a little bit broken. He's just a little bit damaged. He's a little bit, you know, an ism of some kind. But I know they're all trying, you know, each one is trying to do something for me. It just doesn't feel that way sometimes, does it? You know, if you're feeling a little bit scared, not scarred this time, but scared, a bit fearful, bit anxious. So. Can you say, you know, you don't go through the week and you're not a little bit anxious, if you don't, that's awesome. You crack that code. But is there something else? Maybe a little bit, you know, when you're going to work or when, you know, how many of us have that conversation, which we know, we know it's the conversation to have, and we bottle it. I don't know if that's just a UK term, but we bottle it. We not bottle it up. we just bottle it by getting scared. We can't go through with it. And then we think too much. And. Then we get angry, maybe. And you have thoughts about other people, you know, what do they do? What am I doing? You know? So it's like being an imposter in your own life sometimes, but not massive. hopefully you can see when I talk to you, you know, reasonably sane, can hold a bit of a conversation, communicate, connect. I can learn stuff. I, share stuff. But there's these little things in the background just inside. And they're going to stay there unless you're open to be honest about them. You have to bring them out in the open. Bring them out into the light. Sometimes just bringing these things up into the light, into the light of your open mind is enough to look at it and go, well, I don't know where that came from, but that's not me. Oh, I remember where that came from. Yeah, I can understand how I felt that way, but not anymore. So now I've got to change. I can change. This is a lovely little reframe. But how can you bring them all out into the open? Because I don't want it to be super depressive. Because I've come out with my bits and I'm happy with that. Not happy that I've got them, but I'm happy that, you know, there are things I can work on. So how do you bring them out in the open? Or maybe you can do a Cloughie mind map. And my sort of mind maps are just with a circle, and lots of lines coming off. I don't necessarily do lots of lines off lines, but just little headings off each one. So a mind map, my imperfections, because none of us are perfect, are they? Are we? So it'd be nice just to bring out into the light, into delight my imperfections. And there'll be a flip side to this, I promise. There is. There is a flip side. If I want to start anywhere, I always start on the down because I love to finish on a high. So stay with me. Stay with me. But yes, you'd have to get a piece of paper, a book, your puzzle book, your idea book, whatever it is, a piece of paper. Don't do it in your head, because if you do it in your head, you'll never be able to come back to it. And it's not bringing it into the. Into the light, is it? See, I've written these down. And, I'm going to do something with them. Well, I'm doing something with them anyway. But I'll explain what I'm doing. So write down a little. Draw a little line away from that big circle in the middle of that paper which says my imperfections, and just write them down. You know, sometimes I think too much. Sometimes I get a little scared and just say the context. Sometimes I get a little anxious about. Sometimes I, this imposter at work. That's what I feel. Maybe feel imposter with your, with your friends. Which is crazy, because I just said in the sentence, you're friends. But it isn't crazy, is it? Because that's what we feel, and it's just an emotion. And emotions are there to, teach us something until we've learned it, and then they'll disappear. So that's where we're going. Cloughie says sometimes the lonely and the sad go together So just write them down and just notice. And we're not going to criticize ourselves. We're not going to we're certainly not going to edit them as you think of them. You I'll say that a bit more clearly as you think of them. Just write them down. So, you know, I do get lonely. I'm not lonely 100%, but I do get lonely occasionally. I do get sad occasionally. Sometimes the lonely and the sad go together. And I can actually sometimes link those together. I had a pretty deep experience of that, which is quite weird. I was looking for something really positive, and I came out with loneliness. And That affected me for a day. Not grossly. I could have worn my I'm broken t shirt for a day. But then, I got into it. But I'll tell you how I did that. You see, you have lived, haven't you? You've lived a life. You have life experiences. You've had experiences. Some of them will be absolutely brilliant and give you the confidence to carry on and do other stuff. They will affect other areas of your life. The ripples of that confidence will affect more than one context. But just like that, by having experiences and lived a life, we'll have had a few experiences that have scarred us, created these little. We could call them imperfections. And I only call them that is because I'd like to change them then. And they're never going to be perfect, but they're, just little imperfections. And you see, by bringing them into light, weirdly, I want to celebrate them. I want to celebrate being able to be honest with myself, celebrate being totally authentic with myself. I nearly swore then so did the rest. I'm not thinking about other people, about being authentic to everyone out there. Because you can't be authentic, really authentic, until you're authentic with yourself, until you're open and honest with yourself, because that's a safe place to be. You can have a little chat with yourself and go, okay, got to work on this. You talked yourself with your best friend as your best friend. Okay, Cloughie. So what are you going to do about this loneliness? Well, I changed that, you see, into a, into a superpower. I worked on that and, I'll tell you how that came about. Maybe, maybe, maybe this episode, maybe another episode, see how we get on. But I want to bring them out and celebrate. Celebrate that, this is me. Because, you see, I've already done a mind map of my qualities ages ago. And you see, when we're celebrating, we're simply acknowledging, acknowledging our imperfections, the things we would like to change. Bringing them out into the open to the light of day, as I say, as I said before, because when you acknowledge them, don't accept them. I have this thing about acceptance. If you accept them, you're accepting. In my mind, you're accepting it as it's being okay. It's okay to be, and it is, by the way. But I'd rather just acknowledge, acknowledge this emotion, those emotions. Because we acknowledge good emotions or say positive emotions and the ones we feel that are negative or give us a negative emotion, we just, yeah, we could just acknowledge them and it takes away their power. As soon as I wrote these things down, they were out. They're not bubbling inside. I'm not trying to push them down. I'm not trying to fight them. Because when you fight them, they just get stronger because they're trying to do something for you. And you're going, no, I don't want to learn. And they're going, well, you're going to have this emotion double then, until you get it Cloughie. But as soon as you bring them out, whoa, you get to own it. And just by owning it, I'll say that again properly, just by owning it, you get a little bit more inner confidence. Not like the pain in the ass people who are so ego led and overconfident. You see, the reason people are that confident is because they're not. They're trying to hide it from you and themselves. I know they have anxieties, they have fears, they have all those isms, and they're overcompensating. We've all seen those people. They are a pain in the ass, but we've all seen them. And if you could get them one to one and to be honest with themselves, they would admit to it, but they try to hide it. And the more you hide it, the more you push it down, the more it just fights back, as it were. So that's why I say, when we acknowledge these imperfections in air quotes, we really are, being truly authentic. You see, that's when you can really start working on yourself or working with yourself. See, we sort of celebrate, but, I don't want to celebrate them. And going, yeah, I'm so pleased that I'm a lonely old person who just thinks too much and. No, no, no, no. Because that's just being a bit of a dick. And that's what I call myself, by the way. Not you. I have this thing Cloughie. Sometimes you're a dick cloughy. Get back. Get back into the world and look at it for what it is. Because that's how I compliment myself. Cloughie, you're a dick. But I've made a little note of this. A well intentioned dick. Oh, dear, dear, dear, dear. We think we should be perfect, but being perfect never happens Anyway, you see, we do think, I think, we think anyway, that we should be perfect. We have to be perfect. Certainly, if you've got I'm, and I'm not good enough. Below the surface, there's another belief. But the behaviors we have and the thoughts we have is, well, if I'm really perfect, no one's going to pick me up. No one can find my fault. And that's never going to happen. Never ever going to happen. Because you're never going to be perfect. That's why I sell, I say sometimes celebrate our imperfections, because you might as well, because, now they're out, you can celebrate the fact that they're out into the open, because being perfect is never going to happen. And so on. I've split this up into two parts so you don't get tired that note, this is where we're going to stop, part one. And all I want you to do is just sit with that mind map. Don't do anything with it. Don't have to think about it for the moment, because it's a tool that we're going to use in part two. So just get it out on paper. And then in just a couple of days time, the next one will be out, part two. And we're really going to make the difference. The difference that makes a difference, where the ripples of change will go further and wider than you could ever believe. And guess what? It's really simple. Because in simple there's genius, or in simplicity there's genius. And I really want you to get the best of it, which is why I've split this up in two now, so you don't get tired. You can concentrate on one, and then you can really focus on the second part where the change happens. So do have fun, take a breath, relax, do the work, and then we'll be ready. I'm giving you time to make this change so wonderful. There you go. So I'll see you. I'll be with you in the next couple of days or in the next. Well, put it, part two. It's not...
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FMQ 439 Be Careful Of What You Practice
04/10/2024
FMQ 439 Be Careful Of What You Practice
Be Careful What You Practice You might forget what you are practicing and find the results not to your liking. This little 5-minute FMQ muse was inspired by listening to Denzil Washington correcting a reporter if he practices telling untruths that's what you will end up doing as a habit. You see, we often get confused thinking practice makes perfect and it certainly doesn't. Also, we have to practice consciously - which we don't. All the more reason to be careful if you want the results you dream of and I know you do because you wouldn't be here. Let's go make this clear by pressing play and then sharing to help others practice what they desire There's a video of me for the FMQ here at YouTube Shine brightly Paul Please remember you can leave a comment or email me with questions, requests and feedback. If you have enjoyed this or any other episode please share and subscribe. Just email me If you want to subscribe to the podcast (I know you do) Remember for my specially designed programs for developing Supreme Inner Confidence, Free Your Life of Anxiety and specialize Hypnosis tracks go to If you want to access my FREE HYPNOSIS tracks go to Follow and inter-react on twitter @pcloughie I’m a therapist but not your therapist The information with this website or online work, techniques and exercises provided within these free and paid products are for educational purposes only. Do not use the techniques or exercises contained within some of these free or paid products whilst driving or operating machinery, or if you suffer from epilepsy, clinical depression or any other nervous or psychiatric conditions. The information provided is not a substitute for proper medical advice. If in doubt, please consult your doctor or licensed medical practitioner. Any decision you make having received any of Paul Clough's free or paid products are your own and you remain wholly responsible for any decisions and actions you take. Why not look for me and the podcast on AND the app Castbox I'm also in YouTube - copy n paste UC3BlpN4voq8aAN7ePsIMt2Q into search bar The Libsyn podcast page http://personaldevelomentunplugged.libsyn.com tunein, learnoutloud, Google Play Music Music by from , Music by from , Music by from , >, Music by from , Music by from , Personal development [self improvement] [self development] [NLP] [Hypnosis]
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#385 But I Don't Know Where To Start
04/06/2024
#385 But I Don't Know Where To Start
But I Don't Know Where To Start We've all cried this at one time or another - Or is it just me? And every reason I give seems so valid. The harsh truth is every reason you give is an excuse or a whiney reason to get us out of doing the thing and in a lot of cases the thing could be just the thing you need to do to make your life GREAT. So let's go make a difference and find out what stops you and what will make you start. I'll share a couple of personal stories and even a way when you really don't know what step to take so there will never be an excuse or reason ever. I hope this episode makes a real difference to your success, which is why I do this, and in that spirit please share this episode and the whole Personal Development Unplugged podcast: Shine brightly Paul Please remember you can leave a comment or email me with questions, requests and feedback. If you have enjoyed this or any other episode please share and subscribe. Just email me If you want to subscribe to the podcast (I know you do) Remember for my specially designed programs for developing Supreme Inner Confidence, Free Your Life of Anxiety and specialize Hypnosis tracks go to If you want to access my FREE HYPNOSIS tracks go to Follow and inter-react on twitter @pcloughie I’m a therapist but not your therapist The information with this website or online work, techniques and exercises provided within these free and paid products are for educational purposes only. Do not use the techniques or exercises contained within some of these free or paid products whilst driving or operating machinery, or if you suffer from epilepsy, clinical depression or any other nervous or psychiatric conditions. The information provided is not a substitute for proper medical advice. If in doubt, please consult your doctor or licensed medical practitioner. Any decision you make having received any of Paul Clough's free or paid products are your own and you remain wholly responsible for any decisions and actions you take. Why not look for me and the podcast on AND the app Castbox I'm also in YouTube - copy n paste UC3BlpN4voq8aAN7ePsIMt2Q into search bar The Libsyn podcast page http://personaldevelomentunplugged.libsyn.com tunein, learnoutloud, Google Play Music Music by from , Music by from , Music by from , >, Music by from , Music by from , And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism How to find the first step of anything you want to do Hey, your heads up to I don't know where to start and you don't. And, maybe you do, but I bet you give all the blooming reasons and excuses why you can't. And this is the antidote to that. How to find that first step, the middle step, the last step of anything you want to do, because it'll be so important to you, so compelling, you'll be motivated the hell to do it. Okay, have a listen after this. Paul Clough: Reasons why you can't do anything are simply excuses Hey, friend. The longer podcast. And I, hear this from so many people, I even hear it from myself sometimes. And it's that thing, I don't know where to start. I know what I want to do. Ish, but I can't start because I. Don'T know where to start. And even that, that is thought to. Be a valid reason. I don't know where to start. So that's a valid reason. No, it's a bloody excuse because reasons why you can't do anything are, simply excuses. It's a bit harsh, clothy. Yeah, but they are. There's always something to blame, as it were. There's always somebody blame so that more. Clearly somebody to blame. Oh, I can't do that because they need my time. Well, I've got to do this. I've got to do that for them first. I've got to look after them first. I can't do it myself. Oh, the weather's in the way. Oh, the economy's in the way. Oh, there's every bloody excuse under the. Sun in the way. So what was a valid reason? Isn't. There is no such thing as a valid reason for. I don't know where to start. But the thing is, we also say. Why? Why me? It seems so right to ask, why me? Why can't I find this thing? Why has it always happened to me that I can't do this thing I want to do? Why are these people always in the way? Why are these things, I've got different responsibilities. Why have I got these excuses, basically. And the thing is, asking that why. Question like that, why me? Why is it always happening? Will give you a brilliant answer. It'd be false, by the way, but. It'D be a brilliant answer because it'll be one of your limiting beliefs. Well, because I've got to do this or I can't do that. It's all bullshit. I remember years and years and years and years ago on my, I think it was the second week of my hypnotherapy training and we were learning something called the meta model, which I later found out was, even goes into even more detail when I did my NLP work, the meta model. And it's really a way of getting specific about an issue. So to clear away those excuses, those reasons, and find out what's below the surface. And the thing is, if we were. To ask why in, because what would. Happen is we would go away to do an exercise and talk to somebody. And in that talking we would look to go beneath the surface of whatever they said. And sometimes it got so interesting, you just go, oh, why did you do that? Boom. you were fined. You were fined at that time, 20 p. It wasn't a lot of money, but it was 20 p. But it stuck. It was like an anchor, it was like a pattern interrupt. It suddenly stopped you because you would. Then go, oh. It's because I think this a belief. Whereas a meta model to go beneath the surface would ask questions like, well, how do you want to be? How would you like to feel? What resources do you have? Who do you know? Where would you like to be in so much time? How long do you want to be doing this? How much time have you got? What are the real restrictions to that time? What do you know? What don't you know? Do you know? Somebody who knows this has done it before. Now they're real good questions because you start to go below the surface to find out information, to find out the facts. You want to try it, keep asking yourself those questions as you write the answer. Yeah, write the answers down, but just. Put how, what, who, where? And cross out a big capital w h y. Because we don't know why, not yet. That's going to come in a short while. You see, I think this is so important, so important because it removes the excuses. And those excuses stop us taking action and they'll probably put thoughts in your head to stop it, to stop taking that action. Even questions like how do you know you can't do it make you think And we want positive thoughts from these questions. How, what, who, where. Even questions like how do you know you can't do it? Now that makes you think, doesn't it? Well, how do I really know? It makes you go to the data, makes you go to the real facts. Makes you become honest with yourself. And you certainly know if you're dishonest with yourself or if you tell yourself a little fib, you say, oh, well, how do I know it's because, oh, no, no, no, I'm telling a fiber. That's another excuse. That's another reason. Cloughy told me about that. Here's my 20 p. And in fact, you're fine. You're fine today. Just thought about this. If you ask yourself the question why? Or you answer a question why you have to share this podcast to two people. There you go. Not 20, not 20 p for 20 people. But that's a UK money, by the way, sterling. But you have to pass this information forward. Share it forward. There you go. Pay it forward. Literally, pay it forward. And you see, what happens sometimes is we all fall for this. We all fall for making excuses, making reasons which we think and feel so. Valid at the time. I mean, I've fallen for this so many times, too. And then I catch myself because I, I find it's a little bit, maybe a self pity moment. Oh, poor me, poor me. I can't do it because of this, this and this. Poor, poor Cluffy. And then I have to kick myself up the ass and go, what are you doing? You know better than this. Let's look at it again. Where do you want to go? Where are you now? What do you know? what do you know about the subject now? What do you need to know to get where you want to go? What would you need to do? And we're going to come to that. Who do you know, Cluffy? Who do you know has done it before? What are your resources you could find? What time have I got available? Real time. And, as soon as I get into that mode, that self pity, poor clothy mode disappears. Really does. You're going to try it. It really does. And the thing is, the wonderful reframe. Of this is if you go. So I don't know where to go. I don't know where to start. Or if I was to ask you. Okay, so you don't know where to start. The answer to that is, good. Good. That's a jocko willink. Good. Because you get to do it one, for yourself to find out this, that is really empowering because it's bringing you back to. Cause you're going to create the effect, you're going to create the steps along the way. You're going to get this result, this success, and it's going to build confidence. Competence, everything, because you're starting new. It's like a beginner's mindset starting anew, but beginner's mindset with a lot of resources in your little toolbox in your. Back, backpack, something like that. But anyway, does anybody carry a toolbox on their back? Who knows? But it's clean. And you see, once you get this in your head, this is me, this is good. I get to do this. And I don't know the first step yet, and that's a big thing. Yet. Ask yourself why is this particular thing I want to do Why e yet there's a why there? Because that's when we start to ask about the why. But it's not, why can't I? It's why is this important to me? And again, you have to get your paper and pen, your puzzle book, anything you like, because as you ask this, they're great to put them on sticky. Pads as well, but just write them down. Just ask yourself, why is this particular thing I want to do? And I don't know the steps for. Why is it important to be able to do that? Why is it important to me, not to other people, by you. Because you say, oh, it make a difference to the company, it will make a difference to my family. No, why will it make. Why is it important to you? Because at the end of the day, if it's not important to you, you're. Not going to do it. So you need to ensure that it's compelling. You're curious, you're excited, because if it doesn't make you. And you don't have to be super excited, super compelling. But, it has to be important. To you because maybe at the moment you think, well, I'm not really a hundred percent sure why it's important to me, but these are the things I'm. Getting right now, you know, what will. It allow me to do? What will that important thing allow me to do? And you see, if it isn't compelling to you, if it isn't important, my advice to you is, don't do it. What? Don't do it? Yeah, don't do it. Don't waste your time, because probably, if it's not important to you, you'll take a few steps, you'll waste some time. Doing it, and then you'll shelve it. With the wonderful reasons, excuses why you did it. And it wasn't your fault. Well, it was your not a fault, but you chose, you chose to do something that wasn't of interest to you, wasn't important to you, wasn't compelling. Now, what would you say to your. Best friend if they were saying, I. Want to do this, and it's not really of interest to me. I don't think it's going to do me that good. It's not really important. You would tell them, oh, sh, don't do it. What else do you want? So then you'd ask yourself the question, so what's more important to me? What else is even more important? And then you get to start that one anew. Isn't that awesome? And again, rather, don't just do the. One, why it's important to me. Why is this important to me? Do three, four, five. Because the first one comes out generally, it's the one that you've been thinking about forever. And it's the, one probably you hadn't really thought about, but it's the thing you think it ought to be. But as you keep asking that question, why? Why else? Why else is this important to me? You'll get another reason. Not another reason. You'll get another result of the importance or the value. That's it. This is the value. You'll understand the value, because anything of importance to you is one of your values. It'll be valuable to you. And anything that you value, then. You'Re going to take steps to get. It, to achieve it. And it's when you get to about the third or the fourth or the fifth, you suddenly start realizing these are, unconscious answers. Say that again. Unconscious answers. Answers coming from your unconscious mind that was just out of reach from your conscious mind. But now you've opened it up because you've taken out the ones which are just there in your conscious mind. And in the way now you can get unconscious answers. And when you look at them and. Go, hey, I didn't realize that. Now that is important to me and that will allow me to do this and even that will attract that and this will do that and I'll grow and I'll do. And all of a sudden you are. Motivated and generally you're motivated to take the biggest bloody jump in the world. Oh, now I'm going to do this. Whoa, hang on. Just wait a minute. Keep the feeling, if you want to. You can anchor it, anchor that feeling of how motivated you are by just squeezing any one of your fingers and thumb together as you feel that feeling and squeeze it. Oh, yeah. Because that will remember any unique touch to your body. You might even go, yes, this is. It for this particular one. And then you have to go, well. Okay, now the how. Now the what? Find the why of your value. Because the hows always come after you find the why Because the hows always come after you find the why. The why of your value. Whats important to you because it will stimulate your neural pathways, your reticular activating system. Youll start to focus on this thing thats really important to you. So I don't want you to start thinking because this is the first thing we tend to do. Ah, I know what the first step is. I'm going to do this, this and that. And sometimes we can, we can be. Lucky, be lucky finding those steps. But also, normally they're too big, they're. Too large, a step too much to do in too short a time, and we get demoralized, we get overwhelmed, and again, we shelve it. And it's such a shame because we, we could have been on just the right thing for us. It's going to make just the, the difference because it's so important to us. What is the final step that confirms you've achieved your goal So before we start working on the, how, we want to know, well, what. What are we going to achieve? What is that final thing that I want to have happened when I've achieved this goal? What would be that final step? The step that, says to me and confirms to me, m, I've got. It, I've done it. Now I know there'll be more steps after that because you'll get more goals, more places to focus on, more steps that you want to take to achieve other things. But just for this particular one, you think, well, if I was doing this. That would prove to me that I've. Got this goal, that I've achieved what I set out to achieve. And just make sure that it is the final step. Make sure that it is without doubt. Proof that you're there. Nothing else would have got in the way. It's got to be so specific. This is the one step that when. I take it would mean, yay, I'm doing it. So think about that for a little while. Make a picture of it in your mind. Notice what it feels like to take that final step. notice the feeling of taking that final step, achieving the thing you set out to achieve. It's damn close to that feeling that you found out from your value that. What'S important, what's so compelling, what's so motivating about this? You'll find that feeling, that emotion is. So close, if not the same, might. Be stronger, might be just a little bit behind. It doesn't matter because you're linked together now, the value and the final step, the achievement. Your unconscious mind understands where we're going. Not only the direction we're going, but. Where we want to go specifically. And as you see it in your mind's eye, so that, again, cluffy as you see it in your mind's eye, because this is important. As you see it in your mind's eye, you're visualizing it. You can step into that visualization, look through your own eyes, see what you'll see, hear what you'll hear and feel. Those feelings have taken that final step to know that you have arrived. And it's like having the goal now in the present. We always say, set the goal as if you've already achieved it, as if it's in the present. Well, this is how I like to do it. I like to imagine what that final step would be. What would it feel like? What would I see? What would I hear? Who would the people be around me? What have I learned? What if I think about the future? What more opportunities are available to me now? Now I'm taking this final step. And when you get that, you've got an immense feeling. You go into the kinesthetics of this and notice what it truly feels like to achieve this thing that you set out to achieve. And it was so important at the beginning, and it's now even more important. You can anchor that feeling and put. On the same anchor as well. Double it, stack it. I've got a, I'm sure somewhere, if I haven't, I'll get it out. There's an episode on how to Anchor. Just have a search for anchoring. And I, know, I'm sure, there may be one in the free hypnosis too. The free hypnosis and NLP processes. I do paulcluffonline.com forward slash podcast. Go there and you'll get an email from me and you'll get access, your own personal access to all those processes. And I'm sure if you go down there and I'm going to check this out, it's most unprofessional, of me, but I know it's there. How to anchor. So there you go. and if I haven't, I'm going to come back with another five minute quickie to show you where it is. But at the moment, you just do that and you see now you've got the feeling, the feeling of the wish fulfilled. That's what we call it, the feeling. Of the wish fulfilled. Now when you have that feeling and you know exactly this last step and you know because of that feeling, it is exactly, Yeah, it's exactly what you want. It might be even better than you wanted, but least, the very least, you know this is what you want. And you'll also know it's something if it was something you didn't want, because if you didn't want it, then, you. Know, to change it again. We haven't taken a step towards this yet, but we've been getting the steps together. So now, you know the final step, you know that feeling, you know, the wish fulfilled, the feeling of...
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FMQ 438 Hypnosis - What It's Really Like
04/03/2024
FMQ 438 Hypnosis - What It's Really Like
Hypnosis - What It's Really Like Let's take away any fear you might have If you ask 1000 hypnotists what is hypnosis you will probably get a 1000 different answers - And as a client why would you care? Yet I get clients who come to me with deep emotional problems, and some not deep, wanting help but are afraid, scared of what hypnosis feels like. Will be out of control? Will I remember any of it? Will you click your fingers and I'll be out of it- unconscious? Valid as those questions are, the facts of what hypnosis or some say trance is so different and is quite the contrary. Come listen and find out for yourself how I explain this to my clients Then please share with anyone who has those misconceptions And now the link if you want to see this in video form too Shine brightly Paul Please remember you can leave a comment or email me with questions, requests and feedback. If you have enjoyed this or any other episode please share and subscribe. Just email me If you want to subscribe to the podcast (I know you do) Remember for my specially designed programs for developing Supreme Inner Confidence, Free Your Life of Anxiety and specialize Hypnosis tracks go to If you want to access my FREE HYPNOSIS tracks go to Follow and inter-react on twitter @pcloughie I’m a therapist but not your therapist The information with this website or online work, techniques and exercises provided within these free and paid products are for educational purposes only. Do not use the techniques or exercises contained within some of these free or paid products whilst driving or operating machinery, or if you suffer from epilepsy, clinical depression or any other nervous or psychiatric conditions. The information provided is not a substitute for proper medical advice. If in doubt, please consult your doctor or licensed medical practitioner. Any decision you make having received any of Paul Clough's free or paid products are your own and you remain wholly responsible for any decisions and actions you take. Why not look for me and the podcast on AND the app Castbox I'm also in YouTube - copy n paste UC3BlpN4voq8aAN7ePsIMt2Q into search bar The Libsyn podcast page http://personaldevelomentunplugged.libsyn.com tunein, learnoutloud, Google Play Music Music by from , Music by from , Music by from , >, Music by from , Music by from ,
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#384 The Direct Debit Of Investing In You And Your Success
03/30/2024
#384 The Direct Debit Of Investing In You And Your Success
The Direct Debit Of Investing In You And Your Success What a mouthful and seems very technical It's a metaphor :O) In the financial world, people talk about capital and compound interest In the networking world, people talk about social capital And it got me thinking 'What about our world, the world of our personal development?' -you and me. How can we use the principles of financial investing and networking that work on ourselves? Digging the well before you are thirsty (that's not my phrase by the way I've borrowed it. And I have got some 'How too's' in this episode that I think make sense, are simple (we like simple) and if you do them they will increase your success and confidence compoundly (if that's a word- it is now). So come with me on this not too longa dive and let's learn ways to make our lives better. Please share all that you learn so you learn even more deeply Shine brightly Paul Please remember you can leave a comment or email me with questions, requests and feedback. If you have enjoyed this or any other episode please share and subscribe. Just email me If you want to subscribe to the podcast (I know you do) Remember for my specially designed programs for developing Supreme Inner Confidence, Free Your Life of Anxiety and specialize Hypnosis tracks go to If you want to access my FREE HYPNOSIS tracks go to Follow and inter-react on twitter @pcloughie I’m a therapist but not your therapist The information with this website or online work, techniques and exercises provided within these free and paid products are for educational purposes only. Do not use the techniques or exercises contained within some of these free or paid products whilst driving or operating machinery, or if you suffer from epilepsy, clinical depression or any other nervous or psychiatric conditions. The information provided is not a substitute for proper medical advice. If in doubt, please consult your doctor or licensed medical practitioner. Any decision you make having received any of Paul Clough's free or paid products are your own and you remain wholly responsible for any decisions and actions you take. Why not look for me and the podcast on AND the app Castbox I'm also in YouTube - copy n paste UC3BlpN4voq8aAN7ePsIMt2Q into search bar The Libsyn podcast page http://personaldevelomentunplugged.libsyn.com tunein, learnoutloud, Google Play Music Music by from , Music by from , Music by from , >, Music by from , Music by from , And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism This is personal development unplugged with Paul Clough You. Hey, your heads up for the direct debit of your success. I've gone into the financial world and found within the financial world and its setup there are things that we can learn. I've gone to the connection world networking world and found there's something we can use there and put them both together for our own better selves, our own personal development. Have a listen. I hope it makes sense. This is personal development unplugged, with Paul Clough. I want to talk to you about investments. Can you believe that? Investments. Hey friend, how we doing today In simplicity there is genius. In simplicity there is genius. Hey friend, how we doing today? And I want to talk to you about investments. Can you believe that? Investments. And no, it's not an advert. You see, it's all about capital. Investing your capital, creating your capital. And we all know, don't we? We all know that if you invest the right way, you get things like. Compound interest, don't you? It's interest on interest and interest on interest on interest. And I think a lot of people. Get a bit confused by that. And no, I'm not going to explain it because I get confused by it too. I just know it works. But I was listening to other people. Social capital is giving service, selfless Talk about it, about this, you see, because there was a term and I think it's still used, called social capital and what social capital, because it was a buzword and maybe it still is, I don't know. But social capital was I guess brought. In around the term networking. Networking in business, especially for entrepreneurs. But that's BS anyway, because the social capital of an individual didn't matter whether. You'Re an entrepreneur, if you're working. Just by yourself, or whether you're just. Working with other people. As an employee, you all required social capital. We all do. And what is social capital? Well, it's your contacts, your contacts in your career. This is where it came from, the networking. But obviously there's social contacts as well. And I remember the very, my early days of touching this networking. And it used to be like 1 minute networking, five minute networking. And it used to just be like hot tables. You go in there, hand a card over to somebody you did not want to do or give work to other people, you really just wanted work for yourself. It was so self centered, really was. There was no social capital at all. In that. It was win, not win win. You had to win at all costs, you had to get one up on everything. And that really didn't work because everybody knew it. And you used to get all those cards and used to put them in. The bin, you really did. Apart from the OD, one that you thought a guy was nice. And that's where the social capital comes from, because you made contacts. And then it changed. And it's changed. Well, it's changed for some. And I know the people who make it work. The social capital is giving service, selfless. Service for others, to create a network of friends. Not necessarily friends, but business friends, business colleagues, people who you could help. And, maybe one day, one day. They could help you. But that isn't the reason. The reason is just to get this social network. So you just get to, in times of crisis, I guess that's the real reason for it. You can call upon people just to reciprocate the help that you gave them. So there is a little bit of reciprocation there, I guess. But there is so much more giving than receiving. And it just works. Because what happens is people give back without you asking for the things. Because they feel good about it too. They want to, reciprocate. They want to do things selflessly. And therefore it's called digging the well before you're thirsty. Dig the well before you need it. The law of reciprocity. Capital and compound interest and social capital all apply to personal development And you see, you've got all of that, and you're probably thinking now, you are probably thinking, and quite rightly so, where's he going with this? What's Cloughie doing now? And what the hell's this got to. Do with personal development? Self improvement and, Being better today than yesterday? All that stuff he's talked about. Where is he going? And that's exactly what I thought. No, sort of. Because I, listening to all this thing. About capital and compound interest and also social capital, I thought to myself, this. Really does apply to our personal development. To being better today than yesterday. Because it got me thinking, how could we direct these thoughts of capital, compound. Interest with capital that creates in a, compound interest in us, in our personal development? How could it be directed to creating a better me? How could it be directed to me. Being a better me? And, when I say me also. Mean you, because you're my mate. So us, how could this thing about social capital and, if we. Could model it, what well would we need to dig to invest in us? Because that's what it is, isn't it? We all said it's investment. Investment in a career, maybe. Contacts, connections, compound interest. How could we dig a well that actually created something better in us? Good metaphor, I thought, because it's all about investing in who? Absolutely. Ourselves. But then I thought about it. It's not investing in ourselves, in big dollops. I love the word dollop today. Not in big dollops, but in small deposits. I don't know which one sounds better after when you talk about that, but investing in small deposits that add up over time. So I suppose you could call them regular small dollops. And I thought, well, how could we invested ourselves over time in regular small dollops that would then create a capital in us and create compound interest, create a network of learning, maybe. Oh, see, I thought learning small investments every day with obviously an intention, got to have a. Why? Why is it important to you to learn? It's no point in just saying, oh, I just want to, learn something because I know people, and I know you do, and I've talked about it before, who know a bit about everything. They know stuff that will never, ever be used. But I do think sometimes, on the. Flip side of that, it's good to learn lots of different things as well, to keep your interest going, to keep that muscle going, because like this, if. I wasn't thinking about capital, compound interest. And this social capital, I wouldn't have. Got this into my head about investing. In ourselves and creating a capital in ourselves. But actually, just sitting down and maybe reading for ten minutes a day could be something difficult. Because if you. If you read something a little bit more difficult than you can normally handle, your brain starts to work, your unconscious mind really starts to get into gear, and that muscle works. And then when you start to learn other stuff, the stuff that you're really interested in, boom. Yeah, compound interest. The thing is not too much, I. Don'T want these big dollops, because if. You start really pushing the boundaries of. Everything, we can get into overwhelm. And the thing about it is, I. Said, you can learn. I know people who know a lot about everything, but do absolutely soddle. I know other people who know very, I can say, know very little, but. Their scope is quite small, but they know it inside out and they use it. That's the one I prefer. But then building on that inside out. Knowing what you know, doing what you do, and, building that knowledge, becoming the mastery or the master of what you know. So you set, a schedule, as it were. I'm just going to read something for. Ten minutes a day. On one day, it'll be something maybe. A little bit different, but you'll see similarities in it. And another day I'm going to read. Something on the thing that's going to. Really develop me a way of learning, a way of doing something, maybe reading, if you're like a therapist, you'd maybe dive into a different process, understand something. And I think the more you do. That. It'S like compound interest, you will. Suddenly find that you know so much more and you can do so much more. So that compound interest is really starting to begin without you knowing it. And isn't that the thing about, like, investing in small dollops? You don't really notice it at the time, so it's not really hitting if it's. If it was money hitting your pocket that much. But when you look back and you go, crikey, where did all that come from? Because I heard a story, I don't. Know the story about this family that. Didn'T have much money. And when they got to the end of the week, they had only, a little bit of money left. Not enough money to buy more food, drink, things like that. So what they would do is they'd go out and buy a lottery ticket with the hope, and I love hope, hope of winning some money. Don't know whether they ever did, really. But I thought, what would happen if they just invested in themselves, as it were, by just putting that small amount. Of money to one side, even if. They didn't put it into a bank or anything. Maybe four weeks later, they've got a whole day's meal. And I just don't know why that struck me, because it was more about thinking, well, small bits add up over time. They do, don't they? Start small, small dollops and it's regular, you start to build I mean, you try learning something which is really big in a big dollop, you get overwhelmed. But if you start small, small dollops, and it's regular, you start to build. And then you can take on more. So that small dollop, say, a month. Ago, is completely different to the small. Dollop you're doing now. The small dollop you're doing now is. Probably twice as big as when you first started, and it's going to make a difference. See, that's like the compound interest, isn't it? So the 1% you're creating a better you by than the day before, that. 1% is of such a bigger thing, bigger baseline. And, that's all maths. But maths can be good. But I think it all comes down to the intention you have of creating capital in yourself. I think it's really important that we. Do that, because we also get. I think the more we do it, and we do it in this nice, evolving way, we also get to enjoy it. We enjoy that. It's not so much of a struggle that it's too hard. But it's a little bit of a. Struggle because it's a little bit different. But when we look back, we go. Wow, I enjoyed that. And now look at me now. Now look at m me now look at me now. Oh, by the way, here's one thought. I did have this dig in. The well. Thing is, it'll never really be dug, will it? Because you can always dig a little deeper into something. You can always find a little bit more. And, isn't that exciting? Always something new to learn. And then when you learn it, creating even more capital is you get to share it. And when you share it, we, Said you have something, you share it with somebody else, but it's in your mind, it's what you've learned. You still have it now they have it. So you're helping other people, they will help you. But the thing is, it's not just sharing. You get to know that you know it. You also get to know, if you. Don'T know it, where you need to invest a bit more. And because you're doing it for no want of return, you just want to. Share what you know, provided obviously people want to listen. But as you share it, because you can also share it, by the way, that you just hold yourself by example. You don't have to tell everybody. You can be the example of what you've learned, and it'll make a difference then. So you're making a difference to yourself. By really honing in your skills, making. A difference to others, because you're making. What you've learned available to them, too. And as they take it, on. You'Re making a difference because you'll never know how far the ripples of this change will go. The sharing will go. I never know how far it goes, but I just know it goes really far and wide. It's like that flapping of a butterfly. On one side of the world, creating a storm of wonder on the other side. And the thing is, I thought about this. it's a weird thing. You know, we talk about, do we direct debits? I don't know what you call them in, the US, we have them, and if we want to pay a regular installment to somebody, we create a direct debit. And every month that money goes out. Of your account and into theirs, you're investing into that. Well, what about habits? Making a direct debit into your own habits. Again, it's that same thing of scheduling, isn't it? One at a time. So there's no overwhelm. No overwhelm will ever sneak in. When you are consistent, and that's what the direct debit is. It's a consistent of paying in. And when you're consistent, you are creating. Good habits in yourself. And therefore, those dollops don't seem to be, well, they're not something you would put, oh, no, I've got to do this. You go, no, I want to do this because something's going to happen. Something's going to be really good. And the real win of this, I. Think, is you are ultimately taking responsibility. For you, it's our responsibility to be responsible for ourselves. No excuses, then no complaints. You are at cause because you get to say those words, I get to do this. I'm responsible for my change. Because you're responsible for your change. I'm responsible for my change. And you can say the same thing. And then with a little help, say, from the hypnosis tracks, we've got. Maybe some past episodes just to spark things in, because sometimes, yeah, we go off track a little bit, and we might want that hypnotrack to bring us back into line. Maybe just set a nice goal, maybe to see things from different perspective, maybe to get creative, maybe to be able to anchor things, set our intentions. They're all there, by the way. There's 65 hypnosis tracks. Paul Clough: Investing in yourself is often overlooked I've [email protected] podcast, and they're all free, so you can just go down there, guys. I was feeling a little bit, oh, there's 120 minutes. Boom, that's your investment for the day. And then we look back, we do our review. It's like scheduling a review, and it's. Like, really, when you think about investing. everyone has a. Most people, anyway, have an annual financial review. See how my money has performed. And you look back and say, see. How I have performed? Where can I improve? What have I learned? And I can even do more of. Maybe there's a couple of things that. I really want to get a little bit better at. I didn't realize, realize I could do all of this. Now. This is my interests. And it all comes down to one. Blindingly obvious and usually overlooked investing in yourself. Because no other person will ever do it for you. No one. And if we just keep making a. Small change, every small change will add. Up to massive results. And I want you to feel that. You know, you can do this. You want to do this. Because I don't know what this part is, other than creating and living the. Life that you really want. And it's so friggin easy. It's also so friggin easy to forget. And this is why this is a reminder for me. Reminder for you, I think, because you. Know, you know this, but sometimes we just need a little reminder. Little tap on the head. Just oyoi. Remember this. It's only small, but it's not insignificantly small. It's significantly significant. Remember, regular small dollops. Enjoy. I hope you enjoyed that. It was something which is completely different to the normal personal, development stuff we do here. But I just thought it makes a lot of sense, taking something from somewhere else and putting into ourselves and noticing we can learn from all different aspects, which is why, when I say learning, learn from different areas of life, you'll. Find a similarity somewhere. Something you can model, something you can use. So there you, go. Don't get thirsty. Have fun. And please do share this. Because...
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FMQ 437 Making Success Simply Achievable
03/27/2024
FMQ 437 Making Success Simply Achievable
Making Success Simply Achievable The way we speak, and the words we use can change the way we feel. Now I know that's completely left field and never been said before NOT Yet in this 5-minute quickie episode, I want to share one word that when used changes everything Change everything on the outside and even more importantly on the inside. Please share Oh! there's a video to this too Shine brightly Paul Please remember you can leave a comment or email me with questions, requests and feedback. If you have enjoyed this or any other episode please share and subscribe. Just email me If you want to subscribe to the podcast (I know you do) Remember for my specially designed programs for developing Supreme Inner Confidence, Free Your Life of Anxiety and specialize Hypnosis tracks go to If you want to access my FREE HYPNOSIS tracks go to Follow and inter-react on twitter @pcloughie I’m a therapist but not your therapist The information with this website or online work, techniques and exercises provided within these free and paid products are for educational purposes only. Do not use the techniques or exercises contained within some of these free or paid products whilst driving or operating machinery, or if you suffer from epilepsy, clinical depression or any other nervous or psychiatric conditions. The information provided is not a substitute for proper medical advice. If in doubt, please consult your doctor or licensed medical practitioner. Any decision you make having received any of Paul Clough's free or paid products are your own and you remain wholly responsible for any decisions and actions you take. Why not look for me and the podcast on AND the app Castbox I'm also in YouTube - copy n paste UC3BlpN4voq8aAN7ePsIMt2Q into search bar The Libsyn podcast page http://personaldevelomentunplugged.libsyn.com tunein, learnoutloud, Google Play Music Music by from , Music by from , Music by from , Music by from , Music by from ,
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#383 How Do I Compare To Others
03/23/2024
#383 How Do I Compare To Others
How Do I Compare To Others And why is it so BS when I do (it wrong)? Another listers question having trouble with this - comparing ourselves to others and feeling bad. And an apology there are a couple of swear words in this episode - sorry they just slipped out and I do think keeping them in is appropriate and deliberately a little shocking I think we all have issues with comparing to others and I want to share my personal experiences, yup plural, and what happened. The thing is we only see the outside of people, their showreels, and I know you and I never get to compare against how they really are. and if we did it might be a different result to our emotions. I will take you on an audio adventure of who to compare to and use that comparison to make your life better every day, week, month, and year. I'll also share how to compare to others that work too. Oh, am I a sharer. :O) Talking of sharing here's a link to share this episode with others if they haven't a podcast app I hope you enjoy and if I have shared something you didn't know that's GREAT! If you know all this 'stuff' hopefully I have encourage you to use what you know a little bit more. Shine brightly Paul Please remember you can leave a comment or email me with questions, requests and feedback. If you have enjoyed this or any other episode please share and subscribe. Just email me If you want to subscribe to the podcast (I know you do) Remember for my specially designed programs for developing Supreme Inner Confidence, Free Your Life of Anxiety and specialize Hypnosis tracks go to If you want to access my FREE HYPNOSIS tracks go to Follow and inter-react on twitter @pcloughie I’m a therapist but not your therapist The information with this website or online work, techniques and exercises provided within these free and paid products are for educational purposes only. Do not use the techniques or exercises contained within some of these free or paid products whilst driving or operating machinery, or if you suffer from epilepsy, clinical depression or any other nervous or psychiatric conditions. The information provided is not a substitute for proper medical advice. If in doubt, please consult your doctor or licensed medical practitioner. Any decision you make having received any of Paul Clough's free or paid products are your own and you remain wholly responsible for any decisions and actions you take. Why not look for me and the podcast on AND the app Castbox I'm also in YouTube - copy n paste UC3BlpN4voq8aAN7ePsIMt2Q into search bar The Libsyn podcast page http://personaldevelomentunplugged.libsyn.com tunein, learnoutloud, Google Play Music Music by from , Music by from , Music by from , >, Music by from , Music by from , And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism Hey, my friend, how do I compare to others? What's this all about? Well, it's a question that was raised by one of you about comparing to others and feeling bad. And, that is so bs. And I want to show you how, why and what to do about it and to feel the joy and love in the world. And, I know feeling joy and love in the world is so important to everyone to have a listen after these next 15 or so seconds. Warning, warning. Warning. Warning. You are entering into the unplugged mind of Paul Clough. Clough. Too late. Personal development unplugged. So you're back for a bit more. Hey, pleased to have you with me. And I compare thee to a summer's night, summer's dream. I don't know what that was, but. It's all about comparing ourselves to others. Isn't that what we do Since I put the shortest newsletter out I could the other week, I got a question from one of the listeners. One of the, one of our listeners, one of you, one of the three of you out there asked another question. And it's all about comparing ourselves, to others. And guess what? Feeling bad. Isn't that what we do? Isn't that what we do? So I want to tell you a couple of stories. First, about comparing. I attended trainings in NLP when I was a practitioner First, about comparing. About comparing. Now, I might warn you now, I might swear a little bit in this. Maybe not. Maybe I'll be so articulate that I won't swear. But who knows? We'll see. Anyway, back in the days of my trainings in NLP, not the ones I did or I gave, but the ones. I attended when I was a practitioner. Or learning to be a practitioner and learning to be a master practitioner. And you see, at the end of. One room, of the room we were. Doing the training in, there was a table. And it was the table I loved. The most because it was the book table. And, when you're into hypnosis and. NLP, as much as I was, you. Just wanted to read and take in everything you could, especially the yellow books. I don't know why yellow books, but yellow books always seemed to be more attractive to me. And they just did. They just did. And I bought a book every month. Every month. But then I'd talk to a few people and they go, oh, I've read that. Oh, it's a really great book. Yeah, I've read that too. Oh, I know all about that one. I know that one and I know that one. And they would come out with all these, and that's the one side of NLP I'm not 100% with sometimes is the bloody wording. Sometimes the wording is a bit complicated, sometimes I think it's a little bit. Up our ass, but I know what. It's trying to do. But, hey, but they were using words. That just didn't make sense. And I used to sit there thinking, they know so much. Compared to me, I know nothing. They know so much. I'm going to tell you what happened to them in a minute, but not yet. You see, also in those trainings, and not just those trainings, even my hypnosis training, the trainings, I've gone to see other people watching demos and, a demo is. We're going to show you a process. We'll talk through a process. Now, has anybody got this type of problem? Come up on the stage and we'll. Get rid of it by using this process and we'll demonstrate the process. And, then you're all going to go away as practitioners and go and practice that as an exercise. And I used to watch those demos with the biggest eyes and a mouth dropped open, watching the skill of that trainer. And it was every trainer they just. Seemed to master being able to find a root cause, be able to, I. Don'T know, it was like, steer their way through. It was if that process just homed in. And I used to think, compared to me, I, don't know if I'm. M even going to be able to do the process. I would never, never, ever in a. Million, million bloody years be able to do that. I never would. And, also in my clinic have. These lovely clients come in, lovely people. And some of them, when you look. At them and you see them drive up in their bloody great big cars. Huge cars, lovely cars, and you just. Know they're in brackets, whatever that bracket is, successful. They look like they have it all. And I'm thinking other, bloody hell, you. Come in here, you've got it all. But I knew that. I know that's just silly self talk. Because yet inside they were racked with. All sorts of emotions, trauma, maybe they. Were suffering from emotions, but from a deep grief, guilt and the anxiety and the fears that came from that, the effects were there, but it was like as if they didn't show it on the outside, they didn't show it. Paul says he often compares himself to famous people on social media See, another thing, another thing. You might believe this or you might. Not, but I've got some friends. I got a couple of friends. And yes, I do. I'm not fibbing, I'm not bragging, I'm not bragging, I'm not bigging myself up because I've got a couple of friends. But I've got a couple of friends. And on the outside they seem so confident. They always seem bloody happy. They're laughing and they're joking, and they always seem to be flittering around and just having a great time with lots of different people. Always having a, having a joke, always. Having a bit of a laugh. They look absolutely as if they're killing. It in a good way. But when we talk by ourselves, one to one, they admit to being anxious. About things, anxious about their business. They're scared of, things that are happening in their life. They're worried. Isn't that strange? Yet I compare them myself to them. They tell such wonderful stories. They're always alive and soul of the party. And there's me old, little old introvert in that corner. Yes, they're my friends, but I'm the little one in the corner. And I'm big boy little one in the corner. I'm not big. I'm, Tall. Not big big, but tall, tall, tall. Paul. And I compare. I wish. But then when I do hear them. Talk about their anxieties, their fears, what they're scared about, m kept that hidden. And there's a lot of funny people. I don't mean funny, weird funny. I would keep making myself laugh this morning, and it is this morning. And I don't know why I said that either. But there's a lot of comedians, people who make people laugh for a living. You hear about them being so depressed. So depressed when they close the doors. And become alone and you compare yourself. To them, you think they're having a lovely, they're having such a great life, always seeing them laughing, joking, being interviewed. Yeah, I wish I could be like that. You think? But then it's only when they open. Up do you notice that they're really depressed. even famous people who, you think are smashing it out the park, living the life. Well, some people think they're living the. Life, but they've lost all their friends because of the fame. They're not allowed to do anything. But when you see them, they're strutting around. And yet some of them commit suicide. And even their closest friends would never guess. Well, cloughy, I think we're going on the dark side. We don't want to go the dark side, you see? Where are we bloody going? Where the nearly saw. Where are we going? Because the thing is, each one of. Those little stories, and, they're all true, aren't they. It's not about comparing with others, because you can't. How can you compare with others when. You don't know what the inside is? You don't know what's going through their heads. You don't know they're experiencing or what they're experiencing and how they're feeling it. And what they've lost and what they're going through. You're seeing their bloody show reels. We talk about, know, on Facebook and all that other social media toss, people showing their show reels. And some even, well, they are made up. I even knew of one guy who, when he went on holiday, just to show everybody the weather was so, so wonderful, he'd get someone to take his photograph with. He'd take, he's there in his little. T shirt, smiling like anything. He actually told me, as soon as. That photograph's taken, I have to put. A jumper and me coat on because. It'S so bloody cold. It's just sunny. It was so cold. But I just wanted to show people. And you think, wow, that's deception. And it is. It's just people having show reels, how. Wonderful their bloody life is. And you see it everywhere, don't you? And then we compare against it. And what the fuck are you doing doing that for? Said I might swear, and it just came out. So what or who should we compare to? Have a think about that, just for a second or two. Who or what should we compare to? Have a guess. I'll tell you. I'm going to swear now. It's fucking you. When we're planning our week ahead, look back at what happened in the week before That's the only person we can compare against. We have right now. The most brilliant opportunity to learn and keep being the best us, there is in this world. The unique you, the unique me. There is never a better opportunity for. You right now to learn to be and keep being the best you. And why is it the best opportunity? Because you're bloody here. You're breathing, you're above ground. Who knows that thing. You wake up in the morning, another day above ground, it's going to be brilliant. And all you have to do is. Compare yourself with yourself. Review yourself with who you were yesterday. Maybe last week, maybe go back a. Month, maybe the whole year. and I suggest you do each one of those. You should be looking back at yesterday and going, can I be a little bit better today? Should, at the end of the week, should we should all over ourselves. But we could, at the beginning of. A week, look back at the. When we're planning our week ahead, look back at what happened in the week before? And how can we make this next week even better? Look back at the whole month. What did we achieve? How far have we've come? And how can we make that even better? How come we can just grow just. That little bit more and grow, I mean grow with joy, not just slogging. Away at learning now grow to be the best version of ourselves. You know that then maybe at. One time you might look over the. Whole year, what goals did I have a year ago? And they'll change month by month, won't they? Because every year, a month by month is another year in a month ahead. What goals did I have a year ago? What have I achieved? What have I done? What have I met? What do I still want to do? How can I make it better for. The whole next twelve months after that? And then you can be start thinking, what can I learn from all of. That to be better, happier, happier with. More joy and love? And I'm getting soppy there. Giving love is the only pure, pure emotion. The number one emotion, love. There is no other really emotion. They're all derivatives from love. That's what I believe, apart from the shit stuff. And we can be a little bit soppy because I don't know about you, I'd like and love a life a. Daily, every day would be filled with joy and love. Yeah, maybe it's not always going to be that way, but if I can strive to do that, it'll be better. Than it could have been, should have been, because I've made it better. And you might even want to think, well, if I'm comparing myself in the past, how about comparing myself in the bloody future? How do I want to be? I know I want that joy. I know I want that love. But what can I do tomorrow? So I'm a little bit today, so I'll make tomorrow a little bit more. Of a stride, test, a stretch so I can strive to be better. That happened today. And I'm going to strive to be better than yesterday. What about next week? How do I want to be next week? How do I want to be next month? How do I want to be next year? Because, they're like your goals for. The future, aren't they? And it's how do you want to feel and what are the emotions you want to generate and feel and give and receive? It's just go on emotions to start off with. Because if you can live your life really feeling the emotions that you really. Want and get them better and more. Intense each day, each week, each month, each year. The things you'll be doing will be absolutely fucking awesome. They will. I do apologize by the swearing, but it's just me. So instead of comparing against all that other toss, this is where you compare. Take time out to review this. Literally, with wonderful intention This is where you grow. This is where you feel good and. Take time out to review this. Literally, with wonderful intention. Take your ten minutes out and say stuff. Everybody. For me, this is my ten minutes. I just want to review and see how good I bloody am and how good I can be. Even better or better. I could be even gooder or whatever it is. And then start to visualize feeling that way. Maybe there are one or two things you're going to be doing behavior wise. That will make you feel that way. If you did it just the way. You want, if the outcome was just the way you wanted it, or even. Better than you wanted it. Because you're really not that intelligent enough. And nor am I, by the way, to really imagine how much we can have, because you need to let yourself go, like with the imagination of. With childlike qualities. Imagine you could have anything. How would that feel? Because it's that feeling. And, the thing is, you see, when it comes down to it, there's only one bloody person who can be you. You. All those other people, they're not you. So why are you comparing them with. You think that's another one, isn't it? That's a little bit of a reframe. Why are you comparing with others who are not you? Because you don't know what's going inside their head. You don't know their experiences. You don't know what's happening. Now. Instead of comparing though, those show reels can be motivating, can't they? Because I guess in some ways you're seeing those people at, their very, very, very best. Forget all the shit that was in the background. They appear to be having a great time doing what they love. And we can model the good bits. Of that, but not the way they. Do it, but get that to influence and inspire you to put it into your visualization. So see yourself doing things similar and noticing as you do. Just the old thing we've been doing here so many times in every. Not every episode, but most episodes. Seeing yourself out. I say that again and slow down, cloughy. See yourself over there doing the things. You want to do, experiencing the things. You want to be and have and feel. And then add those little skills that you've seen in other people's show reels. Maybe it's that smile. Maybe it's that welcoming just being body language. Maybe, just those little bits that you could add to the way you behave will make. And then you'll get that feeling. Now, the one thing about this, and. I know you're going to say, oh. No, cluffy, please don't say, write it down. Yes. Because you see, if you just think about this stuff, thinking is good, doing is better. because you can think about that forever. But if you don't do it, then it's waste of time. And I want to do a longer. Podcast on that bit. And I don't like butts either. You need to be able to put this down into some form of writing so you can remember it. Even if it's not fully fledged sentences. It's not a book, it's not chapters, it's that. But just get like, I call it a puzzle book. Things that you're going to work through. So you might just notice one or two skills that you like, just throw. Them down on a piece of paper. Because then you can go back to it. So when you're imagining and envisualizing yourself in the future, being able to have those experiences, you can look at that puzzle book and go, ah, add in those couple. You might call it a dream book....
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FMQ 436 Practice Makes Perfect - NO
03/20/2024
FMQ 436 Practice Makes Perfect - NO
Practice Makes Perfect - NO! Practice, any kind of practice, does one thing Practice makes ...........................PERMANENT Having to be perfect is has great intention of not failing, or appearing stupid, of doing things that others can't criticize and make us feel bad But it works from the basis of fear and failure and a lot of PAIN. Now knowing practice makes permanent it becomes obvious practicing things badly, from the basis of fear and failure and a lot of PAIN is bad and will permanently make this worse with more fear, failure, and a lot of PAIN. So let's see how we can make this so much more comfortable, rewarding, and pleasurable. To do that, because this a podcast, after all, you'll first have to press play. Then of course share: If you want to watch this after here's the video link: Shine brightly Paul Please remember you can leave a comment or email me with questions, requests and feedback. If you have enjoyed this or any other episode please share and subscribe. Just email me If you want to subscribe to the podcast (I know you do) Remember for my specially designed programs for developing Supreme Inner Confidence, Free Your Life of Anxiety and specialize Hypnosis tracks go to If you want to access my FREE HYPNOSIS tracks go to Follow and inter-react on twitter @pcloughie I’m a therapist but not your therapist The information with this website or online work, techniques and exercises provided within these free and paid products are for educational purposes only. Do not use the techniques or exercises contained within some of these free or paid products whilst driving or operating machinery, or if you suffer from epilepsy, clinical depression or any other nervous or psychiatric conditions. The information provided is not a substitute for proper medical advice. If in doubt, please consult your doctor or licensed medical practitioner. Any decision you make having received any of Paul Clough's free or paid products are your own and you remain wholly responsible for any decisions and actions you take. Why not look for me and the podcast on AND the app Castbox I'm also in YouTube - copy n paste UC3BlpN4voq8aAN7ePsIMt2Q into search bar The Libsyn podcast page http://personaldevelomentunplugged.libsyn.com tunein, learnoutloud, Google Play Music Music by from , Music by from , Music by from , >, Music by from , Music by from ,
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#382 I'm Confused and That's Great!
03/16/2024
#382 I'm Confused and That's Great!
I'm Confused and That's Great! Now that's confusing!!!!!!! It's not the longest episode and all will become clear as you listen - It always does because that's what happens when you learn something new. Confusion becomes clarity. I'm sharing with you examples of my experiences and explaining why, the how, and those times when we just give up. If only we had waited just a short while. SO now you can look forward to being confused knowing you're on the right path and ready to springboard to the next level - now that's got to be exciting. :O) Please share and subscribe: Shine brightly Paul Please remember you can leave a comment or email me with questions, requests and feedback. If you have enjoyed this or any other episode please share and subscribe. Just email me If you want to subscribe to the podcast (I know you do) Remember for my specially designed programs for developing Supreme Inner Confidence, Free Your Life of Anxiety and specialize Hypnosis tracks go to If you want to access my FREE HYPNOSIS tracks go to Follow and inter-react on twitter @pcloughie I’m a therapist but not your therapist The information with this website or online work, techniques and exercises provided within these free and paid products are for educational purposes only. Do not use the techniques or exercises contained within some of these free or paid products whilst driving or operating machinery, or if you suffer from epilepsy, clinical depression or any other nervous or psychiatric conditions. The information provided is not a substitute for proper medical advice. If in doubt, please consult your doctor or licensed medical practitioner. Any decision you make having received any of Paul Clough's free or paid products are your own and you remain wholly responsible for any decisions and actions you take. Why not look for me and the podcast on AND the app Castbox I'm also in YouTube - copy n paste UC3BlpN4voq8aAN7ePsIMt2Q into search bar The Libsyn podcast page http://personaldevelomentunplugged.libsyn.com tunein, learnoutloud, Google Play Music Music by from , Music by from , Music by from , >, Music by from , Music by from , And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism This podcast is all about why the hell are you confused So what's on this longer podcast it's all about why the hell are you confused? I'm going to give you some examples how I got so bloody confused and what happened, and to know that it's okay to be confused because when you are, you're on the right path. And I'll explain all of that, because even that's confusing. So just hang on for 10 seconds and then we'll begin. Personal, personal develop, personal developer development. plug, So why do I get so confused? Why do you get so confused? Do you get confused? I get bloody confused sometimes. And I think I know why. I think I know why. Years and years and years and years and years ago when, I don't know. I was probably about 15, 14'15, maybe. 16, I don't know. But I was doing some mathematics, maths, I think some people call it the maths. And it was advanced maths for the age. And I was pretty good, pretty good. And then something happened. There was one bit, I just didn't get it at all. Didn't bloody get it. There was nothing happening in my brain. It was if the fog had come. Down, as if I didn't know anything. And I knew I had to know. This to get onto, the next bit. And I just didn't make sense anymore. Just didn't. And I got anxious. I got worried. I was going through all the stuff that a 15, 16 year old boy does. And the thing I thought I was. Good at, suddenly I was crap. I didn't know what was going to happen. And then, one day, and it wasn't too long after, something happened, and it was if a switch had been changed, pop. If switches got pop, but a switch had come on and suddenly it's like the aha, moment without knowing it was an aha moment at that age. I just understood it. It was clear as blooming day what the hell was going on there. And there's another end of the scale, you see. Another end? Yeah. A few years ago, when I was. In my earlier ish years of doing hypnosis and hypnotherapy and ah, I thought I was bloody good. Thought I could change the world with hypnosis. And I've been studying and studying and studying and studying and modeling and doing all this stuff and trying to get processes that were really so on the bloody ball. And I was really into it, 100 plus percent. Reading and learning, reading and learning, watching videos, trying to model people on videos, modeling their processes, creating. Because I knew I got them wrong, but I was creating, I thought, better. Ones because they were working. And I was so there. And then I was with this client. And I've been doing roughly the same. Type of stuff, and I was with this client and she was chatting away and I was asking questions as I did. And then that thing happened, but this time with a voice. I was sitting there looking at her, nodding my head, and the voice inside of me was going, cloughy, you ain't. Got a fucking clue, have you? And that's what I said. I'm sorry about the swearing, but that's what I said. You haven't got a clue. You don't know what to do. I didn't. And I was talking to myself while I was nodding and looking at it and said, no, I haven't got a clue. I don't know what to do. Bloody hell. And I going, well, shall I cancel the session? Tell I'm really sorry, really sorry, I can't do it. And then my voice kicked in and. Said, you ain't doing that, cloughy. You ain't doing that. Just stay and listen. Just stay and listen. And I did. And, it didn't take long, because. Then all of a sudden, sort of, all of a sudden, I asked a. Question that I didn't know I was going to ask, which seems quite weird. It was. I heard myself ask this question. And that voice inside to me said, that's a fucking good question, cloughy. That really is. And you know what? That question changed everything. It changed everything for, her, because. It was the one question that suddenly reframed everything. We found the root cause. We knew then the process, what to do. And it just worked so wonderfully well. But it changed my life there and. ; Then, in my little old clinic's little room there. Changed my life forever. Because gone are the days where I think I know the answer. I think I know what I'm going to do. Because I used to have that. I know this is a phobia, so we got to do a phobia release. We got to do this, we got to do that. And now I just wait because I. Sometimes learning in hypnosis can plateau and then get confusing again Know I've got it all inside. I, know I've got those questions. But if I just wait for that. Intuition, that inspiration, it'll happen. Now, that's an extreme example of it happening really quickly. But maybe I think I know what's happening. I think I know what's happening. Because. I was reminded of my very first training in hypnosis with wonderful wilf proudfoot. bless him, he's gone now. He was absolutely such a wonderful, wonderful man. And he showed me this graph. Well, not just me, there was other people there. He showed me, like, if you can imagine a graph and it's got the. Was it the y axis and the x axis? Forget what it is. But it was like one is time, and one time goes across the bottom, and you're learning is the vertical axis. And it was going like a nice 45 degree angle, the line. So you learn nothing and then you start. Over time, you start to learn and it gets steeper and steeper. So it's like, not as. It's a 45 degree angle. It's like a curve getting steeper and steeper. And there's a point in time in your learning that it bloody stops. It just stops. Sometimes it's like a plateau. Sometimes it's a bit of a jiggity jaggedy line. For a period of time. Now, that could be like a day. Or two, like my early, early, earliest. Experience, or within minutes with that time of the client, or it could be a week, could be anything. But there's that time when it's as. If all learning stops. You don't keep that wonderful rise, whether it's the excitement suddenly goes or it just gets too bloody complicated for you. I think it's because it gets really quite complicated because you're pushing yourself. I know it's exciting at the time. And you really want to, but then all of a sudden, you take so. Much in, everything slows down and it bloody feels like it stopped. Do you know what? Everything then in my mind comes confusing, becomes confusing. It's. I'm thinking, I don't know bugger all now. And it's weird. Now, here's the thing. What will said was, at the end of that jiggity jaggedy plateau, one line could go downhill very quickly, very rapidly. Over time, which means you give up. It's too much. This confusion is too much. And I think, ah, I'm not good enough. I'm not this or whatever. I can't do this. I'm not supposed to be here. People are fired. All that rubbishy, bloody limiting beliefs. You get, And boom, you just give up. And we've seen things like that with. Weight loss, haven't we? That's a typical example. You start to lose weight really quickly and then it just tends to plateau. And sometimes you put on a little bit and then you take, but it's not going off at the same rate. And we give up. It's like when we're trying to learn a new skill, just like I say. With that hypnosis, it's a new skill. Oh, it's so good, so good. Then it just gets bloody confusing. But you see, instead of that line. That goes down and we give up. There'S another line that starts another steep project. I can't say the word goes off. At a big angle, at an upright angle, and you start to learn again. At a rapid state, rate of knots. State of knots, rate of knots. And then at the end of that there's another little plateau and maybe a. Jiggity jaggedy, jiggity jaggedy. And it gets all confusing again. You see, what I think what is happening is sometimes it's like an aha moment at the end of the jiggity jaggedy plateau and allows us to learn. But I think it's like our unconscious mind is saying, hang on a minute, we got a lot of, lots of, I keep swearing a lot of information and we need to make sense of it. We really do, we need to make sense of it. So let's just slow down, let's take a breath, let's just put things in order. I used to think about it like a computer when they used to see that little picture of a defrag. I don't know if you've ever seen that, if you're as old as I am. Used to see a defrag and all the little bits just kept dropping order. Like one of those things you see on. I don't even know what the game is because I don't play games. But things just suddenly were out of order and they start to fit again. And as they begin to fit again, it's as if. Aha. Uh-huh. That's what it is. Oh, I got it. So I think it's your unconscious mind. & Really sorting things out for you. And if you know that, you go. Okay, it's a bit confusing. This is, I'm going to sit here, I'm just going to maybe think about it a bit. Paul Clough: Think about the things you have learned about confusion Not a lot, but I think instead. Of thinking about the confusing bit, just think about the things that you have learned. Because I think if you just sit quietly, maybe just review and write it down in your own words, that's the thing that's going around at the moment. If you write what you know in your own words again, you get it again. So that helps to jiggly jaggly all. The bits together or just go for a ruddy walk, just go do so do some exercise, do some reading. Of something completely different. Just do something. So to allow your unconscious mind to put the things together, which are, all there. You've got all the information, just not in the right sequence. Syntax, order and sequence. I think that's the right definition of syntax. The order and sequence. Or is that the same thing? Who, knows? I don't care. But when you do that, I know you'll suddenly get it. You will. Maybe you just go to meditate, maybe. Just have bloody fun. Do something completely different. Exercise is really great, though, and all you have to do is keep. Returning every now and again, saying to yourself in that David goggins way and without the swear words this time. I got this. You got this. I got this. I, know all will become clear. And I want to be like, when that, aha, comes, what will I start to learn even more? Can you see these wonderful positive questions and statements? And if you go for a walk. You'Re getting fresh air, you're seeing the beauty of the world. You're getting a little bit of exercise. If you meditate, your mind is just defocusing. If you exercise, you're getting your muscles to go and let your brain muscle have a little rest. Just because you've. Been working it hard, like a muscle in the gym. If you really go for some real pump bloody aches, and it's not very mobile for a couple of days, and you let it rest, you rest yourself. So here's the thing. This thing about confusion is it's not you. It's not you at all. It just happens. It happens naturally. It's a natural occurring phenomenon. None, if that's right. So don't worry about it. Go. In fact, you should celebrate the bloody thing, celebrate being confused, which is a. Bit counterintuitive, I guess. So instead of saying, why am I confused? You go, oh, great, I'm about to learn even more. I'm about to get that aha, moment. All I got to do is get. Out my own bloody way. I need to get out my own bloody way and stay with it because. I know I'm on the right path now. I, know it will only take a small time. It will come to me. I've got this. And you know you're on the right path. So as you know, you can do whatever you like, completely different. And you'll notice there are so many. Different things you could do. Maybe listen to a hypnosis track. Where'd you get them from Cloughy. I'm going to tell you, you know. Well, maybe you don't know because you. Could be new here. Hopefully I haven't shocked you with a little f bomb now and again. All you do is go to paulcloffonline.com podcast. That's Paulcluffonline. All one word. Yeah, paulcluffonline.com podcast. Sorry, I got confused in my head. I had to wait a minute. And you'll click on there, you'll get. A lovely email from me saying, hey, here's your link. And there you go. You click on that, you pick on one of 65 processes there so you'll find something to think of, something completely. Different while your best mate, your best. Friend is doing the work for you. Now that's awesome, isn't it? And guess what? You might even get the most irregular newsletter than you've ever had before. I'm amazed how many newsletters I get. All random from everybody else, as if you're flooded sometimes, but you'll get one or two. Sometimes I do it in audio, sometimes I do in video, sometimes I do it just in writing. They're not very long, but it gives. You an idea where we are, gives. You some way to contact me, contacting. Me rather, if you want to, if you get confused and you'd like some help. But if you think about it, if. You know that things are gonna, are. Going to become clear shortly, it's now okay, isn't it? It is okay. And all you have to do is wait and do something pleasurable, something different. Paul Clough: Why am I confused about this podcast And just make a time to come. Back and check in, do that review. Like I said, I'm reviewing the review now. And sometimes it's good to have that review just to know how far you've come. Because sometimes we forget that with that rapid rate of learning, we get so involved that we forget how much we've learned, how much we're asking our little old muscle in our head to comprehend. To put in order. You even draw the little graph and go, this is where I am. And there's another big spurt coming. Yeah, big spurt coming on. Big spurt of learning, that is. And what fun can you have knowing, that you're on the right path? And it's stretching, isn't it's stretching yourself. Sometimes stretching, well, doesn't, hurt, but it can be a little bit painful, can't it? If you're really just stretching muscles, you're stretching yourself. You're putting yourself out there. So we'll credit to you. So if you're confused, I applaud you if this has confused you, I've done a bad job. I hope I haven't done a bad job, I hope I've just had a. Little chat and thought about, it's not. The longest of longest podcasts, but I. Just wanted to go through, why am I confused? Because it can be confusing when you're confused, can't it? And you could, if you wanted to, just have more fun than you can stand while you're waiting, find something incredibly. Good and, fun to do for an hour, wallow in the fun, and. Then come back and notice where you are. It works. It just works. And I know, as I said, with. My client, my work with clients now has changed dramatically. They get the results and I enjoy not knowing. Isn't that it's exciting to not know what's going to come out of your mouth? And the questions that come, where. Did that come from? And that's the answer. And the client goes, wow, that is the answer. Reframing just comes without thinking. When you have to think about bloody things, it's hard. We don't want to do things hard. We want to have good stuff, which is hard. Anyway, enjoy. Have a good think. Let me know. And please share this, because, there's so many other buggers out there who are bloody confused, and they need a little bit of, not sympathy, a little bit of compassion, little bit of help. So do share this episode, if you would, please, and know not, no, no, but kn o w no. That if you accidentally share this to everybody, that would be an accident, might confuse them. And if you accidentally press that subscribe follow button, whatever you've got on your little listening machine, that would be really helpful. That would be a helpful accident because it would just help this show get to show, is it? Well, this podcast to get to more people, to hopefully learn, new things, to help them doing what comes naturally and then confusing them as well. Anyway, until the next time, my friend, have more fun than you can stand. Bye bye now.
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FMQ 435 How Fast is Too Fast
03/13/2024
FMQ 435 How Fast is Too Fast
How Fast is Too Fast? Everything is happening so fast, the quick fix, mind hack and is wanted right now - is that a good thing? Now I know emotional change-work works really well when we work fast, why would you draw out better ways to be? Personal development, yours and mine is a lifelong adventure, not a journey unless you call it a hero's journey. It should be a thing of beauty and each moment one to savor. We call it enjoy the process and again I ask why wouldn't you want to enjoy the process and those steps of creating the best version of yourself. My intention in this episode is to encourage you to muse over this concept of finding joy over the rush. Please share and enjoy Shine brightly Paul Please remember you can leave a comment or email me with questions, requests and feedback. If you have enjoyed this or any other episode please share and subscribe. Just email me If you want to subscribe to the podcast (I know you do) Remember for my specially designed programs for developing Supreme Inner Confidence, Free Your Life of Anxiety and specialize Hypnosis tracks go to If you want to access my FREE HYPNOSIS tracks go to Follow and inter-react on twitter @pcloughie I’m a therapist but not your therapist The information with this website or online work, techniques and exercises provided within these free and paid products are for educational purposes only. Do not use the techniques or exercises contained within some of these free or paid products whilst driving or operating machinery, or if you suffer from epilepsy, clinical depression or any other nervous or psychiatric conditions. The information provided is not a substitute for proper medical advice. If in doubt, please consult your doctor or licensed medical practitioner. Any decision you make having received any of Paul Clough's free or paid products are your own and you remain wholly responsible for any decisions and actions you take. Why not look for me and the podcast on AND the app Castbox I'm also in YouTube - copy n paste UC3BlpN4voq8aAN7ePsIMt2Q into search bar The Libsyn podcast page http://personaldevelomentunplugged.libsyn.com tunein, learnoutloud, Google Play Music Music by from , Music by from , Music by from , >, Music by from , Music by from ,
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#381 Fanning The Flames and Nipping The Bud
03/09/2024
#381 Fanning The Flames and Nipping The Bud
Fanning The Flames and Nipping The Bud Wouldn't it be great to have a metaphor and use it for two things not just one? We all have issues (don't we? or is it just me?) that if we dealt with them early would never become an issue and Don't we all get those intuitive idea moments when we look back and say if only I had acted on them - Or is that just me again? :O) In this episode, I think I have found a way to do both, deal with issues quickly and act upon those moments of inspiration. I'll also mix up my metaphors which I think will really get into both your conscious and unconscious minds and you will begin to act and make so many positive changes in your life. The best thing is you will be taking responsibility for both nipping your negative issues before they start to take hold and fanning the motivation to create success. Please share this episode to help others and hit that subscribe/follow button: Shine brightly Paul Please remember you can leave a comment or email me with questions, requests and feedback. If you have enjoyed this or any other episode please share and subscribe. Just email me If you want to subscribe to the podcast (I know you do) Remember for my specially designed programs for developing Supreme Inner Confidence, Free Your Life of Anxiety and specialize Hypnosis tracks go to If you want to access my FREE HYPNOSIS tracks go to Follow and inter-react on twitter @pcloughie I’m a therapist but not your therapist The information with this website or online work, techniques and exercises provided within these free and paid products are for educational purposes only. Do not use the techniques or exercises contained within some of these free or paid products whilst driving or operating machinery, or if you suffer from epilepsy, clinical depression or any other nervous or psychiatric conditions. The information provided is not a substitute for proper medical advice. If in doubt, please consult your doctor or licensed medical practitioner. Any decision you make having received any of Paul Clough's free or paid products are your own and you remain wholly responsible for any decisions and actions you take. Why not look for me and the podcast on AND the app Castbox I'm also in YouTube - copy n paste UC3BlpN4voq8aAN7ePsIMt2Q into search bar The Libsyn podcast page http://personaldevelomentunplugged.libsyn.com tunein, learnoutloud, Google Play Music Music by from , Music by from , Music by from , >, Music by from , Music by from , And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism Paul Clough uses metaphor to talk about letting go of negative stuff Hey, friend, how are you today? Genuine question. How are you today? Is there any smoke with your fire, or is there any fire with your smoke? Not quite sure which way that goes. No smoke without fire or no fire without smoke? I think it's smoke without fire, isn't it? I don't, know. It's just one of those things that people say, and it's normally directed at people, who have been accused of something, isn't it? And whether they're guilty, whether they're innocent. They always say, well, there's no smoke without fire. And I don't think that's particularly useful. I don't know what it does. I don't know whether it just makes people just something to talk about, I guess. And that, to me, isn't useful. But I thought about this saying, no smoke without fire, because I wanted to change it to ourselves. What would happen if we took that sentence, no smoke without fire in relations to both issues, our issues, yours and mine, and dreams, dreams, goals, things like that, those type of dreams. Not the sleepy night. Night dreams. I, know you're saying, I even wrote in my notes, ffs. Cloughie. What? But maybe you'll just say it more precisely and neatly at that, saying, what are you talking about? Cluffy. And you would, and you could. No smoke without fire. Let's turn it onto ourselves, because that's what we're talking about today Let's turn it onto ourselves, because that's what we're going to be talking about today, turning this particular phrase onto our dreams and onto our issues. And how can we use it? Because I think it's great. Because, you see, before the flame, I think there always is just a little smoke. I can see when you're, when you're lighting a fire, yes, there's obviously the flame to start it, but it's only a tiny little flame on that kindle. And then it begins to smoke, and then the wind gets it, fans it, doesn't it? And then the flames come. And if it. If I'm totally wrong, I'm, not. Because this is my metaphor, okay? And in my metaphor, there's a little bit of smoke before it goes into a flame Every issue starts off small, and most of the time it does So having said that into my metaphor, what am I talking about? Well, I'm going to say the issues, they always start off small. Now, I, know that's a real generality, a big generality. Every issue starts off small, and most of the time it does. Okay? You might get a significant emotional event that really kicks off something, and we can deal with those. But I'm not talking about those type of ones. I'm talking the ones that just smolder. Or in another metaphor, like a little snowball. If you were at the top of a hill and you just got a little bit of snow, because there's snow on the hill, by the way, all the way down, and you made a little snowball, as big as your hand, and you put it at the top of the hill and you just tipped it. And because it's my metaphor, it begins to roll all by itself. And as it begins to roll slowly down that hill, it begins to gather more snow and gets bigger. And you don't really notice that it's getting bigger. but it just is because it's just picking up little bits as it goes along. I, know on this snowball, there's a lovely positive intention. I'll explain what I'm talking about in a minute because I know this is quite random, but the snowball just keeps doing the same thing, keeps picking up more and more, getting bigger and bigger. And you see that snowball, that's the start of the issue, by the way. Could be way, way back, way, way back to something so small that if you were to know about it now, you'd go, m, okay, I can see how that would have affected me or affected somebody else. If you were like a therapist and you're looking at somebody else's issue, yeah, that's a small thing, but if I was that age again, it would affect me the same. It would be not highly significant, but it would have had that effect. It would have had an effect on me where my unconscious mind would have said, oh, I didn't really like that feeling very much. So it's that type of. It's not hugely traumatic. It's just don't really like that. I'm going to do something for you. Positive intention. I want to keep you safe and away from those type of feelings. And that's what it does. And then as it rolls down the hill, it finds more events which are similar. So it generalizes itself into more areas of your life, trying to protect you, keeping you safe from that feeling. But now it's generalized it into different areas of your life, and it just keeps going. And every time something comes along which is similar, it triggers, it kicks it in. And sometimes you don't notice it until maybe now, or something is starting to get to you, and you start to say, well, I'm starting to feel anxious so much more often now, or every time I see that person, or every time I think about that particular thing. I never used to get this anxious. Oh, my confidence has gone now. Oh, No, I'm going to have to try to find an excuse. Oh, could I just put it off a little bit? What am I going to do? And then you start thinking, well, I've got to do it. And then to try to come up with the best solution, you think of all the things that could go wrong in an effort, unconsciously, to make you aware of all the things that could go wrong in every event. Then you get your overwhelm, and then you go, oh, no. Then you get panic at that. It just goes on, doesn't it? Say, can you see how that snowball just got bigger and bigger? But what would happen, do you think, if we could nip that smoke in the bud? Mixed metaphors. Good. We love mixed metaphors. But if you could nip that smoke in the bud, you can imagine. And, how do you do that? That's a learning thing. If you were to learn as soon as possible what your unconscious mind is trying to do, and then realize that it's no longer working, it's no longer appropriate. The behaviors, the thoughts, the emotions are no longer appropriate, and they're not really protecting you, you could come up with a different sequence, a different way to keep you safe. Yeah, you could, couldn't you? So how do we nip this smoke in the bud for me? You see, these are just simple little ways. And in simple, I'm going to say that really properly, in simplicity, there is genius. Because we don't have to go through all the high, convoluted, complicated ways which sometimes abound. This bloody industry. Sometimes it's just sitting down quietly and reviewing your week We pair it back to simples, and sometimes it's for me, and I guess it is for you, too. You could just review. What do you mean, Cloughie? Well, this is what I mean. Sometimes it's just sitting down quietly and you could do it daily. Oh, no, not this thing. You could ask me to write it down. Cloughie, maybe, maybe. But sometimes just review. How have I been behaving? How I've been thinking. I'd say this again, my words. How have I been talking to myself? And you see, once you realize that, because you could well be. You're having great times and this isn't. Issues can be good, by the way. We can have good issues and not so good issues. So the good issues, we want to keep that snowball running and getting bigger. And obviously, if they're negative issues, we want to stop it there and then. So we could just sit down, maybe sometimes just once a week, as we're doing our review of the week and looking for the next week, just sitting down and going, how am I happy the way I'm behaving? Because sometimes I'd go, and this is personal, I don't tell anybody, and I'm working on this. I used to get really angry about things. And the anger wouldn't just be in my head. It wouldn't be just the pictures I made. It wouldn't be just the words that I said to myself, maybe about myself or other people. They would come out, I'd express it, and I'd express it either verbally or nonverbally now, passive aggressive and all that shit. And if I didn't catch myself there and then. Because normally it's quite difficult, isn't it? When you're in the bottle, reading the label is bloody difficult. I love that little metaphor there. But when you're in that situation, it's very difficult to suddenly just stand aside and look at yourself and go, what a dick. But that's what I do when I review my week. I look at myself, how did I behave? How did I think? Cloughie, that was a dick move, really was. And if I think about it, and this is the thing, if it's a negative thing, well, it can be negative or positive because it's great to do this. What are the consequences? What were the consequences right then What are the consequences? We've talked about this before in that, anger, letting go of anger, dealing with anger. What are the consequences? What were the consequences right then? How did it affect other people? How did it affect myself? We don't have to go way into the future because we're going to nip it in the bud. Remember? Nip that flame in the bud. how would it affect. How did it affect other people? How did it affect myself? And be really honest, and when I call myself a dick, it's a nice little term of a thought, but I know I was being a dick, and I know I'm better than that, and I know the consequences that it had with other people, and I know if I really thought about it, but I'm not going to. If I carried on being like that, it's just going to get worse. And, when it gets worse, it's going to get worse for me, going to get worse for the other people in my life. And I don't want to think about those consequences because I'm going to nip this in the bud and I'll try to come up with a quick process. So maybe I would just begin to see. And there's a lovely NLP process, and it's like called dealing with criticism, but it's not because you're criticizing yourself, but effectively you are looking at, that memory that you have and just saying, well, if you take out all the emotion, what can I learn from this? How could I do it differently? How could I have done it differently? And then you go, well, I could have done this, this, and this. Okay, let's imagine that scene being that way. What emotion would I have had that would have been a better emotion? What behavior, if I used that behavior, would be a better behavior. What belief would be a better belief to have about myself and other people in that situation? And then just play it in your mind. Did I say that, correctly? Play it out in your mind, and it doesn't matter. As you know, if it's not 2020 vision, just be aware of how it could feel if you played it out differently. And then this or something better. Lovely little saying. And you do that a couple of times and you can make a few notes if you want. Yes, write that sucker down. Maybe you want to go to, you need a process, another process, a free hypnosis or NLP process. Where do you get those from? Cloughie? You ask as if you didn't know. Paulcluffonline.com podcast. And there's 60, I think there's 60 something, free hypnosis and LLP tracks. There's one there which would give you something to use. Basically, you go down that list, because I know any one of those would help you, but you go down that list and you go, ah, that one jumps out at me. Set your intention. I want to nip this flame in the bud. Press play. And notice how things change when you come out of that hypnosis. Or you finish that NLP process. And then what you do once you've done that. You email me feedback at personal developmentunplug.com and say, hey, Cloughie, this is what happened. It was awesome. It was brilliant. These are the things I changed that would be nicer. But if you could just email me your results or the things that you noticed, maybe just right after the hypnosis or maybe a few days after when you review how, you've been, I notice I've been so much different, a little bit different. And then we can work on that, because if you get good results on one of those processes, we can then share it with other people through another episode, maybe explain that process even more. I know it comes from, one of the previous podcasts, but we can go into it deep a bit more deeply, maybe m more differently. It'll always be different because I'm a different person now than I was back then when I did it. And your statements and your email will get me to think of it in a different way. So we could do that, couldn't we? The other thing you can do is think about others. How are they acting And all you could do now here's the other thing that's personal review. The other thing I wanted you to think about, and I've seen this so many times, is thinking about others. How are they acting? Because you won't be able to get in their head about what they believe and their emotions, and the positive intention and all that stuff, what they're going through. The only thing you can measure them on is their behavior, isn't it? So how are they behaving? Behaving, and that could be words, could be nonverbal, verbal tonation, the things that say, but just notice how, are they behaving? And if things are fine, absolutely fine and dandy, but if you notice something that isn't quite right, just a little bit, because we've all seen, I think, that people who have had suddenly, or their case is like suddenly they have a bad issue and things are bad for them. It didn't start that way, did it? It was that snowball slowly growing. So it started a long time ago, but now you're seeing the full effects of it. And I've seen it so many times that people say, well, I noticed a little about a year ago they were a little bit weird, and now they're really suffering. Well, if we could have nipped that flame in the bud a year ago by saying things like, hey, friend, how you really doing? Do you mind m me saying, and I'm going to be really brave here, that I don't think you're handling it handling things as well as you like. You don't look comfortable. Is there something I can help you with? Even if it's only an ear, I don't want to give you advice, so I'm not qualified. But if you just want an ear to verbalize, to speak, maybe you could say, well, listen to personal development, unplugged and things like that. But you'll have a whole array of the things that you know that have helped you. And I think that's the best type of advice you can give. Sometimes those people are not aware of the problems that you've encountered and the problems that you have got over. You have snipped and snubbed, snipped and snubbed, nipped that little smoke and flame in the bud. Because you can say, well, I notice you just not feel you're not looking and coming across comfortable. And, when I was feeling that something similar a couple of years ago, I remember it felt, and you just be very gent, be very genuine, describe how you felt. And this is what I did. And it did take a little bit of time, but I was so pleased that I did it because now I feel great. And just by saying and being a little bit, in the wonderful words of vulnerability, just being that little bit vulnerable because it's okay, you're okay now. You're just showing what can be done. And you're showing that you're kind and that kindness and that sharing. We're going to talk about sharing, not the sharing I'm going to talk about at the end, but, a different type of sharing in a minute. It will make such a difference. So you could put your story for them by nipping in the bud. I mean, I had loads of stuff that's happened to me, something that really took me well out of. Out of being a sensible person. And I did some stuff and, I will talk about it one day, but I did loads of stuff. And there was one thing that really helped me and I realized that my journaling is something similar by just talking to myself, but getting it out there. But I'll talk about that another day. But you can tell people your story by being kind. And I'm not putting off telling you about it, by the way. It's just that, time wouldn't allow us at the moment. So that's what you can do with issues. But you see, we've had, nip it, nub it in the bud. But now there's a thing I'd like to fan. What again? Clavy yeah. Ideas are like clouds floating by, so what do you do with them I'm now talking about the dreams bit. The dreams are goals. You see, I heard a lovely metaphor, and it was about how your ideas come. And it was explained or said that ideas are like a cloud or clouds floating by. Now, I'm here looking at that cloud from this place, and I see it in one plane, as it were. I see it in this, from this direction. But someone could be a few miles away, and they see in that cloud in a completely different way. And those ideas can be seen differently by anyone and everyone. And as you look at that cloud, that idea, that inspiration, suddenly it could inspire you. I just got this idea. I just got this thought. I don't know why. Whoo. Now, you see, if you don't do something about that, what happens to clouds? Well, they change, don't they? They either change in their shape and their size, or they just go back into that big bank of clouds, or they just bloody disappear, don't they? And isn't that like ideas? We get that little bit of inspiration. We get that thought of, oh, what if I did this? And then you go home, you get interrupted, interrupted by life, and then you sit down and you go, I wonder what that idea, what was it?...
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FMQ434 The Only Mind Hack That Works
03/06/2024
FMQ434 The Only Mind Hack That Works
The Only Mind Hack That Works The internet is full of quick fixes, one-step, get-it-quick BS and in my mind preying on the lazy. And I know we all get caught and end up disappointed. With that in mind, I do have the only fix (notice not necessarily quick), it's easy and it's hard, and over the next 5 minutes or so in this 5-minute quickie podcast, I will explain all. You will be amazed by the results and how consistent they are. The fact is it is so simple so press play and I'll begin. Please share: https://personaldevelopmentunplugged.com/fmq434-the-only-mind-hack-that-works Shine brightly Paul Please remember you can leave a comment or email me with questions, requests and feedback. If you have enjoyed this or any other episode please share and subscribe. Just email me If you want to subscribe to the podcast (I know you do) Remember for my specially designed programs for developing Supreme Inner Confidence, Free Your Life of Anxiety and specialize Hypnosis tracks go to If you want to access my FREE HYPNOSIS tracks go to Follow and inter-react on twitter @pcloughie I’m a therapist but not your therapist The information with this website or online work, techniques and exercises provided within these free and paid products are for educational purposes only. Do not use the techniques or exercises contained within some of these free or paid products whilst driving or operating machinery, or if you suffer from epilepsy, clinical depression or any other nervous or psychiatric conditions. The information provided is not a substitute for proper medical advice. If in doubt, please consult your doctor or licensed medical practitioner. Any decision you make having received any of Paul Clough's free or paid products are your own and you remain wholly responsible for any decisions and actions you take. Why not look for me and the podcast on AND the app Castbox I'm also in YouTube - copy n paste UC3BlpN4voq8aAN7ePsIMt2Q into search bar The Libsyn podcast page http://personaldevelomentunplugged.libsyn.com tunein, learnoutloud, Google Play Music Music by from , Music by from , Music by from , >, Music by from , Music by from ,
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#380 Modeling Role Models
03/02/2024
#380 Modeling Role Models
Modeling Role Models Can we learn from role models? Maybe if we have a BS monitor :O) What do I mean by that? Well, some people have acquired and learned skills that we can learn from by modeling them, what they do, and how they do their stuff. Others pretend, with their shiny showreels on social media and even believe their own hype and we need to be careful whose skills we choose to emulate. Notice I said skills and not the person, we can never be another person, and nor should we, being the unique person you are. So let's take away the term role models and replace it with skills we would like to learn from people who have these skills already. It becomes the quickest way to learn as you don't have to learn from their mistakes. The easiest way is to pick one skill at a time, more than that it becomes overwhelming - you'd be surprised how much detail is in each. KISS Now this is a podcast so no more writing it's time to dive in to find the how-to's and press play Then, being kind, please share, here's a link if you need it: Shine brightly Paul Please remember you can leave a comment or email me with questions, requests and feedback. If you have enjoyed this or any other episode please share and subscribe. Just email me If you want to subscribe to the podcast (I know you do) Remember for my specially designed programs for developing Supreme Inner Confidence, Free Your Life of Anxiety and specialize Hypnosis tracks go to If you want to access my FREE HYPNOSIS tracks go to Follow and inter-react on twitter @pcloughie I’m a therapist but not your therapist The information with this website or online work, techniques and exercises provided within these free and paid products are for educational purposes only. Do not use the techniques or exercises contained within some of these free or paid products whilst driving or operating machinery, or if you suffer from epilepsy, clinical depression or any other nervous or psychiatric conditions. The information provided is not a substitute for proper medical advice. If in doubt, please consult your doctor or licensed medical practitioner. Any decision you make having received any of Paul Clough's free or paid products are your own and you remain wholly responsible for any decisions and actions you take. Why not look for me and the podcast on AND the app Castbox I'm also in YouTube - copy n paste UC3BlpN4voq8aAN7ePsIMt2Q into search bar The Libsyn podcast page http://personaldevelomentunplugged.libsyn.com tunein, learnoutloud, Google Play Music Music by from , Music by from , Music by from , >, Music by from , Music by from , And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism This longer podcast is all about role models. Get specific and get really inspired Can anyone be a true role model? I was thinking about role models But that's not why I'm telling you that, because I want to talk about role models. Role models. I mean, do you have role models? And I think we do. But also I think we can get a little bit fixated on them. They become the be all and end all of our goal. And you see, I was thinking about this questioning, can anyone be a true role model? Because even when you think about it, I won't call them failures, but they are failures. We all have our things, which aren't so good, things we need to work on. And they, like us, like me, have to work on their bits. But whether they put themselves up as a role model or whether we don't like the word society, but they're put up as a role model, they come up on YouTube, they come up on Instagram, all that stuff. And after a while they, unbeknowing maybe become a role model with all their flaws. Flaws is a better way. Not failures, flaws. Because we're just human. And a lot of those people talk about being vulnerable. It's so good to be vulnerable. But yet on the reels that we see, they are the least vulnerable person. In fact, they to me, sometimes give off the air that they are, ah, living a perfect life for some. Maybe I'm just seeing it through a different filter, I don't know. Because we see so many people with their show reels shiny, perfect. We've all seen them, haven't we? if you looked at my videos, you'll notice that they're not shiny, they're not show. And they're certainly not perfect. That's not their fault. Well, the majority there is going to be one or two that, to push it too far, do it for their own ends, as it were. But the thing is, what I also thought about this is maybe we're putting them up as role models and they never wanted to be. They're just doing their best job. They're putting up something for us to learn. And for me, this is the way I see it. The ones that I look up to aspire to be, maybe aspire to take on not to be like that, to be them, but to learn their skills. Because they can be both in some ways both inspiring and also down putting. Because it's a show reel and you can get the reverse effect. I guess I want to be just like that. But look at me now. I'll never be able to be like that. And it's then reinforcing those negative, limiting beliefs. I'm not good enough because I can never be good enough, can never be like that. But it's a show reel. You never see all the years that's gone into it. Certainly the ones that I'm thinking of, because I think they are genuine people, they've just been put up there. so it's not them wanting to be m a role model. They're just shining what they've learned, shining the light, ah. Of what they've learned to guide other people. And I think when I look at it that way, I got to use a different filter. I think that's the difference. We have to have a filter, a BS filter. So you see, I don't want to imitate. This is, me talking about me again. I don't want to imitate, but coming through NLP, neurolinguistic programming, I do want to be able to model, you see, I want to because when you model somebody, you model what they are good at. Obviously, you don't model the stuff that they're not. So if we can model what they are really good at, how they are thinking, maybe we can get to the pictures in their minds, but we can certainly get some glimpses of them. So it's not imitation. In some ways it. Maybe it is, but it's not imitation for imitating to be like them. It is try to find the skills and how we can adapt them. Adapt them in our own way. So I say how we do that. Well, you need that filter first, the Bs filter. And once we've cleared those people away, we can then look at what is it about them that inspires us? Model people you aspire to be like or have skills you would aspire to learn I want you to think back. Think back to the people that maybe the word role models is not a good description. Cloughy people you aspire to be like or have the skills you would aspire to learn. what are the things that inspire them or inspire you to be like that? Maybe it's their confidence. And I know we're seeing the show reel, but if you look at certainly the people I'm following, I'm noticing some of their videos are lectures. So it's not a show reel if they've not edited it. they are giving a talk, they are trying to share what they know and then you can pick up, well, they have this air of confidence, the way they move their body. Maybe I could learn and try that on. Because when you're modeling, you're trying things on and seeing how you can adapt it to yourself, or maybe adapt what you do into something like that and notice, is it their voice, is it the way they can just pause? For me, and these are my things, I think I'm guessing how people can pause and just suddenly come out with the right words to be able to communicate in such a precise way. To me, that's awe inspiring and it is inspiring. Their use of language. Maybe it's a tone they use. Maybe. I always love it when you can see people who just laugh, laugh at themselves, laugh with other people. To me, when you can be like that, that is true confidence in yourself, that is being vulnerable in the. I think the nice way you're showing, we say show up and show your true self, but actually showing your own qualities. Now, whether you like them or not, it doesn't matter, not to them, because they're saying, this is me, like me or not. And I think that's a great bit of inner confidence you could have. Maybe they are demonstrating skills, skills that you would like to learn. But the thing about this is, you can see, I've been pretty specific about the type of confidence, the use of language, those pauses, the way they talk, walk. But you have to get specific, I think, because you're not going to be able to learn the whole myriad because it's too big and it's too general. So it's about, I think, looking at the people you would like to be more like in their skill set and pick one particular skill and work on that. Because once you get that, you can then maybe build on from that about them building on another aspect of their skills or somebody else and put them together. Because this is all about you, not them. And because it's about you, I don't know, people say, oh, it's all about you, but it is all about you, not them. It's about how you can be inspired to learn. And then as you review what you've learned and notice the effects, did it make your life better? Did it make it worse? And of course, one thing we have to remember is it's going to be bloody awkward when we start because it's not going to be, oh, I'll just do it this way. Because you're going against, I guess, your learnt behaviors, your own habits. But I think your unconscious mind, once it understands how important it is for you, how valuable it's ah, a value to you and it will make you a more comfortable person. I don't want to call it a better person, but you'll be improving your skills and it's your skills you're improving, becoming that better version of yourselves, expanding, evolving that version of yourself into what you're truly here for. I know that's a bit woo woo lala maybe, but that's what you're here for, to create something, I believe to create something special. And it doesn't have to be the biggest, biggest thing in the world, but you can just leave little golden nuggets around, do little kind acts, things like that. But when you do it from your confidence, you show people, you show people what can be done. And I think sometimes instead of just looking at one person, you take two or three in that genre. So you're starting in a database, they're all doing the same type of thing in that one skill set. now I'm getting. So it's a general skill in a specific area. I could learn that. And now you're building not just from one person, you are building your own skill set by really modeling a whole genre of that skill set. NLP modeling is really getting into a specific person to find out beliefs So I wonder how many people, first of all, if you would, because it's a personal development podcast, begin to think of the type of skills you would like to learn from other people. Now, ideally it would be someone you could talk to and ask them exactly what you do. The NLP modeling is really getting into a specific person to find out their thoughts, their beliefs, the pictures they make in their mind, the sequence they put those things into their minds and how they talk to themselves. But that's not always the case. You've got that ability, not the ability, you haven't got the. I don't know what I'm going to talk about now. You haven't got that facility of being able to talk to that person. So we're going to use things like YouTube, we're going to use things like podcasts, because you can learn so much. You can use things as books as well because people will explain what they're thinking and then you can model the little significant parts of their thinking. So I wonder if you could just, first of all, maybe just instead of thinking about the people you want to model is what are the things you would like to model? So what specific skills would you like to improve upon or learn newly? Maybe, just let them roll onto a paper, a piece of paper, because once you start getting them on paper, you always know, write that sucker down. It will then, I think, be able to intuit that, the word intuit, be intuitive about other things and other thoughts will come into your mind, which you can slam on that piece of paper. And now you're building up and go, they're all those skills, which one is the most useful to me? In fact, they're all maybe leading you into a one direction of a particular skill. And then you can see, well, how would that affect my life if I learned that skill or if I just got, I have that skill, but I want to get better at it, how would that improve my life? Maybe it'd be my career, maybe it'd be the way I socialize with people, maybe with myself, maybe with my partner, my best friend, significant other, all that stuff. And when you get that, then you can go, okay, where can I find that information? Because now you know how important it is to you because you need to know the effect that it will have on your life. Start that way. And then you understand, ah, it's going to be of value to me. And then get the belief, well, I'm going to do this. That's the only belief you need. I'm going to do this. So now it becomes at the highest level, it's an identity belief, because I'm going to do this, I can do this and, it's a value to you. So beliefs and value are the highest part of the pyramid apart from your identity, but they're linked to your identity. So now you can start looking around, you can start finding that set of people. Maybe this is only one person. You go, that is the one skill, that's it. But maybe there's more. You get a database, or maybe you look around and go, actually, out of all these people, this is the guy who does it best and this is a woman who does it best. I don't know how. you know what I mean? And then you can start studying and looking for that one skill. If you try to do it all, tell you now, it'll blow your mind because they're too big. But you do that one skill, and then you find another and then another, and you begin to act as if. Now, how do you start to act as if? Because I'm going to give you a quick how to in there. You see, what you can do is some people would say, well, just imagine yourself doing it. And you go, I can't do that. I can't just imagine myself doing that. Some people can. But here's an easy way to do it, because we like easy. We like simples. And just because it's simple and it's easy doesn't mean to say you don't have to do the work. You don't have to put the effort in because you do. So you have to put time aside. How long? It's minutes, maybe a minute or so to start off with. But here's how you do it. Are you ready? Now I'm going to tell you how to do it, because you don't have to do it now, because maybe you have to do that work first. But here's how you would do it. Or you could, you begin to notice, say, have either movie screen or just see that person out in front of you, the person you're going to model doing the thing, and you see them doing it. So in effect, you are replaying that video that you've watched on maybe YouTube, or you're imagining seeing them talk if you've heard it on a podcast or in a book. But you can imagine them doing that thing that you want to model because it's important to you. I know it'll happen. And as you imagine seeing that other movie or just seeing that person just suspended out there in space doing that thing that you want to model. And then as you do that, begin to allow it to morph into you. So over a period of 1015 seconds, the picture in your mind, that picture of that you over there, or that them over there, slowly morphs into you over there, and you can begin to see you doing the very same thing. That's right. Now, you could just practice that to start off with, just practice seeing it morphing into you. And then as you get better at it, and it doesn't have to be 2020 vision, for goodness sake, you know that. All you need to do is practice. And it's an awareness as long as you can get an awareness that's that it's morphing into you and you get to understand it, you can then begin to maybe just flow out of your body into that. You over there, having morphed it into you, morphed them into you. You flow into you looking through your own eyes, seeing what you'll see when you're like that, hearing what you'll hear when you like that. And feel, feel the emotions, feel the physicality of it. And then as you come back into you, because all you always have to come back into you, you can then begin to know how to act as if, and if you've got notes of the things you're going to practice, that one little thing you can know, no, you can now start doing it because you're acting as if you've got it already. And yeah, it'll be clunky. Don't think that, oh, I'll be perfect every time because they've done it, they've evolved into that person. But you can learn that skill so much quicker now. It may have taken them ten years to evolve into that skill or evolve that skill into the thing you see now. You can do that in hours, minutes, and then you can start to think. I want you to think of two things when you do that. And you start to act as if you start learning. You actually start seeing. You're reviewing what you've done. Yeah, it's making a difference. You've got two things you can do. What other things can I learn? What other skills can I start to evolve inside me? But also, how can I be a model, a role model, as it were, for that skill? Now, you could share it. You could share how you did it, what you do, what you've learned. You can inspire others by being an example of what can be done That's great to do, because when you do that, you become the author of it. You're the teacher of your own skill. And when you do that, you're learning twice as fast, twice as m, more in depth as it were. When you verbalize it to other people or you just write it down for yourself, you're learning it at a much more detailed, specific level. And that's awesome. But you can also do it by action, being the person you want to be wonderful, but also, inspiring others, others by being that example of what can be done. Because they saw you, what you used to be like, they're seeing what you are now and you go, wow. Even if they didn't even know what you were like, they're looking at you and going, that's a lovely skill to have. I could emulate that because you can inspire people just with the things that you do. And it's in that sharing that makes a difference. Now you know where I'm going to come with this or go with this. It's that sharing that makes a difference. Have you ever shared this podcast? If you have, absolutely So, to you. That's right. You. Have you shared a question to you. Have you ever shared this podcast? If you have, absolutely. Bloody awesome. Thank you so much. Would you do it again? And if you haven't shared it, why? No, I won't say why not? Would you, please? It would be lovely if you did, because it's going to. Yes. More people get to listen to it. It makes me feel better when I see the downloads. Yeah, of course it does. I have a little bit of ego in there. Of course it does. But also, I know that more people will be infected and affected by what we're sharing because I believe it's all good stuff. Some of it will really ring home, really resonate with people, with yourself, and then make a difference. So it just makes a difference to one person. Game over. It'd be brilliant. So if you would share, and you also know that, you always get those free hypnosis tracks, paulcloughonline.com podcast, all that stuff. So please feel free to dive in and get all the free stuff you can. When you do that, you'll also get an email and ah, a newsletter, a monthly...
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FMQ 433 Performing At Your Best
02/28/2024
FMQ 433 Performing At Your Best
Performing At Your Best Have you ever performed at your best? And have you ever not? A 5-minute muse on the need to be perfect and never really feel like you are or have performed at your best. And then there's the thing that we can always do better but did you do your best right then? I don't think we look at our performance in this way and if we did how can we keep getting better? I'll also share a way to feel stupidly GOOD and so much more! :O) And all in around five minutes. Please share: And the YouTube video of this episode: Shine brightly Paul Please remember you can leave a comment or email me with questions, requests and feedback. If you have enjoyed this or any other episode please share and subscribe. Just email me If you want to subscribe to the podcast (I know you do) Remember for my specially designed programs for developing Supreme Inner Confidence, Free Your Life of Anxiety and specialize Hypnosis tracks go to If you want to access my FREE HYPNOSIS tracks go to Follow and inter-react on twitter @pcloughie I’m a therapist but not your therapist The information with this website or online work, techniques and exercises provided within these free and paid products are for educational purposes only. Do not use the techniques or exercises contained within some of these free or paid products whilst driving or operating machinery, or if you suffer from epilepsy, clinical depression or any other nervous or psychiatric conditions. The information provided is not a substitute for proper medical advice. If in doubt, please consult your doctor or licensed medical practitioner. Any decision you make having received any of Paul Clough's free or paid products are your own and you remain wholly responsible for any decisions and actions you take. Why not look for me and the podcast on AND the app Castbox I'm also in YouTube - copy n paste UC3BlpN4voq8aAN7ePsIMt2Q into search bar The Libsyn podcast page http://personaldevelomentunplugged.libsyn.com tunein, learnoutloud, Google Play Music Music by from , Music by from , Music by from , >, Music by from , Music by from ,
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#379 Karen Newell - Sacred Acoustics To Reduce Anxiety
02/24/2024
#379 Karen Newell - Sacred Acoustics To Reduce Anxiety
Karen Newell Sacred Acoustics To Reduce Anxiety So pleased to have another sharer willing to walk the walk - Karen is an author and specialist in personal development with a diverse body of work that rests upon the foundation of spiritually transformative experiences. As an innovator in the emerging field of brainwave entrainment audio meditation, Karen empowers others in their journeys of self-discovery. Using Sacred Acoustics recordings and other techniques, she teaches how to engage with your inner world to connect to guidance, achieve inspiration, improve wellness, and develop intuition. In this recording, Karen shares tools to help reduce anxiety and explains how binaural beats can assist in quieting the mind Please share this episode so others can also get the benefit: Please visit Karens website and find all her contact details - Plus you can download a free recording of Karen's at or email her . Shine brightly Paul Please remember you can leave a comment or email me with questions, requests and feedback. If you have enjoyed this or any other episode please share and subscribe. Just email me If you want to subscribe to the podcast (I know you do) Remember for my specially designed programs for developing Supreme Inner Confidence, Free Your Life of Anxiety and specialize Hypnosis tracks go to If you want to access my FREE HYPNOSIS tracks go to Follow and inter-react on twitter @pcloughie I’m a therapist but not your therapist The information with this website or online work, techniques and exercises provided within these free and paid products are for educational purposes only. Do not use the techniques or exercises contained within some of these free or paid products whilst driving or operating machinery, or if you suffer from epilepsy, clinical depression or any other nervous or psychiatric conditions. The information provided is not a substitute for proper medical advice. If in doubt, please consult your doctor or licensed medical practitioner. Any decision you make having received any of Paul Clough's free or paid products are your own and you remain wholly responsible for any decisions and actions you take. Why not look for me and the podcast on AND the app Castbox I'm also in YouTube - copy n paste UC3BlpN4voq8aAN7ePsIMt2Q into search bar The Libsyn podcast page http://personaldevelomentunplugged.libsyn.com tunein, learnoutloud, Google Play Music Music by from , Music by from , Music by from , >, Music by from , Music by from , And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism This is a longer podcast with a guest from Sacred Acoustics Hey, here's your heads up to this longer podcast. We have a guest, Karen Newell, from sacred Acoustics, and she's going to show us the benefits of sound through meditation, how we can quieten the mind and help clear anxiety. Now, that's got to be a good thing, so please do listen. Warning, warning, warning, warning. You are entering into the unplugged mind of Paul Clough clove. Too late. Personal development unplugged. Hey. Yes, that's right. Clapping. Clapping. Why are we clapping? Karen Newell is an expert in entrainment and meditation Well, we have another guest. Another guest who's going to come and do a little talk for us. Her name is Karen, Karen Newell, and she is the co founder of Sacred Acoustics. She's also an author and a specialist in personal development with a diverse body of work that rests upon the foundation of spirituality, transformative experience. Hey, how's that? Her personal growth programs, workshops, guided meditations and teachings enable individuals to achieve life transformations towards a greater fulfillment or self fulfillment and contentment. She is an innovator in the emerging field of brainwave entrainment. That's a word. Entrainment and meditation. And Karen is going to. There'll be the rest of the bio, by the way, on the website, but Karen is going to talk to us about how the tools, tools for help, for anxiety, mental health, and slowing down those racing thoughts that anxiety gives us. And you see, meditations we all know have proven to reduce anxiety. And it's by using binour, I can't even say the word bino. Binourial, binourial, binaural beats explaining, how these beats, because I can't say binourial can quieten the mind just by quieting the. I can't get this right. By quieting the mind, you can now begin to clear or certainly reduce the level of anxiety. And she's going to share a few ways how to use these beats by no meal. I can't say the blooming thing beats to quieten the mind and then how holding a wonderful feeling in our heart will help reduce anxiety, which obviously helps us and those around us and the effects of that. And she goes into a, lot of data to prove that things she does really work. Now, I know, or you know that I know. I love things that are going to help reduce our anxiety, because maybe it does clear anxiety completely. But also I do know that if you can reduce the anxiety that you're feeling, it gives you the opportunity to then look for that root cause, maybe, and deal with it. Because when we're in a full blooded anxiety attack, then we're in the bottle. We can't read the label. We can't take a different perspective on, what's causing that anxiety to deal with the cause. Because, you know, that's where I come from, dealing with the cause, therefore, letting go of the effect, which anxiety is an effect. Anxiety leads to fear and things like that. So anything that can reduce the effect has to be a win, has to be a bonus. And, Karen will go through that with you. Personal development unplugged podcast welcomes Karen Newell So, whilst we're on the same page, we're coming from different directions, as usual, which is why I love to have people on the personal development unplugged podcast to show a diversity. What a word, eh? Used so many different ways, but it's done, in such a nice way. Someone wanting to share their thoughts, share their experiences. And we all know I've been talking about it long enough, when you share something, you get to keep it yourself, and other people get it, too. And she's also going to share a little free audio, and she'll go through that. But also, I just wanted. I found one of my other notes, and this is where we also gel so closely. It's using feelings of gratitude, and Karen will go through that, too, in this short little recording. So give that big, warm welcome to Karen Newell. Over to you, Karen. Karen Newell says meditation can help improve mental health Hello, I'm Karen Newell, co founder of Sacred Acoustics and co author of living in a mindful universe. And mental health seems to be a rather popular topic for people to talk about these days. It used to be a little bit taboo. Nobody wanted to admit that they had any mental health problems. It was kind of seen as something not to be discussed, kept behind closed doors. And thanks to a lot of, popular athletes and celebrities and other types of things, mental health has become a topic that is perfectly fine to discuss. And this is something that is very needed in our world today, because, especially anxiety seems to be rampant in our world. It, really became to be noticeable when the world entered into that shutdown because of the COVID pandemic several years ago, back in 2020. And lots of people were looking for tools on how to manage their mental health. Now, meditation is one of those tools, and meditation has been studied for several decades. It's something that's very common in eastern traditions. And it was actually the Dalai Lama who sort of spurred interest in the western world for studying meditation. And so academic institutions have discovered that meditation plays an incredibly helpful role in our physical, health and our mental health. And it can provide lots and lots of benefits. Unfortunately, for many of us in this western world, meditation is very challenging, and that's because we're used to always being active. And meditation is about sitting quietly, developing an inner focus and maintaining that focus on only one thing. And when most of us sit down to meditate, very often what we find in our inner world is that racing thoughts are constantly going and it's not quiet at all. And so we try to meditate and it just becomes more and more difficult. I know for me that was the case. I had learned about all the wonderful benefits of meditation. And then when I tried to do it, it was really hard. And I would sit quietly. I, would set the alarm for ten minutes, and it would seem like an eternity would go by before I could finish, my meditation. So it was really quite a chore and not something that I look forward to. And so I stopped doing it. I stopped and started. I kept hearing about it. And it was a particular quality of sound that really was a turning point for me. And at first it was things like gongs, tuning forks, brass bowls, crystal bowls. Some of you may be familiar with what those sound like, but usually it's sort of a monotonous kind of wavering sound wa like that, just going on and on. And usually there's lots of all of these beautiful overtones, higher frequencies, just amazing to listen to. And it really was able to capture my attention. And so I learned, wow, no wonder people use crystal bowls and brass bowls to help with meditation. And I eventually discovered a very specific type of sound known as binaural beats. And this is created using modern, software. It doesn't come from an instrument, but they're created using different, ah, sets of frequencies. So when you have one frequency in the left ear, a slightly different frequency in the right ear, what you hear, what your brain interprets that to be is a wavering sound wa very similar to what those brass bowls and gongs are emitting. And isn't it interesting, when you analyze the sound coming out of a brass bowl, a crystal bowl and so on, you'll find there's natural binaural beats in there. And so it's no wonder that recordings that, create these binaural beats, more precisely, can be very effective at quieting the mind. And I'm going to tell you why. And that is because these frequencies, like I said, you put one frequency in the left ear, a slightly different frequency in the right ear. It's the difference between those two frequencies that creates the, binaural beat. And so the difference between these two frequencies is associated with different brainwave states. So when a brain is measured using an EEG that's measuring an electric signal that's being put out by the brain in different states, we find that, zero to 4 what's emitted when someone's in the delta state. Delta is associated with sleep. Now, four to 7 associated with the theta state. And that's the state that we're in when we're in meditation or maybe a very deep kind of flow state. alpha is seven to 12. That's associated with focus, concentration, deep relaxation, but not as deep, quite as theta and beta. That's twelve to 30 hz. That's the state when we're in, when we're talking, when we're walking, when we're interacting with others. That's the state when we're often in when we sit down to try to meditate. And so it's no wonder that that beta mind keeps on putting out all of these, hopefully interesting thoughts, but usually they're just distracting and, we'd like them to quiet down. And so using these binaural beats, you can reduce that, mental activity from the beta state closer down into the alpha, theta and delta states. Binaural beats can help with anxiety, depression and other mental health issues Now, binaural beats can also be used to help people sleep. And so in that case, you would want to be listening to delta frequencies. But many of us, we want to reach that kind of deep meditative state. That's what can really help with anxiety, depression and other types of mental health issues. and so when you listen to these recordings, you're actually helping get your mind from a beta brainwave state into a theta. That state between awaken, asleep, between delta and theta is what we're looking for. That's the sweet spot. And, on sacredacoustics.com, that's the company I'm, co founder of. We create all kinds of different binaural beat recordings for different purposes. And it was the whole mind bundle. That's a collection of recordings including whole delta, whole theta and whole alpha. That whole mind bundle was used in a pilot study. We were fortunate for a psychiatrist in a busy Manhattan practice, to prescribe these recordings to her patients. She prescribed these recordings that are part of the whole mind bundle. And the same listening protocols that her patients were given are also available on sacredacoustics.com. When you acquire the homemind bundle. But when patients started listening to this, they were, guided to find the best time of day that worked for them to listen to different recordings based on their personal goals in the delta theta and alpha ranges. And what they found was after two weeks of regular listening, they found a 26% reduction in anxiety. Now, the control group were Dr. Usum's other psychiatric patients who were getting regular therapy, but who did not begin listening to these types of recordings. And they noticed in the same period of time, a 7% reduction in anxiety. So that's quite a big difference. Just by adding these recordings to their daily routine, they found a much larger decrease in anxiety. And so this is very useful meditation, which can be so challenging. These recordings help bring your brain into that meditative state without quite as much concern, and trouble. And many of us, when we try to meditate and we're unsuccessful, that just seems to create more anxiety. So finding tools that can help us are very useful. we don't need to just use one technique. We recommend that people try different techniques and find a combination of techniques that works best for you. We're all unique, and so we're not all going to benefit the same way from different styles of meditation. And so there's many types of meditation out there. Some involve chanting, some involve movement, some involve different body positions or mudras where you hold your fingers in certain ways. All of that is available for people to explore with. And the sky's the limit here on, the different types of techniques that you can combine to find what works best for you. I know for me, I found a form of sufi heart rhythm meditation to be quite useful and in combination with the sound and that involved, matching m your breath to, your actual heartbeat. So, say you would count four heartbeats of breathing as opposed to four breaths. And just that extra awareness on the heart was incredibly useful at removing me from that busy thinking mind. And so sound is very useful. Attention to the heart is very useful. One of the, most basic techniques that I often share is to imagine that your breath is moving in and out of your heart. And so it's actually still moving out of your nose and through your mouth. But just imagine, use your imagination and tell yourself, no, it's moving in and out of my heart. And you can expand that into all kinds of interesting types of experiences by imagining that your breath is moving around your body in different ways. For example, you can imagine that your breath is being released to the left side and being, inhale from the right side, exhale to the left side. my favorite one is to exhale out into a circle, a sphere or a bubble that is surrounding your entire body. And then when you inhale, all of that comes back to you, back into your heart. And so you can breathe your heart energy in and out of this bubble that surrounds your entire body. And this is not just imagination, because heartmath institute in northern California, who has been studying the heart for decades, tell us that the heart emits an electromagnetic field, and it expands and contracts around your body just like I described. And, the expansion and contraction is based on your emotional state. So if you're in a very joyful, kind, compassionate kind of state, your electromagnetic field of your heart will be much larger. If you're in more of a, sad or depressed or anxious, upset about something, then you have a much smaller heart field. And so it's expanding and contracting around our bodies, whether we realize it or not. And the beautiful thing is that it seems to affect the people around us. And so we all know what it's like to be with one of those joyful people. It seems we can really sense or feel or resonate with that person's heart energy. And then, of course, we know what it's like to be around people that kind of make us uncomfortable, where maybe there's less resonance between our heart and their heart. And so I feel as though this is something that all of us can really take to heart, literally speaking, is to be aware that this is how our hearts are functioning. And if each of us can take the time to clear any anxieties, unprocessed emotions, anything that we're holding in our heart that's not beneficial or helpful to ourselves and to those around us, when we take the time to clear all of that, it's not only helping yourself, it's helping all those around you. And that's another thing that these binaural beat audio recordings are useful for some people. When they listen to these recordings, they will find that they get emotional and they won't necessarily understand why. but the idea there is to allow whatever emotion pops up in that moment, just imagine that it's being released. It's coming up because it wants your attention. And now you can allow it to release. And like layers of an onion, over time, you can peel back all of these sort of unprocessed emotional traumas from your life. And as you do this, you'll find that your heart, rather than holding on to those hurts that weren't properly processed, it gets replaced. It gets replaced with something else. And that is the essence of who you truly are. Another heart exercise that's very useful is to generate feelings of gratitude And another heart exercise that's very useful, that really is just critical to any of this, is to generate feelings of gratitude in the heart. And this isn't thinking of things to be grateful for. This is feeling gratitude. And so this can be very challenging. I know it was for me. And over time, it took the kind of act of recalling events from my past that made me feel joyful. And for me, that memory eventually settled, on puppies. I was enamored with puppies when I was a child. I still love dogs to this day. And imagining being with these puppies or dogs is what got that first spark of gratitude to be felt in my heart. And the more any of us can take the time to generate just simple feelings of gratitude, imagine that those feelings of gratitude are residing in your heart. And knowing how the heart function works, it's actually expanding and contracting and sharing that gratitude with the world around you. And so knowing how all of this works can be very useful. And if anyone wants to learn more about sacred acoustics, we have a website, sacredacoustics.com. You can go there and enter your email address, and we'll send you a free 20 minutes recording. Some people, this is the only recording they ever use as part of their practice. This recording is, some people's favorite, and so we hope that you'll be able to use that to determine if binaural beats would be helpful to you in your daily practice. And then also look for the whole mind bundle. Again, that's the set of recordings that was used in the pilot study showing a reduction in anxiety after two weeks of listening. These recordings were made available at the beginning of, 2020, when the first shutdowns of the pandemic first started...
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FMQ 432 Getting our feet wet and expecting something different
02/21/2024
FMQ 432 Getting our feet wet and expecting something different
Getting our feet wet and expecting something different From a recent experience of a client worrying that they didn't feel the same as the last session - why was that? That made me think, why would anything we feel be exactly the same as before and let our expectations guide our judgments? Have you had something similar? Let's muse for 5 minutes and see what we can learn forthe future and come and get your feet wet again. You will have to press play if you want to know what I'm talking about - It's a podcast remember? Please share And remember you can also watch this on video: Shine brightly Paul Please remember you can leave a comment or email me with questions, requests and feedback. If you have enjoyed this or any other episode please share and subscribe. Just email me If you want to subscribe to the podcast (I know you do) Remember for my specially designed programs for developing Supreme Inner Confidence, Free Your Life of Anxiety and specialize Hypnosis tracks go to If you want to access my FREE HYPNOSIS tracks go to Follow and inter-react on twitter @pcloughie I’m a therapist but not your therapist The information with this website or online work, techniques and exercises provided within these free and paid products are for educational purposes only. Do not use the techniques or exercises contained within some of these free or paid products whilst driving or operating machinery, or if you suffer from epilepsy, clinical depression or any other nervous or psychiatric conditions. The information provided is not a substitute for proper medical advice. If in doubt, please consult your doctor or licensed medical practitioner. Any decision you make having received any of Paul Clough's free or paid products are your own and you remain wholly responsible for any decisions and actions you take. Why not look for me and the podcast on AND the app Castbox I'm also in YouTube - copy n paste UC3BlpN4voq8aAN7ePsIMt2Q into search bar The Libsyn podcast page http://personaldevelomentunplugged.libsyn.com tunein, learnoutloud, Google Play Music Music by from , Music by from , Music by from , >, Music by from , Music by from ,
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#378 A Slap In The Face
02/17/2024
#378 A Slap In The Face
A Slap In The Face A metaphorical one in the kisser! Now this episode is personal and a little embarrassing being not what you know but doing what you know or not doing. It will make sense :O) We all know the saying "First things first" don't we? Again we are getting into that realm of knowing and doing or in this case ........... As you know, if you're a regular listener, I have talked in the past about wheels and spokes, buckets, and all things about what our lives and personal development are made up of. Well I was getting more frustrated and demotivated the more I looked at my 'stuff' and then it came The Slap! The one in the kisser! And now I understand and am on my way again. Want to know more? You will have to press play - IT'S A PODCAST!!!!!! When you do please share this with a few deserving people Shine brightly Paul Please remember you can leave a comment or email me with questions, requests and feedback. If you have enjoyed this or any other episode please share and subscribe. Just email me If you want to subscribe to the podcast (I know you do) Remember for my specially designed programs for developing Supreme Inner Confidence, Free Your Life of Anxiety and specialize Hypnosis tracks go to If you want to access my FREE HYPNOSIS tracks go to Follow and inter-react on twitter @pcloughie I’m a therapist but not your therapist The information with this website or online work, techniques and exercises provided within these free and paid products are for educational purposes only. Do not use the techniques or exercises contained within some of these free or paid products whilst driving or operating machinery, or if you suffer from epilepsy, clinical depression or any other nervous or psychiatric conditions. The information provided is not a substitute for proper medical advice. If in doubt, please consult your doctor or licensed medical practitioner. Any decision you make having received any of Paul Clough's free or paid products are your own and you remain wholly responsible for any decisions and actions you take. Why not look for me and the podcast on AND the app Castbox I'm also in YouTube - copy n paste UC3BlpN4voq8aAN7ePsIMt2Q into search bar The Libsyn podcast page http://personaldevelomentunplugged.libsyn.com tunein, learnoutloud, Google Play Music Music by from , Music by from , Music by from , Music by from , Music by from , And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism Here's your heads up to this longer podcast, the metaphorical. Metaphorical, metaphorical slap in the face. Learning about something and where we're headed. The ultimate vision of who we really want to be. We strive to be. We're inspired to be. That's where we're going. Something I learned about myself. Bit embarrassing, but hey, ho, that's what we're going to do, and we're going to dive straight in. No introduction about the personal development unplugged podcast No introduction about the personal development unplugged podcast. You know it. And if you don't, I'm sure you'll find out. Okay, have a listen. It's more interesting to listen than my introduction. Okay, have a listen right now. Personal. Personal develop. Personal developer. well, a slap in the face. A slap in the face. There's a title for you, and it wasn't a literal slap in the face, although it did feel like a little bit. It's some metaphorical slap in the face that I got from me. I slapped myself in the face. When you go out to make improvements, you can't not make an. Improvement, can you So let's do first things first, because. We don't always do that, do we? And that's how I found out the hard way. So this is a personal sharing, as it were. I like to share personal stuff. Don't tell anybody about this because it's personal me to you, and it's embarrassing. It's em barassing to me because it shows. And showed me this wasn't the slap in the face, but it could have been. It's not what you know, it's doing what you know that counts. And here's sort, of an example. Way back in February 2019, four years. Ago,and in my notes, I swore, swore to myself, two episodes, hashtag one. Two, three and one, two, four. Wheels and buckets, and they're all about what you want to do with your life. Diffeent buckets for different areas of your life. Wheels, different. They're all the same theme. Every wheel was a different area of my life. So I'm going to have to do another one. I think I'm going to have to do another one on that because put it all together. So embarrassingly, and this. Is the embarrassing part I've been working. On myself, just like you. I don't stop. I know I've got things that I need to change, and we can. And every time we grow, we grow, and there's other things we can add to it. We've got new experiences, new learning, so we can keep making those improvements. And I have made improvements. You see, when you go out to make improvements, you can't not make an. Improvement, can you, really? But you have to look back. You have to look back because you might say to yourself, well, maybe Cloughie, I do try, but I don't notice. The improvements I've made. And that's why we have to do. That review, because any changes that you've made are now your new normal. And your new normal tends to be. Well, what issues, what issues did I have in that area? And you have to look back and go, oh, yeah, I was a right old so and so doing that type of stuff. But now I've changed. Now you're going to say cloughy, you've told me this before. Yes, I know, and I do repeat. on this podcast. But there's a reason for that repetition. Tony Robbins used to say, repetition is. A mother of skill. And it's a reminder, a re reminder, because we need reminders. It's amazing how many times we hear. Something, but it doesn't go in. And then there's just that one time. When, oh, yeah, I seem to remember that. Yeah. And there's things I want to get. To grip with different areas of me. I want to get to grip with new things now. And that's what happens, because we realize how far we've moved, where we are now and now where we look to the future. What else do I want to do? What can I strive for? Do you get that now? What can I strive for next? Hopefully not too many things, because we get overwhelmed, and that's when we get procrastination. So if you're suffering procrastination or overwhelm, just dial it back a little bit. Dial it back. How many things am I trying to do at Once? Because you can't. I like to think of each area of my life as being a wheel Anyway, back to my story, back to. My wheels and, my spokes. What the hell are you talking about, cloughy? Well, to me, instead of having buckets, different areas of my life. I like to think of each area of my life as being a wheel. Not the old wheel of life that people talk about or used to talk about. They still do, where you would split up a wheel up into different segments, and each segment would be an area. Of your life, and you'd shade in. Where you thought you were up to in your life and then go, well, if that was a wheel and you were riding a car. How bumpy would that be? You got to work on those areas. To pull them all up. But I found that just having one. Area was too big, too vague, which. Is why I said a wheel is an area of my life. But the spokes in between, they're the things that make up the wheel. So you could have a wheel for health, and the spokes might be exercise. Could be diet, could be what you. Et, not when you eat, but things like, supplements. Maybe it's rest, sleep, who knows? That's health. But then there's lots of other things. Relationships and things like that. And I know I have to do this, and I don't like the have. To, and I know I need to do this, and I don't like the word need, and I should do this and I should. It should be. I want to should. There's a should in there already, isn't there? We should all over ourselves. And, I know I really want to do this. And I started again, and I got. This lovely little notebook, and it's all divided. It was bought to me from my son. And I've got little yellow, little yellow pages in between with lots of other pages in between. So I thought, to me, that's it. Every yellow page will be the start of a new wheel, and every page. Will be a spoke within that wheel. And then I just got into it, and then I found myself. I started. Have you ever done this? You start with the best of intentions. And it's not the intention, I would go to, but it's like the best of intentions. I want to do this. It's a good idea. But I tell myself off now because I found myself. I didn't carry on. I didn't keep it going, did bits and pieces. I did the gym. I worked out a, lot of my health work about the exercises, because. That was an easy one. I knew that. So I was writing down stuff I knew and the sort of stuff I was doing, but because of that, it wasn't that motivational. I wasn't motivated to carry on with the hard stuff. And then I just didn't do it. And then I got the biggest slap in the face. Just like that. I thought to myself, I'm doing all this stuff towards a bloody. What? Cloughie. What are you doing? What is this towards? What are you trying to do? I've got all the wheels. Got all the spokes. Well, I haven't got the spokes. I got the wheels, but I didn't. Bother to get the spokes, but, I'm now questioning, are they the right ones? Well, they're not wrong, but could I do better ones? And even that didn't sort of, sort. Of get me motivated. And then there it was again. Another slap in the face. I was metaphorically pretty dazed by then. You see what happened? It suddenly got to me, this big aha moment. You dick, Cloughie, you're dope. Not good dope, but dopey. Old dopey. Dopey Cloughie. You have to have the ultimate vision that you've got in the moment I reminded myself, I've been talking about ultimate visions. The best version of yourself, the best version of us, me, you. And can you imagine it? Well, I could. Not quite in the detail I wanted to at the moment, but I've talked. About it so much about him. It's all in your imagination. And by the way, ultimate vision is never going to be ultimate because it's. Going to keep evolving, you're going to find ways to keep improving, but you have to have the ultimate vision that you've got in the moment. And I did one of these a long time ago. I did a lovely ultimate vision in. My early days of NLP, I wrote out my ultimate vision and it was beautifully typed. I put it in a lovely font, I put it on a six by. Four card and it was lovely. And it was load of balls, really. Well, it wasn't then. It was what I was going to aspire to. But when I look at it, or when I looked at it again not too long ago, I thought to myself, I've changed so much, so much of those words now. are they nice words? But they're no longer appropriate to me. They don't fit. I need to move on. Well, I have moved on and I need to move this ultimate vision and. I started to think about it. First things first. What's the intention of having wheels, spokes, buckets, whatever you want to improve this personal development. The intention is to be the best. Version of yourself, isn't it? So it's a big picture? The big picture, the most best version. The real me, the best real me I can think of. That's my intention. That's where I'm going. And everything else now will fit inside that. Paul: I wanted to know who I want to aspire to be First things first. So before thinking of the sections, I. Wanted to know who I want to aspire to be. To what end as well. What would happen if I, you know, what, that ultimate vision of myself, what would that pull do? be Because it's the ultimate vision of me. So what did I do? I started to see myself doing my little visualization, but then I was doing it writing down, because you know what I say, you got to write that sucker down. So in that book, I found a. Blank page before for all the other. Stuff I've done, and I wrote down everything I could about that me, I. Aspire to be to, or I aspire to be that ultimate vision, that best version of myself. I wrote everything I could. What would the beliefs, that ultimate vision, that ultimate me, the best version of me have? And they weren't the beliefs I have. Now, but there are the beliefs. I know that if I had them, well, it would be amazing. What about the values? The values that ultimate vision of me would hold himself to? And I wrote those down. And the good thing, well, to me. I felt good about that because they. Were the same values that I have in me now. It's all about being trust, honesty. But then a new one popped in. Loyalty. yeah, they come together. And then I started to think, well. When that ultimate version of me, that. Best version of me is living a life with these wonderful, powerful beliefs about my identity, who I believed I was with, the wonderful values, the things that were really important to me, that me out there, what emotions would I experience more of, what behaviors would I do. The high level behaviors that, I would hold myself to, and, what would those behaviors begin to attract or do? And there was things like being non. Judgmental, because I'm a little bit judgmental sometimes, you. But being open minded, being kind, looking deeper. and I went on and on, and it made me quite emotional to write it, to think, where is this all coming from? And then I realized it's coming from me, cloughy, it's inside you. So if it's inside you to write. Down, you know, you can aspire to be there because you've got those skills. All you have to do is start. How do you do that? How do you start to use them? I didn't finish that sentence off, but I jumped in. You can start to think of, well, what would happen if I acted as. If I was the ultimate vision. Yeah, I probably won't get it all. I know I won't, but I'll get a lot further, lot nearer if I act as if. And now when I think about it, and I just think of how I would act, how that ultimate vision of. Me would be, I can now visualize. It so much more. I can visualize me, cloughy Paul out there. And then I can start to say. Well, what would the wheels the sections of my life, the content and whatever. What would be the real special, specific. Wheels that make up that ultimate vision? Me. And then the spokes that are part. Of that ultimate vision. And you see, now I've got that. Can you tell my voice has changed? I've just noticed my voice has changed because I'm more motivated to start working on it. Really looking at those wheels and the spokes. So that's what I'm going to do. Maybe I said about another, I think this is going to have to be another pod as well. So another pod, another episode. That's, if you're interested, of how we. Can really get that ultimate vision in. Our heads, I think I've given you. A good idea, but if you wanted. A bit more help with maybe like a little process to do that, a little visualization in an episode, we could do that. And then how we can take that into wheels, spokes, buckets, whatever you like. And the whole thing about this is it's bloody simple. And to do it, all you need to do is those simple steps, the simple steps that I'm taking. And it is an. And it's exciting. It's exciting. Now let me know. Let me know if that's of interest. To you and we'll do another episode. I'd love to know what your thoughts are about this. Is it inspiring or has it inspired you? I'm not an inspiring speaker, but does it inspire you? A little bit. And, just as a re reminder, my meta view of this one, just looking down on everything I'd been talking about or thinking about and writing about. Paul Clough: Think about what your intention is when thinking about personal developmen First things first. Before we start, set your blood. Think about what your intention is. No, I thought my intention was to work out the bits and pieces. No, my first intention was, where am I headed? What do I expect? What am I looking for? Now? You might say, oh, maybe I. Missed out all these years, all these. Months, all these days, but it's never. Too late because we're always evolving and. You have to, so we're always starting over. So I wonder how curious you couldbe about that and doing what, you. Know, actually doing and not just knowing what, you know, doing what, you know, the mastery of you bringing back that intention. There you go. There you go. I hope there's a few golden. Gold. Yeah, Goldie golden nuggets out there for you. And you feel inspired to give yourself a metaphorical slap in the face. Oh, dough. As homer from the Simpsons would say, and start to think about personal development. Where am I going what is my ultimate vision of me? Who do I aspire to be? Yeah. And if you could share this with other people, that'd be awesome. I always like you to share. It would be great if you do. Because if everyone just gets that little glimmer of moving towards your ultimate vision, it's what we're put on this, I believe, put on this little old planet earth to do, to be it's growth, evolving and creating new things as we do it. And everyone gets a benefit. So if you could share this, that would be awesome. Press that subscribe follow button, all that, all that stuff I say. And email me if you want another episode in this or what part of it you'd like even more detail on. And that's feedback at personal developmentunplugged.com. And you can catch me on Twitter, or x or whatever it is now. And Instagram all that stuff. Have a little look, just google my name, unplugged and all that stuff, and you'll see my face and you'll know it's me because I'll have all that I have, put up all my reels and things like that. Anyway, until the next time, my friend. This has been fun. I enjoyed this. So let's have a good one and fly. Oh, and also have more fun than you can. You are now leaving the uncloved mind of Paul Clough. It's time to fly on your own. Be brave, my friends. Personal development unplugged.
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FMQ 431 Showing Up - More Often
02/14/2024
FMQ 431 Showing Up - More Often
Showing up - More often Because sometimes we don't In this wonderful world of personal development, we are constantly told to show up, be our best self, and be vulnerable by singing from our voice and it's a good thing to do and in this episode, I'm here to give you permission not to - WHAT! It's okay to strive to show up and sometimes forget because that's life and if we can aim to be consistent in learning from those times. Then we will show up more often. We don't learn from getting down on ourselves but we will if we're kind to ourselves (and others) When we do we get to show up more often - well that's the basis of this 5 minute muse please share the episode and have a quick look at the video Shine brightly Paul Please remember you can leave a comment or email me with questions, requests and feedback. If you have enjoyed this or any other episode please share and subscribe. Just email me If you want to subscribe to the podcast (I know you do) Remember for my specially designed programs for developing Supreme Inner Confidence, Free Your Life of Anxiety and specialize Hypnosis tracks go to If you want to access my FREE HYPNOSIS tracks go to Follow and inter-react on twitter @pcloughie I’m a therapist but not your therapist The information with this website or online work, techniques and exercises provided within these free and paid products are for educational purposes only. Do not use the techniques or exercises contained within some of these free or paid products whilst driving or operating machinery, or if you suffer from epilepsy, clinical depression or any other nervous or psychiatric conditions. The information provided is not a substitute for proper medical advice. If in doubt, please consult your doctor or licensed medical practitioner. Any decision you make having received any of Paul Clough's free or paid products are your own and you remain wholly responsible for any decisions and actions you take. Why not look for me and the podcast on AND the app Castbox I'm also in YouTube - copy n paste UC3BlpN4voq8aAN7ePsIMt2Q into search bar The Libsyn podcast page http://personaldevelomentunplugged.libsyn.com tunein, learnoutloud, Google Play Music Music by from , Music by from , Music by from , Music by from , Music by from ,
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FMQ 430 Dealing With The Past - Simply
02/10/2024
FMQ 430 Dealing With The Past - Simply
Dealing With The Past - Simply Let's take 5 minutes or so to think about memories, those ones from the past - do they really exist, does the past really exist, and if so where? And I know we have been here before, in the past, and that no longer exists - does it And if it doesn't exist why does it feel so real and affect me so much? Exactly - that's where we going in the next few minutes if you wish to press play. But I have a question for you to ask your unconscious mind of those annoying looping memories and then they tend to just disappear back into the past where they belong. There's probably another longer episode to come from this Oooooo! I'll send you an email and tell you what I think of Paul I hear you think 'O) Here's a link to share too and of course the video link on YouTube Shine brightly Paul Please remember you can leave a comment or email me with questions, requests and feedback. If you have enjoyed this or any other episode please share and subscribe. Just email me If you want to subscribe to the podcast (I know you do) Remember for my specially designed programs for developing Supreme Inner Confidence, Free Your Life of Anxiety and specialize Hypnosis tracks go to If you want to access my FREE HYPNOSIS tracks go to Follow and inter-react on twitter @pcloughie I’m a therapist but not your therapist The information with this website or online work, techniques and exercises provided within these free and paid products are for educational purposes only. Do not use the techniques or exercises contained within some of these free or paid products whilst driving or operating machinery, or if you suffer from epilepsy, clinical depression or any other nervous or psychiatric conditions. The information provided is not a substitute for proper medical advice. If in doubt, please consult your doctor or licensed medical practitioner. Any decision you make having received any of Paul Clough's free or paid products are your own and you remain wholly responsible for any decisions and actions you take. Why not look for me and the podcast on > AND the app Castbox I'm also in YouTube - copy n paste UC3BlpN4voq8aAN7ePsIMt2Q into search bar The Libsyn podcast page http://personaldevelomentunplugged.libsyn.com tunein, learnoutloud, Google Play Music Music by from , Music by from , Music by from , >, Music by from , Music by from ,
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#377 Dealing With Anger PART 2
02/07/2024
#377 Dealing With Anger PART 2
Dealing With Anger PART 2 Diving into the 'How To' So now we get to learn more about the intention of anger and how it really is an inappropriate emotion. We can see examples where others have used it to propel their lives, using the energy contained in the emotion and that's ok, I guess, if you don't hold onto it. Can you think of better emotions to use? I can and I'm also guessing if you were to remember times you achieved a goal and enjoyed the process anger was at the back of the queue :O) If you haven't listened to part 1 it would help you get the best out of this part 2 and guide you to make changes - Anger doesn't only affect those with it but all those close to them and so will letting go of anger. Do it for yourself and others to get the benefit. win-win-win-win So come dive in with me and find ways to release anger and the end of those stories Please share this episode, it will make a difference and I would love your feedback Shine brightly Paul Please remember you can leave a comment or email me with questions, requests and feedback. If you have enjoyed this or any other episode please share and subscribe. Just email me If you want to subscribe to the podcast (I know you do) Remember for my specially designed programs for developing Supreme Inner Confidence, Free Your Life of Anxiety and specialize Hypnosis tracks go to If you want to access my FREE HYPNOSIS tracks go to Follow and inter-react on twitter @pcloughie I’m a therapist but not your therapist The information with this website or online work, techniques and exercises provided within these free and paid products are for educational purposes only. Do not use the techniques or exercises contained within some of these free or paid products whilst driving or operating machinery, or if you suffer from epilepsy, clinical depression or any other nervous or psychiatric conditions. The information provided is not a substitute for proper medical advice. If in doubt, please consult your doctor or licensed medical practitioner. Any decision you make having received any of Paul Clough's free or paid products are your own and you remain wholly responsible for any decisions and actions you take. Why not look for me and the podcast on > AND the app Castbox I'm also in YouTube - copy n paste UC3BlpN4voq8aAN7ePsIMt2Q into search bar The Libsyn podcast page http://personaldevelomentunplugged.libsyn.com tunein, learnoutloud, Google Play Music Music by from , Music by from , Music by from , >, Music by from , Music by from , And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism This is part two of the personal development unplugged podcast Heads up. This is part two. Part two? The second part. That's what a part two is, of dealing with anger. This is where we deal with the process of letting it go and changing, creating the life we want. So I. You haven't listened to part one. Please do, because it will make so much more sense, obviously. So have a listen to part one, and then if you want, then you can come straight into this. So that'll be fine. Absolutely. Superb. So here we go. I know it's important to you. Have a listen after this. Okay, my friend, welcome back. Hopefully, now you've listened to part one, getting ready to let go, make the changes you want. Create a rich life. Because you'll be amazed. You'll be amazed when things change. Your new normal will be so rich. And in fact, I believe over time, you'll forget the old life, uh, the old way, because it no longer served you. It will no longer serve you anyway. But it's all been done. We're going to create that new way of being so it's really exciting, isn't it? I think it's really exciting. And if you remember in the first part, told you a little bit about the, uh, positive intention behind anger, trying to protect you. It's a secondary emotion. It comes in after fight and flight, and fight and flight is what protects you. Anyway, it's hardwired, as we said in your neurology. So no worries. You're always going to be protected. And what we want now is to create a way that you use the learnings, the learnings from the past, so you can be safe and therefore you can access better, uh, more appropriate emotions, behaviors and beliefs. Because when you do that, you're going to be so protected, but feeling comfortable, feeling good. And that's where we're going to be going in a short while. You remember those stories I was telling you about the guy who came and saw me with all that anger? Remember that NLP guy came up on for his presentation? And Geoff Thompson? We're going to finish those shortly. But first of all, I want you to find a comfortable place. And this is not hypnosis, by the way. You might find you're going to go inside because you're going to use your memory and maybe a little bit of imagination. So if you can find a place where you're going to be undisturbed, you're going to want to be writing things down. And I know when people go, oh, bloody hell, do I have to? Yes, it's so important that you write this bugger down, because in order to get the real depth of this, when you write it down, you have to go inside and find the right words, find, uh, how to communicate your thoughts in your head to the paper. And that makes this process so much more deeper and more connection, uh, I believe a more deeper connection with your unconscious mind. So yes, you do have to write it down. And the other bonus of that is you can come back, come back at any time, and especially in the second part of this process, you can come back and add to it, add to the things that are going to make your life richer. And I think that's important because when we come back, and it's also a great reminder, or a re reminder, as my son hates me to say, a re reminder. It's a re reminder of your commitment, your commitment to change and what you're going to get and what you're aiming for. Because we have to have an intention, and our intention is what we anticipate to achieve. I believe, and I like even go to expect this is our expectation. So you have your intention, and you may be able to visualize it from the words. Well, you will. You'll be able to visualize it from the words that you write down. And you'll be able to see a new you, a new you that is doing all the things that you want it to want him to do, her, uh, to do whichever way around you are. But it is so important that you can come back to this and, uh, even look at it and go, do you know what? I'm going to make that even better because now I know the process. I can make it even better. I will make it even better. I'm going to start to think about consequences, opportunities, because that's where we're going to start going. I'm not going to give you all now because we're going to go through the process, but I just want you to find that place where you'll be generally undisturbed, so you don't need complete solitude, but it's somewhere where you can focus and think about or use your thinking. Go inside and just muse and then write on your paper. So go and find a comfortable place, that quiet place, and set your intention, your expectation of releasing this negative emotion of anger and finding wonderful ways to put in place of the old way. And you don't know what they are yet, but we're going to go there. Okay, so get ready, and then we'll jump into the second part of this. Ask yourself what negative emotion is costing you today or in the past There you go. Okay, let's get there. Now you see what happens. Say we were to look down upon it and what we're going to ask, we're going to ask ourselves some questions. But what I have to say to you is, if you're going to do this with me, if you're going to do this, you're going to need a pen and paper because we're going to have to write it down. As I said, we're going to look down on our life, as it were. Ask ourselves some questions, get some answers. But you have to do both. Don't just do it 50 50 because we're going to do some negatives and we want to do the positives. Don't want to leave anybody in anything. So remember, I'm a therapist, and your therapist, if you want to do this, it's not a big deal, but just do the. Just do it all. So I want you to write down, first of all, what you think that emotion is. Uh oh, maybe it's. And you can swear and do whatever you like. If it's anger, or whatever, you can write it down on the top of the page, right in the middle. If it's a mind map, if you're doing a mind map, just draw a line down the middle, because we're going to have the one side and then we're going to have difference on the other side and the first one. The question is, what's it costing you? So let's just refine that a little bit. What has it cost you? And, um, write that down. Be honest with yourself. What's it bloody cost you? It'll probably cost you relationships. It might have cost you jobs, it might have cost you maybe physical things. Maybe you've done damage. What has it cost you in the past? And write those down. And when you write those down, you're going to say, be honest. Just go through all those. Not all the times, but the one, the significant ones that come to mind. What has it cost you today? Let's be honest. Because if it's costing you things which are negative, then your unconscious mind is going to start to see, oh, it's not working, is it? Because everything, the effects of this are, uh, negative. And then I want you to think, well, okay, what's it costing me right now, today, holding on to this? And it could well be your health, could be finance, could be relationships, not just necessarily romantic relationships. It could be the family, friends, social work colleagues. Write it down. Write the answers down. All on the same side. Right or left, I don't care. And then what would be the consequences if you were to choose to continue to have this emotion and think about that? Just don't go mad. We got to be realistic. But what would the cost be? What would be the consequence if you continued to choose this anger or this negative emotion? We'll go with anger. And when you look at all of that, you might just want a summary. You can ask yourself, well, how is this working for me? And you know how the answer is. It nearly swore. It's not. It's not at all, is it? But I want you to be really honest with yourself, to know that your unconscious mind is doing something for a positive reason. But what are the effects now? Might have worked at the very first time, maybe the second time, but after that, it diminishes, and now it's causing you harm, it's causing you negative effects through negative behaviors, negative emotions. And then you've got the other side of the paper again. You got to write this down and make sure you do it. What beliefs would you rather have about yourself? And they'd be positive How would you rather be? Just think, how would you rather be. So what beliefs would you rather have about yourself? And they'd be positive. They're not, I'm not angry person, because that's a negative. I'm not angry. Now, how would you be? Maybe how I would rather be is a loving person, a kind person, maybe gentle. I don't know. That came to my mind. Just what belief would you have? And it's going to start off with I'm. Even if it's the subtle one, like, I'm okay, I've got this. I can deal with this easily, effortlessly. I'm the type of person that stands up for myself in the appropriate manner. So what beliefs would you have about yourself? Because these are identity beliefs of how you would rather be in place of the old way. So no negatives. So I would rather believe I'm not angry person. No, that we want these in the positive. How would you be if you had this right now, the way you want to be? What would you believe in yourself and write those buggers down. What emotions would you have instead in place of the old anger? So it might be calmness, might be an awareness, maybe reflection, maybe just feeling of comfortable. I love comfortable. Because when you're comfortable, you can access all different things. You can access different emotions. Thoughtful, empathetic. If you like empathy, you can have anything you want. There's one beginning with a common I can always forget the bloody thing, but that's the one I want. Now what behaviors would you have in place instead of the old one? Reflect on the behaviors that would come from those emotions. So if you're, I don't know, just say you were comfortable, well, maybe you would walk differently, you would breathe differently, wouldn't you? You'd probably see things more clearly. You'd be able to talk to yourself in a different way, wouldn't you? How would you like to talk to yourself in place of the old way? And as you think of that, you're seeing in some ways, and I know you've got to, got to see it. Even if you don't see it in perfect 2020 vision, somewhere in your mind's eye there's a vision of yourself. How, uh, you'd like to be believing about yourself in such a positive way, accessing really good positive emotions, having the behaviors, using the learnings you've learnt along with all the experiences. And when you're like that, how would affect you in the world? What would the effect be on you personally? I'm sure you'd be more healthier, I'm sure you'd have more opportunities. I'm sure your esteem would grow because you can be a warrior, huh? But you can also be a lover. You can be not a comedian, but have humor. You put those three together, that's a wonderful combination. So what would the effect of on you be when you're believing in yourself in that positive way, positive emotions and those behaviors, and how would that affect others, the people around you, your close friends, maybe closer than that. Uh, those one to one relationships. What about family? How would it affect your family? How would it affect you at your work, maybe in your social life, your health, life? M how would affect your prospects for living and life? And when you think about that, what would be the consequences of being like that? What are the opportunities that are going to come your way that in the past wouldn't at all, but now, when you're like this, what are those opportunities? What dreams could you have and believe they could become true? And when you imagine all of that as one, what would that feel like? And try to describe that feeling. You have to write this down. You have to. There's no, well, I can think about it. Cloughie. Uh, I can do this. No, you have to write all of these down because it's your reminder. You can go back to all of this. You can schedule some thinking time and expand upon it. You can do it daily, and then you can see the changes. You can make it richer. So you schedule in this and you imagine one of the things, how would I act? As if I was to act as if I have those beliefs, those emotions and behaviors, and the learnings and the experiences and those wonderful goals, how would I act? And if I was to act as if right now, what would that be like? And describe it. Yes, a lot of writing, but it's going to be so worthwhile. And it doesn't have to be pages and pages, but it's so worthwhile. So when you schedule just thinking, maybe just daily seeing that you, it's a bit like that ultimate vision of yourself, but just imagine yourself having let go and now acting as if see yourself over there being that person has all the beliefs, attributes, emotions, behaviors, the skills, and is continued learning and is starting to take those opportunities that come their way. And I'll tell you what happens when you do that. We were talking about, um, that NLP man within minutes on the stage, and it was literally probably about 1520 minutes. He had tears at the end of it, but there were tears of joy. Tears of joy, because he suddenly realized, I don't need that anymore. I've let it go. And he could see in his future, just, as I said, the consequences now of the change that he'd made. And we saw him during the training. From that moment on, he was a great participant practitioner up to then, but he just got so much more out of the training. And I know he went to see various, uh, people to explain just things, and he felt so much stronger for it. What happened when Geoff Thompson channeled and learnt from his anger So what happened to Geoff Thompson, this bruiser, this bouncer? I mean, he's like five black belts in five different bloody ways. He said he can kill you in five different ways and all that stuff. But what happened when he channeled and learnt from his anger, when he used that energy, first of all, to write, but write books that help people, help people create lives for themselves to be able to deal with the things that he dealt with. He also wrote, um, film place. Film place, scripts for films, whatever it is. And they were really emotional. This is this big bruiser now writing screenplays. And what happened? He won a bloody BAFTA. He's been writing plays. He's got books. He does talks, and he inspires people. I've talked about him before. He's such a lovely man. So he's let go of the anger, and he's learned from it. I believe he's learned. He says he's channeled it into doing all this stuff, but I just think his unconscious mind has learned from it. It's no longer protecting. How can we use that energy into different things? So it's just using the energy, not using the anger. That's my view. And, uh, what happened to my client? Well, he came back after the session, and I didn't know he was coming back. And, uh, my sons had taken. Had made the appointment for me. And when I saw it in the diary, I thought to myself, oh, bugger. Maybe it didn't work. That's the first thing. It's like that negative thing you think of. Oh, no. You always think the worst. Don't we? We do. Oh, no, it hasn't worked. But he came in and said, I'm going to pay for this session, but I don't want a session. I want to sit here and talk to you and explain to you what's happened. And he told me, he said, I've been to the doctor. I'll have been to the hospital. My body is now getting better. Everything is starting to get better and get, uh. Uh. All the dials are getting more positive. And all this stuff. I say dials because they don't look quite big. All his metabolism everything was changing for the positive back to normal health. He said, my son, we don't live together because we found out really he needs his time, his space, and so do I. But we meet and we meet often, and we have this wonderful connection now. He said, just as special, he said, you don't know where I've been last weekend, do you? I ain't got bloody clue. So I'll tell you where I've been, Paul. I've just come back from the christening of my granddaughter, and I stayed with my daughter and her husband and my granddaughter, and I was at the christening. And that's all down to letting go. These are the consequences to him of letting go of that anger and being able to access those positive beliefs, the emotions, the behaviors, and learning from everything. And yes, two of those people, my NLP man, or Joseph's NLP man, my man, they were based or, uh, used processes. But the processes, in some ways, what I've explained to you, learning from the past and then learning how you can change and be better in the future. Geoff Thompson, he created that same, I believe, similar process. He learned from the past, learned what was working. He knew if he carried on, it would have been a disaster, the consequences. And he decided to change and channel that energy into the good. So that's exactly what we've done today or in this episode. And so that really means I've put equals an equal sign in my notes. So can you. But there's a couple of pre work credits. One is you have to decide what you want and you have to decide to be it. Uh, acting as if. Just act as if you've...
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#376 Dealing With Anger PART 1
02/03/2024
#376 Dealing With Anger PART 1
Dealing With Anger PART 1 Another episode based on a listener's email telling of their battle with anger and how the effects were ruining every part of their life. And I know this is not an isolated issue having worked with clients with debilitating anger. It affects most of us to some degree or other and it is not, I beleive, acceptable in any way and yes I too have and do work on this. I have split this between two episodes, so they are just the right size to get it and the work on it. Even if you say to yourself Well I'm not an angry person - you don't have to be angry all the time to work on it - deal with the snowball before it grows bigger as it slowly rolls down the hill - nip it in the bud. The stories I share are of real people and how quickly they were able to let go of their anger and the effects when they did. And you won't have to wait long for the second episode as I've swapped it with the next FMQ. It's so important to learn about the negative emotions in our lives and how we can deal with them quickly and comfortably so please share this episode - you will never know how far the effect of doing so will travel. Shine brightly Paul Please remember you can leave a comment or email me with questions, requests and feedback. If you have enjoyed this or any other episode please share and subscribe. Just email me If you want to subscribe to the podcast (I know you do) Remember for my specially designed programs for developing Supreme Inner Confidence, Free Your Life of Anxiety and specialize Hypnosis tracks go to If you want to access my FREE HYPNOSIS tracks go to Follow and inter-react on twitter @pcloughie I’m a therapist but not your therapist The information with this website or online work, techniques and exercises provided within these free and paid products are for educational purposes only. Do not use the techniques or exercises contained within some of these free or paid products whilst driving or operating machinery, or if you suffer from epilepsy, clinical depression or any other nervous or psychiatric conditions. The information provided is not a substitute for proper medical advice. If in doubt, please consult your doctor or licensed medical practitioner. Any decision you make having received any of Paul Clough's free or paid products are your own and you remain wholly responsible for any decisions and actions you take. Why not look for me and the podcast on > AND the app Castbox I'm also in YouTube - copy n paste UC3BlpN4voq8aAN7ePsIMt2Q into search bar The Libsyn podcast page http://personaldevelomentunplugged.libsyn.com tunein, learnoutloud, Google Play Music Music by from , Music by from , Music by from , >, Music by from , Music by from , And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism Hey, your heads up. Heads up to the longer podcast. It's another listener question, and it's about dealing with anger, excessive anger, anger that is really destroying a person's life and the people in their life. We're going to go through that. I'm going to give you some stories, true stories, of what can be achieved easily, and effortlessly, and also a process that you can use. So get a pen and paper. Yes, it means writing, but do that because it's so important. So have a listen after this little intro, and then we'll get right into it. Oh, and I forgot, I've decided to split this up into two sections. I'm not going to leave you hanging. So it goes over a week to week, because I think it's important that once you start the process, you dive straight into it and you keep that motivation. But it was a long recording and I wanted you to get the basics. And, then in the second recording, actually sit down and work through the process so there's no distractions, no tiredness, no laziness. Say laziness. But I mean trying to put putting things off. You can actually concentrate and focus for that shorter period of time. And really home in onto that process or processes, because it's a process, but processes, they're all together. So bear with me because this is important. So, first part is setting the foundations, setting the scene, starting off the stories, and then part two will be getting into the process and, well, completing the stories. I hope, that's okay with you. And I say I won't keep you hanging. The next episode will be in the next couple of days or so. Okay. Hello. Hello. The longer podcast from personal development unplugged is about anger The longer podcast from personal development unplugged is with me, Paul, and I have another question, a, listener's question. So, one of the five or so listeners who are with you listening here. And it's all about bloody anger. Anger. I think we all get anger of some degree or another, don't we? But sometimes anger can be a real swearing, a real nightmare, a, ah, nightmare for the people who have the anger, and a nightmare for the people who have to suffer it along around them. So, anger has so many negative effects. It's a negative emotion. In my mind, it's a completely negative emotion and has no benefit. I've argued that for quite a few times, because some people think anger actually motivates them, and it can do, and I'll give you a story about that. But I don't think it's the best, emotion if you want motivation. But sometimes if you got it, you just got to maybe use it until you find a better way. You see, I know of people who have really suffered, really suffered with anger and the effects, and it's ruined their lives or it ruined their life at the time, because I've also seen it disappear in, in one case, literally minutes within one session. And that was when the time was right, the process was right. And I guess two people in the right place, because this was a long time ago, a long time ago, one of my early days, early days seeing clients. And this guy came along and said, I've got this terrible, terrible anger. It's so bad that my doctor has told me I need to find some type of psychological help, which is why I've come to you. Because everything within my body physically is going downhill, and in time, it will actually kill me. Oh, blimey, Riley. I thought to myself, this is a biggie. And I said, okay, well, we can do. Sure, I'm sure. Let's just start talking. He said, now, before you do that, I just want to make sure you can, if you're any good, because I said, let's have a look. He said, well, I want you to stop me smoking. Help me stop smoking. If you can help me stop smoking, then I'll trust you with this biggie. And I said, well, maybe the smoking is helping you. Every behavior is a positive intent, just like the anger. But maybe that smoking is helping you deal with the anger. And if we take that away, he said, no, no, I want to see how good you are. So we did it. And he came back, said, yeah, that's fine, dandy. Let's talk about this anger. You see, let's look at anger as secondary Let's talk about this anger. He said, it's so bad. As I said, my body is closing down on myself. My son, who used to live with me, can't stand me. So he's left my daughter, who's just about to have my first granddaughter. She's said, I'm not welcome. Not welcome to see her and have her new family when it comes, because of the way I've been said, I really need help. And, I'm not going to tell you this. I don't normally ask, about what's happening. I was bit inquisitive, but he told me, and, I'm not going to share that with you because it was just, it was a very, very emotional story. But his anger was so much that the voice inside his head was so loud all the time that these were the days of like the, Walkmans with a CD disc you put in and, what have you. He used to have it on turn out of ten in volume. So, you know, here, trying to drown out the noise in his head. That's how bad it was. And we did one process, it was just the right process just for him. Oh, there's a funny noise. And then, you see, it was all a matter of learning, learning at the unconscious level, not the conscious level. But we can do some learning at the conscious level because we're going to do it here today. But you see, it reminded me of somebody else who I really look up to. And there's a guy called Jeff Thompson. He used to be a bouncer. Not a nice man at that time, and even tell you he was not a nice man. And he said he used to get really, really angry because of the things that he'd suffered in the past that had in some ways not made him, but had created this man with, armor. He had tattoos and things like that. He had armor and he was like a doorman and he was in a really tough area and he excelled at that. But he said when he let that go and started to do other stuff and became very spiritual, he said he was still angry. But he would use that anger, and he would find a vehicle. Well, that was a vehicle, but he would find a destination, something that he could use that anger to a positive, effect. So not being angry and shouting at people, he would actually use that energy, the energy within him that was so volatile to do some wonderful things. And I even saw it, on my son's, Joseph's very first NLP training. There was a guy there, we were letting go of anger. It was just a topic on timeline therapy. And he came up to the stage to do the demo. We weren't quite sure because we never quite sure the background, but he found out that he had been holding on to anger for over 20 years, and it was still inside him, it still affected him. And in that demonstration, which was minutes, not hours, well, I'll tell you later. You see, let's look at anger, because for me, I say it's, a negative emotion. It's totally inappropriate in my mind. It serves no benefit. I'm sure it has a positive intention, I know, and the unconscious mind uses it. But to me, there's better emotions, better behaviors to use. You see, I think it's secondary, and I've been taught that it's secondary because you have fight and flight as your hardwired protection measure. It's hardwired in your neurology. No one can take it away. Your unconscious mind clicks into fight or flight. I know there's a freeze in there, but sometimes. But fight and flight is there, and, that really protects you. See, why would you need anger to protect you? In fact, why would you need all the other negative emotions to protect you? Because they don't work. But it's what your unconscious mind has found that works. Way back then, when you first experienced something and got angry and, it protected you in some way, maybe kept people away, maybe somehow it looked after you and it thought, well, I can continue do this or continue to keep doing this, but it's not appropriate, because if you don't learn, you see, I remember, and this is what really convinced me, that anger as well as fear, they're both secondary emotions that come after fight and flight. See, I was walking my dog. Another story, true story, walking my dog, taz. Beautiful little dog. Little got, him from one of those home things. And he was about four when I got him, I think, bless him, and he was frightened of everything. And we got him m through that, and we used to go for lovely walks. And he was a little bit of like a sheepy type dog. So I'd walk down the middle of, this green open grassland and he would run round the outside and he loved it. And then we'd meet up in the middle and then we'd walk home and one day we're doing this, and there was two or three dogs suddenly ran out of the side and started attacking, attacking him. So fight and fly. I suddenly went shouting at them, yeah, get off, get off, get off. Yeah. And they did. But what I didn't see was the group of guys round the corner whose dogs they were. And they were either drunk or drugged or both. And they started coming for me. Now what are you doing? Shout out to my dogs now. Fight and flight. I could have tried to fight, but there was more of them. And to be honest, I didn't. I thought the best thing to do was to, flight to flight. So they couldn't walk very fast because they were a little bit jaggedy on their feet with whatever they'd taken. So I walked pretty fast and got taz with me and we moved pretty fast to get away from that. Then I got home and whether it's like an adrenaline dump or not, I don't know, but I suddenly got really angry. Angry. Why are those people? How can they be like that? How can they be so aggressive towards me? We were doing nothing. How can they be doing that? And I got so angry with myself. Why didn't I just suddenly stop and go, ra. And then the fear came in. Yeah, but what happened if they had knives or whatever, could have died, been attacked and killed. I got fearful about it. And then angry and fear. And they came after the fight. Flight. The fight and the flight protected me. Without thinking. It just happened. And then that anger and that fear started to, get inside me until I realized, do you know what? We did the right thing. We did the right thing. Find a therapist. What do you mean, find a therapist And maybe next time to be a little bit more observant and maybe go at different times and just keep an eye out. So I learned from that. Never had a problem again. So it was about learning. And then that anger and that fear just disappeared from that thing. But if it hadn't had done, maybe that would be like a significant emotional event. That's what we call these things in timeline therapy and NLP, a significant emotional event. And that could have caused me then to have those fear, either a fear or anger in other events in the future. Because my unconscious mind might thought, well, it worked, but it doesn't. So inappropriate. And they're totally in direct conflict with what your unconscious mind is trying to do, trying to protect you. But fear doesn't protect you, as we said, because it's bloody frightening. Anger doesn't protect you because you don't see, you see red. But if you're aware you're calm in a way that you can access the true skills that you need, that's what protects you. Being comfortable, being able to recognize a situation and act appropriately, that's protection. And you see, I believe all these negative emotions, such as anger, have a starting point. Again, as we said, significant emotional event an see, and it needs learning from. And once you learn, you won't need the emotion and the behavior anymore because you have learned and that what your unconscious mind was thinking and acting and using as a protection measure is no longer appropriate because it's learned. It doesn't need it anymore because you've got what you need. And therefore, in the future, anything happened, you'll use the learnings and they'll protect you. But the thing is, if you are finding, and, we're talking about anger and dealing with anger, but this could be, as you know, in brackets, any other bloody emotion, if it's really causing you extreme difficulty, then go to one to one. What do you mean, one to one? Cloughy. What I mean is find a therapist. Find a therapist. One to one. I know there's a lot of adverts about, you can do it by text, you can do it by phone. Have you ever tried to read the emotion in, a text? Sometimes even on the phone, you can get the emotion, but you can't see the face, and you don't know whether it's a joke or it's being serious. So I really believe if you can, one to one, whether it's on Zoom or whether it's in with the therapist, face to face, ideally face to face, because I love that, but for other people. But find that brilliant therapist, and it'll go really quickly, just as I said, goes quite easily. And you see, but what you can do, because even if you are going to look for a therapist or you're working with a therapist right now, what we're going to do now will not do any harm. It will, I believe, assist you to move on even quicker. Paul Cluff: Get ready for part two of the NLP process Okay, so that's where I'm going to end this episode or this, portion of the episode. This part one I want you to, if it's okay, is to just consider in your mind how important it is to you to let go of this negative emotion, to let go of the associated behaviors, to let go of the effects both to yourself, to, the people around you, to maybe your job, friends, family, even little old planet earth is not getting the best out of you, is it? And if that's really important to you, I know that it is. You can begin to set your intention. Set, your intent. Say that again. Set your intention for. I'm going to do this. I really am. I'm going to get a pad, maybe some. Just some paper, some pencil. Some pencil. some pencil. Get a pencil. Pen, because you're going to need it in the second part. And it's not big stuff, but you're going to need it, because when we start doing the process, we're going to start making notes that you can refer to. And it's important that you do, because once you start the process of putting things on paper, you will get inspired to write more. Not volumes, tombs, as they call them, I think, or tomes, but you'll get intuition, I think. And certainly in the second part of the process, you can build upon it, even, to make things even richer. I'm, not going to tell you what they are or what it means, but you will get inspired. I know. So have just a little muse and decide. This is it. I've had enough. This anger in brackets, any other bloody thing, closed brackets, is no longer serving me. And I want to find a better way. I want to find a better way. And I'm prepared to do whatever it takes. And, whatever it takes is literally not that much. So if that's okay, we're going to stop here and just collect your thoughts, maybe, and get ready. Get ready for part two, where we'll go into the process of, letting things go. Hope, this makes sense. I recorded it all in one go, and then I just had this, the intuition of saying, do you know what? I think we got to do it slightly different. So that's what we're going to do. Okay? So until next time, my friend, get ready, get inspired. I've got this, I get to do this. I'm going to have the will to do whatever it takes to change, change my life and create a rich life. Okay, there you go. I see you very soon. bye bye now. Oh, just before you go, just a re reminder, that if you want, to access any of the free hypnosis and NLP process tracks that I have, there's about 60, 65 of them I was looking at the other day and covers such a myriad of different things. If you do want access to that, please go to paulcluffonline.com podcast and you'll get an email giving you your link to those 65 plus tracks. You can just, unload them, download them and keep them forever. So please do that. And if you want, share that with other people as well, because that'd be great to give them access to all these tools. They'll make a difference. I know they will. They will make a difference. So if that's of interest to you, just go to. As I said, I'll repeat it now. Re reminder, paulcluffonline.com podcast. You'll also get a newsletter from that. And it sometimes is so regular, it might even be monthly, not normally. And they're very short. Just giving you an update of what to expect or what you may have missed. And sometimes they're just video. Who knows? So if any of that's of interest, have it with my compliments. Okay? So get ready for part two. It's going to be coming very, very shortly, and it's going to make a difference, I'm sure. Paul Clough leaves personal development unplugged to fly solo Bye bye now. Let's fly. You are now leaving the unplugged mind of Paul Clough. It's time to fly on your own. Be brave, my friend. Personal development unplugged.
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FMQ 429 Who Creates Your Reality
01/31/2024
FMQ 429 Who Creates Your Reality
Who Creates Your Reality It's lovely to think you create your reality. It's said with abandon in self-development circles but is it really true? And if you don't who does? And can you - really? Well ............................ Let's take 5 minutes or so to muse on this and understand how your reality is created and by whom. Come on, sit down for a SPELL and press play and I'll begin. Here's a link you can use to share too: And here's a link to the video of this FMQ Shine brightly Paul Please remember you can leave a comment or email me with questions, requests and feedback. If you have enjoyed this or any other episode please share and subscribe. Just email me If you want to subscribe to the podcast (I know you do) Remember for my specially designed programs for developing Supreme Inner Confidence, Free Your Life of Anxiety and specialize Hypnosis tracks go to If you want to access my FREE HYPNOSIS tracks go to Follow and inter-react on twitter @pcloughie I’m a therapist but not your therapist The information with this website or online work, techniques and exercises provided within these free and paid products are for educational purposes only. Do not use the techniques or exercises contained within some of these free or paid products whilst driving or operating machinery, or if you suffer from epilepsy, clinical depression or any other nervous or psychiatric conditions. The information provided is not a substitute for proper medical advice. If in doubt, please consult your doctor or licensed medical practitioner. Any decision you make having received any of Paul Clough's free or paid products are your own and you remain wholly responsible for any decisions and actions you take. Why not look for me and the podcast on > AND the app Castbox I'm also in YouTube - copy n paste UC3BlpN4voq8aAN7ePsIMt2Q into search bar The Libsyn podcast page http://personaldevelomentunplugged.libsyn.com tunein, learnoutloud, Google Play Music Music by from , Music by from , Music by from , >, Music by from , Music by from ,
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#375 Back To The Obvious
01/27/2024
#375 Back To The Obvious
Back To The Obvious That should be that isn't So many make, or try to make things complicated and hard to follow and I guess in their eyes it makes them look good. Oh! And this is not a rant on this topic, this time it's just an observation. This topic, Back to the obvious is about the thing we forget and is hiding in plain sight. I have seen it many times and one example of being brave was when my son, Joseph, went to an NLP seminar to see one of the originators of NLP, and what happened was ........ You know the thing it's a podcast and you will have to press play and listen. But it made a lasting impression on me. Similarly, when I have had my doubts serendipity has stepped in on a similar vain - Yes Again, You know the thing it's a podcast and you will have to press play and listen. I guess you're getting the picture, loud and clear After you have listened and enjoyed the sharing please feel free to pay it forward and share to 3 more Shine brightly Paul Please remember you can leave a comment or email me with questions, requests and feedback. If you have enjoyed this or any other episode please share and subscribe. Just email me If you want to subscribe to the podcast (I know you do) Remember for my specially designed programs for developing Supreme Inner Confidence, Free Your Life of Anxiety and specialize Hypnosis tracks go to If you want to access my FREE HYPNOSIS tracks go to Follow and inter-react on twitter @pcloughie I’m a therapist but not your therapist The information with this website or online work, techniques and exercises provided within these free and paid products are for educational purposes only. Do not use the techniques or exercises contained within some of these free or paid products whilst driving or operating machinery, or if you suffer from epilepsy, clinical depression or any other nervous or psychiatric conditions. The information provided is not a substitute for proper medical advice. If in doubt, please consult your doctor or licensed medical practitioner. Any decision you make having received any of Paul Clough's free or paid products are your own and you remain wholly responsible for any decisions and actions you take. Why not look for me and the podcast on > AND the app Castbox I'm also in YouTube - copy n paste UC3BlpN4voq8aAN7ePsIMt2Q into search bar The Libsyn podcast page http://personaldevelomentunplugged.libsyn.com tunein, learnoutloud, Google Play Music Music by from , Music by from , Music by from , >, Music by from , Music by from , And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism Personal development unplugged podcast where we use hypnosis Hey, the longer podcast. A longer podcast. The one of many. Hey, and this one is, the title says it all, doesn't it? Cloughie: How often do you consider the basics Back to the obvious, if you know what the obvious is. And I, think what I'm going to be saying. Things like, the shiny stuff doesn't really work that well, and it doesn't certainly last that well. But what do I mean by shiny stuff? Well, let's go back to the beginning, because the beginning is where all things start. How often do you consider the basics? What are you talking about, Cloughie? I mean, practicing the basics. Practicing the basics of the skills that you've already learnt, because you had to learn them in progression, baby steps, until you got them in the muscle. We used to call when we taught NLP, or when I used to teach NLP, getting those skills in the muscles so they become natural unconscious. And I'm even thinking now, the skills you learnt of being you, maybe what brought this to me a long time ago was my son Joseph and I went all the way to Edinburgh for a It wasn't class as an NLP, training, but it was. And it was Richard Bandler. Richard Bandler was taken. Richard Bandler is one of the co creators of NLP, along with John Grinder. But this was Richard Bandler's gig. He'd called it something else, but it was basically NLP under a different name. And we were going through the days and to be honest, Joseph and I weren't getting an awful lot out of this, seen a lot of it, okay. We were well into NLP. So a lot of the things we were being taught we really did know and we were training it. But what happens in these trainings, certainly in origin, bandler training, he would take someone from the audience and solve their issue on the stage right there. Right then, without knowing anything about it, he would just put his hand, people would, would put requests into, on a piece of paper, in a box. He'd put his hand out his box. Have a quick read. Yeah, this will do. This is a good one. And he was working with this guy. And to be fair, the things he was doing weren't really cutting it, they weren't getting there, they weren't getting that change that he wanted. And after about half an hour, 40 minutes of really cracking it and not cracking it, he stopped and turned to us in the audience and said, would it be okay if I go back to the basics of NRP? And Joe and I thought, what do you mean go back? He said, I'm just going to use the basics of NRP. And he did the things that we were teaching, he did the processes that we were teaching and had been taught right at the very beginning, the very basics. And you know what? He smashed that problem. That guy from being supersonically depressed in front of us was a different man. And that 1st 40 minutes was a drag. The next 25 minutes was absolutely magical. It wasn't magic, but it was magical. And the thing is, we teach the basics because the foundations, they are the foundations because they work and they work simply. And that's why I really go back into in simplicity, there's genius, because it is that. Genius is the thing that holds all our things together. And the thing is, I get reminders of this. I obviously got that reminder from Richard Bandler. Keep the basics, keep doing the basics. And then every now and again a book will come along. I told you before, things were happening. And all of a sudden I found this book online about the early days of NLP and how those foundations were, in those days, the great big things, and they just bloody work, so why change them? And then I'd see a video along the line, I'd just be doing something and then a video would come along and I go, it's a classic. And I'm thinking, that still works. Still works because the process works. And the intention is there. The intention from either, the therapist? Well, both the therapist and the client. You see, I heard this and this seemed to again, come back to this. A teacher makes complicated things simple. so a teacher makes complicated things simple where others, and this was called like a guru. But the people who put themselves up to be gurus try to make the simple complicated. And m it does and they do, don't they? I've been moaning about this forever. People making things so complicated and then calling them their own, and they're not. And you have to question their intention. Now think of this. You go to the gym. We know when we go to the gym, if we do the basics right, we do the technique as best as we can. It'll generally keep you free from injury unless you do too much of a weight or something like that. But if you keep the right technique, the really basic of that technique, you will lift or do, better things than you could before. And you just get stronger. And you get stronger without injury. And that gives you more confidence and thinking of things like our own skills, our personal development. We don't get injured. We want to come stronger inside, become more confident inside with inner strength, which means using the basics in our mind, the things that we've learned. Now, I know this happens, and it happened to me right at the very beginning of my little bit of NLP. And it happens to everybody who seems to want to learn it. To start off with, we tend to rush for the hacks. Now, this is not just NLP. Now you see it on YouTube. The quickest hack. Hack this, hack this, hack every bloody thing. It's a quick fix. People come and ask when they come on a training m. Oh, please, teach me the shiny techniques, those little things. No, you see, if you just know techniques, but you haven't got any basics. If something goes wrong, you haven't got a bloody clue what to do, because you just know the shiny bits you don't know what makes it shine, and you don't know how to add shiny bits together to link them, to move them. And this can be inside you too, you see, without the balance of sound foundations, when things don't go the way you really thought they would, you can find a way. You see, I can remember seeing my middle son, Luke. He's now a professional magician and a hypnotherapist, so he plays with people's minds in all sorts of ways. But before he became a member of the magic circle, he would practice the simple things over and over again, making this one card come to the top, one card into the pack come to the top, go behind his hand, just over and over again so he could do it without even looking. He literally got it into the muscles. And what about you? Us, me? Do we do that? Do we practice those foundations? Do we practice the simple things that they become so natural? We need to get those basics. We talk about baby steps and some people don't like the term I wonder, something to think about. This is always in this podcast. It's to muse and consider and reflect and then see how we can use those reflections, because we'll also even look at people and go, oh, thing is, you can do that because you're a natural, but you're seeing their shiny, real, their best reel. Like when you see Luke with his magic, you go, it's a natural. But I saw him practice and practice and practice just the small basics behind the scenes. And it's an intentional practice. It's not just, boring practice, it's with intention to get it under control, put it in the muscle, do exactly what you, want when you want it, know what you're doing, doing what you know. And it just happens that way because you get it in the muscle, you get it at an unconscious level. And then when you become conscious and unconscious, when you know what you're doing and doing what you know, you're a master, and you don't have to master everything. You master what you know, doing what you do, knowing what you, knowing what you do too. But does it have to be hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours? Of course not. See what I'm going to share with you in a minute? You're going to say, oh, cluffy for. That's so obvious. That's so obvious. Cloughie, I know that. An example. I want to get strong or I want to lose weight. So what I'm going to do is I'm going to go to the gym, but I'm only going to go once and I'm going to go eight to 10 hours straight. That's it. I'm going to hammer it out. All that time, do we do that? Well, some people do try, don't they? What happens to them? They get injured, they get damaged. It just doesn't work. And they get so despondent about it, they don't do it again because it's not appropriate, is it, to do that? Not at all. And there's no improvement when you do that. The only improvement is you're very much aware of the aches and pains. And the thought was, I don't want to do it anymore. Yes, I know. Sometimes we go to the gym and we have to push ourselves to our new personal best, but we don't do it every day. We need to get those basics. And don't we do similar things in different contexts? And sometimes we just don't do anything and wonder why things don't change. Some things, we just keep doing the same thing, over and over again and wonder why things don't change because of the way we're doing things. Or could we? Do you see, when I say over and over again, you might again. Sit down. I want to play the guitar. I want to play the guitar for an, hour and a half every day. Haven't played yet, but I want to play an hour and a half every day. I know when I did that, my fingers of my left hand were raw, pushing those strings down. They were like a cheese grater on my hand. Crazy. Did I enjoy it? Not a bit. Did I get better? No, I got worse through that period of time. When I came back to it, did I get better? No, I was frightened of it. I didn't get any confidence out of that. Now, you know that. You do know that because you're going to say cluffy. I know that. It's obvious. But what we could do, what we could do is just enough, and that's not just enough as an excuse, it's just enough to keep growing. We talk about baby steps and some people, I understand don't like the term. I'm doing baby steps. And they use that voice, by the way. They did baby steps. I'll call them little steps, little increments that makes it better for you because they're the steps that keep your interest. If they're too big, you get overwhelmed, you give up. But if you can have that goal in mind and the intention that what you expect to have happened, what you anticipate achieving and, what you want to have happen, you get that feeling of the wish fulfilled. And you put that into that step, each step slowly in pace for each session, and you begin to get your technique in the muscle. You begin to hone that way. And when that technique does get in the muscle, it becomes unconscious. And, what we can do is, it's the old 80 20% principle, but the other way around, we practice those basics 80% of that time, even if it's a short amount of time, and then do 20% new. And then you review where you are at the end of the week, and then you rinse and repeat, do it again, because you'll find even they think, well, I'm only doing the same 80%, but you're not. That 80% of those things that are in your muscle now are growing. You've got more techniques, you're better at it, so you get quicker at that, and you then do something new. And that new then becomes part of the 80%. And when you do look back and, we've talked about this before, look back to when you first started those sore fingers or whatever it was, you'll realize that this 80% you're doing now is so, much more surpasses that previous 80% by double. And that's a great thing. So then now we get stronger, we get more motivated, our self esteem gets higher. Take responsibility for your personal development by reviewing where you are Now, imagine applying it to your personal development. What are the things we want to do? Well, what do I know? Well, I got to have that goal in mind. I've got to be to see it, to see what I'll see, to hear what I'll hear, what will it smell like, what it will taste and get that feeling. And I hold that feeling in my mind and in my body. Maybe I'm going to anchor it, because I know anchoring now, we talked about that before, and then we use it. We find the right place. We just create an environment that's the best environment we can at that moment. If it's not the best, it's the best at that moment. We set our intention, all basics, and, when they're not working, just have a look and go, oh, I've moved away a little bit. Let's just go back. Now. If you did know that and you do it, that's bloody awesome. But if you're honest, we probably don't not know it. That is, we do know it, but we don't necessarily do it. or if we do know it and we do do it, we don't probably do it as consistently. I say that again, without a little stuttering in the middle. We don't do it consistently. And, it's that consistence, that resilience, that determination that this is where we take responsibility. We talk about cause and effect. The cause is greater than the effect. Well, if you take responsibility to create that cause, you are, now going to be creating better effects. And it all comes from you. And when it comes from you, you get more motivated yourself again, the self esteem gets better, you feel that inner strength because you become the cause, the cause of those increasingly better effects. And when you do that, you won't experience what we sometimes used to do in the past have. If, only I wish I'd. Can you think back? Or I wish I'd. Or only if I'd. If only I'd done that. I can remember thinking if I had practiced that guitar just for ten minutes every day for that last year, I'd be pretty good by now. But I didn't. I wish I did. And, I know this stuff and this is what I'm saying, I know it. But do I do it or do it consistently enough? No. And I think we need to do when we're doing those things when we've talked about before, by just reviewing where we are, reviewing what we want, making sure these are things we do, and then scheduling them out, taking responsibility and creating that life we want. So this could be for anything outside your life, the things that you want to do, the skills you want to learn, but also about yourself, working on yourself. And when you get there and you know you've got no regrets now. No regrets of. Only if I wish. If only I wish. Those regrets are gone now you can start looking back and going, now I know where I am and where I've gone or come from. And now where I am right now, what else can I do? Because if I could do that, I can do anything. It's like people who will go through my son's, Joseph's, mind mastery, getting rid of fears and anxiety, and we say to them, you've gone through that in a matter of weeks. What can you do now? Because you did that. You've gone through that course all by yourself. Well, not by yourself, though, supported by us. But you had to take responsibility to do all the work. You did it. You created this wonderful change in yourself. Now what could you do? What else? Because if you can do that, that's probably the hardest thing they could do. Now anything else becomes a breeze. And, I think when we do that, the one thing that we do, I just made a little note here, for goodness sake. Celebrate, celebrate every success. Doesn't matter how small that success is, how big it is, especially sometimes it's small. We go, oh, well, that's not yet, no, celebrate, celebrate big time. It could be big time. Just for 5 seconds. Yeah, I feel so good about that. Because you are now telling your unconscious mind, this is it. Forget ah, the bloody shiny stuff. I know it doesn't last. I know it doesn't work because the results are down to me. Yeah. How do I want to feel about this? I want you to feel, do you know? Yeah. It's time to put things right. It's time to create the stuff I want because I've got it in me. And this is how you get there. There'll be more of this, I know. On the longer podcast we'll carry on doing how to learn skills, how to put them in the muscle, some processes to let go of the negative, emotions or beliefs you have to stop you getting there. But this is part of the foundation. So, ah, maybe just review the things, you know, and then review do I use them? And how can you schedule in, continue using them and those the things you don't use. And remember, just be honest with yourself because can't kill a kidder and you can't kid yourself, you know. You can start creating massive change by just doing small baby steps So let's just take a moment or two while we're reviewing from the last podcast. Let's go back to the basics, back to the obvious, and start creating massive change by just doing those small baby steps, those little increments. And it doesn't matter where you are, how far you've come, there's still new increments to do to have lasting richness in your life. And in that way, I think you affect others. Well, I know you do, because you are actually being the change you want to be in yourself and see in yourself. But you're also being a change that you can see in others, because you are now the shining example. Just by doing it. People will see you, they'll notice you, they may even come and ask you questions, they may even ask you to...
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FMQ 428 Turning Pain Into Pleasure
01/24/2024
FMQ 428 Turning Pain Into Pleasure
Turning Pain Into Pleasure Some human beings find it today acceptable to inflict pain to others for gain and we're the only species that does that. And my musing in this episode is how can we reverse that in our little world? Instead of pain how can we inflict pleasure, happiness, and good STUFF on the people we meet, our friends and family? It's a short but sweet episode simply to get those cogs whirring and hopefully action. If you enjoy this episode feel free to share with one AND ALL And the YouTube link: Shine brightly Paul Please remember you can leave a comment or email me with questions, requests and feedback. If you have enjoyed this or any other episode please share and subscribe. Just email me If you want to subscribe to the podcast (I know you do) Remember for my specially designed programs for developing Supreme Inner Confidence, Free Your Life of Anxiety and specialize Hypnosis tracks go to If you want to access my FREE HYPNOSIS tracks go to Follow and inter-react on twitter @pcloughie I’m a therapist but not your therapist The information with this website or online work, techniques and exercises provided within these free and paid products are for educational purposes only. Do not use the techniques or exercises contained within some of these free or paid products whilst driving or operating machinery, or if you suffer from epilepsy, clinical depression or any other nervous or psychiatric conditions. The information provided is not a substitute for proper medical advice. If in doubt, please consult your doctor or licensed medical practitioner. Any decision you make having received any of Paul Clough's free or paid products are your own and you remain wholly responsible for any decisions and actions you take. Why not look for me and the podcast on > AND the app Castbox I'm also in YouTube - copy n paste UC3BlpN4voq8aAN7ePsIMt2Q into search bar The Libsyn podcast page http://personaldevelomentunplugged.libsyn.com tunein, learnoutloud, Google Play Music Music by from , Music by from , Music by from , >, Music by from , Music by from ,
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#374 Making Space
01/20/2024
#374 Making Space
Making Space and not just the one outside Some of us believe our environment is the last thing to concern ourselves with. If you believe in your skills and know you can do them then you know you can do them anywhere. That means no excuses. But what about our internal environment? Our state of mind or emotion to get peak performance has a crucial part to play, I'd probably say the most crucial. I'll explain that more clearly in this episode, promise. So whether it's being able to work with your goals and dreams, problems, decisions, self-work, or anything you want to do well I think this is the dogs' b's. :O) And we'll go deep into the things you can do to put yourself into the right state, emotion, in any environment so you can excel anywhere. That means no excuses. It's really simple and fun and works like a dream. So dive in and press play, it is a podcast after all Oh! sharing is good too Shine brightly Paul Please remember you can leave a comment or email me with questions, requests and feedback. If you have enjoyed this or any other episode please share and subscribe. Just email me If you want to subscribe to the podcast (I know you do) Remember for my specially designed programs for developing Supreme Inner Confidence, Free Your Life of Anxiety and specialize Hypnosis tracks go to If you want to access my FREE HYPNOSIS tracks go to Follow and inter-react on twitter @pcloughie I’m a therapist but not your therapist The information with this website or online work, techniques and exercises provided within these free and paid products are for educational purposes only. Do not use the techniques or exercises contained within some of these free or paid products whilst driving or operating machinery, or if you suffer from epilepsy, clinical depression or any other nervous or psychiatric conditions. The information provided is not a substitute for proper medical advice. If in doubt, please consult your doctor or licensed medical practitioner. Any decision you make having received any of Paul Clough's free or paid products are your own and you remain wholly responsible for any decisions and actions you take. Why not look for me and the podcast on > AND the app Castbox I'm also in YouTube - copy n paste UC3BlpN4voq8aAN7ePsIMt2Q into search bar The Libsyn podcast page http://personaldevelomentunplugged.libsyn.com tunein, learnoutloud, Google Play Music Music by from , Music by from , Music by from , >, Music by from , Music by from ,
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FMQ 427 Review Not Resoluting
01/17/2024
FMQ 427 Review Not Resoluting
FMQ 427 Review Not Resoluting or should it resolution? If you have listened to this podcast for a while you will know I am not a big fan of New Year's Resolutions, in fact not a fan at all. Why? Because to try to make changes by tradition on one day of the year which are almost doomed to fail seems like a waste. Especially when we have 365 days in most years to create positive changes in our lives and can do it every one of those 365 (that's forgetting leap years). So in this 5-Minute Quickie, I give you something to muse (and do) that I think beats NYR's hands down. Come with me and let's muse and notice the difference that I suggest could make in your personal development, which is why you're here I guess. Oh! And as usual please share: And the YouTube link to see the lovely me Shine brightly Paul Please remember you can leave a comment or email me with questions, requests and feedback. If you have enjoyed this or any other episode please share and subscribe. Just email me If you want to subscribe to the podcast (I know you do) Remember for my specially designed programs for developing Supreme Inner Confidence, Free Your Life of Anxiety and specialize Hypnosis tracks go to If you want to access my FREE HYPNOSIS tracks go to Follow and inter-react on twitter @pcloughie I’m a therapist but not your therapist The information with this website or online work, techniques and exercises provided within these free and paid products are for educational purposes only. Do not use the techniques or exercises contained within some of these free or paid products whilst driving or operating machinery, or if you suffer from epilepsy, clinical depression or any other nervous or psychiatric conditions. The information provided is not a substitute for proper medical advice. If in doubt, please consult your doctor or licensed medical practitioner. Any decision you make having received any of Paul Clough's free or paid products are your own and you remain wholly responsible for any decisions and actions you take. Why not look for me and the podcast on > AND the app Castbox I'm also in YouTube - copy n paste UC3BlpN4voq8aAN7ePsIMt2Q into search bar The Libsyn podcast page http://personaldevelomentunplugged.libsyn.com tunein, learnoutloud, Google Play Music Music by from , Music by from , Music by from , >, Music by from , Music by from ,
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#373 Months of Therapy - Really??
01/13/2024
#373 Months of Therapy - Really??
Months of Therapy - Really?? I believe therapy should be quick, easy, and comfortable and I have witnessed so many times I think I'm right. Even if I wasn't, and I am, it's the best belief a therapist can have along with 'my client can do this!' So what follows is a little Cloughie rant and then suggestions on how therapy can be quick, easy, and comfortable. I guess this rant happens once or twice a year when I hear people, some may call influencers and aren't we all, say things that don't help anyone suffering and in need of help. Let me know your thoughts and please share and guide others who need help Shine brightly Paul Please remember you can leave a comment or email me with questions, requests and feedback. If you have enjoyed this or any other episode please share and subscribe. Just email me If you want to subscribe to the podcast (I know you do) Remember for my specially designed programs for developing Supreme Inner Confidence, Free Your Life of Anxiety and specialize Hypnosis tracks go to If you want to access my FREE HYPNOSIS tracks go to Follow and inter-react on twitter @pcloughie I’m a therapist but not your therapist The information with this website or online work, techniques and exercises provided within these free and paid products are for educational purposes only. Do not use the techniques or exercises contained within some of these free or paid products whilst driving or operating machinery, or if you suffer from epilepsy, clinical depression or any other nervous or psychiatric conditions. The information provided is not a substitute for proper medical advice. If in doubt, please consult your doctor or licensed medical practitioner. Any decision you make having received any of Paul Clough's free or paid products are your own and you remain wholly responsible for any decisions and actions you take. Why not look for me and the podcast on > AND the app Castbox I'm also in YouTube - copy n paste UC3BlpN4voq8aAN7ePsIMt2Q into search bar The Libsyn podcast page http://personaldevelomentunplugged.libsyn.com tunein, learnoutloud, Google Play Music Music by from , Music by from , Music by from , >, Music by from , Music by from ,
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FMQ 426 Feeling Grateful But Differently
01/10/2024
FMQ 426 Feeling Grateful But Differently
Feeling Grateful But Differently I don't know if you're like me, I believe in the feeling of gratitude and how it connects to your unconscious mind the feelings of what makes your life rich. Maybe, like me, you get stale in writing out 'The Act of Gratitude' in your journal. To me, it can feel repetitive and rote. So in this 5-minute Quickie, I muse on how can I still notice the things I'm grateful for in a different way and I think you may enjoy and do it too. Please share And the all important YouTube link: Shine brightly Paul Please remember you can leave a comment or email me with questions, requests and feedback. If you have enjoyed this or any other episode please share and subscribe. Just email me If you want to subscribe to the podcast (I know you do) Remember for my specially designed programs for developing Supreme Inner Confidence, Free Your Life of Anxiety and specialize Hypnosis tracks go to If you want to access my FREE HYPNOSIS tracks go to Follow and inter-react on twitter @pcloughie I’m a therapist but not your therapist The information with this website or online work, techniques and exercises provided within these free and paid products are for educational purposes only. Do not use the techniques or exercises contained within some of these free or paid products whilst driving or operating machinery, or if you suffer from epilepsy, clinical depression or any other nervous or psychiatric conditions. The information provided is not a substitute for proper medical advice. If in doubt, please consult your doctor or licensed medical practitioner. Any decision you make having received any of Paul Clough's free or paid products are your own and you remain wholly responsible for any decisions and actions you take. Why not look for me and the podcast on > AND the app Castbox I'm also in YouTube - copy n paste UC3BlpN4voq8aAN7ePsIMt2Q into search bar The Libsyn podcast page http://personaldevelomentunplugged.libsyn.com tunein, learnoutloud, Google Play Music Music by from , Music by from , Music by from , >, Music by from , Music by from ,
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