Anxiety to Confidence - The Personal Development Unplugged Podcast
Anxiety to Confidence - The Personal Development Unplugged podcast. Dealing with all areas of anxiety, low self-esteem, fears to regain your confidence in all areas of your life, and being unique in using Hypnosis and NLP. Awarded one of the top 15 personal development podcasts A podcast for those wanting to let go of what holds them back through personal development but want it made simple and easy to understand and more importantly use, take action and make a difference to your life and the world you live in. If you want to change the way you feel and the way you act and react. If you have negative emotions, behaviors, that you want to lose forever and create something special in your life then I think you will like what you hear. In effect be the Real You Again! This genre of self-improvement, self-development, and mastery of your mind has, I believe, been made over complicated and secretive and here I am de-constructing the processes into their simple forms that we can all understand and easily use. There are no interviews just little ol’ me ;0) Who am I and what do I do?………Paul Clough. I now love helping making changes in people and to guide them to create the life they really want. A personal look at me: The above sentence was not always the case and being the best in the financial realms of the building industry was my aim and getting there by any means. I now know this is, and was, the worst way ~ even if I did make director of one of the largest building companies in Cambridge by the age of 30. One of the major realizations came on my first ever training in hypnosis. I found that it’s not a win-lose world and that a win-win is only a low basis to live. Being true to your beliefs and coming from a place of integrity where service is paramount. This understanding together with lots of NLP skills helped create my last partnership in the building industry grow from a turnover of £800k to £16m in less than twelve years and that can only be done with giving more than expected. Another shaping of me came from two traumatic events in my life that happened within six months of each other which created a number of major changes in me and my beliefs in what is possible. I have written about my experience and how I dealt with it but more importantly it really showed me my love for my three boys and theirs for me and resulted in the step up to become a trainer of NLP (which I never intended) and my close and exciting work with two of my sons. In supporting Joseph and help create change in people in our training’s and his wonderful life changing ‘Be your potential weekend’ and with Luke the continuing development of Cambridge Hypnotherapy and Hypnosis processes. My relationship with my third son Daniel just keeps getting better and better too. Not knowing how good I had become in change work, in the beginning, I generally studied, practiced, and saw clients then things started to happen when I started to work following just my instincts. Two clients come to mind both in effect dying from the effects of what was happening to them and the way they felt and within one and two sessions respectively not only won the will to live they changed virtually in front of my eyes and being apart of that process was and is the best feeling alive. The above are just three of the many brilliant learnings I have had in my life. The more formal bit Paul Clough I am a Trainer and Master Practitioner of NLP and Hypnosis and am passionate about assisting those who want to reach their full potential and his special skills form a unique foundation for success. I constantly seek and develop new skills and learning’s – through advanced levels of Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP), Time Line Therapy ™, Hypnosis and to improve everyone I work with. I have an understanding of the mind/body connection which enables me to create in my clients the difference that makes the difference ~ from excellence to outstanding. For those that want qualifications: Certified Trainer and Consultant of Neuro-Linguistic Programming Certified Master Practitioner of NLP & Time Line Therapy Certified Master Hypnotist and Hypnotherapist Together with Luke and Joseph I have consistently strived and succeeded to create ways to improve people's lives and give new beliefs of what’s possible. Our potential is without limits ~ infinite in every way.
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#434 Beyond the Noise -Creating Inner Peace with Self-Therapy
03/07/2025
#434 Beyond the Noise -Creating Inner Peace with Self-Therapy
Beyond the Noise – Finding Inner Peace & Self-Therapy Hey, my friend… ever feel like life is just too loud? Social media, the news, work, responsibilities—it’s like a constant buzz in the background, making it hard to think, let alone find peace. But here’s the thing: you can create calm amidst the chaos. In this episode, I share my journey to finding inner peace—those little moments of self-therapy that help me recharge and reset. And trust me, it’s not about escaping the world; it’s about taking control of your inner one. What’s Inside? 🔹 Why noise and distractions lead to anxiety & burnout 🔹 Simple self-therapy techniques to create your own quiet space 🔹 How journaling, mindfulness & reflection can bring clarity 🔹 The power of asking yourself the right questions This isn’t about being selfish—it’s about becoming the best version of you for yourself and those around you. So, are you ready to step beyond the noise and into a more peaceful, intentional life? Hit play and let’s do this together. Listen now and share what you learn by sharing the podcast: And hey, I’d love to hear from you. What do you do to find peace in the chaos? Leave a comment or send me a message! Shine brightly, Paul Shine Brightly 🌟 Paul Hey there! I’d love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at . Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review . Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit . Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to . Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure. Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on , Castbox, , YouTube, or on our . Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨ Music Credits Music by Wataboi, DreamHeaven, ccjmusic, and others from . And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism I'm a friend. Imagine this. Imagine having a quiet place. I had one and I used to call it my quiet place. It was in. In my garden back in Cambridge and it was by shed. There was a shed in a lean too and the garden was there. There was a barrel which was filled with water which had nothing in it apart from the odd frog would jump in or the toad would jump in now and again a few plants round it. But it was mine. It was my quiet place. I would go in the mornings, early morning in the first cup of coffee. My journal. Everything was quiet with the exception of birds. Yeah, there was a few sounds of the traffic going past but they seemed to block themselves out. And I could just, well just write my journal. But if ever I needed time to think I could just go to my quiet place. And it was like an anchor, an anchor for me to go. You re safe here Cloughie. You can ever think and maybe you'll find some answers. And that was my like way of creating inner peace. Then there was another way when I first started trainings and I had to get ready to get ready to be on stage as it were. And I knew I wasn't going to be like in presenter mode because that wasn't me. I wanted to be me but I wanted to get away from the noise. So what I did, I used to put on my headphones, turn on some wonderful music and just go for a walk. And It literally took everything away from me. The music was inspiring and I could breathe because I was out in the fresh air and I just got into the state of being Cloughie me because I got rid of everything. And again it was like getting out of the noise, beyond the noise, creating some type of inner peace but a different type of inner peace and I just did it. And that's what we're going to be talking about today. Or I'm going to be talking about the title beyond the noise. Creating inner peace and self Therapy. So what does that mean? You see there's so much noise. Isn't that so much noise all around and you get used to it. I bet if you listened around now you'd hear people talking too much maybe. Maybe there's a TV going on and there's so much noise in that tv. Bloody news and things like that or bonky bloody programs. You know these fly in the wal Type things, reality programs, which are no more reality than flying in the bloody air. You got your phone, a phone that used to be there for contacting people, but now it's on social media and there's so much in that social media that is basically just noise. Doesn't do any good. It's just there banging away and it's trying to find even more ways to give you more noise. You switch on the radio and there's someane bloody people there. Some of the things, if you actually listen to what they say, they are actually saying absolutely nothing, just noise. And maybe they're just people wanting your attention all the time. Now that could be a nice noise, but it's still noise, it's still distracting. And, the thing is, there's a rule. If you let that rule us, that's the rule. If you let that noise rule us, it will create anxiety, it will create overwhelm because you can't think of the things that are important because you've got that noise going on that can lead to depression because we're not getting our stuff done what we want to get done, or we feel the world is on top of us, that might even be panic because we're trying to do something. We've got so much interference coming on and then we might take up these weird behavior of ocd and they are just behavurs, by the way. Ocd, you know, attention is taken away. Ah ahdh. But it may not be that because it's just your attention is being sought for all over the bloody place. Pretty down, eh? Pretty down. So what's the answer? What's the answer? You might say cluy and I have the answer. Create inner peace. And that's all it is, it's that simple. Create inner peace. And if it was that simple, we'd all do it, wouldn't we? But the thing is, it's a wonderful excuse we give ourselves because I know what a lot of people say and they say it when they come to my therapy room. Oh, I can't give that time, I can't work on myself, I can't take time to be with myself. Because that's bloody selfish, isn't it? It's selfish, you know, I've got people to look after, I've got to do this, I've got to do that, I've got toa be there, gott be this back into overwhelm, back into anxiety, causing depression, all that stuff, you know. But it's not, it's not selfish, not selfish. One bloody bit. You see? Think of this. Think of this. We can think about the people we love first. There's a circle of people who we love and they love us. Yeah. Now, who would they rather be with? Would they rather be with you when you're stressed, when you're anxious, when you're overwhelmed, when you're depressed, when you're rushing around right, left and center and not really giving anybody any attention at all? Or, would they prefer to be around you when you're feeling a little bit more like yourself because you've had a little bit of inner peace, you've created time for yourself and you feel better in yourself? And the thing is, when you do that, you feel better in yourself every time you do it. And you gets better and better and better. You deal with things because it's self therapy. You therapize yourself. I know that's a not a word, but it is now. And you feel better in yourself and they're around you and they feel better now because they're around you. And guess what? That does. It makes you feel better, makes you feel more happy, more cantered, more whatever. And they get to have that too. It's selfish if you don't take time for yourself, I say So it's selfish, I think, and this is what I tell my clients, it's selfish if you don't work on yourself, if you don't take time for yourself. That's the selfish thing. Because you're not giving those people who you love the best version of yourself at that time. And, you can also apply that to career, to work, to even people who, you know, we call them love, but you like them. But if you're not centred in your own self, you're still not given your best version of yourself at that time. It may not be the best of the best of the best, but it's the best you can get at that time for them. You're not there listening, you're not there with them, you're not there, you know, connecting in the way that is so nice. All because you thought it was selfish. Self therapy is where you do it yourself, for yourself, on yourself So what is this concept of self therapy? Let's go into that. Now. You. How does it differ from normal therapy? Well, it's a little bit in the title, isn't it? Ah, old common sense and hiding in plain sight is all there. Self therapy is. You do it yourself, for yourself, on yourself. But it's not really therapy therapy. It's time to breathe, maybe time to disengage, disengage from the noise. It's time to explore. I mean, real therapy is one to One you've got someone there who's gonna maybe push you to explore. But that's sometimes because you have an issue. It could be one to many. You go to, a therapy group and it gives you support. And I see this podcast and the reason I do it is because not only is it therapy therapy, I think it is because I'm coming from it, from a therapeutic nlp, hypnosis and all that hypnotherapy background, but it's also giving ways to therapize yourself, self therapy. But it is really just giving yourself a little bit of time, but time away from that noise because you can't. I find it really difficult if you're in the noise and you're trying to explore your thoughts. Because sometimes with the noise you don't even realize there's thoughts to explore. And when you sit down quietly and you ask yourself proper questions, you know, what do I want? What do I want? How do I wantn feel? What is troubling me? Ca Because they don't have to be big issues, do they? But things can trou trouble you and they may not be the things that you would go and see a therapist about. I just need to speak to somebody. So what, how am I feeling? How would I approach it? I wonder what they want. All those wonderful questions. If you then go inside and think you're creating that inner peace and you're using inner peace to explore the answers that you need. Because when you give yourself space, it's either your unconscious mind or the universe or multiverse or whatever it is, they'll supply the answers to you. Yeah. So that's sort. I think that's where we're going. We want to make use of this inner peace creating inner peace and learning to explore ourselves and in a gentle way, because you have all the answers. You just don't know you know, but you do know and you give yourself the space to do so. M. so what are the techniques? And I don't like the word techniques. I did write it down then I wrote the word practices of creating in the priest because I thought that sounded a lot more better. A lot more better, yeah. But it really is what you know. How well, how do we create this inner peace now you could, a bit like me, have that quiet place. Creating your own quiet place, a place to go. A place to go where you know you'll be undisturbed. It may have the music you want, might be the ambience that, just anchors or triggers off inner piece in yourself and that time and space two to have therapy on yourself to think. Now I've done a lot of work on this and hash332 was about going and finding peace in your mind. I've talked about my quiet place and I think that might be hash. I think 211 I'm not sure but just search by quiet place. There's some hypno from fmq82 about going to that quiet place in your mind. So there's lot of tools you can use already. So you either search the back catalog or go to the hypnosis tracks and you'll find them. Where do you get that hypnosis? I'll explain it at the end. Yeah, I'll just explain it at the end. And we won't interrupt now. But there's also On my premium tracks on poolclugonline.com There's a premium hypnosis track about creating your inner palace. And it's called inner Sanctuary, your inner sanctuary retreat which is creating that quiet place in your mind where you can then go. So they’ all the tools you can make or have at your disposal. And there's more. You see the practices of mindfulness. You can get some lovely apps on. On that bloody phone of ours. But some things are really good. You know, guided meditations, books about being mindful, mindful techniques because when you're mindful of things, you're aware of the noise may be even more and you re also wear when it's quiet and you set times to be mindful. You know, along with those guided meditations you've got those hypnosis tracks again. They'll be at the end. Journaling is great for self therapy and inner peace What else could you do? Well, I love journaling. Journaling for me first thing in the morning is awesome because it's. I'm in a quiet place. I'm in my kitchen normally but there's no one around ca because they're still asleep most of the time because I get up pretty early, get my cup of coffee, get my journaling and I just do it. And I've been doing it for donkey years. Over 25 years I've been doing it most mornings miss very few. And I use it for sometimes a mind dump. And the mind dump is very similar to the artist's way. If you look up that book the artist's way, can't remember the author and it's all about just filling up. They have like four pages of just letting your mind dump every day. And I Did that for a few months. But sometimes in my journaling, it might be a min dump, just getting stuff out. Or I might explore things, how do I feel today? Or I've got something I'WRITE and I'll get a feeling, oh, that's different. I wonder what this is. And instead of just saying it in my head, I'll write it down. I wonder what this feeling is. I wonder what it's trying to say to me. Oh, it's changed. And I'll write that down. Or if I want, what do I want to do? What am I not doing this that's stopp me doing these things? or what am I doing that's stopping me doing these things? So that is like self therapy and a quiet place all in one go. So it's not just creating that inner peace. Well, it is creating inner peace, it's doing everything. Self therapy and inner peace. So journaling is a wonderful thing to do, whether you do it just by writing. Writing is great because writing is thinking, but thinking in a different way. It's deep thinking, I think. Yeah. What else could you do? There's so many. By the way, the wonderful thing is go and walk in nature. And you might say, oh, there's no nature here. Just walk. At worst, just walk. You'll find a tree. You'll find a tree to hug or talk. Talk to a tree. It works though. but just go walk. Ca because that is a wonderful place, isn't it? It's a wonderful place to walk. You, know, beyond the noise, it creates inner peace. It's like another quiet place. Yes. There'll be noise around, there'll be people there, but they disappear. When you just intend to find that inner peace in a walk, you can do it through exercise. Now, yoga is a wonderful thing because you're doing a mindful thing as well. Very meditative or meditation. Like if you do yoga. In some ways, some people need to go to the gym because it gets them away from the noise. Now, it gets them away from the noise, but I think sometimes it's not really that therapy. You're not really creating inner peace, but you are getting through and beyond the noise. And that could be a great start because it breaks a pattern. Breaks a pattern, gets you away from the noise. And even when, then when you come away from the gym, you sit, and if you've gone by car or something, like, however you get there, you could just stop for a moment and start creating that inner peace for yourself. reading, giving your Time to read, but read with intention. Read to maybe learn, read to create something, to be inspired. Set a particular time so you're creating that, you know, that quiet place to be able to read. So tell people that's it. This is my time. We'll go into that in a minute. But reading can be great, even if it is fiction. It gets your mind going from, from other places. It can be so good. Just generally writing, you might want write. So instead of journaling, which is for me, my morning habit, but sometimes just writing, you know, writing my notes for the podcast really gets me to think, really gets me to be in the flow, as it were. It's an inner piece for me, but it's also self therapy. All this is self therapy, by the way, if you've noticed. These are all the things that either I do and I've had to do because of things, or I'm being troubled or I'm going through issues or things are, disturbing my life and I want to make it differently. And as I find different things, I'll share it with you or, or it'll make me share it with you because I find the solutions because I want to share it with you. So there's writing. Let just s get a book to write. You can get creat a, creative book. All different types of books. You know, my little puzzle book and things like that. Just things, but just writing. Maybe writing about your life of the past. Just set a few minutes aside because you'll create that quiet space and it will be some self therapy. And I guarantee you it'll be self therapy because you're learning. What can I learn from this? And the minor one, which is the big one. Put that bloody phone away for a bit. Take the apps off it. Take the apps that you keep clicking and looking or put them on another page so you don't see them. But put the phone away for a little while. Put it in the other room. Go to that special place, create that quiet place for you. The only time I have my phone in a quiet place is to play music. That's it. So there's so many different ways. Seven ways you can create quiet places into peace and get yourself therapy That was seven different ways you can create quiet places in a peace and get yourself therapy. Yeah, seven. How many can you come up with? Because if you do, let me know. I like to know the different ways that you practice creating inner peace for yourself and get that CE sell therapy. Please email me personaldevelopmentplug.com. no, it isn't at all. Is it cluy. No, it isn't. It's [email protected]. and I'll do another blooming episode of different ways that we can create in a piece and get our own self therapy. I know you've got stuff that, that I haven't thought of things at work, and I'd love to model it and then share it with as many people who listen. Let's share it with the other four people here. But the thing is, what if. Let's do the what if obstacles now. Some of the obstacles we get about creating this inner peace and doing self therapy is that bloody'self talk. We have the negative self talk and just change it and change it in so many different ways. Remember, you know, write this down. This is not selfish. This is important. It has value to both you and everyone around you. It is so ecological for you to find inner peace. Creating inner peace. And that self therapy, finding time for yourself. So if you get that, negative self talk, if you really wanted to, with a little NLP trick, change the bloody tone of the voice. If it's a male voice, change it to a female voice. If it's a female voice, change it to a male voice. But change it into a...
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FMQ485 The Real Question To Ask About Anxiety to Let It Go
03/04/2025
FMQ485 The Real Question To Ask About Anxiety to Let It Go
The Real Question To Ask About Anxiety to Let It Go Let's get musing about anxiety and why looking at the effects of anxiety is a good thing - because it isn't And so many do and then try to do something about the effect of anxiety and it simply doesn't work or last and usually gets worse. So in the next 5 or so minutes, lets discuss the one thing that does work and is affective. I'll share with you questions that break free of the grasp that your anxiety has on you. Have a listen then join me on longer and deeper dives please share and make my day :O) Shine Brightly 🌟 Paul Hey there! I’d love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at . Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review . Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit . Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to . Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure. Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on , Castbox, , YouTube, or on our . Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨ Music Credits Music by Wataboi, DreamHeaven, ccjmusic, and others from . Personal development [self improvement] [self development] [NLP] [Hypnosis]
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#433 Unshakable Self-Confidence
02/28/2025
#433 Unshakable Self-Confidence
Unshakable Self-Confidence A Journey of Self-Discovery Welcome back to the Personal Development Unplugged Podcast! In this episode, we dive deep into unshakable confidence, exploring the idea that confidence is not something to be installed but rather reawakened. If you struggle with feelings of unconfidence, this episode is designed just for you. Join me, Paul Clough, as I share my journey from being an introvert who stumbled over words in front of small groups to confidently speaking in front of hundreds. You'll discover the transformative power of recognizing your competence and how it can lead to genuine self-confidence. In this episode, we will cover: The importance of understanding the messages behind unconfidence and how they serve a purpose. How to change your emotional state and the impact it has on your physiology and behaviours. Identifying counterexamples of when you felt confident and competent. Practical exercises to anchor feelings of curiosity and learning. Steps to rekindle your inner confidence and take small, manageable actions toward your goals. By the end of this episode, you'll have the tools to shift your mindset, embrace your skills, and take confident steps forward in your life. Remember, confidence is not about being overconfident; it's about being comfortable in your own competence. Ready to transform your unconfidence into unshakable confidence? Let's get started! And then please share what you learn - Confidently Shine Brightly 🌟 Paul Hey there! I’d love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at . Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review . Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit . Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to . Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure. Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on , Castbox, , YouTube, or on our . Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨ Music Credits Music by Wataboi, DreamHeaven, ccjmusic, and others from . And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism Hey, it's me, Paul, back with personal development. Unplugged, the longer podcast and this time we're talking about unshakable confidence. But we're not going to be installing confidence in you because you don't need it. We're a reawakening. So if you do suffer from unconfidence, this is the place to be because we've got toa dive into lots of stuff. Being comfortable in your competence equals self confidence But first I want to tell you a story because if I can do this, if I can change from what I'm gon to tell you, you bloody can too. You see, quite a long time ago I was an introvert. I still, I am m an introvert but I'm a confident introvert now. But I used to stumble over my words in front of three people. I wouldn't want to speak, I'd back away. Anything over three, you, ah, wouldn't see me for dust, you know, it'd be terrible, absolutely terrible. The heart would race. I'd be thinking about what I'm trying to say in the bad way and therefore I wasn't listening. I was seeing it in my mind of it going wrong. And it did and it felt bloody terrible. But then a little while later when I started my NLP trainings and we didn't work on this by the way, but it just, things seemed to just happen. I was talking to over 60 people in a room about how I modelled approaching a bloody horse because horses used to frighten me and I modelled from someone who liked horses how to approach a horse without being frightened. And it worked. But that aside, I spoke and I had notes and guess what? I put those notes down because I didn't need them and I talked to those 60 people just as they were with me. And that was quite awesome and I didn't realize it at the time how much had changed. Fast forward a few more years and you'd see me speaking about change work and doing change work demonstrations on a stage which I used to hate in front of 130, 150 people all in one go in this auditorium. There I am on the stage doing a demonstration with somebody showing how you to do change work just like this. It's awesome and I loved it. I would sit on that stage and tell stories to people, the whole auditorium tell stories about my dog and they're all lovely metaphors And I was just, wasn't overconfident. I was just comfortable. That's what it was, comfortable. Now if I can do that and I look back at that, and I say to myself, well, I could do anything, but that's slightly overconfident. But I can do anything if I set my mind to it. Which means preparing and doing, doing all the homework that you need to have to hone the skills and things like that. I had to know those demonstrations. I had to know how to do it, what to do and then have confidence in my competence. And that's what it comes down to. Being comfortable in yourself. Okay, so how do we build our confidence? My confidence? Your self. We call it self confidence because it is confidence in yourself. You know, overconfidence is just going toa do anything without even thinking, oh, I can do that. You know, come and fly a plane with me. I can fly. Well no, actually you can't. But if you've got the competence and you have the skill, then we find the confidence to use that skill. So that's where we're going in this dive down the rabbit hole of being comfortable, being comfortable in our competence. Because when you're comfortable in your competence, that equals self confidence. You're aligned. Lovely word, congruent. Yeah, that's where we're gonna go. We're gonna recognize. Recognize there as s a message in unconfidence. That fear, anxiety, panic attacks, everything like that. There's a message there somewhere, somewhere. And it has a purpose. It's coming from your unconscious mind, by the way. And that's where we're going to go. And we're going to be able to listen to that message. And when we listen to that message, we're going to change our state, change our emotional state. Because when we change our emotional state, we change our physiology. We change the pictures in our mind, we even change that little voice in our head. And that changes our behaviours. And that's what we want, isn't it? Because being unconfident is just restricting your behaviours. Restricting using the skills you've already got. And we want to change that behaviour. So being unconfidence, unconfident is just a behaviour. So if we change our emotions, our state, our physiology and the pictures which we have in our mind, and by the way, you only need to change one to change the other two. And that voice changes by itself anyway. We're going to change that behavior. That's where we're going. And we're going to let go of unconfident thoughts and we're going toa find a way to competence because you've got it anyway. You know, I always tell you, whatever you think you are, you're more than that. You just, we've just had something knock us away. And it's, it's just a message, just a behavior. And you can change behaviors in a moment. Unconfidence is a direct conflict between your unconscious mind and your conscious mind so let's have a think. Let's have a think. Sometimes we think unconfidence is random, but it's not. It isn't random. It has a purpose. It has what we call, in NLP terms, a positive intention. It's your unconscious mind trying to do something positive for you. And we talk about this so much, and this is the core of a lot of my work. It's your unconscious mind doing something that it found way back sometimes in your past. Well, it would be in your past something you didn't like for you. And it created this feeling of unconfidence. And therefore it stopped you doing things and it stopped you doing things. And go to the furthest degree and it stop you getting killed. That's do purple. But it did stop you getting hurt. Hurt, maybe physically hurt, maybe, emotionally, like being embarrassed, being guilty. But the thing is, and you can think of other, other, emotions that go with that, by the way. You know, you think about when you're feeling unconfident, what are the things, what feelings, what emotions do you have? If you were to put a label on them, what would they be? And it could be embarrassed, it could be guilt, it could be hurt, could be fear. Don't worry, we're going to go into that. But you see, when you see that, when you understand that your unconscious mind is protect you from these things. But how do you bloody feel when you're unconfident? Well, for me, when I was unconfident, I felt hurt, I felt embarrassed, I felt guilty. Guilty becausee I wasn't doing the stuff I wanted to do. That's where that guilt comes from for me anyway. And that means there's a direct conflict because I had the skills, but I wasn't showing them. But I was actually feeling the feelings, what my unconscious mind was trying to protect me from, from being hu, embarrassed, feeling guilty. And when I feel those feelings and I have the fear, maybe the panic, the anxiety that goes with it. And that's why this podcast is anxiety to confidence, because they're all inextricably. It's a lovely word again, they're linked. You see, it's not safe to be in those negative emotions and the behavioiors that come from them and the limiting beliefs that come along with them. You know, because I'm now embarrassed to fail. I'll never, I'm failing anyway. I feel like a failure because I'm not doing the stuff I want to do. And that's a direct conflict. And the thing is, we need to notice that conflict. And when I say we, I mean you and your unconscious mind and you starts consciously because we have to say, this is how I feel. And it's not a good feeling. It's not a safe feeling. Because when I'm like this, especially if I have some anxiety, I start to do things which are a bit weird. I’m not weird weird. But, you know, I don't do things that are maybe sensible, you good decisions, good choices, and I get those negative emotions. So we notice a conflict. There's a direct conflict of what your unconscious mind is trying to do for you, protect you from. And it's feeling the same way, getting you to feel the same way that it's trying to protect you from it. And, once your unconscious mind can recognize that, it's got to change. And this goes for every negative emotion, every negative belief or limiting belief and behavior that goes with it. When there's a direct conflict, your unconscious mind has got to go. It has a hr sys moment and he go do dous. It's got to find better ways. But he doesn't know better ways. He just knows this way sort of works. Or it did work a long time ago when you was a little icle boy or littleickleickle girl and you didn't have any wisdom, you didn't have any experience, and it did what it did and it just keeps doing the same thing over and over again, but more intense. So once we not notice a conflict, and it's pretty simple because, you know, this feeling doesn't feel good, does it? And if it doesn't feel good, your unconscious mind isn't protecting you because you should feel comfortable. Even when we stretch ourselves beyond our comfort zone for familiar zone, we're still pretty comfortable because we know we're going to use their skills. We also know that no one's go going toa die. We're going to just, you know, all we're doing is going to speak to a group of people. It's not too bad. All we're going toa do is maybe speak on a podcast. What we're going toa do is write something down and show it to people. Or we're going toa do some drawing artwork, we're going toa make music, we're going toa go and meet people. Not that big a deal. But it's got to be m. When it's not that big a deal, when you're comfortable with it because it's part of your life, then part of the richness of life. So we notice a conflict. So what we can do is. Okay, let's think about this. Now I know what my unconscious mind is trying to do for me, trying to protect me from and get that feeling. I want you to find what we call counterexamples, counter examples where you were confident. And when I say confident, I mean confident in a way that you successfully did something. Because if you were overconfident, you would have burnt and crashed and crashed and burn. Yeah. So it's not one of those times because sometimes when we're overconfident, that's when our unconscious mind goes woo. We're not going to let that happen again. Let's bring that unconfidence in to bring dial it down. But it dials it down too much. So we're going toa look for some counter examples. When you were skilled, when you were competent, when you are actually using the skills that you've learned to the level that you've got. So think back in the past. And the thing is, they do not need to be in the same context. They really don't. Because when you're confident, you're confident. When you're competent, you're competent because it has a wonderful positive belief that supports you being that way. So once you start to notice, just one at a time, by the way, don't think of all at once because it's too much of a generalization. I want you to be specific. Think of a time in the past when you were, competent, when you were confident in yourself and got a good result and you enjoyed it. It's got to be enjoyed it as well. Successful result and you enjoyed it. And just write them down, Please write them down and just down, I'd have to a whole page, just a few lines, maybe one or two lines to notice what it was and how you felt. And the thing is, when you write it down and know you're gonna say, oh, Paul, I don't want to write it down, but write it down because you're interpreting in a different way the pictures you make in your mind. So you're seeing your pictures, you're writing the words. You're checking the words to check that there as the picture you're describing. And it's really getting into your unconscious mind now because it's recreating that feeling because it will. It will recreate that feeling that you had. And you'll notice when you. Think of another one that you successfully did Well, I did enjoy that, actually, when I think about it, I was comfortable. Comfortable in being me? Yeah. Okay. There might be a little bit of nervousness because I was stretching myself, but I was still pretty comfortable about it. I was sort of confident I could do this because I had the skills to do it. I wasn't being overconfident because it was a successful completion and I did enjoy it. And then do another one. Think of another one, something else that you successfully did. Then another one. Maybe get three, maybe four. And notice as you think of each one of them, what was the belief I must have had about myself? And it'll be a very simple, subtle belief. Things like, I've got this, but I can do this. It's that type of belief, and it's not, I can do this. I think now I can do this. There is a real solid core belief there. I can do this. I've got this. And just notice that. Okay, so do that for me. Because then we're gonna move on to the how M. Yeah, the how. The how to listen and feel about what your unconscious mind is trying to do for you. Think of a time when you were just curious to learn something And to do this, we need to break a state, whatever state you're in. And I don't care what state you're in, because you're not in that unconfident mood at the moment, but you're just here with me. I want you to think. Just wait a minute. Stop for a moment, take a breath and pause. And then after that pause, I want you to think of a time in your life you were just curious to learn something. We've all had that. Oh, this book. This little book looks interesting. I'm curious. I'm gonna learn something from this. Look at a YouTube video or something that someone'stt you. Let's get that word right. Cloughie taught you because you were curious. Maybe a little bit excited, but pretty calm as well, I guess. Go back to that time now in your mind. If it's okay, just close your eyes. If it's okay to do that. And make sure it's totally, totally, totally safe to close your eyes. You can do it with your eyes open. But sometimes your distractions are there. Ah. So if you can just get. I going to take a minute. Close your eyes. Be safe. No driving, obviously. And if it's safe to do so, close your eyes and go back to that time. Go just back into that body of yours, back into that time, into that memory as if you were relive it now. See what you saw, hear what you heard and feel that feeling of curiosity. Calm. I maybe a little bit of excitement. Curiosity. And as you do that a get your thumb and a finger and squeeze it together and just say to yourself, I'm curious. I'm gonna learn. And then let those fingers go apart and then feel that feeling again. Make it more intense. And as it gets more intense, you squeeze that finger and thumb together. Yeah, I'm curious. I'm goingna learn. That's for the words you say. And you can do that for just every now and again as that feeling gets more intense, the same finger and thumb together. I'm curious. I'mnna learn something. And then open your eyes and come back into this wonderful life of ours. And when you squeeze that finger and thumb together again and say, I'm curious, I'm gonna learn. Can you feel that feeling come back again? Because we've just set an anchor and you've just fired an anchor. So we've got to keep that, that's in our back pocket. Okay. So I want you to keep practicising that. Go back to other times in the past when you've been curious and learn something. Go back in there, do the same process. And when you feel that feeling, same finger and thumb together. Mmm, I'm m curious. I'm going to learn something. So we're really just, we're stacking this anchor to make it so powerful of into curiosity. Put that in our back pocket. It's a metaphor, by the way. You don't have to put your hand in your back pocket. What specifically are you unconfident in or about And then I want you to think now let's go really specific. Specificity. Because I, know people go, well, I'm just an unconfident person. No, that's balls. You can stand on two feet. You're pretty confident standing on your two feet. You are pretty confident saying you're unconfident. So, you know, what specifically are you unconfident in or about? Really get specific. And really once you get well, you know, it was this. No, it's actually just meeting people because what's happened is it's generalized into other areas. So we've really got to come back to the one thing that you're Unconfident in. Why is that real specific thing? Take a bit of time. It will come. Because you're asking your unconscious mind, what is this but real specific thing? And there's no wrong answer. Because you can keep working on this. It's not cast in stone. And then when you get there and think this, what do you think might happen? Not will happen, because that's what you've been thinking before, what might happen. Because when you think of what might happen, you can actually look at it from a different perspective. Go, really? Will it really? And, maybe you want to think, m. Well, that could happen, I suppose, because some of the things we...
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FMQ 484 A Quick and Easy Way to Rebuilding Self-Esteem and Self-Confidence
02/25/2025
FMQ 484 A Quick and Easy Way to Rebuilding Self-Esteem and Self-Confidence
A Quick and Easy Way to Rebuilding Self-Esteem and Self-Confidence A short muse to find ways to access your self-esteem and confidence in yourself quickly. Yes, this follows on from a longer episode where I did a deep dive into this topic and I believe it's good to have short reminders to nudge our way back to our potential. It's only 6 minutes 34 seconds to realise you are more than you think you are coming in the form of two small daily changes you can make easily. Dive in, get your cup of coffee, tea or whatever tickles your fancy and I guarantee you feel awesome!!!!! Please share If you want to see the video of me recording this click on this Shine Brightly 🌟 Paul Hey there! I’d love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at . Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review . Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit . Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to . Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure. Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on , Castbox, , YouTube, or on our . Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨ Music Credits Music by Wataboi, DreamHeaven, ccjmusic, and others from . Personal development [self improvement] [self development] [NLP] [Hypnosis]
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#432 Unshakeable You - Re-Building Low Self-Esteem Part 2
02/22/2025
#432 Unshakeable You - Re-Building Low Self-Esteem Part 2
Unshakeable You - Re-Building Low Self-Esteem Hey, hey! Fancy seeing you here again – welcome back! This is where the magic happens, the second leg of our adventure into reigniting that inner spark, your self-esteem. And no fluff here — just down-to-earth, practical stuff to help you step back into your personal power. So grab yourself a brew, maybe a notebook, because we're about to explore some game-changing strategies to reconnect with who you really are and get that confidence flowing again. Here’s what we’re diving into today: Self-Compassion Over Empathy: How would life shift if you treated yourself like your best mate? Yeah, we’re talking proper kindness – none of that harsh self-talk nonsense. Discovering What Matters: You know those core values lurking under the surface? Let's dig them up and see how they can guide your choices. Small, Doable Goals: Forget the overwhelming "must-change-everything-today" mindset. Let’s take one tiny, meaningful step at a time. Redefining Criticism: Flip the script on those voices — whether they’re your own or someone else's — and use them to grow instead of shrink. The Gratitude Hack: Bet you didn’t know gratitude could turbocharge your self-esteem, did you? Let’s tap into that. This isn’t about becoming someone else — it’s about reconnecting with you and owning your brilliance. No one’s got time for fake transformations. We're doing the real deal, simple and effective. Sound good? Right then — let's dive in and make it happen. Listen now and start moving towards that unshakable you. Shine Brightly 🌟 Paul Hey there! I’d love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at . Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review . Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit . Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to . Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure. Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on , Castbox, , YouTube, or on our . Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨ Music Credits Music by Wataboi, DreamHeaven, ccjmusic, and others from . And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism Part two of Unshakable You, rebuilding low self-esteem He my friends. So this is part two. Part two of unshakable you, the rebuilding, rekindling of low self esteem. And we're gonna go into the things that are really gonna get you to find that self esteem again, to rekindle it, to f the flame and to be the you you really mean to be. I meant to be, deserve to be. So have a good listen, get your paper and pen out because there'll be stuff to do, stuff to think about, and hopefully. No, no, hopefully it'll make such a difference to you. Enjoy. Let's get back into it now. A little bit of the how now. So it's all about rebuilding. I've initially I made the note, let's start building unshakeable self esteem. But it's all about rebuilding. And I've got another longer podcast to do that as well about building unshakable confidence. And self esteem. And confidence seem to come together. I want to deal with self esteem, not the confidence bit But here's the thing. I want to deal with self esteem, not the confidence bit, because that comes next. First of all, I want you to feel so good about yourself and, going, on from that little tip I had about that self talk. Would you talk about this to your. Like this to your best friend? Here's the thing you can do. And I thought I heard about it and it was so good. And it's like having compassion for yourself, not bloody empathy, because empathy is feeling the feelings of somebody else and you're feeling those feelings anyway. Why the did you want to feel them again? If you notice, and when you notice you're doing something which is one of those pitfalls, I want you to stop and, not think, well, how would I talk to my best friend? I want you to actually talk to yourself as if it was your best friend. Sometimes it's a matter of just stepping one step to the side. Change your position, your physical position, and look in that place where you were standing and go, hey, we can do this. This is what I advise you to do. I'm your best friend. And it's a great. We call them pattern interrupts. You hear me talk about that so much. Getting out of that mindset very quickly. Just like that, step to the side, look at yourself, and then guide yourself as if you were talking to your best friend. Hey, is that the really way you want to speak about yourselfus? You're more Than that. Think about those times in the past. What do you want to do? How can we do this? Let me give you some advice from a best friend. What's the first smallest step we could do? Yeah, Change your physiology. Why don't you breathe a bit? Ah, that's it. Get that breath going. Let's start looking at life differently. That's how you'd speak to a best friend. So literally out loud, speak to your best friend. You with compassion. And that works it really. I heard about this and I thought how stupidly simple that is and how brilliant it is. And when to say stupidly. It's just stupidly in the way that that's how most people would see it. But it's not. It's so simple. And in simple. Say again? In simplicity there's genius. And it makes so much sense because you're talking to yourself anyway. Said don'm be embarrassed. And talking to yourself out loud, you'do it on the inside, buddy, do it on the outside. So instead of thinking what would I say to a friend? Bloody say it to yourself. Step aside and give yourself some compassion. That's what we want to do. That's one thing. What are your values? Explore your values. Sit down for 5 minutes and write them down Now one of the other things, And I think this is a great place to start. That was a. That was like an add on from the other one. So that's where you've gotta catch yourself. But here's the thing. Starting from the beginning of a thought. What are your values? Whooo. Paul. Where did that come from? What are your values? Explore your values. Because you've forgotten them. They're over there because you've put that like fog, that misty thing you've been looking through and you've forgotten the true values that you have. I think I know I did. And I really had to look at mine. What are my values of me? And I went through quite a lot but. And basically you just throw out what's important to you in life and then you just say to yourself on that list of, on a page of paper, you write them all down. If I can only have one, what would be the only one I'd had if I couldn't have any of the others? What was the most important one? And it jumps out of you. So it's not the first one that comes to mind, it's when you've got them all out. Cause sometimes when you think about your values, the first ones come to mind are the ones you've always thought about. But when you just keep pushing yourself a little Bit further. Your unconscious mind comes up with your values, and you look at that and you go, ah, that's the one. If I could only have that in my life. No more. That's one I'd live by. And you write that down in big, wonderful letters. Then you look at the back of your list again. I think I've done a podcast on values again. Search. Search in the podcast. I think I'd, do it on my. On the website. Personal development Unplugged. I think there's a search button M there. And there's also. I know on Castbox, the orange one. There's a search button there. I'm sure if you put values, you'll notice I've done a values thing there. But you could do that. What's the next thing? If we could only have one more out of that. What's left? And you write that down and then you go, I really want three. And there's a few left. What is. If I could only have one more, none of the rest, one more, what would it be? So you get your top three, and you look at those three. I've now got them in order of sorts. And what were mine? I'll tell you what min are. truth, honesty. And I've noticed now that my values have changed because kindness comes into it now. And when I look back, Was there being truthful about myself? No, I bloody wasn't. Was I being honest with myself? No, I bloody wasn't. Was I being kind to myself? Well, I was trying to be. By hiding. That was a positive intention. I don't want to have this feeling anymore. So I felt like I was a waste of space. I couldn't handle it. Who, am I now not supporting my family? I wasn't kind, was it? Because it was certainly untrue, but it wasn't honest. And because of those, now I know those. And they've been with me since then. And it was a long time ago until I brought these out. And they're still true to me now, you know, if people aren't truthful, honest and, kind, I don't really want to know them that much. I'll keep them at distance. But if you come to me with being an honest person, a truthful person and a kind person, you are my friend. That's me. What are yours? Find them. Sit down for 5 minutes, 10 minutes, however long it bloody takes. Get yourself into a lovely, curious state. Think of times when you've been curious, when you've looked for something and found it get that feeling and then start to go, wow, what are my values in life? What's really important to me? And do that little exercise, write out at least seven or eight and then look for the top three and then you look where you can be those values. So I look at kindness and I look for areas of where either I've been kind or I've noticed kindness or people have been kind to me and I celebrate them. Now first off, you have to go into the past because we haven't really started this exercise in the moment. So you look in the past when one of people been kind to me now, Mickey B. Was so bloody kind to me, he wouldn't say no. He wouldn't take no for an answer. He was going to drag me there, he was going to do whatever it took. How kind was that too to do that for a mate? Thought it was a work colleague, but so much more than that, where else? And as you start to do that, you start to pick up one and then you think of another, they start to flood. Self esteem is about rekindling your self esteem Write the buggers down because you can always come back to them then. And you can feel that kindness even more because when you feel it, you're feeling the feelings of your own true values. For me anyway, there s kindness. It's a lovely value to have. Of course I believe that truthfully and honestly. But then I just look for these things and write them down and then the good stuff comes in because I have another little field book where in the moment, if I notice s an area of kindness, I'll write it down there and then. And if I don't, at the end of the day or at lunchtime or whenever I sit down for me cup of coffee, I sit down and think where did I notice kindness this morning, this afternoon or today? And I'll do that. and what happens is you're changing your filters. You're seeing things in the world that match your highest values. And do you know that makes you feel fucking awesome? It really does. And we've done nothing about building self esteem. This is all about s like I've called it rebuilding, but I'm thinking now the word should be rekindling your self esteem. We just start that little f getting the heat, getting the warmth of ourselves. And I so do it in your fieldbook. I call it a field but a little notebook you can piece of paper. I don't give a shit really on something. You gonna do it on the phone, put it on paper later. But notice the things that first of all I think match your values and then just look out for things that are wonderful in the world. Wonderful in the world that you have done as well. What did I do that was good today? What did I do to stretch myself today? And the more you ask his questions and the more you see the things in the day that you've done that Cause you would have done it, you just haven't noticed it before because your filters were, didn't have that bit in. You're changing the filters your perception and you start to see other areas of the world. It's called the reticulating activating system. Once you change that focus, you start to see everything. It's like, oh, I've heard this word, oh, what a wonderful word. Then you hear it everywhere. Oh, I'm thinking about buying this car. Such an unusual car. It's a lovely car. Then you see, you're driving along and you see them every bloody where. Reticulating activating system. It's hardwired in your neurology. This is what happens. So you let's use it. It's a natural phenomenon which I love. It's biological as well. So it's not woo woo lala, but it's also like the law of attraction if you like the woo woo laa. You know, once you start looking for things, guess what? You find them. You know, there's that old saying, I love this little saying. When you look at things differently, the things you see are different and you see the things that are so different. And what happens is the things that you used to see that used to spark off that negativity, they're still there in the world but you don't notice them anymore because you've changed your filter, change your perception and you start projecting this stuff. And the more you project perception and projection must do a longer one on that one as well. But the more you project this wonderful thing, the more you see, the more you perceive. And it's wonderful and you start to feel that little bit better. And then what you do is because you're rekindling this self esteem you can start to be, well I'm gonna start to do some stuff now. And you think of yourself, well I'm just gonna set a small goal, just a small step. I've got a goal, it's quite a big goal. But I'm gonna think about just one small stepuse again. I don't wa wantn get embarrassed. I wanna bugger it up. I don'tnna fail. But I can't fail if I do this small step, especially when I hold that wonderful feeling and I hold myself to my true values and I Can I do this really well? I don't know. Now that's not the truth, Pool. You know you can do this if you set about you the right way and to set about those goals the right way. The next thing, What? It's not the next thing. These all come together, by the way. You've got to give yourself some self care. You really have. And what'self care? It's like physical. Give yourself some physical time, go for a bloody walk, get some fresh air, see the world. And with those filters changing, you'll see wonderful things. You'll see that acts of kindness, you'll see this. You'll be able to start being compassionate. More. More compassionate. Not be compassionate. You'll be more compassionate. You know, if this means going to the gym, stretching yourself, getting that lovely ache, it's not hurt, it's just that little ache to go o. I've got this, I'm doing this. I push myself a little bit today and I feel good. I feel that nice tired and I'm getting better each time. Oh, that's a bit like self esteem, isn't it? And they might just sit down and read for a little while, but you read something inspiring, uplifting. Maybe you say, I'm gonna put 20 minutes aside to be creative. And what is creative? Is it making stuff? I don't know, is it writing stuff? I don't know. Is it drawing stuff? I don't know. It's whatever you think is creative. If you want to look out the window and you just imagine wonderful things, what you could do that's creative. As long as you write the bugger down, start working on it. Maybe your journal just give yourself a little bit of time, a little bit of space in the day to get stuff on paper. And sometimes you can journal in a way that you just dump, dump this stuff out your brain. Cause once it's out on the paper, you can close the book and it's done. Or maybe you journal with questions. I wonder what my goal is. Mind mapping and journaling for me gives me new insights What's my intention? What will doing this allow me to do? How will I feel? How do I need to feel before I start? So you might have two channels, one to dump. You can have as many journals as, as you like. Really? On different things. You could have my creative side. Just give me things I wanna just enjoy imagining. And then there's a doing a goal setting type journal. There's so Many you could do. But it's just giving yourself time. You might want to mind maps. Mind mapping and journaling for me gives me new insights. And you don't have to be a writer to do that because you just draw little pictures if you wanted to, little bullet points. And doing all of this is rekindling, rebuilding that ah, self esteem that you have. It's unshakable. So you giving yourself some time, you're being compassionate to yourself, talking to yourself, being kind, looking at your values, create small goals, making a note of wonderful things that happen. Cluy calls it perceived criticism and it can come from other people And then we have this weird thing and it's again, it's about perception. You know, when we maybe we get, I call it perceived criticism. And that could be from our head, not necessarily from other people, but it can be from other people. You got to review it. Don't take a front or back or anything else. Don't say, oh, there you go, that proves it. No, hang on a minute. Let's review this bloody thing. What I'm saying to myself may be, how, true is it? Where are the facts about this? Oh, you can't do that. Who said so? Where are the facts that saying, I can't do this because I don't believe myself. Well, where did you get that belief from? Cluy. Well, I think I made it up. Yeah, bloody right you made it, up. There's no facts there. What in the past have you been able to achieve? Well, actually you were really good at work and now you just lost it a little bit. You just got to get it back again. Get on that horse. Oh yeah, a bit of compassion, bit of, bit of guidance. But like Mickey B. Get on that H.L. cluffy, we're going. So you got to look at facts. Got it. Looking at the data. So whatever you're talking about yourself, if it's criticism, look for the facts. Write that criticism downus. Once you write it down, you look at it and go, what load of old bullshit that was. Why on earth did I say that to myself? It's so wrong. Where did it come from asking that really good questions or those really good questions, but not just ask them. Yes, they'll go inside, but take five minutes to think about the answers. Because once you, if you're truthful, honest and kind to yourself, you'll find those answers. You can pinch those values, by the way, they're free now. The thing is, you also get, you do get criticism from others, don't you? Sometimes, Just occasionally, you know, the naysayers because you start to build yourself up, you're rekindling this self esteem and you might get people go, I wouldn't do that, No, I wouldn't do that. That's not the right thing for you or whatever that type of criticism is. Well, to me it's just like poison. And if you don't take the poison, where does it stay? Stays with that person. It's like the Buddha smiling at someone who keeps shouting at them all the time and days and days, keeps shouting...
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#432 Unshakeable You -Re-Building Self-Esteem Part 1
02/21/2025
#432 Unshakeable You -Re-Building Self-Esteem Part 1
Unshakeable You -Re-Building Self-Esteem Part 1 In this eye-opening episode, we’re taking a good, hard look at self-esteem and the journey towards discovering your true worth. I’m your host, Paul Clough, and together we’ll uncover what self-esteem really means and the far-reaching effects that low self-esteem can have on our lives. We’ll dive into the dangers of low self-esteem, like the constant search for external validation and the crippling negative self-talk that often comes along for the ride. I’ll also share a personal experience where my own self-esteem was put to the test, and how I managed to rebuild my confidence and find true self-acceptance. This episode is all about helping you reflect on your own moments of confidence and recognise the power of acknowledging your achievements, no matter how small. It’s time to understand that you are worthy, even if you’ve forgotten it for a while. We’ll be packing this episode with real insights and a bit of encouragement to remind you that you’ve got everything you need within you. It's about taking those small steps towards reigniting your inner flame and fully embracing who you are. And don't miss part two, where we’ll dive even deeper into actionable steps to help you tap into your core self-esteem and make that inner light shine brighter than ever Please as always share and subscribe Shine Brightly 🌟 Paul Hey there! I’d love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at . Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review . Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit . Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to . Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure. Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on , Castbox, , YouTube, or on our . Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨ Music Credits Music by Wataboi, DreamHeaven, ccjmusic, and others from . And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism This podcast is divided into two parts because I get overwhelmed easily Hey, my friends, before I do the real introduction to this podcast. When I did it, when I recorded it, I didn't realize how long it was going to be. So I was split it up into two. Part one and part two, which is a good thing to do, or A and a B and I'm not going to leave them for a week apart. I'm going to do one after the other. But I wanted to break it down into manageable chunks. It's always good to have chunks of things that we can really get into digest without getting overwhelmed. Because I get overwhelmed really easily. So I've broken it into two parts about how we can really understand what self esteem and low self esteem is. Two stories, the pitfalls and then going on to how to rebuild, rekindle what you really want to have as self esteem. So that's what I'm gonna do. So have a listen knowing there's two parts, but really get ready for the second part, which will come after the first part. Paul Unplugged talks about low self esteem and how to rebuild it Okay, so here we go. Hey, my friend. Welcome back to the Luner podcast with me, Paul Unplugged. Unplugged. Welcome to my unplugged M mind. And I want to talk about self esteem, low self esteem and the back. And really, call the episode the journey to self worth. Because that's what we are. We're worth more. Well, whatever you think you are, you're worth more than that. You are, really. And I want to go through what is self esteem so we can understand a little bit about it. And what is low self esteem more than anything else? What are the pitfalls? What do we experience? Then I want to get into the house how we can bring back our, self esteem. It's about rebuilding. Cause you haven't lost it. Not just you're just not accessing all those bits of the good parts of you. They've been knocked out. Haven't they been knocked out? I'll tell you a story about how mine was really shaken. And that's why I've called it a little bit like the unshakable you. Because we're gonna get back and we're gonna look at the ways to really shine and feel like we're shining, have that fire in our belly. And I love to think of inside me there's a candle and there's a candle which shines brighter and brighter. And the More it shines. The more I share, the more I love life. Yeah, that's where we're going. I hope that's of interest. Self esteem really is when you believe in you, isn't it M what is self esteem? Well, self esteem really is when you believe in you, isn't it? That's when it's working, when it's, when you've got your self esteem, it's you totally believe in you, that's it. But when it's low. Oh my, oh my. You can be so critical of yourself, can't you? In fact, you're always critical of yourself. You're always judging yourself, aren't you? And we're focusing on the negatives. Nothing more than focusing on the negatives. We don't accept anybody's compliments ca because they can't be right, can they? Doesn't feel right because I don't feel like I deserve compliments, do I? I just don't feel deserving. I'm not worth it, not good enough. And they're the limiting beliefs that we make up about ourselves. I'm not good enough, shouldn't be here. Who am I to think ye. And it's that feeling of not deserving. Does that resonate? Where do you feel it? Where do you feel it? In your body or. If you do feel so good, think about times in the past one just a little bit when you didn't. I like you to know the difference and then stay in that really good self worth. But if you haven't got it at the moment, we're going to go to places where you had confidence in yourself because I know you did. There are times in the past when you were truly confident and it doesn't have to be in the genre, the context that you feel feel your self esteem is the lowest because self confidence is self bloody confidence. And when you're doing those things and you're, well, you just do them. You don't think about being confident and you certainly don't think about being unconfident because you just do them. But because we do them so naturally we don't give ourselves credit and we don't look at the beliefs that we have in those times. I told you I was going to tell you a little story how these things can really affect us and how we make up beliefs. You see, I was a long time ago in a different life, I call it a different life because it was not doing this type of work, it was in a different career and I was flying. I was pretty good. I was flying. And somehow or other the politics of business Come and bit me on the bum. Been used to a family company and it was t my family, but I felt like family. It felt like family. It was just one of those wonderful little companies. It wasn't that small, but it was just so good. And then somehow we got taken over. Things didn't go quite so well, but still I was buzzing to be able to save jobs, move on, still moving on. Then the politics came in and somehow, somehow I got accused of stuff which was totally fictitious and false. But I couldn't handle it. I just couldn't fight something. As if it just took me away at the knees. Couldn't fight. So I walked away. I knew I couldn't win and it felt the right thing to do, to walk away. But what I didn't realize was that confidence that I had left me. In a moment he just disappeared. And there I was sitting at home, had a family to support, didn't have a job, thought I'HAVE a career. And I went through the motions, went through the motions of looking. And some friends and colleagues would contact me and say, look, Paul, Paul, Paul Cloughie I got a lovely, I got a job for you. All you've got to do is go for the interview. You'll get it, it's right for you. And even people calling me, it's not a full time job, but come and do this for me. And each time I just said, no, I can't do that. That's not me. Now, three months before that I could have done it on my head, but there was nothing I felt I could do. And everything was, you know, there was like a big pity party going on and I was one of it. I was the main instigator of that pity party. Cause it just didn't feel like I could do anything. I just couldn't put myself out there anymore. My self esteem was the lowest, one other TY1 time, one of the lowest points in my life. And it was only a colleague that I now call a friend. Didn't realize how good a friend he was. Mike B. He knows who he is. I don't suppose he listened to this, but if he did, if he does, it's Mike B. He made me. He said, I've organized something for you. You are going to go and see this person. Yes. It's not a job that you are used to, but I know you can do it on standing on your head. And I've had a chat with them. They know a little bit about what's going on. They know You're a little bit unconfident now. You've been rocked. But you're going, you're going to that interview and you're gonna do that job and they're my friends and they're gonna look after you. And I did, didn't like it, but I did. And that's what I needed because I flew after that. And once I flew a few years later I started doing this type of stuff. And a few years later I started doing this type of stuff more than the other stuff and never looked back. But it took some, someone else to believe in me a little bit more. Yeah, that was my story. And now am I happy as Larry? I could be happier. What are the pitfalls of having low self esteem? Being shakeable Everyone could be a little bit happier. I'm always working on myself. But that low self esteem now that's not there. Cause I know, I know how wrong it was. But at the time it felt so right. So if you're, if you are a little bit low, you. My storyies is two extremes of being so low and then really finding a new way. And that's what's possible. Because I ain't anything special, no way. You know, I've not got this rags to riches and things like that. No, I'm not that. It's just, I'm just, I'd like to say normally, but I like to be a little bit uncommon. I'd love to go that way. But anyway, it's possible. So here's the thing. Let's have a look at the pitfalls. so what's the pitfalls of having low self esteem? Being shakable. What are the pitfalls? Well, we're always seeking external validation, but again we don't accept it. Now who is the only person really that you respect? There may be a mentor, there may be someone close, but really who. Because even them'saying yeah, you could do this. Doesn't always work, does it? Who do you really take notice of? It's yourself, isn't it? It's internal validation. Noticing your life is changing or noticing. Because what happens is when we have this filter of I'm not good enough, I don't feel good, I've got no confidence. When we've got that filter. That's all we bloody see in our life. We see all the things that aren't going well or we perceive as not going well and we perceive how, how unworthy we are, how not good enough we areus. That is just a lens that we're looking through and we need to Clean that bloody lens. Change it. I did a lovely. I just thought about this. I did a lovely metaphor, I can't remember a metaphor. I did a series of metaphors, on longer podcasts. And it's all about, I think a frog or a toad. Frog. I think it was a frog on a jumping contest. But it talks about changing your lenses and your perception. So maybe have a little look for that. if I can find what it is, I'll try to add it into the show notes. But here's the thing you can do just is a little tip. The other pitfall of having low self esteem is negative self talk By the way, I, like to do the tips later. But I want to have a quick one now. Cause I've made it. I just thought about it. I've talked about having a field book, have a little notebook. Maybe you could use your phone. And then write it down. Always write these things down. Because it feels so differently, it. Your brain wides differently when you write it down. But get it down somehow first. But when you notice something that was good at that time and you really have to look for it, even if you have to sit down at the end of the day and say, forget everything else. But what did go well? What did I enjoy? What did I succeed at? One little thing doesn't that to be big? One little thing. Because I call it a tip. But what happens is it's like a domino rally. And you start looking for the good things, the things that you did do well. Even if it's only turning up to something, even it's only speaking to somebody, even it's only doing one thing, one small stepus. That's what it's all about. It's a tip. And it's a tipping point. And it's like a domino rally. Another metaphor I love to use. It's domino rallies, by the way. Have you ever seen them? They don't start with the big one and try to push that over. Cause it's too fucking big. It's a small one, just a little one. And that tips over onto the next one which could be the same size or a little bigger. And that tips on to the next one. And then the momentum starts and then there's nothing that can stop this domino rally as long as there's not too big a jump. Remember that because we're working our way. Small steps, little increments. And then the speed and the motivation. Wow. So it's just a little, And you're goingn say to me, oh cluy. What is that really? What could happen when you write a few things down. Yes, it can and yes it will. And then, yes, it does. And then we have that. The other pitfall of having low self esteem. We talk to ourselves in such a horrible, negative way, don't we? You know, we, we berate ourselves. And, maybe you don't think you do because you don't think that you're talking to yourself, but you are. You're listening to it. Because self talk is still a set of thoughts, doesn't it? Be words. Remember, communication comes in so many different ways. But we, let's just call it negative self talk. That little voice inside us and that negative self talk could even come in the guise of. Yeah, you can't do that. Who the hell are you? Who am I? Who am I to do that? What will people think? Can't, do that. Which is exactly what I had in that really low time. But think, think about this. Would you talk to your best friend like that? No, you bloody well wouldn't. No, you wouldn't. You'd support them, you Cudjoe them, you'd cuddle them. I want toa talk about this a little bit more. When we talk about building and rebuilding, when we start doing the hows. I've given you a couple. I'm doing the how already. I don't want to do the house. I want to do the house later. But that's a little how. Just think about yourself Talk first. Just think about it. Would I talk to my best friend like that? Because your best friend is you. There's no other bugger around really. The end of the day, there's only you and, me in your head, by the way, but there's only you. Look for things which uplift you in your heart, that are inspiring And the other pitfall in this modern age when we've got all this time because we're not doing stuff because we don't feel like we can. What do we do? We sit on that bloody social media and we look at everybody else doing all the wonderful things they do in such a confident way with that big smile on their face. And, we don't realize that those people are showing off their show reels. They've practiced it so much just for the likes, just for the listens, just for the whatever. And, most of that is so fake. They're hiding behind the social media. But if you're gonna listen to social media, absolutely fine. But go to things which are inspiring, uplifting, where it shows people of service and creating change. Because if you can give a little bit of service without want of return, man, you got It. So look, if you're going to do social media and your social feeds, get off all the stuff that is, you know, all the glossy stuff, but look for things which uplift you in your heart, that are inspiring you. Sometimes they make you cry. They make me cry sometimes when I'm looking and going, man, that is so nice. So caring people. Are, you doing things for other people that make the difference? Not the ones which are formulated and things like that, but the ones that are true. So go and find things like that. If you're gonna watch social media, they're the ones to look for. Get off the restuse. That's a pitfall. So they are the pitfalls at the moment. They're the ones I came up with. Can you think of a few more yourself? What are your pitfalls? What are the things that are happening to you that you know in your heart aren't supporting you? Because the thing is, if they're not bloody supporting you, dump the buggers. Okay? That's the thing. So how can we do that? This is the how. Okay, so we're really gonna do the how on the part two. So I want to give you a bit of time, as I said before at the beginning, to process, process the things we've talked about, the thoughts you have, to allow you to muse unconsciously and consciously about where we're going to go in part two, where we start to put processes together, things to do that will allow you to access that, core self esteem that you have, rekindling who you really are so you can feel so good about yourself in such a wonderful way. Okay? So have a process and I'll see you. Be with you in part two. Paul Clough advises leaving personal development unplugged Warning. You are now leaving the unplugged mind of Paul Clough. It's time to fly on your own. Be brave, my friend. Personal development unplugged. Personal development [self improvement] [self development] [NLP] [Hypnosis]
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FMQ 483 Stopping Things Going Wrong
02/18/2025
FMQ 483 Stopping Things Going Wrong
Stopping Things Going Wrong Inspired by the podcast Modern Wisdom and an interview with Tony Robbins We've got something in our day we really want to go well and we usually see it going wrong, get anxious and then it goes wrong just as you imagined. So let's change that by 'pre-framing' and imagine - 'How I would like it to be?' and using the same as above, get excited and curious, and have it just as you imagined. A 5-minute quickie reminder because we all need reminding. Please share And the video is here: Shine Brightly 🌟 Paul Hey there! I’d love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at . Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review . Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit . Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to . Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure. Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on , Castbox, , YouTube, or on our . Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨ Music Credits Music by Wataboi, DreamHeaven, ccjmusic, and others from . Personal development [self improvement] [self development] [NLP] [Hypnosis]
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#431 Taming The Mind -From Anxiety and Worry.
02/14/2025
#431 Taming The Mind -From Anxiety and Worry.
Taming the Mind: Tools to Stop Worrying Hey there, friend! Do you ever feel like your mind is constantly racing with worries you can’t quiet? Well, in this episode of the Personal Development Unplugged Podcast, we’re going to take on that noisy “monkey mind” and discover how to transform those endless worries into clarity and peace. I’m going to walk you through what’s really going on when that chatter takes over. We’ll dig into why worry shows up in the first place and how you can acknowledge it without letting it control you. By the end of this episode, you’ll have some super practical tools to break free from overthinking and start creating a mindset that’s both calmer and more confident. Picture this: waking up tomorrow with a peaceful mind, ready to take on the day with ease. Sound good? Together, we’ll explore how to make that a reality. I’ll share simple but powerful techniques like practising gratitude and writing down your worries to help you regain control and move past the cycle of anxious thinking. Anxiety doesn’t have to run the show. It's time to shift your perspective, break old patterns, and start finding healthier ways to navigate those swirling thoughts. This episode is packed with helpful insights and exercises to help you reconnect with your best self and truly enjoy the journey ahead. Ready to tame your mind? Let’s dive in! I’d love to hear your thoughts—share what you learn and this episode with others Shine Brightly 🌟 Paul Hey there! I’d love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at . Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review . Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit . Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to . Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure. Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on , Castbox, , YouTube, or on our . Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨ Music Credits Music by Wataboi, DreamHeaven, ccjmusic, and others from . Shine Brightly 🌟 Paul Hey there! I’d love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at . Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review . Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit . Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to . Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure. Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on , Castbox, , YouTube, or on our . Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨ Music Credits Music by Wataboi, DreamHeaven, ccjmusic, and others from . And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism Hey, my friend, how you doing? How you doing? Hopefully you're really, really well. Really well. It's pull from, as you know, it's the personal development unplugged. Trying to break down some complicated stuff, making it into simple changes, simple steps, things that we can achieve without overwhelm. Because so many people make this genre so difficult or they don't tell you the how. They tell you the what and, not the how. And here I'm going to tell you the how, the what and everything in between. And hopefully make it so simple. Because Paul here, Cloughie. I can't do complicated. Complicated just does my brain in. In simplicity there is genius. In simplicity there is genius. Taming the Mind is an easy way to stop worrying Anyway, what we're going to talk about today. What are we talking about today? Taming the Mind. tools to stop worrying. Big title, Taming the Mind. You know, think about it now. Have you ever experienced, I think, what people call the monkey mind chattering away? It's there all the time. If you're worrying about something, you're either talking to yourself and you don't realize you're talking to yourself about how bad things could be, what's gonna happen, and imagining the worst, or you're just imagining the worst, and seeing it. And it's like a loop, isn't it? It's just a loop that keeps going round, round, round and around and round. And it doesn't get smaller, it gets bigger. It starts to affect everything else because instead of this one little issue that you had, it's now spiraled out of control. That's when it gets really big. And obviously, if things are getting that big, really, really, really, really big, I do suggest go and get one to one therapy. Suggest it every time. And I think, you know, get a really great hypnotist, an NLP practitioner, somebody does timeline therapy, they'll smash it for you that quickly. But we're talking about just getting that, that monkey mind, that chattering mind, that continual thing of what we always. But we all seem together. It's a big generalization, Cloughie. But that's what we get, you know, when worry becomes. Or seems to be endless, doesn't it, sometimes? And it's so hard. I know I'm gonna tell you this and you're gonna think, yeah, of course it is cluy. But it is trying to do you some bloody good. Worry has a positive intention. But when you can't seem to think straight and you can't think of anything else and you get that bloody overwhelm. And it can lead to little panic attacks, can't it? It does lead to a loss of performance in other areas of our life. It does affect our, communication with people, our connection with people, our relationships. You know, we get short with people, we get angry sometimes we just flip and we know it's wrong, you know it's not the right thing to do. But somehow it just triggers that all for this wonderful positive intention. I'm trying to keep you safe, which is really weird. and we'll go through that weirdness of that. So that's where we're going. We're going to dive deeply in a nice easy way to how to stop this overthinking. And m. We're not gonna do any usual way. I m want to say the usual way. We're going toa do it in my way. Bits of, maybe not quite hypnosis, but sort of a little bit of visualization, a little bit of deeper thinking. And may we're just seeing things from a different perspective because when you look at things differently, the things you look at become different. And that's what this is all about. And also understanding this positive intention. Because when you get that, and when you get the positive intention and you also get your unconscious mind to understand, there's a conflict for what it's trying to do for you and what it's actually producing. That's when the big changes work, the big changes come into it and we can access those changes. So that's where we're going. Imagine waking up tomorrow with a clear mind and feeling confident and competent So first, first imagine. Imagine this. This is a real great thing to do. Imagine this if you were, to wake up one morning, maybe tomorrow morning. Maybe tomorrow morning. If you were to wake up tomorrow morning and you open your eyes and it didn't matter what the weather was doing. It could be pissing down, it could be sunshine, it could be anything. But you wake up and you've got a lovely clear mind and you just feel comfortable. You feel like you can do what you need to do. You feel. Call it in control. You've got a lovely clear mind. And you just know the day is going toa be okay. And things will happen, but you'll deal with them. I mean, how would that be? How would that be? Imagine it now, waking up with that clear mind. What would you see? What would you see as you opened your eyes? How would you see the world? Would it be a little bit Brighter? Would it be as it is now, the real world? What would your internal pictures in your mind look like for the day ahead? What would you hear? Maybe you'd start to hear the real world outside or the real world inside. Wherever you're waking up just there, the noise, the noise of being alive. And when you're seeing the day and the days ahead, they're going to be okay, and you're hearing the noise in a nice way, how would that make you feel? Not only, I guess, not only comfortable, but it probably be a little bit more confident, competent, maybe you're a little bit curious, maybe a little bit more grateful. I don't know, what would you be doing? What would you start doing? And I think for me, when I think about this, because I do think about this a lot, I'd be connecting more. I'd connect, be connecting more with others in a nicer way, a kinder way. And I do write about that in my journal of how can I be kinder, thoughtful. Because I could focus on other people and that connection, listening and being interested. But also I'd be connecting with myself more because I'd be in tune with myself. I'd be, you know, we call it being a lion, being congruent. It'd just be so different, wouldn't it? Imagine that. Now imagine that. Wouldn't that be great? And the thing is, here's one of the kickers. If you can imagine it, it's possible. And now some people say, oh, is this the law of attraction cluy that we. No, it's nothing to do with the law of attraction. If you believe in the law attraction, by the way, it's everything to do with the law attraction. There's a reticulating, activating system that's hard wired in your neurology as well. It means you tend to see the things you focus on more. As I say, when you look at things differently, the things you look at appear differently, but you will see the world differently. It'd be awesome, wouldn't it? And now what I was saying about the imagination is the reason I believe that if you can imagine it is possible, it's because something inside you has allowed you to imagine it. It gives you that little bit of hope and hope gives that belief that it is possible. Now I like to imagine things 200% more than they could be because I know if I do that I might just get even more than I, I believe. Maybe there's a little bit of doubt sometimes creeps in, but because I can Imagine it. And it gives me that wonderful feeling of the things I'll see and hear and be doing. It makes me motivated. It becomes a. Why, as it were? It's the value, the importance of it. That, is a lovely thing to do, wasn't it? And you can do it anyt time, by the way. That's one thing you could do whenever you. Whenever you choose. And you got that little bit of monkey mind. Oh, hang on a m minute. What would it be like if I woke up tomorrow morning and it was gone? What would it be like? Or you could say, what would happen if I had a cup of coffee and it went just like that? How I spend the rest of the day? You can just play with it in your mind no one can control your imagination other than you. And it's all about showing your unconscious mind. All the things we're doing today is showing your unconscious mind. There's a better way. And I believe that your unconscious mind, because it's here to protect you in the best way it can when it finds a better way, is shown a better way, it has to move towards that better way. It has to take it on. There are many ways to use mindfulness, not just one way So anyway, we've got that part, but how do we really get into this? We're doing the how bit now. Yeah, the how. Well, first for me, I know it doesn't seem good because this chattering monkey mind, this mind that's sort of untamed because we're taming the monkey mind, taming the worry, the anxiety, first of all, we know it has a positive intention. So acknowledge the intention. You know, if your best friend's trying to help you, but maybe not doing it in quite the right way, but their intention is good. Say thank you. Thanks for trying your bloody best. I, know you're trying, but I think we need to acknowledge together that it's not really working. How do we know it's not working? Because it doesn't feel good. You know, if you're trying to protect me from something, it isn't working because I don't feel protected. And if I don't feel protected for whatever reason, it's not working. And, that direct conflict is you're allowing me to feel anxious, maybe scared, maybe fear, maybe there's panic you feel in the blank. And if your unconscious mind is trying to protect you from something which would then stop you being anxious, scared, fearful, panicky. You fill in the blank, then that's a direct conflict. What it's doing is directly opposite to what its intention is. And once we acknowledge it, acknowledge that you want to keep the intention, just say to yourself, you know, I appreciate what you're doing for me, it's not working. But I really want you to keep trying to keep me safe, keep me comfortable, keep me successful, keep me enjoying life. Becauseluy says, and now I believe there's better ways. And I said ways, plural, because there are so many better ways to be in the world, not just one way. Because that's what your unconscious mind has been doing. It's been doing the one thing over and over again from the very start. The cause of this worry and we'renna show. Show your unconscious mind, your best friend. There are so many better ways. So many better ways. So that's the how. But is it Cloughie? No, it isn't the how. That's the start of the how. Then we go to, well, what are the steps I could do? What things can I do? I've got this panicking situation, I've got some anxiety, you know, I'm feeling unconfident now. Some people would go, let's get mindful. Going to the moment, going to the present. That's bloody hard. That really is quite hard to go from one to the other. Said, you know, it's that metaphor I keep telling over and over again. When you want to jump the stream and it's too wide and you're just going toa fall in and get absolutely wet, and you're then worse than before, it's too big a jump. There is a great way to use mindfulness, and we're going to use it shortly in a small step. But I think what we can do instead of mindful, we can just be grateful. How can I be grateful about myself? Well, you can be grateful for anything How can I be grateful? Well, you can be grateful for anything. I know the act of gratitude and everyone goes, oh, my family this and that. That, yeah, that's a little bit by rote. But I want you to be grateful about your family, your friends, the things that you, you're grateful for, you know, to be alive to where you live or what, your job or just wandering around, that you're here in this lovely planet Earth, little old planet, Earth. You're part of it. But there are other things you could be grateful for. And it's about yourself. Now you can say, well, what is that about? How can I be grateful about myself? Well, a long time ago I created, and I think I did create this. I don't claim creation of a lot of things, but one of the things, because I was having a really black Time and I needed to get out of the real black worry and anxiety I was having. Then I had to find some qualities of myself. I had to be grateful myself. And it was so difficult. And I made this mind map of my qualities. And in fact we've taken that into trainings. All sorts of things about being what you, what are your qualities about you? What can you do? One of them is I was so bad I couldn't think of anything other than, well, I'm alive and I'm breathing. That's a sort of quality because I'm here. Well, if you go to hash 78. So it's a longer podcast. 78 it was all about my qualities. And then I did a hypnosis track 78.1. And if you're on things like cast box and things like that, which sometimes have a, search button, you just put my qualities or qualities on, the personal development app or podcasts and you'll find it. That's a great thing to listen to because you can find things about yourself and it's not ego, it's just things that you could be grateful and thankful about about you. And I think you can take this even further you can think about it. And as you think of one, you think of another because it's after a while it starts to get a little easier and they start to flow through your mind. But the trouble is once you get to about four, you've forgotten the first three and you get to five and you forget the first four and it just, you know what I'm going to say. Write the buggers down. I love to journal on them. And m, you know, if you've got this worry going on, what would happen if you sat down just for 10 minutes and wrote down my qualities? Do it as a mind map, listen to the hypnosis track or just write those things down. Set time aside. Now if you wanted to, here's another thing you could do. So you're doing my qualities, but I want to get this stuff out of my head because it's looping in my head. I'm going to set down 15 minutes to worry. That seems weird. Well, If I allow 15 minutes to worry, the rest of the day is my own. But how'you worry? Well, I'm going to worry by getting those worries out on paper. Because if it's gonn bugger my brain up with all the looping and the worrying and stopping me doing this and creating negative emotions in me and limiting beliefs, I want to get them out on paper. What am I actually worrying about? And you put it on paper. I have a thing called a puzzle book. And it's just a book with plain pages in it. Could be you can have graph paper in it, you can have line paper. I like playing. Cause I like this throwing things around and just throw those worries out. What am I really worried about today? What is, you know what worry is that is causing me to have this monkey brain. The thoughts and the pictures in my mind and write them down. So I'm worried about meeting this person, or I'm worried about this meeting, or I'm worried about, you know, something's wrong in my career. I'm worried about, this argument I had with my partner. Get it on paper. What exactly is it? Not the bullshit you got in your mind that spiraled out of control. What exactly? Specifically specific. I can't say that word. I want it. It's on the tip of my tongue. Specificity. That's the word. Get into specificity. Write the bugger down and set this time. 15 minutes or whatever you want. I'm going to spend this time. Nothing is go. Goingna get in my way. I'm going to dump this down. Because when you do that, what can you do next? Well, you can start to look for better ways. Now, before we jump into those better ways, there's a couple of things you could do to break the pattern as well. Because you start, you've loaded it all out on a piece of paper. And sometimes you want to need a breath so you can actually stop, you can pause and breathe and then take action. Stop or pause, stop, breathe and then take a action. Now if you wanted to, you could do things like there's all sorts of breathing patterns. You can find them forever. But a lovely thing is box breathing. I say...
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FMQ 482 10 Minutes To Freedom
02/11/2025
FMQ 482 10 Minutes To Freedom
10 Minutes To Freedom From????? This is 5 minutes to ask you a question I know the answer to. The thing is, you know the answer and don't realise how important it is to do it, as it will change what you achieve every day. "BIG call Cloughie" Yup! Come with me for 5 minutes and begin to shine Then take 30 seconds to share: Shine Brightly 🌟 Paul Hey there! I’d love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at . Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review . Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit . Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to . Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure. Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on , Castbox, , YouTube, or on our . Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨ Music Credits Music by Wataboi, DreamHeaven, ccjmusic, and others from . Personal development [self improvement] [self development] [NLP] [Hypnosis]
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#430.1 Hypnosis the 3 Foundations Of Self Development
02/08/2025
#430.1 Hypnosis the 3 Foundations Of Self Development
Hypnosis The 3 Foundations Of Self-Development Following on from the longer episode of the same name I decided to create a deep hypnosis track to assist in the commitment to creating the best version of you, building on these 3 foundations. PLEASE REMEMBER this is hypnosis so have nothing that needs your attention for the next 20 minutes or so. This is your time to devote solely to you. This will also be put on the dedicated hypnosis and process page of my website - where you find some 70 tracks of hypnosis and NLP processes all with my compliments. I'd go into more detail but it does what it says on the can :O) Please enjoy and share Shine Brightly 🌟 Paul Hey there! I’d love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at . Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review . Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit . Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to . Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure. Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on , Castbox, , YouTube, or on our . Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨ Music Credits Music by Wataboi, DreamHeaven, ccjmusic, and others from . Personal development [self improvement] [self development] [NLP] [Hypnosis]
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#430 The 3 Foundations of Self Development
02/07/2025
#430 The 3 Foundations of Self Development
The 3 Foundations of Self-Development and Change Three Pillars for Good Mental Health Or you could say Building the Best Version of You Hey, my unplugged friends! Welcome back to another episode of the Personal Development Unplugged Podcast. Today, we're diving into the core of personal change work—the foundation that supports all your efforts to become the best version of yourself. Forget the complicated stuff; we're keeping it simple with three essential elements: sleep, food, and movement. These are the pillars that hold up your mental health and overall well-being. Whether you're dealing with anxiety, depression, or just looking to improve your life, getting these basics right is crucial. They're interconnected, and you can't focus on one without considering the others. What We’ll Cover Here's what we'll explore in this episode: Sleep: Discover why a consistent sleep routine is vital and how small changes can make a big difference. Food: Learn how to fuel your body with the right nutrients and why hydration is key. Movement: Understand the importance of regular exercise and how it benefits your mind and body. These aren't just tips; they're actionable steps you can take today. No more excuses about time, energy, or resources. It's all about making small, sustainable changes that add up over time. Remember, I'm not a doctor or a nutritionist—just someone who's passionate about personal development and knows what works. So, let's get started on building a strong foundation for your mental health and personal growth. If you find this episode helpful, please share it with someone who might benefit. And don't forget to subscribe for more insights and practical advice. Take care, shine brightly, and I'll see you on the other side. Shine Brightly 🌟 Paul Hey there! I’d love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at . Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review . Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit . Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to . Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure. Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on , Castbox, , YouTube, or on our . Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨ Music Credits Music by Wataboi, DreamHeaven, ccjmusic, and others from . And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism And this is where we're going to dive into all sorts of blooming stuff to make personal development simple, easy to follow. Was it deconstruct? I think. I think the term is deconstruct the complicate to make things easy for ourselves. Because I can't do complicated, I really can't. So what are we going toa talk about? Well, it's. Call it the foundation of change work because I often get questions like this in all either from clients or different forums and Q&As. And the question is, what's the best hypnosis track for? And you fill in the blank or what's the best process I can use for fill in the blank? And that even comes from therapists as well, which is quite weird. They should know about cause and effect, deal with the cause and then you'll find the process. Or you even get. People would say, I'm struggling with my mental health. What the bloody hell is, Mental health's so vague, isn't it? So bloody vague. I'm struggling with my mental health now. I sympathize, I really do. I want to be compassionate, I am compassionate about it, so I want to help you. That's why I do this, this podcast. But struggling with your menal health is vague. And for each one of those things you need to get more specific in the type of help that you want, the type of things that you're. You're having issues with. And there's a place for all of that in personal development. And here I hope to provide you the best things that I can offer you to find the best solutions to mental health processes, hypnosis tracks, but real fundamentals of personal change work so you can be the best version of yourself. Letting go of things like ocd, depression, anxiety, fear, all that type of. Well, they're just behaviours, by the way. They're just behaviours and that's why we can change behavioior and we just find the cause. Here's the thing. Let's look at what you can do right now for your mental health without a hypnosis track, without a process, without anything other than. I think some people call them pillars, some people call them legs of a blooming table. I just think they're the found. It's a foundation, foundation. And it comes in three. Three things, they're joined together. You can't have one without the other. Really. Not if you really want to make the best, version of yourself and be the best version and enjoy the best version of yourself. And that's not all about having mentalal health issues. You can be absolutely superbly fining yourself, but you wanna make a better version of yourself because we can. Sleep, food and movement are all good for your mental health So I wanna talk about today in this episode. I wanna dive into the three things that, are really good for your mental health. For things such as anxiety, you know, unconfidence. And the three things of this are these rather. Sleep, food and movement. What? That's nothing to do with hypnosis and processes and nlp. I know, but if you aren't getting the right amount of sleep and if you're not eating a reasonable diet, I'm not talking about super healthy, but a reasonable diet and you're not moving, then you, you gotta get that right. That's a foundation. Because if you might be eating right, you might be moving. But if you're not sleeping right, then obviously your movement's gonna suffer. And when you move, it suffers and you get sluggish and you think, oh, soddry, I'll just eat a little bit more of that comfort food. But here's the thing. I'm not a bloody sleep doctor, I'm not a nutritionalist, and I'm certainly not a apt personal trainer. So I'm gonna talk to you about sleep, food and movement, because that's what I want to tell you. Ca. Because they just work. And you see, as I said, they're all joined. So you have to, Each one will affect the other. And therefore we really have to look at all three together. Because you just work on one, the other two will fail or the other two will flounder a little bit. So we need to keep topping them up and noticing the areas of. Where we really need to look at things. You know, if you're always tired, I'm, like, I've been there, felt so tired today. O. I've been to the gym. Didn't really do much though. I just, I let myself off, didn't do an awful lot. And do you know what? I came back and had a cake with my coffee and I've just done, nothing. And you see, you can see each one of those will affect the other. And they're so. I think they're pretty simple to get right or not necessarily perfect because nothing is perfect. But you can work on each. And as you're working on each of those three to get a better, balance. Then if there is anything that you're suffering from and call it a mental health issue, such as anxiety, fear, unconfidence, ocd, you name it, imposter syndrome, all that stuff, then you're in a better place to be able to work in and on that stuff. And that's when things like the hypnosis tracks and the processes just works so much better. So let's have a look. Sleep. I told you I'm not sleep doctor. Because there's loads of bloody podcasts out there on sleep, and interviewing sleep doctors. And what happens to your sleep when you're suffering from anxiety or, well, you name anything else like that. Well, your sleep suffers and you have to do something about it. So you need, basically you can listen to all the podcasts. Yeah, but what does it come down to? Getting a regime and no excuse. All of these are no excuses, by the way. You know, you can't give an excuse. Well, I can't do it because, you know, o there's. Now you need that solid regime just to get back on track. Once you get back on track, you'll create a lovely routine for yourself that works for you. So no excuses. So things like coffee before you go to bed. O, no, you're going to get the people who go, oh, it doesn't affect me. Don't care whether it doesn't affect you. Just cut it out. Do the best you can for yourself. Turn the lights down a little bit before you go to bed. Just slowly start to bring things down. And yeah, occasionally you're gonna have late nights, but look to hit that bedtime at the right time. Oh, and you're gonna go, oh, Paul, this is a bit boring now. No, it's only boring because you're gonna end up being boring if you don't do these type of things because, say, you're gonna suffer with those anxiety, the fears, they're got toa come and get you. Now, if you've got your health, as in sleeping health, you're gonna be more equipped for the day and, the waking day. And imagine when you sleep, that's when you recharge, when your unconscious mind tries to sort things out for you. So give it the best opportunity you can by going to sleep at the same time getting a regime that works for you then, like turn up. Nearly swore that phone off. Why do you want to look at a phone before you go to bed? Why do you need it to. You by your bedside. And if you do need it by your bedside, just as a clock, put it on aeroplane mode just so you've got the clock. That's all you need. But better still, buy yourself a bloody clock you don't need. Then the phone, the phone can be right over there out of the way. So get yourself into the best habit you can get of sleeping and say there's loads of advice out there. And this is just the thing I'm just trying to say, get that it's a pillar foundation of health. So I'm not a sleep doctor, but those are the type of things that they're gonna advise. But just go and search research that works best for you. And ideally I'GONNA say this, don't take the pills. You don't need pills for so much stuff. That's my thought anyway, I'm not a doctor, all that stuff. But you know, so. And when you wake up, try to wake up at the same time. Don't hit that snooze button. I really can you feel that? I want to swear, but don't hit that snosez butun. Maybe just before you go to sleep, you want to breathe. Just set up a little breathing pat just to bring you down. and it's all like a little pattern interrupter of some sort. Just tell your unconscious mind, not this, but now we're going to rest, it's time for rest. If you've got things on your mind, write them down, stick them out the way. So you go to bed at the same time, getting up at the same time, and then you're hitting stuff, maybe a little meditation before you go to bed, but that's like breathing and a little breathing routine. So there you go. Work on your sleep because one third of your life could be sleep And it might take a little time, it might. But what you gotta do is this one thing, this is one thing you have to do is do that, work on your sleep. That's all you have to work on your sleep. And you're gonna start to prepare yourself for the waking day. Cause that's where you live your life up really, isn't it? So one third, of your life could be sleep. So get that right, continue to work on it. And once you get it, you get it. You need to focus on your sleep as well as your food issues So here comes my nutritionalist, because I'm not one, but here's the thing, and I really, really have trouble with this. And I've actually got a little reminder for myself now. Every day, drink more water. We're talking about sort of diet, but it's not just food. It's just the way that what you consume in food and drink. So can you drink a little bit more water? Can you cut out more of the processed food? Very difficult to knock it all out, isn't it? Because bloody nice sometimes, isn't it? Yeah, but can we knock it out? You maybe treat ourselves fine, but a treat is a treat for being so good and all the other stuff. And then your unconscious mind seems to say, well, I don't mind this. Call it not hardship. Is it eating healthy if I'm going to get that nice little treat on a Sunday, whatever it is, you know that little time that you just say okay, it's time to treat ourselves. Cause that's fine. Cause I'm gonna go back to that stuff. Maybe you could fast and there's loads again. There's podcasts on all of this, isn't there? There's books, on it. Everything you can think of. Good, sensible nutritional advice. Find it. You know, f. I believe fasting is great because you're eating at the same same times in that little window of time and your body ad justs so well. And I think if you have eating issues when you're doing this, you're goingna notice when you have difficulties with this, that's the area of your life to work on. So maybe I'm having trouble go back to the sleep because of I have'getting anxious about stuff. So now I'm gonna make a note, I'm gonna work on that anxiety as well as my sleep. That particular area of anxiety. Not just anxiety, but I'm anxious about ex so in to work on that. What's causing me to feel anxious, Let me find a way. But keep concentrating on that sleep and the same with food. You might find this part of my life is a real difficulty for me. You know, I m really stuck on the sweet stuff, that sugar stuff. Ooh, love the sugar. Now people call it sugar addiction, but I have real trouble with addictions because if you call them behaviours is all it is. You're eating more sugar. It's a behaviour to eat sugar. Yeah, it goes inside and does that stuff. But if you change behaviours, because we can all change your behaviour, especially with things like hypnosisus. We can change your behavioior find better behaviours to put in place of the old behavior that are healthy, safer, your unconscious mind will take them on board, but it's fine. And then the right processing p mypnosis trackact to do that. But now you've narrowed that down because you're now m saying it's maybe that sugar or maybe it's that alcohol. Maybe I'm smoking in a little bit. And that's because some people believe it or not. And I think I've done it before when I used to smoke a long, long time ago is instead of having dinner you'd have a couple of cigarettes. People still do that, don't they? To keep their weight off. Now how crazy is that? But it's just another behavioior in place of another behavioior. And you see I will go into things like eating disorders on longer podcasts. Be more specific than that. But least if you find this is the area in my life. Yeah, I'd go to the gym, I can get my night's sleep. But I'm really struggling with this food thing or this drink thing. I'm now narrowing my focus of attention to what needs to be done and it's just on these foundations of bringing that out into the open. You, you may even know about it anyway you probably do. But it's got toa really highlight it. And you see none of this is bloody rocket science when you do it just don't have to get a keto diet and all that stuff. That is science. But this isn't rocket science. This is just common bloody sense. You know, you're fueling your body for health, you're fueling your body for a good night's sleep. You're not eating just before you go to sleep. You're eating at the right time so your digestion goes and does all the stuff, whatever it's supposed to do, all that stuff. I don't know. But it's common sense, isn't it? So maybe I'm a doctor of common sense. I like to think I've got a little bit of that. But no excuses again, no excuses. And know don't give yourself excuse. Oh, I'm addicted. Because then no we're going to work on that or I'm big boned or my whole family is like this. What do you think is my DNA? No sodic you can just. We will change it but you have to have the will to do whatever it takes. That's what it's all about. Because if you haven't got the will to do whereever it takes then, you know, no bothering. You shouldn't even be here to be fair. But I say that only as much as everyone's got the will to do whatever it takes. So you should be hereuse we're gonna find the thing that opens up the door. The doors are always ajar. It's just waiting for you to go through it. But it's a matter of finding the right door. And this is what we're doing. Looking at foundations and looking at areas that come up and go, ah, this is where I'm struggling a bit more than in the other areas. This is to work on now. So you have a plan, you know, you plan your intake of fuel. Basically you schedule it. Yes, it a bit, anal. But when you go to those type of lengths and you will follow them, mark them off. That's what I have to do with my water. I've got this little book, it's got little squares in for every day of the week and have to colour each one when I drink a glass of water. So I can see when I'm not drinking water because I was getting moaned at certainly by my son all the time. Dad, you're not drinking enough water. Dadd, you're not drinking water. Yeah, I'm fine. I'm drinking my tea, drinking my coffee. Once you start looking at one part of your diet, it spreads to other things But he's right, my other son's right. He's taught me this lesson of just marketing this little box and that's addictive and that's a good addiction. Thoughuse addictions can be good as long as's leading to the right way. So I mark off every day, at least I got one square marked into four and I colour in each quarter every time I take a good glass of water. Now that may be not enough, but it's a dam. It's four times more than I was drinking before. I'm sure that's gonna do me good in the long run. And also what tends to happen, I think is once you start looking at say, one part of your diet, your food intake, let's call it this, fueling, once you start looking at one, you become more aware of the other things. I remember a long time ago there used to be this, diet, the 600 calorie diet. I think it was like every other day you would restrict yourself to 600 calories. Now that was so boring for me. I couldn't find the right type of food. But I pushed it for a little while. Keep pushed and pushing to do it. But what it did do, and I even look at it now that when I'm looking at food, I'm looking at the calories and thinking, o, that's a meal, is that the right thing to take into my body as fuel instead of a proper balanced Meal with vegetables and meat. And if you're vegetarian, vegetables, you know what I mean? And if you're vegan, I don't know, eat. I'm, not. I don't know these things, but you know what I mean? You start one thing spreads to other things. It's like, you know, when you have an issue, it starts in one place and it spreads to other areas of your life. Just does that way. So. But when you get a solution, that solution then spreads into other areas of your life. And this does the same thing. Once you focus on one, you find the areas, but you also become aware of other areas in that genre. Call it the fuel genre. And then exercise. And again, I'm not a PT personal trainer or anything like that, but I go to the gym regularly because, again, no excuses. No excuses. Like, oh, I haven't got time. You've all got bloody time. Oh, I, can't go to the gym because I don't know what to do and I don't know how. I...
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FMQ 481 Acting As If - Is Weird
02/04/2025
FMQ 481 Acting As If - Is Weird
Acting As If - Is Weird Some think Acting as If is like faking it until you make it and that's so far from the truth. Acting as if is part of modelling other people's skills and is also the 5th Key of the 5 keys to success. Remembering that any changes in your physiology create changes in your emotions and the pictures in your mind that create your behaviours. It's a 5-minute quickie so buckle up and be ready to muse. Please share this episode and what you have learned and the video is here Shine Brightly 🌟 Paul Hey there! I’d love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at . Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review . Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit . Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to . Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure. Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on , Castbox, , YouTube, or on our . Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨ Music Credits Music by Wataboi, DreamHeaven, ccjmusic, and others from . Personal development [self improvement] [self development] [NLP] [Hypnosis]
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#429 When Anxiety Whispers
01/31/2025
#429 When Anxiety Whispers
When Anxiety Whispers Or Listening to the Whisper of Anxiety Transform Fear into Insight Hey, my unplugged friends! Have you ever felt anxiety creeping in, like a whisper that grows louder until it’s hard to ignore? If you’ve been there (and let’s be honest, who hasn’t?), this episode is for you. Today, we’re turning the tables on anxiety, exploring how those whispers might actually be signals for change. What if anxiety isn’t just random? What if it’s your unconscious mind’s way of keeping you safe and nudging you toward growth? Together, we’re going to discover how to really listen to those whispers without letting them take over. Here’s What You’ll Learn Today: The Hidden Message of Anxiety Anxiety isn’t just noise—it’s your unconscious mind trying to send you a message. Let’s uncover the positive intentions behind it. Breaking the Cycle Stop running from anxiety. With simple techniques like pausing, breathing, and acknowledging it, we’ll learn how to face it head-on. Curiosity as a Superpower By staying curious, we can decode what our anxiety is trying to tell us, turning fear into actionable insights. Empowerment Through Awareness When we listen to these whispers, we can learn from past experiences, break unhelpful patterns, and align with what truly matters. This episode is all about shifting your perspective. Instead of dreading anxiety, let’s celebrate it as a sign that you’re ready to grow and learn. Yes, it might feel uncomfortable, but those whispers? They’re here to guide you. Ready to transform anxiety into insight? Let’s dive in together. Tune in, and if this episode resonates with you, please share it with someone who might need a little encouragement today. Let’s spread the word and help more people on their journey of personal development! Listen now: Until next time—stay curious and shine brightly, Paul Shine Brightly 🌟 Paul Hey there! I’d love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at . Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review . Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit . Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to . Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure. Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on , Castbox, , YouTube, or on our . Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨ Music Credits Music by Wataboi, DreamHeaven, ccjmusic, and others from . And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism Some time ago, I got really anxious, and it was all to do with. I got, like, a text that was sort of threatening, wasn't a nice one. And I started to make pictures in my mind, having conversations with myself. And the pictures got worse, bigger. The words never stopped. And I kept looping from one to the other how bad this situation could be. And at the time, I've talked about this before, but at the time, I was away out of the country, so whatever happened, there was no way that I was going to meet this person who was sending this threatening text. But I still got anxious. It still affected me. Isn't that weird? Or the other w of this can happen is we just get a feeling, a feeling of fear, maybe, and we suddenly bef frightened about something. Not quite sure what, though. Or you just get that anxious feeling in your tummy, but it's not very specific, is it? It's just there. We're not quite sure what it is. We might do, we might know little about it, but not that sure, but it's just there. This episode is called When Anxiety whispers. Does that resonate with you Hey, welcome to the personal development Unplug podcast. You, you with the old earbuds in ge. Does that resonate with you? Because, you know, we're calling this, episode when Anxiety whispers. Now, neither of those is really a whisper. Was it, you know, the feeling, of fear? Anxiety doesn't feel like a whisper, but it is. And I tell you for why. Shortly you'll get it for why, where the whisper comes from. But the thing is, what I want to go through in this episode is what the whisper is trying to do for you. So what's the purpose? The purpose of having these feelings, these anxious feelings, and what it is, it's not random, is it? Or is it? We tend to think they're random. Why am I feeling this way? And I don't even know what it is that's random, but it isn't. It's your best friend, your unconscious mind, responding to something. It wants you to be safe, it wants to protect you. And so it's got a wonderful positive intention, but it doesn't feel good. But that's the whisper. Sometimes it's like letting you know, telling you that you're out of alignment. What does that mean? It's like. Well, it just doesn't. Something doesn't feel right in a relationship. We've all had those feelings, haven't we? Or is it just me. When something isn't quite right, can't put your finger on it, but you get a feeling. Every time you think about particular thing, you get a feeling, or maybe it's in your career, your job, the thing you do most days, you have this feeling that something isn't quite right. I've had that, quite a few times, and it's always proved to be right when I listen to it. Maybe it's a behavior or a habit that you've got that you know you're doing it and then you get that feeling and it's just showing you this behavior, this habit, isn't in alignment with who you really are. It's not right. It's not right for you. Might even be something like an unresolved emotion that's bubbling up to the surface now. You know, maybe just anxiety, but you're. A little bit anxiety. It feels maybe a little bit of grief or a bit of sadness or whatever. You fill in the blank. But it's like an unresolved emotion that's coming to the surface. And what this means is that you're ready, you're ready to learn. You're in the right place. So it's time to celebrate. Even though it doesn't feel that good, it's time to celebrate. Celebrate this icky feeling. Weird, cluy. I know, but come with me with this. Come with me with this. You see, the only reason it feels weird is because it tends to be a direct conflict. Your unconscious mind is trying to protect you, try to keep you safe, but they actually, you don't feel protected. and you don't feel safe. It's trying to let you learn from something, to keep you safer in the future. But at the moment, this feeling, this sadness, this grief or whatever doesn't feel good. And, so what do we do? What do we normally do? Well, we try to suppress it, don't we? We try to push it down, push it away. Try this with somebody. It's a weird thing to do. I do it with my clients. I just say, just hold your hand out, put your arm up and hold your hand out. And then I'll put my hand on their hand and I'll start to push it, push it back. I guarantee you 199.99% they'll push back. Because when you push something away, it always comes back stronger. And all this is, is a whisper, pay attention. And, when we push it away, we're notnna listen, we're notnna hear. And your unconscious mind is going to say, well you will listen to me. So I'm going to shout louder and the shouting louder is to make those feelings more intense, those negative feelings, those negative emotions more intense. Even though the positive intention is to make you feel better, it's going toa make you feel worse until you listen. So how do we listen? How do we listen to the whisper? We'll call it a whisper because a whispers. You know, some people say it's rude to whisper, but it's your unconscious mind whispering in a certain way just for you, just to you. And if you notice it doesn't stop, it will always keep whispering, trying to give you that information. So how can we listen? How can we listen to that whisper? Stopping, pausing and breathing, literally breaking the pattern. It's called a pattern interrupted nlp breaking the pattern of those thoughts and things and go woo. Just one moment, the stop and the pause and the breathing is now no longer pushing away. You're not accepting it by the way, but you're acknowledging it. I just say, well, thank you for this shitty feeling. Made myself laugh again. Thank you for trying to protect me. Thank you for whispering, thank you for getting me to pay attention. Get curious about your unconscious mind and ask what it wants you to know And once you've acknowledged it in this quiet time, and this quiet time doesn't have to be hours and hours, it could just be a couple of minutes. Just for the moment, just get curious. We can all get curious. Just think of a time when you've been curious. Could have been anything. Oh, I think I need to know something. That's curiosity. Get that feeling of curiosity and ask with your internal voice what I am afraid of. What do I need to address? What do I need to change? What is this feeling trying to tell me? and actually be more personal, I think. What are you trying to tell me? You my unconscious mind. What do I need to listen to? Give me a clue. And if you just listen with all your senses, which means not just listening to an internal voice which may be there straight away, but you may get a little memory that you can interpret. Maybe you get that emotion again and you go ah, now I know what it is. Ah yeah, I can address that and ideally will say it as usual. Get that little book with you. Have that little book handy. Phone are good enough. Ish. But a book is better because you can write it down my hand and just ask a question. If it's anxiety, is this feeling of anxiety, what are you trying to tell me? What is this anxiety telling me? What do I need to know? And you see what we're trying to do is go below the surface. Because, the feeling, the negative emotion is an effect, isn't it? It is not the issue. It is a signal. It is a whisper. It's the effect. And we're looking to find the cause of that effect, the thing that is creating that effect. And if you listen, you'll understand it. You'll get it just by acknowledging and taking your time. Because all your unconscious mind wants to do is, is share with you these things we can change. So if it's letting go of, fear, we can start to, well, face it maybe, but face it in small manageable steps. You know, if it's the think about maybe crowds and things like that, we'll just start small, just go to a coffee shop, go out with two people instead of 10. Sometimes it's a matter of having your boundaries, enforcing your boundaries, learning to say no, stop over committing people, pleasing. You don't please people by trying to please them. You don't. And maybe it's past emotions, stories from our past. Maybe you'get an indication, an idea of what went on. But the thing, you don't need to go back there. You can ask the questions. Well, if I knew of that past event without going there, what would I need to learn from it? What can you learn from it? What resources, emotions would have made it different. And you go, well, actually I don’t know another story, Paul. But you know the emotion. So what could be a different emotion that would make this, say, neutralize itself? So and if you do get that memory, well, how could it have been different? What would have been a better way? Yes, it's in the past. And the good thing is the past, it's gone. So now you can practice, if it happened in the future, to do it differently. So if you do, because sometimes we know, we know that this thing is about what happened the other day. Because it doesn't all have to be deep trauma from our past. Well, it is from the past, but you know, from our distant past. Could we, we just did something a little while ago and now we're embarrassed about it, or now we're know we've got a little bit of grief, sadness because we should have done something differently. So how could we have done it different if it happened in the future? How do we act? Be different? And just by doing that, you're, you're listening to the whisper, the whisper of your unconscious mind saying if we do this, you won't have to do it again. You've learned from the past. And that's what I'm saying, you're learning from past events to use in the future. Because there no bloody good. Keep going back to the past, harkeing on about the past. We learn from it. And just as an aside on this, and I've done this again, I'm sure it's on one of the hypnosis tracks. It's all about spinning a different feeling, feelings moving our body and, we can make them spin in a different way. So if you thought about this thing that you wanted to change, how could it be different in the future? You say, well, maybe if I was a little bit more aware, maybe not overconfident, but just comfortably in myself and aware. So what feeling would that be? If I was comfortably aware? And you'd get an idea what it would feel like and just imagine what colour that would be. I, know this is weird, but just imagine what colour that feeling would be. Comfortably aware. And if you did have that comfortably aware of feeling in that color, what direction would it spin? And again, you can just imagine it, make it up. Imagine moving your hand in that circle and you go. And as you make it faster in that colour, if that feeling of comfortably aware gets a little bit more intense, you know you've got that feeling. Using a whisper can give you a different perspective on situations And as you're spinning it, keep the hand moving if you want. And now imagine it out there in the future if it was to happen again, I'd be this way, I'd be different. Notice how you can imagine going through a similar event differently, with a different set of feelings. And notice how your behavurs would change because of those feelings. Notice how you would act differently, your physiology would be different, wouldn't it? Because you're comfortably aware as opposed to being shit scared or embarrassed or whatever. It'd be so much different. And then you can say to your unconscious mind, well, hey, thanks for the, whisper, but what would happen if we used it this way? We began to use our emotions, our behaviours this way, wouldn't it be better? And it all came from a whisper and you stopping and pausing, taking a breath, acknowledging, breaking the pattern, being curious. If you want to have a look for the hypnosis track, have a [email protected] poodcast and I'll send you a little link to the 65 hypnosis tracks. Look down for, for spinning or something like that. You'll see it, it'll jump out at you, it will. If you've got a problem, send Me an email as well and I'll jump out for you. I'll get it for you. Yeah. So there's so much we can do with a wonderful friend of yours giving you little whispers which we initially try to push away. And when we don't push away, we acknowledge we can start taking control. And control is maybe not the right word, but we can be empowered because we're at cause we are deciding how we want to be the best way we want to be the most comfortable way we want to be, the safest way we want to be. And your unconscious mind will jump at the chance to support you because that's what it does. So let's wrap this up a little bit. What do we need to remember from this? Well, you and your unconscious mind are, ah, one, you're one and not the other. And therefore your unconscious mind doesn't want to hurt you, doesn't want to scare you. Sometimes it's the only thing it could do to get your attention, just wants to protect you. So when we remember that, another thing to remember is, well, if we get these whispers, let's listen. Because when we stop, pause and breathe and we listen, we ask the right questions. What are we doing? Well, we're getting a differ perspective. And when you look at things differently, the things you look at are different. And I'll do another episode about getting a different, literally a different perspective on issues. But for the moment I'm just. This is what you're doing when you listen and you start to spin those feelings maybe, or you start to think about how you can do things differently because you've learned from the past. So we can use this as a tool, can't we now? And so this is not a foe to be frightened of. This is your best friend. Let your unconscious mind be your teacher. And what I mean by that is Maybe sometimes we could just review, review the day to come. That's a really weird thing to do. Review the day to come. And what I mean by that is you think about if there's something there that is giving you that negative emotional or a feeling that in the. You think, well, I've got to do this thing today. And it's. I don't feel that confident, maybe feel a little bit anxious. Well, how would I like it to be? What a brilliant question. How would I like it to be? I just imagine, imagine it happening that way. Certainly change the focus of your attention and certainly change the pictures in your mind because you know, you're thinking of how you'd want it to be. And then at the end of the day you might just Want to reflect and, what can I learn from it? So I guess in conclusion, what we're saying is let your unconscious mind be your teacher. Your anxiety as a tool, it s just a signal. Use it as a signal where change is to happen. It's like a little flag. Hey, if this changes, it'll be better. It's like a door that's just open, just opening a bit. And you can open that door to your dreams. You can become aligned with those dreams, your true self, your best self. Let's do it together. Listen, learn, let go and be pausing, reflecting, listening. That's what I want. for us, so we can learn and thereby taking ownership. Ownership of our bloody selves. Did you enjoy that? Did it make sense? Did it make sense? If it didn't make sense, Bloody email me [email protected]. let me know what didn't make sense and I'll try to make better sense of it. If it did resonate with you, you thought, well, maybe that's not you at the moment, but it will help in the future if anything happens. But maybe you know of somebody who is suffering a little bit from these type of feelings, negative feelings. Well, please share this episode with them. Tell them about the podcast, tell them about me, Cluffy. And also go to that hypnosis site. They're all complimetary. I've done it because I want to share what I know. My little bit of selfless service cost me money sticking it up on the website and things like that. But itn't my gift. I learned something and I'm trying to put it into action. Action that we can all use. So go to that hypnosis site at the end of this, I'll give you the I've done it before. A quick 90 seconds of hypnosis all it is and I tell you all about it. So I'll stick that at the end. Okay, have fun and just listen for the whispers. I ll make sense. And with that, enjoy every heartbeat. See you next time, my friend. Bye bye. Paul Clough puts hypnosis tracks on a separate website So the 90 seconds of hypnosis tracks. Why have I put hypnosis tracks on a separate website? Well, it's so simple really. I wanted you to have them all in one place so you can look through them all. You can find the particular one you want. I've even made them...
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FMQ 480 The Antidote To Negative Comments
01/28/2025
FMQ 480 The Antidote To Negative Comments
The Antidote To Negative Comments Yo My Friend! Nit Pickers! Nothing is right for them and they bring you down. This works for our biggest critic - US - YOU!!!!!!! But do you have to be brought down - absolutely not! Come with me for 5 minutes and we'll muse on ways to see the world differently when you take control. Please share And the video of this recording is here: https://youtu.be/0zKd9CdSTTA Shine Brightly 🌟 Paul Hey there! I’d love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at . Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review . Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit . Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to . Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure. Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on , Castbox, , YouTube, or on our . Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨ Music Credits Music by Wataboi, DreamHeaven, ccjmusic, and others from . Personal development [self improvement] [self development] [NLP] [Hypnosis]
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#428 New Year Resolution- What A Dick I Was
01/24/2025
#428 New Year Resolution- What A Dick I Was
New Year Resolution What A Dick I Was I'm Rethinking Resolutions – From Dickishness to Empowerment Hey, welcome back to the Personal Development Unplugged Podcast – your space to dive into the real stuff that makes life better. In today’s episode, we’re shaking things up and rethinking New Year’s resolutions. Ever feel like you’re being a total “dick” for ranting against the whole New Year’s resolution thing? I know I have, and guess what – I’m here to apologize for it. I’ve always felt resolutions should be something we set any day of the year, not just on New Year’s Eve. But hey, who am I to decide? For many, that quiet time between Christmas and New Year is the perfect chance to reflect and set goals. So let’s embrace it! Now, here’s the deal: Instead of falling into the trap of vague and painful resolutions (you know, stuff like “lose weight” or “quit bad habits”), how about we focus on the joy of change? Let’s turn those “shoulds” into “wows” and set resolutions that excite us. How? By making them personal – focusing on what truly matters to you, not what everyone else thinks. Here’s a quick exercise: Grab a notebook and jot down three things you’d like to change about yourself – physically, emotionally, or behaviorally. Now, take about ten minutes and brainstorm anything else you’d like to change or improve. Let your imagination run wild! When you’re done, see if any of these new ideas replace the initial three you wrote down. Next, pick the one change that would make the biggest difference in your life. Ask yourself: What would this change allow me to do? How would it transform my life? What beliefs would support this change? Write those down and let yourself feel the excitement! Now comes the best part: What’s the smallest step you can take toward this change? And, most importantly, schedule it. Small, consistent steps are what lead to the big transformations. Please share what you learn: And don’t worry – I’m here to help. If you need any support or have questions, reach out to me anytime at . Let’s make these resolutions stick – and let’s make changes that really matter. Together, we can make the world a brighter place, one small step at a time. Subscribe, share, and keep growing. Shine Brightly 🌟 Paul Hey there! I’d love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at . Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review . Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit . Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to . Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure. Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on , Castbox, , YouTube, or on our . Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨ Music Credits Music by Wataboi, DreamHeaven, ccjmusic, and others from . And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism Have you ever thought what I thought? And that thought was like the title, what a dick. And that's me I'm talking about, by the way. What a dick am I. What a dick was I. And I had that thought just a little while ago. Why? Why, you ask? Because you're not. You're not a dick, Cloughie. I know you're saying that, really, I wish you well. It'd be nice if you did think that. But, hey, this is where I'm coming from. This is what I was thinking about. every year, every blooming year, I have a rant. I have a rant about New Year's resolutions. And it's about the time, it's about that time. And I was going to do that. I was going to do another rent. You see, most people, and this is what I do, I do it after most people's New Year's resolutions have disappeared. They started them with the best of intentions. Ish. And, they disappear. And I go on this rant saying how crazy it is to do New Year s resolutions in the New Year. Well, wait, I don't know what other time you do New Year s resolution. But, hey, you see, my thought was, why, only at, New year, we've got 365 days plus one on a leap year to make resolutions. And, I thought that was a brilliant thing to say. What a dick. What a bloody dick. Who am I to say what's right or wrong? And, I apologize. I truly, truly, truly apologize for being an absolute dickhead. And that's what I'm doing. I'm apologizing. So why am I doing this podcast now, then? Well, I still believe. I still believe there's 365 days in a year, plus a leap year day and all that stuff. And any day is good for a resolution. But the thing is, as I say, who am I? You see, if for some people, and, I'm one of them sometimes, well, I did it the other day. My son did it the other day. You see, for some people, this period after Christmas, before the New Year, is the only time that there seems to be time present. There seems to be spare time. It's a time of the year where we forget what day it is. You know, is it a Monday? Is it Tuesday, whatever. But there seems to be more time present. And I think sometimes the masses, the noise turns to New Year's resolutions. You know, we're pushed, I think, into New Year's resolutions. I heard the other day on the radio these people telling how good New Year's resolutions were. And I did buy it. I did buy it. I was going to do my little rant and again, what a dick. And then, then a bloody thought about it. Hooray. I thought to myself, don't be such a dick if that's what people do, if this is what we do. Because you did it yourself, Cluer. You sat down last night actually, and started to think about what you really want. It is a time to help people with that process, to help people with the process of resolutions. You use resolutions to make them successful. And the thing is, what I thought to myself was, if I can give that a little bit of help, share a couple of ways that would make that process successful. So New Year's resolution actually doesn't just bloody disappear, doesn't fade away. Then, maybe we'll start to think about that other 364 or five days that at any time when, when we do some change work, we just decide to do it. Because that day, that time will be right. So let's just have a little look or. New Year's resolutions tend to be pretty general, don't they Well, I had a little look. What, are New Year's resolutions? Yeah, I know that it's something we want to do, but just think about for a moment. I did. They tend to be pretty general, don't they? And I think they tend to be peer pressure, media pressure, you know, all that noise pressure. Lose weight. I'm gonna lose weight this year. I'm, gonna stop drinking this year. I'm gonna cut down my alcohol. I'm gonna run miles and miles and miles and miles and miles a day. And I'm going to start stop doing stuff. I'm, going to stop doing the stuff that I've been doing. I want to start doing other stuff. But when we look at each one of those, losing weight, stop drinking, running miles, stop doing the stuff that we've been doing for a long time, start doing stuff that we haven't done for a long time. I think the initial thought is, that's bloody painful. It doesn't enthused, does it? it doesn't jump out and go, yeah, yippee, I'm gonna lose weight. That's going toa be easy. O I'm just going toa stop drinking because I like drinking. I want toa run miles a day. Yeah. And all that stuff. So why wouldn't they bloody fel there we all hate pain, don't we? We all love some pleasure, don't we? I love pleasure. Pleasure is a nice thing. Wallowing. Pleasure is one of the little things I love to say. You know, there's something that gives you pleasure, wallow in it. Because it's a nice thing. And you're generally pretty safe when you do that in the world, or pretty safe in the world when you do that. It's like carrot and stick. Do you like being whoop round the head with a stick or do you be like. Or do you like being given a treat? I know that if you give someone a compliment compliment on something that they generally genuinely not generally genuinely have done a pretty good job, they will do it even better. And the stuff that they don't do quite so good, that comes up as well. Yet if you just criticize with that stick, they just retreat into a shell, and nothing gets better. so how can I help change that? That's what I thought. How can I help? Well, I look back and I use Cast Box a lot. That's a lovely little app for listening to podcasts. And, I've subscribed to my own podcast, the Personal Development unplugged podcast, just like you have. You have, you did, didn't you? If you haven't do it now. Do it right now. Just subscribe. You'll get the podcast Wednesdays and a Saturday. And you see, I look back through podcasts because you can search. And I just put the search term, goal in and there's at least 15 episodes comes up in that search just for the term gold. So I've done loads of episodes. Two very specific ones I did around about. It was in February. So it's like this thing after my rant, I then wanted to do something positive. So hash 271 and 272, which was a part two about the alternative or something. I think it was called the antidote to achieving your goals. Something like that. Now, you could do that. You could just say, Cloughie, you're such a, such a wonderful person. You're no dick. You've done all of this. I could listen to each one of those. You could, and I really hope you do. Certainly. 271-272-Because I know if you made a commitment to listen to those things would make a difference in your life, things would change. But before you do that, make a note. T71, T72 or search goal now come up. If you could change three things about you, what would they be But before you do that, having, made that note, let's just park that for the moment. And I want you to park all that peer pressure, all the things you should be doing, and we should all over ourselves what people say we should be doing, how we should look, how we should act, how we should behave. The noise, I, When I say the noise, it's like all those bloody. I'm, on it. I know TikTok and Facebook and all that stuff, but there's so much pressure there. And once you get clicking on one bit, it just keeps coming and you get more pressure. You start comparing against other people, or I should be like that, should be like that again, shooting all over ourselves. And then there's maybe pressure from the family, our friends. I call it peer pressure. But family pressure, partner pressure. And there's the pressure of the past. We look back how I used to be, how I always thought I wanted to be, and this is what I could have been and should have been and didn't do a good have, woulda, should have. So I want you to park all of that. That s. That's a pain, isn't it? That is the pain. So park it all. We don't need it. We don't want it. I just want you to think of this. And ideally, please have a little notebook. You've got one of those little notebooks, haven't you? Because we've talked about that before. A little piece of paper, a pen, pencil, and, I just want you to think for a moment. Think for a moment. If you were to change three things about you, if you could change three things about you, maybe physically, emotionally, behavurable, I your behave as your habits, maybe spiritually, maybe mentally, maybe I said issually, because I don't know that's a word. But what I mean is if there are issues that you, are affecting, you could be anxiety, could be guilt, could be a lack of confidence, could be, oh, I don't know, fear of anything, impostor syndrome, OCD anything like that. That'sually. So you've got physically, emotionally, behaviorally, spiritually, mentally and any other section. If there was just three things that you could change, what would they be? Now, I know you first of all think, well, actually, I don't know if I can change. No, no, no, I didn't say that. I said if you could. If you knew that you could make those changes right now without any fear of failure and they would make a, difference, the most difference in your life, what would those three things be? And don't worry about it for the moment, you Think. Oh, I can't pick that. Just pick three. Pick three that come to mind now and make a note of them. That so s all I want you to do. Just make a note of them for the moment. Yeah, Just three things. So imagine. Because if it was just imagination, you know you're not gonna do it. You know, you're not get my words right, Cly. They're not gonna change right now. So therefore it doesn't matter what you imagineus. You can have what you want. What you want. Not what other people want. Not the noise, not the family, not the past, not the peers. Peer pressure. Three things that if you think that if you were to have them now change, they would make the most difference in your life. I just write them down. Just write them down. Okay, that's eas, isn't it? Now I know you thought don't really need to write that down because I can remember three things now. I said write them down because we're gonn do something else now. I want you to write them down. And now I want you to take 10 minutes. Oh no, you've all got 10 bloody minutes. Everyone's got 10 minutes. And if you need to just pause this when you have 10 minutes and when you do, I want you to come back to, with that piece of paper, a different piece of paper. Because I want you to write what I want you to do for in 10 minutes, non stop, I want you to write out everything and anything that you would change. Absolutely everything. Don't let that pen leave the paper. Just go for it, man. Just go for it. No editing, no criticism, know nothing and just do it. And once you get the first two or three out, it will flow. And if you want to just pause and do it now, just go for it. Anything, and everything big, small, or big. Anything and everything that you like to have differently, to be different. And then at the end of that 10 minutes and if you did pause and now you've come back, what I want you to do is look at that list, what you've written on that page. Hopefully it's a big list. And when you look at though, everything on, that page or pages, open them out, does any one of those, maybe more than one, replace those first three things that you thought about when I asked you what would, if you could just change three things, what would they be? And just look. Because what sometimes happens is we pick the first three and they're the ones that we've been thinking about for years and years and years. And years and years. We've put in New Year's resolutions or whatever for years and years and years and years and years. And they're the stock. We just go in there, pick em out and that's a stock reply, the answer. And sometimes when we just load out all these different alternatives that we could have, it's like our unconscious mind and conscious mind come together and throw up something that's really real, that when you look at it, you go, shit, that would be good. That would really be good. I just look down that liston, see it. You'll get it. You'll see it. It'll jump out of you and go, well, that would. There's two there. Or maybe you find three new ones, it doesn't matter. But you find you take the first three and then if you replace any one, two or three of them, just do that. Find the things at, those top three now. And they're not casting stone by the way. We can change these as we go along. This is just to get you really going. But those top three, get them and I want you again, another piece of paper. Shitload of paper this isn't it, but it's good. Small steps done consistently have an incremental difference. I've talked about smaller steps before I want you to think and write at the same time. Because when you write you really think. That's what thinking is when you really get into writing. What would this change allow me to do? Allow me to be different? Just write that, if I was to be this, I have this in my life, how would that be different for me? What would that allow me to do? What new things would it attract? How would my life change? And go 1, 2, 3. Do each one individually. And as you write them, see in your mind's eye and notice each one feels so good. Mmm, yeah, they would feel yummy. I don't know why yummy came r over my head, but that'd feel so good. Each one. And as you look back at the first one again, what belief would you have to have when you've got this change inside you, when you're doing it? What's that wonderful positive belief, I can do this, I've got it. Things m like that, what type of belief you have? Make the bugger up and you'll probably find that the feelings are the same. Ish. And this belief would work for each one of them as well. Well, maybe two beliefs, whatever it is, but they'd work for each other interchangeable. And they're so positive. And when you look at all three of them now, what you've described how you feel it, that belief. Notice the one that would make the most difference, the one that you said, out of those three, if I could only have one, what would it be? The one that would make the most difference in my life. And when you do that, put a bloody great big line under it, put a highlighter over it, write number one. Yay. And then think to yourself, okay, fine. What'the one small step that I could do now, what is one small step? The smaller step. I've talked about smaller steps before. Small steps done consistently have an incremental difference. They're marvellous, they're brilliant. Don't marvelous. But hey, write down what's the one small step that you could do? Do you know what you're gonna do? Younna schedule it, do it. If you can do it now, do it. If you can do it this afternoon, do it. If you can do it tomorrow morning, do it. Schedule it down, set it on your phone, put an alarm on and do it. And once you're doing that one, think to yourself, what's the next small step I could do? Look at it again. This is that one thing. This is what it's going to allow me to do. This is what it's going to feel. This is a belief I've got about myself. Do it. Act as if we've talked about. Act as if that's on the hypnosis tracks as well. If you want a little bit of help of acting as if that would be it. The five keys to success. It's another episode and another. I think I've done that in a hypnosis track would help you get into that. Picking one small step and then another and then another. And as you start to do that and you make the incremental steps of success, you'll find you will change. Those changes will come to you naturally because you've now set your intention. You know how good it feels. Your unconscious mind is latched onto this. You're in alignment. And then as you just start to that, you can look at maybe the second one out of the two that's left. Which one? If I had only one of those two, what one could I start? What one would I have now? What would make the most difference? Pick that one and think to yourself, guess what, what would be the smallest step I could do to do that while I'm doing the others? If I could add to this, maybe I'm only going toa do this one, once a week. So what's the step I'm gonna make this week, because the other one I'm doing, I, don't know, three or four steps a week, one every...
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FMQ 479 Learning From a Wiser You
01/21/2025
FMQ 479 Learning From a Wiser You
Learning From a Wiser You I bet you would like to think a the older version of you would be a lot wiser than you are now, with all that experience and learning. What would happen what would you learn if you could connect to that wiser you What would they share with you Let's go inside and make that connection in this 5-minute Quickie episode. Ask and simply listen :O) This may seem a little weird (weird is good by the way) but let's do it anyway. Please share: And the video Shine Brightly 🌟 Paul Hey there! I’d love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at . Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review . Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit . Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to . Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure. Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on , Castbox, , YouTube, or on our . Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨ Music Credits Music by Wataboi, DreamHeaven, ccjmusic, and others from . Personal development [self improvement] [self development] [NLP] [Hypnosis]
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#427 Letting Go of Anxiety and Loneliness
01/17/2025
#427 Letting Go of Anxiety and Loneliness
Letting Go of Anxiety and Loneliness -The Deeper Dive Breaking the Cycle of Anxiety and Loneliness Transforming Isolation into Connection Hey there, my unplugged friends! Welcome back to another episode of the Personal Development Unplugged Podcast—the place where we keep things real, relatable, and ridiculously helpful. Today, we’re tackling, again but deeper, what so many of us experience: the sneaky, self-reinforcing loop of anxiety and loneliness. You know the one—it starts with feeling anxious, which leads to withdrawal, which leads to loneliness... and before you know it, you’re caught in a cycle that’s hard to escape. But don’t worry, we’re diving deep into how to break free and rediscover connection. What We’ll Chat About Today Previously, we explored some practical tips like sending a simple text or making small, meaningful connections in your day-to-day life. These are brilliant starting points, but what if they don’t quite hit the mark? That’s where the deeper work begins. In this episode, we’ll uncover how your unconscious mind might actually be keeping these feelings of anxiety and loneliness around for a reason. Yep, your unconscious is trying to help you—just in an outdated, unhelpful way. Here’s the thing: anxiety and loneliness often stem from old patterns that were created to protect you in the past. We’ll ask powerful questions like: What is this anxiety or loneliness trying to protect me from? Where did these feelings first come from? By understanding the positive intention behind these emotions, you can guide your unconscious mind to let go of what doesn’t serve you anymore and replace it with something that does. Practical Steps for Transformation I’ll share simple but powerful exercises, like jotting down your qualities and strengths or visualizing the version of you that you’re ready to step into. These tools help you tap into the wisdom and resilience you already have inside. And hey, if this feels overwhelming, don’t go it alone. A skilled therapist can be an incredible guide in this process, helping you uncover the root cause of what’s holding you back. Let’s Make a Change Together So, are you ready to unplug from anxiety and loneliness? Let’s turn these challenges into an opportunity to grow, connect, and shine even brighter. Subscribe, press play, and share this journey with someone who needs it. Shine Brightly 🌟 Paul Hey there! I’d love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at . Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review . Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit . Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to . Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure. Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on , Castbox, , YouTube, or on our . Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨ Music Credits Music by Wataboi, DreamHeaven, ccjmusic, and others from . And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism We talked about the link between anxiety and loneliness a while ago Hey, a little while ago we talked about that link between anxiety and loneliness, isn't we? And we did some cognitive work, but we talked about how anxiety and loneliness seemed to feed off each other, don't they? There's a cycle, I remember that word inextricably linked. I said, and to do something about them we needed to break the pattern. We needed a pattern interrupt, didn't we? And what we talked about was more cognitive stuff, I guess, things to do consciously. So with the anxiety I talked about reaching out to people to consciously reach out. Maybe just a text to somebody saying something like hey, just thinking about you wondered how you were just reaching out to somebody. Just generally not wanting anything in return but just making that just to know there's people out there. And then there was that loneliness where we, we were seeking connection, micro connections. And I said things like when you go to the coffee, coffee shop just and literally not just when go to a coffee shop and talk to the barista. Hey, thanks man. You lovely cup of. I love the way you do that milk. And just little things that smile to somebody just making connections, micro connections, you see, they all work. And even if this anxiety loneliness link is creating real problems, they still work. Because small baby steps call, small incremental steps help break the pattern. They act as pattern interrupts. And those synaptic gaps of yours in your neuroplasticity and all that stuff that I have no idea what I'm talking about is they fire and wire together. You're setting up new connections little by little. And little by little these micro changes, incremental changes add up to something huge over a few days, over a month. So whether loneliness and anxiety is a little thing in your life that, that will work things like joining classes. And I said, you know, for me, if I was doing it, I would join a cookery. Cause I like cookery. Or cooking, creating things in the kitchen. And so at the worst if I didn't meet anybody, I'd come out with some really good skills, but I would meet somebody like minded people. And you don't have to go out your way to, to make that conversation ca. Because they're just there in the room. That's a little thing. So even, but even if you've got this issue of loneliness and the link, with anxiety and it's more, more of a problem to you now. Those little things are things that just will help, I don't know, just break the pattern. They call it in nlp, loosening the model of the world. Because at the moment you're in this model or you have this model of the world that is so tight it's yours and you believe there's nothing else. But then when you start to loosen it by doing these little micro things, things just happen or you create little cracks in them to allow new stuff in. So if this is though something that is getting to be a real problem now, I would always say without a shadow of a doubt, go and seek help, professional help, one to one therapy. Get into therapy if you can face to face. Did great work online and I love working online, but I prefer working one to one. Why do I prefer one to one? Because when you're in the room with somebody, you just get a little bit more, I don't know, intimate signaling. You can see the whole body. So if there's any communication, nonverbal communications that your unconscious mind is giving and they become clearer. But as I say, online works just as well. It just takes a little, it's another skill, I guess. But if you can see it one to one, as I said before, go. And for me anyway, this is my, it's my field that I grew up in or was trained in. It's really looking for someone who's a master hypnotist, someone who's really good at hypnosis, who can really help guide your unconscious mind to find what it needs to learn and let go of this anxiety and this loneliness, to notice what the conflicts are and just let it go. But not only just a master hypnotist, I would suggest someone who is excellent in NLP and timeline therapy. Because you tend to find. What I found is people who have those three skills, they just seem to get results really quickly and they're results that come through in a comfortable way. You don't have to go and revisit the old any traumas of the past. You don't have to worry about that because it's not gonna happen. It's your unconscious mind that learns from the past. You just have to know how you do what you do and how you want to be. And that's the most important thing, how you want to be. But it's that philosophy of understanding. Your unconscious mind is doing something for you, but it's now no longer inappropriate. The behaviours and emotions are no Longer appropriate. But I do understand that can be a bit expensive for some people. It can be. Now what I always do is I would say to you, first of all, if you are going to seek professional help, make sure you get a consultation. Because before you do the work you really want to find if you are comfortable with what that person is going to do, how they do it, what is their philosophy and does it resonate with you and ah, are you comfortable with them? Because if you don't tick those two boxes and you have to tick both, find somebody else that ticks those two boxes if you tick those two boxes I'm comfortable with. You may not understand what you're saying, but it feels like the right thing. You've explained it in a way that resonates with me. I think you're gonna get a really good result. But then you might sayie cluy, I've done that. I ve found someone but they're a bit expensive. And when I say expensive, it's more than I can afford. That's the difference. And if it's more than you can afford, ask do you do any concessionary rates? Cause I really can't afford it. And generally and I can't speak for everyone, maybe just ourselves, my sons and I, we offer accessory rates for people who can't afford it, really can't afford it or you know, maybe on hard times they just can't afford it but they really need to help and we will reduce the rate. The other thing you can do, you can ask to pay it forward. Is there something I can do for you in return? You know, do that like for like. And sometimes you find that you have skills that that person would want, maybe just be muscle skills. But hey, you've really got to ask because I really want you to get that therapy. And by the way, what I'm talking about now will also help and it will not hinder your therapy because this is all looking to assist you to make those change or make those changes and as I say, loosen that model of the world. So when you do get into that therapy, boom, it happens even better, even quicker. But the thing is, is that it if I just say oh, we just stop here? No, of course not. It wouldn't be personal development unplugged and all the stuff that we do now, we've talked about therapies, I go do that, go and have a good look and if you're having any issues, send me an email and I'll try to guide you to the Right type of. Or right type of questions to ask. I'll tell you the email later, but do that. But the thing is this anxiety. Let's go there now. Anxiety and the loneliness. Let's get a little bit deeper. I said we're gonna dive deeper on it. And I want you to be able to, to do some more work on yourself. Not just those little cognitive, consciously incremental behavior changes, but let's get a little bit deeper, right? Because I, know it doesn't feel good to it. And if things don't feel good, it means it's not working. And when I say it's not working, it means your unconscious mind, whatever it's trying to do for you, and it's doing something positive for you, always trying to, but it's just using inappropriate behaviors and emotions and things like that now because it's making you feel maybe, I don't know, that anxiety is causing you to feel overwhelmed. Maybe there's some sadness, some grief. Maybe you're just getting really unconfident now. You know, you get that, uh, impostor syndrome You know, you get that, impostor syndrome. Or you get I'm stuck in the house or my m place and I don't want to go out anymore. Or maybe things like ocd, you get different behaviors suddenly coming up. They're all little different effects that you can get. But the real thing to do is, yes, you've got all those. And they're all labels and they're all effects. And the thing is, they are all effects of this inextricable link. I love saying that word, inextricable link between loneliness and the anxiety that's just feeding off each other. And we're not go going to deal with the overall. We're not going deal with the sadness. We're not gonna deal with the grief. We're not going to deal with the unconfidence, and impostor syndromes in isolation. Cause as I say, they're purely effects. And you don't deal with the effects we deal with the root cause. Because when we deal with that, we get empowered and things have to just let go. They just have to go disappear. Cloughie: What does anxiety and loneliness do for you in the positive Here's the question. What is this anxiety, loneliness doing for you? What is it trying to do for you in the positive? That's what we want to find out. What is, we call it the positive intention. Now, you would probably say when I'm feeling overwhelmed, when I'm feeling sad, when I'm grieving, when I feel unfident and all that other stuff, I find it very difficult, Cloughie to say, well, there's something positive here. But I assure you there is. Come with me. Because I know that it's protecting you and'protecting you from what? And that's what we want to find out because this is all to do with protection. So how do you find out? How do you find out? Well, we're going to ask questions. That's the thing. We're going toa look into that feeling, the emotions and the beliefs that are. That are there supporting this and notice what is this loneliness protecting you from what now? And also in the beginning, if you could go back a little bit in your lifetime, go back into the past and just instead of going into any traumatic events, just notice what are the type of things, what type of context is this loneliness and anxiety protect you from? And I'm going to give you a couple of example, examples. I'll say that clearly. I'll give you a couple. I say, I say it clearly. And I didn't. What are these? O here we go. I'll give you a couple of examples. Well done, Cluy. You got it out. Or maybe things at the beginning was just not looking silly in front of people, not doing things what you were considered to be right or they might think as being right, good enough. Maybe it's protecting you or for embarrassment keeping you away from the spotlight. A lot of people sometimes get to. To feel invisible, seeing that quite a number of times with my clients, they just feel invisible and they don't like that feeling and that makes them feel lonely, that gives them anxiety. But it's trying to do something for you. You see, you don't want to look silly. That would be not nice. You don't want to appear not to be able to do things right or good enough. You don't want to put yourself into positions where you'd feel embarrassed, keep you away from the spotlight. All of those are wonderful positive, wonderful positive intention to protect you from all those type of emotions. But the thing is, it doesn't feel good, does it, when you're like that? Because normally what happens is when you're. Or there tends to be a direct conflict, they're the complete reverse. My words today, the complete reverse. The complete opposite. Because it's your unconscious mind is trying to stop you looking silly, not doing things right. And you don't. But the thing is when you do that, you feel silly. You feel that you can't do it right. You feel embarrassed. It hurts to be away from the spotlight because you'd like not necessarily to be in the spotlight, but you don't want to be away from the spotlight either. And the thing is, it's acknowledging that your unconscious mind is trying to do something for you, not pushing it away. Because when you push things away, they generally push back harder. The more you push and the more you think about the negative things, the how much you don't want it tends to come back even stronger. Because what you think about most of the time is what you get whether you like it or not. And if you're thinking about this anxiety, this loneliness, guess what? You get more of it because you find more of it. Now the thing is, the real philosophy of this, type of thing, I guess, is to say, well, acknowledge your unconscious mind for doing something so, positive for you for such a long time. But if you were to learn from it, learn from the emotions, learn from the very first time, maybe learn from the complete conflict that's going on now and change it. Because you still want to be protected, don you, you want to be protected from embarrassment, you want to be protected from not being good enough, looking silly, not doing it right. But also you want to feel empowered and comfortable. And when you don't feel empowered and comfortable, it means your unconscious mind is now using inappropriate behaviors and beliefs. That's all. And if you were have changed that, wouldn't it be nice if you knew, without doubt, and you believed without doubt that whatever you did, you wouldn't look silly, you wouldn't look like you couldn't do, it right. You wouldn't be embarrassed and you could choose to be not necessari're in the spotlight, but you wouldn't be hiding. That, would d be brilliant, wouldn't it? And it's really a matter of now just educating your unconscious mind that is no longer working. Because you see, way back then in the past, when your unconscious mind created, chose to use these behavurss, emotions and beliefs, you were little, I don't know how little, how young. But whatever happens, you had very little wisdom. You had very little experience in the world. So what your unconscious mind could choose to use, as in skills, beliefs and emotions were very few and far between. You know that now you have a massive chunk of experience, a massive chunk of wisdom and knowledge that you didn't have then. So one of the questions we could ask is what was our missing back then? What didn't I know back then that I know now? What emotions, have I got now? Positive emotions that would help me be the way I want to be that I didn't have back then. What skills do I have now that I didn't have back then? And you have a myriad of all of them. now, what you could do ca. Because you might say to cluy, yeah, that makes a lot of sense. But I don't know what they are. Well, there's a number of ways we can find out. One of them is to do a thing called my qualities. It's a little process that I brought out a long time ago when I was in my little darkest times and I had to find out what my qualities were for being alive. And you just write down like a big mind map in the middle of circle saying, my qualities or the qualities of Paol not for you. You put your own name down and you draw lines away from that circle, and you just write down any quality that you've ever, ever, ever, ever had. So there is a longer podcast on this. I can't remember the number for the life of me, but you could search it. But there's also a hypnosis track in my complimentary 65 plus free hypnosis, processes. Find that one, and you can play with that to find the qualities that you have and then say to your unconscious mind, look, these are the qualities I have now. These are all the things I've learned. And they don't have been in any particular context. They're in every context. And these are what we're not using. What would it be like if we use them in place of the others? The way I'm working now, now you say, well, I understand that. Cloughie again, I'm getting there a little bit. So then I'd say, well, okay, well, you've got an idea. The qualities you have. You might even just imagine a younger you in front of you You might even just imagine a younger you in front of you. And this is a weird thing, but it's a lovely...
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FMQ 478 Let's Push Negative Emotions Away - No!
01/15/2025
FMQ 478 Let's Push Negative Emotions Away - No!
Let's Push Negative Emotions Away - No! Ever had a sad feeling for no reason? or simply down? or even a feeling that just doesn't feel good and you don't know why? Yeah, Me too. And the first thing we try to do is push it away and it doesn't and usually gets a little more stronger, more intense. Why is that? And What can we do to make it disappear? Follow me by pressing play and I'll share with you my thoughts and ways to help and counterintuitively (which seems t0 always work) it's NOT by pushing it away, down or in any other direction. :O) Please share so others may learn as well as you do Shine Brightly 🌟 Paul Hey there! I’d love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at . Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review . Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit . Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to . Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure. Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on , Castbox, , YouTube, or on our . Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨ Music Credits Music by Wataboi, DreamHeaven, ccjmusic, and others from . Personal development [self improvement] [self development] [NLP] [Hypnosis]
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#426 The Cycle Of Anxiety And Loneliness And How To Break It
01/11/2025
#426 The Cycle Of Anxiety And Loneliness And How To Break It
The Cycle Of Anxiety And Loneliness and How To Break It Breaking Free from Anxiety and Loneliness Simple Steps to Reconnect and Feel Whole Again Have you ever felt like anxiety and loneliness are teaming up against you? Like one just makes the other worse, and you're stuck in this cycle? Don’t worry—you’re not alone. In this episode, we’re unpacking how these two sneaky emotions work together and, more importantly, how you can break the cycle. Think of this as a friendly chat with practical tips to help you reconnect with the world around you. We’ll look at easy, doable steps to bring a bit more connection and calm into your life. It’s not about overhauling everything at once; it’s about small steps that make a big difference. Here’s what we’ll dive into: The Anxiety-Loneliness Loop: Why these feelings are so closely tied and how they can spiral out of control if you’re not careful. Simple Wins: Easy ways to start reconnecting—like sending a text, smiling at someone, or chatting with your barista. Finding Your People: How doing things you love can naturally bring you closer to others. The Magic of Intention: How a little intention and a bit of action can open the door to meaningful change. This isn’t just talk—this episode is packed with practical stuff you can try today. Whether you’re feeling a little off or stuck in a tough spot, these steps can help you find your way back to connection, calm, and maybe even a little joy. The first step? Just listen in. Sometimes, that’s all it takes to get things moving in the right direction. Oh, and if you know someone who could use this right now, feel free to share—it might just be the nudge they need. Take care, shine brightly, and I’ll see you on the other side. Warm wishes, Paul Shine Brightly 🌟 Paul Hey there! I’d love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at . Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review . Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit . Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to . Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure. Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on , Castbox, , YouTube, or on our . Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨ Music Credits Music by Wataboi, DreamHeaven, ccjmusic, and others from . And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism Hey there, you. How you doing? Ye, You. You were the old earpuds on. This episode focuses on the cycle of anxiety and loneliness Welcome to another episode of the Personal Development Unplug podcast. And today we're going to cut through even more fluff, try to get down to the nitty gritty of how things work. And it's all about this time, the cycle of anxiety and loneliness. So what we're going to look at, we're going to look at, I guess, how loneliness and anxiety, well, they just link together. One comes with the other, the other one comes with the other. And not only do they come with each other, they're linked, but they feed off each other. And, it's a cycle that can just, well, spin out of control sometimes. So I'm gonna look at all of that, plus some steps change. Because I just want you to know that everything is changeable. So if you're anxious and you're lonely together, we can find new ways. And this episode will be a little bit more general, giveiving you some, I'd call it like cognitive steps to change. And then on another episode, we can dive deeper if there's more emotional, root causes behind loneliness and that anxiety. Okay, so let's have a think. The more anxious I get, the more isolated and lonely I feel This vicious cycle, and what do I mean by vicious cycle? You see, I don't know about you, but when I get a little bit anxious now, I get that feeling, that feeling. Sometimes maybe my gut, it doesn't feel really good. You know, I, tend to feel very much alone, very much isolated. And it's. I don't know, it's like if it was with you. But I don't want to reach out for people. I don't. And that's when that loneliness sweeps in as well. And that feeds your anxiety and they just keep going on together. One feeds off the other, doesn't that. The more anxious I get, the more isolated and lonely I feel. I don't want to reach out. And then I even start to question my worth. No, what about me and, what about those relationships I. I thought I hadn and I haven't got because I'm just by myself, and that makes me boring, anxious. And you see, it's as if that anxiety is feeding off the loneliness, and the loneliness is only magnifying the anxiety. For, Fuck's sake. One's bad enough, isn't it? Anxiety, at a level is overwhelming andeed deliberate. I can't even say the word, but it stops you doing stuff. And now it's linked with this, loneliness of being unconnected, disconnected. Oh, blimey. So what's the question? What's the question we should ask ourselves? Well, how do we break the bloody cycle? How do we break that cycle? And I think we need to approach it in this particular episode in two parts. And the first one is looking at that anxiety, that feeling inside, which is in some ways turning you into a state of isolation, your isolated state. And it's as if your anxiety grows louder, doesn't it? It starts to just intensify itself. And before we get too isolated, there's such an easy step to make and all we have to do, it'a very, very small step because you know me, we don't want to do the big steps. Because if you try a big step, what happens? I'll tell you, the little metaphor I use is if you're trying to cross a stream, you're on one side and you're in this anxious state or any emotional state and you want to change, you want to jump to the other side of the stream. Well, if it's too bloody big or you find some stepping stones and they're too far apart, what happens? We try to jump and we get fucking wet. And all the. Everything which we're trying to miss out on. But if we can just find small steps that allow us to cross that stream. And you find as you do one small step and the next step might be a little bit bigger, but you're more confident, you're more confident in yourself, you're more comfortable in yourself. And you can take that little bit, little bit bigger step. Not huge, just a little bit bigger. And then you get more confident in that and you can, you build off it, you get more motivated, you can. Well, you just connect with all your energy, your motivation. And then the next one and the next one and the next one, it gets bigger and bigger and then we're on the other side. So we need to. Going back to this, stopping the doubts, the doubts of this isolation Going back to this, getting into and, stopping the doubts, the doubts of this isolation, this disconnection. A small step. And it could be as simple as texting somebody. And, not a needy text. O well, I'm anxious and things like that. No, no, no, no, no. Just a little text that you'd like to hear. Something I'LIKE how you doing, mate? Thinking about you, that's all. Just wondered how you're getting on and that's just opening the door, opening the door. and in some ways, as you do this, you'll find that your unconscious mind begins to realize that you're actually not alone. And you're building a bridge out of this anxiety and the doubts of disconnection or the doubts of connection. Simple little things like, a little text. Doesn't even have to be a phone call because maybe that's a step too big, just a small step. And as you do that, you may get into a conversation and suddenly your unconscious mind goes, actually, yeah, we have got connections. And the anxiety around this particular issue begins to subside. Yes, I know there could be deeper issues around anxiety and disconnection. And we'll go into those, like root causes and how to deal with that with real specific processes. Call it at an emotional level, psychological level. But now we're doing the cognitive steps you can take. As soon as you feel that feeling of anxiety around disconnection, being alone, does that all make sense? Does to me. And it's doable, isn't it? And that's the whole point about this episode. I want to find doable things that you could do right now. You know, we don't have to spend hours thinking about, it writing it down you can do. We're gonna find better than quicker ways than that, by the way. But these are things that you can do yourself right now, as soon as it comes. Cause you're going to break that bloody cycle. Remember, it's called a pattern interrupt. And it's just showing your unconscious mind, hey, not this, but this. And if you keep doing that every time it happens, not this, but this, it will surely just disconnect and, let you, and allow you to connect. Loneliness is not absence of people, it's lack of connection Okay, now what's the other side of this? But it's that bloody loneliness, isn't it? Let's have a little look at loneliness. And now some people would think loneliness is the absence of people, and it's bloody not, is it? Because if you really feel lonely, have you ever felt lonely? I know I have. And I'm a little bit of an introvert. And I can. I'm happy in my own space, in a crowd, but I've also been in a crowd and felt very lonely. So it's not the absence of people. Because I know that sometimes with the absence of people, I can really enjoy myself because I do know I'm connected with other people. So I've got that in my unconscious mind and my conscious mind. I know if I wanted to, I can connect. But at this moment, I choose not to. So it's not loneliness, not Isolation, it's just me being with me. But real loneliness is, as they say, not the absence of people, but it's that lack of. And the absence of connection. And it's a trait of human beings. We need like a community, we need to be able to connect and it's one of the things that keep you healthy. Yes, you've got to keep fit. Yes, you've got to eat right. Yes, you've got to get your brain going. But you also need connection with community. They're the three pillars. So if you start to notice a little bit of loneliness and sometimes we feel that by it's hard to find those connections and guess what, there's that bloody anxiety then start to build in. You see that inextricably. And I got that word, that's brilliant. I didn't think I was going to get it out of my mouth. But they're inextricably. I see. I knew I'd fall over. They're linked, aren't they? And they really are. So again, we're talking about feeling that it's harder to connect with people, harder to make those connections. That's where loneliness and then that link inextricably want to say it again. Once you start seeking connection, anxiety will fall and you're showing that you are connected So what can you do? What can you do to seek connection? Because again, once you start seeking connection, the anxiety will fall and you're showing that you are connected. You're building bridges out of this, you're breaking the cycle patterningrupts. And if we do it right, the early stages, and this is what we're really talking about in this particular episode, the early stages, we're creating new ways, not this, but that. So how we'got toa do the house, how can we do that? How can we seek connection? And again, no big jumps, no big jumps to being solely vulnerable and going to find someone and talk and you've never spoken to before and you're going toa layer out your whole life and no, no, no, no, no, that's both vulnerable but also bloody needy. And people don't like needy people, they don't need them. But things like now, again, think of small steps, but those steps get a little bit bigger with each step you take. Because like that stream, you get more confident, you get more comfortable. And that's what it's all about, being comfortable in yourself. Because then you're choosing, choosing either not to be around people or choosing to be with people because you're connected and you understand that connection. So what could you do? What could you do? Well, go to a coffee Shop, buy, drink coffee, pool. Well, drink something else, cup of tea, do something, a cold, whatever, but you can. So go and sit in a coffee shop for a little while, maybe read a book, do some work, whatever it is, to get you into a coffee shop and just say a few words to that barista like, thanks so much, this really is a lovely cup of coffee. how's your day? Thanks for this. How's your day? And mean it, don't fob it, don't pretend, because it is. They're doing you a lovely service. They made you a lovely cup of coffee. Thank you so much. Oh, I love that. I love that, that design you did with the milk. I wish I could do that. That's a first little step or maybe even simpler than that. If you see someone as you're walking by, you just smile. You've seen it before, people have done it to you, they smile. And that's bloody infectious, isn't it? Because you can't help but smile back, you know, make sure they're not weird, you know what I mean? You see someone who just walking by and you just smile, hi there, walk past. Especially if they're in your own community, you know, you see somebody a few times and you haven't spoken so you know they're okay. You just walk past, go smile and say, hi there, how's your day? And that's it, that little bit of connection. Cause each one of these will get a little bit deeper, a little bit bigger. And the thing is even like just saying thanks with a smile and smiling at people and asking them, hey, good to see you walking on. They both just feel good if it does nothing at all. They just feel good for yourself. But they also give, I know they give a good feeling to those people who receive that. And if you're going to ask that question, if you're going to ask, say that if you do ask a question of somebody you know, how's your weekend go? Maybe it's a colleague at work, maybe it's just someone you're next door, you do know them like a neighbour, someone in your community, you might just say, how was your weekend? How did it go? Because you're not asking m them, why are they all right, you're asking an open ended question, how'did your weekend go? And listen. Because if you really listen, you are doing them the ultimate service of paying attention to them. And everyone likes to have attention paid to them. And it's just a little step. You don't have to go into in depth of everything about them. Just that's a start. And we have to start small and then get incrementally bigger. I am using such long words here now. You could then as you get incremental bigger, incre. See, I fell over again incrementally bigger. You might want to say volunteer for something so you can go in and you can go out or maybe and I love this one. As these steps get bigger, you might think of well, I love cooking. I'm going to take a cookery class. Or I love learning a language. So I'm going to take a language class. Or I love drawing art. I'm going to take an art class. I love reading. I'mn to join a reading group because one thing you'll find is people in there. If you love doing these type of things and you d like to learn to do them better, they're lovely people because they have the same interest as you. And at worst if you would say you love cooking and you wanted to go to a cookery class, at worst, if you don't find connection there just by chance and you will you come out with more skills of the things you want to do anyway and they'll lead you to be more interesting and interested. It just grows that way and you're breaking the cycle. And these are lovely things to do. Absolutely lovely things to do. So let's put it all together. Haven't made myself clear, but I want to summarizsee a little bit, put it all together. If you begin to feel anxiety hitting you a little bit, just building up a little bit, step in straight away, break the habit because you know it'snna feed off something else or start something else. There's that inextricable link, you know, there'small tips like a text to somebody. How you doing my man? How you doing girl? Hey. And just remember loneliness can creep in again fin small steps to connect. You know, that smile, that little thank you and you can do it anywhere in any shop. But when you sit in a say I love coffee shops because there's an atmosphere as well. And it's an atmosphere if you want to do you can leave straight away oruse ah, you're alwaysnna be safe. And I'm going toa tell you this now what I haven't said this will feel awkward. It will, it will feel really awkward. And that's a given becausee things like this always feel awkward becausee we think we're going to do things unnaturally but it's actually Natural because you'll be yourself, but because, it feels a little bit awkward. That's m why we're only doing little steps. And when you start making those little steps, and as I say, you start showing your unconscious mind that you're not isolated. And you start showing your unconscious mind that you do have connections. Just in those small, small steps. You start getting those synaptic gaps firing and wiring together. And now you'll notice I haven't gotne into. Well, let's start visualizing yourself doing this and that. Because this isn't the episode for that. This is to get you into a mindset, as it were. Because I'm speaking to you and your unconscious mind, the both of every one of you, of how we can start. Yeah, there might be things going on at a deeper level. And, we will approach those. With intention, anything can be changed, Cloghie says We've got processes that will just smash them out of the way, out of the water. But I want you to know these are the things that you can start to do right now. And the thing about this is, this is like my final thought, I guess. This is all about intention. Because with intention, anything can be changed. And your unconscious mind has a positive intention to protect you. And it's doing this anxiety, loneliness thing in a way of protecting you. But you see, because it doesn't feel good, we now know that it's now no longer working. We have this blooming thing just coming together. And, because it's not working, we can change. And how do we know it's not working? Because the feelings aren't good. You know, anxiety is there to get you to do something. Loneliness is there to, in some ways to remind you of connection. But it's doing the exact opposite at the moment. So you've got this conflict going on. It's a direct conflict. And, we're just, just educating your unconscious mind that it can change. And you've got that wonderful intention to keep you this way. We just want to say, well, what you're doing for me is now no longer appropriate. It was appropriate back then, way back then. But now it's longer, no longer appropriate anymore. Let's find a better way. And to do that. How'd you find a better way? You stay curious, you ask wonderful questions. You know, how can I find connection? How can I connect with somebody? How can I go and smile at somebody? How can I build bridges? What is the smaller step I can take that will allow me to begin to feel more comfortable? And you see, when...
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FMQ 477 A Simple Way to Find Your Purpose
01/08/2025
FMQ 477 A Simple Way to Find Your Purpose
A Simple Way to Find Your Purpose Why make things so complicated when a simple way can be found. If you're struggling with this it's time to look back at times when you were in the flow and then use the essence of what you were doing in a special way. Vague again Cloughie - Yup! Because it's a podcast and you have to listen (or this would be a blog and it's not) and for once it really is a 5-minute quickie Please share your thoughts on this and the podcast to those of a similar mind and the video of this is here: Shine Brightly 🌟 Paul Hey there! I’d love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at . Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review . Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit . Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to . Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure. Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on , Castbox, , YouTube, or on our . Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨ Music Credits Music by Wataboi, DreamHeaven, ccjmusic, and others from . Personal development [self improvement] [self development] [NLP] [Hypnosis]
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#425 Anxiety - Friend Or Foe
01/04/2025
#425 Anxiety - Friend Or Foe
Anxiety - Friend Or Foe Turning Anxiety Into Your Superpower :O) Hello, my friend! Welcome back to the Personal Development Unplugged Podcast, where we strip away the fluff and get real about the things that matter most. Today, we’re tackling something we’ve all felt—anxiety. But here’s the twist: we’re not here to fight it. We’re here to flip it. Now, you might think of anxiety as this annoying, persistent foe, always getting in the way of your calm. But what if we’ve been looking at it all wrong? What if anxiety could actually be an ally—a messenger, even a bit of a guide? Stick with me, and I’ll show you how to stop running from anxiety and start working with it. Here’s the thing: anxiety’s been part of the human experience for thousands of years. Back in caveman times, it helped us stay alive. Today? It’s still trying to protect us, even if it sometimes comes off like an overzealous bodyguard who jumps at shadows. But what if you could take that energy and use it to fuel something amazing? We’ll talk about how to spot when anxiety’s being helpful versus when it’s just getting in your way. And I’ll share practical tools—simple techniques—to calm that overbearing voice and turn its energy into curiosity, focus, or even excitement. Whether it’s work stress, social nerves, or just that daily hum of unease, I’m going to help you see anxiety for what it really is: a signal. A signal from your unconscious mind that something needs attention. Once we know that, we can redirect it—turn it into a stepping stone for growth, confidence, and momentum. So let’s unplug from the chaos, tune into your true potential, and work together to transform anxiety into a superpower that helps you create the life you want. Let’s get started. Subscribe - Press play - and share https://personaldevelopmentunplugged.com/425-anxiety-friend-or-foe/ Shine Brightly 🌟 Paul Hey there! I’d love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at . Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review . Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit . Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to . Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure. Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on , Castbox, , YouTube, or on our . Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨ Music Credits Music by Wataboi, DreamHeaven, ccjmusic, and others from . And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism Hey, welcome to the Personal Development Unplug podcast. It's maybe a shortcut to making change, breaking through and living the fullest life you've ever got and ever one. I'm Paul Paul Clough and today we're diving, we, you and I, into a topic that touches us all. Yeah, I think it touches us all at some point in our life and that's anxiety. And the question is, is it a friend or is it a foe? So who knows? Well, I do, because what I want to explore is, well, what anxiety really is and why bloody exists in our life. I want to determine, see if anxiety is actually helping you. Is it helping you or is it bloody just hindering you? Or can we use it? Oh, that's a different one. And over a course of time, a little bit in this podcast episode and over many others, I'm going toa give you all the tools you need to look at anxiety and change it from a foe to a friend and manage it, deal with it and just make our life, that much difference. Is anxiety hurting us or helping us? Let's think about it So what is bloody anxiety? What is it and why does it exist? Now, you may have heard this before, but a long, long time ago, generations of generations of generations ago we were cavemen. And if you heard a rustling in a bush, you'd get anxious, you'd be aware, fight, flight or freeze. And you see that little bit of anxiety to turn on fight, flight and freeze protected you or it protected your ancestors back then. And if they didn't have it, you wouldn't be bloody listening to me now, would you? So it's there, or it was there is there to protect us against potential threats. But let's come into today, are you go going toa jump at rustling a leaf? Well, maybe late at night you would, you'd still have that suddenly, oh, what's that protect you? But generally anxiety is turned on by other things, isn't it? They're more psychological. There we could term my guess as a threat, couldn't we? You know, there's a deadline. We have to get something done by a deadline. There's social pressures, peer pressures. Life just keeps bloody buzzing all around us. The noise is intense and if we listen to a lot of that noise, it can trigger off that anxiety. And the thing is now when it happens like that, you might even think, well, that anxiety is being a bit of a bully because it's pushing and fighting us and things like that. But the thing is, I want to explain to you that it's not a body, sometimes it's being inappropriate, but it's really trying to protect you. It is not hurting you. It cannot, hurt you. It's how we choose to take that anxiety on. And once we understand this, we can change our approach. Now I know some people will be affected by anxiety, more extreme than others. And I've got ways for that too. But let's just have a little think, let's just have a little thing you, know we've got. Is anxiety hurting us or helping us? You see, it could be helpful. If you've got, say, a presentation to do and you get a little bit of anxiety. well, I've got to practice, I've got to be prepared. It's waking you up because some people procrastinate, some people just let it go. Some people just, oh, I'll leave it, I'll leave it, I've got plenty of time. And then boom, it's too late. And your unconscious mind says, I don't want to do that. I want you to succeed. I want you to be prepared. But then it might go the other way around. It might start giving you those thoughts in your mind that maybe everyone is going to look at me and they're going to be saying I shouldn't be here. That all impostor syndrome. Or maybe they're going, you know, I'm going to a really mess up and give me pictures. My unconscious mind gives me pictures of all the millions of ways that I wouldn't mess up. But if I did, I could and I would, it would be this bad. So sometimes it gets overwhelming, doesn't it? And that's where I say it's like inappropriate. That little wake up call to make sure that you've got all your ducks in a row, your dobino has already stood up ready to just tip the first one and have success come out the other end. Or where you get overwhelmed and you just can't do anything. So we have to think sometimes. Is this anxiety I m feeling helpful or is it now inappropriate? Let's get that, in mind. You know, is it pushing me forward in a nice way or is it, I don't know, holding me back? Maybe, maybe it's holding me back. And that's why we're here at Personal Development Unplugged, because I want you to be able to work with your unconscious mind. I Want you to educate your unconscious mind because if it's not working, it's just not bloody working. It worked a long time ago. Maybe when you were small it really worked, a little bit of anxiety. But you got bigger, you got bigger things to do, more intense things to do. And your unconscious mind worries for you, wants to make sure that you succeed. But unfortunately that's where the conflict comes in because too much fight, flight and freeze. All the emotions going on, all those wonderful bloody pictures you make in your mind of things how, how the worst it could ever be. Well, it s just not working anymore, is it? So what you can do is a little thing you could do because I want you to start to compartmentalize this anxiety. We're going to go into loads and loads of different ways and different or different ways that your anxiety can affect you and how we can deal with it. But just for one, name it. I love the term name it and tame it. Because if you just recognize, acknowledge what you're anxious about, it can give you a better picture. So. And you know what I'm going to say? Yeah, you could do it in your mind. You could say this in your mind I'm feeling anxious because. And then fill in the blank you could do. And as you start thinking, you might forget about the first bit or the, if you come up with one answer or one bit of intuition, it just disappears, doesn't it? All the rest disappears. Write the sucker down. write it down and say, this is what I'm anxious about today. So it could be, for example, I'm anxious about this meeting because I want to make a good impression. Now we've got the positive side of it. What is your intention, not your intention for worrying, but what's your intention for the thing that you want to do that your unconscious mind is giving you that anxiety so you could if you wanted to. How do you want your body to act when you give a presentation Well, you have already. Haven't you thought about the worst case examples that might happen? Or flip it, flip the thing, Think of the outcome that you want. How do you want it to be? How do you want to perform? What type of information do you want to share? If it's this presentation, how do you want your body to act? What is your physiology you want? How do you stand? Now I'm going to mention things like act as if. Because if you know how you want to be, what would happen if you acted that way? Well, if you acted that way, you'd actually be that way. Because it is by the way you acting as you, the way you want to be. And if you saw it in your mind's eye of yourself acting that way and then you just joined yourself, as it were. And we've talked about this in the past about getting rid of anxiety from the friend of mine who told me, just step into that picture, you see as yourself. Just step into that picture. You're seeing yourself being the way you wa. Want to be and just join it. and act as if. Because you've got the skills. I mean, if you haven't got the skills, you need to be worried, learn the bloody skills. But people wouldn't ask you to present or things like that if they didn't want you to. People would't one to meet you if they didn't want to meet you, to join with you, to connect. You have everything you need and more. You just don't know it yet until you do it. From anxiety to confidence, each podcast will focus on confidence or anxiety So what's the best case scenario? how you want it to be, how you want to feel, how you want to feel before, how you want to feel during, and how you want to feel after. Now you know that, you do know that that's what you're worrying about. You're worrying about that you won't feel that way. So, as I say, just flip the script. How do you wanna be? What do you wanna do? Focus on that feeling. See yourself having a successful completion of the thing that you're worried about. Because you'll find it'll be the thing that you were worried about. And your unconscious mind is listening to you now and it will be evaluating. Is this a safer place and a safer way to be than the old worst case scenario and scaring the shit out you. Now, for me and you and your conscious mind, it's a no brainer, isn't it? That's the one to choose, the one where I'm feeling good, I'm feeling comfortable, I'm feeling safe. And that's the prime directive of the unconscious mind, to keep your bloody safe and healthy. Anxiety is not healthy. You know, if left untapped, untapped, uncorrected, uneducated, not changed, it can just spiral out of control and we don't want that and there's no need for it. And by the way, if it has spirall out of control, get you one to one help, go deal with it now. But I'll talk to you in so many different ways, over the next weeks and months, because that's what this is all about in this podcast. From anxiety to confidence. So each episode Will either be on confidence or anxiety. But they come together, don't they? Hand in hand. So if you think about it now, I mean, even just for a moment, I know we've talked about this, or I've talked about it for so much. Just before you get this anxiety, you get these pictures in your mind. You know, your heart starts going, you know you're breathing. And the pictures in your mind just. Well, they're just not the good ones, are they? Just stop for a moment. Stop, pause, push those pitchures out of the way, move them to the side, make them smaller, further away, just for a moment. And breathe. Ah. just breathe just for a moment. And then decide. We've talked about deciding pain or pleasure. Decide on the pleasure. Decide how you want to be, understand what you're being anxious about, and then decide how you would best be in place of that. That. That, anxiety couldn't exist if you felt this way. It's a wonderful thing if it can't exist by feeling this way. This is the way to feel. See it in your mind's eye right about it. Just feel it. And, it's that feeling that really connects with your unconscious mind. And, it's that breathing allows you to just be grounded maybe. I mean, there's lovely breathing techniques if you really want a breathing technique. There's lovely square, I think, box breathing and things like that. Breathing for four, hold for four, out for four, hold for four. Just do that for a few times. Maybe you make that exhalation a, little bit longer, just a couple of counts longer. And, do that for two, three, four rounds. I'll just set you on your way. It is not the solution, but it's enough to break the pattern, interrupt the pattern of that anxiety. And once you interrupt that pattern and you start to look at the ways you want to be, think about the ways you want to be, see the ways you want to be and feel it. You're going to be that one step nearer, you see, Then you'll realize anxiety is simply purely a signal. And it's not the sentence that you thought it was. It's just a signal. And you see if. And, it doesn't matter how loud that signal is, how intense that signal is. Just doing what I've said, we'll break that pat. So listen to it, because it has. If you think about all that energy, all the energy that you use in worrying, being anxious, if you could harness that and change it to excitement. Because I'TELL you one thing, if you think of A time when you. Well, think of the time when you were anxious. Where's that feeling? It's generally in your stomach, isn't it? Generally in your stomach, somewhere in your gut. And then think of a time when you were really excited, you enjoying yourself and really excited about something. Do you know what that notice where that feeling is? It's not that different, is it? Not that too different a place. So what would happen if you flip it? Just move that feeling as you breathe into that place of excitement and curiosity and then you get. Be excited about thinking of how you want to be, get curious of how you could be the way you want to be. What would it feel like? What would you see? What would you say? How would you breathe? What would your physiology be like? And I'm repeating myself, but repetition is a mother of skill. And the thing is, sometimes the first bit didn't go in, the second bit didn't go in and all of a sudden, oh, I get it now. So that's what I'm doing. I'm just repeating myself just to make sure that I understand what I'm talking about or anything. Please do share this episode. It makes more people aware of this podcast So there you go, anxiety. It could be your friend. Well, it is your friend in a way that it's communication from your best friend, your unconscious mind. So just be aware, have some understanding, have some acknowledgement of your best friend trying to do things and then you can take the appropriate action to redirect your best friend into how you want to be works. It really does work. And you know that if you need some help, there's loads of hypnosis tracks I've got here for you. They're completely complimentary, they're downloadable. If you go to poolclfonline.com podcast you can get them there. 60, 65, nearly 70. And they're all downloadable. So you can find the one that really just maybe helps. This is s a great one. I have to say this now there's a great one. I'm going to rere record it, I know I am. And it's the second episode and it's just called being comfortable, but it just takes away panic and it educates your unconscious mind how you can be different. And if you want, just as another thing you could just briefly do is just sometimes think of different times in your life where you've dealt with similar things easily and effortlessly. Get your countere examples because your unconscious mind was with you then because you see, I say that again. I lifted. I used to have a lisp when I was younger, by the way. We'll get this out. Notice that your anxiety is a friend. It's being created by your best friend. And once you're aware of it, you can do whatever you want because you can. You've got that signal and you can use the power to respond differently. I really hope you like this episode and I would if you have and you know of anybody else who would like to share this experience of knowing that anxiety is not a prison sentence, it's not a foe, it's something that we just need to adapt into a better way. Please do share this episode. If you would. Please share to as many people as you can. Because you know what? Secretly behind the surface, anxiety touches us all, doesnn't it? So if you would do that and then just click on that subscribe, I'll say that one clearly. Click on that subscribe button if you would, because that makes so much difference. You won't believe how much difference it makes. You subscribe. It just gets. It makes more people aware of this podcast. So there you go. Give me feedback. I'd love your feedback because although I'm going to gou, I'm going to do a load more episodes, on anxiety and confidence. If there's areas of anxiety or areas of unconfidence that you'd like me to dive into to, you can direct me, guide me to the things that would help you. Just email me [email protected]. do that. I'll respond. It's totally anonymous. I'm the only bugger here anyway. But you know, if we can guide, if you can guide me to the processes that you want or if there's any feedback you can give me, I would love it. Let's unplug from the noise and plug into your potential So until next time, my friend, let's unplug from the noise and plug into your potential. Did you like that? Hey, it's time to fly. Warning. You are now leaving the unplugged mind of Paul Clough. It's time to fly on your own. Be brave, my friend. Personal development unplugged. Personal development [self improvement] [self development] [NLP] [Hypnosis]
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FMQ 476 Being Fulfilled By Being At Peace With NOT Doing
01/01/2025
FMQ 476 Being Fulfilled By Being At Peace With NOT Doing
Being Fulfilled By Being At Peace With NOT Doing In order to do the things we want we have to forego some things we want also. And unless we realize this consciously we get conflicted but not knowing why. The we get saddened on not achieving those things and that affects all the thing we want to achieve. Like so many things in our lives a vicious cycle appears and frustration and any number of emotions arise. And it's because of one little thing We have to be OK on, be at peace with, when choosing to do one thing, others things won't get done. When we acknowledge this consciously - BOOM! we're on our way with no regrets. Come with me and let's muse on this important little subject, especially at this time of year and all will become clear :O) Please share to be kind: And there's a video as always here: Shine Brightly 🌟 Paul Hey there! I’d love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at . Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review . Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit . Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to . Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure. Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on , Castbox, , YouTube, or on our . Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨ Music Credits Music by Wataboi, DreamHeaven, ccjmusic, and others from . Personal development [self improvement] [self development] [NLP] [Hypnosis]
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#424 Pain or Pleasure - You Decide
12/28/2024
#424 Pain or Pleasure - You Decide
Pain or Pleasure - You Decide I'd Choose Pleasure Over Pain any day :O) Let’s start with a question: why does your mind so often seem to focus on pain? Those nagging worries, that endless loop of “what ifs”—sound familiar? It’s like your unconscious mind has one job: to keep you safe. But sometimes, it gets a bit too cautious and pulls you into a cycle of discomfort or fear. In this unplugged episode, we explore how to break free from that pattern. What if, instead of pain, you could choose pleasure? Yes, really. By shifting your focus, getting curious, and asking the right questions, you can guide your mind to a place of joy, safety, and comfort—and it’s simpler than you think. Here’s what we’ll uncover together: Understanding Pain’s Purpose: Why your mind brings up pain and how to address it without getting stuck there. Moving Toward Pleasure: Spot those moments of joy and learn how to stretch them out into something truly fulfilling. Curiosity as a State-Changer: Flip the script on pain by using curiosity to shift your perspective and emotional state. The Power of Questions: Discover how the questions you ask yourself can change everything. Working with Your Unconscious Mind: Build a partnership with your inner mind to find solutions that feel good and keep you safe. Pain might be your mind’s default setting, but you don’t have to stay there. You can choose to move toward pleasure—little by little, moment by moment—and transform how you experience life. So, are you ready to ditch the pain and wallow in pleasure for a change? It’s easier than you think, and trust me, it’s so worth it. Enjoy the episode, and if it hits home, please share it with someone who could use a little more pleasure in their life too! Shine Brightly 🌟 Paul Hey there! I’d love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at . Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review . Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit . Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to . Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure. Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on , Castbox, , YouTube, or on our . Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨ Music Credits Music by Wataboi, DreamHeaven, ccjmusic, and others from . And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism Paul Clough says you have the choice to feel pain or pleasure So you have the choice to either feel pain or pleasure. Really? Yeah, you have the choice, you can decide but you have to put effort into it sometimes. Which is a bit of a blow, I know, but hey, to feel more pleasure in your life, wouldn't that be wonderful? Have a listen. This is Personal Development Unplugged, with Paul Clough. In simplicity there is genius. In simplicity there is genius. Pleasure is like feeling safe, right? When you're enjoying it Got a question for you. Have you ever. Will not. Have you ever. Have you noticed you very rarely notice when you're having a good time, in the good time and you ‘re enjoying life, just enjoying it. you may be with friends or you're just doing something which just makes you feel so good. The pictures make in your mind are just natural. You can hear things and you see things and everything is just rosy. The thing is, because you're in the moment m you don't really comment to yourself or this is a really good time. It's like a comment after the event, isn't it? Because when you're just enjoying, you're just enjoying. When you're in pleasure, as it were, you're just enjoying the pleasure. You're not commenting to yourself how pleasurable it is, you're just in it. But then pain, you seem to recognise that straight away, don't we, when we're in pain. And when we're in pain, emotional pain, I guess we notice it, we think about it continuously. We make up bonky bloody questions and we get to those later. But the thing is we make those pictures in our head. We see disaster, we relive it, it's a loop. And the feelings are there and we know and we recognize pain in the moment. We know it's there. It's also like feeling safe. I think not that pleasure, is like feeling safe. No one really notices. I think when they are safe in the world you think of do you know what? I'm doing this thing and this is really safe. I'm safe. Your unconscious mind has kept you safe. It's using all its skills, all your skills, all the resources, positive beliefs, wonderful behaviours, superb emotions and creating a wonderful experience for you caus you're safe. But it doesn't have to be, you know, totally pleasurable. You could be just sitting down reading, but when you're just sitting down reading or having a couple of coffee, you don't think to yourself, you know what? This is a safe place to be to you because you just are, you're in the moment just like that pleasure. But that's the Opposite bit like that pain. When you don't feel safe, boom. You bloody know, don't you? You get that anxiety, you've got fear, you've got, I don't know, the shakes you've got again the pictures in your mind, the worst that could happen. It's a loop. And sometimes that loop goes on for a long time. It goes in and out sometimes because something distracts you. But boom, as soon as you're again by yourself may be or you suddenly think of what you might have to do and then that ah, feeling of anxiety, fear. And you don't feel safe in the world, do you? Again because it's in the present, in the moment. But it's in the moment in a different way. Because it's a negative feeling. It's a negative feeling. And those negative feelings are there for a reason, aren't they? Let's have a little look at the. Why. Why is this happening? Why is that? If that's a sentence. When you're enjoying being you, you're safe, aren't you? And your unconscious mind doesn't have to worry you're not going toa be, be eaten by a saber toothed tiger. Even that was, you know, you haven't got to hunt for food and suddenly get killed. Those days are gone. You can go to this corner shop, you can go to the supermarket, you can go anywhere, take away it's there. You can just enjoy having pleasure and you can be safe in this little old world of ours. And that's a choice by the way. Your unconscious mind can make you feel unsafe by making you curious We're going to talk about choices because you effectively have chosen to feel this good, to do the things that make you feel good, make you feel safe. And safety is obviously it stretches. I guess some people can feel safe doing things where you wouldn't feel safe, but for them it's safety. But the thing is sometimes, sometimes to keep you safe you need maybe a little bit of uncertainty. Like that saber toothed tiger isn't there. But something might come and upset this pleasure. Not quite certain. And to make sure that you are aware of what you can do or might need to do to access the resources to fight flight fear, you fight flight and freeze cluy. Come and get it together. Your unconscious mind can begin to make you feel a little unsafe because when you do that you're a little bit scared. Your unconscious mind scares you to be aware. You see there's a positive intention for all of this. For you to be aware, to keep on your guard. But then sometimes we get to that thing where we start picturing in our mind, I guess, the very worst that could happen. We see it clearly, sometimes even too clearly, more vivid than it should be. It's normally bigger. The pictures in your mind get bigger and bigger to make you aware of what could happen. Smells and the taste. Every sense is buzzing and you get that feeling. And then we ask that bonky question until we get to there. What's the worst that can happen? How bad could it be? Why me? Why is this always those questions, why me? Your unconscious mind goes, well, if that's a question you want to ask, I'll find you in answer. And it goes through all your past and finds random, out of context memories to say, look, there we are, that's why. And it sort of puts them together and you go, yeah, so what's the worst that could happen? And then you start to imagine bigger, brighter, more intense pictures in your mind. That gives you more intense feelings. All as a sense of protection. Does it feel safe? Of course it doesn't. You see, we know physical pain is a warning. It's a warning not to do something to give you protection, to heal. We know that. You know, be wary, this bruise is pain. Therefore don't keep, keep touching it, don't knock it, keep it safe. And this emotional pain is to remind you of the stuff you haven't, dealt with. You know, that sadness, anxiety, guilt, grief. You fill in the blank. And we've talked about this on, the previous podcast, pain and Pleasure. You see, that's great. If you didn't feel so bad. Your unconscious mind protecting you, protecting you in a way to keep you safe by making you feel the most unsafe right now, to make you feel so aware that you can freeze, so aware that you're overwhelmed, have those feelings so intense that you don't know what to do. And that's where the conflict comes in. It's a direct conflict. Your unconscious mind trying to keep you safe by making you feel unsafe. So what we have to do is choose. Yeah, you get to chooses. Told you. You choose pleasure, but you also choose the way you can feel unsafe or choose the way that you can be safe. How do you do that? Well, you choose with your unconscious mind. And one way to do that is to get curious. Because if you're in that state of feeling unsafe, feeling anxiety, feeling panic, feeling fear, then if you're in that state, you're not going to solve the problem because you're in the problem. You can't solve the problem from being inside the problem, you need to get outside the problem. So to get out of that issue, that problem, that feeling change states, how do you do that? Get curious. It's not a big jump. You see, curiosity is not a big jump. I'm not asking you to feel super strong, super confident. It's too big a jump. But if you could just be curious. And what does curious do? Gets you to see things differently, doesn't it? Because you're interested. I'm curious to find out. And you'll see things differently. And when you look at things differently, the things you look at are, different. And when you do that, you feel different because you're exploring. And that's all we're gonna do. And that curiosity will bring a question like, what if? Ask your unconscious mind what would be a better way to make amends So if we give a little bit of thanks before we get into this. So we're curious, but before I'm just thankful for my unconscious mind. You're doing the best you can, but it's not working. I have a little chat with our unconscious mind. Thank you for doing what you're doing, trying to keep me safe. But what you're doing is not working because I don't feel safe at all. In fact, I'm bricking myself. So when you're curious, you'd ask questions like, what if. What if there was a better way, maybe a better way to feel a little bit more confident in myself? Competence. Remember my competence, my skills, I've got. What if there's a better way to feel comfortable? You see, when you're feeling comfortable, that would be if you're suffering from anxiety, what would be a better way to make amends? That would be a lovely question for guilt, wouldn't it? Sometimes you can stress so much that you need to make amends, but that person's gone. But you can make amends by remembering not to do again. What can I learn from what I did so I can make amends? By making a difference in the world. I've learned from that event, and now I'm stronger and better for it. What if there's a better way to remember? Maybe remember. People remember things in a good way, in a way that feels thankful. It's grief, isn't it? What a better way to feel grief than feeling sad. And sad doesn't really express grief, does it? But you know what I mean. But what if you could just remember, Remember the positive things, remember the good things about someone who'maybe past. Isn't that a better way to grieve, to feel comfortable in the way you Remember people, that's the way they would like you you to remember them, wouldn't they? Now you fill in the blank. If there's something else, just think of the question, wouldn't there be a better way to. Because it's really just the way you want to feel. Because if you're feeling a little bit more comfortable or a little way, a little better about making amends, learning a better way to remember, you're asking really positive questions. Now, what I say to people isage of my clients is when you're asking these type of questions, listen with all your senses, because you might think you know the answers, but just listen, be unedited. Do not edit the answers because it might be a little memory comes to mind. Could be a word I say on tip of your tongue or a feeling, and you have to then get more curious, well, what does it mean? What are you trying to tell me? But write it down. You know, I always go on about writing things down you write down just what comes to mind. You know, if you really want to get to it, just go back to when you used to feel a little, a little bit anxious, when you used to feel a little bit of guilt or maybe a little bit of grief, or you fill in the blank and just feel it because you're feeling it anyway. So we're not actually going back into the trauma, but I just want you to feel it a little bit to tell your unconscious mind, this is what I'm working on. What would be a better way to keep me safe from X, Y, Z? And if you come up with an answer, maybe consciously you think, well, do you know what? I'd really like to feel this. I'd like to feel more comfortable. Because when I feeling comfortable, I can deal with things that, are causing me stress or anxiety and actually say to your unconscious one, wouldn't this be a better way to keep me safe? And you know it bloody is. So you're coming up with some solutions all by being curious. What do you think consciously would be a better way to deal with this? As opposed to worrying or being sad or feeling guilty or you fill in the blank. You know what it is. Just think about it. What might be a better way? What could you learn? Maybe what can to learn from this? And ask your unconscious mind, what can you learn from the paths that will allow this to disappear, the learning of which would always be with me, consciously and unconsciously. Now you might be thinking, this is too simple. Yeah, it is simple. Not too simple. It is simple. It takes work. It takes effort, but it's so effective and it's certainly so much better than staying in those negative emotions. You know what positive belief would support me to get through this, to learn. And it would d be things like I'm okay, I've got this, I'm strong enough, I can do this. So that's what I think. Obviously you've got that one to one therapy. If you haven't, if things are getting too much and your anxiety, your fear, your guilt and all that stuff, it's just too much to handle with these questions. But even just thinking about them will help ease, will help ease the pain. And you can then you're choosing, you're choosing to look for a better way. And when you choose to look for a better way, guess what happens? You find a better way. It's like that process. If you're thinking about how bad it could be, what happens is your unconscious mind goes away and finds all the answers to you whether they're right or wrong. It finds answers that sort of fits, fits a hole. The round peg in a square hole sort of fits. You bag it hard enough. But if you're asking questions how you could be different, your unconscious mind will go and find a way to be different. If you look for, ask for a better way, it will go, okay, let's find a better way. What we've got to say Heln this isn't what you're doing for me is great, but it's not. Well it's great that you're doing it for me, but it's not working anymore because I feel the pain and I choose not to feel the pain anymore. And to do that I want to find a better way. What is a better way? And I know I keep banging it on now, but it is so simple and in simplicity we know there is genius. And you'll find a way. But if you don't, you're going to eat Ma am I I say that a bit more clearly. Cly come on. And if you don't and you will by the way but if there's something you need is a little bit extra, you can email me [email protected] do say at the end of every episode I'm always at the end of an email. It be fun to just find new ways to create a better life for everyone. It is fun. And I can become curious and maybe look at my own past and find ways that maybe I have solved those problems or I can then go and think, well, how would I solve them? What would be a better way? Cause sometimes when you're looking, as I say looking in, you see the world differently. And that's where I want you to come. I want you to come out of the pain. Choose to come out of the pain and ask better questions. And by the way, when you're in pleasure, by the way, sometimes just stop for a second and go, do you know what? This is brilliant. Paul Clough: Choose to wallow in pleasure consciously and unconsciously I wonder how I could use these feelings in the future. And have fun, have pleasure, because I choose to have more pleasure in my life. In fact, choose to have more pleasure than you can stand. Choose to wallow in pleasure. Because these are all choices consciously, and unconsciously. But guide with your conscious mind. Your conscious mind is a goal setter. And we often think of goal sett as being goals, as in things that you're striving to do. These are goals that you're striving to feel, to be. And your unconscious mind is the goal getter. So ask good questions. Would it be like to feel that joy that I felt yesterday, today, again? But even better, what would it be like to feel safe and feel comfortable? Because I like feeling comfortable. Because if I'm comfortable, I'm bloody safe. I know that. And when I'm feeling comfortable, I can access all the emotions I ever want. I can just let go and enjoy. So you can ask a question when you wake up in the morning when you've got this thing to do. What would be like to feel so comfortable in when I do X yz and then let it go? Because your unconscious mind will then go and find the answers for you and you'll feel comfortable. It works, by the way. It just works. Hope you enjoyed that. Don't think it's the longest episode, but doesn't matter, does it? I'm sure there's a few golden nuggets there that you can say pick up and run with. So have more pleasure than you can stand and ask wonderful questions by being curious. Enjoy and fly. Warning, you are now leaving the unplugged mind of Paul Clough. It's time to fly on your own. Be brave, my friend. Personal development unplugged. Personal development [self improvement] [self development] [NLP] [Hypnosis]
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Fun For Christmas From Mummsey and Me
12/24/2024
Fun For Christmas From Mummsey and Me
Happy Christmas and a Happy New Year!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Paul
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#423 Healing Emotional Scars
12/21/2024
#423 Healing Emotional Scars
Healing Emotional Scars Because you can Have you ever found yourself stuck in the echoes of past pain, wondering if you’re truly healing or just coping? In this episode, I’ll unpack the difference between carrying emotional scars and genuinely healing from them. Together, we’ll explore how our unconscious mind—the part of us that’s always working in the background—signals the need for healing and how we can respond. Think of emotional scars like physical ones: they’re reminders of what we’ve been through, but they don’t have to define us. I’ll share personal stories and practical steps I’ve used to move from pain toward genuine healing. You’ll discover how to tell if your emotional wounds are still raw and how to guide yourself through the healing process. Whether it’s through self-reflection, creative self-therapy, or reaching out for professional support, you’ll learn ways to support your journey back to emotional wholeness. This isn’t just for therapists—it’s for anyone ready to face their past and take steps toward a brighter future. Let’s tap into the wisdom of your unconscious mind, learn to listen to its messages, and use them to build a life of growth, self-compassion, and empowerment. So, take a moment, tune in, and let’s explore this path together. Because healing isn’t just possible—it’s inevitable when we take the first step. Please enjoy and share: Shine brightly, Paul Shine Brightly 🌟 Paul Hey there! I’d love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at . Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review . Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit . Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to . Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure. Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on , Castbox, , YouTube, or on our . Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨ Music Credits Music by Wataboi, DreamHeaven, ccjmusic, and others from . And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism Spot the difference and how to heal emotional scars in this podcast Healing emotional scars. What's all this about? Well, I start off with spot the difference and then I'll tell you stuff about healing physically, which is weird. And then we spot the difference and why the difference and how to get help and how to heal emotional scars. Okay, have a listen if that interests you. I'm sure it will See if you can spot the difference between these two statements welcome back to the longer podcast. And this one, well, I want you to spot the difference. See if you can spot what is the difference between these two statements. You know, when I think of that time, it was that shit time, it was black and it did, hurt. Do you know what? I was a mess then. I Want to tell you what that is shortly. Think of this one, see if you can spot the difference. Every time I think of that time, do you know what? It still hurts. Maybe not as much, but I still get those negative feelings. I still see those things and it's like I'm still living some of it again. Did you spot it? Did you spot it? Gonna come back to the difference in a minute because I want. Well, here's the thing, you see, let's get into the biological state. What are you talking about, Cloughie? Look, if you cut yourself, even maybe only a scratch, you don't even think about it, do you? You don't give it a second thought. You might give it a little rub and go, ow, that hurt. But in your mind, you know you're going to heal. So a scratch might stick a little plaster on it. But I do know it's gonna heal. You don't have a second thought. You don't actually think, I guess I'm gonna heal. Cause you just know it. You've got that understanding that you know your body's gonna heal itself. And if it's a deeper cut now, you may have needed help, maybe there was some medication, maybe there's some stitches, maybe even an operation. And those deeper cuts, they tend to leave a scar, don't they? A little physical scar. That to me that scar is a reminder. Reminder how serious. I say that again, A reminder how serious it was. You see, both of those times, your unconscious mind is what I believe anyway, got into its healing mode and healed you. Some people might say, well, it's just a body doing it. But I think your unconscious mind is there to serve you, to Keep you safe and keep you healthy. And it just heals you. So whether it's just a little scratch, whether it sometimes needs a little bit of help, but it still heals, but leaves that little, little scar. But then on the other hand, before the scar happens and maybe before the full healing has taken place, you get a little scab, don't you? And to me, that scab tells you to be gentle, to be careful. Healing is in process. And, you can help because it tells you and it's sometimes a little bit sore, a little bit painful. Tells you to help yourself by being aware, to protect yourself. Don't do nothing silly. Just be careful and, look after yourself while you're healing. That's what I think. So going back to those two statements, did you spot the difference? See, both of them were me. Both of them were me. See, the second one was I'm still feeling it. That was during the middle of ituse. As I think about it then it still hurts. Maybe not as much, but I can still feel it. I can still feel it in my gut. Sometimes I think I'm living it again. And you see, to me that's like the scab. Cause I'm not in that issue anymore. I've got out of it. And we do, by the way, we always get out of those issues. Think back of, the times when you thought, well, darkest at that time, my darkest time, I didn't think I was gonna get out of it, but here I am years later. But that was a scab saying, you're still feeling pain, but this time it's emotional pain. And you're feeling emotional pain from those past events. But it is an event in the past. It's not happening now, but you're still feeling a little bit of it as if it's in the present. Which means healing is still required. Healing is maybe still going on. And at that time, when it was like that, that healing came in the form of me asking questions. And one of the questions was, instead of, why is it always happening to me? How deep can I go? How horrible it feels? Because that was when I was in the bloody thing. And when I got out of that part, I asked my question, well, what the bloody hell can I do to get out of this? What can I do? And something inside me said, you're, bloody therapist Cloughie. Be your own therapist. And I did. I did loads of stuff. And I also narrated my path and narrated. I just recorded what I did. What best advice would I give myself? I initially Narrated it as being my therapist or being a therapist to my best mate. And I got it printed out. It's in the book. And I showed it to this writer who was a client of mine, said, I know I shouldn't do this, but would you just have a little look at it? And they did. They're so kind. And they came back and said, it's so bloody obvious it's you. Why didn't you be brave? Be brave and write it as you? And I did. It took me hours taking, the you to me and all that stuff to make it into to me. But I did, and it felt so good. And I created processes that help other people. Now some of those processes I actually took into trainings to help loads of people. Paul says negative emotions are signals from unconscious mind that you need help So there was good to come out of that. But it was things that I knew that worked then because I'd tried them on myself bit by bit. But I'm a therapist. I've done a lot of trainings. And, that's what I did. I know you might be saying, yeah, Paul, but I'm not a therapist. I'll get to that. I will get to that, I promise you. But that was because I was in it. It was still the scab. I was still roar. And I had to be gentle. I had to be careful. Not careful, but just careful. Be kind careful. I think not expecting too much, but not expecting too little either. But. But let's go back to the first. You know, when I think of that time, that was a shit time. It was black. It did hur. You know, was m. I was a real, real mess. I was a real mess. You know, I used to cry suddenly. Just break down, fall on the floor and cry. That's how bad I was. You sp. The difference there, you see this one was. That was me now, by the way. That is me now. Because it was horrible then. It doesn't affect me anymore because it's in the past. I've dealt with it. I've learned from it. I've learned what I needed to learn. So those emotions, are no longer needed to remind me that I still need to do work. And that's what I think these negative emotions are there. They're really a signal from your unconscious mind saying, I'm waving a flag at you. Do some work. We've still got work to do. Still got toa. Let go. Some maybe limiting beliefs. Let's do some work, find help. It's like a cry for help, I guess, from the inside, saying, you know, you're still there. You're still in it. But this wasn't, this was. It's okay, it's gone. Because it was then back then in the past. And that's what I listen to. when my clients, when I do work with them, they come in and they go o, I feel so bad, Paul. I'm feeling this anxiety and it gives me this type of feeling. I get this pain in my stomach, I can't think. It's right in the present moment they're talking of their problem in the present moment they're in it. And then we do some work and I'm going get that feeling back again. This is at the end by the way. Get that old feeling back again. You run what you said in your stomach, in your gut. And they all said, well, can't at the moment, it's gone. Said you got it pretty easily an hour ago yeah. it's gone now. So we'll just tell, talk about they. Yeah, because I remember it used to be so bad back then. We'd gone back to the past tense. They've moved on still maybe a scar just to remind them. You see that scar to some extent going back to the natural healing is you talking in the past tense to say that's how bad it was. You've learn, you've moved on. Let's see how strong you are now. And if it happens again, something like that, you know you can deal with it because you've got that little scar to remind you. But it's in the past. That scar is saying it was a deep cut back then, but not now. Cloughie suggests you talk about negative times in your past So what I'm going to ask you to do or what I'm suggesting, you just notice how you talk about the negative times in your past and it's not just talk out loud, it's how you think. How do you think about those times in the past? Because when you think about do you go back into them and feel it again? Or when you talk to your friends, you're talking in the present tense as if it's still there. Maybe not as much, but it's still there. can you still feel that feeling? Because I'd know the feeling that I had back then if I was feeling it now. Swore I would really feel it. Even a tinge of it would not be good. But it doesn't affect me anyore at all now. So I'm really grateful for my unconscious mind guiding me to be my own therapists and the stuff I'd learned and what I've done. But I know you're not a therapist, but you might be. You might be. And if you are, well, you might ask inside is that that the thing to do? But if you can really still feel them, feel those negative emotions, if you're living your life with that limiting belief, your unconscious mind is waving that flag. You haven't healed yet. So get some help. Now where would I go to get some help? I went to a therapist to nearly swore again. A really, really good one me. But I'm not asking you to come to me. You could, but you could ask. But the thing is find help. 1, 2, 1 help that is you with a therapist. A therapist who I would suggest would be a master hypnotist. Bloody good hypnotist. But with the skills of a master practitioner ###lp and the skills of a master practitioner of timeline therapy. They could just be practitioners by the way because practitioners are really good master practition just taking it to another level. They're most probably more professional I say more professional in the muches they do it as a profession therefore they're doing it all the time and they're honing their skills. But I did a lot of work when I was a practitioner and I did a lot of good work when I was a practitioner. Master practitioner just did the to down the edges as it were but I was going on for other things. So one to one and you know some way back, some way back I don't know how far this years back I did an episode which says what I think it's lot what to look for in a therapist. So you could google that or look down my if you go on the website personal development unplugged um.com do I think there's a search button there and you can look for that. It's always good. Might do it again sometime or you might think well it's not that bad Cloughie. It's not that bad that it is. I'm still really feeling it as if it is in the present but I'm sort of feeling it. Well you could maybe go on to some some programs. I've got a great program which I say it's great. It's just me saying supreme iner confidence and that's really a bigg up the name. But it's all about taking away the anxiety and coming back to inner confidence. It's really supreme inner confidence. Confidence in yourself. That's a lovely program. And you got discount if you sign up to the hypnosis programs which tells me You've also got hypnosis programs. I've got 6yd and, they're all complimentary. They're free. My son, Joseph Clough, has hundreds, thousands, probably most of those can be sought out free of at a very small price. So you could just go down and choose them and pick the one that you feel most comfortable with, the one that goes. Do you know what? That resonates with me. But set your intention first. Before you listen to any of those programs. Before you listen to any of the hypnosis programs, set your intention. I'm gonna get rid of this. That's my intention. I am gonna get rid of these feelings. I'm gonna learn what I need to learn and move on. And then you press play. Or there's another alternative. You can email me [email protected]. email me. Give me a little bit of the problem. How you feel now and how you want to feel. That's all I want. I don't want the ifs and butts and everything around it. So I'm not a counselr. I just want to know how you're doing, what you're doing now, the negative side. So I feel this. I think this affects me in this way. And then, well, how do inna be? And I wa want to be this, this and this. And I'll come up with a process, or I'll guide you to a hypnosis track, or I'll guide you to a program, or I'll probably do all of those and produce an episode just for you. But it won't be just for you. Cause it'll be for me and it'll be for everyone elseus. We'll all get something from them. So'so many different ways you can find help. But first of all, I think you need to recognize how you're thinking, how you're talking about negative times in the past. Is it a scar or is it a scab that still needs help and healing? So think, about that. Just a thought. Well, it's a big thought, I guess. And you see, the simple thing to remember is it's your unconscious mind telling you there's still just a little bit more to do. And, isn't that kind? Isn't that kind? All you have to do is then listen. You're getting those feelings. And you listen, ask questions. How can I help myself? How can I help you? What do I need to do? How can I change this? So there you go. There's a pause. J: Sharing is good. Can only do you good. I know every episode doesn't always resonate Thereuse I was thinking a minute because what I didn't realise see I might make a few notes. Not a script, but there's a few can tell it's not a script. I tell it and. But I didn't realize when I was talking about this or writing them few notes that this is all about me. It's all about me and how far I'd come. And I guess this is my unconscious mind, my best friend letting me know how far I'd come, how far we'd come and how far we'll let it go. Isn't that kind? And in my nose I just said thank you. And a little smiley face with a kiss because that's what I do with my aunt. Go just mind smiley face with a kiss. And it's your conscience. I say that again because I don't know what happened. Then it's your unconscious mind, your best friend telling you, guiding you, supporting you forever. So do listen, please just listen. If there's things going on, just listen to whatever you get. Sometimes it'll be a memory, sometimes it will be a word on the tip of your tongue. It's not always a conversation. Could be when you're writing in your journal. If you don't journal, suggest having a little go. Maybe we'll talk about that another session, another, another episode. But one of the things I found out about doing this even though I haven't told you what happened, the way it felt and the way it feels now, it doesn't feel now for me makes me understand that sharing is good. Sharing is good. Just to know that we all move on, we can all do this together. So things are good to know. And if you know things that are good, share them. If they aren't taken on board by the people, doesn't matter. It'll go in sometime, always does. I know every episode is a work of art. No I don't. I know every episode doesn't always resonate, not with everyone. But I do know a little bit of RePet say blind mate my words. Repetition is not only the mother of skill but also goes in when you're ready. You suddenly notice those golden nuggets and you pick them up and run with them. Not run off with them, but run with them. As so in that tenuous sort of link. It'be good to share this too. I think if you just share the episode because people don't tell you when they're hurting, they can show you sometimes in their call it non verbal communication, their body language. I don't think it's a body language, but it's a. They're communicating with you. So it's the language of a kind. You know, if they're a little bit distant, maybe they're not their old selves or the old self that you remember, or you see a difference between one and the other. May just want to point out, hey, this might be interesting. It might be. It's only half an hour. Can only do you good. J, if you would. I think it would be kind to share. And I say if you want to email me about anything, please do. I'll come up with something for you. Always have, always will. It's what I'm good at, I think. So please, please get my old grey matter moving for me. It's good for me, too. Okay. Have fun. And if you do trip over that subscribe button, pick it up and give you a price, will you? Paul Clough: It's time to fly on your own All right, my friend, have more fun than you can stand and let's move on, creating the life that we both deserve. Time to fly. Bye now. Warning. You are now leaving the unplugged mind of Paul Clough. It's time to fly on your own. Be brave, my friend. Personal development unplugged. Personal development [self...
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The Audio of the Video within the December Newsletter
12/20/2024
The Audio of the Video within the December Newsletter
The Audio of the Video within the December Newsletter Sign up to the free, complimentary, 65+ hypnosis tracks and you too could receive the regular monthly'ish newsletter from me. There's usually a little video with a quick process or share. "How an I rush there Cloughie and sign up?" you ask Click this link If you want to watch the video Shine Brightly 🌟 Paul Hey there! I’d love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at . Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review . Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit . Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to . Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure. Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on , Castbox, , YouTube, or on our . Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨ Music Credits Music by Wataboi, DreamHeaven, ccjmusic, and others from . Personal development [self improvement] [self development] [NLP] [Hypnosis]
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FMQ475 But I Can't Visualize
12/18/2024
FMQ475 But I Can't Visualize
But I Can't Visualize But you will There's a great misconception that visualization is always in 20/20 vision and that's so wrong! In this 5-minute quickie episode I explain what's going on and what visualization really is and isn't. and How to improve what you see when you close your eyes You do it unconsciously, without thinking so let's bring that into your conscious awareness. Please share what your hear (and see) and the YouTube video link is here Shine Brightly 🌟 Paul Hey there! I’d love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at . Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review . Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit . Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to . Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure. Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on , Castbox, , YouTube, or on our . Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨ Music Credits Music by Wataboi, DreamHeaven, ccjmusic, and others from . Personal development [self improvement] [self development] [NLP] [Hypnosis]
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#422 A Simple Process To Ovecome Fear and Anxiety
12/14/2024
#422 A Simple Process To Ovecome Fear and Anxiety
From Anxiety to Confidence Let’s Make the Shift Together Let’s get real for a minute. Have you ever felt that knot in your stomach at the thought of speaking up in front of a group—even if it’s just a handful of people? You’re not alone. I’ve been there too. I’ve felt that dread, the sweaty palms, the shaky voice. But here’s the good news: it doesn’t have to stay that way. In this episode, I’m going to share my own story—how I went from terrified to totally at ease, speaking to not just a few people but hundreds. And I’ll let you in on a little secret: it didn’t take a complicated process or years of effort. It was a simple, powerful shift. What We’ll Dive Into: The magic of visualization—how imagining your success as if it’s already happening can calm your fear and build real confidence. Fueling confidence with your passion and curiosity—because when you care about what you’re saying, everything changes. Why simplicity is the ultimate tool—you don’t need tricks or hype, just a new way to see yourself. Here’s Your Challenge: There's a process in this episode too You will take a moment—just a few minutes. Close your eyes and picture yourself succeeding. Imagine standing there, calm, collected, and confident. Feel it. Step into that version of you and notice how good it feels. Practice it. Let it sink in. If you know someone who needs a little nudge to find their confidence—share this episode. You never know who might need to hear it. Let’s keep shining brightly, Paul Shine Brightly 🌟 Paul Hey there! I’d love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at . Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review . Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit . Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to . Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure. Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on , Castbox, , YouTube, or on our . Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨ Music Credits Music by Wataboi, DreamHeaven, ccjmusic, and others from . And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism So how did I change from being terrified about speaking to more than two or three people to be anxious to be uncomfortable having my stomach chant, my mind racing, being so so scared anxious to being able to talk in front of more than a hundred hundred of people. A hundred of people and enjoying the process. Speaking metaphors for telling metaphors and doing processes demonstration with people. How did I get from that to that? And guess what? It's really easy and it's simple. Come with me. So we call this personal development unplug podcast from anxiety to confidence. And I thought I'd just give you a little taste of how I used to be and how there's a simple way I was taught to master anxiety and fear and it's mastering it in a way that you let it go. It's no longer needed. You see in the early days of my NLP trainings and I spelled days with a zed because it was Daisy. I was in the days neuro linguistic programming learning wonderful sets of skills and processes to help other people make changes and changes in myself. And the thing is I used to hate giving small talks in those trainings there may be only two or three people there and I had to explain something and I hated the bloody thing asking questions because it was quite a big group, There was about 30 odd people in that particular class and stick your hand up and ask a question because you didn't understand something. I hated it. I was in fact I was pretty terrified. My heart used to be thinking what the hell am I doing here? I'm not meant to be here. What was I thinking about? Because this is frightening and it shouldn't be frightening. I'm trying to learn something and yet I'm frightened. And I'd slink my way to the back and it was pretty easy when there 30 od people you can slink your way to the back. And I'd get smaller and smaller and smaller, slide down into my chair and I would ask myself how could I learn this stuff when I'm so anxious? And it's a sort or positive question isn't it? Because my stomach was churning, my mind was racing, I was hot, I was uncomfortable. It was a nightmare. It was and I say was was a nightmare back then. It was really a nightmare. I'll tell you in a minute how that changed. But the thing is that was way back then, since then, since Then I have amazed myself when I look back now. You see, I started to help people, but then I got into training, training other people, training people to become therapists, training people to become, practitioners and master practitioners of NLP. With my son Joseph, we did NLP trainings, hypnosis, trainees, teaching people to be master hyp, hypnotists, all this stuff. And I was standing in front of maybe 20 people. And then it developed even more because since then I've sat on the end of a stage and I used to hate bloody stages. If it was a six inch stage, I, didn't like it, didn’t like standing up in front of people. But since then I've sat on tall stages, just sat on the edge, got off my chair, which was on the stage, come down and sat on the edge of the stage and told stories, told stories, done demonstrations up on that big stage, just me and one other person, answer questions. Trained all Those practitioners in NLP, timeline therapy, hypnosis to well over 100 people at a time. Now compare that to me not even speaking to one or two people. I could do one, but even then I got a bit flustered. But more than two, three, I was you. That stomach churning and the mind racing heart and uncomfortable. I love it now. I loved every minute, you know, just being able to talk about lovely metaphors about my dog Howie. Howie used to go for walks and the things we learned on those walks and how Howie would talk about various things because he was the best dog in the world by the way. And if you go, I don't know if I think you might be able to search Howie in something like KST box and he might come up because I told a metaphor about, oh, I've recorded a metaphor about that. The metaphor I used to tell on that stage. And the thing is, I enjoyed it because I was me, I was comfortable and people got it and they were comfortable for me. Amazing, isn't it? So what changed? How did I change? Well, one thing, I think it was a prerequisite. It, was I was passionate about learning, learning NLP, learning hypnosis, learning how to help others and myself. It was so important to me. It. I spent time learning my craft, learning my skills, mastering didn't do everything to start off with. I, mastered my skills. I did what I knew and knew what I did, and then I expanded what I knew and then I did what I knew. But it was like my why. I'd found my why without going through all the, the bits and pieces we talk about. Here. Because sometimes we need to do the bits and pieces to find out why. The why. It's important to me, but I just knew it in my heart. What was. This was something I really wanted to do, ended up doing it for. Well, I've ended up doing it. I haven't finished yet. For over 25 years doing this stuff. I mean, if you think about what's the point of doing stuff that's not important to you and learning stuff that's not important to you? But the thing is, here's the thing. You have that thing that. Why that motivation, the passion. That's one thing. You can have a little bit of passion, even only the passion to learn about something. Maybe it's a passion to connect with people. It doesn't have to be the stuff you're learning, like me, could be just a passion to be able to communicate, to, able to connect anything that you're passionate about. It's all you need that little bit of passion. But the thing is, the how is even more simpler than you can expect. It really was. There was no major processes. There was no anybody hypnotizing. Did a lot of hypnosis on myself and with other people. But that wasn't the change. There was no big paradigm shift. No, but it wasn't. It was so simple. So simple. You see, what happened was. And it was back in. Right in the early days of the NLP training, there was a guy there who I got on quite well with. We would sit and have a cup of coffee sometimes and do that. And I was pretty amazed by him because he was, although he wasn't, a, train in NLP, he was actually a practitioner like me, learning the NLP. But he actually did a lot of talking to groups, standing on stages. And he said, as we're talking, said, oh, I really love it, Paul. I really enjoy getting on a stage and talking to people. Oh, it's so good. And me in my little brain going, you're absolutely bloody joking. In fact, I swore a lot more than that, so that would petrify me. And I told him about being terrified of talking to two or three people. I said, I'm comfortable with you because I like you and, you know, you seem friendly. But more than that, I just. It really does get me. I want to change. I do want to change because I want to be able to participate in these training even more. I just said, how did you do it? How did you do it? You know, what was that complicated thing you did? Do you have to get into this, this speaker state where you come out and you're speaking this way and you have to get pumped up and you have to do this. And he go, what are you talking about, Cloughie? Because people call me Cloughie those days as well. Are you talking about Clovy? No, no's not a speaking state. It's not a pumped up state. Because that's not you certainly's not me. I don't speak pumped up. And if I do get excited, it's because I'm passionate and I'm excited, not because I make myself excited, because I'm just comfortable in expressing the way I want. So I said, how'the bloody hell do did you do it if you didn't get. Don't get pumped up. And you weren't taught it? She said, well, it's so simple. And I said before, in simplicity there's genius. He said, it's so simple. I'm on stage waiting to talk. Maybe I'm in the sidelines or maybe'm there's three or four people, we're all going to talk on the stage and we're all sitting on the stage and that all of a sudden I got those, that anxiety again, thinking, because I've done it before where I've had to introduce myself and I'm fifth out of 15 people. And I'm looking at, each one, I'm going, oh, don't forget your name, Paul. Please don't forget your name. Don't forget your name, Paul. I'm telling myself to forget my bloody name. And when I got, I said, I can't remember who I am, thank you. Boom. It petrified me so. Said, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Just to put that picture out of your mind. He said, this is what I do. I'm sitting there and you see, I picture myself. I imagine myself out in the front of that stage before I get there. So I'm sitting there and I'm looking at this like holograph picture of myself. I'm imagining myself out there chatting away to all the people. And it doesn't matter what size a crowd. Maybe I'm only talking to four people, five people, maybe I'm talking to 500 people. Doesn't matter the size of the crowd here. You got all these wonderful little gimmicks you could do. But he said, it doesn't matter. I just see myself over there doing it, enjoying myself. And then I just walk out into that spot where I was, I imagined myself and I catch myself up. That's what I do. Catch myself up. It's a little bit like suddenly I'm acting as if I was already there. So it is in simplicity, there is genius. It really is in simplicity, there is genius. Imagine yourself doing something exactly the way you want it to happen There you go. We've had two of those now. So if you think about it, what was I doing? And I'm sure you'do it too. If you had my. If you had that fear. If you have that fear. This is what we do, didn't we? This is what I used to do in the past. I would see myself not doing it as he was doing it, but I would see myself stuttering, faltering, getting embarrassed, and effectively failing, falling on my assse. And I'd feel all of it altogether. And guess what would happen. Yeah, it would not happen as bad as that. ###us it never happens as bad as we can imagine it. We always imagine the worse, the worst, the worse. But it wasn't pleasant, it wasn't good. I didn't enjoy it. So, of course, the next time I was thinking about it, I made the bloody pictures worse. That's what we did. And the thing is, because what you think about most of all is what you get, whether you like it or not. That's what you get. So, of course, if in the past, when I was thinking about stuttering, faltering, getting embarrassed, failing, I was thinking about it really passionately, reallyot emotions were racking up in there, and I said my stomach was churning, everything like that because the emotions were so high, my unconscious mind was going, oh, that's what you want. Because what you think about most of the time and feel is what you get, whether you like it or not. As if your unconscious mind says, if you get emotional about something, I think that's what you want. That's weird, isn't it? But that's a wonderful weird. A wonderful weird. How can that be so wonderful, Cloughie? How can it be so wonderful? It. Because that bloody process works, doesn't it? It just works. So let's put it in reverse. We do it so many times here on the personal development unplug. Let's just think. What is it? I want to be doing well. I want to be able to be comfortable. I want to be confident, not overonfident. I want to be comfortably confident in myself. Being aware of other people, becoming aware of the things I know, the things I want to explain, or maybe the things I want to connect with all that stuff. That's how I wa want to be and then just imagine yourself out there doing it. That's all you have to imagine yourself out there doing it. A little hologram of yourself doing it exactly the way you want it to do. Want it to be, rather. That's all you do. And as you do that, because we know in a moment, if we were to flow out into that me over there doing the stuff that we want to do exactly the way we want to do it, not the way we didn't want to do it, the way we do want to do it, the way we do want to be. And we float out there, we float into our body. We see what we saw, we hear what we heard we would hear. And we feel those feelings of doing it just away, just the way we want it to happen. We're trying it on, aren't we? We're trying it on. And if it doesn't feel quite as good as we want it, we can make it even better. Because it's just our bloody imagination. We're just imagining it the way we want it. And guess what? You get that good feeling. And, because it's that feeling, it's that feeling that your unconscious mind goes, oh, is this the way you want it then? Oh, bloody hell, that's what we'll do. And you get that feeling and guess what? Then you start to act as if. Act as if the way you imagined it. Because when you act as if you get those feelings again and your unconscious mind goes, yeah, we're back at it, come on. And it just happens. Just happen. Hey, hey, hey, hey. Have a thing, if it's okay with you right now, what would happen if we just did a very quick one, just to get the process into a mind so you can do it whenever you want to do it. Maybe I'll do, a little recording to do it separately, to put it in the hypnosis tracks and the process tracks I do on that other website, poolclothonline.com podcast, that's where they are. Think about what you would like to do better than you're doing already But before we go to that type of depth, let's just think. Is there something that you would like to do better than you're doing already? Just a little thing at the moment. Think of it the way you, you know, what you don't like. How would you like to be? Just if you think about it now, don't think about what you don't want. Think about what you do want. And, when you think about what you do want, think about how you want to be, how younna move, how younna breathe, how you wanna Use your facial expressions, how younna move your body, how you want to. Your tone of voice, maybe a smile, the glint in your eyes. The way you can focus. The way you can just access all the information inside you that younna share. And as you do that, just imagine now making sure, by the way, just before we do this, making sure you haven't got nothing else to do. By the way, you're not driving and all that bloody rubbish. It's not rubbish. You're not doing anything that needs your attention. That's what I'm trying to say. So if it's okay with you and no one needs your attention, it's perfectly, perfectly safe to do this. Because you might be better closing your eyes. It's a lot easier. Less distractions. So you've got to be able to close your eyes on this. If it's okay with you. If it's not, just pause for a moment. When you come back, just press play and we'do it. Close your eyes and imagine yourself performing just the way you want to perform But close your eyes. And as you close your eyes, just imagine yourself over there in front of you. Sometimes I do it like if I was on a stage down below me and in front of me so I'm looking down upon it because it's nice to get that meta view, that different perspective and see yourself doing just that bloody thing that you want to do just the way you want to do it. See yourself like performing in the way that you want to perform. Acting, not play acting but being, behaving just the way you want to be. Communicating just the way you want to be. Connecting just the way you want to connect. And when you think you've got it just about writing, don't be perfect. We've talked about perfect before. It's not going to be perfect because you're going to learn from this when it's about just as the way you want it. And just remember if you's not seeing this in 2020 vision F looking good because not everyone does that. It can be even a sense you're aware that you're doing it doesn't matter. Anything from a sense and awareness to 2020 vision is perfect in this because there's no perfect. And then just flo imagine floating out of where you are now into that you out on that stage and doing it exactly the way you are imagining it now with that tone of voice, that expression, that glint in your eyes, that smile moving your body, breathing. The way being able to articulate, connect, share your whatever you're sharing and notice how good it feels. And when you notice how good it feels. Ramp that feeling up. Just imagine you could just turn it up, make it more intense so you can really feel it, really feel it. Maybe you just want to anchor it. Remember that finger and thumb. Use a different finger, but a finger and thumb just anchor this feeling. So when you think about it in the future, you can just fire that anchor off. When you get to go to do it in real life, you can just fire that anchor off, but you can remember this. Just ask your unconscious mind to remember this. Come back into your body now. Because you've always got to come back in our body. open your eyes. Just imagine in the future, the next time you go to do this, you're gonna be that way. You're gonna act as if. I'm talk a lot more about acting...
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FMQ 474 A Brief Muse on Emotional Scars
12/11/2024
FMQ 474 A Brief Muse on Emotional Scars
A Brief Muse on Emotional Scars A prequel to a longer and deeper dive into emotion scars left by trauma or significant emotional events. It's a 5 minute conversation I guess to wonder on the intention of these scars and more importantly have you fully healed. How do you know you've healed? and what to do about them if you haven't fully let go of those negative emotions and limiting beliefs. Please take this brief time to explore with me and know that help is at hand if you need it Please share to those who may need this: And if if you want to see me in person recording this here's the video link: Shine Brightly 🌟 Paul Hey there! I’d love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at . Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review . Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit . Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to . Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure. Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on , Castbox, , YouTube, or on our . Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨ Music Credits Music by Wataboi, DreamHeaven, ccjmusic, and others from . Personal development [self improvement] [self development] [NLP] [Hypnosis]
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#421 Afraid To Fail
12/07/2024
#421 Afraid To Fail
Overcoming the Fear of Failure – Let’s Unplug This Together Hey, you. Yes, you. Have you ever felt stuck, frozen in the headlights of your own expectations? Like you’ve got to get it just right or not bother at all? That nagging fear of failure with that belief of "I'm not good enough"—it creeps in, doesn’t it? It stops us before we even start. But guess what? Today, we’re pulling the plug on all that. In this episode, we’re diving deep into what’s really behind that fear of failing. Spoiler alert: it’s not about being perfect. It’s about the stories we tell ourselves, the beliefs lurking in the shadows of our subconscious, and the ways we unknowingly keep ourselves stuck. But don’t worry—we’re not here to wallow. We’re here to shift. What We’ll Uncover: Why your unconscious mind stirs up all that anxiety—hint: it’s trying to protect you, just not in the best way. The roots of perfectionism and how they keep you from living your best, most adventurous life. How to rewrite those old stories—yes, the ones that tell you “you’re not good enough.” Tapping into your wins—those times you nailed it, even when you doubted yourself. Anchoring powerful, feel-good emotions to calm that inner critic and give you the courage to. There's loads of golden nuggets here along with the 'HOW' to change Please share so that others too can create the life they deserve - pay it forward Enjoy, shine and be well Paul Shine Brightly 🌟 Paul Hey there! I’d love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at . Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review . Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit . Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to . Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure. Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on , Castbox, , YouTube, or on our . Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨ Music Credits Music by Wataboi, DreamHeaven, ccjmusic, and others from . And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism The heads up to this longer podcast. Is there anything that resonates The heads up to this longer podcast. It's all about I've got to be perfect because I can't fail. I'm afraid to fail. I'm anxious to fail. I'm fearful of failing. Is there anything that resonates? Well, we've got to deep dive into this, and find ways to just let that go. And now we're going toa let it go easily and simply because that's what we do here in simplicity of those genes. Okay, come with me. Get your diving gear on and let's find ways of letting this go right now. Okay, the longer podcast, the deep dive, the deep dive in afraid to fail. And let's go straight into the pain. Really, Cloughie? Yeah, let's go into pain because it's painful. Here's a few words that I think M might resonate with you. It's got to be perfect. I've got to be perfect. It's got to be perfect. If it's not, what will people think? What will they think of me? And what will people think of what I do? Hey, what will that happen? What will happen then? What will it feel like if I get this really wrong, you know, sweating over the tiniest detail? Oh, it's no good. It's not good enough. In fact, I am not good enough. And I tell you what, let's do something that we even more. Even more. Maybe this will resonate even more than that. As you think of when you're doing something and you think it's not going to be good enough. But it's got to be perfect before it goes out into the world. You've got to be perfect before you go out in the world. Let's make a picture in our mind a wonderful movie. Better than Spielberg or anybody else could bloody produce of everything going bloody wrong. Yeah, let's do that. Make this wonderful movie, this picture in our head that shows total bloody failure. And guess what? That movie never happened, did it? That movie isn't happing. But the thing is, because of that movie in your mind, how do you feel? Well, not only you feel all that pressure of having to be perfect, people judging you. You start to get guilt, don't you? Guilt because you didn't produce the goods. But you haven't even produced the goods to hu. You get sadness because maybe you backed away from it, you didn't do it. Maybe there's a little bit of grief going with that sadness, like an extension to that sad. Then the anxiety suddenly kicks in. The fear. I ve gotta do it. I gotta do it. Don't we do this shit to us all the time? Especially when you got toa be perfect. And I want to give you a story. A story. Because this is exactly what one of my clients used to do. And when I spoke to her, she was saying this thing about I'm not good enough. And I said no, no, no, no, no. I know you're saying you're not good enough, but here's the thing. I think there's something deeper. And we went into the feeling of not feeling good enough. And she began to get the belief that was below I'm not good enough. Because I also said to her to, I'll say that again. Also said to her, I bet you're a bloody perfectionist. Because most people with the belief of I'm not good enough on everything else have that bit of perfectionism that they need to be and I'll tell you why shortly. And she said how'you know, Paul? I said well here's the thing. Did you really have to try hard at school or. She said I like to beat everyone at school. Said when you went to college, did you get any degrees? She said well, you know, I got degrees paol because I'm at the top of my job. And she worked in some type of hospital type position and she was a doctor of subkite and she was knocking it out the park. And she said I have to be my best all the time. All the time. All the time. And it's not the glass, ceiling. I've just got be best, got to do everything more than anybody else. Cannot be judged. I cannot be judged. And when we got into that feeling, she said, do you know what this belief is underneath? I'm not good enough. It's come to me now, I'm stupid. And she said, it makes so much sense to me now. And there is a real good positive behind this, you might say. Cluy. How can you be positive when you get guilt, sadness, grief, anxiety, fear, that pressure, that pressure and pressure to be perfect. And we all know, we all know there's no, you can't be perfect in this world. Nothing can be perfect. There's always something never quite perfect. You can always do that little bit better, can't you? Yeah, you can always do that a little bit better. So that was a pretty negative start, isn't it? Your unconscious mind tries to protect you from failure, anxiety and fear And here's the thing. Not going to go into the pleasure yet. Not going to go into the pleasure. But let's talk about this. There's a bloody good reason for all of this. And it's your unconscious mind trying to protect you. It's a great reason, isn't it, to be protected. Wouldn't you love to be protected all the time? Of course you would. I would. I love being in that feeling of feeling just so comfortable with myself and comfortable with the world and comfortable with everyone around me and comfortable with what I do. Wouldn't you? Yeah. See your unconscious mind, over time, something happened, something bloody small. Probably a long time ago when you was an IC icle person, something happened and it didn't quite. You did something and it wasn't quite right. Something happened. And your unconscious mind, well, I didn't like that feeling, didn't like that failure. Maybe there was a little bit of that sense of failure. Maybe there was that little bitter guilt. Maybe there's a little bit of sadness, a little bit of grief, maybe a little anxiety, a little bit of fear. And your unconscious mind says, I don't want this for you. I'm gonna protect you because I'm gonna give you this little belief. And it starts off as a little sense of I'm not good enough. That little bit of fear, little bit of anxiety to make sure you do a good job. Because then if your best friend makes sure you do a good job, how can you be judged? That seems pretty reasonable, doesn't it? But over time your unconscious mind says, I've got to accelerate this, I've got toa make it more intense because you keep doing bloody stuff that you have to do and you get bigger, more stuff comes along and you have to do it. So your unconscious mind says, I'm not gonna let you fail. I'm not gonna let you fail. I'm m not gonna have that feeling of failure. I'm really not. So I'm gonna make these feelings of anxiety, fear, I'm not good enough. Even the bits below, maybe I'm stupid and things like that even more intense. And what happens? Well, I'll tell you what happens in a minute. But here's the thing. If you do suffer from that I'm not good enough feeling, that feeling that you have to be perfect, that feeling you're gonna be judged. And you can see how that spreads into things like impostor syndrome and all that stuff. If you do suffer that, just think back, maybe go back a few years, not too long. But you'll probably notice that feeling isn't as intense as it is now. And if you went back even further, it's not as intense as it's even less intense. And it goes down because your unconscious mind has been ramping it up all to protect you. That's all it's doing. That's wonderful, isn't it? It is wonderful. The only problem is there is a bloody great conflict going on in the world here because your unconscious mind says I'm either going to protect you. Well, I will protect you either because I'm going to give you so much anxiety and stress now to make sure that you do your best job or you won't bloody do it because I'm going to frighten the Jeeus. I'GOT all these pictures in my mind. Remember all those movies going on, how bad it could be? Because you've really got to get better than that or you'got toa back away and don't do it. How do you feel in both of those situations? I bloody tell you do you feel a failure, you feel imperfect, you feel that guilt, the anxiety, the sadness, the grief, the fear, all that stuff. So there's a direct conflict. Your unconscious mind is protecting you from that stuff and the result is you feel it. And that's good in a way because now we can say to our unconscious mind I wanna change. And that's the whole thing. Let's get back to m let's go into pleasure now Let's get back to m let's see if we can go into pleasure now. Wanton pleasure is a great place to be, by the way. Wanton pleasure. Think of that. Heard that saying a Long time ago. Just go into wanton pleasure. But let's go from pain into the pleasure. And what's the first part of this pleasure? I'm going to tell you now, this is all changeable. This can be changed really quickly, really quickly. We can change this and we can be comfortable. And I said earlier in this podast, I love being comfortable in myself. I love being comfortable in the world. I love being comfortable with my friends. And whatever I'm doing, that's what I want. And you see, I tell you how much I feel that comfort. I want that comfort. The very first episode of this personal development unplugged podcast. Not the introduction one number one, but number two, it was all about being comfortable in the world. Letting go of fear, letting go of anxiety, letting go of panic attacks. They even did a hypnosis track it called #2.1 feeling comfortable. And it can change, as I say. But the thing is, firstly, where do we go wrong? Where do so many people go wrong when they try to change this? So many therapists, so many different people, they just want to change. They say, oh, do it this way, do it that way. There's a lot of cognitive stuff and they're ignoring something. They're ignoring your unconscious mind and it positive intention to try to protect you. They ignore it. They don't honour your unconscious mind. Your best friend who’s been doing it for fucking years to protect you and they ignore it completely. Now if I'm your best friend and you ignore me and I've been trying to do something for years and years and years and you ignore me, I'm going to say, do you know what? I'm going to do it even more. I'm not going to go along with this. And that's why they fail because again, they are setting up even more conflict in your mind m more conflict in your world because I just find it doesn't work. And we want to be protected in this world, don't we? We do want to be protected. And that's one of the prime directives of your unconscious mind. To heal you and protect you. That's what it's about. And it wants to protect you from failure. It wants it for you. It's been doing it for so bloody long. Thing is now it's just simply using out-dated processes, out-dated strategy, outdating emotions, behaviors, making those pictures in your mind, feeling the feeling. It's just, it worked a long time ago, but it's missing out. All those years of experience You've got all those years of skill, you've got all those learnings you've got. Because it just keeps doing the same thing. So we need to help him to change the belief. Well, not change the belief, but find a more empowering belief, to find more appropriate behaviours, empowering emotions. And, we need to basically ask your unconscious mind, which is what we re do in therapy, and you do it here. We just say to your unconscious mind, would it be okay to find a better way? Because we know there's a better. Because you know this isn't working at the moment. You can tell your unconscious mind, it feels shit, doesn't feel good. All this pressure just to work. In fact, when I was that client I was talking about earlier, when I said to her, wouldn't it be. Or how would it be? How would it be if you were to use all your skills, all your learnings, everything you've ever done, without the fear, how would you succeed? And she'd say, well, you would say. She did say. She said, I'd be even better, I'd succeed even more, and I would be happy in everything I did. And I know I couldn't be perfect. And, I know I'd learn from it because that's what it's all about, what we do. And it was that moment that she had that uh-huh, aha moment. It would be better to find a better way and without the old ways of anxiety and fear. So we enlist your unconscious mind. We say, I, know you're doing a great job for us. Thank you. You're trying so hard. But let's see if we can find a better way. And we know there's millions of better ways. There's a myriad of better ways. And when we find better ways, even one. And, I said there's millions. A myriad. I love that word, myriad. There's a richness I. You use word rich too much now. But there's a richness of better ways. There's better emotions. Just think being comfortable instead of being anxious, wouldn't that be better? Absolutely. Being a little bit confidence in your competence. You're not overconfident, but you're confident in your competence. Wouldn't that be better? Absolutely. Being able to access all your skills, your knowledge at the moment, wouldn't that be better? Absolutely. Being able to see clearly, wouldn't that be better? Absolutely. So just finding one of those ways would be better and you can have all of them. That. Find times in your past when you've been successful and enjoyed doing it So all we have to do to show you our Unconscious mind, there's better ways. And, how'you do that? Because so many people say, there you go, that's done. Just find better ways. But how the bloody hell did you do it? Well, CLU is here. Never let you go. Never let you go without a how simple way. A really. And in simplicity there's genius. You know that in simplicity there is genius. In simplicity there is genius. We simply find times in your past when you've been successful and enjoyed doing it. And it doesn't have to be in the same context, it really doesn't. It could be just doing anything. You know that time when time sometimes just stand still, you're m in the flow. But just times in the past, at any age, it doesn't have to be yesterday, could be at any time in the past when you've done something, turned out great. Maybe it was a struggle, maybe it was a little bit of a struggle to get there, but you got there and you felt great. You weren't frightened because you had that motivation, that inner confidence. You've got to do this. And if you can write them down, really do write them down. Because you what I say, and I know people sometimes say ``write the bloody stuff down all the time. Yeah, because you relive it when you write it down. And when you relive it, you feel those feelings again. And these are what we call counterexamples, counter examples to your issue. And when we relive each one, we're actually teaching our unconscious mind, look, here's a better way. And you feel those feelings and you can even think, well, what belief must I have had back then when I was doing that? Because I must have had a bloody positive belief about myself when I did that work. And if you can't think about belief, it doesn't come to you. I can make it up. Just say to yourself, what m mu ev must I have had? Because when you come up with, well, I must have had a belief about, I'm okay, I'm safe, I'm gon toa do this, I can succeed. Where did that belief just come from when you made it up? It's the belief or as close as damn it. So you know, you've got that belief and you can do more than one. Obviously you've got more than one, but because what happens when you start to thinking one, Another one comes along and another one comes along. So you need to write pretty quickly. But each one of those is another set of skillse they're nevernna be identical. It'snna be that recipe. Sometimes you more this, more that and you're showing your unconscious mind, this is it. and you can say to yourself with each one, what do we like to use these skills, these emotions, these behaviourss in place of the old way, what would we, we like to use these skills, behave as emotions in the future and imagine it, imagine it bloody happening. You see, when we ask that of the past, we learn from the past. And the thing is, when you think about those counter examples, what would happen if we were to anchor that feeling. When you thought about that time in the past and you see what you saw, hear what you heard and you feel those feelings. And as you feel those feelings, you squeeze a one finger and a thumb together just at the peak of that experience, peak of that feeling. And maybe you just say a word, maybe the belief you think you had, then let it go. And then think of the next one. And as you go through the next one, you feel that feeling. Because you see what you saw, hear what you heard, feel the feelings. As you feel those feelings, let them go so intense. And squeeze the same finger and thumb together, say that same word. You're now stacking an anchor. You're anchoring those feelings. And so when you think about what would it be like in the future, fire the anchor off. That would make the picture in your mind be so good because you're imaginine it happening the way you want it to happen. And Even if you look back at the past and you find that anger, you'd notice that memory...
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