Anxiety to Confidence - The Personal Development Unplugged Podcast
Anxiety to Confidence - The Personal Development Unplugged podcast. Dealing with all areas of anxiety, low self-esteem, fears to regain your confidence in all areas of your life, and being unique in using Hypnosis and NLP. Awarded one of the top 15 personal development podcasts A podcast for those wanting to let go of what holds them back through personal development but want it made simple and easy to understand and more importantly use, take action and make a difference to your life and the world you live in. If you want to change the way you feel and the way you act and react. If you have negative emotions, behaviors, that you want to lose forever and create something special in your life then I think you will like what you hear. In effect be the Real You Again! This genre of self-improvement, self-development, and mastery of your mind has, I believe, been made over complicated and secretive and here I am de-constructing the processes into their simple forms that we can all understand and easily use. There are no interviews just little ol’ me ;0) Who am I and what do I do?………Paul Clough. I now love helping making changes in people and to guide them to create the life they really want. A personal look at me: The above sentence was not always the case and being the best in the financial realms of the building industry was my aim and getting there by any means. I now know this is, and was, the worst way ~ even if I did make director of one of the largest building companies in Cambridge by the age of 30. One of the major realizations came on my first ever training in hypnosis. I found that it’s not a win-lose world and that a win-win is only a low basis to live. Being true to your beliefs and coming from a place of integrity where service is paramount. This understanding together with lots of NLP skills helped create my last partnership in the building industry grow from a turnover of £800k to £16m in less than twelve years and that can only be done with giving more than expected. Another shaping of me came from two traumatic events in my life that happened within six months of each other which created a number of major changes in me and my beliefs in what is possible. I have written about my experience and how I dealt with it but more importantly it really showed me my love for my three boys and theirs for me and resulted in the step up to become a trainer of NLP (which I never intended) and my close and exciting work with two of my sons. In supporting Joseph and help create change in people in our training’s and his wonderful life changing ‘Be your potential weekend’ and with Luke the continuing development of Cambridge Hypnotherapy and Hypnosis processes. My relationship with my third son Daniel just keeps getting better and better too. Not knowing how good I had become in change work, in the beginning, I generally studied, practiced, and saw clients then things started to happen when I started to work following just my instincts. Two clients come to mind both in effect dying from the effects of what was happening to them and the way they felt and within one and two sessions respectively not only won the will to live they changed virtually in front of my eyes and being apart of that process was and is the best feeling alive. The above are just three of the many brilliant learnings I have had in my life. The more formal bit Paul Clough I am a Trainer and Master Practitioner of NLP and Hypnosis and am passionate about assisting those who want to reach their full potential and his special skills form a unique foundation for success. I constantly seek and develop new skills and learning’s – through advanced levels of Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP), Time Line Therapy ™, Hypnosis and to improve everyone I work with. I have an understanding of the mind/body connection which enables me to create in my clients the difference that makes the difference ~ from excellence to outstanding. For those that want qualifications: Certified Trainer and Consultant of Neuro-Linguistic Programming Certified Master Practitioner of NLP & Time Line Therapy Certified Master Hypnotist and Hypnotherapist Together with Luke and Joseph I have consistently strived and succeeded to create ways to improve people's lives and give new beliefs of what’s possible. Our potential is without limits ~ infinite in every way.
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#461 Keeping Negative Emotions At Bay
09/12/2025
#461 Keeping Negative Emotions At Bay
Keeping Negative Emotions At Bay Ever lost your cool over something small — then realised it wasn’t about the “thing” at all? In this episode of Personal Development Unplugged, I take you through a real-life moment where frustration turned into anger, then into something deeper… limiting beliefs like “I’m stupid” or “I’m not good enough.” Here’s the truth: those surface emotions are rarely the whole story. By peeling back the layers, you’ll discover what’s really driving them — and more importantly, how to release them. You’ll learn: How to spot the real emotion underneath anger or frustration A simple process to break free from limiting beliefs before they grow Why small learnings create massive change over time This isn’t about pretending negativity doesn’t exist. It’s about learning from it, dissolving it, and building stronger foundations for success — every single day. Takeaway: When you uncover the lesson behind an emotion, the emotion itself loses its grip. That’s freedom. and don’t forget to check out the free hypnosis tracks waiting for you at Shine Brightly 🌟 Paul Hey there! I’d love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at . Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review . Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit . Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to . Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure. Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on , Castbox, , YouTube, or on our . Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨ Music Credits Music by from , Music by from , Music by from , Music by from , Music by from , And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism #461 Keeping Negative Emotions At Bay Hey, imagine this. Just imagine this for a moment. Imagine if you're me, coming to my my body, my feet, my footsteps, my shoes, as we call it, into this lovely little recording place. And imagine this. You set out to record a podcast episode. And you do it. And do you know what? You're bloody pleased about it. It just seemed to all just flow. All just flow. You are in the zone. Whatever the zone is for that. You're just letting things just happen. The words just came so sweetly. You're there. You feel great. Feel good about yourself. You've even put a video out. You're recording the video. Everything is going just sweet. And then you finish. Now, what could be better? Something happened just in that moment. You were in the present. How good does that feel? How good does that feel? And then you go, well, I'm just going to take that audio section out and put it over there. And as you take it out, you put it onto this other program. What happens? There's a flat line all the way through. You know what a flat line means? It means this. Not a bloody sound. Oh, that must be a mistake. Must be a mistake. So click on the video. And what happens? I'm just mouthing words. Nothing's coming out. And there's a flat line. No audio. And I look down and there's my little microphone box thingy, which I don't know what it is, but I've got one of those over there. And it should be lit up. And it isn't. It means the microphone wasn't switched on. Oh my. Well, what happened? What happened? I went absolutely ballistic. First of all, I started shouting at myself. Why are you stupid? Go like that. Out loud, by the way, because there's no one can hear me in this place. So I can let it rip. And that didn't satisfy me. So what else did I do? Well, this bloody microphone got it. I swore at the microphone. I gave it. Why the hell weren't you switched on? You're so stupid. I don't know why I've got you. It was this person in front of me, this little microphone, my friend for all these years. And I was given it some. And then I thought to myself, how did I feel? How do I feel about this? And the thing is, I just felt angry. Really, really angry. And I thought, well, that's fine, if you're going to do something about this, what are we going to do about it? What are we going to do? Because if you think about it, I'm angry. I'm angry at the bloody microphone, the box over there, the zero sound. Was it the mic's fault? Was it balls? Was it? Was it the little box's fault? Was it? No. But I had to think, I had to think, okay, so what's below the anger? What is below my anger? And of course, you know, there's that, it was frustration, angry about wasted time and, you know, having something what I thought was pretty good and buggered it up. But that's still anger, isn't it? And that frustration, it's just gone simmering now, that anger's simmering into frustration. I thought, no, come on, Cloughie, this, you know, you're better than this. What is below that frustration? And I thought to myself, well, do you know what? I'm so bloody stupid. You know, I'm stupid. Maybe I don't deserve it. Maybe I don't deserve it. And I thought to myself, okay, come on, come on, keep going, Cloughie, keep going. You know, you said I'm stupid, a limiting belief, isn't it? I don't deserve this, another limiting belief. And what's the emotion around those two? And I thought, I feel a little bit guilty, which is quite weird, but guilty of failure. I'm a failure. I failed. I'm no bloody good. Not good enough. Oh, bugger. Now we're into something a little bit deep, because we've like peeled away the onion layers, haven't we? We've gone between that first initial surface emotion and just gone below the surface. But we didn't stop there. We went, or I didn't, we went a little bit weak. You came with me. We went a little bit deeper. And then what happened? We found that limiting belief. And you see, all the anger was outward, but the limiting beliefs were at an identity level, weren't they? I'm stupid. I don't deserve this. I'm a failure. I'm not good enough. Or talking about me as a person. This is me, my identity. Shit. Now, the thing is, and this is what happens to us, I think. If I hadn't done any of this, I'd have stopped at that surface level, even though below the surface, all that stuff is still there. What happens is the next time something similar happens, it's reinforced, isn't it? Below the surface, it's reinforced to say, yeah, you are bloody stupid, Cloughie. Yeah, I don't deserve this. You know, I'm just reinforcing your bloody failure. I really am a failure. It's happened again. And then you start thinking, well, how many more times will it keep happening? You know, you're setting it out in the future and it's going to start growing. Because that's what happens. And your unconscious mind wants to try to protect you from this feeling. So, it makes you even more angry sometimes to either cover it up or just to do something to take away that feeling of failure. And it grows and generalises into different areas, not just little things like this, but other areas. So then I really start to believe I'm a failure. I really start to believe I'm not good enough. And it all started back then from that little thing. So, and this happens all the time, doesn't it? So what are you going to do about it? Well, this is what I did. And this is part of the process, lovely little process that I learnt. You ask yourself, okay, what can I learn from this? Because it's the learnings, you see, if you learn from a negative event, a highly emotional event, and you take the learnings and you understand them and you take them inside so you can use them in the future, guess what? That negative emotion just disappears. It doesn't need to be here anymore because you've got the learnings. It doesn't need to try to protect you anymore from that. It doesn't have to get all through those old horrible behaviours. Now I could say, what do I need to learn? Okay, well, turn on the mic before you do it. That's a sort of learning, but that's not just looking outward in, isn't it? I want to go deeper, just like I peeled away the layers. What's below that? Well, I thought, well, you talk a lot about pausing, Cloughie, setting your intention. And if you thought about it before you recorded, you'd have stopped, made sure that you've got all the bits and pieces you want. The lights are working. The cameras are working. Oh, the mic is working. And it's at the right level and all that stuff. Okay. So I've learned a little bit, it's all about pausing. And I thought, well, is there a deeper lesson to this? And it came to me, just sitting there thinking about this. And by now, because I've gone below the layers, I was talking to myself like this. I was interested. I was curious. And the anger and frustration had gone completely, even though I still hadn't got the recording. I thought, well, it's all about the basics, isn't it? Because when we're into things and we think we understand things, we forget the basics. And the basics are a foundation to build off. And the more we come back to creating the most strongest foundation, everything above it will be supported so well. And they're like the foundations of success. Now, this podcast might not be a success, but if I'd have done the right things, I'd have felt a success. And that's all it's about, really. I know it's for you, but it's also about me and the way I feel. If I did this and didn't feel good about it, you know what, I'd stop straight away. But if I feel good about it and no one listens or watches, it's cool because I've done something that makes me feel good. And when I feel good, things are happening inside and I'm learning. And I'll take that good feeling into other areas of my life. And then I just thought, well, just before we move on from there, think about it now, just visualise, Cloughie, just for a moment, 60 seconds, just visualise coming into this room, this lovely little room, getting ready, switching all the things on, go back to your basics, take a breath. Got a little sign that says smile. Yeah, just to remind myself, let's just lighten up, get into those foundations and see yourself doing that great job. So I saw myself doing a great job. So I did it again and I did a great job. I think I did a great job. I did a great, the great job that I felt was good enough, good enough for me. It made me feel good. Now, did you get the process? Did you get the process? Well, I'll go through it with you because I think it's great too. Repetition is the mother of skill. So let's have a little think. And if you've got a notebook, you do little bullet points or a little mind map. So what happens? Here's the thing. Something happened, didn't it? Something happened in my life and it can be good or bad because I want to learn, this is not just for negative emotions, although when you have a negative event with negative emotions, you want to clear that. So you don't bring them in the forward or bring them into the future when the same becomes the now. But if it's a good event, I want to learn from good events so I can repeat them. Yeah. So one allows you not to repeat and use better emotions. Or the other one says, now let's grow from this. And they're going to grow from this, from both anyways. So good or bad, we react. And we always remember the negatives, by the way, because they're there to protect you. We have this negative bias, don't we? So let's use it. Let's use the bloody thing. It's there hardwired in our neurology. So let's use the bloody thing for good. If it's going to protect us, let's use it for real protection and a real wonderful future. So something happens. Something happens in our life. It's called like a change. Sometimes something happens to change us and that changes is emotional. So what we do once we notice it. Now, ideally, if you do it on the time, well, I did mine directly afterwards. But if you can really quickly, really quickly, just after that event has happened, if not in the evening, just quietly when you're sitting there, let's have a little think. Oh, that thing happened. How did I feel? How did I react emotionally? How did I react behaviourally? Because you might have, you know, my behaviour was absolutely atrocious. Because not only did I swear, I don't mind swearing. Swearing can be good when it's done in a lovely way. But not when it was like that, because it wasn't nice. And I behaved in a fractious, angry manner. And my body took on anger, you know, the blood was pumping. Thoughts, because even behaviours can be your thoughts and your words and your internal voice and all that stuff. So just make a note, how did I react? What was my behaviour? And then go, well, okay, what was that surface emotion? What's below that? And now you start to get curious. And you're also the teacher of yourself. Because you're now dissociated from it. And you're looking down upon that event or looking down into your emotions and go, okay, what's below that basic emotion? Ah, okay. And just notice what comes up because it will just come up and go with it. Go with what comes up because you're asking your unconscious mind, what's below that? Just what's below that surface? And then what's below that? What does that mean? What is it just below that? Just keep going, maybe one or two levels. And when you get to a level where you think, yeah, I think I've got that negative belief that's now with it. We're talking about a negative emotion or a negative event. So we're looking to see, well, what does that mean? What belief do I have about myself when I'm at that level, three levels, two levels down? What is that identity? I, I can, I can't, I'm not. Not normally I can unless I can be a right dick, that type of thing. But that's what I say to myself. Oh dear. But you find, okay, now we've got this negative emotion. We've also got these negative behaviours we've realised and we've also got the limiting belief that's attached to it. Now, what can I learn from that? And just notice what is the learnings that if you learn them now from that event, you can use them in the future to have and create a better life for yourself. And that's it. Now, how many times do you have those type of events? Well, for me, pretty damn often. So I've got my little book and I'm starting to fill up, but it's filling up with learnings. And then I get curious about other things what's happening. I find that the triggers aren't quite so excessive now. So there you go. The process, let's just go back, bullet points. Something happens, boom. Make a note of it. What was the emotion present? What was the original behaviours present? Then just go below the surface. What emotion is below that surface? What's driving that surface emotion? And what's just below that? And what, when I think that below the surface emotion, get it right Cloughie, what is that limiting belief that I think about myself? And then when I learn from it, what can I learn from it? Then you find when you've learned from it, how do I think now of the future? When I look to the future and I'm going to do that same type of thing again, just before it happens, what happens? And for me, I come and say hello to my mic. I tell I'm sorry. It's my friend. It's my friend. And so there's a little box in the corner and everything is good. And start with a smile, which is what I did. Now, did I make myself perfectly clear? I hope so. Did I communicate in a way that's going to allow you to learn from all these? Because they're just little events. They don't have to be massive, just little events, which will allow you to grow. Small steps allow you to really get good feelings when you think about changing in the future. Because that's what personal development is. It's a lot of little steps. But when you go through each one, they don't seem that much. But the cumulative effect, if that's the way to say it, is massive. And it's only when you look back and you go, do you know what? I've changed. Things have happened. This is good. I'm beginning to feel I'm making notes about feeling good about different things, more things, more times in my life, I'm feeling good about stuff. And that's what we want for each other. So I hope I've communicated that in a way that is clear. And hopefully I've enthused you a little bit to start looking at those little things in life to make them better and learn. If you just make those three notes and do it and then share it to other people, you will get it better in your head as well. Because when you share the things you've learned verbally, you get to realise how much you know or can't quite explain it. Maybe I've got to go back and find out exactly what it was. So you hone in. And that repetition, again, gets your memory to store these learnings deeper and better and more accessible. You repeat them all the time. Yeah. So if you could share that, please share this, share the podcast. If you would, I need a boost. I do. You know, we just plod along and stumble along in this little world of personal development. I'm happy here. But I love more people to get the benefit of some of the things I'm sharing with you and get the benefit of you sharing them with other people, because that allows you to grow too. You know, selfless service, that's a thing. And when you share these type of things with people, you will grow. And the multiverse and the universe and the law of attraction and all that stuff will dump dollops of good stuff on you. All from no want of return. But it just does that. And we all have a wonderful life. So please do that. Press that subscribe and follow button. All that lovely stuff. And have a listen to a few hypnosis tracks of mine. Okay. So I'll see you next time. Have more fun than you can stand. And guess what? What would happen talking to your unconscious mind if you were happy for no reason? Oh, time to fly. Warning, you are now leaving the unplugged mind of Paul Clough. It's time to fly. Be brave, my friend. Personal Development Unplugged Transcribed by . Personal development [Unplugged] [podcast][NLP][Hypnosis][self development]self improvement][awareness]
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FMQ 512 Today Is A Special Day - Find Out Why
09/09/2025
FMQ 512 Today Is A Special Day - Find Out Why
Today Is A Special Day – Find Out Why Every single day is unique, but how often do we really live it like that? In this Five Minute Quickie, I want you to pause, reflect, and realise that today is the only one you’ll ever get. No repeats, no reruns. We’ll dive into: Why seeing today as a gift and a present changes your mindset How a little gratitude and intention can make ordinary days extraordinary Simple ways to create meaning for yourself and others in the moment This isn’t about waiting for the future or getting stuck in the past. It’s about recognising that today is special — because it’s all we really have. Listen in, share it forward, and let’s make this day one worth remembering. And the video link Shine Brightly 🌟 Paul Hey there! I’d love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at . Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review . Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit . Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to . Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure. Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on , Castbox, , YouTube, or on our . Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨ Music Credits Music by from , Music by from , Music by from , >, Music by from , Music by from , And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism Hey the five minute quickie. Now this is really just five minutes to muse, or in some ways for me to muse and you hopefully to get inspired to muse on the same type of subjects or develop them even more. So what am I going to talk about today? Well it is today I want to talk about because what is today? What is today? Do you know? Well today is special. It's a special day today and why is it special? Come on, come on. Why is this special? Because it's the only bloody one you're going to get. Only one. This day has never happened before it will never happen again. End of. End of. This is the only day you're going to get. Now how often do we think about that? How often do you think about this is a special day? Or do we just go through it mundanely? What's the word? Anyway you know just go through our life. I don't say our daily life but yeah it is. How often do we just go through the day without thinking that it is special? How often? And how often then because if we thought about this is the one and only day we're going to get, make it special. And yeah personal admitment. Admitment? My words today are no good. I don't do it either. Well if I don't or do, I don't do it enough. Because I've just been thinking about it lately. Thinking well you know I heard a lovely lovely saying. You know what's special about today? Well it's another day above ground. Waking up and thinking another day above ground. I'm breathing. I'm here. So I now have an opportunity because it's all about having an opportunity to make this day special in a special way. You know maybe there's things I can do for other people. I know I go all bang on about selfless service. I do try to do as much as I can. We're all human. We all have our little foibles and we fall back and we get blindsided but we always hopefully try to do a little bit more for other people using the skills we've learned. Help them in this special day. And also I also think that we should make it special for ourselves. Because at the end of the day we're the only one of us. And therefore how can we make it special for us too? And if you thought about it just this is the muse. This is a muse where I'd love you to take away and sit down in the sun or in the evening or wherever you are with your glass of water, maybe a gin and tonic, maybe a beer, maybe a cup of tea, a coffee, maybe your puzzle book and just think how can I make every day special? Are there things I could do? Or just being grateful. Getting that seed of gratefulness inside you and feel it even more because today is special. And what are the things I can do on the next day that's going to be special? Now you see the day is not the past is it? Can't be. The past is gone isn't it? Well the past is we say the past is gone but it doesn't exist. Time is just a figment I guess. But the past is just a memory. And the future, well it's not there is it? Because if it was there we'd be in it. But it's just the next day when it comes into the present. And that's the thing. Why do you think today is called the present? Here's what I think. Because it's the present, it's a gift. We've been given the gift of life, given the gift of making it special, being our unique selves and doing the things that we do uniquely. And when we just get this sense of gratitude and actually set our intention to do something really good today it'll be awesome. And then when we go to sleep we can just feel so grateful just as we close our eyes of a great day. And then when we wake up in the morning again it's another day above ground. How can I make today's gift of the present special? There you go. That is something to muse about isn't it? It's deep or it could be deep but it is something to to muse. And once you do that and you start to get that sense of gratitude I believe the days just get better. And please share this with your friend, your best friend. Not your best friend inside because they know but your best friend outside. And share the podcast if you would so it grows and more people get to have the present and be special. Okay do that please, follow, subscribe and all that lovely stuff because it is now time to fly into the musings of your life. Before you go my friend I'd like to ask you a question. Did you learn something from this this episode? I hope you did because even though every episode may not be the one that really floats your boat, sets you you know, alight. Hopefully there's a takeaway in each and every episode for you and I'd love to know what it was. So please do email me at feedback at personaldevelopmentunplugged.com. It's a personal email to me. I'd love to know so we can carry on doing this work that will allow you to exceed your dreams. And what's the payment for this? Payment Cloughie? What are you talking about payment? I thought it was free. Well it's like pay it forward and if you could pay this forward in two ways or maybe three. First way is please share it. Share this podcast with as many people as you could and you can. It's very easy. Just press that share button. Send it off by email to them. You'd love to. This is something you might like. Might get that right Paul. Something you might enjoy. And hey if you could, a real big pay it forward to me is wherever you're getting this podcast. Is it iTunes, Castbox or Stitcher or whichever you're getting from. Google Play. I don't know. Would you please just leave a review? Because a review really helps people find this podcast. There's thousands out there and we want to or I want to direct people to this podcast. And the way to do it is by reviews. So if you could do that. If you could share. You could do that. And also just make sure that you're subscribed so you get this episode and every other episode. On a Wednesday and a Saturday. If you do all of that. My little heart will sing. And if you want me to sing. Well you'll have to wait and see. Enjoy. But please do. Do all of that. Make my heart sing. Bye bye now. Warning. You are now leaving the unplugged mind of Paul Clough. It's time to fly and run. Be brave my friend. Personal Development Unplugged Transcribed by . Personal development [Unplugged] [podcast][NLP][Hypnosis][self development]self improvement][awareness]
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#460 Letting Yourself Down - Thinking Of Others -DON'T
09/05/2025
#460 Letting Yourself Down - Thinking Of Others -DON'T
Letting Yourself Down: Thinking of Others – DON’T Do you put everyone else first? Always there for family, friends, even the ones who don’t always treat you right? That’s an incredible value to have — being dependable, supportive, and accountable. But here’s the truth: when you constantly put others before yourself, you’re letting yourself down. And when you let yourself down, you let everyone down. In this episode, I’ll guide you through a simple but powerful exercise to uncover your core life values — the foundation of who you are. Once you know your top three, you’ll understand how to live in alignment with them, stay true to yourself, and actually be a stronger support for those you care about. This isn’t about being selfish. It’s about knowing who you are, standing on that rock-solid foundation, and being accountable to you. From there, everything else — your goals, dreams, relationships — falls into place. Listen in and find out: Why putting others first can actually let them down. How to discover your top three life values. How living by those values makes you the best version of you. Why accountability starts with yourself — or it doesn’t work at all. It’s time to stop letting yourself down. Build your foundation. Live your values. And only then, lift up others. Let's share this with others And there is a video of this too h Shine Brightly 🌟 Paul Hey there! I’d love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at . Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review . Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit . Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to . Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure. Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on , Castbox, , YouTube, or on our . Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨ Music Credits Music by from , Music by from , Music by from , >, Music by from , Music by from , And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism #460 Letting Yourself Down - Thinking Of Others -DON'T So, what's this longer episode going to be about? Well, I don't think it's going to be about that long, but it is important. And you know, well I think I know you, you're the type of person who won't let their mates down. You'd probably do anything, anything, rather than let somebody down, because that's the type of person you are. I think we've all done it, but I know you do it. You've rushed around, you've changed things, you know, you even made a few sacrifices probably and made a point that you could be counted on. You see, I think it's really good that you have that value, that you could be supportive and you're countable, you can be counted on. That's a great value to have. I want you to just remember those times now, if you just think about it now, remembering those times when you have looked to just help others, you know, you're not going to let them down. It could be that you want to make sure that you can be dependable or depended on. You infuse, you help motivate by being there. Remember it? Remember those times? I know there's more than one, so, you know, just have a think back for the moment right now, while I'm speaking of times in the past where you've busted a gut to make sure that you've supported other people. Yeah? Because we've all done it, but I know you have, you know, maybe your best friend. No, not that one, it's the other best friend, the other best friend out there. You know, if they asked you to do something, they needed help, they needed support, you'd be there, wouldn't you? You'd be there, like a bloody rat up a drain pipe. Not a nice term, but you would, wouldn't you? You'd be there. A family member, you'd be there. Even the one that you don't sometimes like. Sometimes we have families that don't suddenly gel, and even that one, if push came to shove, you'd be there. Absolutely, you'd be there, because you could be counted on. And it's a little bit like taking that one little step further, you know, we call it like a gym buddy, or a diving buddy, someone you can count on, someone who's always there. And with a gym buddy, you're also accountable to them in the way that you have to turn up, you do your bit for them while they're there. And it's like a mutual accountability, but it's all about accountability to that person. Being that safe pair of hands, dependable. It's nice, isn't it? Nice to think that you do that, and I'm pleased that you do it. It's all such an excellent thing to do. So what are you going to say next, Cloughie? Because I know there's a but coming, and it's not a but, but it is an a, yeah, it's a but. But the thing is, these are all outside things. They're being dependable to people outside you. They're in your environment, your external environment. What about the team of one? Or if you've changed that one to the team of I, how many times have you put others in front of yourself, over yourselves? And you see, that's the most selfish, I can't even say the bloody word, selfish thing that you can do. No, Cloughie, you can't. How can you be so selfish if I'm doing this for other people? Because you're not looking after yourself first. You look after yourself first, you are healthy, you're happy. You've really got yourself, you know, you've got your shit together. And they get to be around you when you've got your shit together. Who would you rather be around? Someone who's got their shit together, or someone who hasn't? Yeah, they could be trying, and you go, they try so much, but they really need help themselves. And that's what I want you to do. I want you to do that external stuff. Because it's that selfless service, being accountable to other people in that way. You're really being accountable to yourself, because you're living to that value of helping others. But I want you to think. I want you to think of yourself a little bit. And I want you to think of your values. And you can say, yeah, Cloughie, Cloughie, we've talked about values. The values of why is work important to me? Why is relationships important to me? And we've done all of that. Yeah. Why is work out there? What's important to me about work out there? What's important about relationships or people out there? What's important about my family out there? Again, it's external values. I'm talking about the team of I, the team of one, you inside. What are your life values? What are the most important things to you? That you, that your identity? Do you know? Most people don't. Most people don't. I did mine a long time ago, and I still think about, should I, not should I change them, but have they changed? Or do they still feel, or do they still feel strong? Do they still feel me? And they do. Mine are being truthful. That's number three. Being loyal. That's number two. And being totally trustworthy. That's number one. And there's love in there as well, but they're the three that I, I want to be able to count on myself to live a life with those values. Because if I live a life with those values, when I share them with other people by actions, my behaviours, my accountability, it's going to come through stronger than ever. When people know that they can trust you, and they're, you're loyal. You know, you're truthful. So what are yours? Do you know your top three? How'd you do it? Just as we did it before. But just think now, what's really important to me in life? What's really important? And just get a piece of paper. Throw them down on a piece of paper. Ask again. What else? What else is important to me? And write that down. What else is important to me in my life? Get at least seven. Maybe ten. And we're not going to use them all. We're not going to use them all, but it's good to have. But you see what tends to happen is, the first two or three that come to mind are the ones which are up there, up in the front. They're the more conscious. But as you start to empty the, whatever you're emptying, because you're emptying something outside you, or inside you, out onto the piece of paper, you start to get more unconscious, more unconscious values that you maybe were aware of, but you're not, or you weren't quite. And when you get them, you just go, do you know what? If I could only have one of these, which would be the most important one to me. And just look at that paper, and notice how it just jumps out, out of the page at you. Write that down on a separate piece of paper. Cross it off of the other list. And then go, well, how are those others? Maybe those other nine. What's the most important one? If I could only have one of those nine remaining things that are important to me, what is the most strongest, most valuable one to me? And when it jumps out of the page, you know the one, you know the bloody one. Write it on that separate piece of paper, and then do it one more time. Just look, you've crossed out the two, you're looking at the remaining eight or so, and you go, what is the most important thing left for me in that page? And then, obviously, you write it on that other piece of paper. Now you've got the three, the three. And let's look to see, as you say, well, these are my values, my identity. Do they support me? Because if they don't, we might have to do some value work. But generally, they support you. You look at them and go, do you know what they are? They're rock. They're my rock. And if I could strive to live just by those three values alone, the rest will fall into place anyway. They'll come along. But if I could strive to live my life with those top three values in it, I'd be following my path. I'd be striving to be the best version of myself. But also, everyone could depend on me when I've got those three values, and I'm striving to live my values at my identity, and people get the benefit of it. And guess what? I'd feel even better and happy for it. I'd be feeling a bit more joy. And if I don't live to those values, I'd let myself down. And that ain't going to happen. Because if I let myself down, I would let everyone down. And that's not going to happen, because I know there's like that twin value. But I'm not going to let myself down, because I have inside me this thing that is just me. Cut that myself down. This is what makes me in the world. And if I'm not accountable to me, how can I be accountable to others? Doesn't work, does it? If I let myself down, I let everyone down. I can't let myself down and not let other people down, can I? Of course I can't. And it's really just understanding your values. Because when you understand them, you can make sure your goals, your dreams are fully intertwined and supported by those values. And you'll see how those values will create the success of that goal, success of that dream, the success of the outcome. So get to know. Get to know what's most important to you in life. Your life, what's most important. You've got the hierarchy, one, two and three. There's others, but mould yourself around that. Mould yourself. And notice how each of having those would support the different areas of your life. How you can then move through the rest of your life and enhance those particular values you have for those different contexts. That's the way it works. Keep them close. Keep them close. I used to have them on a piece of paper. Look at them regularly. I don't need to now because they are here. I know them. And if I know when I'm not performing my best, I think of my values. I go, aha. Not living up to those, am I? I've just let one of those slip a little bit or I'm not really pushing it. This is a foundation you see. It's a foundation of who you are, your identity. Now I said this wasn't the longest of the longer podcasts, but I think it's really important. It's when you know who you are and you can develop them by the way because then you start thinking, well, you know, maybe there's something I can improve even more. But you start from that foundation, a rock steady foundation that will support you. And then when you get to help others, you're even, you know, you're building upon those values. You're reinforcing them. It's like you can't love people if you don't love yourself. So you can't be accountable to others if you're not accountable to yourself. But you can't be accountable to yourself if you don't know who you really are. What is the mainstay of who you really are, your identity? Because when we understand our identity and how our beliefs and values just all fit together, boom, everything else comes together. You'd be able to use, well, you learn new skills because of those things. You'd be able to use those skills. The behaviours you have are rock solid and you do them everywhere. I think this is more of a thinking thing. I don't want to listen to it again, but just have a little think and go, do I know mine? And if I don't, let's just do this. It takes about five minutes. Just set yourself down and go, do you know what? I'm going to find out these bloody values. You'd be surprised how good they are, how strong they are. When you uncover them, because they're just inside, just a little way inside. And when you and your unconscious mind share this information together, whoo, you're buzzing. You're buzzing. Did I make sense? Did it make sense? Did I communicate it in a way that's got you to think a little bit? I hope so. I always hope these things. What's the point of doing it? But it's just important. It is important. It's important. What are my values? Support you. But I have to get that trust, honestly. And I'll just be there. Okay, that's it. This is a longer podcast, which isn't that long. Something to think about. It's like a longer muse, I guess. Enjoy, share with everyone you can and hit me up on the email, feedback at personaldevelopmentunplugged.com if you want to. I'd love to hear from you. See what your thoughts are and if there's any help I can give you, I will. So until the next time, my friend, you go fly and have more fun than you can stand. Ta-ra. Your six steps to achieving supreme inner confidence. Who's this program for? This is for anyone who experiences anxiety, self-doubt and fear. But deep down, they know they have something within them just craving to be free. It's for people who want to achieve their ambitions, to achieve their dreams with total confidence and self-belief. So in the next five or so minutes, we're going to realize your lack of self-confidence is not the problem. It's by letting go of the fear that's holding you back and stopping that constant worrying what others think of you. We're going to let go of nagging fear of not being good enough and being found out. So you wake up and feel good about yourself and what that day holds. To be excited about the future and what that holds for you. Want to find the old you and then the real you. How to dream the dreams you want for yourself and have those dreams become real. So I promise to you, it is a step-by-step program to supreme inner confidence. But let's be honest, this is not magic. I don't promise to wave a magic wand and say, Hey, presto! Everything's changed. If you really want this, you're going to have to do some work to do whatever it takes. Hey, does this sound like you? Are you constantly in fear of not being in control? Do you overthink everything? Do you question everything and everybody? Do you wonder, will this ever end? And what if it doesn't? See, the real problem, you haven't taken the steps to deal with the true cause of all your issues. It's okay. You're about to discover them now. And once you take them, you're going to feel so excited to see the world and the opportunities in it. To have fun and laughter again. Joy and happiness. Wake up in the morning with a buzz of energy now that a heavy load has been lifted. To feel calm, content, empowered. To feel free. The real sense of freedom. Effortlessly to be in control again. And to simply be the real you. So who am I? I'm a masked hypnotist. Trainer of NLP and hypnotherapist. I help people to be who they really are and let go of all their insecurities and enjoy their life again. In fact, for the past 18 years plus, I've simply been helping clients to let go of their issues and get their real results. That's me, Paul Clough. Let's discover those six steps. There are six key steps you must take and make to let go of your anxiety and self-doubt fully, completely, while unleashing your untapped, undiscovered self-confidence. I'm going to walk you through all six steps. Step one. Don't fight it, but honor it. You see, this program is not a bandage or a plaster. They simply don't work. We need to understand what your own confidence and low self-esteem is doing for you. That's right. It's doing something positive for you. The mind shift. They're not the enemy. If you fight them, fight it. Push against it, the snowball just gets bigger and bigger. You know that. And if you fight it and push against it, it just spreads in other areas of your life. You know that. The mind shift. Work with your best friend. Your unconscious mind. You see, it's all about unconscious learning, not consciously learning. Because you see, you didn't learn to be this way consciously. So why would you try to solve it consciously? It rarely works and probably makes it even worse. So what does work and make things better? You see, it's all about learning at the unconscious level to truly understand what it will mean to you to be competent and confident in all areas of your life, to have your unconscious mind learn what it needs to, that once learned, will let go of all your negative feelings and debilitating and paralyzing self-talk. That was the old way. People used to have many sessions with little or no change. You'd be guided to lovely places and feel so relaxed now, but not later. They'd make you relive those past memories when things felt really uncomfortable and low. And they'd tell you to be confident this way, using these stories in their own generic way. That's not you, that's not yours. The secret, you see, you don't need someone telling you how to be or how long it will take. You just need the will to do whatever it takes to follow this program. Because we're going to unconsciously learn from the past and keep the intention of your unconscious mind to create an empowering and confident present. And then, with all of that, create the future you want. You see, together we're going to learn to change old beliefs. Together we're going to find new behaviors and new ways to feel confident. See, it's not my way of being confident, free,...
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FMQ 511 Spicing Up Success
09/02/2025
FMQ 511 Spicing Up Success
Spicing Up Success Ever wondered why some goals feel like a slog while others seem to flow? In this 5-minute quickie, I dive into Neville Goddard’s powerful idea of the feeling of the wish fulfilled—and then I take it further. What if you didn’t just imagine the emotion of achieving your dream… but also stepped into the psychology and physiology of already having it? How would you breathe, walk, talk, and think if your goal was done and dusted? This is more than just motivation—it’s how you train your unconscious mind to notice opportunities, attract success faster, and build unstoppable inner confidence. So if you’re ready to achieve your dreams quicker, richer, and with more certainty—hit play. And if you know someone chasing their goals, share this with them. It might be exactly the nudge they need. 👉 Subscribe, share, and let’s make success contagious. And you can see the video of this episode here Shine Brightly 🌟 Paul Hey there! I’d love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at . Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review . Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit . Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to . Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure. Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on , Castbox, , YouTube, or on our . Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨ Music Credits Music by from , Music by from , Music by from , >, Music by from , Music by from , And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism Hello and welcome back to the five minute quickie. Something to amuse about and this is I think really important but it's so quick because we all, I guess anyway, we all want to achieve our dreams. We have goals that we'd like to succeed in and we'd like to have a life that is something worthwhile, isn't it? And that is made up of lots of mini goals, I guess, things that we'd like to have happen. And there was a guy who called Neville Goddard who spoke and wrote about a thing called the feeling of the wish fulfilled. And if you lived your life with that feeling, the feeling of the wish fulfilled, which in effect is if you can imagine having already got that goal, the thing that you wanted for, the thing you desire, your dream, what would that feel like? And then if you began to work towards that goal with that feeling, the feeling of the wish fulfilled, so as if you've already got it, it would just make it so much easier. And it would, you'd attract it, your unconscious mind would look for all those different things, the reticular activating system and your biological just tends to notice and focus on all the things you want. And it's brilliant. The feeling of the wish fulfilled. I'm going to do a longer podcast on this, but just to muse, what I've been thinking about is how could we make that a little bit richer, richer than the feeling of the wish fulfilled? Absolutely. Because that feeling is wonderful. If you imagine having already got the things that you want, being specific by the way, individually, wouldn't it be good? But hey, when you have that feeling and you can imagine having got your goal, you already know then what would it be like physically? How would you feel physically in your body? The physiology of the wish fulfilled. So not only then would you have the emotion, you'd also have the physiology. But what else? Well, if you think about it, not only the physiology, you'd have the psychology. So you've got the emotion, the feeling of the wish fulfilled. You'd also know the type of things you'd be thinking about, the pictures in your mind, having already got that goal. Now, if you put those three together, the feeling of the wish fulfilled, so you really ramp up that emotion. Then you start to think of the way you'd think having already got that, because now you know you could do it. You've got that confidence, that inner confidence. And then you've got the physiology, the way you'll breathe, the way you'll walk and talk and everything about that. You've got a richness of the feeling of the wish fulfilled, because now you've got it in every modality. So when you think of that goal, you just imagine having already got it, what would it feel like? What would I think? What would I see in the pictures in my mind? How would I talk to myself? And how would I act? And that would be the true, for me, acting as if. Act as if you've already got that dream. And I guarantee you, the old Cloughie guarantee from personal development unplugged, got unplugged. That's when dreams become bigger, better, and you get them quicker. You achieve your goals so much quicker. And they are, I like to use the word richer so much, I don't know why, but it is richer in every way. Richer in experience, you know, is everything just gets better. So have a think, just have a think. If I was to think of a specific goal, a dream that I have, something I want to do, and it could be today or anytime. Just imagine, having already got it, what would it feel like? The feeling of the wish fulfilled. How would I think and talk to myself, my inner voice, the pictures I make in my mind, having already got it? And then how would I move? My physiology, how would I breathe? How would I walk? How would I talk? And then just go with those three wonderful ways of being. I don't know if I made sense in any of that. It's just something I just had to come and talk about. This just came into my mind and I thought, do you know what, I'm going to record this really, really quite quickly. So I hope it made sense. I'm going to use this as a basis for a longer podcast, so we can really get deep into it and then have a process, I think, to get the whole thing together. And we should be good, I think, for everyone, and me included. So I'll be able to do it too. Anyway, if there's anything that you want, as you know, if there's a particular dream and goal you want and you're having problems, just email me, feedback at personaldevelopmentunplugged.com, get it right, Cloughie, and we'll find something for your process or direct you into somewhere of how to get what you need. Okay? Enjoy, because it's time to fly. Oh, by the way, you can share this if you want. Why not share how to get goals, how to get success. Be nice on it to your fellow mates. Time to fly. Bye-bye. So before you leave this unplugged mind of mine, this hypnotic mind, if you enjoyed this podcast or any of the other podcasts, please do subscribe. It helps this podcast grow and affect so many more people. And we love to leave everyone in a better place than we found them. And this will help, help the podcast, it will help you, and it will help, well, everyone that you know. So if you just subscribe and share, share this podcast to everyone you know. That's the only cost. Pay it forward to everyone. And when you do that, boom, we are all going to make a difference to this little old planet earth of ours and the people in it. Let's make a good world, a nice world. Okay. Okay. You can now prepare to leave this unplugged mind. Warning. You are now leaving the unplugged mind of Paul Clough. It's time to fly. Be brave, my friend. Personal development unplugged. Transcribed by . Personal development [self improvement] [self development] [NLP] [Hypnosis]
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#459 Why You Don't Succeed and How To
08/29/2025
#459 Why You Don't Succeed and How To
Why You Don’t Succeed and How To Why do so many people fail to succeed while others break through and create the life they dream of? In this episode of the Personal Development Unplugged Podcast, I dive into four powerful questions that can change how you think about success, failure, and the choices you make every day. Are you just settling? Trying to move mountains? Wishing life was easy? Or constantly struggling? Here’s the thing — success isn’t about either/or. It’s about this AND that. It’s about striving, celebrating the plateaus, reviewing your values, and then springboarding forward with even more clarity and energy. You’ll discover: Why settling keeps you stuck in the “I wish I had” syndrome How moving mountains without balance makes you lose what you value most The secret power of the plateau and why it’s not failure but fuel How to build harmony (not balance) into your journey to success The five keys to success that pull it all together If you’ve ever felt stuck, stalled, or doubted yourself on the way to your goals, this episode is for you. By the end, you’ll know how to pause, review, and reignite your path — and you’ll be ready to step into the top few percent who actually succeed. Listen now, share with a friend who needs this, and let’s make success inevitable. Oh! And if you want to see the video recording as well here's the link Shine Brightly 🌟 Paul Hey there! I’d love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at . Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review . Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit . Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to . Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure. Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on , Castbox, , YouTube, or on our . Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨ Music Credits Music by from , Music by from , Music by from , >, Music by from , Music by from , And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism Good day, good morning, good afternoon, and any of all that stuff. Why don't you achieve success? Do you know what? I'm going to go straight into this with two, three, maybe four questions and see if they resonate with you. Here's the first one. Are you simply just settling for what you have? You know, that settle for what you've got. It's that balance. And you know what I think about balance. It's shit. But never mind. Just see if that sort of resonates with you. Are you just settling for what you have? Or, are you moving mountains to get what you want? Are you moving mountains to get your dreams, your goals? Do you really put every effort in? Do you see every moment of the day what you're looking for, the smell of success, and you're going for it every hour of the day? Now those two questions I heard from a guy called Alex Horowitz. I think that's how you pronounce his name. Superb, lovely guy, lovely guy. Loves his questions and questioning himself and human behaviour. Here's your third question. Similar vein, similar vein. Do you want it easy? Do you want it easy? That's life that is. No stress, no worry, no effort. You're just gonna be happy. This is what life's about. Doing nothing with no stress, no worry, no push, no pull. Imagine what that looks like. You know, dream on. Because that's all you'll be doing. But we'll get into that, we'll get into that. Or, do you want to struggle? Do you want to struggle? Do you want to fight? Do you want to fight for your dreams? Do you want to fight for what you want? What you haven't got yet? What you're going for? Now what does that look like when you're really fighting every moment of the day for what you want in life? Now those two came from Simon Sinek, another great guy. Another guy who poses great questions. And I heard both of those because give credit where it's really due. A guy called Chris from Modern Wisdom, the Modern Wisdom podcast. He has brilliant guests who ask brilliant questions. And they spurred me on because I thought to myself, you know, why don't you achieve success? Because you've got these four different ways. You can simply just settle for what you've got. Or you can move mountains. Or you can just have it easy, set the bar low. Or you can struggle, set the bar really high. The thing is, some may say that you don't even have a choice. But you do. Because you choose from any one of those four, don't you? Because one of those four will probably fit the way you strive to get your goals. Or you strive and don't get your goals. Because if you're just settling, or you just want it easy, dreaming on, it's a bit like The Law of Attraction, The Secret, where people watch that bloody film 100 times and said, I've seen this film so many times, but nothing is happening. Yeah, because you haven't got a few hours. You have to do it as well. But you've got, everyone has a choice. Even though, even if we choose to do nothing, it's a choice. You see, if you're just going to settle for something and want it easy, you would forget that effort reaps its rewards. Until it doesn't. If there's no effort, you ain't going to get any rewards. Unless you're blooming lucky and someone gives you something, and then you don't deserve it really, do you? And the thing is when you put no effort in, you just dream on. Dreaming is good by the way, but just doing nothing towards it. You get that line of boredom, that line of balance of your life, which you know what I think about. And then you get a syndrome. And what's that syndrome, Cluffy? I'm going to bloody tell you what that syndrome is. It is the syndrome of, I'd wish I'd. Oh, if only I'd. Yeah, if only I'd syndrome or I wish I'd syndrome. Because that's when we do, or that's what we do. We look back at what we could have done, what we should have done. And do you know what? All we get is regret, sadness. And then we go, oh, well, you know, it wasn't my fault. The world was against me. And that's bollocks. Excuse me, I just left myself there, but I don't care. But there is a place for it in success. And going for your dreams, really? There's a place for that settling and just dreaming and being at peace and calm. There bloody well is, but I'm not going to tell you just yet. I'm going to tell you in a minute. You see, when we try to move mountains, and you're living in that bloody struggle, and you're putting every bit of effort, every sinew, every bit of energy you have, and you're absolutely knackered, you're tired out, but you still keep striving, you're pushing on, you're pushing on. We talked about this before. Things sometimes work out. And sometimes you get exactly what you want. You got your dream, but you left so many things behind. Other things you valued. Because we talk about, you, we have a clash of values. What we don't consider when we're really pushing for those goals is what we may lose. We think about what we're going to gain. Oh, I'm going to gain this and this and this. But you forget what you may lose, what you are trading off for to get this goal. And that's a question, again, that no one asks until they look back and it's too late. And then you get that bloody syndrome again. What syndrome? I wish I'd, if only I'd. And that's what you think. And neither of those are good. But, but, but, but, but, but, but, here's the but. And there is a but sometimes. What happens is when you plan your goals properly, you strive for them. Yes, you have to move mountains occasionally. You have to put effort in, but you have to check your values. You check, making sure that you're happy with what you're going to lose. Or you mitigate it and you've mitigated it and you get, well, okay, I'm not going to push this hard and that hard, but I'm going to make sure I keep my family in direct. I'm going to get my health going as well. I've got to do this. I've got to get things in harmony. Remember harmony, not balance. They're in harmony, which will create a sort of balance. But inevitably, inevitably, it always happens. You get this sharp rise of success, movement, motivation. I'm really going for it. Things are happening. And then something happens. You think, actually, it's not going as fast as it was. It seems to be standing still. And then you ask the inevitable question, am I going backwards? And you're not, by the way. You think, this is disaster. You think I've failed because I'm no longer moving forward. I'm stuck. I'm here to tell you, you're not. Trust me, you're not because you've come to the inevitable plateau. You see, this is the time to settle. And this is the difference by moving mountains and settling, keeping your energy going. Because what happens is you have to integrate all the things you've learned, the movement you've made, the successes you've got, where you are. And what happens is, it's as if we do stop growing, but the curve is still going up. And then it just stops for a little while. But when you know this is happening, celebrate, celebrate. Why the hell would you celebrate? Because you know, in a very short while, you're going to use this as a springboard and it's going to zoom off again. Because that's what's going to happen. So when you get this inevitable plateau, take some time out, breathe. Maybe think about your dream. Time to review. What have I learned? Look forward to it. And as you review where you've been, how far you've come, how close you are to what you're looking for, have you addressed all those values? Have you mitigated all those clashes of values? Are you sure you've got this harmony going? And then you look towards what you're looking for. Well, that's where you look, but look towards your goal, your dream, your project, whatever you're doing. And you get that picture. You've got the big picture, what gives you that wonderful feeling of the wish fulfilled. And you go, yeah, I'm still here. And you're getting energy now, you're energising yourself. Before you start to move mountains again, and you strive. And it's not a struggle. That's the thing, because you're striving with that feeling of the wish fulfilled, because you're fulfilling a plan now. That big picture, let's say that again, that big picture. But you're looking at the smaller steps with the feeling of the wish fulfilled, the feeling of I've got it already. And this feeling is going to maintain all my energy all the way through. And guess what? There'll be another plateau. And you're going to think, oh, I'm stuck again. But now you know, you can celebrate, sit back just for a moment or two, review, knowing that this is time that your mind, your unconscious mind, your body is just integrating everything that you've done. And the thing about those four questions, think about what I just said, by the way. It's important. Because I'm going to rattle on. But let's go back to those four questions, moving mountains, settling for, do you want to struggle? Would you want it easy? It's not all. They're not this or that. And never ever think of, I have to do this or that. It's this and that. Because this and that makes the whole. One side never does it. There's always two sides to everything. In fact, there's three sides. The other one is the truth. But when you get to that truth bit, you know you're going to be whole. And the thing is about, there's a presupposition NLP. Talked about presuppositions before. What are they? Well, they're just useful assumptions, aren't they? But this useful assumption is, and it's a fucking brilliant one. Every process should produce wholeness. And that wholeness is what brings us satisfaction, brings us joy, brings us bliss, brings us into that ah-ha state. And that's what we're doing here. So it's not this or that. It's this and that and the pause. And all of that, if you notice, is within the five keys to success. I've banged on about that so many times. But the thing is, that's what people forget to tell you. By the way, you can find the five keys to success in about three or four different episodes and hypnosis track. Where do you get that from? ballcluffonline.com.com. All there. The thing is, no one tells you this. No one. But someone told me this. They told me this in my very first training. When I was training to be a master hypnotist. They told me, you're going to learn so much so quickly, and then you're going to plateau. And when you plateau, fucking celebrate. Well, he didn't swear, not like me. But fucking celebrate, knowing that you've got to a point where you're going to suddenly use it as a springboard to move on. So don't stop. Don't even think about giving up. Think about giving more when the time is right. It's time to reassess your goal. Reassess where you are. Review, notice where you're going. What else do you what have you learned? How can you use that learning? Get some bloody decent questions going and think about it. Because the thing is, when you get this into your neurology, I was going to say into your noggin or whatever, but you know, that's condescending. I didn't mean to be like that. What I'm saying is, when we, because I had to get it too, when we get this, and we understand the plateau, and we understand the need for harmony, and we now understand everything about this, it means we are now in the top percentile of success, people who create success, because all the other fuckers, they give up. And we're celebrating, getting ready to go again. So in some ways, old Mr. Cynic and Mr. Horowitz, they were both right, weren't they? But they're both right. But who cares? And I'm really pleased that two men of who I regard as having really good thinking brains, sort of had it. But they spurred me on to think of how you connect it. Because if you just connect that, that pause, that plateau, it's not or, it's and. I hope, because I always hope this, don't I? That I conveyed this in a way that is articulate. Don't think it probably was, but it hopefully was a bit articulate. It was meaningful, understandable, and motivates you to look for that plateau. And keep striving until you get there. And then use it to strive even more. Because you are going to be in that top few percent of people who succeed in life. And you're going to be the example that you can show others that it's all possible. Not giving up, moving on, waiting, reassessing, reviewing, all that stuff. Now, even having said all of that, you may say, hey Cluffy, I understand it. You made perfect sense. You took what these two guys said, and you've put it together in such a wonderful way. But you may think that, or something similar. But then you go, but when I'm on that plateau, I really need some help. I need some help on how to review, how to pause, how to, you know, regroup as it were. Well, if you do, buddy, email me. I've told you so many thousand times before. Please email me, feedback at personaldevelopmentunplugged.com. Very few people do, and you should. Ask me a question. Because the people who have, have always got so much value. They've got answers to the questions. They've got not a person, it was sort of a personal episode, that just doesn't come out with their name on it. But they know that episode was written for them. And everyone else got the benefit of it. And it does me the great thing of making me think that you're doing me a favour. You're doing me a favour. So thanks for that. Anyway, you go get on now. You go strive and think of every time you think, well, it's either this or that. You go, bollocks. Cluffy said it's and. Where's the and in this? And share. And share. Share this episode to everyone you can think of, because they all need to know it, don't they? Have fun. And if you enjoy the video, I would love to know, because it takes a bit of a time to do this, and I'm not very good at it. But if you want more videos like this, as opposed to just the audio, let me know. Thank you so much. Enjoy, because it's time to fly. Transcribed by . Personal development [self improvement] [self development] [NLP] [Hypnosis]
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FMQ 510 Breaking out of the Herd
08/26/2025
FMQ 510 Breaking out of the Herd
Breaking Out of the Herd Are you ready to step out of the herd and be you? In this five-minute quickie, I’m diving into the power of embracing your uniqueness. We all conform at times, but what if living your true self — with kindness, courage, and selfless service — is exactly what the world needs? Inspired by David Goggins’ words, this episode is about breaking free from the mould, shaking off imposter syndrome, and showing up as the uncommon person you really are. Because when you do, you don’t just change yourself… you inspire others to do the same. 👉 Tune in, reflect, and take one small step today to live as your real, authentic self. Please share what you learn and the episode too: Shine Brightly 🌟 Paul Hey there! I’d love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at . Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review . Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit . Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to . Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure. Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on , Castbox, , YouTube, or on our . Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨ Music Credits Music by from , Music by from , Music by from , >, Music by from , Music by from , And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism Hey my friend. A five minute quickie. And it's all about being unique. Because I think you're unique. I know I'm unique. But we're all unique, aren't we? And the thing is, why don't we show our uniqueness? Why don't we express it? Why do we conform? Conform to the normal, whatever the normal is. Conform to, just be the herd. And who wants to be part of the herd? But I think sometimes we are. Now, David Goggins said a wonderful thing. And I made a note of this because it stuck with me. He said, when people don't understand you, you're there. When people don't understand you, you're there. Because that's living an uncommon life amongst uncommon people. Being the uncommon person in a crowd of uncommon people, that's really, really, really unique. And obviously, he is really unique. You know, he's famous. Stay hard, MF. You can make up what the MF. So, in this little few minutes, I want you to consider, consider music, just sitting down, taking a little breath, and considering, are you, well, are you prepared to break out the mould? The mould of where you are now to what you'd like to be, who you'd like to be, who you really are. To express yourself in the way that you dress, the way you speak, not being just outrageous for sake, because that's just being a tit. Excuse me. But it is, isn't it? But being you, expressing the things that you've learned, sharing with people, you know, break out the mould and actually be kind. A lot of people aren't. And also selfless service, you know, doing things without any expectation of return is unique, is special, is out of the mould. Maybe you want to consider that. And probably, there are parts of your life, different contexts where you are, where you are unique, you're being your true self, where people maybe don't quite understand you because you're there. But I want you to consider where you're not. And maybe if you were to be that you, to be a little bit vulnerable, not be whole way, but just a little bit, to have the courage. You see, if you were to be the real you, express yourself, come out of the herd, be that uncommon person, then I think people would look at you and go, I wish. I wish I was brave enough to do that. That's the only reason sometimes they try to pull you back down to a poppy syndrome. Don't leave me behind. I don't want you to succeed because it shows me for what I am. But you can flip that. Because if you can be the change you want to see in yourself, be the real you, you will be the change you want to see in others or others want to see in themselves, because you become that living example, a living example of just being true to ourselves, you know, not being idiots, not being, you know, out there just for out there sake, but being true to ourselves. And especially with that selfless service, especially with that being kind, just being you. So maybe just have a little think. Maybe you're going to do a longer podcast on this. I'm not sure. But I just want you to consider. That's what these musings are about, aren't they? Five minutes to muse about, you know, where am I going with my life? This might be just the one life we have, by the way. So why restrict it into, you know, conforming to a normal, to an average, because, you know, the average is nothing. We want to be on the top side of being our true self. Have a little think, have a look, let me know, let me know what you think. Are you? Because if you're not living that way, and there's a reason for it, you know, you want to, but you find, you know, maybe you're unconfident, or maybe you have anxiety or have stress or you, you have imposter syndrome and all that bloody old stuff. Let me know feedback at personaldevelopmentunplugged.com. Let me know by email, and we'll produce something for you or I'll direct you into a place where to find the right information, but we'll do something for you. So please do that and share this. Let's get everyone being uncommon. Okay? Stay hard. I wish I could do that. Have more fun than you can stand. Live with so much passion that you're happy for no reason. Okay? See you next time, my friend. Transcribed by . [Hypnosis]
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#458 3 New Hypnosis Tracks With My Compliments
08/22/2025
#458 3 New Hypnosis Tracks With My Compliments
3 New Hypnosis Tracks With My Compliments I’ve just re-edited and transformed three of my favourite podcast processes into real hypnosis tracks — multi-layered sessions designed to get deep into your unconscious mind. These tracks include: Making decisions with unconscious clarity Making anxiety your best friend Spinning anxiety away (weird, but it works!) They join nearly 70 free hypnosis audios I’ve created for the Personal Development Unplugged community — all downloadable, no credit cards, no catches. 👉 Get instant access: Inside, you’ll also discover my best tip for using hypnosis effectively: set your intention before you press play — it supercharges results. Share this with friends who could use a little help. Change is quick, easy, and waiting for you. Shine Brightly 🌟 Paul Hey there! I’d love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at . Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review . Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit . Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to . Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure. Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on , Castbox, , YouTube, or on our . Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨ Music Credits Music by from , Music by from , Music by from , Music by from , Music by from , And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism 3 New Hypnosis Tracks With My Compliments Hello my friends. Now, a little while ago I recorded three longer podcast episodes that contained processes. Processes for considering decisions using your unconscious mind but also making anxiety your best friend and also spinning anxiety away which is really weird but it's a lovely process. It just works and I use all these processes with my clients and they just seem to work and what I wanted to do was to re-edit them and put them into real hypnosis tracks. I call them real hypnosis tracks because it's not the relaxer therapy it's the real stuff but I made it slightly different. I've made them multi-layered so you're getting information into different hemispheres, different places, all over the place. My voice comes to you from everywhere and goes in everywhere and it makes such a difference because you can then let yourself go. So what I've done I've done those tracks now and I've now uploaded them to my special place. My special place where I've got nearly 70, probably I have got 70 hypnosis tracks now and they're all complementary. They're free. They're for you. It's my bit of giving back to the world as it were. So if you'd like them and if you're not a member of the podcast community, the Personal Development Unplugged podcast community, then all you have to do is go to pawcluffonline.com forward slash podcast and you'll get a return email from me. There's no credit cards because as I said they're completely complementary and you'll get a link and you press that link and there you're taken to this wonderful website. A wonderful website with say 70 processes with these three included and you can download them because that's why I put them on this separate website. So you can download them. You don't have to worry about them in Wi-Fi cutting out. You can put them from a PC to a phone. You can have them in anywhere. You can even share them but I'd rather you share the link and say go and get your own link. So it's personal pawcluffonline.com forward slash podcast. Share that link with everybody and they can have access to all those wonderful processes because I love hypnosis. I've been doing it for 25 years. I learned initially from a great man called Wilf Proudfoot who was recognized as one of the greatest hypnotist, hypnotherapist around but he kept a very low profile. I didn't know that at the time but I learned from him and then learned from others and me and two of my three sons have continued to develop our own special processes and hypnotic way of putting them together. That's Luke Clough at Cambridge Hypnotherapy and that's Joseph Clough who's got a massive, again a massive set of hypnosis tracks on his app and I think it's called Joseph Clough Hypnosis. But that's his, that's theirs, but mine is pawcluffonline.com forward slash podcast. Go there and they'll say no credit cards and just enjoy. Go down the list and see if there's anything that just jumps out to you because hypnosis is one of the most powerful ways to create change in yourself. But I want to give you a little tip. A little tip. What type of tip is this Cloughie? I'm going to tell you right now because what it is, is don't just press play when it comes to the hypnosis track. Please don't just press play. So many people do that and what happens? Well they get a general result because they haven't set their intention and I want you to set your intention. So whatever track it is, say it was the spinning away anxiety. You say to yourself I'm going to listen to this hypnosis track and we are going to get rid of anxiety. We're going to spin it away because I want to feel and you just say how you want to feel and then press play. It's all about setting your intention. If you want to make that decision and you go to that track, you go well this is the decision I'd like to make. I want to choose between these. I'm a bit undecided. I want to find the answer. Then press play and with all of them. I mean if you go to anybody else's by the way, please just set your intention inside. You can say it out loud. You can say it just in your head. What are you hoping to achieve? What do you expect to achieve? What do you want to achieve? And when you say that, get a little feeling and you even add the words this or something better and then press play. That will make the processes that much better because you're now going to get a specific result because you've set a specific, if I could say it specifically, you've set a specific request to your unconscious mind and it works so much better when you do that. So that's what it's all about. Now here's a question to you. If when you look through that list and you go, do you know what Paul Cuffey? Have you got something for this? Whatever this is. This is my issue. Email me please. Feedback at personaldevelopmentunplugged.com. Now the podcast email, email me that and we'll either find you, direct you to the place or I'll create one for you and it'll go out to everyone too. It'll all be anonymous so you're not going to have your name up there. It's just the issue. So do that for me. Please share this share this little video if you would or share the podcast audio to all your friends because everyone needs a little bit of help sometime. Sometimes we don't think we need it but if we nip any issue in the bud, that's it. You've nipped it in the bud. It's gone. It will finish. You'll have learned from it and therefore you will never need those negative emotions, the limiting beliefs that were contained in it because you've learned from it. It's when you allow it to continue to grow and then it starts to generalize into different areas of your life and that's when you really need then to go to a therapist. You know the type I'm going to say? Someone who's a master hypnotist. Yeah hypnosis. Someone who's a practitioner of NLP and timeline therapy. Get those and you will see results in one, two, three sessions. That's all we ever do. So there you go. I hope this is a little bit of, well it's just me giving back, me giving back and that's what I wanted to do. So until the next proper, I say proper, proper longer episode or the five minute quickie where we get to muse about stuff, until the next time my friend, please go listen and have fun with that hypnosis. It's easy to change. It's quick to change. All you have to do is set your intention. Transcribed by . to remove this message. Personal development [self improvement] [self development] [NLP] [Hypnosis]
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FMQ 509 Restoring Work Life Balance
08/19/2025
FMQ 509 Restoring Work Life Balance
Restoring Work-Life Balance (But I Hate the Word “Balance”!) Work-life balance. Sounds nice, doesn’t it? But let’s be honest — balance is boring! Life isn’t a flat line; it’s ups, downs, twists, and turns. What we really want isn’t balance… it’s harmony. In this quick 5-minute episode, we explore why chasing “balance” often leaves you frustrated and how to create the illusion of balance through harmony. You’ll learn how to spot those niggling “off-kilter” feelings, uncover hidden clashes between your values, and make small, powerful micro-corrections that bring life back into flow. Whether it’s work vs. relationships, health vs. ambition, or just feeling stretched in two directions — I’ll give you the tools to notice, question, and adjust. And the best part? These aren’t big life overhauls — they’re tiny shifts that keep your energy, motivation, and relationships thriving. So if you’ve been feeling pulled in all directions, this episode will help you realign without losing the spark that makes life exciting. 🔗 Listen now, share with someone who needs it, and start living in harmony — not flatline “balance.” Shine Brightly 🌟 Paul Hey there! I’d love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at . Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review . Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit . Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to . Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure. Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on , Castbox, , YouTube, or on our . Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨ Music Credits Music by from , Music by from , Music by from , Music by from , Music by from , And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism Hey my friends, a quick five minute musing about balance. I hate balance. But work-life balance. You know, what does that mean? Work-life balance. You see, life is not a flat line. It doesn't happen that way. It's ups and it's down and it's all over. But it's not a flat line. It's not imbalance. Because balance is boring. It's so boring. Think of just living your life with just a flat line. What would you see? Wouldn't it be grey? I think it'd be grey. In my mind it's grey. I've just been looking out there because I know what's happening next. And you know, I haven't got really many goals because if I have goals I've got to extend myself and push in different directions. You know, if I want to do something this exciting it might challenge me. So that's going to take me off balance. I get that funny feeling that, oh, I don't like that. God, that's not the way to live, is it? That's not the way to live. So what is? What is the way to live? I'm going to tell you. Slow down Cluffy. It's about harmony. And I've talked about this before, but harmony creates the balance that doesn't exist. Which is a weird thing, isn't it? Because I just said it doesn't exist. But it's that harmony that gives the illusion of balance. Because when you need to do one thing it comes along and you spend a little bit more effort there. A little bit more motivation there. And you have to give a little bit. But then you come back and you give a little bit back to that bit and let that other thing go. But you're always living, not on the edge, but sort of on the edge. But you're living towards your goals. Doing things that make your life a zing. Yeah, harmony. Allowing you to do one particular thing and then come back and find something else. And be so interesting and interested in life. That's what it does. And the thing is, you know when this is not happening. Because you feel out of balance. And I keep saying balance doesn't exist. But when you feel a little bit out of kilter. You feel a little bit being pushed and pulled. Maybe that's a better way to explain it. When you're being pushed and pulled in different directions. Or you feel like you are. It's as if there's this blooming old conflict going on. And that's what we call it in this old NLP therapy type world. You've got a conflict. And generally they're conflict of values. I want to do this. But that means I'm going to have to give up a little bit of that. And if I give a little bit of that, it doesn't feel good. But what we don't understand is, as long as we don't go 100 miles to the left and let go of to the right or whichever way you want to put it. But we know we make a decision, a choice, that we're going to put a little bit more effort into this little bit for the moment. But we're going to look after the other bit. So just think, sometimes when you're feeling a little bit off kilter, where am I feeling this? Sometimes you feel it in your body, well you'll feel it in your body anyway. And notice that. We've talked about sitting with your feelings. But also just go below the surface. Is this about my relationships? Is it about my career? Is it the clash between the two? Is it a clash between my health and whatever? Look to see the two things that are rubbing up together and causing this feeling of being out kilter. Because when you do that, and you notice that clash of values, you can do something about it. And when you do something about it, the thing is, don't go mad. Because a lot of people go, oh, I've got to do all of this. So you create the reverse. Another clash of values because you're spending too much time in the other way. No, micro connections, corrections. So again, that was a correction. Micro corrections. Just look at taking action, but action in those small steps. Review, review how you're going. Check inside for those feelings. Does it feel better? Does it feel, yeah, we're going to be a little bit torn to one side, but we know we've made the right decision. And we're going to make amends. We're going to keep an eye. We've only parked ourselves from one side to the other. Because we know by doing a little bit more over here, we'll make life better. But we have to look after the others. We don't ignore them, neglect them. And when you do that, I think your unconscious mind goes, okay, I'm going to give you energy over here. But then we're going to put energy over there. But it's that real noticing, becoming aware. It's an awareness, awareness of that, that funny feeling where things just don't feel quite right. And instead of just pushing through, we just take note. We acknowledge it. And we ask, what is this about? What are the things that I'm pulling away from or pushing towards too much? What could I do? What steps can I do and make the difference? There you go. I hope that's given you something to think about. That's all I want to do here in this five-minute quickie is just to give you an idea of what to become aware of, those niggly feelings, and just to sit with them. Don't ignore them. Don't push them away. Don't just plow ahead and push, you know, push through. Just take a moment or two. It only takes a minute or two when you take a deep breath. And then just ask, you settle in and ask, what's happening here? What do I need to do? What am I doing that if I stopped doing would allow this balance, this harmony to come back into the right kilter? Or what am I not doing if I started doing? Would bring this out of balance back into harmony. When you ask those questions, you just seem to know, you might not get the answer straight away, but you get that feeling of knowing and knowing becomes a behavior. There you go. Play around with that. Have a think. Let me know if there's something that's really grating you though. There is this clash and we'll work something out. Come back to me on personal. No, it's not at all cluffy. It's feedback at personaldevelopmentunplugged.com. Come back to me. Just give me an idea and we'll either point you in the right direction or do an episode. I'm sure we can get an episode. I'm going to try and do a longer pod on this anyway, because I think it's so important. We've done other things on values, but I think it's so important because it just keeps coming up and it affects so many people in our lives, not just ourselves. But it's that important to do take a bit of time, get that feeling of amused and just notice what happens. Let me know. And please share this podcast if you because we all have these little moments of uncertainty and just a little bit of advice. A little bit of doing something slightly different, acknowledging things and asking the right questions can change your life completely and keeps relationships where they should be. Keeps the work life balance, whatever that bloody thing is, in harm. So until the next time, my friend, I will see you on the longer podcast or the five minute quickie. Have fun. Bye bye. So many more people and we love to leave everyone in a better place than we found them. And this will help help the podcast. It will help you and it will help everyone that you know. So if you just subscribe and share, share this podcast to everyone you really well know. That's the only cost. Pay it forward to everyone. And when you do that, boom, we are all going to make a difference to this little old planet Earth of ours and the people in it. Let's make a good world, a nice world. Okay. Okay. You can now prepare to leave this unplugged mind. Warning. You are now leaving the unplugged mind of Paul Clough. It's time to fly. Be brave, my friend. Personal development unplugged. Transcribed by . to remove this message. Personal development [self improvement] [self development] [NLP] [Hypnosis]
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#457 But I Can't Afford A Therapist
08/15/2025
#457 But I Can't Afford A Therapist
But I Can't Afford A Therapist 💥 “I can’t afford therapy…” Sound familiar? You're not alone. And you're not stuck. In this longer unplugged episode, we tackle one of the most common barriers to better mental health: not being able to access or afford professional support. 🎙️ But what if that didn’t have to stop you? This is not about ignoring the problem or playing it down. It's about taking back control—step by step—and discovering powerful, proven ways to feel better, move forward, and heal… without spending a penny. You’ll learn: Why feeling stuck is natural—but change is possible The real damage of waiting, blaming, and self-berating (and how to stop) A DIY approach to emotional healing that’s empowering, practical and free How to journal your way from confusion to clarity The one question you must stop asking—and the one that will change everything Why walking and breathing (yes, really!) can shift your whole internal world How to create your own step-by-step roadmap from where you are to where you want to be And access to my free hypnosis tracks to support your journey 💬 Plus: Why giving up is not an option, and how to feel safe, steady and hopeful—even when life feels heavy. This isn’t fluff. It’s action. It’s simple because it works. And it’s here for you right now. 🎧 Listen, share, and let’s start a movement of healing—together. Shine Brightly 🌟 Paul Hey there! I’d love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at . Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review . Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit . Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to . Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure. Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on , Castbox, , YouTube, or on our . Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨ Music Credits Music by Wataboi, DreamHeaven, ccjmusic, and others from . And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism #457 But I Can't Afford A Therapist Hey, back to the longer podcast with me Paul. Personal development unplugged. And I've been hearing quite a few things about people getting anxious because they can't get access to professional support for their mental health. You know, they're not feeling in a good state and not being able to get access to someone who can help them actually is creating more anxiety, more stress. And therefore obviously that state gets worse, health gets worse and everything just goes tits up basically. So what do you do? What do you do when you can't get any access to that professional support? What do you do? What do you do where you could blame everything else? Everyone else? Because the world is unfair. Because it is unfair, it's totally unfair. You know, it's not, well, it's just unfair. Or you could have a pity party, which is a bit like blaming the world, isn't it? And just have a pity party by yourself. You could do. Or you could just hide away. Hide away, not let anybody see that you're down and hide away. You can hide away in plain sight, by the way, because you can put your defences up. Or you could show everybody, you know, and look for pity, maybe. You can also talk down to yourself, because talking down to yourself and berating yourself, well, that's what we do, isn't it? Or you ask yourself some really stupid questions. Things like, why is this happening to me? Why is this happening to me? Who the fuck cares why? You don't need to know why. If you knew why, would it change the situation? Not one bit. What's another stupid question? Well, how bad can this get? Or could this get any worse? Really stupid fucking questions. Why are they stupid? I'm sorry about swearing, but I just wanted to rock your boat a little bit, because those questions, you're asking your unconscious mind, because it's listening to what you say, whether it's outside or generally we do it on that with our internal voice, it's constantly listening to what you say. And we'll try to answer the questions. So if you ask, how bad can this get? Or can this get? How worse will it get? Could it be? Your unconscious mind will make up pictures in your mind of how things could be so disastrous, traumatic. You know, all totally understandable, by the way, all totally understandable, but yet they don't do a fucking thing. It makes things worse, all natural, all natural. But so is the answer. You see, I'm going to ask you a question. How's all that working for you when you do that? How's it working for you? I'll tell you how it's working for you. It's not working at all, not at all. You know, all that talking, wallowing, those questions, your unconscious mind is just going to go into overdrive to try to answer you, and find answers that fit. And it just doesn't work, does it? So I'm pleased now that I've made you feel so much better. Or could I made you feel any worse? Because dying like that will only get worse, by the way. And again, that's what we do, because we sort of give up hope a little bit. Because I can't get, I want to keep going in my, these old quotation marks, professional help. Because there's all sorts of professional help. And some are really good. And some will maybe drag things out for me too long. I hear people being years in therapy. I asked myself, why would you spend years in therapy when you can change pretty quickly? Now, let's consider professional help. Now, you know what I think about professional help? Professional help for me would be going to see a hypnotherapist who's a master hypnotist. Absolutely brilliant at hypnosis. Being able to talk to your unconscious mind and guide it into finding new ways. An NLP, I say that again, an NLP practitioner as well. If you get a master practitioner, good, but a practitioner of NLP, who's practiced NLP, who loves NLP, puts it with hypnosis. Oh my, you are going to get something good. And then add to that timeline therapist. You have got, for me, the three cores of therapy that create instant change, or virtually instant change. Now you could say, well, I can't afford it. But think about this. Some of us can afford it. Can be, you know, but if you think about three sessions, what would happen if you just saved up for three sessions? Do your best if you could. And there's this one option, by the way, not the only option. I'm just considering how you could try to get a therapist. So you find a gets things done quickly. And then you ask them, you know, how much and all this stuff, and then you save up for it. Because you want to keep it pretty, pretty tight. You don't want one a month. Because in that month in between things come back and bite you on the bum. You want it done quickly, get the momentum going. Now you can ask, do you do concessionary rates? Because I honestly can't afford it. And if you honestly can't afford it, most therapists that I know of will go, I can help your will. And maybe you can repay that, because you've got a skill that they don't have. Even if it's only cutting the grass, cleaning the windows, you know, doing something, maybe you're good at websites, you know, or internet, things like that will just, you know, you barter. So if you just look at your options, find a good therapist, look at your options. But what if you can't do that? That's the question, isn't it? I honestly cannot do that. I have no money whatsoever. Okay, I've got no money whatsoever. So what are we going to do? Give up? No. Well, I'm just saying that, again, just to shake you up a little bit. Because who would suggest giving up? You might feel like giving up. But no, that's not an option. Giving up is not an option. Because there's loads that we can do. There is, you can do things for yourself. Because that's what a therapist is really doing, is helping you heal yourself. That's all they're doing. They just know some processes. And you can get not lazy, but you can get them to do it with you. It's not a do-to. Because if you think it's a do-to, you ain't going to get the result. It's a do-with. You work with your therapist. So what are these loads of things you can do? By yourself, with yourself. And the thing is, when you do that, you do start, guess what? You feel empowered. Once you just start on the road, even though you might not know exactly where you're going, I'm going to help you with that, you will start to feel empowered because you're taking action. Inspired action. You know, those five keys to success. That's one of the things you could look at. Five keys to success. And then put your issue into that five keys to success with what I'm going to tell you now. See, here's the very first thing. And you're going to be shocked. You really will be shocked. Because the very first thing is, bugger off out for a walk. That's it. Just get outside. Every bloody day. Get outside. Whether you walk, whether you jog, whether you run. You just go outside. Walking is excellent. Just walk at a little pace. Get the heart pumping. Just walk. And not, yeah, I can't walk very far, Paul. Great. Don't walk very far. And then tomorrow, walk a little bit farther. And then the next day, walk a little bit farther. You know, 10 yards further every day. You'll get there. And when you're walking, sometimes you can just stop. And guess what? Bloody breathe. I said, just breathe for a moment or two, and then walk. Carry on walking. Look for the beauty while you're walking. Because there's so many wondrous things you can see. Look up into the rooftop. You'll see different architecture. You'll see different things in buildings. If you're outside, you'll see the trees. Like me, I've got a clifftop. I can see the sea, but all other things. You have to do it though. It's so simple. And the reason it's simple is because it just bloody works. And it works because it's so bloody simple. All you have to do is do it. And to do it, you have to do it by, you know, put it in your diary every day. Mark off when you're going to go for a walk and stick to it. Unless anything really dramatic, traumatic takes you away. And then you reschedule for that day. Get some movement in your body. Breathe outside. Oh, but it's raining. It's cold. I don't care. Wrap up. Walk. And I want you to get a little, whether it's one of those big diaries with squares of every day, or whether you make up a little thing with one to 31 and they're little squares. And at the top of those squares, it's my walking. And every day you put a cross or a tick and you keep that going. You do not let that chain break because it's only bloody walking, but you'll be amazed what happens when you walk. One is obviously you're breathing, you're doing, your body's getting better, some endorphins or whatever chemicals happen makes you feel good. But also it clears your mind to think of new things. And what about those things? What about those things? Well, here's the things I want you to do in between your walking. And it is writing it down. And you might go, Oh, Paul, not writing it down. Look, do you want to get better or not? Do you want to get more into life or not? Because if you do, you have to put some effort in. And writing is not effort. And if you don't type it, if you can help it, please don't type it. Write them down because I want you to feel it in your fingers. Let the words come through that pen, through your muscle. And the first thing I want you to do is write out how you feel right now. And I don't want, Oh, I'm feeling down. I'm feeling depressed because you're not depressed unless you are depressed by the way. But that's so vague. And it's probably untrue. You're not depressed. You might be just sad. You might be feeling a little guilty. You might be feeling a little frustrated. You might be feeling a little bit lonely. But go through those emotions. Try to go below that, you know, I'm feeling depressed. Well, what about my depression? And it's not depression maybe. But let's say it's not depression. Let's look for the things. Well, actually, you know, it's down. And my down feeling is, well, it's not in every context, is it? You know, when you're asleep, you're probably not down. You know, when you have your breakfast, you might be, you might not be. What are the contexts in which you feel these feelings? And they may change from context to context. Now, I feel unconfident in this context. What about unconfidence? What is it? Well, it's an anxiety about. Try to find the little abouts. So when that person looks at me, well, you know, it's only that one person at work that gives me that anxiety. But that's creating that anxiety about the whole day at work. Now I've got specific. It's only that sod over there. Okay, that's what we do. Write them down. And keep those contexts nice and clear. Because if you keep them clear, you'll know exactly when, where and how you do what you're doing now. Because you have to know what, how you feel. And you know that because you know that because you're feeling it right now, you're doing this. And this all is behavior, by the way, you are doing these behaviors. And can you change your behavior in a bloody instant? So write them down. And then I want you to do the reverse. How do you want to feel? I want to feel happy. No, you don't. Happy is so bloody. Well, for a start, it's so general, too big. And it's not gonna be in every context. Because, you know, being happy in every context is not the right thing. You know, if we're going to a funeral, we don't want to seem happy. You're happy we had those people in our lives. But you know, it's not a sad, a sad occasion, rightfully so. It's appropriate. So I want you to be again, as specific, you know, there's times when I want to be enthused. There's times when I want to feel motivated. There's times when I feel connected. And what about that connection? What about that motivation? Well, exactly about what? What will it give me? Go into the specifics and develop the richness of what you want in all its lovely layers. Because the thing is, when you write the things out what you want, guess what? You have to feel them. And the other thing about them is you've had to have felt them before. Because if you didn't know what they were, you wouldn't be able to say how you want to feel. So if you felt them before, we can feel them again. That's it. Because they're behaviours. And that's what we do. Now you see, the next bit is seeing the difference between how you feel now, and how you want to feel. And what I want you to do is, like, on a piece of paper, you write down, here's that little bit I'm feeling in that particular context, and here's how I want to feel in that context. And in between, we're going to put, I don't know, four, maybe four or five boxes, little marks, gaps, something you write a little bit in. Because each one is a step. Because going from how you feel now to how you want to feel is a bloody great big step. Too big to do in one go. But if you're feeling sad, say, well, maybe you could go from sad to bored. Not a big jump, is it? And bored's a lot better than feeling sad. So I'm going to bored. And what comes after boredom? Well, boredom, I could be, I don't know, or just that little bit, little bit more excited, just a little excited, not a lot, but just a little bit. So that's the next one. And you work out those intermediate steps. Because now you have got a way, a path to go from how you're feeling now, to how you want to feel. And you see, you go for each one. And it doesn't really matter how long it's going to take. It's not going to take very long because you can change from feeling the way you feel now to, say, being bored. How do you do that? Think of a time when you were bored. If we take bored for the example, think of a time when you felt bored before in the past. Go back in your mind, see what you saw, hear what you heard, be there in that memory and feel bored. Oh, bloody hell, is it that easy? Yeah, feel that bored, that boredom and start, open your eyes and start being bored. You know, being bored with the way you used to feel is a good place to start. I'm just bored. And then as you get used to feeling bored for a little while, think of the next one. Think of a time when you had it. Think of one specific, there will be specific times, by the way, in the past, not general, specific time in the past. Go back to that specific time again in your mind. Remember, it doesn't have to be 2020 vision. Just remember it. Just an awareness will do. Go back into that time. See what you saw, hear what you heard and feel the bloody feelings. And as you feel those feelings, open your eyes and start living those feelings. Act as if you have those feelings now. Act as if part of the five keys to success. Yeah. And that's what we're going to do. And what you're going to do, because you've got this plan, you're going to schedule it, even if it's one day at a time in between your walking. So today I'm going to feel the way I feel. Tomorrow I'm going to feel bored. And the day after that, I'm going to feel a little excited. The next day after that, I'm going to feel enthused. The next day after that, I'm going to get some energy. That's what you're going to do. And you schedule it out and you bloody do it. And I know you're going to say, oh Paul, that's so bloody simple to think about. It is. And the reason it's simple is because it works. And the reason it works is because it's simple. And we haven't worried about the why. Why all this is happening. No, we're going to say, this is what I want. And the thing is, more you think about what you want, guess what happens? You could ask those questions. What would it be like to feel that way? What would life be like when I get to feel the way I want? They're the questions you're going to, you know, how could, how good could this get? The opposite to all of those negative questions. And get your unconscious mind going in and finding those things of how good it could be. It will find opportunities for you to be there. And especially when you keep bloody walking up, because you don't stop. Keep moving, because what you'll find is as you're moving and you're walking and seeing the beauty of the world, you stop to breathe. You can go and think about the way you want to feel the end result, because that's the feeling of the wish fulfilled. So you just go into that feeling and feel it. Really feel it. Yes, I've said it's a big jump, but we're just feeling it now....
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FMQ 508 An Important Question Why and How Often do you check your progress
08/12/2025
FMQ 508 An Important Question Why and How Often do you check your progress
In this short yet powerful Five-Minute Quickie episode, we're diving into a question that could seriously supercharge your personal development journey: "How often do you check your progress—and why?" Cloughie explores the sweet spot between over-checking (hello, obsession and lost motivation!) and under-checking (hello, complacency and drifting off-course). Whether it's your personal goals, weight, mindset, career, or even podcast stats, finding your ideal review rhythm is the key to staying on track, boosting motivation, and making real progress. You’ll learn: Why too much checking can destroy momentum Why not checking enough can cost you time and energy The hidden fears behind your review habits (fear of failure or fear of success?) A simple mindset shift to help you course-correct without self-judgment How to schedule reviews that actually work for you 👉 This is your wake-up call to review with intention, stay aligned with your goals, and grow with purpose. Please share: Got a fear of failure or success story to share? Want help turning it around? Email me at: And remember, this is all about learning to use your skills, energy, and focus to move forward with confidence. Oh! And the video link is here: h Shine Brightly 🌟 Paul Hey there! I’d love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at . Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review . Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit . Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to . Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure. Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on , Castbox, , YouTube, or on our . Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨ Music Credits Music by Wataboi, DreamHeaven, ccjmusic, and others from . And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism Hey, 5 Minute Muse and I've got a question for you. I always ask, when we're setting our goals, we're thinking of our week, setting out our day. I always ask, how often do you review? Or do you review? Do you review what you've done? How far you've come? But I want to take this 5 Minute Muse just a little bit deeper. Just something to think about. Because I'm sure you do. I'm sure you do review. Do you? I'm sorry about that. But think about it. Do you check and review your progress? Daily? Weekly? Monthly? Quarterly? Yearly? Maybe never. You see, and it depends what it is, obviously. Could be a project. It could be your weight. It could be, if you do a podcast or a video and all this stuff. You know, how many likes, how many downloads, whatever it is. We set our targets, how close we are to the goal. Or we have a goal, we have targets and the review is where are we? Where are we from where we were to where we're going? Let's just take a snapshot so we know what we're doing. Now, if you do it too often, say you did it daily. Some people, when they're checking things like likes, downloads, might do it hourly. What a waste of time. It might not be a waste of time. That's me. But it is a waste of time. You see, if you're checking things too often, then you become obsessed. It's like OCD. You become obsessed by just looking and looking and looking. But what you're doing, you're looking, but you're not doing anything about it anyway. And you're not seeing results because you can't see results in a little snapshot. Because when you were there, now you're here and no time has passed. You haven't been able to see the progress. And what happens when you can't see progress? Oh, my motivation goes down. Oh, I'm going to have to keep checking. But I'm still not doing it. What I'm not doing, I'm not even doing anymore because my motivation has really dropped. Because it's just too much. You're wasting time. You're wasting effort. Because what you're checking for, your progress, you're not seeing anyway. But what about when you check too little? Say it was monthly, quarterly, yearly, maybe never. But you do, you go back and go, okay, it's been five or six weeks. Let me just have a check on that thing. And it could be your weight, your health, could be your downloads, could be your likes. It could be where you are in a project. Could be in your profit and loss. That's a big one. You look at your profit and loss or something like that, but you haven't done it for maybe six weeks. And you look at it and you go, oh, shit. I'm off course. I thought I was doing so much better because I just thought I was. I was doing, well, I thought I was doing the right things. Was I? Well, maybe not. Maybe you were. But the thing is, if you're off course, how do you get back on course? Well, you could try, but you've wasted time because you got bloody complacent. That's what happens. You get complacent. And when you get complacent because you forgot your goal, you forgot where you were headed, you forgot your aim, and therefore you didn't put in the right effort. Because you can put in effort. You can do all the urgent stuff. But were you doing the important stuff? You thought you were by doing all the urgent stuff. But you're off bloody target. And when you're off target by 1%, you get that over six weeks. Shit, you're a long way out. And then you've got to try to come a long way back. And then again, we lose motivation because we've got, oh, this is difficult. This is hard. And then we start berating ourselves. What a dick I was. Why didn't I do it more? Now, these are things that happen. But one question I think we could ask ourselves, and this is where the muse comes in. This is where the muse comes in. What the fuck are you frightened about? Is it that success? Or is it that failure? Just think, what am I frightened about? Why am I checking too much? Or why aren't I checking? I know people are checking because they don't want to see failure. Because they think they've got a success. I see people check so often because they're really frightened of not being a success. And what's that fear doing to you? Wasting time, wasting effort. And it's really about, what do I want? Where am I headed? What's my next step? What's my smallest step I can do? And how can I realistically check my progress? Sometimes you have to do it at the end of the day. Did I get as far as I wanted? Because maybe you just wasted the bloody day. And you have to get back on target tonight. Important. Maybe it's a project where you have to leave it to the end of the week. And then you reassess. I know when I used to be in business, we used to have an assessment on a Thursday. Not the Friday, Friday afternoon. Because it's too bloody late to finish off the week with a high. But if you checked on the Thursday morning, where were we? Did we get everything we want to do? No, we didn't. Got to do it tonight and tomorrow because I want to get back on target. It's a little thing to do. But maybe you look at these steps you're taking, your milestones. And start to get ready, do the best checks you can. And once you do that, you schedule them in. You check your progress in the most appropriate time. And then you can make the changes you need to get better. I hope that helps. But it is an interesting question, isn't it? What are you frightened of? Success or failure? Get that batted out the door. Once you understand that, you can work on it. And if you want, I'll even do this on a longer podcast. Fear of success, fear of failure. But if it is something like that, send me an email. It's feedback, that's what it is. It's feedback at personaldevelopmentunplugged.com. Give me a little bit of the scenario, the things that you're frightened of. And let's see if we can come up with a real good process to get your unconscious mind to make more appropriate steps. So you use your skills, your energy in the right direction, which creates more confidence in your competence, because you are competent and your motivation goes out the route in such a brilliant way. Have a think. This was a five-minute quickie, taking about eight minutes. But hey, have fun. Share this bloody thing as far as you can, if you would. And subscribe, follow, do whatever. I'll see you next time. It's time to fly. Warning, you are now leaving the unplugged mind of Paul Clough. It's time to fly now. Be brave, my friend. Personal Development Unplugged. Transcribed by . to remove this message. Personal development [self improvement] [self development] [NLP] [Hypnosis]
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#456 The Alternative To Anxiety and Worry
08/08/2025
#456 The Alternative To Anxiety and Worry
The Alternative To Anxiety and Worry An empowering deep dive into how you can take control of anxiety and worry — and replace them with clarity, calm, and confidence. An empowering deep dive into how you can take control of anxiety and worry — and replace them with clarity, calm, and confidence. In this episode, Paul Clough (yes, me!) shares personal experiences and tried-and-tested NLP and hypnosis-based techniques to help you break the cycle of anxious thoughts, worry loops, and emotional overwhelm. Discover how to: Dissociate from unhelpful feelings, thoughts, and mental movies Rewire your internal voice to one of calm, strength, and clarity Use simple yet powerful visualisation and anchoring techniques Access the emotional states that truly support you Stop rehearsing failure and instead direct your own movie of success Prepare for real-life situations with ease and confidence You’ll learn how your unconscious mind can work with you rather than against you, so you’re no longer hijacked by imaginary fears or future catastrophes that never even happen. 💡 This isn’t theory — it’s a hands-on process you can do as you listen. So grab a notebook or just settle in with your headphones and let’s stop anxiety in its tracks. Because there is an alternative… and it starts right here. 🎧 Listen now — and please share this episode with someone who needs it. 👉 Also available as a full video on Shine Brightly 🌟 Paul Hey there! I’d love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at . Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review . Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit . Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to . Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure. Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on , Castbox, , YouTube, or on our . Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨ Music Credits Music by Wataboi, DreamHeaven, ccjmusic, and others from . And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism #456 The Alternative To Anxiety and Worry An alternative to anxiety and worry. What a great title, isn't it? Great title. Well, it is Cloughie. I can back it up, I assure you. But first of all, let's just think for a minute. And this will probably be a little bit of me. And let's see how it matches with your experience. How do we experience anxiety, worry? Well, for me, when something happens like that, I get a weird feeling in my tummy. It's really quite low in my tummy. And it's not really the most pleasant of feelings. But, hey, that's what it is. I might get butterflies. And it's more than butterflies. It's more intense, because it's like having ten times more butterflies than butterflies. So, that's the feeling I get. You know, I could get sometimes, when it's not good, I've had like a dread. Some might say deep dread, but I don't know quite how deep a deep dread goes. But it was something I dreaded. You know, because it's worry. Something, I can remember a particular thing, it really did worry. And I couldn't understand why, but that's what was happening. And when I thought about it, that was my heart. You know, it wasn't going into palpitations, but it was quickening. And it made everything so intense. And do you know what the weird thing is? The bloody thing wasn't even happening in real life. The thing I'm thinking about now, I was in another bloody country. To the thing I was worried about. Yet, the feelings were, they were shit. And they were continuous. That wasn't good. And why? Why did it feel that way? Because I was fully associated into that issue. It wasn't happening. It wasn't going to happen, even if it was going to happen. It was going to happen for a few weeks, because I was out of the country for a few weeks. But I was still fully associated into that issue. And that's a little bit of the problem. But we'll go into that deeper. So, let's think. What else? What else do we get? Because we've got the feelings. What else do we get? For me, and see if this resonates with you. Because it might resonate, because it's a sound. A bloody never-ending conversation. It was if. Everything just got round and round and round. Never bloody stopped. And the conversations got worse. And it didn't help the feelings, by the way. But just when I concentrated, and I'm trying to concentrate now on how those words went around. They were getting, I wouldn't call it sinister. But there was things I would never ever do or never ever say. But in my head, that's what I was doing. And the thing about it is, that's where they are. You weren't having a conversation, or I'm not. I wasn't having a conversation with anybody. No one there. It was just me. It's in my head. And the thing about being in your head, do you know what? That's it. It's just you in your head. Guess what? You are producing it. Because it's just internal. And again, what's happening? Because that wasn't happening. But it sounds like it's happening because you are fully associated into that dialogue. Fully associated into the feeling. Can you get where I'm going here? Fully associated. What else? What else can happen? And again, this is my experience. Maybe you see it all happening. Like a loop. And what tends to happen is, you get the video. The movie in your mind. And it sets off and triggers off. Obviously, the sounds. But then, the feelings. Because you're in the video. You're in the movie. You're making up a bloody memory, which hasn't even started. And it just gets worse. And the more it goes... I found... Well, I did stop it. I did stop it because I had the ways of stopping it. And then I'm going to go through them. And the thing is, without that, it would have got worse and worse and worse. All in my head. All in my head. And I was choosing to do it. And that's the thing that's hard to accept. Choosing to do it. Because people say, well, I didn't choose to do it. It just happens. No. Could you choose to do something different? Well, you could if you did. But let's think about this. You see, I tend to find that you get one of these things and it triggers the feeling. Maybe trigger off the movie. Or the movie then triggers off the voice. Or the voice triggers off the feeling in the movie. They're just all going on at the same time. So we tend to get all three at once. So, what is the alternative? What is the alternative to this? And you're not going to believe it, but it's pretty, pretty simple. Pretty simple. Here's what we're going to do. We need to dissociate. What does that mean? It means get a distance. Get a distance from things. I'll give you a little example. And the little example is this. Imagine that you are, imagine you're on a roller coaster. And you're on the roller coaster now. And what happens is you're going up that slope and you know you're in there. And as you look over the hill, as you go down, whoa! You feel it all again, don't you? But imagine it, the same scene. And you're watching yourself. Over there, you're going up, up, up. And you're watching yourself. Yeah, you watch yourself being frightened. But as you watch yourself, I'm not frightened watching myself. Because I can see it, but I'm dissociated. And when I'm dissociated, I don't get the feelings. And if I do, I can do something about that too. It's called double dissociation. We might even do that. We'll go through it anyway. But we're going to do this. Because when you dissociate from those type of emotional events that are in your head, then we can start to work with them. And change them. That's it. Because they're not happening, therefore you're in control. And all we need is a little bit of distance. So, are you ready to play? Will you play with me? Because if you play with me, we can do something. I've got to do that. There we go. So, what are we going to do? I'm going to do these one at a time. One at a time, and then we'll just go on. Because then we're going to put them all together. So, let's do them individually. Let's take that feeling. Now, think of that feeling. You see, what we do is we always set an intention. Always set an intention by acknowledging the feeling. It's here. We're not accepting it. I keep talking about this over and over again. We're not accepting it as being okay. We're just acknowledging. Yeah, I've got this feeling. Because it's true. It's happening in my body. I'm choosing to let it happen. And my intention is to find a better way. Because we know the positive intention of having this worry, having this anxiety, is to prepare us for a particular event. That's all it is. But it's overwhelming. Because when I get worried and anxiety, I cannot prepare. And because I'm not preparing, because I can't prepare, because I'm getting overwhelmed, that's why it does it even more intensely. Because it says, you're not preparing. Look, look how bad it could be. And I'm still not. I'm overwhelmed. Look, oh no, no, you've got to do it even worse. Make it even worse. To make you get off your ass, get on and do something. But let's just rewind that for a minute. I acknowledge the feeling. My intention is, I just say to myself, do you know what? I just want to understand and find a better way. I understand the intention to protect me, to get me to do stuff. But it's not working. I wonder if there's a better way. And with that, I put my hand on that feeling, where it is in my body, roughly. Put my mind into it. And we've talked about this before in noticing various things about it. Maybe the colour, the weight, the shape. It was all in the last longer podcast. But as you put your hand on it, physically, draw it out. Imagine you get hold of it in your hand and pull it out. And as it's out there in your hand, just pull it outside. Even just doing that to dissociate yourself from it. The feeling will subside. Because it's over here. You've got it in your hand. Now, you could throw it away. But if you did, it would probably come back. Because you haven't done anything with it. But when we pull it outside, we can go, okay, I could push it further away to give me a bit more space. I'm now more dissociated. But with this space, what I'm going to do with this space, well, I'm going to think, what would be a better emotion to have? Now, some may say, well, I want total confidence. Well, no, that's a bloody great big jump from feeling shit scared to I want super confidence. It's too big a jump. You can't do that. Well, maybe you could. That's too general. But generally, it's too big a jump. So you think of, well, if I could just make it a little bit better, I would make it a neutral feeling. Just neutral. So it's not positive. It's not negative. It's neutral. So what would a neutral feeling? And just think back to a time in your life when you just had a neutral feeling. Oh, I can think about it now. What does neutral feel like? Well, it feels just like this. And feel it. Because when you feel it, you've got it. You've chosen to feel this. And then you feel, well, now I'm neutral. I can move it a little bit more. Because I think neutral is okay. But maybe I just want a calm experience. A calm feeling. So I can deal. So then when I'm calm, I can see options. When I'm calm, I can see what I need to do. When I'm calm, I can prepare. Oh, isn't that what my unconscious mind was trying to make me do? Prepare? Yeah. So imagine now, from neutral, holding it in your hand. Neutral. Now change it to think of a time when you've been calm. And this is where we really think about it. Think of a time when you've been calm. Or you fill in the blank what you believe would be the most appropriate motion to have for your issue, your event you're looking at. And if it's calm, I'd go, okay, let me think of a specific time. Not generally, just a specific time when I was just calm. And go back in my mind. Go back there now to that memory. Go into that memory again. Go into me in that memory again. I'll see what I saw back then. Hear what I heard back then. And feel the feelings of calm. Wow. Wow, I can feel calm now. I can feel where calm is in my body. I can feel what calm does to my breathing. I can feel what calm does to my heart. I can just feel... And I tend to get a little bit more confident then. Not super confident, not ever so confident, but I just feel a little bit more confident in myself. Because I'm now starting to touch my core. And when I do that, I've got calm now. And I pull that back into where calm should be. Where it is. Wow. That would be better, wouldn't it? And you could do this for a couple of times. For a couple of times? You could do it a couple of times. Just to reinforce it, just to stack it. Think of another time when you were calm. Oh yeah, yeah, pull that one in. Think of another time. Go there, feel it, see it, hear it. Bring it back in. And just notice how much better this would be. To have this feeling instead of that old feeling. The one you've left out there, by the way. Because you brought in calm. You left the other one out there. Now, because this is better. Your pulse has changed. Your breathing has changed. You can see the world clearer. Yeah. Just say to your unconscious mind this or something. Better. It's a lovely little saying. And I believe your unconscious mind has to pick a better way. If you found a better way, and you have now chosen a better way, and you've also said to your unconscious mind, can you find a better way? This or something better? Okay. Then we go to the voices. Do you remember those voices? Yeah, that, going in your mind. What can you do with that to get a little further distance? Well, to get distance, when voices are at distance, what happens to them? The volumes change. So reduce the volume. Imagine you've got a volume control, and you just turn down the volume of the voice, so it goes quieter and quieter. Yeah. So you see, in effect, you're pushing it away. Maybe just change the pitch a little bit. So it goes into a silly little voice, or a sexy little voice. And I don't know why I think that's sexy, because I know it isn't. But you know what I mean. You can change the speed of it. You can make it into a stutter. Make it into a cartoon type stutter. And when you've pushed it away, reduced the volume, changed the pitch, give it that jiggity-jaggity, jiggity-jaggity. It's like having a CD player. Remember the old CDs? If you scratch it enough times, it won't bloody play. And now you're going to associate to that. But think, what would be a better way? Just think what would be better. Well, I don't want that voice. I want to be able to think clearly, with my own voice. I don't want to have... So what is my own voice when I'm thinking calmly? Remember that feeling? What is my voice when I'm speaking calmly? Ah. That feels... I can think better when I'm thinking with this voice, and not that other shitty voice over there, that I've now pushed over there. Turn it right down. Because after a while, you can turn it right down to zero. Now it's quiet. So here's the thing. Now the video. Now the video. Now, we said we want distance, dissociation. What about double dissociation? What about double dissociation? Well, you could do this, if you want to. What you do, is imagine, a movie screen. Because you're going to put, that movie, or a movie, of what you're playing. But imagine it this way. We're going to push the movie screen further away. But imagine seeing, another you in front of yourself, watching that screen. So you're watching that you, watching the screen. Whoa. Because you see, when you play that old video, it used to trigger the voices, because it had sound. It used to trigger then, the feelings. But if it's double dissociated, it's like that roller coaster, watching yourself, watching the roller coaster. There is no feelings at all. And just imagine, just for a moment or two, that you over there, watching that movie, that you've been playing forever, and notice, that it's a load of old bollocks. Or, what it can learn from those. It can learn, get that you out there to learn, that it's not going to happen that way, because you're going to change it. You don't allow it to happen that way, because it's not constructive. It's not appropriate. So you push that movie screen away. And you make it smaller. Because what happens when it goes smaller, it goes darker. When we said, when it goes further away, what happens to the sound? It diminishes. And if you keep pushing it further away, it gets smaller and darker, and quieter. And you keep pushing it away, and pushing it away, and you can push it away, till it disappears. And when it disappears, you've got a fresh start. Now the fresh start, what do we do with a fresh start? We now have a separate screen, right in front of you. And you are the director of that movie. Yeah, you're the director, because you are now in charge. You're still dissociated, but you are the director. So imagine this film of yours. It's like the movie of your life. My son does a lovely process called, you are the movie star, or movie star of your life. Catch it with josephclough.com But now you know what feeling you want. I want you to imagine, how you'd like it to be. How would you like this event to be, if it ever happens? I'll tell you what happened to mine in a minute. Because I changed the movies, I changed the sound, I did exactly what I'm telling you now. I'm sharing the way I did it, because I know it works. And it is simple. It just means, just have to do it. So I saw a movie, and you see the movie how you want it to be. And you see yourself acting in that movie, the way you want to act. You hear your voice, the way you want to speak. You know by just looking at yourself, the way you're feeling. Because you can tell, you can tell the vibes that come off you. You're in control, you're in charge. Because that's all it is. And now you're in charge, what you can do, is just go into that movie, just for a moment, into the you. And just feel like, what it would be like, to be this way. You don't have to see all the rest of the movie, you can if you want to. You can let it play out, by being in that movie, because you know, it's not really happening. It's in your imagination, and you're in control of your imagination, nobody else is. So imagine it the way you want...
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FMQ 507 Standing is not An Option and is NOT OK
08/05/2025
FMQ 507 Standing is not An Option and is NOT OK
Standing Still Is NOT OK – The Myth of ‘Maintaining A Five-MinuteQuickie from Personal Development Unplugged What if standing still is actually taking you backwards? In this short, sharp episode, we break the illusion of “treading water” in personal growth. You’re either moving forward or slipping back—and this 5-minute muse is a call to action for continuous personal development, even if it's just 1% at a time. Discover why consistent progress is essential for self-improvement, confidence, and mental well-being. Learn how applying small daily shifts in mindset and behaviour leads to lasting transformation—without overwhelm. This is real, doable self-growth. 🎯 Takeaways Standing still = slipping back 1% daily growth = exponential results The myth of “maintaining” Personal development isn’t a sprint—it’s an intention Progress in one area ripples through the rest of your life A simple reminder to evolve, not retreat. Go a challenge you want help with? Email: Share this episode if it made you think – someone else needs to hear it too. Shine Brightly 🌟 Paul Hey there! I’d love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at . Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review . Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit . Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to . Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure. Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on , Castbox, , YouTube, or on our . Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨ Music Credits Music by Wataboi, DreamHeaven, ccjmusic, and others from . And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism Hey, welcome back to the Five Minute Quickie. And, imagine this. You're in a boat. You're a lovely little boat. And, you're on the river. And, there's a lovely little, there's a stream or a current, you know, going past. And, you've put an anchor down. And, as you put that anchor down, you think you're standing still. Are you? Because everything else is moving away from you. You're not moving forward. Everything else is moving forward. So, in effect, your standing still is maybe going backwards. That's what I want to talk to you about. Standing still is okay. No, it isn't. No, it isn't. You see, we talk about, can I? Constant and never-ending improvement. The 1%. And, I've talked about it in the longer podcast. I've talked about it in the past. And, I know I'm going to talk about it in the future. Because, if you're not striving, just striving just to be a little bit better. Then, I know if you think about it, just in your career, maybe in your fitness, maybe in your health, maybe in your learning. If you're not striving to be just a little bit better, you can kid yourself that you're standing still. You can kid yourself that you're just treading water. It'll be okay. But, in fact, you are going backwards. You're going backwards when you relate to other people in your field, if it's career and relationships and things like that. You're going backwards if it's your health. Because, we can all just do a little bit more. But, the thing is, you're not standing still. You're actually going backwards because the old saying, if you don't use it, you will lose it. If you don't use your brain, it's a muscle. You've got so much capacity. Use it or you'll lose it. We'll forget things. We've got to keep topping it up. We've got our body. We've got to keep moving it. You know, it's no good going to the gym once or doing a bit of stretching and going, yeah, I'm flexing because you'll lose it. You go next time, maybe just leave it for a couple of days and try touching your toes. You go, oh, that's tight. We've lost it. I was only standing still. I didn't really do much. In fact, I only tried to do the things I was doing before. Well, if you did the things you're doing before, you tend to find that you do them a little bit less. Because, sometimes you have to do a little bit more to keep even just the same thing. And, you don't have to do it 100%. If you could work at 80% and you go, well, Paul, if I'm doing 80% every day or every week or every time I do something, doesn't that mean I'm standing still? Well, you might think so, but you're not. You're not. Because, what happens is your 80% gets bigger, which is quite weird. Think about that. But, if you can lift something at 80% and you keep practicing and practicing, you can lift a little bit stronger or you become a bit stronger and you can lift a little bit heavier. And, that lifting a little bit heavier now becomes your new 80%. It's a new 80%. So, you're growing and you're not hurting yourself. You're just doing a little bit more. The thing is, sometimes we think we have to do it and everybody thinks all the time, all the time. No. You can if you can. Don't get overwhelmed by it. As long as we are striving in one area today, maybe two areas today, making sure that we pick the most important areas, we'll find that our improvements generalize into other areas of our life. So, if we get fitter, we might get a little bit confident in ourself, just in our own body. That will spread to when you go to your work or when you meet people because you'll be that little bit more confident. So, you know your confidence has grown. Now, you're meeting people and now you're maybe learning from that. So, just don't stand still. It's not okay. And, striving to do just a little bit better, just a little, little, little bit better isn't difficult. Just set your intention. Is this important to me? And, then we'll do it. Now, the thing is, this is only a five-minute quickie. It's something to muse about. And, it's a reminder. It's a reminder to you. It's a reminder to me. So, I've got to keep doing it as well, by the way. And, in this reminder, I'm thinking, I wonder how I can do this in a different way, maybe. I've talked about it in the past. I've talked about it in the future. I haven't talked about the future. What I'm going to say is, I am going to talk about it deeper in the future. So, we can find even better ways just to keep our motivation, just to keep our confidence, just to keep our growth, because that's what personal development is all about. Development, personally. That's what we're going to do. So, you come with me. You come with me, because old guys rule, and I'm an old guy. Have fun. If there's any particular area that you want me to help you with, to get that extra little bit every time you do it, send me an email, feedback at personaldevelopmentunplugged.com, and share this episode as well. I always ask you to, I know you don't, but if you would, it would be kind, and it just means it gets out to more people. You'll be surprised. Okay. Until the next time, my friend, have more fun than you can stand, and maybe have 1% more pleasure than you can stand today. Okay. Time to fly. Bye-bye. So, before you leave this unplugged mind of mine, this hypnotic mind, if you enjoyed this podcast, or any of the other podcasts, please do subscribe. It helps this podcast grow and affect so many more people, and we love to leave everyone in a better place than we found them, and this will help. Help the podcast. It will help you, and it will help, well, everyone that you know. So, if you could just subscribe and share. Share this podcast to everyone you blooming well know. That's the only cost. Pay it forward to everyone, and when you do that, boom, we are all going to make a difference to this little old planet Earth of ours, and the people in it. Let's make a good world, a nice world. Okay. Okay. You can now prepare to leave this unplugged mind. Warning. You are now leaving the unplugged mind of Paul Clough. It's time to fly. Be brave, my friend. Personal development unplugged. Transcribed by . to remove this message. Personal development [self improvement] [self development] [NLP] [Hypnosis]
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# 455 Feeling A Failure- Lets Solve It
08/01/2025
# 455 Feeling A Failure- Lets Solve It
Feeling a Failure – Let’s Solve It Ever felt like a failure? That heavy, gut-sinking emotion that says “I’m not good enough” or *“I’ve let myself (or others) down”? You're not alone. But what if I told you feeling like a failure is not a fact – it’s a signal. And better still, it’s something we can solve together. In this episode of the Personal Development Unplugged podcast, we go deep – but in only the way we can. I’ll walk you through how those thoughts of failure sneak in, what they really mean, and most importantly, give you simple, practical NLP and hypnosis-based tools to shift that feeling fast. Learn how to: • Challenge and change the story you're telling yourself • Turn emotional feedback into empowering action • Reclaim confidence and self-worth (without toxic positivity) • Use the language of success to rewire your internal dialogue • Start new habits that build momentum, not guilt This isn’t about pretending everything’s great. This is about acknowledging the feeling, finding the real intention behind it, and creating real, lasting change. And it’s simpler than you think — because, say it with me: In simplicity, there is genius. It’s time to take that feeling of failure and use it as fuel for your personal growth. Listen now and reclaim your inner success story. Watch the full video episode too if you fancy seeing my face in action! Subscribe. Share. Let’s help more people unplug from limitations. Shine Brightly 🌟 Paul Hey there! I’d love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at . Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review . Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit . Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to . Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure. Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on , Castbox, , YouTube, or on our . Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨ Music Credits Music by Wataboi, DreamHeaven, ccjmusic, and others from . And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism Hey, my friends, my friend. I think there's one or two here. The longer podcast and feeling a feeling of failure. Let's solve it. But before I go into that, I want to tell you a little story. Because yesterday I recorded this particular thing. Feelings of failure. And guess what happened? At the very end, I went to play it back. Video wise? Yeah, it's there. The microphone hadn't been switched on. Zero audio. Zero audio. And do you know what? I felt such a dumbo. What a dim F-U-C-K. What? I was so, I shouted at myself. In fact, I shouted at the microphone for not turning itself off to start off with. I had to blame somebody. And then I realized, Paul, you've learned a valuable lesson. Always go back to basics. Check your basics. Check your intention and check your equipment to make sure things are all firing on all cylinders before we start. There you go. But I'm back again. And this feeling of a failure, because you see, sometimes to be a success, we think we need to have just one more minute, just a bit more, just a bit more. And sometimes it's just one more rep, just one more, just one more. But there's the other side of that, where we don't quite do that one more minute. We don't do that one more rep. And we think, do you know what? Yeah, that'll do. That'll do. And it's nearly there. I'll tell you what, I'll finish it off in the morning. And the thing is about the feeling of failure, and we are going to solve it by the way, it's not all about effort. Because effort, too much of it, can bring pain. And that pain generally comes from a clash of values. You see, what do I mean by that clash of values? You see, why do I keep saying you see? We'll find out. You want to work hard. You want to make a success of your career. You want to earn a lot of money, because you want your family to be safe. You want your family to be comfortable, have all the riches, and to enjoy life. Because you have family as a very high value. And that's what you want to do. So you work 25 hours a day, you work eight days a week. And you do it nonstop, because all you want to do is provide for your family. What happens? Well, your family ain't around, because your relationships just went up in the air. Because you were doing too much on one side of the equation, and not enough of the other. You didn't check your values first. And you see, it's a conflict. It's a direct conflict between one and the other. And you see, little conflicts become little cracks. And those little cracks tend to get bigger. They tend to get, over time, bigger and bigger until it's too late. And have you had this excuse? I know I have. And it's just such a stupid excuse. Well, I didn't see that coming. Yeah, of course you didn't bloody see it coming. You could have done. You could have done. And then you give that excuse. Yeah, but I was only doing it for the family. I was only doing it for this. I mean, the other one is, I want to get so super healthy. And you spend all the time in the gym. You run and you're doing this and you're doing that. And in fact, sometimes your body just falls down because you're unhealthy. But you lose, again, maybe social relationships. You maybe lose the time when you should be learning to get that harmony. It's a sort of balance, but I don't like the word balance. Harmony, when you do a little bit more one, something takes a little backseat, but then you bring it back up to you. So you do find a balance in the end, but you work towards knowing your values. So that's one way how we can have that feeling of being a failure. And we've created it. We chose to do it, by the way. If that was you, we chose to do that. But we didn't take account of our values. Let's flip it over. Let's flip it over. Because have you ever been guilty? I know I have. Of not quite doing enough. Not quite doing enough. Get distracted. Or sometimes I try to do a little bit of everything and do absolutely nothing at all. But at the end of the day, there is nothing. I've been very busy. I've been busy doing all that urgent stuff, thinking I'm being busy. But I've been distracted by this and that. Putting things off. And sometimes I've just been putting things off for instant pleasure. You know, that doom strolling. Whatever it is you get hits by. And you look back and you think, well, if only. I wish I'd. I could have done. I should have done. And you see, one of them is setting the bar so high. And you just go for it. And it's just too high. And it doesn't take into account all the different things that's going on in your life. The other one is too bloody low. And either way, life just seems to crash and burn and certainly crash and burn in the way that it doesn't feel empowering. It doesn't feel rich. It doesn't feel enjoyable. There is no enjoyable. It doesn't. There is no joy in it. And you see, I think. Yes, I think. I've remembered this button. I think they're all. Well, they both come from a sense of fear. Fear? Yeah. The first one, I'm frightened to fail. You know, I don't want to be seen to be a failure. Because, you know, I'd be a failure if I'm not able to support the people I love. I'm a failure because I can't look after my body. I'm a failure because I'm trying. I'm just so frightened about being that failure. But the whole point is, if those relationships go upside down, if your health takes a dive, and normally when things go that way with relationships, our health goes down or whatever, and then we don't go to the gym, and then we get worse and worse, and we still feel a failure. And you see, even with all that effort, because we're frightened of being a failure, what do we feel? A failure. So we are actually creating that direct conflict. I don't want to feel a failure, but I'm now creating a life where I do feel a failure. And it's only your thoughts. The second one, let's think about the second one. Putting off things, excuses, you know, for not performing. We just give, we love to give an excuse. We really do, don't we? We just love to give excuses. So it lets us off the hook. You see, if we put excuses so we can have that such a low bar that we don't have to perform, we'll never be judged. And if you're never judged, because you're not failing, because you're always doing 30%, you know, I've done 31% to date. But how do you feel? What's the result? Well, you try to do it so you can't fail. But inside, you feel a bloody failure. And with both of those, you get this identifying belief. Identifying, I mean, it's at your identity level. I am a failure. I am a failure. How does that generalise into the rest of your life? When you have a belief, I'm a failure, because what tends to happen is we have a belief created over here. And it then generalises into different contexts of your life. And if you're taking, I'm a failure into different contexts of your life, guess what? Life doesn't go too well. And other things change. But here's the rub. Here's the thing. Here's the thing we can do about it. What we can do about it. You see, in NLP, Neuro Linguistic Programming, there's a presupposition, or there's a whole list of presuppositions, and they're called useful assumptions. And I love to try to live my life by these useful assumptions, because they just work. And one of them is, there's no such thing as failure. It's just feedback. Now, if you add that to the five keys to success, what? Yeah, the five keys to success. I've talked about it before, but I'm going to put it in this solving feeling of failure. Because if we live our life with those five keys, success has to come through. Therefore, failure does not exist. And if failure doesn't exist, because it's only feedback anyway, we get to do it properly. We get to live our life in a way. So let me explain. Let me explain. I wish you would. I wish you would, Cloughie. Well, here I am. What's the first key to success? Well, it's knowing what you want. But the thing is, it's not just about knowing what you want. It's about setting your intention. But first of all, before you go flying off, look at your values. Why is this important to you? And then check in your other values. What are the other things in your life that are important to you, such as family, such as social, such as career, such as your health? Which one of those? And do they all support each other? It's that little thing I call the ecology check. Is it good for you? Is it good for others? And is it good for little old planet Earth? Now, if you get those three and you consider them, and you don't have to be 100% right, by the way, you just consider them. Because if the ones that jump out and go, well, if I do work this hard, I really got to either explain to my family that there'll be days when I'm working very hard, but I'm going to make it up. And I want you to support me and go back off, come back into the family. I need that help. If it's hitting the gym too hard, get someone, your friend to say, well, just hey, come on, let's just rest. Let your body rest. Because when you rest, you're going to get more healthier and let it affect other areas in your life. Will it affect my work? Will it affect this? Will it affect that? Check those values. It doesn't take long. And I think once you've checked them, then you can take action, which is the second key. But you're taking action, setting the bar at the right level. What's the right level? Well, it isn't bloody 100%. I'll tell you that now. One thing, you can't reach 100%. You can't. And I really chuckle to myself when I hear people say, give 110%. Do you know what? That's pretty difficult. You've only got 100%. The bucket is full at 100%. But if you give 100%, which is so damn difficult, because you'll never really do 100%, because you don't quite know what 100% is. If you listen to David Goggins, he thinks a lot of people think 100% is only 40%. And then that's when they give up. But David Goggins isn't. So his 40% is maybe there. But the thing is, if you set your bar too high, you're never going to make it. And guess what happens? Oh, I'm a failure. What happens if you set it too low? Well, we just know. We're never going to feel that we've achieved anything. Because we know in our hearts that we could have got there. Easy. So what's a good percentage? 80%. 80% is great. Why 80%? Because whatever you do at 80%, it's achievable. It's bloody hard to achieve, by the way. 80% is to be consistently at 80% is a good bloody record. You will be in the top little percent of everybody if you're hitting 80% regularly, consistently. And that's consistently in all different areas of your life. But the thing is, you say, oh, 80% poor, that seems low. You'll find out it's pretty difficult. But the thing is, week on week, that 80% grows. Because that 80%, say in a month's time, is equal to 100% of what it was a month ago. So you're growing, you're getting stronger. But as you hit 80%, you can feel damn, that's good. You'll see the results. And the one thing is, you don't get injured. If you're going to the gym at 80%, you'll never get injured. Yeah, occasionally you go a little bit more to grow. But 80% is good. You know, if you're giving 80% to your relationships, again, you're doing more than most people. And it just keeps growing. Let's say that 80% just gets bigger. And when you get that 80%, it feels bloody good. You feel a success. Wow. And the thing about this is, so you've set your bar at the right level, you've got your intention, you know that you're going to be aware of all your other values, the other important things in your life. And it's that awareness, which is the third key, by the way. Third key, the third key of the five keys of success is awareness. It's that review that you have. And we've talked about reviewing. If you review too often, it's overwhelming, you don't see any difference. If you review too late, you'll miss it. But you need to review, are you in the right direction? Are you in the right projection? Are you caring for your values? Because you need to choose whether you need to put a little bit more over here or back off over there. You choose, you see. And if you're really thinking about your values, and you ask yourself the question, am I doing enough? Because sometimes, actually, I haven't been getting anywhere near that 80%. Or am I doing too much? Because I'm trying too hard and I'm losing a little bit of a value. You then get the fourth, the fourth key, which is flexibility, because you've now done that review, you understand this, because you always have to make adjustments. And when you make adjustments, it's that flexibility to know, I'm just off course. And if I keep going off course, for a period of days and weeks, I'm going to be miles out of the way. And we're always off course, aeroplanes are always off course, apart from the two times, once when they take off and once when they land, but they're always making subtle adjustments to keep on course. And when you have that flexibility, and one of the presuppositions, useful assumptions of NLP is the person with the most flexibility rules the system. That's a weird way of saying it. But if you have flexibility in your life, you will be able to rule your life, but you'll certainly govern your life, you'll be in charge of your life, you'll be empowered to create what you want. And it's all about choosing them. Because of that flexibility, you can choose what you need to do, step up, decrease, add more effort over here. Each time you do that, guess what, you feel empowered. And when you're empowered, you feel 867. And here's the one I love. You see, if you think about it, there's a fifth key. The fifth key is, we've talked about it so many times, but it's a diamond. Act as if, and I'm going to slow down now because I got excited. What is acting as if? It is not faking it till you make it. Acting as if is knowing if you were to have the results that you wanted, what you dream of, your goal, what you're aiming for right now. And if you were to visualize that, what would it be like? How would you act? How would you work in the world? Because it's acting as if with a physiology and a psychology of excellence. So how do you breathe? How would you walk? How would you look after your body? How would you eat? What would you feed it in? In the things that you listen to, you look at, you read. And the psychology, what would you think? What beliefs would you have? What empowering positive beliefs? What behaviours would you use? Healthy behaviours. Now, if you knew what that would be like when you've achieved that goal, what's stopping you acting as if you've got it now? Because you now know how to act. And do you think if you acted that way, when you start to take that action, wow, you would get there. You would get there so much quicker than you would before. Because acting as if just bloody works. It's telling your unconscious mind, this is it. This is where we're going. People get it too, because your nonverbal communication, acting as if, tells them you mean business. You're professionally being your best. When I say professionally, you're professional you, being the best you can do. And you see, none of this is what? None of it is bloody rocket science. It's common bloody sense. But there is no common in sense sometimes. So it's not rocket science, but it is simple. And if you haven't made notes, I really think just when we finish, just go back a few minutes and then just make these notes again. Because it will rocket you. Because it's not rocket science, but it will rocket you to success. It will not fear a failure and the feeling of failure out of the window, which means we've solved it. You see, once you get past step one, which is understanding what you want, setting your intention and making sure that your values are all accommodated, they're all working with each other. You just keep rinsing and repeating steps two to five, because you just keep taking more action. But you're taking more action on the things that you're aware of what needs to be done, because you're flexible. And you've got that acting as if, the psychology and physiology of excellence. So here's the thing. This applies to everything. Everything you do, because everything you do is a decision, which is a goal towards a goal to do something. You have an intention to whatever you decide to do, there's an intention to it. Well, if you could get this as a...
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FMQ 506 A Respectful Look at the Views Of Others
07/29/2025
FMQ 506 A Respectful Look at the Views Of Others
A Respectful Look at the Views of Others A Five-Minute Quickie from the Personal Development Unplugged Podcast Ever wondered how someone can hold a belief so different from yours — even the total opposite — and still be right? Well, in this five-minute (ish!) ramble, we explore one of NLP’s most important presuppositions: respect for another person’s model of the world. We all build our own "maps" of reality based on our experiences. But what happens when we genuinely listen to someone else's? Can we learn from it? Can it balance, challenge, or even evolve our own beliefs? In this episode: Why no one’s map is 100% the territory How curiosity leads to harmony (and less conflict) And why active listening could be your secret growth tool Take a moment, a breath, a coffee — and muse with me. Test everything. Respect difference. Be curious. Want the full experience? Subscribe, follow, and share the hell out of this with someone open-minded like you! And the video link More fun than you can stand — wallow in curiosity! Shine Brightly 🌟 Paul Hey there! I’d love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at . Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review . Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit . Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to . Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure. Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on , Castbox, , YouTube, or on our . Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨ Music Credits Music by Wataboi, DreamHeaven, ccjmusic, and others from . And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism Hey. A little while ago we did a couple of five minute quickies about the, well, the convenient assumptions or presuppositions of NLP. And I wanted to, just for five minutes, to muse about another one, another one. And it's all about respect. Respect for the other person's model of the world. Because I don't know if you know that we all have our own models of the world and we all have our own maps. And someone said, you know, the map is not the territory. So if the map is not the territory and it's our map, but we're not really looking outside to find out what territory is, lovely metaphor, isn't it? But our world is, our world is a map. And we believe it's true, don't we? Everything that we believe must be right because we believe it. And guess what? Other people have different beliefs. Sometimes a bloody opposite. How is that? Because lots of things have happened in the past, their experiences, their backgrounds, their parents, everything you can think of has conspired with them to create beliefs and the choices they make in the world, which gives them more beliefs. And guess what, so have you. And you've formed this thing called a map, which may be right in some places, maybe not quite so right on others, but also there's a whole territory out there, which is constantly changing. And if you think of this modern world right now, everything is changing so quickly too. And we're being overwhelmed by so much information, but also a lot of false information. So it's really distorting everything. So how can our little map of the territory be right? But what we have to do, I think, is in order to get clearer, maybe other people's map, their territory, their, as we call it, model of the world, has something in it that we could learn from. Because there's always two sides of every slice of bread. See, there's something, but there's always two sides, isn't there? And maybe one side is buttered more than the other one is jammed. I'm not quite sure where that metaphor went. But it's all about really just listening, I guess, listening to other people, their dialogue, what they're saying, what their beliefs are, and then just matching them with yours and seeing how something changed. Because you can change beliefs in an instant. If something comes to you and you go, ah, I've seen it, I've done it, something has changed. All of a sudden, I never used to be able to do something. And you believe, ah, I could never do that. And now you've tried it. And now you become skillful and a master at it. And everything changes. And your belief about what you're capable of doing will always change. So I think this is great to have respect for other people's model of the world. So you can then go, oh, I wonder where that came from. What did they know? Or what did they experience that I didn't to come to that conclusion? And it gives you, I don't like the word balanced, but I'm going to use it. You might be able to get a more balanced view, but you'll get the harmony of finding out what the blue in hell is going on in the world. Just listening to opposing views, as it were, gives you something to think about. Especially if you can keep that respect by saying, well, you honestly hold that view. I wonder where it came from. Is there something in that that I'm not seeing or that I don't understand? And then you can ask questions and they can ask questions of you. That's what I'd love to have happen. The moment in this world, you seem to be either right or left or this or extreme and that, which is, it's not right, is it? No one is always right. No one is perfectly right because there's no perfect thing. And it's all about the context. But in this world of personal development and the things that we're learning, even different things that we're learning, is to call that a model of the world. And where did that model, how was that model formed? How was it created? And is it something I can take on board? And it's all about having respect for other people, I guess, and where their views came from. And having an open mind, an open mind to listen, be an active listener. And then take time, as I love to do here in this five-minute quickie, to muse, to consider. So take it away and go, do you know what? I'm having a cup of coffee, a glass of water, my gin and tea, my frozen vodka, all that stuff. Maybe just sitting down for five minutes and going, I wonder where that view came from. Could I learn something from it? Even if it reinforces my view, but at least I've listened. And that's what I'd love you to do with this podcast. The longer podcasts, have a listen and really see if they gel with you. Does it work? Test the hell out of the processes that I share with you. I know they work, but they have to work for you. And if they don't work for you, let me know, because then I can do something about it. I can mold them to whatever you need. But, you know, take nothing on face value, but look for the golden nuggets. So that was a wonderful ramble, Cluffy. Yeah, a wonderful ramble for more than five minutes on a five-minute quickie to get you to think about things differently. Have fun and muse. Didn't make sense at all, did it? But hey, something will have gone in. Okay, I'll see you later. Bye-bye. Before you go, my friend, I'd like to ask you a question. Did you learn something from this, this episode? I hope you did, because even though every episode may not be the one that really floats your boat, sets you, you know, alight. Hopefully there's a takeaway in each and every episode for you. And I'd love to know what it was. So please do email me at feedback at personaldevelopmentunplugged.com. It's a personal email to me. I'd love to know so we can carry on doing this work that will allow you to exceed your dreams. And what's the payment for this? Payment, Cloughie? What are you talking about payment? I thought it was free. Well, it's like pay it forward. And if you could pay this forward in two ways, or maybe three, first way is please share it. Share this podcast with as many people as you could. And you can. It's very easy. Just press that share button. Send it off by email to them. You'd love to, this is something you might like, might get that right, Paul. Something you might enjoy. And hey, if you could, a real big pay it forward to me is wherever you're getting this podcast, is it iTunes, Castbox, or Stitcher, or whichever you're getting from, Google Play, I don't know. Would you please just leave a review? Because the review really helps people find this podcast. There's thousands out there. And we want to, or I want to direct people to this podcast. And the way to do it is by reviews. So if you could do that, if you could share, you can do that. And also just make sure that you're subscribed. So you get this episode and every other episode on a Wednesday and a Saturday. If you do all of that, my little heart will sing. And if you want me to sing, well, you'll have to wait and see. Enjoy. But please do, do all of that. Make my heart sing. Bye-bye now. Warning, you are now leaving the unplugged mind of Paul Clough. It's time to fly now. Be brave, my friend. Personal development unplugged. Personal development [self improvement] [self development] [NLP] [Hypnosis]
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#454 Mental Wellbeing - Tools and Strategies Part 1
07/25/2025
#454 Mental Wellbeing - Tools and Strategies Part 1
#454 Mental Wellbeing – Tools and Strategies Part 1 Two simple tools that could change everything. We’ve all been through tough times — sadness, anxiety, OCD, loss of confidence, grief, loneliness… and it’s all “stuff” that affects your mental wellbeing. But here’s the thing: most of that big stuff? It started small. In this episode of the Personal Development Unplugged podcast, I (Cloughie) guide you through two powerful, yet beautifully simple mental wellbeing tools. These aren’t fluffy techniques – they’re real strategies that help you: Acknowledge and neutralise uncomfortable emotions (instead of pushing them down) Interrupt anxious thoughts and looping inner dialogue Get clarity, create strategies, and take back control Transform worry into personal power and positive action We do the work together. Right here. Right now. These are practical NLP-based tools you can use any time life throws you a curveball – no fluff, just real results. 🎧 Listen now and learn: Why ignoring “little stuff” makes it big How to speak directly to your unconscious mind What to do with that “weird feeling” you just can’t shake How simple curiosity creates profound change The power of specificity and intention in self-healing This is Part 1 – more tools and techniques are coming soon. But these first two are game-changers. Start here. 🔁 Share this episode with someone who might need a gentle shift. 📩 Email me your thoughts or requests at 💬 Want tools for a specific issue? Just ask – I’ll make a future episode for it. Don’t forget to subscribe and follow wherever you get your podcasts. “In simplicity, there is genius.” Let’s keep it simple – and effective. And remember: Have more fun than you can stand – and wallow in joy. Shine Brightly 🌟 Paul Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review . Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit . Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to . Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure. Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on , Castbox, , YouTube, or on our . Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨ Music Credits Music by Wataboi, DreamHeaven, ccjmusic, and others from . And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism Hey friend, how you doing? I think, like most of us, I say most of us, pretty generality-Cloughie again, but we've all gone through some shit. We've gone through some dark times. Well, certainly I have. And I think, because of that, it made me more interested in searching for tools, processes, protocols, whatever you want to call them, to assist in my mental well-being, but also to help other people's mental well-being. You know, even to the things of, I know you've got depression, you've got OCD, all that stuff, but you've also got not feeling bad, not feeling down, sad, alone, grief, so many different types of things that can affect your mental well-being. Even the thing of just loss of confidence, loneliness, agoraphobia, or as they say, I think, in the US, agoraphobia. I don't know. But you fill in the blank, because anything and everything is part of, or is something that could affect your mental well-being, your mental health. And over those years, because of that dark time, I found and developed, well, I found a lot of protocols, a lot of processes, a lot of tools, but I also used them to develop them in many different ways, to let go of, and I call it stuff. That's what I call these mental, or these issues that we have. They're just stuff. And some of those processes, either I found or developed, or some I did develop completely by myself, some is just like an evolution that I just felt I could make it better. They'll help clients get rid of really big stuff. That's big stuff. And you know what I'm going to say about big stuff is, if something is getting on you, is pulling you down, holding you back, making you feel really bad, and it's constantly on your mind, go and get it sorted straight away. Go and find a hypnotherapist, someone who does NLP, someone who does timeline therapy, who's a master hypnotist. Get it done really quickly, one-to-one. You'll get it done in two or three sessions. Because if they can't do that, then they're not that good. But they should be able to do it really quickly. But what about, here's the thing, and this is what this podcast is about, what about the everyday stuff, the little stuff? But the trouble with little stuff, you see, it starts little. Even if you've had a big problem and you've got rid of it, or you're experiencing bigger issues, they all started way back in the past, generally, and they were really small. And your unconscious mind tried to do something to help you to get over that issue, and then it started to do the same thing more often. And then it did it in different contexts, which was similar but not the same. And after a while, you tend to find that issue is generalised into all different contexts, not just the one you started off with. So, getting hold of that little stuff is big stuff, if that makes sense. Because it's a big deal. So, never just think. And I know we do, because we're bloody adults. No, it's not that bad. It's not that bad at all. But it could be. And why not just do something really quickly to get rid of it? Because then it won't generalise into bigger stuff. It won't generalise into every different area of your life. And the other thing what happens is, you deal with it, and what happens is the results you get, they generalise into every area of your life. So, you become more confident, more likeable to yourself, all that stuff. You just feel more about you, and you take that everywhere, and it just keeps growing. But the thing is, the more I look for these things, the more I seek them out, I'm reminded of the simple stuff. The simple stuff that I've learnt or developed. I think that's probably where I got into this thing, in simplicity there is genius. In simplicity there is genius. In simplicity there is genius. Maybe that's why I got hooked on just that. I don't know, maybe it is. Because I've always learnt that simple stuff really works. And I've seen it so many times. I've seen people who are superb in what they do, as in giving demonstrations of therapy. And when things are going not quite the way they planned, they always say, do you mind if I go back to the simple stuff? And here's the thing, I'm not going to talk about any of that. What? No, I'm not going to talk about it. We're going to do them together. And we're going to do them together now. Yeah, that's surprising, isn't it? So I want you to get ready to give yourself some time to experience, well, maybe a couple of processes. Simple processes that you can make a note of. You can do it with me, so you know what it is. You can then come back and listen to this again. Mark the time, and then you can just do it whenever you want. But at least you'll have the tools to deal with simple stuff really early, so it doesn't get to the big and the bad and the ugly. So what am I talking about? What type of issue are we talking about? Well, you know what I'm saying, and a lot of this is from my experience. You know when you wake up with a feeling, hmm, that's unpleasant. It's just not, it just doesn't feel right. Or sometimes, you know, something happens. So I get this when I'm writing in my bloody journal. I'm writing something, and all of a sudden I get like a negative emotion. I've triggered it myself. It's a feeling. And it's not quite really sad, and it's not really down, and it's not, well, it's a sort of a worry. It is sort of anxiety-anxious, but it's, I don't know, it's one of those, oh, or it could be anxiety, or it could be worry, or it could be down, it could be sad, but it's just there. Have you had that? Because that's what I've had. And this is the type of thing I'm thinking of, because they're starting off small. This is like how things start before they evolve into the bigger stuff. So what happens? What happens in the real world? What do we do with it? We get that funny feeling. We don't like it. What do we do? We push the bugger away, don't we? Well, we try to. We push. We push it down. We push it away. We try to ignore it. That's another way of pushing it away, just ignore it. You know it's there, because it keeps coming back, doesn't it? And do you know what the answer is to that? It's a Bob Newhart thing. Stop it. Have you ever seen, if you Google on YouTube, Bob Newhart, stop it. You'll see a great skit. But just stop it. Stop pushing things away, because when you push them away, your unconscious mind will push it even harder, push back harder, because it's trying to do something for you. Yeah. So what do you do then, Cloughie? Come and tell us. I'll tell you now. Here's a simple thing. Acknowledge it. I said before, we don't accept these things, because accepting them is like I'm accepting that it's right, that it's okay. No, I'm acknowledging I don't feel good. I'm acknowledging maybe I feel a little bit of worry. I'm acknowledging maybe I feel a little bit of anxiety, a little bit down, a little bit sad, a little bit whatever. You fill in the blank. And once we acknowledge it, acknowledge it by acknowledging that it has a reason for being here. Okay. You know, I speak to my unconscious mind, speak out loud in my head. Okay. I don't like this feeling, but I'm sitting with it for the moment, and I know you have a reason for being here. You're trying to do something for me. Let's do a little bit of work. So what do we do? Well, what we do is, we take five minutes. Really, Cloughie? Yeah, five minutes. And we find somewhere where we can generally be undisturbed, because you don't want to be distracted, do you? Now, you might want to get a pen and paper to write some of this stuff down, but hey-ho, you can come back. But I do, if you can, do it with me. So if you're going to do it with me, you know, maybe you can think of a time when you did have that funny old feeling, because it might come back. Find a little place where you'll be undisturbed, yeah? Because I want you to sit in that feeling and describe it. Nothing else. We're not pushing it away, we're not trying to change it. We're just going to describe it in a minute. And you're also going to say thank you for whatever you're trying to do. I don't know what it is yet, I just know you're trying to do something positive for me, so thank you. We're just not getting it right at the moment, but thank you. And be honest with that part of you, that feeling, because it is trying to do something. If your best friend was trying to do something, but they weren't quite doing it right, you'd still say thank you, wouldn't you? And let's see if we can do it better. So, we're going to describe this feeling. First of all, thank you. Get into it. And just sit there. What? Yeah, just sit there, quietly. And begin to get curious. What does that mean? Well, the curiosity part goes, well, where is it exactly? And a lot of people go, oh, it's in my head. Well, sometimes it is in your head, but sometimes it comes from somewhere else and goes to your head, where you make all those bloody pictures and movies and sounds and words. Just think, where is it in my body? You know, if it's in my head, where's it come from first? Because you tend to find, you know, worry and anxiety and sadness. It's somewhere normally in your gut. Somewhere in your gut. That's a big generality, Cloughie, I know. But just sit there. Where is it? Ah. And what I do, and what I do with my clients, I say, put your hand on it. Or roughly where it is, just put your hand on it. So you're acknowledging it now, aren't you? You're going, oh, gotcha. So now you know where it is exactly in your body. Okay, that's a start. A real acknowledgement. Does it have a size? What size is it? Oh, oh yeah. Well, it's actually this big. And I get my clients to describe it. What size exactly? Show me with your hands. Fingers. Show me how big it is. And now you know where it is and the size of it. Does it have a weight? Oh. Actually, it's quite heavy. Oh, it's a bit light. Oh yeah. Does it have a temperature, by the way? Is it hot, cold, neutral? Actually, when you think about it now, it's a bit cold. What else? What else? Does it vibrate? Does it move at all? No, it's pretty stationary at the moment. I can't really detect anything like that. Okay, what colour is it? What? Yeah, what colour is it? You know, if it had a colour, what colour would it be then? Oh. Mm. Yeah. It's a bit of a darky red. And now when you're really now getting access to it, because now you're really acknowledging it and you're being in that feeling. You're in there describing it. Put your mind into it. Okay, I'm going right into this feeling, into my stomach. Into this size, this weight, temperature, this colour, this darker red maybe. And just ask. What do you want from me? What are you trying to do? Now, sometimes an answer or an intuition will come to you. Not necessarily words, but it might be just like an idea. Might come to you now. Or it might be a little bit later. Like being intuitive about something else. Or you could add to this. What do I need to do or not do? What can I learn? And just get inquisitive. Curious. Because intuition comes in so many different ways. It could come in words. It could come in a memory. It could come in a different emotion. It could come in just a thought. And the thing is when you spend time putting your attention right into the centre of that feeling and you get curious of all these different, we call them sub-modalities, but just the different qualities of that feeling, you tend to notice it begins to fade because you've asked the right questions. And sometimes as you're there you might say, well, I wonder what it would be. Because at the moment it's a darky red. What would happen if it was a blue? Because blue is quite calm for me. What would happen if I changed that to blue? Just imagine then changing it to a colour. A colour of another emotion that comes to mind. Because what's the colour of understanding? What's the colour of calm? And just notice if you changed that feeling. The colour of that feeling. Notice what happens. Now with my clients, what I do, I explain to them that every feeling has a movement. It does move by the way. It moves in a circle. It's like it will either go clockwise, anticlockwise, flatwards, clockwise, anticlockwise, in some direction around your body. Sometimes I say to my client, well, what would you imagine if you took, actually imagine it coming out of your body, flipping it round, spin it the other way, and come back into your body. What happens now? And I know what happens now by the way. I knew before when we did it. They go, oh, it's gone. And if you want to know about that, go to hashtag 94. And I think there's a hypnosis track, hashtag 94.2. I don't know why it's .2. Normally .1, but hashtag 94.2. And it's spinning. And it tells you how to change the colours and the spinning and the direction and things like that and how to get rid of things. But it's all about learning. Yeah. There you go. And one of the big things you remember, or to remember, breathe. Take a breath before you start. Pause. Set your intention. I'm going to get curious. Maybe I should have said that at the beginning. Stop, pause. I'm going to get curious about this feeling because I want to find out and have it change into something more appropriate. Because that's what it is. It's your unconscious mind using an emotion which is no longer appropriate. And we want to find a better one. There you go. Let's do one more. Let's do one more. Let's say we have a worry. A little anxiety over a thing. A person. And it's starting to get out of control. It's like it's in your, I say that again, it's in your thoughts all the time. It's always there. It's like a loop. And maybe there's a conversation you're having that's, by the way, you're not because it's in your mind. You're having a conversation with your bloody self even though you think you're having it with that other person. Or if it's a thing and you think it's going to go wrong. It hasn't gone wrong yet, by the way, because you're just imagining it going wrong. And again, these are all, it's just your unconscious mind saying, let's prepare. That's what anxiety is. It's just a thing to help you prepare. So what do you do? You say, okay, maybe we pause. It's our intention. Because I want to acknowledge it again because it's all about acknowledging. Okay, you're there. There's anxiety, there's worry. And I understand. It's only here to protect me. Protect me in a way to get me to prepare. But the trouble is, your unconscious mind, what it does is, it gives you the worst of scenarios. And what happens? You see the worst of scenarios because it wants you to feel so bad that you really do prepare. But then it gets overwhelming, doesn't it? And you don't prepare. That's what happens. So the intention to protect you from things going wrong is absolutely bloody wonderful. It's just the behavior of seeing the worst scenario or going through the wrong conversations of how bad they are. So what do we do? Take another breath. And this time you need to get a pen and paper. Pencil and paper. Because we want to get these thoughts, these worries out of our head. And if you put them on paper, you know then you can always come back to them. So you don't need to think about it anymore. So what do you do? You go, I've got this worry, this anxiety, this thing going on in my head. What exactly is it? What is it, this anxiety? What's it about? And I peel the layers off. Because we think, oh, it's because of that. Oh, no, it's not really that. It's just below that. It's actually, maybe it's that. Oh, no, actually, it's about this one thing. I've made it bigger than it is. It's not about that person everywhere. It's not about that event that's going to happen in the whole of it. It's that one little thing in that event. It's that one little thing that I'm upset with that person about. Oh, I need that conversation. Get it on paper. And when you get it down to specificity, which is a lovely word I love to use, bringing all the layers down to be so specific. What is this thing? Now when it's so small, you can bloody handle it now. Couldn't handle that bloody loop. But now you go, ah, let's find a better way. So here's a way. Realistically, reasonably, what is the worst that might happen, that could happen, maybe happen? They're all very vague, aren't...
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FMQ 505 Me and the Podcasts I like and Learn From
07/22/2025
FMQ 505 Me and the Podcasts I like and Learn From
My Favourite Podcasts Hey! Just sharing some podcasts I really love. I think they’re pretty popular, but if you haven’t checked them out, give them a listen. Modern Wisdom (Chris Williamson):** Super thoughtful, articulate guy. Most guests resonate with me. Chase Jarvis Live:** Creative chats with honest, talented people. *School of Greatness (Lewis Howes):** From athlete to business guy, really grounded and inspiring. Mark Devine Show:** Navy SEAL turned spiritual explorer—really cool to see that side of things. Making Sense (Sam Harris):** Deep, sometimes complex, but worth it. Jordan Peterson:** Thoughtful and deep—might need a dictionary at times! Jordan Harbinger:** Down-to-earth, real conversations. Think Fast, Talk Smart:** Tips on how to communicate better. Bill Burr’s Monday Morning Podcast:** Hilarious, honest, with some swearing. Joe Rogan:** Wide range of guests, super popular. Ass-Breaking Motivation:** Gets you fired up—some shouty, some inspiring. Would love to hear your favorites too! Send me an email at [email protected]. Sharing is caring, and it helps us all grow. And hey, make notes of those golden nuggets—you never know when you’ll need them. That’s it for now. Keep learning, keep sharing, and let’s make this world a better place. Speak soon! And the video of this episode is here Shine Brightly 🌟 Paul Hey there! I’d love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at . Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review . Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit . Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to . Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure. Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on , Castbox, , YouTube, or on our . Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨ Music Credits Music by Wataboi, DreamHeaven, ccjmusic, and others from . And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism Hey friend, 5 minute quickie and as you know, I tend to, well I do always, I always ask would you share the podcast, share the episode, because it does help. And what I thought was, although I always share episodes of other podcasts to my friends, my family, certainly my sons, who I think it'd really help. I thought today, I just share the type of podcasts that I think are really good. They certainly help me and it's something I look forward to. So they are pretty popular, I think. So maybe they're nothing too exciting, but they are really, really good. And the first one is a guy called Chris Williamson. I got my phone here because I need it for this, but he is brilliant because it's called the Modern Wisdom Podcast. Now, as with all things, some of the guests don't resonate, but with this guy, most of them do. But the most important thing for me is he is so thoughtful, so articulate. I would really, really love to be that articulate with the use of words and his thoughts. So that's one you really ought to look, well, not you ought to, but if you wanted to, you could look for and see what comes up. You've got things like the Chase Jarvis, what's it called? Chase Jarvis Live Podcast. Chase Jarvis was a photographer, but he's a creative and he brings on creative people. And I love that creativity and intuitive creativity. But he seems to be a rock solid guy. Very, very honest. So I love that one. One very similar to that is a guy called Lewis Howes with the School of Greatness. Again, not all the same, but he used to be like a super duper college football guy and things like that. Turned himself into this wonderful podcast guy, business and things like that. But it just gets guests, but he is so grounded and it just seems to, again, find the right balance of guests to come along. There's a great one I love to listen to. And that's a Mark Devine show, an ex Navy SEAL, who not only is in the big, strong Navy SEAL stuff, but also into spiritual awareness, meditation, intuitive, inside, unconscious, all the stuff we do here. And I love that. I love that to see someone who has been in the forefront of battle and now realizing that there's so much more to us that makes us the people we are. And that's awesome. So have a little look at that one. What else have I got? If you like more talking, I listen to a little bit of the old Making Sense with Sam Harris. Again, not always, not always, but if I want to have a little listen to something different, as well as Jordan B. Peterson. Again, really, two really articulated guys and very thoughtful guys. Now, whether you agree with them or whether you don't, it's good to listen to the other side, isn't it? To get an idea what is, well, what is going on in minds that are great thinkers. I know sometimes I have to have a dictionary beside me to understand the words, but again, it's another expression of learning and the guys are thoughtful and they're positive. So I love that. If you like the Jordan Harbinger show, I love this guy. I've emailed him a few times and he always replies and he's such a, I think just a good down-to-earth guy and natural. And when he has a conversation, and I mean a real conversation, I think those episodes are absolutely brilliant. So have a listen to that. And then the last one, well, it's not the last one, but one I just found a little while ago and it's Think Fast, Talk Smart. It's Talk Smart. It's a lovely podcast and it's all about teaching you how to have a conversation, how to talk, how to communicate. And it gives you some wonderful little tips. And they're not just little tips, they're real solid things that you go, oh, wow. Oh, I know that and I'm bloody not doing it. Well, we talk about that a lot, don't we? On the longer podcast, all the stuff that I don't do and want to do more of. Also, if you really want just a little bit of a laugh, I also listen to the Monday Morning Podcast with Bill Burr. Again, if you want to hear somebody who can articulate, but in such a wonderful, I call it a wonderful way, a lot of swearing in it, that's awesome. But for me, don't care. It's awesome. But to have a guy who can just talk and talk and talk, I think it's an amazing skill. And just to listen to that, something to aspire to, not necessarily the language. Everyone's different taste, but it's so good. And then if you go to Spotify, there's obviously the Joe Rogan, let's do a bit of that. And there's another one I've found, which is, I'll just find it now on my phone, because it's such a good one. It's called the Ass-Breaking Motivation Podcast. And if you want to listen to something that's just going to motivate you, he's got so many good speakers there who just go, some of them shout, some of them do shout at you a little bit. And I think sometimes that's maybe a bit too much. But if I'm getting a little bit down, I just want to get something in my ears that suddenly go, come on, Cloughie, let's get going. That's a great one. So there you go. If you have any podcasts that you think are really good, I'd love to hear from them or hear about them. So if you could send me an email on feedback at personaldevelopmentunplugged.com, I'd love to hear them so I can have a route around, and we can share them too. I think it's so good to, there's so much information around, yet do we really, we get overwhelmed and it's good to have other people sift about for us and go, do you know what, I've listened to this and it's really good. It's a bit like when you get a book, sometimes it's nice to read the reviews and find, actually, not quite what I was thinking. You get a balanced view of it. So there you go. That's just a few things. I just like to share things, what I'm listening to. And I think if you listen to those, as well as this podcast, obviously, there's such a wealth of learning there. And they all seem to be looking after little old planet Earth and trying to do something for all of us. And that theme is something that I'm really powerfully attracted to, and I want it in my life. So hopefully that helps. Just something to share, a bit lighthearted this time, and enjoy. Press the play button on every podcast you can get. And what I would say is though, and the things I try to do, is make bloody notes, so you can remember the good stuff, the golden nuggets, because there's golden nuggets put around everywhere. Okay. Anyway, till the next time, my friend, I will see you, or you'll hear from me, come to my mind of the personal development unplugged kind. Time to fly. Bye-bye. It will help you, and it will help, well, everyone that you know. So if you could just subscribe and share. Share this podcast to everyone you blooming well know. That's the only cost. Pay it forward to everyone. And when you do that, boom, we are all going to make a difference to this little old planet Earth of ours, and the people in it. Let's make a good world. A nice world. Okay. Okay. You can now prepare to leave this unplugged mind. Warning. You are now leaving the unplugged mind of Paul Clough. It's time to fly. Be brave, my friend. Personal development unplugged. Personal development [self improvement] [self development] [NLP] [Hypnosis]
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#453 Kindness The Next Super Power
07/18/2025
#453 Kindness The Next Super Power
Kindness: The Next Superpower Hey my friend—kindness… a superpower? Really? In this longer, deeper episode of the Personal Development Unplugged Podcast, Cloughie explores why kindness is one of the most underrated forces for change—inside and out. In a world that feels increasingly self-centred, reactive, and short-tempered, a simple act of kindness can disrupt the noise and spark real transformation. This is part personal confession (yes, Cloughie admits to being “a bit of a dick”), part gentle wake-up call, and 100% full of practical reflections to help you become more self-assured and more connected to those around you. What you’ll discover: Why kindness isn’t weakness—it’s proof of deep inner strength The surprising return on investment of a small act of kindness How to shift from frustration to compassion (even in traffic!) Why you sometimes forget your own kindness—and how to bring it back to mind A reminder to start by being kind to yourself, because that’s where it all begins How kindness feeds into your personal goals and dreams—if you choose to include it You’ll also be invited to: Reflect on the kindness you've received and how it shaped you Review your day for simple “kindness moments” (smiles count!) Set an intention to actively make the world a better place—starting today This episode isn’t fluffy—it’s practical. It’s a reminder that we don’t need to wait for the world to change. We start with us. One kind moment at a time. Be kind—pass it on: If this touched something in you, share the episode with someone you care about. Subscribe or follow to never miss a moment of mindset magic, deep musings, or a little friendly self-hypnosis. And if you’ve not yet explored all the free hypnosis at , now’s a good time. Because whatever you think you are… you’re more than that. Let’s fly Shine Brightly 🌟 Paul Hey there! I’d love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at . Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review . Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit . Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to . Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure. Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on , Castbox, , YouTube, or on our . Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨ Music Credits Music by Wataboi, DreamHeaven, ccjmusic, and others from . And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism Hey my friend. Kindness, a superpower. Really? This, I think, is one hell of a message to me, and especially what I see around the world and in my own world. And the guy who's knocking all sorts of stuff above me, you may hear his hammer going, but that doesn't matter. I'm going to show a little bit of kindness to him too. But why do I think kindness is a superpower? You see, I think it's our impact, your impact, my impact in such a self-centered world that we live in now. And I have to ask the question, I ask myself the question of myself, why is kindness so hard to show? Or just being kind, hard to do? You know, when you think about kindness, the return on investment, if you want to look at it in business terms, is great. The effect is massive. It affects you in your mind, your body, your emotions, your experiences. It affects other people's experiences, their mind. It affects everything. And that's just people. What about if you're kind to little old planet Earth? Look after planet Earth. And you see, this is what got me. We've all probably been out, if you drive anyway, but something similar. You're driving in a car, someone cuts you up. We're all driving nicely and they just have to push in. They have to push in. And you get, oh, you give it a good old beep on your horn. And maybe your mouth off something and things like that. But, you know, inside you're angry. You're angry. And you chose to be angry though. Did I? Yeah, you chose because you didn't need to be. Because when you think about it, that cutting in probably added a second to your journey. That's it. That's all it did. Maybe two seconds if it was a really big cutting in. So even if you let in, this is what told me a long time ago. Even if you let in, say 30 people into the stream of traffic that you're driving, you're going to be a minute late, a minute later. But you've been kind to 30 people and it will rub off on them because next time they'll let somebody else in. Because it happens that way. Might not get them all, but you'll get most. And I had, to me, it was a horrible example because it was a horrible example of myself not being kind. See, I parked and I thought I parked pretty well. Parked my car and I was just about to go and walk away. And this person came along and said, excuse me, can you just move your car up a little bit, please? I can't get in. And I thought they said it like that. I'm not sure whether they did or not. I thought there was a little bit of tone in their voice. And I looked at them and I thought, well, I will. And I actually said, well, I'll move it, but I'm not moving it very much. I'll only move it a little bit. And then I did. And then I walked away. And as I was walking away, I thought to myself, Cloughie, I'm going to swear here, you're a fucking dick. You're a dick. What the hell's the matter with you? You're moving a car for God's sake, so someone could park their car and make it a little bit safer for everybody. So I turned around, try to make amends, go back and apologise. I thought it was the best thing to do. I want to go back and apologise. They weren't bloody there, were they? They'd gone. Oh, dull. I really wanted to do something, but there I am. They've probably got an impression of me, which isn't the one that I wanted to show. I've got this impression in me that I didn't want to have. I didn't want those feelings. Now I'm guilty. Certainly wasn't kind. But the good thing was the universe, the multiverse had a way of paying it back. Because the very next day, I was just about to pull into a parking space on my way to the gym. And I was waiting to get in because I couldn't get in because there was an old lady there, trying with a trolley, shopping trolley, to get a big bag of compost soil in her car. She couldn't lift it. And she kept looking at me. And I got straight out. I said, Don't worry, don't worry. Let me lift it in for you. This is my turn. And I put it in there and I said, Please don't hurry back. Just take your time. It's not going to interrupt me. And she was so appreciative that someone actually stopped and helped, not just looked. That's what we do sometimes and just watch. And she felt good. Plus, it helped her. And I felt, well, I felt good. But at least I'd made amends. And that was like, something good for me. Because I was really, I was guilty of being a dick. And the thing is, that kindness I showed to that lady, or any kindness we show. Some people think, it's a form of weakness. But how can kindness be weakness? To me, I think it's a show of strength, inner strength, because then you're self-assured. Because you are prepared to help somebody else. You know, it's an act of selfless service. I don't want anything from you. I don't want anything in return. I'm just going to be kind. And if you go back to my previous podcast, not too far away, hashtag 451, all about being self-assured. And you can be self-assured in yourself and exude kindness. You can become that kind person. And I know this is that note to myself. I had to, and I think that's why I wrote all this out, there's some notes about it. But let's dive a little deeper, because I like to take the frame off things now and dive a little deeper. So here's a question to you, to you. Here's a question. Have you ever been kind in your life? Ever, ever, ever, ever, ever? Of course you have. Think of maybe just one time. And what was the effect of showing that kindness? What was the effect? And I know what it was. It would have been massive, even though it might have been hidden a little bit. Because you won't see where the ripples of the effect goes, how far it went into that person, into the people that they love, or the effect that had on their behavior, the effect it had on their emotion, their thoughts, their thoughts about themselves, about you and about others. And following that, just remember, how did you feel? Because it cost you nothing, did it? Well, it cost a little bit of time, a little bit of effort. It didn't really cost you anything. But how did it make you feel? Now, you might say, oh, it made me feel nice, Paul, but get a bit closer to that, closer to that emotion. Because underneath that, oh, it was nice. There's a little bit of awesomeness, isn't there? Just a little bit of awesomeness, because you go, yeah, that felt good. That really felt good. Yeah. I want to ask you another question on a similar vein. Have or has anyone been kind to you, shown kindness to you in your life? Well, I know the answer. Of course, it's yes. And just think, if you think right now, just think back to any one of those specific times, try to be specific, and think, how did you feel when you were shown kindness, an act of kindness? Wasn't it good? Didn't you feel, oh, a little bit special, maybe, or so thankful, gratitude that someone would put themselves out for you? And it might not have been that massive act of kindness, but there isn't really a measure of kindness, is there? Because kindness is just kindness. And it made you feel, well, what did you think about them? What do you think about them? What did you think about that person who showed you that act of kindness? Didn't you just feel so grateful, or maybe there's a bit of respect, underneath there's respect? And the thing is, as we say, how big does an act of kindness have to be? Because it's obviously going to be massive, isn't it? To make an effect. Yeah, of course it does, Paul. What about a smile? Well, just a simple smile as you walk along. That's kindness, isn't it? Just to acknowledge somebody, a nice smile. Hey, how you doing? Good to see you. That's nice, isn't it? Especially if it's genuine, of course, it's got to be genuine. But just that real genuine smile, I'm pleased to see you. Makes you feel good, doesn't it, when someone does it to you? Have you noticed when you smile at somebody, they smile back? And you can see on their face, there is a warmth there. Maybe just a helping hand, maybe just a helping hand, just lifting something, opening a door, just being careful, just giving a little bit of help. And it can go from all that to saving lives. Because you don't know what your act of kindness might do, because that person might be on a downer. And you've just shown them the door, the door to life. And you didn't know it. And suddenly you've become a lifesaver without knowing it. And you didn't know how far the ripples of your kindness would go. And you never will, you never do. And it doesn't matter. It's that act of selfless service, which you just do for no want of reward. But you just know, you're going to feel good about it. And that's the thing about it, you just feel good yourself. And it's really, I guess, and this is a reminder to myself, I know, seeing the opportunity. And thinking about all of this, I was reminded of a story, a true story, told by a guy called Geoff Thompson, who is a lovely man who does lots of kind things. And he was getting a little bit frustrated about seeing all the, call it ills of the world, where you're getting like politicians who were taking things and not being true and all the falseness in the world. And he was getting upset and his wife just said to him, look, Geoff, look out your window. He said, what about the window? He said, look out the window. This is where you live. This is where you can make a difference. This is where you do make a difference. The people that pass by. And also you make a difference to the people who email you, you take time out to speak to them, to write to them. So you can make a difference. Maybe you won't change those big things straight away, but you can make a difference at this level. Everyone can make a difference at this level. So in some ways, what I'm saying is, can we incorporate part of our self-development or within our self-development, the act of kindness, which means actively incorporating within our goals, our dreams, and our daily actions. You see, we know when you look to a goal, a dream, an aim in mind, we always look for that ecology. Every process that I do here and with a client has ecology in mind. Good for them, which is good for you. Good for others, the people around you and little old planet earth. So one thing you have to do, I think, when you think about incorporating kindness, we need to go through that ecology. So when we're incorporating kindness into our dreams, our goals, our aims in mind, our daily actions, anything that we're doing with when we set our intention, we should first of all be kind to ourselves. Because if you can't be kind to yourself, you can't really be kind to others. You have to start with yourself. And that is doing things like stop berating yourself if you feel you haven't lived up to your standards, your values. Just stop, pause, take some time out. Ask yourself, well, what can I learn from that? How can I do it differently? Maybe treat yourself, just be kind, don't be a big treat, just treat yourself with a little bit of time, something special just for you. Be kind to yourself. What about others? Well, keep a lookout, keep a lookout for opportunities. Opportunities to be kind each day. You might want to set a target of a minimum of one thing, a day of kindness. And then when you review each day, you can actually go, well, where was I kind today? Maybe there'll be more than one when you do that. I think there will. And how did it make me feel when I did it? Because when you relive that feeling again, your unconscious mind gets it and looks for more. And then you can just also review, well, when were others kind to me? And how did that make me feel? And when you do that, again, your unconscious mind gets it, it looks for opportunities for that kindness to come into your life. So this is just basically a reminder, I guess, certainly a reminder for me to be kinder in the world. So if you could, it'd be nice if you just set your intention to create a better world, a better you. For me, I want to be a better Paul. Maybe you could be a better you with a little bit of active, loving kindness. There you go. That's it. Is it soppy? I don't think so. I'd love to share this with the people that you know, your contacts, maybe do it on social media. If you would, that'd be good. Let people know about the things that we do here at Personal Development Unplugged and the podcast and all the other stuff with all that free hypnosis that you and if you would share that, subscribe and all that stuff. But if you would, it would be great if you did to pay it forward. That would be really, really, really, really, really kind. But this is just a reminder. I know I've talked about it before, but it's just, I think sometimes we just in this world, when we look at the news and what's happening in it, we need to start where we can make the best effect. So there you go. I'd love to hear about it. If you can email me feedback at personaldevelopmentunplugged.com. I'd love to hear your thoughts about this. The things that you've noticed when you reviewed, how it made you feel, the effect and what your plans are. And if there's anything that you have an issue with, let me know and we'll do a special episode just for that issue right now. Okay. So go fly. We all need time to de-stress, don't we? We all need that space. Everyone needs space. Our own place of personal retreat and going to retreats are great. But if you can't, why not have one in your mind? You know, if you don't go to that special place, that stress just builds and builds but if you have a place in your mind where you can go and de-stress, work out problems, think of all the wonderful things that you'll be able to do. The wonderful feelings. So that's why I've created this program of four hypnosis tracks to build and be and have your own inner retreat. You can have whatever you like in that inner retreat. There could be rooms, there could be libraries, healing rooms, different lighting, maybe a fire in the corner, a special chair, maybe incense, anything that you choose. Some people have a computer that stores all the memories you've ever had, that library of everything you've ever read or everything you ever need to know. Maybe a healing room, room where you can just go to and have your own inner healing or own inner relaxation. So what have I done? I've created these four tracks, one to build, one to extend it whenever you need to extend it and then to be able to go there for a particular period of time or even a longer period of time. So you've got two tracks of just going and being in that special place where you can, you know, take a problem with you, maybe muse it over in that special place or you can leave it there. Leave it to incubate in your unconscious mind so when you come back, well you can just have the answers come or they might just come consciously. It's all there for you. All you have to do is go to poolclubonline.com forward slash retreat, have a look, give you a nice little video there, just see if it's for you. I think it's a lovely little program. There's nothing to lose because there's a 30-day money back guarantee. It's a lovely program and I think it was one I wanted to do for myself because I just thought it's just a wonderful thing to do. I love retreats but hey, this is your own personal one. Have a look. Enjoy. Transcribed by . to remove this message. Personal development [Unplugged] [podcast][NLP][Hypnosis][self development]self improvement][awareness]
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FMQ 504 I'm Stupid I don't understand - They're stupid they don't understand me
07/15/2025
FMQ 504 I'm Stupid I don't understand - They're stupid they don't understand me
“I’m Stupid — I Don’t Understand / They’re Stupid — They Don’t Understand Me” Another Five-Minute Quickie for those deeper musings… Ever thought “they just don’t get me” or “I must be thick because I don’t get them”? Here’s a fresh lens: The meaning of your communication is the response you get — a golden presupposition of NLP. In this episode, we dive into: Why it’s your responsibility to be understood How feeling misunderstood (or stupid) is a communication challenge, not a personal flaw Simple ways to change the way you speak so your message lands A mindset shift to stop blaming others (or yourself) when communication fails The power of reflection and “musing over a G&T” to grow your emotional intelligence If you’ve ever felt unheard or misjudged, this episode is your 10-minute reframe. Press play. Muse. Learn. Share. Subscribe, follow, and most of all — share this with someone who needs it. Let’s spread better communication, understanding, and kindness, one listen at a time. Shine Brightly 🌟 Paul Hey there! I’d love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at . Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review . Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit . Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to . Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure. Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on , Castbox, , YouTube, or on our . Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨ Music Credits Music by Wataboi, DreamHeaven, ccjmusic, and others from . And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism So back with another five minute quickie slowdown, lovely. And it's another presupposition of NLP. A useful assumption. And what's it going to be about? Forget the NLP bit, it's neuro-linguistic programming. I love the funny thing. It's so associated with hypnosis as well and it's what I do. But I'm going to explain this thing. One of these useful assumptions and it is very simple. It says the meaning of the communication is the response you get. You see, who's responsible for understanding? Who's responsible for understanding? It's a weird question, isn't it? I mean, there are people, and you might be one of them, I know I am, that will say something and someone doesn't get it. And you go, oh, come on. You just don't get it. What is the matter with you? Are you stupid? Well, you might not say stupid, but you might bloody think it, don't you? What's the matter with them? Why don't they get it? It's their responsibility to get it. No, it isn't their responsibility. It's bloody yours. You're giving this communication out. And if they don't get it, that's you. Because you didn't get the response you want, you need to change your style of communication, the way you do it. Because I had these experiences before where people would be working in the building industry and people would talk to the lads on the tools. But they'd talk to them in pictures. They'd talk to them in very specific details. And those guys use their hands. They want things described how they're going to do things. Because if you keep saying, well, if you think of that picture, what it's going to be like when we're finished, they haven't got a bloody clue. They want to know how you pick something up, how you want it to be done. And when I explained this to people who were not getting the results, they changed. Guess what? Their communication was brilliant. It's so simple. But the simple thing is, the difficult thing is, there's simplicity, there's genius, but it makes it bloody difficult sometimes. It's hard to do. You have to do it. It's easy but hard because you have to think. And this is where the musing comes from. Am I getting my message across? Am I getting my message across the way I want it to be received? Because it's not their responsibility. It's mine. And in the same way, if someone is talking to you and you don't understand it and you go, oh, I must be such a klutz. I'm so dumb. I'm stupid. I just don't understand it. No, that's their responsibility. If they're using words that you don't understand, then they're an idiot. Well, they're not an idiot. They're behaving like an idiot because they are not adapting their communication to you so you can understand it. Now, I know you can help them by saying, what the bloody hell do you mean? Can you explain it in a different way? That'd be a better way. I'm not getting this. Can you explain it in a different way for me? Little things like that. So this is the musing. Are there instances that you've had in the recent past where you've tried to explain something and it didn't go in the way you wanted it? The musing is, how can I change what I said to allow that message to be received in the way I intended it to be? That's one way. Or is there something that when I was listening to somebody else that I didn't get, how could I have responded in a way that would get them to understand that they're doing it in a way that is not working? They have to change their communication in order for me to understand. It's not my responsibility to understand. I just got to get it. And when we learn those things and muse about them, the next time it happens, you say, am I explaining this properly? Am I explaining this in a way that you understand it? I'm getting the feeling that you're not getting what I want, what I'm trying to put over. Okay, let me put it in another way. Or I'm really interested in the subject, but I don't quite get the words you're using. Can you use them in my language so I can get it? And when you get those type of things in your musings, next time, because you can imagine it happening, next time you start to learn better. Because then you get to learn how to converse with people, communicate with people, because you're getting the response you aim for. Or you're learning from other people. I mean, one little side thing. People in NLP use some bloody weird words. And the most confusing thing is when you're reading one of their books, and you have to keep looking up the words. Damn, that just destroys everything, doesn't it? It comes so hard to do. It's an effort. You have to put energy in trying to not understand the concept, but understand the bloody words they're using. And it's gone. You're off with the fairies. You're dreaming of something else. I'm in my head thinking, la la la la la. And that's not the intention that they wanted, or the thing that they wanted. And ideally, they could have something that you could learn from and use in the future. So somebody muses over your coffee. These assumptions, useful assumptions, the meaning of communication, the response is the response it gets. That's so useful. Instead of just moaning about other people, no, they just don't get it. Oh, I must be so stupid because I didn't get it. No. Have a think. Muse over your coffee. You know what I'm going to say next. Over your G&T. There's the other one. The iced vodka. Oh my goodness. Sit back, chill. That's the way I do it. But you might be a glass of water person. It doesn't matter. But when you've got a few minutes in the day just to take a breath, take a pause, because that always works, to and here's something you can do while you're pausing. To recalibrate, to just get yourself in in the next wonderful state. And you learn on the way. So we're using musings to learn. That's what the five-minute quick is about. I hope I made, I made it. I hope my communication got the response that I was wanting for you to get maybe curious of how you can change the way you speak and notice when you're not being understood or being or understanding. If you would, that'd be great. Let me know. Let me know if I did. Feedback at personaldevelopmentunplugged.com. That's my email. I'd love to hear your thoughts on this. You know, do you think they're bloody, these are useful assumptions are absolutely rubbish or what more have you got, Cloughie? Because there are more. And yeah, I just love your feedback of how this is going and if there's anything else you want. So if you could do that and oh, by the way, press subscribe, press follow, all those things. And baby, now this is, I want to be really clear now. Have you shared? Shared this, this podcast? There you go. Something to muse even more. Have fun. Have fun, my friend. See you soon. So before you leave this unplugged mind of mine, this hypnotic mind, if you enjoyed this podcast or any of the other podcasts, please do subscribe. It helps this podcast grow and affect so many more people. And we love to leave everyone in a better place than we found them. And this will help help the podcast. It will help you and it everyone that you know. So if you could just subscribe and share, share this podcast to everyone you know. That's the only cost. Pay it forward to everyone. And when you do that, boom, we are all going to make a difference to this little old planet Earth of ours and the people in it. Let's make a good world, a nice world. Okay. Okay. You can now prepare to leave this unplugged mind. Warning. You are now leaving the unplugged mind of Paul Clough. It's time to fly now. Be brave, my friend. Personal development unplugged. Transcribed by . Personal development [Unplugged] [podcast][NLP][Hypnosis][self development]self improvement][awareness]
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#452 The Key To Unlocking Your Potential
07/11/2025
#452 The Key To Unlocking Your Potential
The Key To Unlocking Your Potential What if everything you want is already within you—just waiting for permission to emerge? In this unplugged deep dive, I share the true, no-fluff key to unlocking your potential… and it’s not just motivational fluff or clickbait—it’s practical, doable, and wildly empowering. You'll explore: What potential really is (and the Latin origin may surprise you) Why you’re not living up to it (yet) How to smash that invisible box of limiting beliefs A simple 10-minute imagination exercise that can change everything How to prime your unconscious mind for success The tiny, powerful decision that turns dreaming into doing No guru-speak. No hype. Just honest tools to unlock your inner power and go further than you thought possible. Because your potential isn’t fixed. It’s only limited by one thing… and it’s time to break that. "You choose to empower yourself. I’ll give you the key—you turn it." — Cloughie Listen now and take the first step toward your true, limitless self. Share this with your friends, start a WhatsApp group like Paul’s boys did, and spread the power of potential. Shine Brightly 🌟 Paul Hey there! I’d love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at . Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review . Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit . Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to . Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure. Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on , Castbox, , YouTube, or on our . Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨ Music Credits Music by Wataboi, DreamHeaven, ccjmusic, and others from . And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism And what a title, eh? What a title. The Key to Unlocking Your Potential. And it's not clickbait, by the way. It's not clickbait, because I do have a key. But think of this, though, first, as a question to you. Why is unlocking your potential, my potential, anybody's potential, important? I know we think it's obvious. And it's also probably hiding in plain sight. Because there's a question. Do you ever ask yourself, am I living up to my potential? Well, I'm guessing you probably don't. It could be just me, though. I don't know. It could be just me. I know I don't. I don't ask that. I strive for it sometimes. I strive for it the best I can, set my intentions. But do I ever look back and go, was I really living up to my potential? The other question we never ask is, what would happen if we did? What would happen if we did ask that? Are we living up to our potential? And again, the answer is probably bloody not. Or is that just me again? Because when we get into what really potential is, we can never actually be living it, I guess. But we can strive to be better than we were. And we have that striving to live to our potential, be living a life with the aim of being over our potential, up to our potential. If I'm trying to get the words right, you see, if you just think that with me, just for a moment, what would it be like? What would it be like if you were living a life, living up to your potential? What would it be like? What would you feel? What would it feel like when you're doing all the things you want to do? And they're probably way beyond your thoughts at this moment. Because we're not probably living up to our potential anyway. So what would our potential be? But if we could just shake off any limits in our head, in our mind, what might you be doing? What would your potential allow you to do? What would it attract you to? Just for a moment, I'm sure you're thinking about it just as I am. Imagine it now. Now take off those shackles, any limiting beliefs, because they're the buggers that, well, they just get in the way, don't they? Just imagine if you took away every limiting belief that you have. You forgot about all those negative experiences of the past. And you were doing the thing or things you were meant to be doing on this world, living up to your potential. What might you be doing? Yeah, it's hard to see sometimes, but if you, I can know if I can't see exactly what I might be doing. I know it'd be at least minimum, twice as much as I'm doing now. I'd be twice as successful as I am now. And I don't mean successful as in, oh, you're big, you're getting all this, you're doing that. No, twice as successful in the things that I want to do. I'd be achieving twice as much as I set out to do. I'd be reaping the benefits of that. And that could be in richness as in monetary, but it could be richness in experiences, meeting people, learning from people, mentoring people, getting taught, being a mentee, because you would put yourself out there because you'd want to make sure that you are living that life. Play with it just for a moment. So take off those shackles, limiting beliefs, just disappear, past experiences disappear. And if you could have whatever you wanted, which is in some ways potential, what might you see? What might you hear? And then just feel it, feel it, feel what it might be like. And that's just to whet your appetite. That's just a snippet. You see, I think we need to, there's so many questions here. What limits your potential? You know, think about it now, what does or what is limiting your potential? And for me, my thoughts were, it's a box we allow ourselves to live in. We choose to live in. Choose, choose to live in a box. Yeah, a box where we let past experiences define us. And those past experiences create limiting beliefs. And most of those limiting beliefs are not even our own. Where do we get them from? Well, we either got them from other people, mainly our parents. Where do they get them from? Well, maybe their parents and their grandparents and grand, all those generations ago and the world is changing so much. Those limiting beliefs are just what they are. They're limiting beliefs, trying to do a good thing for you. I know, but they're no longer appropriate. And we're choosing to allow them to be the walls of this box that we choose to live in. And I'm picking my words quite carefully, you're choosing to live in. And it could be me, by the way. But I know this is like just being safe sometimes in this box. It feels safe in the way that which is not a comfort zone. It's just a zone that we we just know it. We just know we're here. And we don't want to go above or outside the boundaries. And to keep you in there. We'll even have those wonderful beliefs either. I'm not good enough, that'll keep you in the box. Or I'll never be good enough. Oh, shit. That's even going to take you even further into the future because I'll never be good. I'm not just right now. Right now, I'm not good enough. But in the future, I'm not good enough. And it's any of all that any of all that any of all that true. No, it's bloody bullshit, isn't it? We know it now. But we're choosing to live in this box made up of these limiting beliefs made up from past experiences. And the past is a bloody past and the past is gone. We can learn from them. So we get even better in the future, not unlearn from them, as it were, and make the box even stronger. Now I know on certain things, I've managed to do that. I managed to change some limiting beliefs, because by the way, I do all this for a living. Therapy, NLP and all that stuff. But yeah, I'm a human as well. Guess what? I'm a human. And yeah, things come and blindside us, but you work at it. You can change but sometimes you have to work really hard. Because even though these processes are easy, they're not complicated. I don't do complicated processes. But they do take effort, that effort is rewarded so much. And that effort is really just sometimes just choosing by setting your intention. And I think we can all see that little box just imagines now being in that box, which is strengthened by those limiting beliefs, and now the lack of imagination. And I can understand that. Let's give us give ourselves just a little bit of ease there. Because we've had that, excuse me, we've had that imagination knocked out of us by those experiences, by other people. We've listened to other people, we've been affected by the noise outside. But I've decided, I've decided that's not going to happen. No more. Not going to happen to you, not going to happen to me. And it's not going to happen to you if you choose, just sitting in this moment, just for a moment, to play. Play with your mind, play with your imagination. And then let's just see what happens. Let's just see what happens. So just for a moment, look around, look around and notice everything that you can see. Yeah, the chair, the lights, maybe you're looking at a computer, maybe you've got your telephone out or whatever it is. But even outside that, everything you see, everything you see was first an idea. And that idea was sparked by imagination and then action. And that imagination and action was supported by the belief of something like, I can do this. Ah, I get to do that. I get to do this. Everything you see, absolutely everything, everything you read about, even the book, even whatever, all started with an idea sparked by imagination. And the most, well, they're really powerful beliefs, but they're really subtle. They're just, I can do this. Because when you believe I can do this, you bloody can. Right, the technical bit, sort of technical. I had to look at what potential is, as in the definition, because I thought, well, we can talk about potential all you like, but what are we actually talking about? And I looked at the Latin. Yeah, I didn't understand a word of it, but I did find out potential is being able, which allows you to have power and currently unrealised ability. Now think of that currently unrealised ability, which means you have the ability, but it's just unrealised. Because you are able and when you are able, and you do realise this, you have power, which is your potential. And it's unlimited, by the way. There is only one limit on your potential. And there's only one person who can limit that potential. You know the answer. So frigging obvious, it's you, but it's a limit of your imagination. Who puts a limit on your imagination? That fucking box that we created, we chose. So if we chose it, we created it, we can just let it disappear now. Because you have the ability. You're just not realising yet. Yet, yet, capital Y-E-T, yet. You see, I made a note, who sets the limit to your potential? And I just wrote fucking you. Sorry about the swearing, but I did. You and the use of your imagination. Who sets a limit on your imagination? I actually wrote fucking you again. Just me, all me. I'm talking about myself, by the way. Because it's like when I write these notes, I'm writing notes to myself. It's like sometimes my unconscious mind gives me a good kick out the backside. And that's it, full stop. That's all there is. It's you. It's me. I limit my potential. You're limiting yours. And I don't care. You might say, yeah, but I'm the most successful person in the world. You could have more if you wanted it. If you choose not to, there you go. That's fine. But I think we could all do something better. Even if you're wonderful in career, maybe we could have a better relationship. Maybe if we had a better relationship, we could maybe become a better mentor. If we were a better mentor, we could help people. We could do things. The limit of your imagination of what your potential is, is for you to find. Not the limit that is, but what your potential and your direction is. And how do you do that? You have to suspend those limiting beliefs. Park them. That's shit anyway. They're not doing any good. Oh, I'm not good enough. I'll never be good enough. Who bloody knows? Nobody. So, suspend those limiting beliefs. Park them. You can bring them back later if they're going to serve you. Bloody not, are they? But anyway, then just give yourself permission to dream. That's all it is. Dreaming. And because it's only dreaming, it's not an issue. You can't have an issue of, I'm not good enough, I'll never be good enough, because it's a bloody dream. And if you're dreaming, it's possible. If you dream something that is possible, it makes it possible in your head. So give yourself permission to dream. That's all we're doing. Dreaming at the moment. Not telling you to do anything, just dream. And how do you do that? You unlock your imagination. Because again, it's just dreaming, using your imagination. And that's the answer. This is the answer. This is how you find that key. Don't know what the lock is. I do, but this is the key. So think, just for a moment. And these are some things I was thinking. You know, how do we do this then? It's all very well for Cluffy to say, oh, just suspend those limiting beliefs, park them over there, and dream and use your imagination. We'll do it this way. Put 10 minutes aside. 10 minutes, Cluffy? I haven't got 10 minutes. You've got half an hour to doom scroll. You've got 10 minutes to stop doom scrolling and dream. Because I guarantee you, once you start dreaming, you will start to see things, maybe online, maybe in books, maybe hear things from a podcast, maybe the personal development type. Unplugged, that is. Things will be attracted to you. But when you dream for 10 minutes, I want you to give yourself total freedom to create. What does that mean? There's no critic. There is no criticism. Oh, that can't be done. Oh, that's not an option. No criticism, no self critique. Nobody else gets to see this, by the way. So you've got nothing to worry about. No imposter syndrome here, because it's a piece of paper and a pen and a pencil or whatever you want. Write it down. You could do it on a computer. But that's pretty anal. Use your hands and a pen. They'll flow. It'll flow. And take 10 minutes to just dream. What could I do? What would I want to do? If I had no limits, what would I start doing now? If I could do it now, what would it be? What belief could I have that would support me on it? What would be the most supportive belief to allow me to do this? And it's just your imagination. It's just a dream. So it could be anything. And things like I get to do this. I've got this. I can learn. I don't know all of this, but I could learn. And then you go, well, I wonder what my potential is. What direction would my potential take me? How do you use your life? How do you use your body, your mind, your words? I always like to leave a little bit for selfless service. How can I serve people with what I know? Because everybody wants to know what you know, if they don't know it. And write it down. Don't just think. Just let that pen go. Don't let it stop writing, basically. For 10 minutes, just let that pen just keep going and going and going. First few might be a bit random. I'm not sure about it. Keep going. And all of a sudden things will start happening. And even as you get one, you might go, oh, well, what that allowed me to do? Or what would that bring? And just keep going. You're not trying to find the how. You're not trying to find the why. You're not trying to find anything like that. You're just imagining. You're dreaming. If I was living to my true potential, what form might that take? What direction might that take? You can also put, you know, what would that give me? What would that get me to do? What would be the next bit? What opportunities? What people would I see? And then when you've done that for 10 minutes, you can take a breath. Now, you could go doom strolling. I think I said that right. Doom scrolling or anything else. Sometimes it's good to go for a walk just for a moment, get it out of your head. But effectively, I want you to set another few minutes aside and give yourself permission again to pick one. Pick one that excites you. And it may be totally out of this world, but it excites you. Well, I could never do that. No, that's a criticism. That's a limiting belief that created that bloody box we used to live in. This is imagination. This is dreaming. No limit on your imagination. No limit on your dream. So just pick one, one that just comes out of the page and excites you. Close your eyes. It's easy to close your eyes. And then imagine doing it. Imagine doing it now. You've learned all this stuff, or you're learning this stuff. You're on your way. This is one of the steps. See what you'd see. See it now. Hear what's going on. Maybe there's a smell, a taste, I don't know. And then feel. Feel what it would be like when you're doing it. Because this is the essence of this dream. The feeling. The feeling of the wish fulfilled, we call it. But this feeling that you generate through your dreams, your imagination is going straight into your unconscious mind. And as you say the words, this or something better, your best friend, your unconscious mind, it's going to find ways. It will. It will find ways. The reticulating activating system, which is biological, will start to notice your unconscious mind and your conscious mind will start to notice things that are attracted to that dream, that imagination. Opportunities will appear. Coincidences will be there. Because you'll start taking action. Yeah. And the thing is, how long did it take? It took 10 minutes sitting down quietly. No distractions. Oh, wow. If nothing else, 10 minutes of quiet with no distractions. And just being able to play is awesome. And then taking two minutes to imagine doing it now. And you can do those two minutes anytime, anywhere. You can just sit down and imagine. And what are we doing when we're imagining? We're priming, priming our unconscious mind. We're priming our imagination even more. Because the more you do this, your imagination muscle gets bigger, stronger, better. You get to enjoy it even more. When you enjoy it even more, you get, you just get better at it because you can't get not better at it because you, it's just yours, your imagination. And it'll just work. Now, having said all of that, all of that, having said all of that, you have to make a decision. And what's that decision? You have to choose something. You're going to have to choose what you're going to do next. Now, if you've ever listened to me and listened to the thing I talk about called the five keys to success, you can, I've even got a hypnosis track on it, I think at paulcloughonline.com forward slash podcast. And it's five...
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FMQ 503 How to Know If you Or Someone Else Has Changed
07/08/2025
FMQ 503 How to Know If you Or Someone Else Has Changed
How to Know If You or Someone Else Has Changed Have You Really Changed? In this five-minute muse, we dive into one of the simplest ways to know if you've truly changed… and most of us miss it. You’ll explore the power of behaviour as the only real measure of change — and why we often forget the progress we’ve made. It's time to reflect, reset, and maybe even celebrate the changes you didn’t know you'd already made. Let’s pause, ponder, and grow — one convenient assumption at a time. And then share what you learn Oh and to see me recording this click here Shine Brightly 🌟 Paul Hey there! I’d love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at . Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review . Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit . Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to . Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure. Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on , Castbox, , YouTube, or on our . Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨ Music Credits Music by Wataboi, DreamHeaven, ccjmusic, and others from . Personal development [Unplugged] [podcast][NLP][Hypnosis][self development]self improvement][awareness]
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#451 The Blue Print To Confidence and Self Assurity
07/04/2025
#451 The Blue Print To Confidence and Self Assurity
The REAL Path to Self-Confidence: Why There's No "Blueprint" But Steps to Self-Assurity That Actually Work What This Episode Is Really About Let's get one thing straight right off the bat - there's no such thing as a confidence blueprint. If someone's selling you that, it's clickbait, pure and simple. But here's what I can give you: a real, honest look at self-assurity and how to build it from the ground up. You see, I've been where you are. I remember being at the peak of my confidence in my career - I couldn't do anything wrong, just knew I had it all figured out. Until I didn't. Something unexpected happened, boom, that confidence bloody went. Completely went. So where did it go? Well, stick around because I'll tell you about that. Self-Assurity vs The Confidence Myth Here's the thing about self-assurity - it's different from confidence. Self-assurance is being confident in the things you say and do because you're sure of your abilities. I love this little saying: being confident in your competence. Your competence is your abilities, isn't it? And when you're confident in your competence, you're self-assured. But it doesn't have to be in everything. If you haven't got the abilities, you can't be confident in them. That's where mastery comes in - doing what you know and knowing what you do. That's being confident in the things you say and do because you're sure of your abilities. There are people who know it but don't do it. And there are others who do what they don't know and think they're confident - but that's just overconfidence getting into the realms of stupidity. Becoming More Self-Assured You already have self-assurance - you just want a bit more. And that's all about knowing what you want. You need a target to aim for. If you know what you know, then you probably know what you don't know. Then you can decide what you want to know. What could you aim for? Maybe you want to be more social, deal with that social anxiety that's holding you back. Maybe you want to speak out more at meetings, express yourself in a group, maybe even do a podcast. Perhaps you want a better job, a promotion, more friends, a partner, or just to learn a particular skill. You name it, fill in the blank. The Process That Actually Works First question: Where the hell are we now? Where are we in relation to the thing we want? We need to know where we're starting from. Don't get overconfident and think you're further along than you are. Think about what qualities you have. Don't be shy about this - no one's going to read them. What do you know? What have you learned? What have you done before? What have other people said? Get a feeling for where you are now and all the good stuff you already have. Next question: What does what we want look like? And it's more than just looking. What would it look like when you've got it? What would you hear? How would that feel? You've got to know it feels right. Jump into the future and ask yourself - if I had it now, what would it feel like? What would it enable you to do? When you see the difference between where you are now and what it would look like, ask yourself: What do I need to bridge that gap? If this seems difficult, try this simple question: If this was really easy, what would that be like? Sometimes we overcomplicate things when the answer is right there. What You Need to Learn Everyone knows someone who's sure of themselves. They're grounded, strong, and they have that inner strength because they're sure of their abilities. So, what abilities do you need to learn? Where are you going to get them? Where are you going to learn them? Maybe it's getting the skill of talking, being able to open a conversation with somebody. That one little skill could change everything. Write these things down because you need to know what you need to learn. Start small. If you can do one small step, and you can because you want this, you know what it'll feel like, you've got the motivation, and if you master that one small step, you'll have confidence in your competence for that step. Taking Action That Counts Once you've got that goal in mind, you start taking action. It's an intuitive action, but also a thoughtful action. Continued action. As you do that, you become aware of where you are now because you've moved along the road toward your goal. You become flexible because you start thinking about what else you might need to learn. You're not rigid in your approach - you have flexibility because of your awareness and the action you're taking. You can also act as if you have it now. When you visualize yourself doing it, you'll know how you'll be in your physiology, how you'll walk, how you'll talk. You'll know your psychology, the way you think. The Ripple Effect Here's what's amazing - when you're aiming for this one thing and building self-assurance in this area, it generalises into other areas of your life. You become more self-assured in different areas you weren't even aware of. You might be working on being more social, but suddenly you're getting on better at work, leading things, contributing more in meetings, and making more friends. From Thinking to Doing If this has got you thinking, I want that thinking to turn into doing. Start with this program: Get it down on paper. Where are you? Where do you want to go? What would it look like? What do you need to learn? Start a program and schedule of learning those things. Don't just listen to this and go "Yeah, sounds really good, Paul. I know all this." No - go and do it. And if you need help, you know what to do. Email me at [email protected]. Share what you know, share your journey, share your adventure. When you tell other people what you've learned and how you're using what you've learnt, you become more self-assured. They get to know about it and you inspire them as well. You can even mentor someone - help them learn the things you've learned. The Truth About Blueprints This isn't a blueprint - never was going to be. I don't think there is a blueprint for self-confidence. But it is a way, a process of achieving self-assurity, being sure of yourself. And this process is adaptable and flexible to you. I've broken it down into simple steps, easy steps. But simple and easy steps still take effort and energy. Once you start making little inroads into those steps, your confidence starts to build, and those steps get bigger. You go from a crawl to a walk to a run and a skip and a hop. Then it spreads to different areas of your life and becomes unconscious. Resources and Next Steps If you need deeper work at an unconscious level, check out my Supreme Inner Confidence program at paulcloughonline.com. For serious issues causing distress or panic, see a one-to-one therapist - find someone who's a master hypnotist, master practitioner of NLP, timeline therapy. Share this podcast if it resonated with you. Let's get everyone feeling good about themselves in the right way. Make this little old planet Earth a better place to live for you, me, and everyone else. Get access to my hypnosis tracks at paulcloughonline.com/podcast - they're all downloadable so you can use them anywhere, anytime. Ready to build real self-assurance? Your journey starts now. Go fly, my friend. Contact: [email protected] Free Hypnosis Tracks: paulcloughonline.com/podcast Shine Brightly Paul Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure. And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism So the longer podcast, and is there such a thing as a confidence blueprint? Really, I know I said so in the title, but if there was such a thing as a confidence blueprint, I think you'd just find it's clickbait. You know, think about it, the one and only way to confidence, hmm, yeah, I don't think so. You see, I'm thinking about confidence, and it reminded me when I was one of the most confident people, confident Cloughie in my career. I was so confident, couldn't do anything wrong, I just knew, I just knew, until I wasn't. Something unexpectedly happened, and boom, that confidence bloody went, completely went. But where did it go? And I'm going to talk to you about that a little bit later, right at the end. But you see, the title also says, steps to self-assurity. That sounds a little different. So what's, what is self-assurity? Well, it's all about, I guess, being confident in the things that you say and do. Because you're just sure of your abilities. I think that's what self-assurity is, being confident in the things you say and do, because you're sure in your abilities. And I've always put that down to something, I love this, this little saying, being confident in your competence, because your competence is your abilities, isn't it? And if you're confident in your competence, you're self-assured. But it doesn't have to be in everything, does it? Because if you haven't got the abilities, you can't be confident in them. But you can be a master, and we've talked about mastery before, doing what you know and knowing what you do. That to me is then being confident in the things that you say and do, because you're sure of your abilities, because you are mastering the things that you do know, and you're actually doing them. And you know, there are some people who just, they know it, but they don't do it. And there are other people who do what they don't know, and they think they're confident, but that's just over-confident and getting onto, well, maybe the realms of stupidity. So, let's just think now, becoming more self-assured, because you already have self-assurance, you just want a little bit more. And that's all about knowing what you want, isn't it? You need a target to aim for, because if you know what you know, you probably then, if you thought about it, know what you don't know. And then you can decide what you want to know. It's getting in circles here. And when you set that target, you can start to learn. And then you become more confident in your competence, because you know what you're doing and doing what you know, because you're confident in the things that you now say and do, because you're sure of your abilities. Wow, that went round, didn't it? So, what are the things you could aim for? Well, you could aim to be a therapist. Yay! I mean, I didn't aim to do that initially, but hey, I'm very confident in my abilities of being a therapist now. Yeah, so I'm self-assured. And I think that comes, well, I know it comes across. But it could be so many other things. It could be to be more social. You know, that social anxiety, holding you back. But if you were self-assured about you, you know, and had that self-assurance about yourself, what you say and do, then you could be more social. That leads to things like speaking out more, maybe at meetings, maybe expressing yourself in a group. Maybe doing things like a podcast. Maybe you want to get a better job or get a promotion in your career. Maybe you'd like more friends. See, I said plural, not a, you might want a special friend, but just more friends. Maybe you want a partner. Or maybe you just want to learn a particular skill. You name it, you fill in the blank. Because these are all things we could aim for. Using what we know already and learn new ways. But we need a target. We need an aim in mind. We need a bullseye. So I keep saying so now, I don't know, where's that come from? I think we all experience unconfidence. And I don't know if that's a word, but I know what I think it means. When thinking about a goal, when thinking about an aim in mind, why is that? My thoughts are, well, we have to admit to ourselves that we haven't got there. And here's the thing when we say things like we haven't got there, and we get that that little bit of guilt or sadness or whatever it is, we missed the word off yet. We have to admit that we haven't got there yet. Oh, that sounds different. Yeah, so we just need an aim. Know that we haven't got there yet. And that's the whole point of doing this because we haven't got there yet, but we will. Now, if this thing about self-assurity is a big thing, self-confidence is a big thing, and it is causing you distress, maybe panic and things like that, then I think you really ought to go and see a therapist. That would be my advice. A one-to-one therapist, get in there, get it sorted. You know what I say, find someone who's a master hypnotist, master practitioner of NLP, timeline therapy, and boom, they'll help you really, really quickly. Or if it's not as big as that, and it's just you want some help to do it by yourself, obviously, I've got my supreme inner confidence program, paulcloughonline.com. I think it's confidence, it's a slash confidence, but you'll find it if you go to the front sheet, the landing page. But that's for dealing with it at an unconscious level, the things where your unconscious mind is trying to do something and it's not quite working, all that stuff. But I'm not selling that. Well, I am, obviously, but this is not the sales pattern for that. But all I'm saying is there are, we've got a couple of things if this is really, really, really big. But if it's not, and also, this will help you anyway. Either way, if it's big, just by thinking this through, doing this little process I'm thinking of, it will help you. It will loosen the model of your world. It might even get you what you want there and then. So what are we going to do? Well, now we've set out our aim in mind, yeah? We've got this thing that we want to do. We want to learn. We want to achieve, be able to, all that stuff. That thing about being and doing, more social, speaking out more, all that stuff, getting a partner, friends. So you have to think, I think, in questions. I love questions. But first of all, let's ask the question, where the hell are we now? Where are we now in relation to the thing that we want? Because we need to know where we're start from. We don't want to get overconfident and think we're further along the line. Well, I'm nearly there. Now, where are we now? And one way of when you think about where we are in relation to where you want to be, have, do, is to think about, well, what qualities do I have? Now, if you search it through the latter or the last sets of longer podcasts, there is one called my qualities. Also do hypnosis track on my qualities. But don't be shy. Think of the qualities you have. No one's going to read them, so you can write them down. Be assured about this. What qualities you have in relation to what you want. You know, what do you know? What have you learned? What have you done before? What have other people said? And just get a feeling for where you are now and all the good stuff that you have already. That's that mastery, remember? Even if it was only one quality, I know you've got so much more than one quality. But if you just do that one quality, knowing what you do, doing what you know, you are a master of that one quality. But you've got more. And just think for a moment. So we've done where we are now. We've done our list of qualities. We may have listened to a hypnosis track. But then we have to ask our question. What does we want? I'll start that again. What does what we want look like? And it's more than just looking like. But a lot of people say look like. A lot of people are quite visual. But just think if you could visualize in any way, shape or form, whether it's 20-20 vision or just an awareness, what would it look like? That end result? You know, maybe you being more social, maybe you speaking out more, you having that better job, having more friends, a special friend, a partner, or learning to do a skill. What would that look like when you've got it? Because when you look like it and what would you hear? And how would that feel? Because you've got to know it feels right. Because if you know, you might think, I really want that. But it doesn't feel right. And remember, this is what would it be like when you have it? Forget the how you're going to get there and you're not there yet. No, jump into the future, wherever that would be. And go, if I had it now, what would it feel like? What would it be like? What would I see? Because I just want to make sure that that's exactly what you want. Yeah, I do want more friends. I would like to be able to speak up. Because if I spoke up and I was speaking up with a self-assurity, it'd be like this, it'd be like that. And people would be smiling at me and they'd listen and I'd learn more and all that stuff. What would it enable you to do is another question. And when you see the two, the difference where you are now to what it looked like, just maybe another simple question. Well, in that case, what do I need to bridge that gap? Because we're going to start to find the steps to go from now to then. And you might go, oh, Cloughie, this is so difficult. You know, it's a bit difficult sometimes what it would be like. Oh, I don't know what I know. Yes, you do know what you know. But here's another simple question. If this was really easy, what would that be like? Well, if it was really easy, I'd make all the steps just like this and I'd get a piece of paper and I'd write the steps down and work it out. Yeah. So just make a note. What would this be like if it was easy? Where am I now? What are my qualities? Let's be honest. Let's not be shy. Let's don't underestimate, but let's not overestimate. Let's be, you know, I've learned a lot in my life. And what does it look like if I got it now? Yeah, there you go. Now we've started. So let's go back a little bit to self-assurity again. Everyone knows a person who is sure of themselves. Yeah, they're grounded, aren't they? They're strong. They have that inner strength because they're sure of their abilities. So this is this thing, the difference between now and then, what are the abilities you need to learn? So you can then be confident in the things that you say and do because you're sure of your abilities, being confident in your competence. So let's get them down. What abilities do you need? And then start to think of where are you going to get them? Where are you going to learn them? Now, if you want a little bit of help with this, because I want you to write those down, because you need to know the type of things you might need to learn. You know, if you wanted to do a particular thing for your job, you might need to learn another skill. Maybe it's just getting a skill of talking, being able to open a conversation with somebody. That one little skill, opening a conversation, knowing that you've got things that you can talk about. We'll do that. So you have to write those things down, but then think of a hashtag 449. It's not too far away. Listen to that, because that gives you all the steps you need to start putting it together. Start small. And as you consider everything in hashtag 449, and then you know what you need, you think, okay, I know what I need now, but what's the smallest step I could do? Because if I can do one small step, and I can, because I want this, I know what it'll feel like, I've got the motivation, it's important to me, and it's only a small step. And if I master that one small step, I'll have that confidence in my competence to master....
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FMQ 502 I'm Weird What About You
07/01/2025
FMQ 502 I'm Weird What About You
I'm Weird - What About You I'm 'Special' and Very Wierd and very proud about it too - Are you? This 5-minute quickie is from the video I recently put out on my very random newsletter in which I ask, encourage you to show your Specialness, your Weidness and make this little old planet Earth a nicer place to live. Please listen and share: And you can get the video here: Shine Brightly 🌟 Paul Hey there! I’d love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at . Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review . Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit . Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to . Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure. Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on , Castbox, , YouTube, or on our . Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨ Music Credits Music by Wataboi, DreamHeaven, ccjmusic, and others from . Personal development [self improvement] [self development] [NLP] [Hypnosis]
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#450 Loneliness and My Plan To Conquer it.
06/27/2025
#450 Loneliness and My Plan To Conquer it.
Loneliness and My Plan To Conquer It The Revolutionary Solution to Loneliness That Actually Works Feeling isolated? Struggling with loneliness? You're not alone. In this powerful episode, Paul Clough reveals his breakthrough plan to conquer loneliness once and for all – and it's not what you think. Why This Episode Matters: Loneliness has become an epidemic affecting millions worldwide. Whether you're personally struggling with isolation, know someone who is, or simply want to future-proof yourself against loneliness, this episode is essential listening. Paul's unique approach offers real hope and practical solutions that work – because everyone deserves meaningful connection. What You'll Discover: The Counterintuitive Approach: Why creating a plan for someone ELSE might be the key to solving your own loneliness crisis The Small Steps Strategy: How tiny actions like visiting coffee shops without your phone can transform your social life The Ikigai Framework: Paul's proven daily/weekly/monthly system that keeps you connected and engaged Real-World Action Steps: From library visits to cookery courses, yoga classes to reading groups – discover dozens of practical ways to rebuild your social connections Key Takeaways: Start Small: Begin with 60-second conversations and people-watching in public spaces Explore Interests: Use libraries and bookshops to discover what genuinely attracts you Join Communities: Wine tasting, art classes, meditation groups, and more – find your tribe Create Structure: Build a progressive plan with daily, weekly, and monthly social activities Take Action: Stop doomscrolling and start connecting with real people in real spaces Perfect For: Anyone experiencing loneliness or social isolation People who want to help lonely friends or family members Listeners seeking practical strategies for building community Those ready to break free from digital isolation and create real connections Take Action: Grab a pen and paper – you'll need them for this interactive episode. Paul guides you through creating your personalized loneliness-busting plan that actually works. Ready to transform loneliness into connection? This episode gives you the tools to make it happen. Subscribe to Personal Development Unplugged for more life-changing strategies and practical wisdom from Paul Clough. Need support? Email Paul directly – he responds personally and has your back on this journey. Lastly, please share this important message Shine Brightly 🌟 Paul Hey there! I’d love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at . Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review . Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit . Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to . Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure. Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on , Castbox, , YouTube, or on our . Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨ Music Credits Music by Wataboi, DreamHeaven, ccjmusic, and others from . And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism Warning. You are entering into the unplugged mind of Paul Clough. Too late. Personal development unplugged. Welcome my friend to a longer podcast. And yeah, the solution to loneliness. Loneliness again. Yeah, solution. And this, I guess, is for anyone who is lonely. Or if you know anybody who is lonely. Or even for you. Because you might be lonely one day. So basically, it's for everyone. Yeah, that is. So let's start from the very beginning. Where did this get into my brain? I guess we've done a couple of episodes on loneliness. But something different happened to me. You see, here's a question. Have you ever doomscrolled? I think we all have, haven't we? And we all do. And there I was the other morning. Aimlessly scrolling. Just flicking that bloody phone. And then, it's as if the multiverse, the universe, the Akashic field, something, even my unconscious mind, sent me a message. But it wasn't. It was, I started to see videos of lonely people talking on things like TikTok. Wherever I scrolled, there was a sad person talking about their loneliness. They were depressed talking about their loneliness. And the other thing that got me was, they were all very brave to talk about their loneliness. And it kept coming. It was weird because you flick a couple, and then there was another one, and another one. And so it got to me. I don't know what it was. But I remembered. I remembered something that, ah, this could help. This could help. So, especially if you're lonely. If you're the lonely person, experiencing loneliness, and a lot of people do, so you're not alone. Let's go, and let's get through this together. Because I've got a plan. And I need your imagination. That's all I need from you. Your imagination. Oh, oh, a paper and a pen. It could be a pencil. I don't mind. But you need something to write with, and something to write on. Because I want you to come with me and create a plan. But a plan for somebody else. Weird. What do you mean, Cloughie? I'll tell you what I mean. I want you to make a plan for someone you know who is isolated, lonely, suffering. Or maybe that's something you don't, someone you don't know. But I want you to make this plan anyway. But everyone knows a lonely person. But if you don't, you're going to still make this plan. Because when you meet a lonely person, you're going to have that plan in mind. You're going to help them. You're going to help them by planning. And giving guidance. You're going to make a programme to guide them back into being okay. So just go with me. Come with me on this little merry-go-round of imagination. We're going to create a programme, as it were, to get them back on track. So, get your paper and pencil ready, or your paper and pen, because we're going to create this programme. And I want you to begin to imagine in a moment, what steps would work? What things could they do to get them back on track? And it's going to be small stuff first. No good going full hog. Let's think of small things that they could do. What about going to a coffee shop? But going to a coffee shop, maybe, without that bloody phone in your hand. It's been banned. And because of that, and it doesn't have to be a coffee shop, but that type of thing. Getting used to just sitting in public. That's it, just sitting in public. You can't hide behind your phone. You're just there. You're watching. People watching. And you definitely have to just do a little bit of small talk. Not a lot. With the staff. Hi there, how you doing? Oh, that was a lovely cup of coffee. I wish I could do designs like that with the milk. How did you learn that? Just little things that will only last, maybe, I don't know, 60 seconds, yeah? What else? What else is another small step? You're making notes, aren't you? You are making notes. What else? Well, I thought of going out to a library or a bookshop. No, I don't mean getting the phone out or your PC out and your Mac and start looking at Amazon or whatever. No, physical. There's always a bookshop somewhere in town. There's always a library somewhere nearby. And you don't have to be a member, by the way, because you don't have to take these out. So what's the step? If it was me, I'd say, right, I want you to go to a library and just walk around the, what do they call them? They don't call them aisles. The bookshelves. That was difficult, Cloughie. Because those bookshelves have got different sections in, haven't they? I mean, you've got the fiction and nonfiction, but you've also got that other stuff. I like the nonfiction because you can start thinking about autobiographies and things like that. That's inspiration, isn't it? But there's also so many different things that people do. And each one is on that library shelf as a thing. It'll have a little label, railways, animals, whatever. I don't know, but there's millions. Well, I don't know if there's millions, but there's loads. And I would put on this programme, I want you to go to the library and just look. Look at all the different things that people do or people are interested in and notice what attracts you and make a note of it. And again, you might have a little bit of small talk with the people there and then you have to be quiet, whisper. Say, hello, hello there, I'm new here. You might even ask the attendant there, the librarian, not an attendant, they're a librarian. You might even say, how do I join? Just as the way, how did you get into librarianship, ship, ship? But a little bit of small talk, but not with the phone, a little notebook making a few notes of what would attract them. There you go. What other thing could we put on this programme for them to do? Well, I would do a little bit research. I would start to look locally for groups that do those type of things, you know, where the books go and the things you found and find a group and bookmark it. Find those places where they hang out, maybe even book a place on that group. There's a lovely thing where I am, it's called the University of the Third Age and it's for retired people and for retired people to share the skills to other retired people. So if in my work, I was an artist, I share how to do art to people who would love to do art. Now that's for people who are retired, but I know there's other groups like that. For non-retired people, you just have to look. So what else? What else is there things that... I'd ask them the question, what have you always wanted to learn? And you've been too scared to maybe, or you just put off, but now you're fucking lonely, you could think about these things. Sorry about the swearing, but it just came out. So I thought to myself, well, what about me? Just for example, because you think about yourself, maybe one of the things that I've put off that I'd like to learn. Well, I love cookery. So maybe a cookery course. I don't mean a real cookery course, not an online thing. I like art, drawing. So what type of art courses, what drawing courses are there locally to me? But it could be different art. Maybe it's a general. Things like that, I just want art. Maybe it's reading. I love reading. That's a thing. We'll go back to the library, maybe. What about wine tasting? Now we get on the alcohol, Cloughie. You can get into gin clubs. Oh my. What else? And I want you just to write them down on a piece of paper. As you think of these things, I mean, it's great to go through your life, just like I have, to find out the things that a lonely person could consider. And when you write them down, you put your critic head to one side. Because there are no bad things in this. Wrong things. They're just things. And I was thinking then, you know, when you get this thing, like cookery, art, reading, wine tasting, gin tasting, you could find courses on that, couldn't you? Groups, meetings. I mean, there are cookery courses, there are art courses. I mean, there are reading groups where people go, they find a book to read, obviously, then they come back and discuss their thoughts. And they're such wonderful people because they've all got a like-minded interest. I know there's some bars, I don't know why it keeps coming up, that do show you around how to make beer. Gin tasting, wine tasting. You know, you get these sommeliers who will tell you all about wonderful wines. And the thing is, when you go, you meet people of like-minded interest. But the other thing is, say you don't, but you've gone through it. So what have you done? Well, I actually learned to cook because I love cooking. I've learned to draw because I like drawing. I've learned to think about what type of books I read. I've learned how gin is made. Oh, there's the other one. What about a personal trainer? One-to-one personal training to get fit. I mean, it's one-to-one. You ain't got to meet a lot of people there. But then you can go into maybe groups because there's things like spin classes on those old bikes that don't go anywhere, but you pedal like mad. You go to yoga groups. And you see, when you're in a spin group or yoga group or meditation group, there's not a lot of talking goes on, but there is maybe a little bit after where you can have a little bit of small talk. If you're a bit more adventurous, you could go to improv classes. I mean, that'll get you out of your little closed up barriers, wouldn't it? And the thing is, you probably wouldn't see those people from day in, day out. So it doesn't matter, does it? Acting groups. Because acting groups, choirs. Because they're such lovely people. All these groups, by the way, have such lovely people in them. They're so friendly. Maybe if you like music, there's, you find a guitar group or a ukulele group. Oh, I haven't got a guitar, I've got a ukulele. They'll lend you one, if you ask. There's music groups to appreciate music. We have just gone through, I don't know how many, but there's bloody loads, isn't there? And the thing is, you keep writing on the piece of paper all these different things because you're going to create a programme that they're going to do most of them, if not all of them. But bit by bit. So, now you've got to create a plan. You've got to advise them. Advise them what to do first, second, third. I mean, what I did for myself was when we've talked about this before, called Ikigai, where you get circles, intersecting circles. And those circles are meaning of one thing or other. So my three circles were things I was going to do daily, things I was going to do weekly, and things I was going to do monthly. And then you'd find things that overlap. But at least then you know, you're not going to do everything every day. I mean, if you go to like a cookery course, that might only be once a month, if that. But if you go to maybe an art course, it could be weekly. Meditation, yoga classes, things like that. Groups, reading groups might be only weekly. But like one-to-one training, getting fit, getting healthy. Nutritionalists. Oh, I just thought another one. They could be a daily thing. Certainly, just going for a bloody walk is a daily thing. And each one is going to be then made a note of, of what's the smallest step they could do. What's the smallest step for each one to do? Because it's a progression, isn't it? So maybe the first week is just getting out and doing the library. Just getting out there. Going to the coffee shop. Sitting around. People watching, small talk. And then maybe in the weekly thing, it might be just, let's go and find that, that reading group. Finding it. And then you get all these smaller steps. And then the next time, the icky guy will, will change. Because then you get used to it. Or they get used to things. You're going to do a little bit more each day, each week, each month. And you'll set it out in a diary for them. And if they need support, you see, the thing is about that diary is you're scheduling it out for them. So here's what I want you to do. These are the small baby steps and they are little steps. So everything is going to be okay. Bit by bit. Because I'm going to get you to feel so good about yourself. So I've come up with this program for you. And the thing is, if they need support, well, you could go with them, isn't it? Because it is your plan after all. Have you got it yet? Because there's two options, isn't there? There is two options to all of this. And the question is, have you got it? Well, what are the two options? One, find that lonely person and mentor them through your plan. Mentor them with your plan. Support them. Simple as that. And what's the other one, Cloughie, you say? Well, oh, I forgot. If you're the lonely person, you've got a plan already now. Go do it. Gotcha. Because it's that easy. Well, it's easy, but it takes effort, doesn't it? But think of the rewards. And look at those wonderful things you're going to be doing. Because you've created a plan. We've created a plan. I've created a plan with you. Because I do some of this stuff. Because there are things that I want to do. Things that I know that I need to guide myself out of. And I create that programme. The Ikigai is not something I just made up. It's a thing that I use more and more. Things I want to do weekly. Things I want to do daily. Things I want to do monthly. Keeps me on track. Keeps me, you know, one of those ones is socialising. Socialising weekly. Going to the gym daily. Walking daily. Exercising. You know, treating people. Meeting people. Reading. All that stuff. So this is me as well. So I'm with you. I'm with you all the way. And the thing is, because I'm with you all the way, if there was anything that you want a little hand with, you can email me. Because when you email me, it only comes to me, by the way. Because I'm the only bugger here. So you could just give me an indication of where you want a little bit more help. Or a little bit more support. Because I've got it for you. I've got your back. And we'll do it. And we'll do it. We'll come up with something for you. A bit of advice. Maybe a hypnosis track. Maybe we'll do a longer podcast. Anonymous, of course. You know, but you'll get the benefit of it. And so do I, by the way. I get the benefit when you ask a question because I have to think of things. And sometimes those questions hit home to me and I've got to do it as well. I've got to do the work. So if you could do that, that would be absolutely brilliant. Obviously, there's that thing. If you do know of someone who you feel might be lonely, maybe just send them a link to this podcast. I know you don't need it, but I think your friend does. Maybe you'd like to listen, that type of thing. Maybe you'd listen to it together with them. Nice to support people, isn't it? That's being kind. We love kindness in this world. Making a difference by being kind. So if you could share it, that'd be great. And you know, I get lonely too. And what breaks my loneliness is for people who follow and subscribe. So that's what we do. That's what we do. Have more fun than you can stand. And let's get this loneliness out of our lives forever. See you soon, my friend. You got this. You've got it. See you soon. Time to fly. Warning. You are now leaving the unplugged mind of Paul Clough. It's time to fly now. Be brave, my friend. Personal Development Unplugged. Personal development [self improvement] [self development] [NLP] [Hypnosis]
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FMQ 501 What You Didn't Know Back Then
06/24/2025
FMQ 501 What You Didn't Know Back Then
What You Didn't Know Back Then Here is a little something I like to use with my clients, and it seems to give them an understanding as to why we sometimes hold ourselves back from moving forward. Please come with me and get a clearer understanding of how we can utilise this to move forward through difficult times. I know this is a bit ambiguous, but everything will become clear in the next 5 minutes, and you can join me in creating a better you. Please share this episode and let others become clearer too: And a video of the recording is here to: Shine Brightly 🌟 Paul Hey there! I’d love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at . Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review . Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit . Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to . Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure. Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on , Castbox, , YouTube, or on our . Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨ Music Credits Music by Wataboi, DreamHeaven, ccjmusic, and others from . Personal development [self improvement] [self development] [NLP] [Hypnosis]
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#449 How to Achieve Your Outcome, Your Dream
06/20/2025
#449 How to Achieve Your Outcome, Your Dream
How to Achieve Your Dream Outcome - The Complete Blueprint Episode Overview In this transformative episode, Paul CLoughie delivers on his promise from episode #445, revealing the exact methodology for turning your biggest dreams into reality. This isn't another generic goal-setting session—it's a deep dive into the psychological architecture of achievement, complete with a powerful guided hypnosis session to embed these principles into your subconscious mind. Episode Length: Approximately 25 minutes Key Focus: Dream achievement, goal manifestation, subconscious programming What You'll Discover The Specificity Principle Why vague dreams produce vague results (and how to avoid this trap) The danger of saying "I want more money" vs. creating specific financial targets How to transform general aspirations into laser-focused outcomes The Wish Fulfilled Methodology See It: Visualizing your achieved dream with crystal clarity Hear It: Programming the sounds of success into your mind Feel It: Embodying the emotions of already having achieved your goal Act As If: The powerful psychology of success behavior modeling The Four Critical Questions Framework Paul reveals the four questions that unlock subconscious motivation: What will happen if you get it? What won't happen if you get it? What will happen if you don't get it? What won't happen if you don't get it? Key Timestamps & Highlights [0:00-3:00] Introduction and connection to episode #445 [3:00-8:00] The specificity imperative - why details matter [8:00-12:00] Acting as if you've already achieved your dream [12:00-15:00] Learning from past successes and modeling others [15:00-18:00] The ecology check - ensuring your goals serve everyone [18:00-25:00] Guided hypnosis session - Programming your subconscious for success Powerful Takeaways The Present Moment Assessment Know exactly where you are on your journey (0%, 50%, 90%?) "What gets measured gets done" - the importance of tracking progress Creating your baseline for authentic goal measurement The Success Trigger Method Paul shares his personal trainer certification story - how he visualized sitting on steps with his certificate, and how this exact scenario manifested. Learn to create your own "achievement trigger" that signals you've reached your destination. The Resource Recovery Technique Mining your past successes for transferable skills Learning from others who've achieved similar dreams Why reinventing the wheel slows down your progress The Ecological Framework Ensuring your dreams benefit you, your loved ones, and the planet The importance of personal initiation vs. waiting for others Creating win-win outcomes that serve the greater good The Guided Hypnosis Experience The episode culminates in a transformative 7-minute hypnosis session designed to: Embed the "feeling of the wish fulfilled" into your subconscious Activate your reticular activating system to notice opportunities Program your unconscious mind to support your dream achievement Create lasting motivation that pulls rather than pushes you forward Note: This section begins around the 18-minute mark and should be experienced in a safe, comfortable environment with eyes closed. Action Steps Define Your Specific Dream: Move beyond "I want more money" to "I want to earn £X by doing Y" Create Your Success Movie: Visualize seeing, hearing, and feeling your achieved dream Establish Your Trigger: Identify the specific moment that will tell you "I've made it" Resource Audit: List skills from past successes that apply to this dream Model Success: Find someone who's achieved what you want and study their approach Act As If: Begin embodying the behaviors, language, and mindset of someone who's already achieved your dream Share the Love: Know someone with big dreams who's struggling to make them reality? Share this episode and help them unlock their potential. Remember: Your dreams aren't just wishes—they're blueprints waiting to be built. This episode gives you the tools, the mindset, and the subconscious programming to make them your reality. Subscribe, follow, and leave a review to help more dream achievers discover Personal Development Unplugged! Shine Brightly 🌟 Paul Hey there! I’d love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at . Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review . Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit . Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to . Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure. Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on , Castbox, , YouTube, or on our . Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨ Music Credits Music by Wataboi, DreamHeaven, ccjmusic, and others from . And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism Hey my friend, how we doing today? You good? I hope you're good. And if you remember, if you listen to hashtag 445, I had a dream. And I talked about my dream and how it came to reality of a saw. It went in a different way. It was an adventure, but it started from something that I didn't know anything about and ended up where I am right now. And I said at the time, I would do the how, but not in that episode. I'd do the how in another episode. And this is that episode, the how. How do you go about thinking about your dream? But this is not a goal setting thingy. I've done enough of those. And if you look back over the past catalogues and you search it, you'll find some goal settings, all different types. And if I can remember, I'll put them in the show notes. But I just want to talk about how you would think about your dreams. And maybe at the end of this, we'll do it as a little bit of light hypnosis. I don't know yet. See how we feel. See how we feel. So what I would like you to do is just consider these things, but I want you to bring your, maybe your dream in mind, the big one, the big one, maybe the one that you're a little bit scared to think about, but you've got that feeling. Remember that feeling, feeling that's just makes it a little bit anxious, but a little bit exciting thinking about it. But the thing is what we sometimes forget to do is actually think about what that bloody dream is specifically, because if you don't think about it specifically, things get the opposite to that, which is general. And do you want, well, a general dream, the result to be general? Who wants that? Now I want more money. Yeah, you got more money. You got, you got a dollar. You got a pound. That's not, but you got what you, what you said you wanted. And I want a new job. Well, you might get a new job, but it might not be the job you want. Might be in the wrong career or maybe whatever it is, whatever it is. Let's have a little think. If you were to think of it specifically in the positive, that's not what you don't want. It's what you do want. What would it be? And think it now. Imagine you've got it already. What is it? I am, I love I am, but this is what I want to be. This is my goal. I want to be this, this and this, or achieve this, this and this, or to be able to do this, this or this, but be specific as you can. Things will get more specific as you closer you get to the goal setting, but you do need to have an aim in mind, don't we? Not a general. Just think what specifically do you want? And what we don't do is at the same time think, where the bloody hell am I now? Am I halfway through that towards the goal? A third? Maybe you haven't even started, but we need to know because what gets measured gets done and the measured is the reviewing. But if you know where you are now, it means basically you're associated into the present moment. So, you know exactly where you are now, looking forward to that dream, achieving that goal, you know what it is now specifically, all specificity, love that. And now you can start to make a plan. And you might even think about a little bit of what will you see when you get it? Because you know what it is you want now. But just for a to think, what will I see in the world when I've got it? What will I see? One of the type of things I'll hear, it might be my internal voice, might be other people, because it might involve other people. It might be applause, maybe you want to do some speaking, training, whatever it is, what will you hear? Maybe it'll be people just congratulating you. And when you have all of that, how would it make you feel to have it? Because now we're building up the recipe of the feeling of the wish fulfilled. And we can do that quite easily, can't we? And we can keep doing that. And if you think about it, that picture you're making your mind, if you make it slightly bigger, slightly brighter, maybe a little closer, gets a little bit more motivating, doesn't it? Gets a bit more like it's pulling you towards it. I mean, if you could, when you have what it would be like, what you're heading towards, you know what it is, and you can feel and hear and see exactly what it would be like when you got it, you could act as if. And if you started to act as if you've already got it, in your behaviours, your language, your thoughts, let me call it body language, but just your physiology and your psychology, I guarantee you that dream would get here quicker. Because you can act as if, act as if you have it right now. That'll be interesting, wouldn't it? If you just started to act as if you'd already got it. So I guarantee you confidence would come up, you start seeing things in a different way, you'd be making positive changes. And when you think about what you see, what you hear in that, you really need to make a note of that because that's how you'll know when you've got it. And think about it now though, is there a specific thing in that goal that when you get and reach, the thing you're reaching and aiming for, that will tip you off, not off course, but tip you off to say, you bloody got it, you'd gone and done it. I can remember when I did my trainer's training, the thing that I was going to have is, I was going to be sitting by myself on some steps, which I didn't know existed, but apparently they, well, they did in the end, with my certificate and saying, Jesus CLoughie, we've actually gone and done it. And what happened? There were some bloody steps. And at the end of it, I was sitting on those steps saying exactly those words. I knew that was my trigger point to say, you've bloody gone and done it, CLoughie. So how will you know what will be the market for you, the trigger? You need to think about it because you don't want to go past it and miss it. Yeah. Now, sometimes we could, what we don't think about, something we could think about, would be useful to think about maybe is, when you get this result, all it get for you, not just the feelings, but what will it allow you to do differently? What things would you be doing differently? Maybe new opportunities will be different for you. Just think, I've got this goal. What would be the next step? But just knowing all the things that come and attracted to achieving this goal. And here's another thing that people forget. They do. They have to think and you have to, because if you don't, it has to be for you. Because if it's not for you, you will not continue maintaining all that effort, giving effort to get it. Because if it's for others, well, it's a lovely thought, but it's up to them to get their goals. You can inspire them by doing what you do, but you have to initiate it as well for you. You can't wait for somebody else to do something first or the weather to be right, or the thing, this to be right, that to be right, the economy to be right. No, you just do it. And it has to be you doing it for you. And think about it. Where do you want this thing to happen? Logistically, whereabouts do you want it? Maybe if you could put a time on it, when do you want it to happen? Because then you work backwards, can't you? When you're working out a plan, doing the goal setting, you can say, well, this is a year's project, a month's project. Could be a week because I want to go and do something in a week's time. Everyone, these are just aims in mind, little outcomes. That'd be the biggest thing in the world. But think, when do you want it? How would you like it to be? A bit like, how would I like to feel? And here's an important thing. With whom would you like to be there with, to be with you on this, either on the adventure or at the end of it? Because there will be somebody, some people who you don't want to be with. And let's be clear, I want to know who I'll be steering away from, because they might be the naysayers dragging you down. And the people who would be like mentors, maybe, or supporters of you. Think about that. So who do you want it to be with? Hmm, it's an interesting one, isn't it? Now, again, looking where you are right now on this trajectory of a goal, of an adventure. Have you ever done anything like this before? Have you? Anything similar? Because if you think about it, what type of focus did you have on that similar thing? The energy did you have? Was there any skills that you used back then? Because you're going to want to be tapping into that type of thing. But people don't think about this. They just go ahead and they think for a little while. Oh yeah, on that other thing I did, I did this, this, this, that. I could adapt that. So you're already learning from the past, using tools from the past, you're adapting it. Maybe the places you need to go and see, the people you need to speak to, how to speak to them, things like that. If you've done it before, what did you do and how did you do it? Now, maybe sometimes you think, yeah, I think I've done it before, but not quite as well. But do you know somebody who's done it before? Because that's the thing. If you know somebody who's done this type of thing before, why learn from your mistakes? Learn from their mistakes right now. Now that could be in the form of maybe a book, a video. If you can't get to see them or write to them and get a reply back because they may be too busy, you can find information about it, about people who've done these things before and find their strategy as it were. What skills did they use? How much energy did they use? Where was their focus of attention? How often did they work upon it? All that stuff. And then when you find that stuff and you start to act as if, man, you are head and shoulders above everyone else getting this goal. Tell you that you're going to be in the top percentile because not a lot of people do this. They just think of a goal, get excited, head off and they fall apart because they haven't done this little bit of thinking. Now we can think of a little bit ecologically wise, but first of all, what's the purpose of it? What's the purpose of doing this? Is it just for you? Will it help the people around you? It's got to be positive for little old planet Earth. We can't have any negativity there. It's got to be ecological. So what is your purpose? What is your intention? That's sometimes you need to sit and think about that just for a bit. But when you get that and you understand it, then you become aligned to that outcome, aligned to the goal, aligned to achieving it. That acting as if, man, that just comes straight in. And now here's the one again, here's something that some people don't think about. They think about this sometimes, it's part of it. They say, what are you going to gain by going on this adventure, by achieving the result? What are you going to gain by it? Now, if it's a career, it could be promotion, could be more money, could be more experience, could be whatever. Maybe it's being social or going on trips and things like that. What are you going to gain by it? So it could be experiences, could be learnings. Sometimes it's like going on a course. What am I going to gain from being on this course? What's the purpose of being on this course? They're the questions I had to answer when I was on the hypnosis and NLP trainings. Why are you here, Paul? What's important to you about this course? What are you going to do with it? How's it going to change your life? And suddenly when I started to think about that in that way, I decided it was if I could think of ways to use what I was learning in a more, call it more better way. I love more better. But here's the one, here's a kicker that people never think about. What are you going to lose? What are you going to lose when you're on this adventure and when you get it? Now, some people think it's negative. What am I going to lose? And it could be negative in the way that you might be getting a different set of friends because some of your friends might fall away slightly because they're not geared to this outcome. Maybe they're at a different level at the moment and that's where they are. And they're not ready to make these type of moves that you are. So you might lose a little bit of contact, but on the positive side, you might lose some anxiety. You might lose a lot of worry because of the results you get. You might gain a whole load of confidence. New people, new people to talk about, new people to support you, mentors. So just to think just for a moment, what will I win? What will I gain? And what will I lose? Yeah. And then I got some interesting little things, but I'm not going to speak about those yet. So I want to add it into the end of all of this. So we've just talked about it. We've had a conversation, haven't we? Now, I don't know whether you've made a few notes of that or you've thought about it, but here's what I want you to do. If it's okay with you, because it's going to mean closing your eyes. I said we might do a little hypno type thing, and it's only going to be a little hypno. But what I want you to think of is, is it okay with my unconscious mind and my conscious mind altogether to just to consider this even more deeply? Because when we get it into the unconscious level, then your unconscious mind can begin to notice how important it is to you and find the skills and resources that you have and the focus, that reticulating activating system. So you start to notice the things around you that match your dream, your goal. Would that be okay? Because I want you to close your eyes in a minute. You don't have to. But closing your eyes just takes any distractions away from you, other than my voice. So if it's okay with you, you know, obviously, you're not going to be driving or doing anything that needs your attention or working with machinery or anything like that at all. Because if you do, you can always come back to this. Just make a note of the minutes. It's going to be around about, I don't know, 18 minutes into and then come and play. And how are you going to play? I want you, as I said, to close your eyes and take a lovely in-breath with me. Just breathe in and then let it out slowly, easily and effortlessly. And as you do that, just become more comfortable. You might even ask yourself the question, what would it feel like to feel three times as comfortable as I feel now? Oh, and feel it. What would it be like if the muscles around my eyes were so soft that that softness came through...
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FMQ 500 How To Change Quickly
06/17/2025
FMQ 500 How To Change Quickly
How To Change Quickly Do you want to change the way you feel or act? Let's see if we can find a way to change either of those quickly. I feel we forget to notice how it is now and how you would like it to be. It ends to be one or the other but not both. So, in five minutes or so, let me share my thoughts and share a 'how to'. And it all comes from thinking in a particular way and asking a question. What's that way of thinking and that question? Well, you'll have to press play. Please share what you learn so others get the benefit too Shine Brightly 🌟 Paul Hey there! I’d love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at . Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review . Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit . Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to . Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure. Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on , Castbox, , YouTube, or on our . Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨ Music Credits Music by Wataboi, DreamHeaven, ccjmusic, and others from . Personal development [self improvement] [self development] [NLP] [Hypnosis]
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#448 Changing Negative Behaviours Easily
06/13/2025
#448 Changing Negative Behaviours Easily
A Journey to Better Behaviours: Rewire Your Reactions for Good Ever catch yourself snapping at someone and thinking, “Where the hell did that come from?” You’re not alone. In this episode of Personal Development Unplugged, I’m getting honest about my own struggles with automatic reactions—and how I turned them around. This isn’t just about stopping bad habits. It’s about understanding the intention behind those knee-jerk behaviours and learning how to respond with calm, curiosity, and confidence. What you’ll learn in this episode: How to recognise the unconscious triggers behind emotional outbursts Why your unconscious mind isn’t the enemy—it’s actually trying to protect you (even if it’s doing a rubbish job) A simple yet powerful way to thank those old patterns—and let them go How to build new beliefs and emotional habits that support the real you Practical steps to respond with intention instead of reaction And a process to boot to follow along with If you want to feel more in control, improve your relationships, and stop letting outdated emotional patterns run the show—this is your invitation. Take the first step to emotional freedom. Listen now and discover how to create better behaviours from the inside out. Shine Brightly 🌟 Paul Hey there! I’d love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at . Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review . Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit . Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to . Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure. Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on , Castbox, , YouTube, or on our . Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨ Music Credits Music by Wataboi, DreamHeaven, ccjmusic, and others from . And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism For me, snapping at people became a habit that was not good Hey, my friend, are you like me when I say we all like to change bad reactions, bad behaviors. And I say bad, they're just not ones that we want to keep anymore. For me, well, this is one of them for me was snapping at people. Things would happen and before I knew it, bang, I'd snap. And it wasn't nice. And the result was not good. You can imagine if someone says something and you snap at them and then they snap back. And at the end of it, things didn't go well. And, then I got to be by myself. I felt like shit because I knew it wasn't right. And also, it wasn't really me. Well, it was me, but it wasn't the me that I wanted to be. Now, I could explore this knowing, you know, with my background, nlp, hypnosis therapy, I could explore it and find the core. But I didn't want to. I just didn't. I wanted, to go straight into a process for myself to change it, because I know you could. And the thing is, I knew that it was something from my unconscious mind because it was unconscious. It was a snap reaction. I didn't consciously think I'm going to be snappy. And that snappy went into like hurtful things and things like that was very personal, by the way. But I knew my unconscious mom was trying to protect me. And it was like a default thing. Now, you know, we think of fight and flight, but this was without the flight. It was just fight for no bloody reason. Well, there was a reason, but that reason had got Gone buy its sell date. I say that again. Gone buy its sell by date. It's gone past it. And I didn't need that type of protection. And, not to protected by those people who I snapped at because they weren't attacking me. It's just that, I couldn't control it. It was unconscious. And the thing is, it had become a habit. And a habit that was not a good one. So I wanted to change it. And that was a key. Or this is two of the keys. One is obviously recognizing that I needed help because it wasn't a good. So I really needed help. But. And I also knew that my unconscious mind was trying to help me, had a positive intention. It was trying to protect me. So I didn't want to fight my unconscious mind because that does no good. We lose. But I wanted to help it adapt because consciously I knew how it felt. And if it didn't feel good, it ain't bloody working, is it? So. Piano, please. So the how. How Cloughie. How Cloughie. Can we change this? You ask? And it seems daft, but I always do this first if I'm doing any change work and I do change work with clients. First of all, we need to thank your best friend, your unconscious mind, for doing that stuff. Not the bit you didn't like, but doing it with that wonderful positive intention to try to do something for you positively. For me, it was mainly protection, but it was for me to. To protect me, to kick start that, fight flight. Always there. It was always there. So I acknowledged it. Always acknowledge it. Thanks. Just go inside and go, thanks, mate. You doing your best and knowing that it doesn't feel good. And your unconscious mind knows that because there's always ears dropping on what you're talking about. Just didn't feel good. It doesn't feel right because I felt like shit after and I shouldn't feel like that. If I'd been reacting in the right way, I shouldn't feel that way. I felt guilty, felt ashamed, felt angry. All those negative emotions that are, secondary emotions that, were just. They won't do me any good, were they? Then they were causing anxiety. Plus I had to go and apologize all that stuff. So I said to my unconscious, thanks so much for doing that, but here's the thing. Why don't we find a better way? Because this way is no longer working. It's a conversation you have. That's all it is. It's that type of conversation. Say it out loud, say it inside with your internal voice. But it's no longer working. I appreciate what you're trying to do for me, but can we find a better way? Now? You know in your heart there's gotta be a better way. Because if this is not working and you know you can react differently. You certainly know how you want to feel after. You want to feel connected or whatever. You want to feel good, you want to feel comfortable, you want to feel safe. And, they were all the things I wasn't feeling. And the thing is, because it was no longer working, I could tell because one thing, it wasn't feeling good, but it was causing more harm than the good it was trying to protect me from. Now the process I dived into is what I use with clients, and I tend to use it with clients in trance. But I've learned to do, I learned to do this process, in trance or Out of trance, either way works. I love working, obviously intrance. Cause I love bloody hypnosis. First process I learned when I started my hypnosis adventure was as if And I get to talk to the unconscious mind and it's normally with a client. So I'm talking to their unconscious mind and that works better for me. That's what hypnotherapy is about, I guess. But this was the very first process I learned when I started my hypnosis, my hypnosis adventure. I didn't realize at the time that it was also an NLP process. I was taught by this lovely guy called as if. As if. I always remember that because in NLP we act as if. And he acted so wonderfully friendly. He was a great mate at that time. So if he ever listens to this. Thank you. As if you m set the ball rolling. But anyway, what was this process I learned? What was the process I did to change? Well, I want to do it consciously. So would you like to do it with me? Because you probably have a behaviour or two you'd like to change, wouldn't you? Bit like, maybe you a bit like me snapping. You know, you didn't like that, the way you reacted. Think of something like that. Now we know you know you want a better way. So here's the thing. First thing to think about is and if you've got a piece of paper and a pen, it'll be good or a pencil colour cray if you're that way inclined. But think of this though and then only reason I say write it down is because then when we move on there's three steps or maybe four or five, maybe six, who knows. But there's a few steps and sometimes writing this down means you don't forget it. I want you to remember. So here's the first thing to remember and to recall. What would be a better belief to have. Now I don't know what your belief is or I didn't know what my belief was when I was snapping, but I didn't care. I just wanted a better belief because I knew whatever belief that was, it wasn't working. So what I thought was what would be a better belief to hold if I could. And what I came up was, came up with was get your words right. Cloughie was. I'm Okay. It's just words. They're just words. I thought, hey, that's it. It doesn't have to be these wonderful things, your affirmations. No, I'm okay. They're just words. Yeah. I could take that one, on. So I wrote down, I'm okay, it's just words. They're just words. And because it came from. Where did that come from though? You see, consciously, I think it came from my conscious mind. But I have already asked my unconscious mind, can we find a better way? And I think that whatever you think tends to come from the unconscious mind. That just my belief because ed is words. So that was a good belief. I thought, I’d have yeah, certainly be good, wouldn't it? Instead of snapping, realising I'm okay, they're just words. It's just words because I'm okay, I'm safe. Ah. And that's just a belief. Awesome. I wanted to think of what emotions could I use instead of the old ones Now, what was the second step? Well, I wanted to think of what emotions could I use instead of the old ones. And again, I didn't really want toa explore the emotions that I was using, which was like anger. I didn't want to go through that. I just thought, well, what would be good ones to have in that scenario in that context? And I had a little thing and I thought, well, calmness might be quite good. I never think of calmness right now I can feel calmed. And when I feel calm, I feel quite grounded, I thought. So I put the two together, you know, calmness and grounded. Because if I was calm and grounded, I would t I wouldn't be able to react like that old way. It'd be a lot better, wouldn't it? But I wanted three. So I thought, let's think of another one. Think of enough. And I thought curiosity to be curious. Because when you're curious, it's as if you step outside your body a little bit, isn't it? Because you're thinking about what is happening outside and not inside. And the curiosity lend its way to something, like what's really behind this? What's really behind what's being said? Cause sometimes, Well, I was taking it as an affront, an attack. And sometimes it was just a simple question. I realize that now when I look back at those bloody situations. But at the time I thought it was an attack. So being curious, what's really being said m that would have been a better emotion, to have, wouldn't it? Curiosity. It's allgh also like a behaviour. But you have to feel curious first before you can behave. Curious, I guess. And what was another one? I wanted three. You see, I like threes. And I thought what would happen if I had like a connection, if I could keep that connection with people? Cause then if I had a connection, a good connection. I thought what would that mean? It would mean I'd be at peace, I'd a be at peace with this because if I found out my curiosity, what's really being said and I was calm and grounded. Bloody hell. Awesome wouldn't it? So in some ways whilst I ve found three different emotions I've even thought about how they would change my behaviour but then I thought to myself this is the process where I also want to think about how I'd like to behave differently. New behaviours, better behaviours because they’ve got to be better. No point in doing. Your unconscious mind is not going to take on a new behavioior if it's worse than the one that it's using it what would be the point? So I thought to myself well what do I know? What have I heard? What have I think? What have I learned about any of this? And it jumped into my mind. He said Cloughie, you always talk about pausing first, you know that's right and you've heard it through other people like taking a second, two second breath. Talked about that a little while ago how that can just put you in the right state. State is an emotion and the emotion is connected to that belief I guess or supported by it. So yeah I thought that's a good alternative because that's one thing I wasn't doing was it? I was snapping and snapping is boom. I was at it. So pausing before reacting, taking a breath, two seconds, that would be good. And I thought well that's a good one but what else, what else would be good? And I thought well what would happen if I just listened but listen with an inner smile. And that seemed to work with me because listening is a behavior, it goes with that pausing but also listening with an inner smile gave me another type of emotion and the inner smile in some ways gave me connection and made me calm. So you can see how're interlinking now I didn't at the time by the way I'm only recognizising it now as I'm looking at some of the notes I made because I write things down, write that sucker down. We've talked about that so many times but that's only two. Remember I've got pausing, listening with an inner smile. What could be a third one? And I thought be inquisitive, behave you know from that listening, be inquisitive. What do they really want? What's going on behind this? Oh that's like curiosity isn't it curiosity, inquisitive. So I'm not just feeling curious, I'm actually being inquisitive. I'm asking the behavior of asking, what is it you really want? This is the way I understand it. Am I getting it right? You said this, but is that really what you mean? Or this is the meaning I get. Have I got it completely around my neck? But you can see how they tend to work. So I've got an new but belief. Yeah, you remember that one. I'm, Okay, it's just words. That's all it is, just words. They're just words. I've got my three emotions. Calmness, curiosity, connection, which is like grounded. Understanding what's really being said and being at peace with this. Then I'm my new three behaviourss. Pausing two seconds, taking a breath, listening with it. Inn a smile and being inquisitive. Actively asking after actively listening. Shit, this is so bloody common sense, isn't it? But isn't that like common sense? Isn't that common? And these answers are hiding in plain bloody sight and they always are. by the way, if it's complicated, it's probably complicated, and complicated is too complicated. So we break them down to the easy, manageable steps. Simple steps doesn't make it. When they're easy and simple, you still have to do them. So it takes effort, we know that, but they're not difficult, just an effort to do this thing. Put these beliefs into your unconscious mind and see what happens So how’ do you put these into your unconscious mind? Well, we said before, your unconscious mind is always listening and listening with all its senses. So if you were to imagine a new scene, it would have to watch, wouldn't it watch with you? You could imagine it happening. So what you think of is, well, let's take the next seven days. Cause for me, this wasn't happening once a month, it was happening most days, which is what? And sometimes more than once in a day, which is really pissing me off. It was pissing other people off, by the way, big time. Which then made me feel guilty and ashamed and all that stuff. Not good thing. So I thought, okay, if this type of reaction, this behavior, the old behavior, by the way, was to happen in the next seven days, let's imagine it happening. But using and accessing that new belief, I'm, Okay, it's just words. 1. Just one of those new emotions and just one of those new behaviour. Those better behavurs. Only one of each're not. Again, simple, simple, simple. We're not trying to make a bloody recipe. Just the three simple things. So what would happen now? You can do this with me if you like. Just remember, if you're going to close your eyes, it's not hypnosis, like I said, it's not doing hypnosis. But going inside is a little bit. And if you're closing your eyes, you don't want to be walking, dear. You don't want to be doing anything. You don't need anything that needs your attention. You know that. I have to say that, you know, I'm a therapist, you're a therapist, but this is so positive. So if you were to close your eyes, if you were to close your eyes right now and imagine sometime in the next seven days, not that it would happen, but if it did happen, that old situation, imagine now instead of the old way, you have that wonderful belief. For me, I'm okay. It's just words. These are just words. And then I was calm, so I got to feel calm. And I paused, I took a breath and paused. And then I said something. And I noticed in my imagination I said something totally different than what I would have said in the past or what I had said in the past. And I said something like, I don't understand or can you help me? He I don't know what it was, but I just said something that just diffus a situation. And I thought, wow, wow, that is so different. And how do I feel now? Well, I feel good. And if I played out in my imagination, the result of me being like that, everything was so much different. Everything was so much nicer. I know nice is a nice word, but it was so different. And guess what? I got connected. And guess what? I felt peace with that. And I listened and I felt that inn aile. They all seemed to come together. It's weird. And that was it. And I say into my unconscious mind, I think this is a better way, isn't it? I feel better. I wasn't attacked. And then if I was being attacked, I'd find out about what that person meant because they're just words, get what's behind it. And it would have been different as well because they didn't have to fight it. It wasn't a fight or flight situation, was it? Not as in the past, knew my best friend was protecting me with fight flight. But it wasn't that situation. And now we found a better way. And I always like to finish off with these words, you know, to my best friend. What about this? Or something better? Would it be okay to use these new ways in place of the old Ways because they work better. H and then I thought, well, I like threes, don't I? I like threes apart from the belief. You can have a set of beliefs, but like one belief and then three threes of everything else. So I thought, well, let's do that a couple more times. Let's imagine if it happened in the next seven days, but in a different way, because they do and it did. Different situation, but the same in the past, the same old reaction. And I imagined something like that happening in the future. I don't put a day or time on it, but sometime in the next seven days. Not that it would happen. I always say to myself, not that it would happen, but if it did, and I'd remember that belief. I'm okay, just words. These are just words. And then I'd pick, well, let's pick curiosity. Let's be curious. And with that state of curiosity, I'm gonna listen and...
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FMQ 499 Keeping On Target To Success
06/10/2025
FMQ 499 Keeping On Target To Success
Keeping On Target To Success Following on from the last FMQ musing about constant and never-ending improvement, I ask the question How Do You Know? Do you actually have a plan? Do we measure from where we were to where we are now, and how much further have we got to go? And how often do we need to check on our progress? Let's answer these questions and a couple more in this 5-minute muse. Come with me and press play Then share what you've learned Shine Brightly 🌟 Paul Hey there! I’d love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at . Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review . Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit . Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to . Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure. Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on , Castbox, , YouTube, or on our . Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨ Music Credits Music by Wataboi, DreamHeaven, ccjmusic, and others from . Personal development [self improvement] [self development] [NLP] [Hypnosis]
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#447 On Life and How We Might Live It
06/06/2025
#447 On Life and How We Might Live It
Embracing Life: What If Today Was Your First or Last Day? In this episode of Personal Development Unplugged, we dig into two simple but powerful questions: What if today were your last day? What if it were your first? This is an extract from a live Q&A call I did for my son's (Joseph Clough) Mind Mastery group, and invite you to reflect, respond, and explore what really matters in your life. It’s not heavy or dark—it’s a spark. A chance to wake up to what you’re doing with your time and how you want to live going forward. What you’ll discover in this episode: The power of writing letters of love and gratitude—and who they need to be sent to. How small acts of kindness help shape the legacy you’re already leaving behind. Why waiting for “someday” is a trap—and how to flip into action now. How to live with intention and awareness, instead of drifting on autopilot. A simple, powerful way to visualise your best self—and take the first steps to becoming them. You’ll hear honest conversation, real moments with listeners, and practical insights that can shift your perspective in just one listen. This is the kind of reflection that leads to action—and action that changes everything. Call to Action: If this episode resonated with you, pass it on. Subscribe, follow the podcast, and share it with someone who needs a reminder that their time—and their life—matters. More fun than you can stand. Wallow in pleasure Shine Brightly 🌟 Paul Hey there! I’d love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at . Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review . Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit . Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to . Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure. Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on , Castbox, , YouTube, or on our . Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨ Music Credits Music by Wataboi, DreamHeaven, ccjmusic, and others from . And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism Hey, welcome to the longer podcast. And this one's quite long because a little while ago, I did a, live call, a question and answer live call. And I do these twice a month for my son, Joseph, Joseph Clough. And it's his mind mastery. And I did this life call. And it was in some ways inspired by a previous FMQ that I did about. Is this your last day of your life or the first day? And, what would you do? But I go into it so much more deeply here, and I get interaction with the people along the way. And because it goes into, I think, some really good stuff, some deep stuff, I thought I wanted to share it with you. So I have beeped out the name, so you'll hear a beep. And you'd have to just bear with me just a little bit because of the recording, because it was done on, like, a live call and it was a video, so the microphone wasn't necessarily quite so close all the time. But I think if you come with me, you will find new stuff. New stuff that will inspire you to become the person you were meant to be and more. So if that's okay, just come along for the ride. There you go. Oh, just one very quick thing before we get into it. Nearer the end, there is part of this that we go into hypnosis. To review everything at a hypnotic level means closing your eyes. So as you all know, being hypnosis, you need to have nothing that requires your attention. If it does, please stop at that particular point. If not, really. Enjoy. I've got something I wanted to. To. Well, yeah, I've been thinking about this for a little while, and it's not the most. I don't know why. Sometimes I think of some of the. Not the most happiest things in the world. And the thing I've been thinking about lately is. And you know what it is when you start thinking about stuff, the multiverse comes and gives you more ideas about it. I've got this idea about creating something and new stuff comes along. The books, the videos, the teacher comes along. Well, on this subject is all about death. I thought it is not the best subject to think about because I'm now starting to think of more and more stuff. But at the end of the day, when we're born, we're going to die. We just don't know how long our Runway is. and one of the questions I asked myself and I did little. I've done a little five minute podcast on this, but this is just part of it. There's a question we ask ourselves, or some people ask themselves is if this was the last day of my life, what would I do? And we can give our glib answers know I'll go around and give everyone a hug, but would you? What would you do? And I'm quite happy if you put some comments in this because this is like a sort of conversation. I like it conversational. It's like what would you do if this was, and you knew it, the last day of your life? What would you do if this was the last day of your life And one of the things I thought and I've heard this a few times is on our deathbed, which again we're getting into the dark and dismal bit here. On our deathbed. No one has ever said I should have stayed more time at work, but most people do. So what would you do if this was the last day of your life? Beep says, write a letter. But what would you write and who would you write it to? What would be the content of that letter? I'm sorry you pictedure out Beep, but you're in the firing line now. What would be the content of. Beep says, realize that I actually do want to live. So regretting all those times I felt too hard to continue. Oo that that's deep. Yeah. Cause that's contemplation, isn't it? Contemplation. I guess I'm still waiting for Beep come up and say what the content of a letter is. as long as it't it too personal. But you know, maybe what type of letter would you write? If ever I've got difficulties with people, I would always write a letter to them. Beep says, yeah, that's the kind of week I've had. Hard, deep. He's always going to get better and this is going to make it better. I can't guarantee this will make you think differently, I think. Cause there's more to just this question. By the way, I've got another four or five questions to think about, but so write a letter. Maybe you'd write a letter of an expression of your love. Maybe you'd write something to somebody of how much they've meant you in your life. Maybe I could think of writing to a mentor and saying thank you so much for doing what you did. Beep says, the letter to the memorable people who shared moments in my life. Yeah, absolutely. Gratitude. So we're on the same type of wave there to express gratitude. And the thing is, when you're doing that, you're feeling it. And I think the good thing about letters is no one can get in your way. You get to write what you want to do. Beep says words of wisdom and love. That's absolutely awesome. And it would be, wouldn't it? Because you've got this last 24 hours. Seek out time in nature. and with animals. Leaving alone, Leaving. Sorry, love notes. Gratitude for those leaving behind. Yeah. You see that bit about seeking time in nature with animals, that was a thing I started to think of. If that was my last day, I might think, do. There's a richness out here in the world. How do I get in touch with it? And one of the things I thought about was things like nature with animals and just realizing the world that I'm in and try to see it through eyes that, just look for the richness of things. That's what I thought. But what else? Then I thought, well, maybe I think about acts of kindness. I've only got 24 hours left in this imaginary bit. We haven't, by the way. Let's just recap. This is not a belief we're going to take on board. Beep says, be with family, celebrating my life and contribution to love. Positivity. Absolutely. Because I thought, well, if you think about kindness, what could I be? How kind could it be in my last few breaths? Wouldn't that be a lovely way to go? Because to me, this is all about thinking, in some way leaving a legacy, celebrating your own life. Because if you think about it, and this is the other thing. Beep says, that's what I was about to say. What more could I give and contribute in those final hours? Yeah. Because you see, we are here in this world for you to be looking at me, or if you listen to the replay, to listen to me is a real freak of nature. Because if you go back to the very, very, very beginnings of everything and, all the coincidences and serendipity moments or serendipitous moments of people coming together, I can't say the word, but getting it together, doing all their stuff, making families carry on living, coming all the way through all those years to you and I at each other and thinking, now we're here. I owe kindness to the world because of all that luck for allowing me to be having breathed life. But think about this. I. Let's flip it on its head. What would you do if this was the first day of the rest of your life. And you knew that the rest of your life is going to carry on forever. Well, not ever, but you know it's going to go on for a long time. If this was the first day of the rest of your life, what would you do? And I thought about that beep which is probably procrastinate because I had a lot of time that's made me laugh. That's a chuckle. That's a chuckle. but the thing is, what maybe I would do is write a letter to express my love to people because I've got to have more time with them. What might else I do? I might go into nature and see the world right now in its richness that is going to spur me on through the rest of my life, through every breath I had. Maybe that family that. Do we always give everyone a hug? Yes. No. Not always. Not enough maybe. So maybe then I would, celebrate. This is the first day of the restaurant. This is my first breath, forever. And I'd celebrate it with people I love. Beep says to be curious of how I can keep improving and growing And then I'd think about if I've got procrastination, I'd join mind mastery again. But there go. That's just a quick side one. Then I thought, well, what else would I do? And I'd probably be thinking kindness. How can I be kind every day? Because I'm not. And that's an honest thing. this is something I do think about is trying to be, Yeah, I can be kind when I think about it, but don't. It's like when I think that s exactly what I said. When I think about it, I'LIKE to be kinder, all the time. Beep says to be curious of how I can keep improving and growing. Absolutely. But it's not only just being curious. Then it's then how can I take action on my curiosity? Now I've got this breath of life. I've got all my past, but this is the first day of the rest of my life. So there's something we can think about there. And I just think it's so interesting. And this is only the first part. I've just noticed I made a note which is really a personal note. When I said I want to be kinder, it says learn to be kind. It'like a little note to myself that I just realized I wrote down there, didn't remember doing. It was like, learn to be kind. Cause I've got. Just got something. Something in my head. Kindness is the way forward. Living in the moment means being totally mindful, but not just mindful But here's another thing we could Think about, we've got whatever Runway left. How can we enjoy it? And one of the things I thought was, is, well, it's sort of mindful because living in the moment. Because there are things that we put off in life, and they could be through all the stuff we talk about, impostor syndrome. Who am I to do this? Know? What would people think? But if this is my Runway, which it is, by the way, who gives us stuff, what anybody else was going to think? This is my Runway. Sod them. This is s my Runway. And I want toa do things in a wonderful way. I want toa learn to be better and be better because. And here's what I wrote down. I might not get to do this because I don't know how long my Runway is. So if I don't do it, when I think about it. And why am I thinking about this stuff? Is it the multiverse, the universe? Is it my unconscious mind, my old best friend saying, shit, , I'm sorry, but you ought to do something, do this. So that's another thing we could just think about in the moment. We've got this wrong way of life. If we had the thought, I might not get to do this. So bugger it, I'm going toa do it. Because it's built, on a value, you know, is it good for me? Yes. Is it good for other people? Yes. Is it good for little old planet Earth? Yes. That means it's totally ecological. I'm do it. Why? And the answer is, because I bloody can. I can physically do it, and I could learn. And the thing is, if I got to think about that more often, that's what I thought of, is what would it be like if you created that as a habit? Because we've got all, everyone's got habits. If I create a habit of thinking I, might not get to do this again, and you go, well, actually, you could put that to anything. Being kind to somebody. But if I ignore them and walk on, might not get to do that again. So I could be kind right now, or I could show affection, or I could whatever be present. Listen. Beep. It says, I wrote down bugger. I'm do it. Absolutely. Because I've got this. That's the other one. I've got this I get to do it. I'm do it. And you see, if we think about that and what I'm looking down my notes because I have to look at these sometimes when we get to think of our experiences like that. Living in the moment. Because any way can recognize not only I'm going to do it, but when I do it, I'm not just going to do it and then forget about it. I want to live it right now. So being totally mindful, but not just mindful in a way of, oh, I'm doing this experience, you know, hu be up there. I want to live it with all my, modalities. I want to see the richness of the world. I want to hear what's going on. At the same time, I want to smell and taste the whole lot. And then I want to feel it. What would it be like if we lived every moment like that? Maybe too much. Maybe too much. but if we started to go towards it, create a habit, living in the moment, realizing this could be, my last thing I ever do. It's not, but it could be. So if I think about that and go, you know, I might not get to do this. I'm do it. I want to create something. And then you put it into, like, selfless service. You never know how far the ripples of change will go What can I do to change the world? Well, I don't have to change the world. We've talked about this a long time ago. Is all you have to do is change by looking through the window. Your window from your house. There's a community outside. One person. I was thinking about this the other day and actually talked about it on one of my other podcasts. You never know how far the ripples of change will go. Not in your life. But I was thinking about my life when I was talking about this. I said, because when I became a hypnotist and a hypnotherapist and NLP practitioner, all that, I didn't know what was going to happen. I just know I wanted to do it. For some, weird reason, I wanted to do it, and I did it. So I got into that moment, I might not get to do this. And that was the type of thing. Maybe just flicked it over. So where did the ripples have change go? Don't know how far they went, but I know they did. Because when we trained people to become hypnotherapists, and I know they did. I know I, see them online now. They're doing work. How many people have they changed or help change? That's a lot of ripples that I don't know about. How many people have I, helped change? And their families got no idea. But I know I did. Luke, my middle son, his hypnotherapist and a magician. He's helped thousands of people. And they've obviously affected other people. Infected, affected, all started way back because they didn't know anything about hypnosis before I knew it. And then there's Joseph and you're seeing and, being part of the ripples of that change. And how many people has he affected with all these millions of downloads and hypnosis tracks and things like that, which when you go back 20 odd years ago, before I knew anything about this, those ripples weren't even in my head or anything. And they're going to keep happening. So you think about in the moment might not get to do this. And it's all about setting your intention, isn't it? That was my last bit. Just have the intention to live that rich life in the moment. Because it could be my first day, it could be my last day, it could be the rest of the rest of my life. And then I thought of another one. Here's something which get you to think a little bit. And I put a heading for this just so we know there's still time. Okay, we don't know how long the Runway is, but there's still time. And it's something I'd heard a long time ago. And it's go. When you look in that metaphorical mirror, are you seeing reflected back at you the person you, were meant to be that as deep asn't it? Are you seeing the person you were meant to be reflected back at you? And I know the answer is no, because there's always more. We always underestimate what we can do of all the skills we've got and how we can affect the world. But that's because there's time. We've still got time. So all we have to look is to say, well, in this reflection, what is missing? Beep says it's a work in progress. Life is a work in progress. When we intend to. I think it's so easy to say Beep. I, know where you're coming from with that, because you've got the intention. Life is a work in progress to do better things, influence people, care for people, share with people, service people. There are so many people I think, don't necessarily see it as a work in progress. They're just living moment to moment without actually living moment to moment, if that makes sense. But if we're in a position where we can look in that metaphorical mirror and go, okay, I, know who are meant to be. It's that ultimate vision of ourselves Isn't it? So what's missing? Because there'll always be something missing between who I am now and who I aspire to be. What is the one thing I can do now in this moment, on this run way of life to start doing so I can start to become the person I was meant to be. Guess what? I get to do this. And, maybe if I don't do it, I'll never get to do this. So I'm going to do it now. And it's all about, in some ways, intentionally living a rich life in every shape or form. And I think there's something maybe we don't do enough of. Beep. It says we're in autopilot if we don't stop to be more intentional. Absolutely. This's exactly what I was just about to say. You jumped in and perfectly right. I think sometimes we just go on this autopilot and sometimes it's that stopping and pausing, reviewing how many times do review how close am I to this person I was meant to be in the world? I was put on this world for a reason. We've just said if you go back to the very beginning of life, it's such a wonderful, magical coincidence that we're here breathing life, cannot waste it. And we're also here to enjoy it, to live a wonderful, rich life and experience it....
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FMQ 498 Can I Really Get Better Every Day
06/03/2025
FMQ 498 Can I Really Get Better Every Day
Can I Really Get Better Every Day? CANI Constant and Neverending Improvement - Is that really a thing? Can you continue to improve by 1% a day? Is all that possible or just Personal Development hype? Well, let's see. Come with me for about 5 minutes and let's muse and see what we think. After that, please share this episode and your thoughts Oh! And the video of me recording this is here: Shine Brightly 🌟 Paul Hey there! I’d love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at . Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review . Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit . Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to . Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure. Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on , Castbox, , YouTube, or on our . Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨ Music Credits Music by Wataboi, DreamHeaven, ccjmusic, and others from . Personal development [self improvement] [self development] [NLP] [Hypnosis]
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