RE 560: Stress Reduction That Works

Today we have Dennis. He is 36 years old and lives near Vancouver, Canada. Dennis took his last drink on September 5^th, 2025.

 

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[03:20] Thoughts from Paul:

 

Paul shares with us an article about stress by Dr. Rebecca Harris

 

Most stress management advice gets it wrong. We’re often told to focus inward and practice self-care like bubble baths, meditation and getting a massage. While these activities aren’t harmful, they’re missing something critical.

 

When we experience stress, our bodies release a cocktail of hormones. Most people focus on cortisol and adrenaline, but there’s another key player: oxytocin. This is the connection chemical that is primed when we are stressed.

Dr. Harris says that 58% of people stress out more when trying to control their stress. She says when researching workplace wellness programs, all of them fail to reduce stress with the exception of those programs that encourage employees to do charity or volunteer work.

So, when you are feeling stressed, try finding a way to help someone else. Or a pet? Take a dog for a walk, or your neighbor’s dog. Maybe it’s the planet. Get a trash bag and walk up and down your road. Get on the phone with someone and don’t talk about your problem but ask them how their life is going.

The magic of an addiction is that it is trying to bring us back to our roots. When you start feeling the feels, start thinking not about how to make yourself feel better, but how you can make someone else feel better.

[10:38] Paul introduces Dennis:

 

Dennis is 36 years old and lives outside of Vancouver, Canada. He is married and they have two kids and two dogs. For work, Dennis is a millwright working in industrial mechanics.

 

Dennis grew up with an alcoholic father. When he was younger, he was turned off by alcohol due to what it did to his family, but around age 15 he tried drinking and says it was a problem for him from the beginning. Some early experiences found him in precarious situations,

 

Dennis met his wife when he was 19 and they drank together until they had kids. His wife was able to cut back while Dennis was not. This put some stress on the marriage over time with his wife trying to give him reality checks that drove him to try and take breaks. Those would last nine or so months and then Dennis would think that he could moderate, but that never lasted long before he was back where he was or worse.

 

On the evening of September 5^th, Dennis was very drunk and behaving poorly. Upon waking the next morning, Dennis passed out and cut his cheek. Instead of going to the hospital, he went to his tee time and played the worst round of golf ever, he says. He was dwelling on the incident and his drinking, realizing that he could not continue living this way.

 

The first week without alcohol Dennis just tried to stay busy while listening to other people’s stories on the RE podcast. This helped him recognize that he couldn’t do it alone and he began to burn the ships. This included a talk with his oldest son who told Dennis they were proud of him for wanting to get help.

 

After the first week, Dennis attended his first AA meeting. For the first time he felt proud of his decision to quit. He had a great conversation with his wife later when she told him she was proud of him. Dennis said since then his life has done a 180.

 

Dennis says this time he is doing more than just “not drinking”. He is exercising, working on being more present, attending AA and relearning his hobbies without alcohol. His goal is to be a better father, husband and person – and just a better version of himself.

 

Recovery Elevator

You took the elevator down, you gotta take the stairs back up.

You can do this.

 

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