RE 569: Change Your Relationship With Alcohol?

Today we have Sean. He is 33 years old and lives in Phoenix, AZ. He took his last drink on January 22, 2022.

 

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[03:00] Thoughts from Paul:

 

“Want to change your relationship with alcohol?” is a common question asked in the recovery space.

 

When somebody says they want to change their relationship with something, it usually implies there’s a goal of improvement. Changing a relationship with exercise may look like hitting the gym more. Maybe changing a relationship with your mother-in-law means you’re going to try harder at Thanksgiving to keep your mouth shut. Or it’s like saying you want to change your relationship with a narcissistic ex who stole your credit card, crashed your car and told everyone at the party that you wet the bed in third grade.

 

Some relationships don’t need to change; they need to end. So, maybe we don’t want to moderate our relationship with a substance that literally erodes our livers. We don’t want to set boundaries with something that crosses every boundary we’ve ever set. And we certainly don’t want to work on things with a liquid that has never once worked on itself.

 

Paul shares that the only relationship change with alcohol that he’s interested in is the one where they are in no relationship at all.

 

[06:57] Paul introduces Sean:

 

Sean is married and they have an eight-year-old daughter together. For fun he enjoys fishing, going to concerts, playing music and being outside as much as he can.

 

Sean had his first drink when he was 17. He says every moment after that, he felt like he was trying to chase that feeling again. He recognizes now that he was drinking to escape a rough home life. The drinking didn’t become daily until his early 20’s when he began working at a bar.

 

Sean was drinking 20-25 drinks a day and excused it by the environment he was in. Sean though he was using alcohol to help his anxiety, but over time started realizing his drinking was causing it. Since Sean was able to work, provide for his family and help raise his daughter, he didn’t see the problem. Soon he needed to drink before work to avoid withdrawal symptoms and over time he was drinking throughout the day.

 

The drinking began to cause issues for Sean and depression started to set in. Sean was in denial that it was the alcohol causing it but soon realized that he was powerless over his drinking and that scared him. The thoughts that his family would be better off without him, and audible hallucinations were consuming his mind. He finally decided to try and taper his drinking in an effort to quit but struggled with it.

 

Sean eventually was able to quit cold turkey after tapering and says the first few nights were the worst. He googled his symptoms and found a YouTube video by Paul about Post-Acute Withdrawal Symptoms. This helped him recognize that this wouldn’t last forever and that his body was in the process of healing.

 

It took about six months for Sean to begin feeling better and he started to go to Celebrate Recovery and found community. He gained a lot of hope seeing others that had years of sobriety. Sean credits gratitude as being a big help to keep him out of anxiety and depression now. He allows himself to feel his emotions instead of letting them define him.

 

Sean says his spirituality and relationship with God is what has made this possible for him. He enjoys helping others trying to have a connection with God and/or sobriety.

 

Recovery Elevator

We took the elevator down

Let’s take the stairs back up.

We can do this.

 

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