RE 571: From Passive to Active Recovery

Today we have Veronica. She is 52 years old, lives in Alabama and she had her last drink on May 1^st, 2000.

 

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[03:07] Thoughts from Paul:

 

Paul wants to talk about the exploration he mentioned at the end of last week’s intro. When you first quit drinking, things kind of happen to you – sleep improves, your head clears and maybe a hobby resurfaces on it’s own. It’s passive.

 

But at some point, you realize that your not just not drinking anymore. You’re actually living. And you get to decide what that looks like. This is the intentional phase where you stop wandering and start exploring with purpose.

 

Now is the time to think about some things that you may have wanted to do but didn’t have the space for because alcohol consumed it all. Now you have the bandwidth to explore what you want to make space for in your life.

 

This week, Paul wants you to ask yourself, “what’s one thing I’ve been curious about that I haven’t made time for?” Just one small piece of unexplored territory.

 

Next week we will talk about what happens when you start building momentum but for now, just pick your direction. The expedition starts with a single step – now take it.

 

[7:40] Paul introduces Veronica:

 

Veronica is British but has lived in the US for about 15 years. She is married and has two sons. Veronica has worked as a psychotherapist and sobriety coach for many years, has written three books and has a strong online presence in the recovery space with Soberful (also the name of her most recent book).

 

Veronica started drinking when she was around age 13. She felt like it fixed the issues she had with being uncomfortable in her own skin. She says she was a binge drinker and began to use hallucinogenic drugs which impacted her negatively and triggered major anxiety for which she used alcohol to control.

 

Veronica was always looking for help for her anxiety and depression but never considered alcohol was contributing. When she moved to Florida, she met someone sober and it changed her outlook. Additionally, she was taking college courses in addiction counseling and after brief time of accidental sobriety, she began attending 12 step meetings to learn more about the people she planned to help.

 

Initially she didn’t identify with anyone at the meetings until someone spoke about fear. Veronica says this was her moment of clarity. Veronica feels that fear is the engine of an alcohol problem and it manifests anxiety and panic attacks in a lot of people.

 

Veronica went all in with getting a sponsor and doing the steps, becoming a therapist and began to work in a rehab. At 3 years sober, she hit an emotional rock bottom and discovered the work of emotional sobriety. She has discovered that this is 90% of the work of getting sober. Veronica acknowledges that working on emotional sobriety is a lifelong journey and changing our perceptions of things to overcome resentment is an important part of it.

 

Veronica Valli

Soberful

Veronica’s Instagram

 

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