My Lesson from Stoneys Rocking Country Last Night and Made Up Dancing Rules

Last night I was at Stoneys Rockin’ Country.

A nice cowboy guy asked me to dance.

We were dancing…and he said ‘oops, I’m sorry, I messed up.’

I said ‘you can’t mess up dancing. You can’t do it wrong as long as you’re having fun!’

I don’t think he agreed lol.

Back when I was first learning to two-step, I would have guys stop me in the middle of the dance floor and tell me I’m doing it wrong.

They were obviously not good at living in the moment.

I’m all for ‘hey, let’s try this, and if you turn this way when my hand goes here, then we can do this cool move and it’s fun!’

But ‘you’re doing it wrong’ or ‘i’m doing it wrong’?

Nah.

We can’t do it ‘wrong.’

What’s the purpose of dancing?

To have fun.

When I like the song, I always have fun dancing.

This podcast episode is NOT for all of you who are like ‘um, Julie, you’re wrong, obviously there’s a right way and a wrong way to dance.’

This episode is for all of you who are like ‘wait a minute…I literally make up the rules for my own life…and as long as I’m having fun dancing, I AM doing it right!’

And learning new things is fun, but I still can’t do it ‘wrong’ as long as I’m having fun! I’ve been practicing doing things that feel good.

Letting go of how things look to other people or what other people’s expectations are of me. At a recent conference there was a live band and one of my formerly ‘dreaded’ things happened. A dance circle. Just so you know where I’m coming from, I never even shook my booty even a little bit before I turned 25. You know the movie footloose?

Yeah. haha. That was me.

So when I first went dancing with some friends, I LOVED the idea of it, but was SO worried about whether or not I was doing it right.

They taught me some moves, but still… a dance circle was a nightmare for me haha.

So I was at this conference we were all dancing to the music and then the crowd parted and the dreaded dance circle started.

This is not a story where I was awesome and went in the middle and crushed it.

This is a story of my friend Cathey who continued to do her own thing outside of the circle.

I was honestly mesmerized by her moves.

She doesn’t drink so everything she did was 100% her normal every day self.

As she danced, one thing became clear to me.

The reason that her moves were so awesome.

She was dancing for herself.

She could not care less about what anyone else was doing…she had the largest most awesome smile and was absolutely crushing it.

And by crushing it, I don’t mean she was doing anything fancy.

She was just being 100% her.

And it was inspiring.

I've been thinking a lot about what I’m put on earth to do.

And I think that one of the things I’m here to do is show you that you can dance YOUR way and you can’t do it wrong.

You can’t do the dance of life wrong.

One of my exes had the moves memorized but he had no rhythm. (no judgment here haha, I didn’t care)

Even though I LOVE dancing and we met while dancing, he NEVER wanted to go out dancing.

But every wedding we went to, he trotted me out and showed off for the crowd, edging the others off the dance floor.

And yes, we DID make quite a spectacle.

I’m talking flips and that move that Baby did in that one movie where she ran and did a headstand off his shoulders as he held her hips… But he didn’t dance for pleasure…he danced to be seen of others.

How many of us are missing the dance of life?…We trott out memorized dance moves to be seen of others.

We learn more moves and train harder, not for pleasure of the moves, but because we want to impress others.

Ew.

It’s so much more fun to ask ourselves ‘what do we want to do?’

This World has so many exciting and amazing things we can do for work.

So many things we can do for pure pleasure.

So many things we can learn.

So many people to meet.

So many cultures to experience.

What would I do if no matter what I chose to do and no matter who I chose to be…everyone who matters thinks I’m awesome? (side note…the only person who needs to think you’re awesome is you…and the rest will happen naturally…)

I had another boyfriend who loved dancing but thought he wasn’t good at it.

(Not enough characters left, listen or check out the full story on my Rhino Julie FB page for this part of the story)

It’s a great journal prompt: What moments in life can we enjoy more fully if we let go of the made up rules of others.

We are all different…we all have ways that we want to show up and things we want to do.

But no one else can make your rules for you.

You have to make your own.

If it feels good to you, check out my private online group at www.rhinojulie.com …

In the private group I make live courses on making your own rules for business, relationships, money, weight loss and life in general. I share things I would NEVER share on the interwebs and enjoy the camaraderie of the like minded souls in the group. We are all learning, growing, and busting out of the pre-programmed lives that were set up for us by others.