The Difference Between Happiness and Joy with Pamela Larde, PhD
Snafu w/ Robin Zander
Hello and welcome back to Snafu, a podcast about behavior change. Pamela Larde, PhD is a scholar and expert on the topic of joy. She is the author of Joyfully Single: A Revolutionary Guide to Enlightenment, Wholeness, and Change and a professor of Leadership Development at Anderson University. Her mission is to help develop leaders who lead with heart. Pamela illustrates the role of joy as a powerful tool, empowering individuals to cultivate resilience and gracefully navigate the myriad challenges life presents. Through her teachings, the concept of joy transforms into more than...
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How to Build Exceptional Relationships with Carole Robin, PhD
Snafu w/ Robin Zander
Hello and welcome back to Snafu, a podcast about behavior change. For today’s episode, I sat down with Carole Robin, PhD – an expert in leadership development and interpersonal dynamics. She is best known for her work at Stanford Graduate School of Business, where she taught the infamous "Interpersonal Dynamics" course. This course is considered one of the most transformative experiences for MBA students. Her expertise in this field led her to co-author the book Connect: Building Exceptional Relationships with Family, Friends and Colleagues, which was featured as one of Bloomberg's Best...
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How to Build Transformative Relationships with Michael Melcher
Snafu w/ Robin Zander
Hello and welcome back to Snafu, a podcast about behavior change.! For today’s episode, I sat down with Michael Melcher – author, executive coach, and lawyer. He's best known for his book Your Invisible Network: How to Create, Maintain, and Leverage the Relationships That Will Transform Your Career, a practical guide on building meaningful relationships. Michael’s background includes a law degree from Harvard Law School and experience in both law and consulting. He writes and speaks on topics related to career management, personal development, and leadership. In this episode, we talk...
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How to Navigatie Life’s Biggest Decisions Abby Davisson
Snafu w/ Robin Zander
Hello and welcome back to Snafu, a podcast about behavior change.! For today’s episode, I sat down with Abby Davisson, former president of the Gap Foundation, and author who has worked in the fields of social impact and corporate philanthropy. Abby believes in using business to make positive changes in society. She recently published a book called Money and Love: An Intelligent Roadmap for Life's Biggest Decisions. In this book, she talks about how to make important choices in life, especially when it comes to balancing money concerns with personal relationships and happiness. In this...
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Why You Should Work Less with Alex Soojung-Kim Pang
Snafu w/ Robin Zander
Hello and welcome back to Snafu, a podcast about behavior change! For today’s episode, I sat down with Alex Soojung-Kim Pang, a Silicon Valley-based author, consultant, and researcher famous for advocating for the 4-day work week. Alex has become a leading advocate for the concept of "deliberate rest" through his books Rest: Why You Get More Done When You Work Less and Work Less, Do More. Alex challenges traditional notions of productivity, arguing that strategic periods of rest and shorter working hours lead to higher productivity, more creativity, and better job...
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The Future of Teams with Sally Thornton
Snafu w/ Robin Zander
Hello and welcome back to The Robin Zander Show! For today’s episode, I sat down with Sally Thornton, the founder and CEO of Forshay. Forshay is a company that specializes in executive recruiting and improving workplace dynamics through diversity and inclusion. She has a background in creating innovative solutions for work-life balance and has been a speaker at various conferences, including TEDx talks. In this episode, Sally and I talk about the science of work, how to be a good leader, doing work you love, and much more. Sally is also an official speaker at Responsive Conference...
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The Coaching Habit with Michael Bugay Steiner
Snafu w/ Robin Zander
Hello and welcome back to The Robin Zander Show! For today’s episode, I sat down with Michael Bugay Steiner, author of books that have sold a million copies, including The Coaching Habit, a self-published book that’s become the best-selling book on coaching this century. Michael Bungay Stanier is a speaker and executive coach. As the founder of Box of Crayons, he's trained thousands of managers in coaching skills. Michael’s work focuses on helping people unlock their potential and create more effective workplace cultures. In this episode, Michael and I talk about turning your...
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The Art of Communication with Charles Duhigg
Snafu w/ Robin Zander
Hello and welcome back to The Robin Zander Show! For today’s episode, I sat down with New York Times bestselling author, Charles Duhigg. In this episode, Charles and I talk about the art of communication and the insights from his new book, "Super Communicators." We explore how effective communication is a skill that anyone can learn, focusing on the importance of asking deep questions to connect with others.Charles shares his experiences, including lessons from his time as a reporter in Iraq, and how understanding the types of conversations – practical, emotional, and social – can...
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Do hard things
Snafu w/ Robin Zander
The Habit of Doing Hard Things I appreciate the irony. Do hard things, move to the Caribbean! And while most of us probably aren’t going to move to a tiny island in order to make our lives more difficult, there are a lot of simple habits that can help. Identify One Thing Every Day That Scares You Identify something that scares you. Notice someone you are intimidated by. Recognize a moment when you avoided speaking up. Identify one moment in your day when you feel physically nervous or afraid. You don’t need to take action – not yet! Just bring attention to one...
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How to reframe failure
Snafu w/ Robin Zander
There are a lot of things about being an entrepreneur that I avoid, but one of the silliest is opening physical mail. When I was starting Robin’s Cafe, I got a lot of mail - plans from the San Francisco planning department, legal documents, food permitting, alcohol permitting, pest control notifications, more. I was so busy figuring out the day-to-day of running the business that I developed the bad habit of just ignoring mail and leaving the pile to build up on my desk for weeks on end. When I finally got around to dealing with the pile, there was always a notice that I’d...
info_outlineEverything You Know About Sales is Wrong
Everything in life is sales. From inviting your child to do her homework, to deciding where to go for dinner, to encouraging a colleague at work, the situations we encounter daily are filled with the dynamic of sales and persuasion. And, unfortunately, most of what you know about sales is wrong.
What is Sales?
My favorite example of sales comes from a scene from the classic Christmas movie Miracle on 34th Street.
In Miracle, the Macy’s department store Santa asks each child who sits on his lap what they want for Christmas. Santa then tells the family where they can purchase that toy at the best price, even if it means at a competing department store. At first, the store manager is outraged that Santa is supporting his competitors - until he sees enthusiastic customers returning to Macy’s because of the excellent customer service. The value to Macy’s of Santa’s recommendations is greater than the sale of a single children’s toy; it’s customer loyalty.
Sales is having a clear solution – a service, opportunity or opinion – that can help to solve somebody’s problem. Like Santa, good sales means aligning yourself with the interests of the person you are talking to, to discover if your solution is a good fit for them. If it is, invite them toward your solution, and if not, move on.
How to Do It Wrong
Sales and persuasion are most often practiced with pressure and urgency.
Think of the reputation of a car salesman – pushy, fast-talking, deceptive. They aren’t considering what is best for the customer. They only want to sell a specific car at the best possible price. The result: nobody enjoys the experience and the customer won’t recommend that product or service in the future.
Pressure and urgency can work, but only in the short-term. They don’t increase trust or loyalty.
How to Do It Right
A Process of Discovery
Done well, sales and persuasion should be a process of discovery. Instead of using force, inquire about what your friend wants to eat for dinner. Get curious about why your colleague doesn’t want to do the work assigned to them.
When you start by asking questions about what someone is looking to solve – for themselves, their business, or their family – you'll discover if what you are selling is a good fit for the other person.
People relate through the stories that you tell them, so share your experience, too. As I discussed in “Everything is Storytelling,” your story should be brief, personal and relatable.
Useful Beliefs About Sales and Persuasion
Abundance - If the person you are talking to doesn’t want the solution you are offering, somebody else will. There are between 7 and 8 billion people in the world today. If the person you are talking to is not a good fit, move on.
Believe it - Believe in what you are selling. That doesn’t mean that it is valuable to every single prospective buyer, only they can tell you that. But believing that it is valuable in the world makes closing easier, genuine, and fun.
Decrease the stakes - There are very few game changing moments in life, and this specific sale isn’t likely to be one of them. Whether or not you make this sale today isn’t likely to matter over the course of your or your customer’s life.
Autonomy - Foster the belief that everybody knows what's best for themselves. You aren’t trying to convince anyone, but rather inviting them to entertain if what you’re offering is a good fit for them.
Look for “What I’ve learned” - It is useful to hold that even if you don't close a sale, you will have learned a lot along the way. This practice of iteration and repeated repetitions will make you better at closing future sales.
Put in the Reps
Improving at sales is a matter of practice and incremental improvement. Many of the most successful salespeople and deal makers in the world have practiced tens of thousands of times. Sales is as much a performance as trying out for a sport or auditioning for a play, and practice makes for consistency.
Your Attitude Closes Deals
Who you are and how you show up with a prospective customer is what will determine whether they buy. Who you are closes deals.
Maintain an attitude of enthusiasm and want what is best for the other person. You'll have a better chance of having things go your way.
Next time you are debating with your spouse about the dishes, trying to get your child to do their homework, or asking an employee to fill out their hours, think of Santa, sitting in Macy's department store, referring customers to the competition.
Until next time,
Robin