S7E01: Summer Series: Taking a Break From...the Extreme Demands of Parenting

Happy first official week of summer! We recognize that for many folks, summer requires a reorganization of scheduling and routines for parents, who have three months in which they cannot rely on schools to partner with them in rearing their children. 

While some parents see these three months as exciting, others face these months with growing trepidation. This week, we're talking about how to create structures that can hopefully make parenting a little less overwhelming for the next few months. Julia and Jeremiah talk about:

• Expectations (8:00): Jeremiah details the core of today’s episode: “The pressure to be a fully present and engaged parent at all times can be really crushing. We'll discuss how EMPish communities model ideal parenting structures, and how this can harm both parents and children.”

• Evangelical Parental Structure (14:00): Julia says, “Women were the primary nurturers of children, while fathers played the role, to use the language of my church growing up, head of household, which meant that men took the lead on major family decisions, including child related decisions, despite being less involved in the quantity of parenting than the mothers were. The father might consult with his wife. But, ultimately, the father had the final say.”

• Fear-Based Parenting (18:00): In discussing EMPish communities, Jeremiah notes: “This parenting model is about control and controlling, about adults being able to control children, to put parameters around them. The point of parenting is to create parent child interactions where that sense of control is created. Corporal punishment is often a way to create that through a sense of a fear based parenting.”

• Policing Parenting (20:00): Julia shares her friend's anecdote about parenting within EMPish structure, “My friend described the ensuing hyper vigilance that developed for her knowing that teachers and other parents at the school were keeping tabs on her and her husband's parenting. This is important, not from the position of offering support, but from the position of policing both parenthood roles based on gender and the gender development of my friend's young daughter.”

• Performative Parenting (27:00): Julia says, “The main point though is that many parents may struggle to escape the pressures of parenthood because of the pervasiveness of all types of unrealistic expectations, which don't ultimately support family or relational health.”

• Let Your Kids Be Bored (29:00): Jeremiah discusses, “The importance of giving kids unstructured space free of regulation from adults so that children can learn how to problem solve and make effective creative decisions for themselves.”

• Easiest Lift (32:00): Julia outlines one of the relationship 101’s: “Maybe an easier lift to budget in 15 minutes at the beginning or end of the day to check in with a partner and to and to let children be bored or absorbed in other ways.”

Let's heal together!