382 Consensus Selling: The Invisible Decision-Makers Behind The Meeting Room Wall

Why does a request for a proposal in Japan not always mean you are winning?

In Japan, reaching “please send a proposal” can feel like major progress, because it sounds like interest. But the request can also be a polite way to avoid a direct “no”. Because Japan is a very polite society, a blunt refusal is often uncomfortable, so people use indirect ways to close a conversation without confrontation. Therefore, if you automatically treat the request as a buying signal, you can waste hours producing a proposal that was never going to be acted on.

The practical takeaway is to treat the proposal request as a checkpoint, not a victory lap. Use it to test fit and seriousness before you invest heavy time in writing.

Mini-summary: A proposal request can mean interest, or it can be polite disengagement. Treat it as a test point, not proof you have the deal.

 How can you quickly test whether the proposal request is real or just politeness?

A simple way to test is to agree to provide the proposal, but add a second step: discuss pricing while you are still together. Because you usually understand what will be involved in the solution, you should be able to talk about pricing, or at least the main pricing component, on the spot. If the real issue is budget, raising pricing early helps flush that out immediately.

This approach protects your time. If the buyer reacts as if the pricing is impossible, you have saved yourself from “slaving away” on a document that will be rejected later. If they stay engaged, you have a stronger sign that the request is not just a soft “no”.

Mini-summary: Say yes to the proposal, then discuss pricing in the meeting. You are testing budget fit before you spend time writing.

Why does pricing discussion still not produce a clear yes or no in Japan?

Even if you talk about pricing, you should not expect an on-the-spot commitment. Because the person in front of you often needs internal consensus, the decision makers may be “unseen”, effectively sitting behind the meeting-room wall. Therefore, the meeting is rarely the final decision point, even when the buyer personally likes your offer.

What you can gain is intelligence. When you introduce pricing, watch body language closely. It can indicate whether you will be a serious contender or whether the organisation will quietly move away from you later.

Mini-summary: Consensus decision making limits instant decisions. Pricing is still valuable because body language can reveal your standing.

Why might Japanese buyers still ask for a proposal even when they do not want to proceed?

There are at least two common reasons. First, they may need something written to show colleagues as part of building consensus. Second, they may prefer to deliver the “no” when you are not physically present, because that is less stressful and less embarrassing. Because people tend to choose the path of least resistance, delaying the refusal can feel easier than saying it face-to-face.

This is why a proposal request, by itself, is ambiguous. You need additional signals to understand whether the written document is for internal alignment or for an indirect rejection.

Mini-summary: They may need paper for internal discussion, or they may want to reject you at a distance. The same request can serve both purposes.

Why does a guilt-based proposal tactic from the United States not translate well to Japan?

One sales tactic described in Victor Antonio’s podcast involves highlighting how many hours it takes to create a proposal, to encourage the buyer to give a clear answer. In Japan, this does not work well because the buyer often avoids confrontation. Rather than choosing a firm “no”, they may default to “interested but not sure” regardless of reality, simply to keep the interaction smooth.

Because of this, you should avoid methods that depend on direct refusal or open disagreement. Instead, focus on non-confrontational tests such as discussing pricing and observing reactions. 

Mini-summary: Techniques that rely on forcing a direct “no” can fail in Japan. Use low-friction tests that do not create confrontation.

What do tatemae and honne mean, and why do they matter for proposals?

Tatemae is the public truth, and honne is the real truth. In Japan, tatemae is a basic tool of polite society. Western businesspeople can feel they were lied to when they first encounter tatemae, but the mechanism is familiar: many cultures use “little white lies” to protect feelings and avoid unnecessary conflict.

Because tatemae exists, your buyer’s words can be courteous without being decisive. Therefore, you need to listen for what is not said and to design your process so you can clarify intent without pushing the buyer into an embarrassing refusal.

 Mini-summary: Tatemae (public truth) can mask honne (real truth). Your process must account for polite ambiguity.

If you still have to create a proposal, what is the biggest mistake to avoid?

The biggest mistake is sending the proposal by email and letting it arrive “alone and undefended”. When the document lands without you, the buyer can misunderstand what you mean. It does not matter whose fault that misunderstanding is; the consequence is that your value can be lost before you ever get to explain it.

Because buyers often look straight to the numbers first, the cost can taint their view of the value explanation that appears earlier in the document. Therefore, you need to control how the document is consumed.

Mini-summary: Do not send an undefended proposal. If they jump to the price first, you may lose the value context.

How should you present a proposal so the value does not get drowned out by the price?

Whenever possible, present the proposal in person. Walk them through the value explanation first, and check along the way that you have correctly understood what they need. This lets you answer questions, clarify misunderstandings, and “shepherd” the buyer through the logic of the offer before they reach the number section.

By the time they see the price, it should be wrapped in context: outcomes, fit, and a shared understanding of the problem. This approach improves your chances because it reduces misinterpretation and keeps the focus on value before cost.

Mini-summary: Present proposals in person and guide the buyer through value before price. Control the sequence, context, and understanding.